Rather than just mention it...

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Rather than just discuss that I found complaints about myself in the bible, I thought to write them here, mostly, and debate their veracity (not the truth of the wisdom, merely whether it applies, how, and to what depth perhaps). I do not think this is going out on a limb. We all do this, whether we use the bible or some other source. And most, within their own council, ponder these notions just the same. No need to comment to the fool, but if it pleases you, cast your thought (or stone as the case may be). I will withstand any stones I deserve... uhrm, if due to some of this, I might dodge a little. :p

On the dual edged sword of things, where the notion could brake either way, and all from Proverbs, are Proverbs 20: 29; 28: 1, 14; 23; 29: 18. I am using the NAB (New American Bible, Catholic) version. But I will write these out. The first one, 20: 29, "The glory of young men is their strength, and the dignity of old men is gray hair." I liked that one as I have had gray hair since I was in my mid teens. I know, it means nothing in truth, it was a feel good thing. In 28:1, "The wicked man flees although no one pursues him; but the just man, like a lion, feels sure of himself." This one is a little mixed for me, for I did flee from Iowa. And yet, in certain situations, I will stand and deliver. Though other justice (to my classifications) Proverbs do indicate that when evil flourishes and gains power, the just do hide. Still, I wonder here. The next is just so, 28:28, "When wicked men gain pre-eminence, other men hide; but at their fall the just flourish.", and there are many in that vein. This one, 28:14 "Happy the man who is always on his guard; but he who hardens his heart will fall into evil." is a boldening and warning to me. My paranoia must be held in check, and yes, I get that. But neither should I go about without the attendance of caution. And this one, 28:23 gives me pause about my writings here, "He who rebukes a man gets more thanks in the end than one with a flattering tongue." It makes me worry, in the lighter sense, and continue to observe what I write, on both spectrums. Would that make it a four edged sword? This last one actually gladens me, and brings strength to a certain friendship or dozen and my own ways, 29:18, "Without prophecy the people become demoralized, but happy is he who keeps the law." Okay, so I cannot in truth, keep the law, not perfectly. But knowing the law is the beginning, investigating the law is a furtherance, and seeking to keep it is also a help, if in the end these are minor in truth, it is what we have. Even the Jewish learnings declare that an oblation without goodness is profane, so that if we fail but seek, we will find. And, Christ, of course, carries this to fulfillment.

Those where the ones which were both uplifting to current life, for me, and warnings about the particulars as well. The next are, if not all, some of the ones which sting like thorns. I know where I fail, or might be failing, and so I will write it here.

I will have to do this in sections. Ha! I know, but... There is much. But I will list them, then go through them and separate for length as need be. Proverbs 14: 23; 15: 6, 12, 18, 19, 17:10; 18: 1,2; 21: 25; 25: 28, and 29: 1. All of these cause me to think I am over the line, or close to it. There are more, others, and such, and many are repeated often (due to importance?).

Well, I will start at the start. In Proverbs 14:23, "In all labor there is profit, but mere talk tends only penury."; Prv 15:6, "In the house of the just there are ample resources, but the earnings of the wicked are in termoil." (though it does seem I always have at least a nickle and a can of food, I am never sure about larger things, I am surely a fool if not wicked outright); Prv 15:12, "The senseless man loves not to be reproved, to wise men he will not go." (dealing with me not going to Church); 15: 18, "An ill tempered man stirs up strife, but a patient man allays discord." (I seem a trouble maker, some of it might be just, but I cannot say that for all, perhaps most, of that), 15: 19, "The way of the sluggard is hemmed in as with thorns, but the path of the diligent is a highway." (Is it just illness that causes me to be as I am? I worry. I do try, but is my effort enough?); 17:10, "A single reprimand does more for a man of intelligence than a hundred lashes for a fool." (Yeah, okay, I know this one. Ewhh, ewhhh, teacher, me, me, me! *sigh*). Next group follows.

In Proverbs 18:1, "In estrangement one seeks pretexts, with all persistence he picks a quarrel." (And he does it too often.); 18:2, "The fool takes no delight in understanding, but rather displaying what he thinks." (How could that not be true. I would like to think sometimes I am better, but I know the truth too often.); 21:25, "The sluggards propensity slays him, for his hands refuse to work." (Back to that again, and there is another about the sluggard fearing lions in the courtyard, several times, which goads the one about being on guard to the left (bad) a bit); 29:1, "The man who remains stiff necked and hates rebuke will be crushed suddenly beyond cure." (You think? I do wonder.).

There are others, these are the main concerns, at least from this part of the book. I do consider what I write. I do worry that my thoughts are being confused with what is correct. Though too, I know some of what I write which is good is despised these days. Being that one cannot claim himself wise (as perhaps I have done in err of course), it is difficult to know with certainty, except in reading the bible, praying, and attending to wiser men. As for the sluggard suggestions, I really do not know if my illness was a curse or a blessing. It suggest that sluggards will starve, do poorly, and such, and yet I have been upheld, fed, and kept from falling into utter ruin. And I do push, but enough? If too I know that pushing too hard is no different and often more dangerous to me, than not pushing at all at times.

In conclusion, I know I fail. I know what I deserve. And I thank God for His Son who has offered me a truth and a way I know I could never find or create on my own. Still, many things bother me. Many things make me question my writings, my thinking, and my ways. I cannot really know. I realize, just as the Jews where to Moses' knowing, I am blind to his and more even to Christs. My only true recourse is to pray regretfully, yet not abandon His proscribed ways or words. For these too are scorned. I must just settle with doing my level best, learning as I may (whether with the single word or the 100 lashes it seems), and going from there.

Your humble fool, Doom.

Have a great day.