What to say.

.
.
I spoke with my mom today. I had considered not saying anything, but my breathing was something she noted, and that it has gotten worse. Now that I am pretty sure it is not my heart, I went ahead and spilled the beans about what I know and what remains unknown. My heart is not only good, but probably quite good. Further, even if my liver and kidneys are having problems, they are in good shape as organs and have been looked at a number of different ways. Blood pressure, of course, is the primary culprit for the whole stack of problems, including the edema. And yet the doctors refuse to offer the medicine that allowed me to take the medicine that helps in spite of having been on the whole mess for up to two years and through three V.A. doctors and a private care physician. It really does look suspicious, from my point of view, as to why they refuse what has worked at least to the degree that it works.

I have looked at edema. The various causes are being ruled out one by one. It does tie to my blood pressure, but that remains untreatable. So finding something that helps ease suffering from the edema, at this point, is probably as good as it gets. I did tell my mother that they sent inhalers, but that the two times I have tried it I found no relief. She has been on an inhaler herself, before, and suggested that one or two attempts will not help. That the medicine needs to rise to a certain level before it will help. I doubt this, but have decided to give that a try. I continue to take the diuretic given at the ER. I will call tomorrow and find out why the diuretic was switched without even talking to me, back to a possibly edema causing diuretic, and why I have not received the potassium. I continue to take the potassium those rare times I eat. Eating actually worsens the pain from chest expansion, making eating even less interesting than before.

My mother did offer to come out should I need help. I actually could use help now, as I am unable to balance my life almost at all right now. But unless I am literally dying and have become immobile, I am not sure I want help. Calling in favors is a last resort. I am comforted though, knowing that I would have her here should that eventuality arrive. I suspect I could try to set it up so that she receives some income for caring for me as well. That would make it easier on both of us. And, despite our differences, I know of few people personally who I would trust to manage my home, provide food, and keep things clean. And if things were allowed, she could even just manage other care providers. She is good with such things, exemplary actually.

I have a few other issues I need to deal with. I am about to begin seeking advice on how to go about fighting for some things. We live in a dark, greedy, lying world. Sometimes being took is just the way it is. Sometimes, however, there are ways to, if not punish, at least not lose whole on bad deals. I make a lousy squeaky wheel, as some call it. It is time to consider fighting on a few things. I guess I want what I can get so that my life should it continue be easier or should it be ending that loose ends are tended. It is time to begin kicking in teeth, legally, morally, socially, and however else I may pursue justice.

Later.