Winded all the time.

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I finally understand why getting things done is so difficult. I am literally winded all of the time. Remember those sprints in high school football or track practice? Where you clutch your side and groan after the tenth, fifteenth, or twentieth sprint? While not quite that bad, more like how it feels when the pain first appears and begins to grow, it is also constant. Getting out of bed and getting going is exhausting. Even getting into bed, rolling to some modicum of comfort, and getting the blankets right, leaves me a bit tired. Even if I am getting enough oxygen, I am having to constantly fight for it.

I could not sleep until around 6:00 this morning. I woke at 14:00 or so, but getting up and going was an absolute bear. And it has been for some time. When I finally get up, get arranged, and find a perch, as I go about my routines I can settle to a bit of peace and find some rest, but still I have that side ache from breathing. Doing anything, and I do mean anything, sets me back. I am fighting the pain, fighting for air, and become more exhausted every time.

The grass has simply sprung up. I need to cut it soon, today really. I can't. I am hoping, by putting it on the planner for tomorrow, that I will work up whatever it will take to begin mowing. I hope I simply don't keel over while doing it. I will be keeping my phone handy in case I run out of breath and can't catch it again. While I might not be able to talk, dialing 911 and not talking would be good enough. Or, as good as it gets. If things go better, I will need breaks tomorrow. During those breaks I can try to have my call list planned out.

It is already too late today to do much of what I had hoped to do. I can begin researching a few things, prepping for calls for when I can make them. A list of who to call, set forth in some sort of logical order, should see me ready when I can be awake and ready at a time that is reasonable. I can't quit but I do have to understand that my already smaller capacity has been further limited. Over, around, through is the idea. I use the idea as I am able.

It is so odd though. In spite of the side ache and continued and increased exhaustion, everything else has sort of cleared up. Headaches and shoulder and back aches are gone. Sleeping, while difficult to achieve and escape, is pleasant and restful. Concentration is in decent order, if not better it is also not worse (usually). I suddenly have a green light but no way to move forward. Better one problem, or set of them, at a time though. In some ways I guess I can't complain.

Well, on to... something. I did get the trash out last night. I did clean the cat litter. If not grand it is more than I thought might get done. Good day.