A permanent kink in my back?

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I don't know for sure, yet! Never mind. I really didn't want to sweep and mop. Why? I don't know why. Because, I suppose. And I kept stalling. Finally, though, I got to it. Because of the layout, the extra bathroom and the laundry room have to be done last, but my bathroom and the kitchen has been mopped. Or at least, the way I did it. When what has been mopped is dry I will get those last two spots. I don't think the last bathroom will be much to clean, so it might get done tonight, after mopping. I found another rug Sam had stained, so I put both rugs in the wash. They should be done, so after things dry and before I wet the remaining floors, I will put the rugs in the drier. But that kink keeps coming back. Oh well. It could be worse.

Oh, I know. This must be boring to read. But I tell you it is a minor miracle. I am taking as much medication as I can which still allows me to function, but just barely. And, like the earlier part of this summer, I am back at it. It isn't quite as good as it was then, but that is fine. I have a lot more control this time. I have even been able to maintain my celibacy. That was tested, but after learning control and watching as this change came to be I was able to do just the right things at the right times. I have completely cleaned my house, done my dishes, gotten caught up on laundry. I am showering regularly, going out more often, shopping rightly, and taking care of myself. I have caught up on old promises, old tasks, and some recent things. Further, now that I am caught up, I am going to make every effort to stay on top of things. It's a lot easier to do things as I go. I simply haven't had that option until possibly now.

The question is, once I am caught up, and staying on top of things, what next? That will certainly not fill my time. Especially as, while I learn to work again, I become exceedingly more efficient. I can't really afford to do much. I suppose, if I got the chronograph, I could do more shooting practice, often on my own. That is, actually, a minor work out... shooting that is. I can try to get out for a walk or hike, even in the winter so long as it isn't icy. I don't know though, I need some kind of real hobby. I am trying to get away from computer games, they bring no real profit to either my skill set, intellect, or... anything. What to do??? I do know I would like to start adding stretches to my daily routines. That's free. But it doesn't take much time. I feel the need to limber up, I'm tired of being cramped in my own body. I don't know, I will think about it.

After the dust settles on bills and such, I want to reconsider my options. I had meant to stock up on long term foods, and maybe some short term supplies. When I see what kind of money I have, I may go gangbusters into that. While a cwp is still in the works, as I see things, if I get it back this time I won't have to worry about rushing purchases. I won't be worried. Either that or I simply won't get it back, at which time I will no longer need to worry about saving for those guns. I am pretty sure I have my last sheriff, my mother, and a couple of friends who will vouch for me. My mother is, I think, the most important. Having had her husband kill himself, she heard the shot and found the body, he wasn't dead right away. She isn't about to lose me that way, whether I live close or am all the way out here. I will have her write about her ordeal, her earlier worries with me, and that she now feels secure with me having firearms. She wouldn't do that if she didn't trust me implicitly. She has already done that once, which allowed me to get my permit to buy handguns. Then again I have a .45 and .22 pistol, an AK-47, a shotgun, and two .22 rifles. If I was up to no good I don't really need more. I do need a hunting rifle and I would like a better main battle rifle. And, if I am going to conceal, it would be good to have more options that way. Yes, yes, just humor me.

Time to check the floors. Tomorrow I will be finishing anything left from today, picking up on the cwp follow-up, trying to call my friend to see if Monday would be good for a trip to Ogden, and maybe into town to see him, maybe go shooting, and to find tile and grout cleaner while picking up my dry cleaning. It all ties together, work creates work. But too I can now see that it really all can get done! Further, as I buy the things needed, I don't need to buy them next time. Why it is so easy right now I can't tell you. Hmm, actually, it isn't easy. And I really don't want to do some of it some of the time. So, why can I do it now? Just the right medicines? I have to suspect that is exactly it. I do wonder, if they had checked and found the heart condition twenty years ago what my life would be like now. Regrets.

Good night.