The night before Christmas?

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Time flies when you can't think. Never mind. I am rather at peace with Christmas this year. There have been a Christmas or dozen that were not filled with so much cheer. Sometimes I choked on self pity, it happens. Sometimes there was a sense of lonesomeness that would not be undone no matter how many were around, how close those people were, or what. And sometimes I drowned in the activities. A party here, a meal there, presents to be opened here, there, and yonder as well.

Mostly Christmas has been a time to escape the doings of the world. The thing that bothers me is that, often, with people, there is prejudice. Political, religious, personal, private, for good reason and for no reason, people just can't let go. I often wonder if one of the key things Christ wanted to teach was to simply let go. To honestly love the ones closest to us. Don't choose one of your own over someone else, choose the right one. Don't choose yourself over one of your own, choose the right one. Find the fundamental truths, understand them, and use them to guide you in all things. The more reason to crucify Him, by a worldly host of men, not knowing this would be the undoing of petty, selfish, self-vested notions. No, I am not saying that was Jesus's purpose, He came to save. But He taught for a bit before He returned to where He belonged. And this is what I speak of, His teaching.

When I find myself straying, and realize it, I try to look to Christ. While He is God, He also claimed me, by proxy, as friend and even kin. I know of little, truly, of God. I cannot comprehend what my mind was not meant to understand. But Christ, as a man too, I can see arms, legs, a torso and head. I read words uttered past his tongue. I know where He lived, where He went, what He did. And I am satisfied with Him, as Savior, King, Prophet, Friend, Kin, Adviser, and as One who knows what my "sandles" feel like to wear and use, in the full multiplicity of that last notion. Not all His choices, of course, are for me. Nor are all His duties completed here. So I cannot say fully that I know what He wants of me, only that I understand enough to know the path I must take. My point is, while I know He is God, I know too He was Flesh, Man, Friend, and Kin. And, to the exact point, He is worth... abiding.

Whether He was born, 'xactly, on December 25th I neither know nor worry. That I have let others concern themselves with the matter is enough, and this is what they have said. So be it. There will always be naysayers. Some say it was a different day! Some say there is no day as He never existed. There are some who still insist the world is flat or that men did not land on the moon (my grandfather believed the latter, to much cheer and endearment). Distractions abound if you choose to find them. As with many things, just look to God and these things fade into the irrelevance they deserve. No, it isn't about the exact day, if with faith there is no doubt He was born, it is just about remembering what the day is about. It is about the birth of the only true King men will ever find worthy of bowing for, to.

This is a great Christmas for me, personally. At ease with the approach, even on my own in a strange land. I am in my home, the first I have ever known. I am among people who are peaceful and have graces, some unique to them. I have two animal friends who seem to enjoy me as much as I enjoy them. I am slowly learning to live, to use my medicines to my advantage and function. I have finally begun partaking in worship and fellowship in my Church. I even have enough left over to share with others, bits and pieces of what I have and am. I have taken as much reasonable control of my life as I can, with Christian, Catholic, guidelines to follow. Life is so very good, the frustrations simply things to work with. I would never have believed such a thing could be.

Christmas, for my part, is every day. As is Easter. And yet neither is true without the darkest of days. But to see the greatest sin of men turned into the finally victory for God is to see debris woven with the finest materials into a tapestry of hope, faith, and charity. It is a good Christmas. Without being able to afford ornaments, let alone a tree. Without many gifts under the tree that isn't here. Without people all around. Without even the realization that Christmas day snuck up on me. It is a very good Christmas. How little we really need. I best be off to Mass.

Merry Christmas, should I not post tomorrow. I have some prayers to say. I believe it will be a day of prayers.