No dice.

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In spite of my troubles I set the alarms, and set in my mind, to wake early this morning. The goal was 10:00 Mass. I think I finally rolled out of bed somewhere in around noon. Decidedly after but I am not sure how far after. I had thought about rolling around the clock by staying up all night but I don't have the reserves for that. I will make it to Mass this evening. I have been keeping the Sabbath lately and I mean to keep it that way. My goal is making a Sunday morning Mass, at least several times a month though. It'll happen.

I don't remember dreaming at all last night and the bed doesn't look like bison trekked through it. I am not sure if the perceived troubles are related to the dreams. I can see how they would be. I can also see how they might be totally unrelated. Just because something makes common sense doesn't mean it is correct. Common sense is more sure than science these days but it was never an absolute sure thing.

I am still exhausted. I realize I have been eating very little. I need to fix that, but how? If your body just doesn't feel like food it is difficult to put it in sometimes. Maybe start with smaller bits for meals. Whatever else is going on I do think it is time for a checkup. When I call I will ask if they will do a complete blood check-up, adding in those supplements I am taking. I want to make sure I am not inadvertently overdosing. I also want to make sure I am taking sufficient amounts. When you flood out like I have been, sometimes those vitamins simply don't have time to be absorbed.

Over at Helen's I saw a neat magazine type thing for tinkerers. If you are a typical man/boy, it might be interesting. Even if you have a thousand and one ongoing projects, I almost have to think there might be ideas which could work with those projects. I haven't looked too deeply into them yet, it just looks to have some potential. I don't, therefore, know how practical the projects are, how high end or silly they might be. Some people spend all their available income on things that I certainly wouldn't consider undertaking. Just as some men spend all their money on guns, reloading a dozen calibers, and making a .22 shoot ragged holes at a hundred yards. Still, I have to think that the ideas therein might be worth the risk of the cost of the magazine.

Ugh, if I can just wake up! My awake time has been dim and my sleep has been weak. I can't seem to fully get into either gear. I am sleeping regular, or more, hours. I just can't... I feel like I am running through a swamp. Why can't they just figure out how to give us tuneups? New plugs, an oil change, change the filters, retool the transmission and change that fluid. Yeah. I do worry, perhaps, that the problem with some in the group is me. Am I tainted beyond hope? Then again, I am positive that I am getting put down by a few of those guys. But could that just be how I present or do they read here, or does my reputation precede me in some other way, rightly or wrongly on any or all of that? I don't know. I will deal with it openly and honestly though.

Have a great day!