It seems so easy.

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I probably won't make Mass again today. I have to be out of the house, I promised my friend. I meant to be... further along here at home too. I ran out of steam somewhere along the line and... that was that. More was done though. And I think I will kick out dishes before I leave. I made a mistake, I had not taken care of all the backlog of clothes. I found a couple more piles. Must have still been pretty asleep when I assessed my progress earlier. Never mind that, I got to it.

Why this is so complicated? I know and it still baffles me. No reason to get angry, I have learned patience with myself. To know what I can do, at my best, is amazing. That I can only be at my best, now, for moments in a month, is frustrating. I am amazed, to a degree, that I can blog, coherently (I think?). I even do it regularly. Then again, blogging, writing, requires nearly zero energy. Energy seems to be a defining thing. The limiting factor. There is the thought processing, but this goes on with me whether I remember it or am aware of it or not. The language skills are a once-learned thing and I learned them well enough. I just wish I could do more of life like I blog.

I had a lunch. Canned chicken and noodle soup didn't sound all that appetizing but it ended up being quite good. It was too salty, way too salty, of course. Other than that, it really was tasty. And warming. I wanted something to warm my insides and that worked. I am trying to eat more. I had almost literally stopped eating. I simply forgot food, and with the dishes there, I didn't want to add to the pile. There aren't that many dishes, my last push saw to most of them being done. It is just that I didn't want to lose ground. Since I can only seem, at times, to concentrate on one area/thing at a time, concentrating on not adding to the dishes until I finished them precluded cooking, and for the most part eating. That is how my odd little world works. One thing at a time. Almost obsessive compulsive, but based on no energy rather than obsession or compulsion. Including a lack of energy to find a way around a problem, at times.

Still, it's sort of a neat little world. A Mad Hatter world. He had his place, I suppose I have mine. Later.