Easily mistaken.

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The way I write and the vids, music, and lyrics I present could easily allow some to think, perhaps, that I am a hidden monster.  And, while that is true, it isn't true in the way it might appear on the surface.  No man, or woman, need fear, lest they present me with what they shouldn't.  Unwarranted violence, love that is not ripe, these things have lead me down some... questionable roads.  But it isn't who I am or even truly what I have sought, only the facts of life for those who travel without purpose or warrant.


Women should fear, but not me.  Any woman who wishes to know what to fear regarding me needs only look deeply into a mirror.  If she is safe there, she is safe with me.  As with all my kin, we cannot enter where we are not bidden.  But no, that is not all.  It is not a fair game.  Even the sons of Adam, should they think just a bit, know the ruse.  Men can choose.  Women?  Really?  Don't answer me, and don't base it on the sanctity of your relationship, or the strength from it.  Answer that question as if you were a stranger to all, and alone.  Really?

For my part, I had to choose to not allow a woman to default into where she will naturally go.  For my sake, and hers.  She, all of them, are my sisters, daughters, mothers.  Even as a bastard of flesh and spirit, a woman most surely made me kin through her blood.  As the moon to the earth and the earth to the sun, women gravitate to strength.  As with the woman who touched Jesus for healing, women seek warmth and strength.  Love for all is something that is found in the relationship, it is hoped, but in time.  Up front are passions.  We are a desperate hungry people.  We want what we want, and will trade for it, but we do not always understand the important things until... later.  The magic, for me, now, is to find my way to passions without giving in to them up front.  Switchblade tricky.

Such an odd thing, love.  There are so many flavors of it.  But only one is fulfilling for the duration.  Unlike the carnal, there is no scent.  Unlike the familial, there is no tradition.  Unlike the neighborly, there are no mutual understandings.  So delicate and yet so strong.  No force of flesh is greater.  Only heaven knows it better.  Even hell isn't absent of it, the desecrations are used in an attempt to keep love at bay.  Much as atheists, they protest a bit too much methinks.

As God to men, so men to women.  Women to submit, as unto the Lord.  Men to love as Christ did unto the Church.  So much anger to deal with.  A woman enjoys being constrained as much as a man does.  Time is filled with chaos from the echoes of ten trillion thoughts and alternate solutions, few of which will lead to success.  Many of which are unkind and unwise.  Forgiveness, I suppose.  Faith, to be sure.  Hope, always.  Charity, or love really, ultimately and as the cornerstones.  But to make it through those... moments of sheer terror?  Lord God, do help us.  And... God, forgive me for... enjoying these moments so!

So, yes.  I have been a beast.  Still am in part.  Perhaps I am not even a son of Adam, but a son of the sons of man, and a woman of line of Eve albeit.  Once the call was heard, and the chase lead to capture, cultivation, and transformation, none of that mattered.  Forgiveness.  Started with Father.  It didn't end there.  Yes, she is out there.  Just... to make sure she can handle a man like few others.  Not better, not worse, just a bit more... potent.  Not for my sake do I seek a strong woman.  For hers.  My children will be potent as well, perhaps true giants.  Ugh!


So, fear me?  Women?  Yes.  Truly like never before.