Gah!

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People are coming more unglued than I am.  A comment there, an email there, a phone call or two, a visit.  I am fine, I just can't feel.  And when I can't feel keeping my shit in the sock where it is supposed to be kept, if it is even supposed to be believed in the first place... becomes unmanageable.  I can still think, I just can't... like a dog that goes into the garden and digs, for some unknown reason, I do that.  Not supposed to, can't help myself.  And the gate was open.  Same reason, bones.  Real or imagined matters little.

Still feeling it, or... not feeling it as might more appropriately be inferred.  I have something coming up... tomorrow, I think I heard.  My mother called a neighbor who paid a visit.  He had me call her on his phone since mine is still dead.  Something I will try to amend tonight if I can get to it.  She wasn't there, but was worried enough that she gave the phone to a mutual acquaintance so she could do an auditory check.  Hate that sort of thing.  Yeah, I knew it was coming.  Tried to call on my dead cell but it just wouldn't work, couldn't get out, so...  Yeah.

I am fine.  Seriously.  Even health wise.  Just... let me lay here a bit longer, catch my breath, figure things out, get back into order.  You guys kill me.  I go through this every three to six months, and have stayed in this condition for as long as a year.  Yeah, I have been getting better.  And I am.  I can still POST!  And comment, email, and call if I could figure out a charger.  I AM better.  Much.  I wish I could have had half this attention when I was in long term hell, though maybe I did.  Not sure I could be reached... catatonia, don't you know.  Never the mind, just... letting you know not to try to bury me or worry about me doing something silly.  One would make me grumpy, the other just isn't who, and never has been who, I am.

How about a bit more music though.  A little... easier to take, give or take, if I think it's six of one half a baker's dozen of the other.  Well, and possibly understanding with one of the pieces.  Gee, guys, relax.  Take a chill pill... maybe not.  Doesn't seem to help much.  Just understand I have lived this way for... so very long.  I suppose I just couldn't express it, you didn't know.  This is... somewhat normal, and a lighter dose, really.  Relax.  Consider it a lesson in patience and endurance?




Now, take a deep breath.  Exhale.  Again.  Repeat as necessary.  Good, you... are getting the hang of this.

Later.