.
.
Time and space are fuzzy elements. I am lost in them, somewhere. Irrelevant, really. I can't feel enough to feel bad about it. I have my thoughts, memories, and various thought toys and sources of psychic stimulation. Physical applications, even gaming, are somewhat difficult. The concentration to focus on applying forces and manipulating things I can touch just doesn't last. Riding waves of nothingness. I am well and truly, for the moment, accidentally transcendental, again.
I have an event coming up Friday, and would like to do some other things such as shop for a new power cord for my cellphone. Who knows though. It just isn't there. Nothing is. At least I feel great, what of life I can feel. It's more a state of existence than life, but it is quite pain free, concern free, and easy. Not really my thing though, so I need to start looking for the door out of this place. Comfort kills. I'm not ready, it isn't quite my time, so... But for now... Ugh.
I have been doing very little things, here and there. I think I found the cord that attaches the camera to the computer. But there is much to ponder before I... do that. When lost do not try to speed your way to being found, it just wears you out and is rarely, if ever, successful. Slow down. Take a breath. Find some food maybe. Make yourself comfortable. Then... think.
Later.
Are you on at least limited doses of your meds again yet?
ReplyDeleteSounds too much like dying to me...
You know I am going to be a real bitch about your meds if we do this again.
ReplyDelete"You know I am going to be a real bitch about your meds if we do this again." Yes, mother.
ReplyDeleteI have to be honest, this really isn't meds. I go through this, from time to time, no matter what. And if I pull out all stops, say when my *cough* other *cough* mother stops in, I eventually go down this hard. Remember, I was extremely active. I was as unusually active, and in heat, as you were unusually social. Plus I pulled three 24+ hour hauls in there, awake and active, at the least, packing and loading then driving at the most.
And, no, but, today I will be putting it together. As for memories, when my body isn't working, recall just happens more often. The dreaming is closer to the waking, triggers are everywhere, stretched out consciousness, and... without notice... I'm in twilight.