Just, sorting.

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A little bit of breath is coming back.  First I start in the mind.  It can be a bit tricky.  Some darkness lingers, but with a bit more life to it.  As I plan what to do first, physically, and here at home; how to get out and take care of a few things that need tended; and... just sorting life from other, I have been looking over music, thinking, and plotting.

I do love my music.  I do have some fond memories from the darker side.  Just as often as not, music finds me.  I can look all day and find nothing regarding what I thought I wanted or find it before I knew I was even looking for it.  I assume there is some reason in there for and to that all.  I simply don't pretend that logic is the end all, or that even if it is in some way, that I can access, control, maintain, or even understand it even when it stands before me and all but, or even literally does, flag me down in the hopes of catching it.  Being bright is only a potential.  A potential frought with blind spots, perils, and difficulties both personally and practically.  Never the who, just saying.

This song brings back the... better parts of... martial experiences.  There is a thrum to war that beats in the heart of almost every man.  Most never experience it.  It isn't the sum total, as should be obvious from reading here.  But it cannot be allayed, or discounted.  As well, I enjoy the music.  It reminds me of the first band to seduce me from Country and Western, so it gets extra Doom points.


And while I discuss my last in many ways, a point I have missed is exposed in this next song.  She was, of her own accord, a very organic woman.  Natural to the bone, she was.  She wasn't pagan, mind you, but bore the characteristics that might be seen in such a one.  Her natural attractiveness, raw sexual appeal, was... breathtaking.  I see this in other women, but it is a rare thing.  Most women, I think, hide it.  And for many reasons.  Perhaps, too, I only got to see this with her because we had bonded.  I simply don't know all things.  Just thoughts, questions, wonder... that is all I have to offer, with any certainty anyway, for my own part.


Hmm, on to other things, I do believe.  I did look for a song on another topic, very generally, but it was not to be found.  Hours where whittled away in the search.  It will find me when it is time to be shared.  Be well.

Later.