.
.
I have pushed it this morning. It hasn't started hurting or anything. But I am rather confused, and have been for a number of days. The inebriation of exhaustion can be exquisite. Not so much as a preferred thing, only in it's effects. While I can think back in here, speaking is too complicated to do well. I can't remember what I was about to say, what I did say, or what I was getting at. I have, for the most part, taken my medicines in spite of it. I have missed an evening or two, and a day in there. Catching up when I can, just leaving it go when too much time has passed. The difficulty is keeping the day correct. More so when I am not sure if my next sleep will last a few hours or many hours, or even if I will be awake for long or short periods. Well, and driving through the fog of an extended waking period, like now, means I lose all sense of things while I try to push through.
If today is Sunday, I have an appointment tomorrow. Early. I also have dinner coming tonight, which will be quite welcome. I have... fallen behind with the kitchen. I think, after the appointment, if I spoil myself with sleep as I seem to need it, I will be able to figure the kitchen back out. It isn't too rough, just a few pots and pans, some dishes, and a bit of washing and it will be ready for cooking again.
Now, I am not pushing so as to entertain a schedule. I am trying to adjust my odd schedule so as to make my appointment tomorrow. I hope it is Sunday. I can't find my cellphone. It knows. I have been checking the thing a dozen times a day but I can't... remember. Right now I simply can't find my phone. Oh, heck, when into one's excesses, even if not by design, it's difficult to even want to do anything about it.
A nap, I think. I have pushed enough that I might be able to figure out a path to the appointment tomorrow. If it is tomorrow. Oh, but when I do sleep as needed I am much more cognizant. There is that. Later.
IIT IS SUNDAY .. I really feel you need to start bringing your blood pressure down. When mine is up for extended periods of time, I am always exhausted .. plus, I have headaches.
ReplyDeleteI'm taking medicines pretty much as well and at as high of a dose as I can. I'm not quite ready for that higher dose. This is just a phase I have to go through. Compared to the pain, this is fantastic. Besides, if my blood pressure is in the 180/120 range now, I can only imagine what it MUST have been before restarting. Believe or else, but my bp averaged 210/160(or 180) for six months the last time I fell off. Took my mother being here to help get me back on meds that time.
ReplyDeleteFrustrating, come to think of it. Didn't hurt going back on... ah, but I might have zoned out much further even that time? I ought to look over the period.