No idea.

.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed.  It was shortly after that last post, but between this and that, I honestly can't tell, after publishing, when they system actually says it gets published.  I'll check with this post, and today.  The problem is, that has varied in the past.  I sort of lost track of following up on it, though I believe it has just changed from a one hour difference of time stamp to real time, to a two hour delay.  I tried to change my time code, but they knew where the input was from.  My guess is, when the governments wants the ability to shut off information, they are actually pretty good about it.  Too bad they can't try for honest governance with the same zeal.

In any case, I woke at nearly 1:00.  I simply couldn't stay asleep.  Dreams, I know that, but nothing that stuck.  I must admit, the dreams I have had, I have enjoyed, for the most part.  I am nearly certain that, even if some of the data was skewed, or more about possibility, that there was a great deal of memory involved in them.  The one I keep digging at is the one in Africa.  I'm trying to... place... some of that.  And, while I have associated with a group like that, and as a single milspec somehow in contact with such a group, I don't think we traveled together.  Or not, to any of it.  Dunno, but it's been on my mind.

I am feeling better, just not doing much better.  I have to figure this out.  I have a whole bunch of things that need tended.  Having all of the time in the world doesn't help if you can't get out of the chair.  At least I have gotten out of bed.  That took a lot of years.  I was in bed more than I am now even when I was in engineering school.  I am truly surprised that didn't kill me, given the true nature of my condition.  I don't think it would have been the physical part of it.  While that was brutal, my body seems to do what it can and if it runs a little too hard, to just shut it down as it needs.  But the mental stress.  Sleeping for a month, and waking with only a few days to prep for midterms or finals, barely being awake enough to take in the data, and long days and night of study.  Engineering school is perpetual cramming as is, toss in triple-dip cramming, and the pressure asserted for perfection, and... yeah.

But, actually, I enjoyed even that.  If it was my own money, and no worries about getting a job, I'd still be in school.  Though I think I would try to live on campus, somehow.  So that making it to class wouldn't require a drive over iced streets, and group studies would be easier to set up and attend.  Time is tight for engineering students.  A double degree in electrical and mechanical engineering, though a few others might be interesting, then a degree in either differential equations or calculus.  On to a masters in technology mathematics, while getting a degree in philosophy on the side.  And, finally, a ph.d. in the combined field of engineering.  Yeah, something like that.  Well, that would be the goal.  So, of course, sitting around is rather... harsh.  I might even, through that, seek sword training, the official training.  But, off the record, as usual.  Knowing I will probably never hold a job means I can't ask the VA to fund my romp, even at the lower levels, and I can't afford it.  And there would be no guarantee that I could make it.

I am feeling good, and rather awake.  I simply doubt if I will be awake all that long.  Four to six hours, perhaps, though I may be able to push through to 13:00 as I did today... before taking a nap until 17:00, closer to 18:00 actually.  Crazy sleep pattern and I have little control.  It isn't getting better, but there is no pain.  I'll keep working on it.