A nap was required.

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For the last three or four days, fairly often, I was going to bed late as I did last night, and waking up late.  The cool from showers, lack of sun, and pushing, were all shifting my schedule.  Not that I cared, so long as I was able to work when I woke.  While it might not seem as if I was hitting my targets.  I didn't have the kitchen absolutely finished when I had planned, or the living room, that isn't quite what it seems.  It wasn't so much that I was moving slow, it was that there was a lot more involved than initially calculated, and what work was involved was... being the first time I did such as a project, underestimated in it's magnitude.  I pushed, a couple of nights, right on into the morning to finish things.  Well, and how much time... floors, whether mopped or steam cleaned, need to dry... and other such... really through off my notions.  Anyway, my day has been shifting.

I have held up surprisingly well through most of the gloom this spring.  Too busy to notice, often, unless it caused trouble for an exact task or play event.  Even then, I merely rerouted my efforts for one thing into another.  It has hit me a few times, usually after a major push, while I have been on the downswing from that, and on a rest day.  I think, actually, what woke me so early was simply the sun.  It went under, at least partly, within the hour... but did green up the alfalfa a bit, and beside waking me, offered me a bit of cheer.  It is coming out now, again, perhaps just for a bit?  Still, that morning wake shook up my recent schedule.  A nap was necessary.  I knew that after having been awake just an hour, but I pushed it until past 11:00.

I dreamed, in the nap, of a time when I was a child.  Some farm, probably near Dickens, Iowa, if I had to guess.  Before... almost anything.  I was probably about three, in the dream.  There were no people in the dream, including myself.  There was not action, save viewing the world.  I know it was me, the viewer had my psychic fingerprint.  It was a seemingly cool, relatively (for Iowa) dry, late morning or early afternoon, probably in early summer.  Must have rained recently to cool the place off as it felt, but not so recently that humidity lingered.  I don't know if I was sitting in a chair, or on a hammock or maybe a trampoline.  I just know I was comfortable, resting nicely, no stress strain or wounds.  I was looking up, into the sky.  Watching the cottonseed trees off in the distance, and big, huge really, billowing white clouds drift by.  No threat from the clouds, of rain.  Just shade.  I don't know how long the dream went on, but it seemed most of the (in dream) morning to before it started getting dark, before we were called in for supper too.


While still asleep, after the dream, but because of the dream, I thought perhaps I had died.  I've been dead before.  And while I don't remember much, save an oddity from one of the times, seeing that reminded me of something I must have seen before.  One or all of the times I cannot say.  But I thought there was a chance I would never be waking up again.  I was almost sure of it.  But this was not a bad thing.  Odd.  When I did wake, I felt as if I had well overslept my intentions of a nap.  My internal clock suggested that it must be near dinnertime, or later?  Gone so long, it seemed.  Actually, I woke exactly as with my best naps, right at two hours after going in to sleep.  A strange turn of events.  Odd all the way around.  Something I won't be able to put into words well, so will leave with just the simple journal type entry.

A little coffee, and waking time, then I'll hit the dishes, perhaps sweep the kitchen and adjacent areas.  There is still some furniture still out there, as I haven't finished deciding what to put where quite yet.  But I can get most of it.  I cleaned the bathroom a bit... a day or two ago, between this and that, at least a bit.  So, with dishes, I'll do a minor hit on the kitchen.  Just a touch.  But first, I need to wake and... take strides back into the fact that I am still alive, for sure.