Not so good this morning.

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Morning?  Well, when I wake up, I call that morning.  It's a submariner thing too, you know?  Even with the ac on, yeah I still need that, I had blown off so much heat and burned the oxygen out of the room, that for a start I woke with a slight headache.  There should be enough air flow in my room, and usually that is true.  Sometimes, like last night, I must eat oxygen like an old train boiler ate coal.  And with the similar result of  creating massive amounts of heat and steam.  It was sweltering in there, when I woke, with the ac set on 62 and an large fan running at top speed as well.  Anacin, I do believe.

I have been doing very small little jobs, besides what I have told.  Sometimes for their own reasons, sometimes in conjunction with other things.  Like beginning to clear the kitchen in order to find the glucose tester.  I've been looking for a while.  If I can't find it soon, I may have to buy a few.  Walmart sells them, 50 tests for $20.  I could ask the V.A., but I am not sure...  First they sent me strips, but without a device that allowed it to read, then I asked and they sent strips with them, but now I can't find the device.  Their fault, my fault, no one's fault... enough failures and I just back off and try a different way.  At least they didn't call me a liar this last mistake time.  Tired, this doesn't help.  Oh, I am sure they try.  As do I.  For what, sometimes, it is worth.

My doc called tod... yest... Friday.  My blood sugar was at 560(ish), but the a1c was at 9.5(ish), which means my three month average was in the 230~50 range (which actually means lower before I cut back, given as high as it is and has been since I halved insulin).  He also suggested my cholesterol is high, but that may be a dysfunction of such high blood sugars.  Well, know he might believe my tall tale of having had 600< blood sugars for over six months on several occasions.  Anyway, even if cholesterol is a problem I will not medicate that.  Medication, for that, from all I have read, is worse than the disease.  I don't believe doctors on all things, that is one where they have it wrong.  I hope it comes down, so he doesn't nag, but I won't take poison to fix something that seems to be... unfixable.  Set up an appointment next month.

I have been pining to get to town for some shopping for a bit.  I sort of gave up on that for a while.  Increasing insulin is brutal, sometimes.  Even when it makes things better, like the last few days, there isn't much to work with.  Simply little energy.  Still, things, even when rough, are improved.  There are two types of crashing in my life.  Crashing out of, and into, health.  Both hurt.  Both take time.  I have learned to know which way I am headed, even if I can't do much about it, or the speed of it, or such.  I am crashing into health.  I probably should have raised insulin more slowly.  Then again, that just stretches out the agony, when there is pain.  This time there is, sometimes, lots of it.  I am getting breathers, from time to time.  All good.  It really does make the bad days more tolerable.

On to something or other, and waking.  Later.