Crazy sleep.

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I can't say why.  I can only say that for the last few days my sleep has been so unusual that I couldn't really carry on with any kind of regular life.  Two hours, give or take, up and down.  When I was awake I was just barely awake.  Only awake because I couldn't quite sleep.  A day, two, three?  I know it wasn't that bad to begin with, but it was heading that way.  I suspect, to be honest, that fall weather has more to do with it.  Though, perhaps, stress dealing with medication and medical care, or the lack of it, added to it.  I simply wasn't sure what was going to happen, when, or how.

Not knowing is worse than realizing it is about to get really bad.  I've know bad times quite well.  Even realizing they are going to try to murder you by denying medicine is easier to take than not being sure about it.  What doesn't make sense is I am saving them money by seeing my own doctor.  I suppose they want to make sure any doctor I see is sufficiently incompetent for their grading system.  Further, I doubt if there are V.A. employees who make less than even 100% disabled vets.  That hospital isn't about us, it's about them.

As well, I realize my unorthodox method of treating diabetes might be worth pursuing further.  I become "well" once, regarding diabetes through that method, some years ago.  It's a tenuous cure, not sure, but seems to work from time to time.  It's all about bringing down the numbers, not methods, is it?  If so, that method I just used, which was quite successful before, might be the way to go.  It's a lot cheaper than insulin, that's for sure.  If, this time, I monitor through various foods and my odd technique, I might clean up well enough.  Time will tell.  If I can get the numbers down, I may then begin seeing a doctor.  With the numbers down he won't be able to say much.  Just a maybe.

If it all starts going really down hill I will stop blogging.  I won't be sharing that part of my life anymore.

I did dream about getting my home cleaned and in order.  I don't know if it is possible.  The dream sure seemed real though.  I will want to clean and clear whether I end up staying or being forced out.  And I just want it.  Later.