Ugh.

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Beat up a bit, a little hot, but feeling just a bit better.  Getting meds straight helps a bit.  Not saying I am exactly there.  Sleep is still a bit crazy.  I suppose just doing my best is helping.  Perhaps not worrying quite as much about whether medicine will arrive or not helps.  Stress, at least when I am in rough shape, can pound me more than I thought.  Then again, getting ready to face the torturous pain of cutting medicines down...  Oh, yeah, that... especially since I just went through a smaller portion of it, will... cause problems.  Still, feeling much better.

Oh, and it has, finally, started too really cool off as fall settles in.  I wasn't sure whether to let it stay really cool or to heat things up.  That will always be a bit of a trick.  Some of it being mood, some of it health, related.  After trying 66, then 72, I have settled on 68.  For now.

Oh, last "night", sometime, I went looking for information as to putting the components together.  There wasn't as much specific as I had hoped.  I don't think I was able to find any two components put together.  I saw reviews, general tips, standard practices, and such.  I will try to be, when the time comes, in enough focus to read the instructions.  Some things, generally, will be quite simple.  Adding the ram, for example.  Some things will be very involved, at least to do it right.  The motherboard connects to everything else, and may need to be fiddled with a bit as well.  Then there is the burning in time, testing, and perhaps overclocking.  That, in itself, is an involved, if not too complicated, procedure.  A risky one, too.  You can eat your machine, or blow it in a single bad, and for nominal gains.  If I do it, I will do one small area of oc'ing at a time, and I won't go very deeply into it.  Mostly I just want to understand the process.  As with water cooling, I don't really trust those technologies.  One leads to instability, sometimes even if done correctly.  The other is just a high maintenance questionable tech.  Water, like women, the weather, and some other things, can't be controlled in the way a man would natively think.  Water, over time, will always win.  Just as a woman, when she is within the paradigm, will eventually, often, win.  Just... know these things.  *wink*  (I didn't say like, I said know. :p )
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I had two dreams last night.  The first, again, dealt with cleaning the cave.  I won't go into detail.  It was me doing it, a bit at a time, little things here, little things there, a big effort from time to time.  Again, it seemed so very real.  When I woke, I began working on some dressers drawers.  I may finish the dresser shortly.  I am going to begin packing clothes away that I don't wear.  I will wash them, fold them, and for now put them away... box them away.  If I end up moving I will give those to a charity.  Some are quite good, pretty much new.  I have only been on my feet enough this last year, minus recently, to return items.  So I have clothes that were too small or too large, a few anyway.  Oh, yes, but the dream was so good.  You have no idea how good it is to living a tidy home until you don't... assuming you like that sort of thing.  Worse when you fall, fail, and can't really do much.  I am thinking about that, too, though.  There might be a way.  As I said, I won't bore you with details.  Just think whole house down to the nubs.  Wonderful.
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The other dream was very short.  I was at an atm, in some sort of dining area... a fast food restaurant or in the food court at a mall, getting my card out, when a young man saw me getting my card out and just ripped past me.  Furious.  I grabbed him by the neck and shoved/lifted him, and just floated him over into an empty of people dead end in the seating area.  I was just about to beat him to a pulp.  I pulled back but... let it go, then let him go.  I went over, got back in line, and suggested he just go on with his transaction.

He approached, himself now enraged, and about to sputter and hiss.  I looked him right in the eyes and suggested he not do that.  I told him I was doing what I was doing, not because I was wrong, certainly not because he was right, but because I wasn't sure about my reaction.  So I suggested he not push it.  Further, I told him that, if my reactions are right, and people come to their senses and begin reacting that way in order to rebuild society, if he can't handle one old guy with a seriously bum heart and diabetes out the roof, he wouldn't stand a chance against a realigning society.  so I told him that he better get ahold of himself, not be and emotional and wrongful man, and to think about what is coming.  No one cares about evil people, people who choose stupid or evil or selfish as a means to their ends at the cost of others.

I let him know, that if that was too much, he may begin the fight.  He started to cry, like a girl.  Then he tried to leave.  That's when I said, "NO!".  I would not let him leave.  I forced him to live with the shame and anger and all else.  No, after giving him the place, I would not allow him to abandon it.  He surely thought about attempting and escape but realized, for as bad of shape I am in, he had no chance.  So, tearfully and whimpering, he finished his transaction, leaving without a word or backward look.  I might not have raised any of my children, but I do have eyes in the back of my head anywise.
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I'm not sure what will happen "today".  A shower, then I'll think on some things.  Laundry, a few other tasks.  I hope.  Later.