Never can be sure.

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I didn't get on to the dishes.  I did one load of laundry through.  It's in the dryer.  I had hoped to push another load through but that simply, obviously, didn't work.  So I wore a different coat.  No bath and shower, but I did get a extra long shower in, extra hot, scrubbed thrice not the usual twice, and better even so.  I always fear that I will smell funny when going out into public.  And, perhaps I do.  People don't like telling mostly dead people that we stink.

I braided my hair.  I suppose I could have skipped that, but my hair is in one of those in between stages where it isn't one thing or another.  Braiding is as good as I could think to do.  It might not look that much better, but it is more kempt.  I simply haven't been getting out, or been able to schedule events.  I was quite lucky to have been able to push through.  I simply didn't want to miss both events.  Didn't want to miss the other.  But I am just into staying up into early evening, and wasn't able to stay up late enough that day.  Next month, I hope.

It was good to see some of the men and their wives.  I know some of them really don't like me.  That's the way it goes.  I'm not too worried about that.  I can only do what I can do, even if I talk a mean game.  And, yeah, that isn't enough for some.  Well, and I certainly have my flaws.  And, of course, there is just... bad chemistry, I suppose.  I don't worry too much about that.  I don't even really share it back.  If I am in the wrong on something they have an obligation to correct.  I don't mind.  Of course I'd naturally resist.  But if they show me it's wrong and call me on it, and they are right, I would eventually accept, apologize perhaps, seek more.  Though I don't know what any actual problem is for another.  I can't bridge that.

Still, it was good.  I don't know what is what, exactly.  But there were many I was pleased to see.  And it was good to be out.  Like the sick kid, who gets to go out to recess when he is better.  Hmm, and it might be a beginning to get me back to church, even once in a while.  I need reconciliation, maybe tomorrow.  I have been trying to get the process down, but, if I can make it, I might just... run and gun and do the best I can.  If, as I suggest, I can make it.  I don't know about staying for mass.  Even the middling crowd of this evening was a bit much.  It's been six months of no recess, mind you.  I'm not used to people, even when they are somewhat familiar.  Weekday Masses are probably the way to start.  Though, who knows.  If, if, if.  I'll add this to my prayer request.  It's pretty much all I ask for, save one other prayer.

I did stop to shop on the way back home.  I missed a bunch of things.  If I can get out tomorrow, I'll try to finish the list... if I can remember what I forgot.  Yeah, late.  Good night.