Sleep!

.
.
I've been tired for a while, again.  The heat, the fasting, the frustration with insulin which just read at 177, did I mention the heat?  It's not blister hot.  In the cave it is about 80 at the hottest part of the day now and can be taken down to 72 to 76 at night.  That, to me, at times in my life, would have been way too hot.  Whether it is the fasting or what I am eating, those temps simply don't matter on a daily basis.  Heck, stepping out into 95 isn't too bad.  I can even walk in it, short distances, without it really having any effect.  And, now, when I have had to shop in full sun, it just... I don't get a burn going.  I heat up just a bit, but just that bit.  And I cool much more quickly.

However, day over day, day after day, and as with everyone else, it wears on me.  Even so I could not sleep well, not extra sleep as I seemed to need.  Come to think of it, I probably haven't been getting enough sleep.  Too hot.  Often only sleeping four to six hours... I think.  It would be great to keep a sleep log.  I know I could start such, but it would be forgotten quickly.  There are so many things in life I can't keep up with, adding something else to the list just doesn't seem wise.  Other than curiosity, I'm not sure it would help all that much.  Would it allow me to change things?  Dubious on that notion.  Yeah, but I seem to be sleeping less.  In any case I have been needing and/or wanting more sleep.

Today I figured it out.  Or more decided to do it and did what it took.  Air conditioning.  No, I haven't been using that daily, even for sleep.  From time to time, rarely at night.  Rarely on any particular day.  I simply haven't needed it.  To get more sleep, though, it was needed.  It was perfect for it.  I got a nap in the early morning, though needed more.  A few hours after that I got in another good plug.  Then, this afternoon, I went down again, hard and long.  I don't think I have slept a full eight hours even once.  Which is probably what my body is craving.  I will try to stay awake a goodly bit then using ac again attempt an eight hour sleep.  My guess is, I have been more hitting five hour sleep cycles pretty regularly for a week or more, as an average.  That is catching up with me.

On the good sides?  I have gotten my leg, the water swelling, under control.  In part by controlling how much I drink total and how much at any one time.  I really can drink a large amount if I don't drink large amounts in one small portion of time.  I have to let it work it's way through.  Flow, not blow out, I guess.  Then my body can handle larger volumes.  Next I have learned to fast and without a mistake as to when to eat and not eat and keeping to that.  I do not believe I have eaten in a fasting period, if I have and often do fast in an eating period... because I don't need as much time to eat and I don't eat as much as I did in the beginning... by far.  And, whatever else, more slowly or quickly, I am losing weight.  Down to 251 last I checked.  While not the main goal, and honestly more a side issue, and knowing that getting down to a once almost mythical 240 will mean nothing now, today, tomorrow... I... I'll just let the weight deal with itself.  Down is fine, and it will go that way as is it's due.  But really, insulin and fitness to the level that is worth my time at my age is really where it is at.

On the other side, I have not figured out carbs, fats, and proteins... not exactly... not yet.  What I am lacking, I realize, is nutritional information on large amounts of food.  From fruits and nuts to veggies and meats.  All of the books with larger stores of nutritional information seem to mix good food with fast food with raw with all else.  So I will get more than I really need and it will... just... It will have to do.  I have a book just indexing food nutrition and a highly recommended one on type-2 diabetes.

More good than bad.  More success than seeming failure.  Everything is being modded and refit, rearranged, and tweaked.  It is still one great big experiment.  I can't seem to find the keys or buttons on some things, though I am sure they are in there somewhere, and will be put into play, and in the correct order, to get the treat the big Scientist in the sky meant to offer those who seek rightly.  The thing is, it's not a treat.  The treat is to self, and for living rightly.  It isn't for Him, or His, or us collectively.  It's more of an invitation... not to follow, to join.  And, so, I seek, more and more, right over my own grave innit.  Later.