Difficult last few mornings.

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If you hace ever been in fights, serious ones either against more than one, or seriously undersized, or both, perhaps against an opponent who brought a 2x4 or baseball bat to the gig?  Yeah.  Win lose or draw, you will hurt.  The whole forward plane of my abdomen, deep in, feels to have been worked with a 2x4.  The surface is fine, as it used to be.  Enough fights and muscle becomes nigh on immune.  There is no way to strengthen organs.  As well, it feels as if kidney shots, exactly on target, were landed.  Today is the worst of the last four days.  I stayed down an extra couple of hours today to no good effect.  The pain usually leaves in several hours, but has been leaving me exhausted when it goes.

One thing I need to remember, with fasting, is to eat enough during the eating time.  I didn't yesterday so incured a foul, eating a bit after the six hour zone.  Not a complete drop though, still all within the eight hour zone, which is good, just not preferred.  I need to thaw more meat to ensure I can keep up.  I might begin sourcing fresh eggs, to see if my egg problem is eggs or the rooster.  Foul I tell ya, boy, I say boy.

Dreams still at flood stage.  Memory is still fading almost immediately.  One part of one dream... told I was considered odd, a strange duck.  Laughed.  Of course, I said.  But?, I was asked.  Held out a mirror to all.  The room burst into laughter, some of it becoming tense, nervous, as the roar crescendoed and people started looking each other over too.  No, I do not need confirmation from others.  I fail, but my Lord... we work this out as best I am able on my part.  He does His part flawlessly, which takes up my slack.  All I can do right is to allow Him to do His work, even through my guilt.  Laugh as you will.  I'll join you.  I will also explain things, as if to children.  Never did I feel any attempt at a slight succeeded.  Nor did I intend a slight.  But it... is funny, as I see it.  If others exposed their thoughts, dreams, and all as freely as I do... you'd... understand fully.  Most people hide.  That alone makes me different, if in truth no more, probably less odd.  But few others even dare say what they really think.  Still chuckling.

The pain is easing.  Not sure if getting up will bring it back, so I will sit a bit, until time to feed the fluff-nuggets... cats to you.  Medicine though, I have it reset for the next month.  I think it has taken over as the main source of exhaustion, which is good.  As soon as I get that under control I might be okay.  Ugh but this life can be messy.  Hurry and wait, as if I was back in the Navy.

Good day.