Death.

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Not a concern, not an immediate risk, not pending or threatening or seen proximately, only the newest topic in my reading.  Of some concern to all, no doubt.  More so to those so busy winning, or having others win for them, doing their own thing, or otherwise not focused more steadily on the real long game, that of the soul.  I won't say I have no concern.  I am certain I have seen the final act, in as much person as possible.

I wasn't ready then, not quite.  I was at the line, but I knew I wasn't ready.  Others were there with me.  Terrible that fear.  Seeking the problem.  Even those who were ready, and then would go, did so casually.  Even then there was fear.  It is stepping away from life with death, surrendering sin, changing in unknowable ways.  I believe, if I am at that same line, I will truly simply step in.  Some need not make that step.  I hope more I am in that crowd.  Not from my efforts or recent successes, mind you.  Even if I sinned not even one more time, my just desert is complete and utter destruction.  Only my faith in God, in His sacrifice, will save me.  While I do remember the line, my faith is far greater than any fear.  So... death isn't, so much, a concern, incentive, or such.  It is merely a door I know will be there at least one more time, the only one leading to right grace.  It is a choice, I have chosen.

Still another several videos popped.  The one I suspecred seemed right.  I also found several videos on the rosary.  This, if I go there, will be the third attempt at the rosary.  It... takes fortitude, focus, and some... other things.  Bead chops, I have heard them called.  Would like to add them to my morning prayers, and say them when enangered or my feelings are hurt, and before otherwise reacting.  Yeah...  Never you worry, if I'm not sure even I always have that kind of time.  If the goal isn't perpetual prayer but behavior modification.  Though too, if one doesn't work the other is still a better option. I need to find one of my rosaries first.  Hopefully the one with much larger beads, if the smaller one's use does serve as penance.  If that gets going I will add the vids.

I best get food started.   I think I have been double fasting.  Don't want to go to far accidentally.  A few days is fine, but it needs to be a conscious, defined, thing.  Fasting is no longer a health thing, at least not in the majority.  It is a thing of faith.  Here is the video which satisfied my contemplation.


Later.