What brutal sleep.

.
.
When did it start.  I only know that getting to bed was difficult.  The body wanted sleep but it, we, or I, was stuck awake.  Sleep is deeper lately, or seems to be.  Sleep was good until I became stuck in it.  I woke solidly several times but would lose my grip.  Even now wakefulness is very tenuous, and painful.  The combination is definitely worse... pain pills, first thing.  Yes, bed made, prayerful planning, even if I end up back down.  Some days remind me of the river run.

The lungs, I think, are still sore.  As one begins attempting to solve a problem, other potential solutions arise.  The first change didn't fix it, but seems to be a good choice for other reasons.  The next option, I suspect, will fix the problem in time.  It didn't come about quickly, it won't become well quickly.  Perhaps, if I can add walking to my routine, that might help.  But in this cold?  Ah, and shoes...

I have ordered new dress shoes.  Even 13 in most of my footwear is way to big.  With 12's I can wear the heaviest of socks, even with a thinner second sock.  After I sort dress shoes I'll need to obtain regular shoes and boots.  I'll keep even the 14's, just in case.  Perhaps some 13's will still work.  Messy, but medicine is finally doing it's job.  Odd how, until the correct dose was given, and given time to work, it's as if my body was trying to drink itself to death.  Once the bodily flood was fixed, and a comparative drought was established, the thirst diminished to much less.  A gallon and just a bit more a day now. I feared my thirst was going to explode.

Everything is one step at a time.  Fasting, medicine and the right dose, shoes, clothes size, figuring those with money and sleep issues.  I've lost two pounds.  Given that water weight is controlled, all weight I lose will be real.  I must be careful about weight gain, as that might be purely water weight and require adjustments.  It is what I have and as good as I can do with it all.  I think prayerful planning and review will help a great deal.  I believe it has already done things I had come to honestly, in good faith, thought must simply be suffered, along with compunction... a word I still don't completely grok.  I truly wonder what else might be possible.  I will be looking for little opportunies to serve, ways that have nothing to do with me.  I... already have one potential, if I am afraid.  If you know me, you know fear is more a baited hook than a barrier.  Woe is me, I just hope I can make it work.  :p  Do need shoes that fit though, right ones for the tasks.  One. thing. at. a. time.  Amen.


Later.