Definitely staying warm.

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As a kid, before air conditioning, I wondered why adults stayed up so late.  Playing cards, pinochle or rarely rummy?  It's because adults hold onto heat, can't sleep well.  We couldn't always sleep either.  Unless we played or worked all day.  I suppose we understood why sleep was difficult in the moment, when that was the case.  It just doesn't follow through, in memory, to the present.  Not for me.

At a few past 2:30 it is still 77, if you round up from 76.8.  It is tough to get going.  I may just nap, with ac.  It is a rough night.  I am hungry, just can't get to cooking.  I may push through, if the tortillas are still good.  Good?  Useable.  Just how shelf stable are things these days?  Spooky.  But the green apples that stayed "good" for months scared me the most.  I finally threw them away out of creepy disgust.  Beef and bean burritos if those are good.

No, I am not upset about tonight.  I get it.  Wouldn't matter where I lived, or with, around, whom.  Maybe I looked rough as well?  People avoid those who look ill, dying.  I can't tell how I look.  I did shower and brush my teeth before going.  Something I wrote?  Recently, or further back.  If it were... it is not fixable if so, or it would have been brought up already.  Just a bit of a depressing realization.  I was born alone, mostly lived alone, and will die alone.  I should be used to it.  Sometimes I forget.

Well, I'll check the tortillas.  I am hungry.  Cheese and a dab of sour cream would be nice.  Maybe if shopping happens, for a later meal.  Later.