Better?

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I do believe so.  The crushing agony has mellowed to a soft warm envelopment of mild suffering.  If I don't think about any pain, it all becomes background noise.  If I think about any single thing, it can be a bit much.  And walking hurts.  Hands don't hurt to use, only if considered directly do they hurt.

It is a quarter to one.  I have been up a bit.  Kefir in, and tea.  Medicine going in, almost losing track of that with my days and nights doing flips and summersaults.  Still, so far, mostly, caught up.  Mostly.  I am thinking about eating something else, soon.  And with kefir.  Kefir, as a basis for other foods, really helps keep the inner worlds working as they should.  In so many ways.

I am hoping to get trash together and out, as well as litter.  Perhaps another shower.  If not, put dishes in to soak.  There aren't that many, but they are beginning to collect quickly.  Gloves... I need to find my gloves, so I can work with those while extremely hot and just get through them.  And, whether I start a load or not tonight, I would like to arrange laundry.

Little things, little bits of things.  A start, or restart.  Through the pain.  But I... hate what the place has fallen back into, the state.  I had it going so well for a while.  The fruits of today, getting most of the cardboard out.  That was the whole back of a truck full.  I have two more areas of those to clear, but that was two thirds of the boxes?  And they aren't just broken down, but now gone.

Still, a few things, tonight.  Maybe not all the way.  The pain might be a real limit tonight.  But, a start.  And, the start will get rid of some of the stink.  Ugh.  That... is what is getting to me.  I had the place in... if not great shape... at least without such odor.  I have been so crippled lately I haven't even noticed.  I noticed today.

Trash out, cat litter managed, and dishes collected and started, would be a massive beginning to odor control.  Then, if or when it begins to warm again, I could open up and let fresh air do it's thing... upstairs and down.  It is getting cold again.  It is freezing, at 30 F, and windy out there.  This is not spring.  This is not mid to late April.  This is still winter.  No matter.  I would like to be ready for when it does warm.  If... it warms.  I think it will.  Just, not like before.

But summers, as we know them?  We may get a few, in the next few years, decades.  Perhaps this year, maybe next.  Off and on.  But I think... summers as we have known them are a thing of the past.  And at least for the presumed duration of my life... for the next fifty years... maybe for the next thousand to ten thousand, summers are lessening.  Some years there won't be a summer.  It... isn't just earth.  Look to the changes on Mars, Saturn, Venus, and the rest.  The sun has become cool, shirking it's shine.

Never mind.  Enjoy life.  Do what you may.  Sun or pain or no.  I will.  If I can just get a few things going tonight, and finish one or a few tomorrow, life will be good.  I may have to hobble on swollen bruised feet, but I... think I can.  Using hurt hands.  I think I will.  With a smile, and a few furry friends pestering me for attention and to make sure I know I'm not alone.  It's... a little life, but a good one.  Later, I suspect.  Hopefully a later of success.