If suffering could be beautiful?

.

.

That would be today.  Yesterday, however, would have been exquisite.  Neither a sadist, nor masochist, I don't think in such ways.  As a avocational linguist, however, with oppositional notions from time to time, I can't help but paint those notions etymologically.  Etymologically?  I... think so.  If right?  I don't always know quite for certain.  If incorrect, too tired to check.  Maybe an edit, at some point in the future?

I was down by 07:30?  Give or take an half hour.  Hmm, I thought I started waking toward the last quarter of 13:00?  But... that... can't be?  After finally waking, then tinkering just a bit, as I sit, having lit the machine and router, it is just 13:52.  No... I must have seen incorrectly.  It must have been the first quart of 13:00, or thereabouts, when I started waking.  Or it was a dream?

Pain?  Stomach to kidney, neck and shoulders to feet.  The feet, again, are the worst, and part of why I am awake.  Just the tops this time.  I have stayed off my feet since yesterday, mostly.  So the bottoms of my feet don't hurt.  But the tops feel as if they have been slapped by a hand which knows it's business, or a belt.  Still, that's a 50% improvement... more actually.  The sides don't hurt either, but they were a more minor portion of the pain yesterday.

I'd call it a 60% of everything pain day, and mild to medium... what does hurt... other than the feet.  Yesterday was more like 100%, plus nearly double to severity of the feet pain.  Better is better.  I never did take painkillers yesterday.  Why?  I... didn't... couldn't... think of it.  Today, though, definitely.  Besides, they might help me get to work.

My bank has been calling, but I didn't trust.  Then again, talking to my bank?  They... aren't sure who called, or why?  Finding out now.  I don't trust automated calling.  Or calls which don't link back to my bank directly.  If call monitoring doesn't list them, I won't trust.  I will call the bank myself.  Can't... fully... trust banks these days, either, or anyway.  They seem to hate white people, little people, non-government people.  And they show it.  Must be a thing the Fed is pushing on them?

Okay... the charge?  I don't know what it was, but it wasn't mine... or knowingly.  So I have to get a new card.  If it was a membership?  The cost is rather high, so either it went way up or it was something else.  It is canceled, whatever it was.  This is the third or fourth time in the last few years.  I am being directly targeted.  I wish they would go after whoever is using it.  They have to be able to find them.  It just isn't worth the effort, or the police won't do anything for political reasons.  Things are simply going to have to get fixed.  But they won't get fixed if neither banks or police will act.  Well, that isn't true.  I just don't have the wherewithal to do it myself.  Perhaps others do have what it takes?

I am still hoping to get some work today.  The list is the same.  I am feeling thirty to forty percent better?  I... wouldn't say that... just... a decent bit better in most... some... a way.  Worse in the stomach.  Still, better, generally.  I will try to get a few things done today.  I think I can.  At least a few things started.  Just a few starts would be good.  Later.