So late. And with or at?

.

.

So dark.  Rather cold as well.  Snowing, again.  If it snows heavier, we could see a blizzard.  The wind is rattling the world.  I could not wake up!  Now I know why.  Thankfully I turned the heat on and up to 70 before bedtime... after being cool to cold all day yesterday.  Amazing weather for April.  March, sure.  But April?

After the alarms, at 07:00 and 09:00... which I was sure would wake me but failed, dreams.  One of them was of the devil, L... actually.  In the form she prefers, speaking to me in the form she would rather I be.  Tempting, too strongly to escape... this time.  I win sometimes.  She was laughing.

Laughing.  At me.  At God.  I was laughing too.  She, initially, thought I was laughing with her.  Then she picked up on something else.  She had to start wondering, with or at?  She asked.  Both, I said.  Though the 'with' part wasn't quite what it seemed.

A mystery?  Aye, to many.  If not THAT Mystery.  Sisters?  Cousins?  They do share traits.  They build, or really destroy, one upon the other.  Their ways.

There was a time when she knew to laugh at evil which would go against God, even as a liar from the start, and murderer.  She... knew better.  It was that part of her, a part which still remains if subdued by the other part, which I was laughing with.  As has been said, even named, "Mi cha el", "who is like God"?  Not so funny to her, now, not all of her.

Laughing at?  If, also, not quite in the way it might sound.  That would be... a... judgment?  Or... some such.  That is not my place.  Laughing at?  Yes, but not personally, but at her will.  Her will, in temptation, was to part me from God.  But, when I fail, and sin?  I move closer to God.  Only closer.  I seek His wisdom, light, forgiveness.  I seek that blood which Christ died to give, for the redemption of my soul or maybe even the end of me if I am just a darkness and can be no more... as some suggest of nephilim.  I laugh at her ill will.  

I also pray for my enemy, that she may, even in hell, find the love she once had at her disposal.  Even if parted, even if she is failed, seeking God, even when parted... I think it is possible.  Not that the breach can be changed, not that she can surrender her sinfulness, but the being can be corrected?  Maybe.  I don't do it in spite.  I love even that one.

My laughter is not a taunt, or hateful.  It is mirthful, hopeful, loving.  The music was... from before I knew God, followed.  But it holds the seeds of what was to come.  Until the right, truth, goodness, and such where know, there didn't seem another way.  Now there is only one way.  Amen.