Still awake.

.

.

I might be able to get the calls in.  Can't be sure.  I know, why not just do it now?  Because, I have to... be in a right state of mind, and capacity.  That sounds odd, but when you are mostly dead, and have been for decades?  We'll... talk.  Trust me, life is very difficult for me.  Just getting on the pot, and shitting, in proper order and time, is a trick.  I'm not even sure, sometimes, if my voice will work for very long.

Actually, I have to do the former, I hope, think.  So, while attempting to... do what is required to get off the pot, I may practice speaking, to see if I can talk for more than a few sentences.  It is a terrible thing to be so tired that you can't talk.  But, it happens.  And the only way I know, is if I do try, and then fail.  So, often, I won't call if there is doubt.  And... when isn't their doubt, for a Doubting Thomas?  Bleh.

I'll hit Sassy up with the last of her food, and clear her litter, on my way.  Oh, and perhaps go get the phone, just in case.  For all my problems, I do try.  I try, and try, and try, and fail, and fail, and sometimes succeed.  Even my successes, however, I do not claim.  I thank God for those.  I don't thank Father for my failures, but I do hand those over as well.  Sometimes... it's all I've got.  On the good side?  Failures mean I haven't quit.  And, that, in truth, is my only key.  Amen.

Well... on to things.  Later.  Or goodnight.