Crashed.

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.

Had to take a nap.  Sleep was required, for whatever reason.  A few hours down, three, nearly four.  On waking, I felt... odd.  So I checked blood sugar.  It is 75?  Very... strange.  I have been... conservative with dosing.  I did take some with the pork and broccoli, but 8 cc's.  I'm having another cup of kefir.

I suggested, to myself, that maybe the kefir will raise the blood sugar.  But, truth is, I... just like the stuff.  Even if I use it down a bit fast, almost any excuse to consume it might lend to it being consumed.  As well, I am making a fatted coffee.  If I am being very careful with how much sweetener I use.  Three drops only, in a quart.

Now, though, to shower, and see if I can dry and get to things.  Not certain, must try.  The world isn't built on certainties.  It is built on doubts and hopes, risks, and their rewards, and a lot of people heading toward hell in some strange hope of heaven, or at least the hedge that there is no heaven.  Thankfully, I am no longer a party to that, if even then my way to heaven is not sure, and I live like I want to go to heaven, but that may still fail.  Anyone who is certain they are going to get to heaven may end up in an infernal situation.  Even I may be among them.  I don't bring certainty to a court of divine justice.  I... believe that is a losing battle.  God has infinite forgiveness, but it is at His whim.  Don't doubt that.  I have seen over that edge, I... know to...  fear and respect my Lord.  Know I am not good enough, can't be.  And that if I get to heaven, it is His will, not mine, or anything I can do, but... surrender to His Mercy.  Priest, pauper, king, pope, it... doesn't matter.  And don't think being declared and praised as a saint, by any church, that if God says no the church will win.  It won't.  If you live in a true family, ask your mother and father for something.  If your mother says yes, your father says no, see who will win that if they are both emphatic.  Father knows best, at least in a right family.  So it is in heaven.

Anyway... Yea, a bit of coffee to wake, the kefir is already down.  Then to a shower.  No more beard trimming or shaping, today.  So... just need to wash, dry well, get dressed, and see if I can make it out.  Good afternoon and day.