Not exactly sure how it is done.

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Video pops.  New, old, different.  Poignant, at least to my eyes.

A visitor.  She says things, but... only from a safe distance.  Years, and miles.  But I know who.  I know her.  I still think of her.  And know, from these things, she still thinks of me.  How strange, women.  I'd like to believe the women I have known have been of the odder sort.  But I... don't think that is true.  I have just known a lot of them.  A types, and others.  But this one... was... different.

And, this.  I don't think this is from her.  I could be wrong.  This is from someone who sees, knows, or suspects certain things.  I... have an idea about whom such a person would be.  Why this?  I think, in understanding, of my current situation, and life.  Sometimes, what is seen is what is.  Sometimes what is, is not what is shown, or how it is shown.  It isn't my size, or strength, which is the most lethal.  It is my speed, dexterity, nimble nature.  Or... was?  Who knows, these days.  If I suspect there is still that... aspect.  It hasn't been... viability tested in a decade, or two now?  Odd how time flies.  If... that isn't the question or answer herein.

Burger was fried.  A taco salad was enjoyed.  Just spiced burger on shredded romaine.  A very pleasant, simple, meal.  Potatoes were baked, but not... for now.  They will be cooled, then reheated, and blood sugar load tested.  I think I have done this before, with little or not success.  But I want to try it again.  Science isn't once and done.  As well, even if it just cuts the load by 30%, or even 10%, it might be worth the effort.

Oh, and a few cubes of gouda.  Just storebought stuff, but it will work.  There are many cheeses I love, and am learning to love, and trying to learn to love, but gouda is one of the tops.  It took a while to learn to love it, but I did like it at the start.  A few ounces at a time.  Make it a treat, enjoy it often though?  I think so.

Coffee.  The nausea is still there.  Lighter.  I sort of fear coffee.  But... I... will have some anyway, since I can't sleep.  The other pains have eased, but are still there.  I don't mind death, or life.  Or pain.  If I wouldn't seek pain, either.  I'll feed Sassy, to get her off my seat in there, then play the game a bit more.  Still hoping to get back to bed before too long, but who knows.

I saw this, some time ago.  And thought, you know, I am through being pissed.  I... guess I was wrong.  But as much as it is tearing me up, it is rare.

Later or goodnight.