Days and nights are still off.

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I could only make it to 13:00, 1:00 pm for most of you.  I crashed so hard it almost hurt.  And I had to make the bed, hadn't gotten to it yet.  Still, that done, I crawled in for one of the best sleeps I have had in... a while.  Warm, finally.  The last few nights have been bitter cold, but I couldn't do much about it before, during, or after.  Fixed, with the bed reset and bedding set right.

Woke around 20:00.  Would have liked more sleep.  Not sure I could have had it in any case, but this horrible headache wouldn't let me sleep again even if I otherwise could have.  Sassy has been fed, laundry is set to one more drying cycle, and the whites will be put over.  I'm doing well with laundry.  Now to hit dishes and the house a bit.

I heard nothing back from the priest, but have heard he is using a new email address.  Which happens.  Still, there might be another way to get it done.  Plans are made.  I have been given an offer, and am set to manage this.  Ugh.  It's a tricky world, you have to fight for things, especially if you really are nearly dead.  Heaven is worth fighting for, even if I happen to fall short.  There is... an app for that too.  If I'd rather not have to depend on it.  Trust me.

Some painkillers.  I keep talking of taking them, when the skin felt flayed, when the foot hurt, when... other things caused great pain.  But I haven't used them in a month or so.  Today?  Already down.  Some days just... just get to me.  Although rarely do I take them even then.  I guess every third or fourth day, when pain almost brings me to my knees... then I... allow it.  Suffering is good for soul, though, and again, painkillers used too often stop working.  At least these aren't addictive.

Good morning, and evening, day, or whatnot.  A classmate, as an eighth grader, but not familiar until 9th, was the first gent I ever heard use "whatnot", "somesuch", and a few other now familiar favorites.  Became a friend, for my part.  Clay... the undertaker's son.  A good chap.  I... have had a few good friends.  And a few backstabbers.  Who stabbed all they way through.

Still... I thank God for each.  And bless them.  I wouldn't ask God to harm even the betrayers.  They... tend to fix themselves, or end up as Judas.  There are only two ways in life.  Only two.  Like the sexes, there are no middle, ulterior, or exterior ways or forms.  Either you work for God within His will, or you work for Him by being a bad example.  What you do, good or evil, to another, you do also to Christ.  Even to this day.  He isn't a dead Son, or purely risen, to my mind.  Not sure what the church says, but I think our sins still wound.  And, yet, that He hasn't returned?  Means we... haven't neared to slaying the church completely enough for His return.  Though... don't take a breather.  Our church leaders seem to be trying.  And many who share a pew don't even believe.  Just... what... business?  Comfort?  Social?

Be grateful, even if allowed to be martyred, a true martyrdom.  Though, if not being directly martyred, thank God for the opportunity of being persecuted in His name.  I'll tell you, stand up to that, don't back down from your praise of God, and His truth, and the mansion will be yours.  Anything you could gain, even another thousand years of breath, is not worth the price of upholding truth... Truth, really.

I'm no preacher, mind you.  Just a fool who found gold in a field, while digging my grave.  Enough to abandon my grave, even to live in poverty, without a true worldly place, titles, or else which I thought I might obtain.  Rightly?  Wrongly?  In the worldly way, there is no right way.  Be in it, not a party to it.  Amen.

Later.