A woman on my mind.

.

.

No, not one I was ever with.  One I had a crush on, as a freshman.  I could remember her face, and body.  My older brother, one of them, interested the woman.  Girl, really, but?  No, back then, a senior in high school wasn't really considered a girl.  For some legal things, and... some other things.  But... certainly not in all ways, as many are considered today?

Though, age has something to do with it.  Yes.

Anyway.  she has been on my mind, for some stupid reason.  I would like to think she had some interest in me, if passing?  More?  Something.  Maybe she just liked me, like a little brother type?  But I sensed something with her.  Not that she fell for me, but... a touch of "what if", or "maybe, at some time"?

A boy could dream, and I did.  She has been in my dreams, and waking mind, of late.  No, nothing... sexual.  Darn it.  Just... her face, her smile, her eyes.  But I couldn't remember her first name.  It was driving me crazy.

While looking around online, at y.t., I saw a flash of what, immediately, looked like her.  Couldn't have been.  She is three years older than me, or so.  And the name, I knew immediately, was wrong.  But that face.  So very much like her.  Then I remembered her name.  Leslie.  I don't remember her last name.  I do remember she was gymnast.  The first one I had a crush on.  Not the last.  If they all seemed to get away, or... we were separated for this, or that, reason.

Yes, if you read... not Leslie, but an old friend?  That... is what started the whole thing with gymnasts.  Anyway... I am glad to remember her name.  I remembered everything else about her.  And while I don't have her last name, her first will do.  Leslie.  A boy, and man, can dream, indeed.

I may never have been married.  But I have had a lot of loves.  Sometimes from afar, sometimes a lot closer.  Engaged four times.  Even lived with a few lesbians, dated some knowingly.  Such a strange life.  I do like dames though.  Something about them.  Even if the last one died, I'd... just... keep dreaming.  And keep doing without.  But, if the situation turns, and a possibility for one I would accept came up, I... would sure like to have one around.  Just... not here.

Dang but they get on my mind.  Later.