.
Something I saw the other day. Actually, I have seen it for a
while. Some things I avoid, if I think they will be too odd even for
me? Or... too familiar? Both? *eyebrow raise thingy*
After watching it, even the first time? Reminded me of my first woman in
Charleston. And the only really tall woman I have ever... been
with. She was 6'1"~2", weighed 150 (I only remember that because she
could bench her weight... pretty good for a girl). But, too, she was a
body builder. Still a cute little thing, to me.
I met her after she had taken her off-season, and was skipping this (the year
I met her) year's competition. She looked sort of like the middle of
three girls, crossed a bit with the singer? Or... so. Though, in
season, she looked closer to the slimmer of the girls in the back. I
only knew from pictures, that part.
The next song just... reminded me of some things. Did she know, suspect,
in spite of else? Women... don't care... as long as... something or
other. They just don't care, as long as they are... happy about...
something(s) that don't always make sense, to me. Not a whole truth, a
strange portion of truth? Sort of.
I... did enjoy our time together. I think what ended it was her
choices. For her to continue in body building, she would need to begin
'roids, juicing. And... that would kill her fertility. As... odd a
fish as I might be, fertility was a requirement. Hmm... so, yes, I
think, even then, as now, the possibility and openness to fertility are and
were required.
After her I met the woman I tried to have a child with. Then...
everything went sideways. Was it better to have gotten ill enough
to forget that for twenty five years? Or was that more cruel? I...
can't say. I would have to have lived both lives, consciously, to be
sure.
Yes... strange stories. But there are things in there.
Truths? To the best of my understandings. Of course, truth can be
of the mind, but not of more? Or only of thought, not flesh? So be
it. I only tell you as I saw things, as I understood them, at
times. I won't try to tell you morality, or such. Though, I must
not think it is moral, or I'd... live differently? Right.
Anyway... yeah. It was what and as it was, when it was. But I
enjoyed being with her for a while. Had hoped to have a few children
with her. Was looking. Did find. It just didn't work.
Finally back to seeking, and think that might happen yet. Was it Job who
lost it all, and had it returned? Not that this is expected, if living
at peace with all... is where it starts, and where I am. Might end there
too?
Well... enough for now.
I am working on the grill. It did get a bit rusty. So I will take a bit of work. I have used coconut oil to treat the surface twice. It is cooling, to be hit in another hour. Then, maybe, then or after letting it cool again... I'll make eggs and corned beef hash for supper. Then, clean it one final time. Then, over the next few days, begin cleaning it and using it, hopefully, daily.
Oh, best get medicine in. Having an floral, green, and oolong mix tea. Oh, it is a generous life. I really am enjoying the mixes, variety, and warmth while it remains cool out there. I'll make tea, and refrigerate it, when summer begins to hit full steam. Later.
Evil... The more they "evil"... the more moronic us guys get.
ReplyDeleteFavorite memories... Eggs and corned beef hash over a camp fire, (or anywhere) soooo goood!
ReplyDeleteRemember what the Door mouse said... Feed your Head!
Evil? I'm... not sure. You mean her deciding to juice? I'm... just... missing something, somewhere? Unless I just said it and... lost it... right there! :p
ReplyDeleteYes, corned beef hash, sardines, pickled pork hocks. Some things were, sort of, made for the lads only. There are a few freaky girls, but not many, who go there. Man treats are like dog's treats, made for who they were made for, no others.
And, with eggs? Nothing more delicious, to my mind, for "breakfast" food. I'll have a bite or two just as a minor food prayer for you. You are welcome!
Will have to lay in a case of Corned beef hash, and some "fresh" eggs, I seem to always be on "leftover" duty lately, eating what nobody else will. May have to pull out the cast iron camp skillet, just to give it a workout.
ReplyDeleteI used to hate leftovers. Even all the way back to subs, and before. I have... decided leftovers aren't all that bad, when the option is cooking a fresh meal. So, I make enough for leftovers on purpose these days... or... when I get back to cooking.
ReplyDeleteYes, I have two or three cases of that in the larger. But I'm a bit of a prepper type, or was. Trying to figure things out, anew, since changing to carnivore. It's... trickier. But those are pseudo okay for carnivore.
Yes, I learned to love cast. Though have switched more to carbon steel or stainless, for daily drivers. Though I will never knock a good meal made off cast. It's just, with glass rangetop, I'm... not so sure about cast.
Cast, gotcha, glass bad, My stove is gas, not much of a problem, then I could utilize the grill outside. This was a remnant from my Boys' (& girl) scouting, camp iron cast. My boys both achieved Eagle Scout (for which I promised them a Henry rifle of their choosing) Daughter achieved "Golden"? (highest Girl scout rank?)with the same promise.
ReplyDeleteThey are so much better than I was... I am blessed.
Now... that is an awesome part of your story. Things have changed. I wouldn't allow my boys in the boy scouts, should I end up with some, these days. But... once? That, and that level, is... was... laudable.
ReplyDeletePlus, a Henry? Nice. And, for your daughter too? Truly awesome.
As to your children, being better than you? That is always the hope. If you fail at all other things, but succeed here? Much... huge, vast amounts, massive chunks, of other things may be forgiven.
Though, since you yet draw breath? Hop to it, Hopsing! You can't change the past, but you can live a new future. I did. Though... a peak into purgatory, and seeing the hall of flame I would have to cross through, plus given another... bunch of chances? Yeah.
I'll tell you. Don't end up in purgatory. And definitely don't end in hell. Find out what it takes, and do it. Believe me. Just... figure it the fuck out man. You don't get to talk to one who was given a real, and even multiples, chance to talk to you. Here it is. Figure it out!
Message received and understood, working everyday to figure things out.
ReplyDeleteScouts, I believe my boys were in the last class of "true" boyscouts. It was going off the cliff then, we could see it, get them through "before..." Sad really, though Girls can get Real scouting in now, outdoors building fires away from cookies. Though, I think "skinning, gutting, cleaning, and cooking small furry animals" would have some scoutmaster up on charges.
ReplyDeleteYep. Had some local lads finish up their eagle scouts right as it was crashing.
ReplyDeleteAs for girls, learning outdoors stuff? Don't care. That's what fathers are for, not a bunch of lesbians, faggots, and whatnot. Of course, girl's scouts was being invaded by butches even when I was a kid. Didn't understand it then, but noticed the weirdness of the dykes running those camps.