Down late, up late.

.

.

Really pushing things, and it hurts for it.  Up to midnight.  I set the alarms for seven and nine, but didn't start getting out of bed until ten.  Luckily at that, and probably only because Sassy asked.  Insisted?  A... strongly worded ask.  :p  Even then it took an half hour to find my legs.

Fed her first thing, went to the bathroom, got on the scale, then brushed my teeth.  Filled the kettle, but won't start that until another twenty minutes, for my half hour no per ora zone after brushing.

Blood sugar is high, at 128 fasting.  I guess whatever I ate didn't quite sit well.  Sometimes it can disturb the readings for days, here and there.  Still, it could have been worse.  Steak on lettuce, yesterday, and perhaps ten slices of the salami.  There isn't supposed to be any form of sugar in that.  Then again, as mentioned, eating at Wendy's and having a salami sandwich, even with keto breade the day before, could be the trigger.

Oh, but weight?  I was right.  Getting water off is doing good.  But it is a slower process.  My body simply doesn't want to give up the water.  This morning the weight is 212.6, my new record low.  I still have a lot of fat, now sure...  I thought I would be seeing clear, clean, by now.  But... no.  I would guess another twenty pounds, or more?  That's crazy, but so be it.  I am on the right path, I'll let it go beyond that.

I'll just have herbal tea, for a few days, to clear out.  But more steak this morning, sometime.  Water, and herbal tea too.  Though, maybe a fatted coffee later.

It is 71, main and near me, upstairs.  I came downstairs into... warmth?  Oh, I turned the furnace to 72 yesterday.  And it was blowing just as I stepped through the door.  Gotcha.  So, of course, it is 72 in the main, but only 68 up front here, and 66 outdoors (after a good lot of sunshine out there, being around eleven when I finally looked).

Once I cooled the upstairs, it is staying cool.  Everything is closed up, I have a fan going, though probably warmer with the vent and the door to the downstairs open.  With the furnace going too, though I'm not sure that really gets upstairs.  Who really knows.  It didn't seem to do that before, but that is when I had a window pretty open, and a plywood construction to replace it for a while.  The plywood, to be honest, was better than the old window though.

I think I'll have some water, takem morning pills.  Actually, these days, I take everything at once.  Waterpills and potassium, minerals, vitamin B super complex, and such.  Oh, best order meds.  Saturday?  I'll have to wait to Monday.

The body is a bit cranky.  I've been pushing it, using the alarm, staying up too late, sleeping too little too often.  But I am... have... caught days, and am mostly fighting to keep them... mornings even.  Ten thirty might not be six, but it is still morning.  And, I am working at regulating.  This has been a struggle since I was a wee one.  I... have struggled with this since I can remember.  And, my mother says, even as a baby, I could not regulate to days.  So... I can't completely blame myself?  There seems to be something... about me.  Different.  Always have been.  Not a choice, I promise.  Just... how things go.

I would so love to just be normal.  You have no idea what it is like to be on the outside, looking in.  But never able to join in all the reindeer games.  Sleep cycles, to self perception, to... lots of things.  But I'm... working on it.  Try until you die, even if you can't.  Not even about faking it until you make it, it's just... trying.  Or... finding a better path.  There is no way for me to do the path of least resistance.  Resistance is futile.  No, I... must walk the path of pain.  But... to the good, the light, the right, even toward the divine, in spite of not deserving those grants.  An... odd path, it hurts, but it's the right one.  Easier to fail, and I do.  But I won't.  So... there is that.

Good morning, day, or whatnot.  Be well, say a prayer, and sleep well if you must sleep long.  Some of us will pray for your path home.