.
Woke up, thinking it was the first. But, of course, it wasn't. I always forget, somehow, that half way through my current day... or part way through it... the day changes. It IS the first, or was about to be. NOW it's the first. Gah!
Coffee went down. Water too. Sassy has been fed twice. I set an alarm for three hours, and feed her then. Plus, it reminds me to get up, shake things off, perhaps go to the bathroom, and breaks the spell of... whatever I am doing. Seems an odd thing to need to do. If I don't, she'll beg too much food. And, if I don't, I'll just... sit... for many, too many, hours. For now it works.
Would like food. Might have some. Might not. Funny how little food we actually need. Oh, sure, could eat all day long. But that hasn't been successful. Some foods, both highly processed, and not, are delicious. Baked potatoes, broccoli, beans green or other, steak, eggs, chicken, pork chops, food is really good. But you don't need very much.
That thing, every few hours? That's addiction, not need. It feels like want, but if you use heroin, or cocaine, that too seems like need. I promise, it isn't. It's the same thing.
Weight loss seems to be at a standstill, but that, at this point, as mentioned, is just a bonus anyway. It's blood sugar I am more concerned regarding. With my highest average being the three month, and that down from 150 a few weeks to a month ago? Sitting at 131? I'm... doing what I want.
Do I want to eat more? Not really. What I would like back is to enjoy eating. That is gone. But... that loss is what allows me to eat as I should, not... like a hog called to a trough. A conditioned animal, eating what, and when, I am commanded to eat. And, gaining a ton in the process. Literally eating myself to death.
Still thirty pounds overweight? Yes. At least. Will I ever lose that? I'd like to, but I don't think, at this point, diet alone would work. I will have to swim, and possibly begin lifting weights, to gain muscle, to burn off that last bit. It just won't go any other way, if I had to bet. So... that is sort of one of the things on the schedule to fit in, find a way to do, and... set up and get going.
Though, the house comes first. If I can get going on the house, and still have something left to give, then I might try to add exercise in. But, the house is first. Then again, tending that might be enough exercise, short term. Might also bump me up to being able to work out? I... never am sure. Mostly dead means just that. Anything I do is a minor miracle.
Even so, I would like to eat. I just don't need it. Want? Sure. Need? Not so much. It's been a day, or two? Since my last meal. I'm not going to die. Hurt? Just a bit. But... the pain is mild, compared to other things I have experienced.
Oh, but the heart is being held in place a bit better. Still not perfect. More like items in a breast pocket, but this time not just open, but with a button. Still a bit loose. I'd like to get that in a pocket with a fold over, button down, flap? Or better, have it stitched right in, with... whatever holds organs. The body is working on it.
As I mentioned, as I have been losing larger amounts, this loose organ thing happens from time to time. The body can only grow and keep up with fat losses in there, and changes in body structure, just so fast. Until, I think, it gets to optimal weight, that won't quite be complete. That is another thirty pounds. So... 180? That's crazy, but I think so. For me. At 6'5" plus some. Crazy. But... so be it.
On back to gaming. I think. Though I may finish the pots I cleaned, from recent cooking. And set up some burger, faux rice, and tomato to stewing. What else could I put in that? I know I'll add parm on top. Some veggies? Corn? Green beans? It'll be an odd hodgepodge, but will do. A bit of spice? Hot? Italian sorts? Both, I think. It won't be fancy, but it will do.
Later.
Slugged around in bed 13 hr. saw every hr. except4... 1900, 2200, 0100?, and 0300. Other hours I was fighting sheets, blankets, and pillows trying to keep from sweating or shivering. My most loved C-pap was messing with me. Little bit of sweat breaks the seal and air "farts " around the nasal pillows. Even had a couple of left shin cramps, rare now days.
ReplyDeleteDidn't mess with temp. or fans, wanted something constant while I fought the other variables.
I really think ol' Ben Franklin had it right, said you should have two beds, so you can switch during the night when the first fills up with "nightly vapours" . They also had different sleep patterns common among some "white collar" workers, who would sleep a few hrs. in the dark evening, wake and"do stuff" in the "middle" of the night then sleep till morning. Could have been a habit in "wilderness" areas too, to do a "security check" on the fields and livestock.
Many of the "founders" had military/ militia background so may have been used to 2on 4off= 2x4, 4x4, 4x8, 5 and dime, 6x6 etc. short weird hours, not so good for health, or is it??? could "they.gov" be wrong about sleep too?
ReplyDeleteUntil recently, like this last year, or two? I... resemble your remarks about sleep. Mine is from ptsd, if the VA says it's... real, diagnosed, but... from nothing. And refused to check my records. Something odd there. I pushed, it went nowhere. I... had reasons to push. They knew better than to follow through?
ReplyDeleteStill, sleep, on, off. Sweats, dreams, sickness, lots of things.
Is it the diet that helped? Or have I just aged out of some of the sweaty night and sleep horrors? Always afraid, always ready. Darkness, fighting, killing, dying.
Life is pretty good lately. Mostly. I'd still like to have a smaller place, not baggage holding me down, and a housekeeper or two. If someone can keep the place clean, and do the shopping, I can live much better. Yeah. We'll see.
As to sleep, even on submarines, probably your ship too? It was six on duty, six in whatever your station was (AA for me), then six down. But the captain lived nine to five, and ran drills in the morning and afternoon, so only one in three sleep cycles was uninterrupted (if... I did sleep through some, after pulling 24 and 48 hour emergency events).
As to sleep, and health? I think six to eight is vital. A bit more if you aren't right, a bit less for short stints might even be good. But four to six, in a while, will rip you up. Just... my take. I think, somehow, they got the sleep right. And, I'd say, eight to ten for most people, even. Or a nap.
I have doubts, though, that people were made for nine to five. That's just not right. As to night patrols, and security of self, family, business, cattle, etc? That... will develop paranoia. Hard. A good thing, in hard times, but a hard thing, anytime.