.
I was able to push my day into the early afternoon? I think between
14:30 and 16:30? Or... something. I was so fried I can't know with
any great certainty. But... somewhere around there. And yet I
woke, what to me, seemed like a similar time? It, of course, couldn't
have been. Perhaps the day was bright and relatively shiny both
times? Or I was dreaming when I woke? I don't know, but something.
I must not have slept much, to be sure. Four to six hours. But I
was ready and able to be up and going. I fed Sassy first thing, then
gamed. As it neared midnight, I got the last of the salad, and good
thing. That was getting really ragged, but still if just edible. A
can of tuna, my dressing, some salt and fresh ground pepper. It's good,
was. Planning on more chicken in a bit.
Blood sugar is at
128, fasting. Not the best, not the worst. I am hoping it is
remaining hangover from the tomatoes, or at worst the carrots from the four
veggie pack? Sometimes they got me, in the past, sometimes not.
Or, at worst, just the veggies in general. I'll... experiment in
time. As mentioned, though, if my cheats get me to 128? I... can
live with that once or twice a month. Hoping, though, it isn't the
salad.
Chicken, mushrooms, and the last of the veggies. Should be good.
Buttered, and heated in the oven. Delicious. I'll tell you, the
way I did thyme and sage on the inside of the bird worked to perfection.
It got into even the wings, even the outer skin. And the spice and herb
mix was absolutely just right. I even ate the giblets. One small
group with each group, and the heart on it's own as I was cleaning up.
Yes, I am an offal man. That is something I do thank my mother
for. She taught us to eat outside of our comfort zone. She had to,
as a girl. Sometimes it's all they had. And, she taught us.
Never always get along with our parents, but the things they did right, I
can't not praise them for those things. Even her brutality.
It's... what she had to offer, to keep me more right. I... thank her for
it. And, yes, sometimes, it probably did hurt her more than me.
But... not always. *grins* And... I don't even mind that.
She did her absolute best. I may not be a great man, or all man, but I
am her son. Mostly. If and more. She knows. The Lord
knows.
I keep day dreaming about women though. Even while sleeping? I
think so. Day dreams are a different sort of dream. And... that's
what I have been having. All good. Just... Sandy, from Otis, or
Akron? Something about the ones who... you loved, who loved you back,
but you never got to know. And... maybe rightly. We had a mad
love, for a time. Gorgeous little American pony girl... dirty blond to
strawberry, with freckles and a smile that tears me apart to this day.
Our eyes kissed, all the time. It wasn't innocent, but it most certainly
was.
I've always been a bit odd. But I... liked what I liked. Girls,
women, such, in my and their times. Heaven knows, I do my best.
Sure am getting old.
But, there were others. If I hadn't thought they would have forced an
abortion, I probably would have had sex with Nancy. Oh yes. That
was my first... near... lover... with intent. I... wanted to make her
pregnant. I've never really wanted sex, just for sex, once I sorted
things. I wanted to be a baby maker. Something... about being
taught early? Dunno, it changed everything. But too, I realized
sex, for itself, wasn't good. Or enough. Hmm... Anyway.
On with the night. I'll try to get a shower before long. And...
trim the whiskers. Maybe trim first, shower, then do an actual
shave. Be well. Later.
Lay down at ~1500 read a bit, then dozed waking up drenched, AC at 78 has been fine? (no not true, I've had other sweaty nights recently) for weeks. Changed t-shirts twice, mattress pad once, blankets and sheets as well. Sweat dripping, skin sometimes warm sometimes cool. Around 02-0400 I dropped ac down to 75. Drug myself out around 0500.
ReplyDeleteGlad I don't dream about women often, some of the specimens I've encountered while awake... wouldn't want them infesting my sleep time. The ones I would like to meet again in a dream... well, I have enough real memories of them to not need the dream. We shared the real.
Last week I couldn't find my "multi-tool" that I've carried nearly everyday since 1990. Mild panic and sorrow. Vivid dream of me finding it on the dining room table, and me putting it in it's favorite pocket. Forward a couple days and I need the tool... not there??!! Do the empty your pockets looking dance... nope, dreamt it. Finally found the damned thing, yesterday) on my bathroom sink (where I'd already checked several times). Glad we're reunited.
I don't get dreams that I "believe" when I'm awake, I can tell, "that was a weird dream". So to have 2 in as many weeks is different. (side: maybe there is something to your Malarial suspicion, Fever dreams?)
Here's the second one, about one of our conversations. : I'll vector you in. Hummingbirds, nesting close, not sure where the nest was. Vivid, adult "hummers" diving on a nest, feeding chicks (brutal to watch those beaks feed babies) The nest was in the Juniper tree in my sideyard. Great, now I can tell Doom in an ominous voice... "I found the nest". Big problem, I don't have a Juniper on the property. Dream.
You just haven't done enough, and dreamed enough. Well, and you aren't mostly dead. So tired that... how much of what happens, how much is taken in? Dreams and life are very similar for my type.
ReplyDeleteThen again, as I have mentioned, I have dreamed whole lifetimes. They say we can't, I beg to differ. I know we can. I can smell, in my dreams, I am aware they are dreams, usually... these days. But... not always either.
I was quite pleased you found your tool. Things like that, with that sort of pedigree, aren't items anymore. They are extensions. Memories of memories, in flesh. Just be glad you don't have people rummaging through your things, while asleep or gone. You "lose" things, either stolen, or moved, it gets... messy.
Dark dreams about me already? I'm flattered, young man. *grins*
Dark? That was a happy little Hummingbird dream...
ReplyDeleteEarly model stainless Leatherman, (have a black Parkerized model with a broken blade"me being dumb" I should send it for a new blade). That stainless Leatherman was in my pocket through two West-Pac deployments, my two weddings, my children's births (so wanted to cut a cord on one with it), every wedding/ funeral since. Helped fix things from Nuke plant stuff to wristwatches, butchered Pheasant, cut meat, rewired circuit boards, lanced blisters and boils opened cans and bottles, fixed sewage pumps and autos. Saved my wife's wedding dress from a pesky nail in a hardwood floor, she was irritated that I whipped it out of my Tux, "At our wedding!"
It could have its own blog...wonder if Leaterman Co. would sponsor... HA! talk of dream.
Okay, but I can't see how "Doom in an ominous voice... "I found the nest"" goes well. If you, as you seem to, like hummingbirds. But... I am a little different, and so to seemingly are you. If, probably, in slightly different ways, in more ways than one, too. A one, a two, a one two three four? :p
ReplyDeleteSee, those are the stories I like. Enough of a story that even the owner is merely... the hand sometimes. Would be quite the thing. If you were to write, that might well be it.
There is probably some ew factor in there, for some. But... I'm... just here for the stories. Everything is a bit iffy. Life is good that way. Like... you only know a woman loves you if you break her heart. How odd is that. Wonderful, these dilemmas, enigmas, paradigms, dreams, and just the... mundane. Of all, I like the mundane, especially when there is some "ew" factor in it.
You did what with that blade, then what? And... then what? :p As if they didn't wash up just spiffy. :) Good day.
Just thought it would be a cool scene... Doom, I found the nest,you flank right, I got left... waste these bastards!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't mean we are going after Hummingbirds, could be any nasty critter.
Books... Monster Hunters, by Larry Corriea... VERY fun read on that series.
Oh yes, that. I haven't thought on group ops for a while. But have been taking out monster and machine gun nests since before the Boy Scouts, when it... was a real operation itself.
ReplyDeleteWould be good to have some center distraction though, too. Where are the dancing girls? But... you get what you got. :p
They're upstairs, shaving, they'll be down in a bit.
ReplyDelete