A bit of a struggle.

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Waking, this morning, took a bit more time, and some pushing.  I didn't get to sleep at 17:00, as I had thought.  It... just... took longer.  Even so, I was down by 19:00, and lights out meant just that.  If felt much later, but no.  I checked several times.

I attempted to sleep without the electric blanket, but that was a no-go.  I set that up, going, and crashed so hard I don't remember much.  I did take waterpills, and so dropped between four and five liters.  Only had one, three liter, pee jug up there.  Meant to bring others.  Because, when I am this bloated, and hit waterpills, I can easily drop between nine and twelve liters through a night.  Or... that's more my record type numbers.  But... not completely rare, either.  When I go, after forgetting to order, or take, water pills.  I... can spill like a flood.  And, for days in a row.  So, tonight, I will have three three liter pee jugs up there.  And keep them up there for the next week, until the fluid is mostly out.

Strangely, my legs, ankles, and feet are already looking a lot better.  I know I have a ton more fluid in there, but it seems it wasn't all going down to my legs, as it looked.  And, that gets pumped out first, rather than last?  Strange, different from ever before.  I'll take it gladly.  And, yes, the knuckle feels better already.  Not perfect, still limping a bit.  But much, much, better already.

It's a mysterious looking day outside.  Fog, or else, has creeped in.  There is some lower level visibility.  It isn't completely blocking sight.  But there is reduced visibility, a little less light, and higher visibility is much more restricted.  One gets the idea that there are mountains out there.  We get to see their toes.  :)  But higher sights go unseen, unseeable.

Not snowing, but raining?  When... it decides to offer precipitation, it looks like it rained anyway.  Not too cold, but not warm either.  It's... more like a deeper fall day, just on the edge of really cool, nearing cold, but not quite there.  A sort of day I enjoy, perfect for the season.  A gift, of the seasons.  A perfect later fall day, if I ever saw one.

Dreaming of women, last night.  Through their seasons.  As a child, when we could be friends.  A girl named Lisa, in Ruthven.  A few others.  Just... friends.  Before... we couldn't be friends.  And before parents stopped allowing it, if... for good reasons.  I... understood, eventually.

But, through the ages, when we began to discover our differences, why we couldn't be friends, and what replaced friendships.  And... why.  Such a bitter thing, in a way.  And, yet, a wonderful thing?  Like it or not, we didn't then, they don't know, dealt with it differently.  

Then on to being in those relationships, liked or not.  Hmm, such strange birds.  If they think we are quite peculiar too.  Not without cause, either way.  Dreaming much, last night.  Little visions, notions, separate, but all related.  Well, and on to knowing women of age, as a man of age.  Still like them, if our causes and reasons are different.  Some things never change, only the weight given to the sort of relationships possible?  

More friends, when younger, but never purely.  So parents stepped in and parted ways.  Then more lovers, with parents out of the way, and often friends and most others set aside. And, then, later, more back to friends.  But whichever was most prevalent, sometimes the other form(s) are, or were, more desired?  At times.

I do, sort of, like dames.  Women.  Trouble, troubling, but... they sure are attractive, interesting, curious, creatures.  Anyway...  The dreams were good.  Warm.  Warming.  Heating.  

I wasn't able to crawl out until, say, nine?  Or so.  I am still quite tired, and a bit sore.  Yesterday beat me up, for a dozen reasons and more.  Watching a friend become all growed up.  Wife, house, and... probably children on the way.  Not... literally, yet... but the nest is where that happens, and the next has been obtained.  Wonderful, to watch friends find their way.

Terrifying, but wonderfully so.

And business.  Looking, again, at taking a risk.  And borrowing to spend in order to make money.  Not sure if the risk is worth it.  Pretty sure.  If nothing else, there is some hope to learn repair, upkeep, and how to do some things in and to a home.  But, the slog through the mud, of possibilities?  Yes, no, maybe.  Sign here, give us this, let's us have that, and so on.  Difficult.  But... okay.

So, yes, I am tired.

I'll get some steak cooked before long.  That'll help.

Trying to figure out what to do with the game.  Stuck with one boss in the main game, have quit the dlc as there is no advantage to finishing that game at all.  Even what is obtained from the boss isn't worth the effort of fighting him.  No good cause to waste my time on a cheating boss.  The boss in the main game, holding everything up, is truly unbeatable.

I have tried that boss on... ten different "sure fire" builds, with various summoned additions, without, even with summoning other players.  Fought that fight dozens of times, over years.  Can't be beat, unless the game decides to even giver you the chance.  It hasn't given me the chance.  You don't get good enough, the game either decides to give you the opportunity, and you see it, and then you can take it.  Or it just doesn't.  And, for me, it hasn't.  So... I'm sort of stuck.

I have the second 'toon.  But I messed something up.  The only way to fix that is to run it through the game, which I don't seem able to get through.  Or reroll.  Which would be... a massive effort.  Not sure I'm up to that.  Especially know that I still probably won't be able to beat the boss.  I've rolled a fairly similar 'toon, with my main, to get through.  Minus the one thing I messed up.  But it's one item, offering a 10% boost to damage on certain things.  I don't think it would make a difference.  I've never gotten that close.  Ten percent just wouldn't win that locked up boss fight.  Still, may do it, just for something to do?  Dunno, thinking on it.

At least, now, I know how to play that type of 'toon.  Later.