I do my best.

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While thinking on things, I decided to call my mother.  I sent her Christmas presents early, hoping one of them would be chosen.  She did like the wrist watch, not the pocket watch.  I was trying for something... she might like.  Difficult to know.  All good though, as long as she liked one of them.  Next, to figure out how to get the one she didn't like sent back.

I have asked a friend to print it for me.  Then will send the shipping label to her.  Why they can't just give me an email?  Well, she could.  Even right there at the home, most likely.  But she doesn't understand these things, so won't do them.  Hmm... if I don't hear from my friend soon, or such, I may call the home directly.  See if they could give me an email address, and maybe specific person to receive it?  Or... next time.

Oh, I don't mind.  I'm... like that, with tech I don't know or understand myself.  I have a bit more flexibility, but I'm not in my eighties.  Lord knows, the world must be confusing to the elderly.  It's... confusing to me.  Then again, I am hitting that elderly stage, if illness has exacerbated that.  Though some things mitigate that.  I'm not... completely clueless with some tech, even advanced notions.  But... I have limits, for trust, knowledge, acceptance, that isn't purely based on lack of capacity.  I won't learn what I don't trust to use, but I could?  In theory.

Still, was happy she enjoyed one of the items.  Now... to send her something she might like besides.  I am trying to treat her well.  Her time is shorter.  Heck, my time is shorter.  From time to time, I tease her about racing to the finish line.  Not sure which will make it first.  She is holding on well, I am not here by just deserts or else.  If I am attempting to take care, now.

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I learned a bit about what the bank is on about, with regards to loans.  A home equity line, I think, is what was suggested.  All good, if we can get it through.  I had an idea, of how much I would like that to be.  And, other than paperwork, and acceptance (which is far from guaranteed), the numbers I was talking were acceptable given the valuation.  Assuming all holds up.

It was interesting to learn about these things.  First time for everything.  The line isn't a loan, more like a credit card.  Interest is only charged if money is taken out.  And only on the amount taken out.  Strange how things work.  But very nice.  I now just have to hope to get approved, and start rolling.

The first thing is to clear the house.  Fumigate, or sort of, with the O2 generator, a cat hotel, and me out of the house somewhere for a few days.  Then probably painting.  While obtaining quotes for carpeting, flooring, electrical panel(s), heating and maybe ac, and some wall work in the kitchen.  Not sure all of it will be doable.  Will see.

Terrifying, though.  Loans.  Even... if... it all works.  Maybe especially if it all works.  Still?  I'd like to leave the home better than I found it.  If I can make a clean nickel or three off it?  All the better.  Even if signing what seems to be my life away, on a bet... if a probably reasonable one, makes me squishy inside.  But, then again, I... really do like fear.  I... seek it, or used to?  No, I... still do.  The game I play, deals with bugs, sometimes, giants other times, sometimes great heights which I have to navigate.  Two of those things do terrify me.  Yet... there I play.

So good.  To do a few things correctly.  Perfume?  A better warmer blanket?  A few dollars?  Not sure what else to get mother.  It'll be a surprise, for both of us.  Because I'm just not sure.  We don't see eye to eye, get along, or always like each other.  But... we do love each other?  Or some such.  It's what parents and children do.  Thankfully, and not.  Amen.

Or good night.  I may crash really early.  Mother did remind me to take painpills.  And... that has helped.  More numb than better, but I'll take that.  Later, Skippy, Bane, Michael, Foamy, Dx Viking, and the rest of you... whoever is out there, or left?  Well, and you stealth readers.  Be well, stay warm, don't die.  But if you do die, know it.  Trust me, better that way.  Or so I say.