Headache, body ache, problems.

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Just a more difficult morning.  The toe knuckle has swollen more than it was.  And it... was pretty swollen.  I stopped wearing shoes for a few days, because that was... starting to hurt.  Back to it, pain and all, today.  Shortly.  Hey, pain... is sometimes the only way through.  Though, too, it is good to take a break from pain.  Not even I am an absolute pain loving monster.  I... will endure it, as needed, as possible.  But, as well, don't expect me not to complain.  It... will happen.  If not every time, or every day, or every way.

I've been a bit grumpy lately.  Which happens.  I'll try to set the dark mood aside, endure the pains and aches more subtly, and find a better way to live.  Politics is over, for a while.  No reason to chase a tail that has been managed, one way or another.  Either it will get better, it won't, or it will get worse.  Not much I can do about it.  I'll pray, for the leaders, doers, decision makers.  But I... have been, always do.  Nothing changes, no matter which "party" is "in charge".  Bleh.  See, but that is probably as nice as I get about such topics.  Take it or leave it.

It was 31 out this morning, if I didn't mention it.  Oh, wait, it was 23 out there.  It is now 25.  Little bits of frozen snow, or water droplets, crystals, dot the driveway, and frost is on much.  Cloudy, can just see mountains, sometimes, some of them.  Look frosted too, if of course it is just the first layer of winter snow.

A beautiful day.  If the beginning of deadly weather.  Heat can kill you, the cold is quicker.  So alluring, though.  Like... a frosting covered death trap.  Though, death itself, can be quite alluring?  There are times when it may seem better.  But, that is a God thing.  The young don't realize how innocent they are.  Still, would rather not lose the young.  They are the hope, if a futile one?  Or some such.  But these things aren't in our hands, probably thankfully?  I think so.

Dreams.  Wanting to fly, but just can't, won't.  I love flying in my dreams, even in the sea.  Though, to be honest, the sea frightens me.  Which... is why I was drawn to it.  Submarine duty... was a dance in the dark depths.  I so enjoyed it, even after the near sinking.  Something about it, being out there.  Making it through a near disaster.  To be on a plaque, is something.  To be alive, and remembering, is better.

One might almost think I have a split mind, regarding life, and death.  And... I do!

Hungry.  Just not sure, again, that I can get to much.  Wait... canned salmon arrived.  It's pricey, so I didn't get a lot.  I have lettuce, and salad dressing made up.  Yes, I could do that.  Would like to taste that salmon.  Just a can a month.  That, tuna, anchovies, sardines, and canned chicken, provide easy fast proteins.  To supplement, but not come close to replacing, meats as my regular.  If... I can get to thawing and cooking.  Bah.

The nice thing about canned is... it's instantly ready.  And, yes, you can add sardines to hot foods.  For years I really didn't think that would work.  But, as mentioned, good sardines are similar in flavor to tuna.  Same with anchovies, that aren't excessively salted, and canned in water.  These anchovies are more like sardines, similar in size, too.  I... didn't know!

Oh, another reason not to buy things packed in olive oil though?  Even if you could trust that it was extra virgin (which... you can't)?  Olive oil becomes slightly rancid over time.  Open a four year old can of tuna, packed in "evoo", and you will... notice.  Compared to a fresh can.  I have doubts about eating it, but... have.  Not dead, from that.  But... wouldn't serve it to family, friends, or even enemies.  I'm just... different.  Still, not preferable.  While the old tuna and else, canned in just water?  Was fine.  Not sure how long they really last.  That is why we have a sniffer, and taste buds.  These things will warn us off, if a food is too bad, too off.

If you are going to eat it fresh, and you don't mind probably being lied to about evoo being pure and actually added?  Go for it.  If it might end up sitting on a shelf for a few years, forgotten?  Don't.  

I am also shopping a few other veggies.  Green beans and diced stewed tomatoes.  Some are okay.  Was comparing brands.  Why would they put sunflower oil in tomatoes!?!  Wow, no.  And warn that it might contain soy?  No, some brands must automatically be dismissed.  This claimed to be an organic product.  Had to laugh.

I might be being lied to, by manufacturers, producers, and that allowed by the government, but I do my best to avoid certain things.  Seed oils are as bad as cigarettes, in small doses.  If I wanted to do something unhealthy, I'd smoke, or chew, not eat trash "oils".  Even good oils and fats can be destroyed at higher heats, either by the plant, or at home on the stove.  Deep fried truly is bad.  Deep frying in oil used more than once?  Very, very, very bad.  But, you can't tell some people anything.  I know, I used to be one of them!  :p

Well, I think I'll make a call, see if I can get something set up.  Not sure about else today.  Nauseous.  Can't walk almost at all.  Headache, bones ache all over, muscles are sore for no good reason.  But... it's pretty out there.  I am pleased to be here.  I'll say a prayer for gratitude.  Thanksgiving is every day, if you... can stop and think about it.  It's not about what you don't have, it's about what you do have.  And... thankfully, we don't get everything we might think we might want.  Those folk who do are hellbound so fast, hellbent so hard, and determined to keep what they think they have obtained, you wouldn't want to be in that boat, or yacht, or race car, or on the back of the hellhorse.  It isn't God who throws them down, it is their dark lord who does that, if at their insistence?  Sort of.

Well... on to a grateful day, some prayers, and a salmon salad.  Hopeful that will will manage nausea.  Or push it on out.  Have a great day.  And stay warm.