.
I tried to wake earlier yet. Made it awake, finally, at 14:30?
Perhaps as much as a quarter or score before? Something in there.
More or less. Fed Sassy. Went looking for information my bank lady
needs. Found it, sent it. It looks like the loan went through,
they just need... more data, proof, whatnot. I don't have all of it,
sent what I have or can get.
Oh, my plan of being done with the house by March is... very unlikely.
Perhaps next March. Not possible, this year. Not sure I want to
list it in the fall or winter, though... would look at the possibility.
Not sure what costs exist for listing. Or else. Will investigate
several companies. See what... schedule can be worked.
I'll finish the rest of the steak shortly. I forgot to pull more steak
out, will do that when I get up to oven reheat the steak. No veggies,
today. Tea, though. If I'll drink that later. From time to
time I need a bit more warmth, and tea will help with that.
The goal is to game a bit, eat, perhaps have tea. But push gaming.
Not... for it's own sake. I am a bit weak, of body and mind.
Gaming, especially a game I have already, mostly, beat? And played
through most of it end to end? Won't drain me like a vampire. But,
it will require me to focus, think, remember, go, do... even if just
digitally. This helps me... refresh.
A few vids had me in... stitches? Or such.
Women? Now, this thing is about goth girls. But, the truth is, I
have known trad women who are just as... lethal? It is something I do
look for in a woman. Sometime more, sometimes a bit less. But I
need that... spark. I have even hoped I would find one who would... see
me as ill enough, or pitiable, or this, or that, enough that she... might end
me. Or... when the time is right.
Then again, I know I found such women. The problem is... either they
didn't see the need, or did but couldn't follow through. Or... they did,
but have as rotten luck killing me as I, enemies, even the world has
had. I just don't die... well... easily... for long?
Then again, perhaps there is... more to it? *rictus grins*
Just... thinking, laughing, wondering, musing. Perhaps I am drawn to
them because... we are closer in ways neither of us could understand. Have... you ever wondered? I.. do. I do.
On to getting dinner ready. If the dead can't dance, at least this one
can eat.
Last half of petite sirloin from yesterday, topped it off with three eggs, adequate, Dogs were strangely absent, so no sharing. I'd have fried more if they participated.
ReplyDeleteFirst cigarette... Barn stormer bar in Idaho Falls airport...Camel unfiltered, local band playing "Mack the Knife". Bar had like 93 different beers? You'd get a card and check them off.
That reminds me... I need to clear out old and get fresh eggs. I... lost track of a lot of things lately. Sounds like an excellent chow. You must have been a good doggie! I'm working on it.
ReplyDeleteMy first was my moms, so before eleven. But I had to sneak them, so it was... annoying. At eleven, I had to work off a debt... kid troubles, about the only one, due to a poor (poor as in bad) friend albeit. My boss would give me a few packs a week, on top of pay. I asked, to buy. Being honest, and not sneaking, stealing, he just gave.
So you didn't start smoking until you were older? Crazy. The floor came up at you from below! :p
Ah... the good old days! If they were horrible, and they were. They were half so horrible as these days. Or... we were young enough to not know the difference? Care? *grins* I... don't mind. I think on those days fondly... pre-illness. Trouble, tobacco, alcohol, women, work, and the rest. Live your life, or lose it. You... won't keep it. :)
24-44 was a good run, glad I quit. Don't need it don't want it glad I don't have it. Miss alcohol more than tobacco.
ReplyDeleteYes, expenses with no payoff. Well, the instant. But that was a negative feedback loop. I miss it all. Sometimes. About equally, except for women. I miss those more if dread them the most too. :)
ReplyDelete