When did I go down?

.

.

Sometime midafternoon.  After 16:00, not quite to 18:00?  Just guessing.  I was so absolutely exhausted that even getting to bed was a serious chore.  I kept nodding off as I sat here.  Surprised I haven't fall from my perch doing that.  At least I wasn't nodding off behind the wheel.  I started waking at midnight thirty.  Tried to keep down.  Made it a mere half hour before I simply couldn't stay down anymore.

Not that waking was easy, or smooth.  I kept.. nodding off on the way out and up.  Though, once on my feet, and dressed, life evened out a bit.  How do I keep on living?  I honestly can't say.  Assuming no one is trying to poison me, or otherwise interfere, and I don't make any such assumptions... but just for simplicity let us stay that.  Just how I feel, many, almost every day... since... what... early to mid fall?

My body hurts, aches, or is just tired.  Muscles, bones, the heart, other organs... hurt, or don't seem to be working, or such.  Though... some of it is the cold, dark, damp.  A warmer place, or more even tempered place, maybe a mix of those two in milder climbs?  Might help.  I don't know, if I suspect so.  Not Arizona, Nevada, or such either.  The heat is absolutely relentlessly brutal.  And it can get quite cold there, too.  The range, and humidity sometimes.  It'll make you hail or kill you.

The Philippines is pretty warm, and humid.  But it is rather consistent?  Much closer to that than here?  There is Hawaii, but batshit politics, the wealth one would have to contend with, it's... not a place I would like to go.  An island, unsustainable if the world fell apart and stopped sending supplies.  It would go ape there, and the survivors would... be dancing on the skulls of whoever was too old, slow, disorganized, or such.  Don't expect mercy.  They got none.  If I were a betting man, and flesh was stocks, I'd go long long pig in such an event.  No.

The Philippines would have problems, but not quite that severe.  Though, too, foreigners, if the money became useless, would... fall pretty quickly.  Even if it didn't.  Just... understand.  Then again, the states would get hairy, definitely in the cities and surrounds.  As far out as marauders could get and get back with loot.  But that... would... burn out after looting a hundred miles around, with the defenses becoming more serious as the mayhem took a turn for the worse, plus infighting over what remains in the city.  A few weeks, months, maybe a year?  Like all fevers, some good with some bad would go.

Argentina?  With what is happening there, more hope after a bad thing happens.  Though... nowhere would truly be safe.  And, that's a longer shot thing.  Not impossible.  Then again, in the boonies, almost anywhere in the world, a misaligned, damaged, or otherwise misguided nuke could just as likely squash your little dream of paradise.  Though, with faith, it wouldn't be the end of it, just the beginning.

Oh, right?  Do I overthink things?  Absolutely.  And I enjoy every trip down that rabbit hole.  It... gives me variables, constants, landscapes, mindscapes, escapes, and else to mesh into potentials at speeds of light and sound, blending those into a tapestry or potential troubles and solutions.  If all based in a world, in truth, answering to hope, faith, and charity.  Keys to the puzzle.  Live, die, without those?  Your... already dead.  I might already be a dead man walking, of flesh.  But I am not a dead man of soul, or spirit if I don't have a soul.  I'll... take that trade.  Every man will die, not every man will live.  I... just happen to be both.  Amen.

Hmm?  Oh... tea!  I had some very good white tea, but I heard of two types which were considered slightly better... by all accounts.  One I was less interested in, to start.  It is milder.  To be honest, I will go there.  I wanted to work to it though.  From my very good, if stouter, white tea, to the higher grade but slightly milder white tea.  And, if I get a handle on that, a taste for it?  Then on to the premium of picks.

Just cooled enough to sip.  Oh my word!  That tastes like pears!  The sweater type, if bolstered by my solidly keto sweetening mix.  That was divine.  I... shouldn't have sweetened this.  Next time I won't.  It's just that I only woke up and wasn't thinking clearly.  Even so, that is... delicious.  Pears, sweet pears, with a touch of ginger and maybe a slight hint of... cinnamon, at the back of the throat.  Generously delicious.

Ah, and... blood sugar is 114!  Down from 150 yesterday fasting, 1t has been hovering in the mid to upper 150s for four days, after coming down from a high in the 250s a week, week and a half ago?  So... very nice drop.  Carnivore is... back in the driver's seat.  

I even bought a couple of Dave's triples, at Wendy's.  No sauces, ketchup, pickles, mayo... buns, but otherwise lettuce, tomato, and onions only.  A bit dry, not perfectly tasty, expensive as the dickens, more to them than In-n-Out but so much more expensive.  If I think a reasonable trade though will drop to doubles from them.  I would have done that place, but I had already passed and wasn't in the mood for traffic wrangling.  So, Wendy's it was.  I still had most of the water from the signing.  They offered one, I gladly accepted.

I had thought I would receive some cash there and then, but no.  Nothing, no payoffs, no access, until the middle of next week.  Sure getting a lot of phony calls, or was for a bit.  "I just won the lottery, and want to give you a million dollars.  All I need is your social security number, credit card, and bank account number so I can do the transfer."  *grins*  At least they aren't dot indians anymore, or pakistani types.  They almost speak English.  If... not well.  A cross between urban and hick?  *laughs*  Embarrassing.

Yeah no.  No thank you.  I, too, won the lottery.  I got even more.  Do YOU want some?  :)  I'll give you some.  A lot of some.

Well... on to my morning.  Be well, live well, kill well and peacefully if you must, and die well when it is your turn.  It isn't a horror, it... is a gift.  Only the idea that love is eternal is a finer gift, in a fallen world.  Amen?  I... think so.  Are you still on my porch?