.
The body hurts. Kidneys, liver, torso generally, muscles in the legs arms and yes torso. I worked too hard for too long. Not one day, but for almost two weeks. Still going to have to do more work this week. Then, maybe, take a week off, after next Tuesday.
A shower first thing, hoping that will help. Sassy fed. Teeth brushed. Medicine taken. Dressed, if just for around the house, for now. My change pj's for cargos, t, and a jacket... shoes and socks either way, when the feet dry.
Blood sugar is 186. All I could eat, yesterday, was crackers and pb&j. Even being keto, I have to eat enough fat and protein to leverage those few carbs. It's a pain in the ass, since I just can't eat steak right now, or lamb, or chicken. I... have hit some sort of wall. Meat sticks are horrible. I don't know what to do.
After the shower, I got most of the last of the dishes in to a soak. The final half gallon jugs, two glass pots, for cooking. Yes, odd, but I wanted to see if those would hold up. For how long. Those will probably make it into the dishwasher before the day is through.
The dumpster should be arriving today. Into which will go cardboard. It has accrued again. And the thinner old mattresses. I'll need help with the bigger mattresses. As well, boxes and boxes of stuff. And... clearing out the garage, to a degree. I'll do what I can, as fast as I can. But will need help with a few things. Could, possibly wrangle them myself, but that's how I hurt myself. Aging sucks, if there are some benefits? Patience? Humility? Things... not exactly considered worldly benefits. It comes down to if you believe in the day after death or not. I do. If... even then, these are difficult gifts.
On to coffee. With the last of the cream. Then? to finish drying off, and dressing like a grownup. I may have a few meat sticks with the coffee. I have steaks thawing, so may try to cook one, much more carefully. Ugh. Later.
I've seen those charcoal chimneys used to start a whole grill, not for individual cooking. Just something that hit me, could you somehow try different amounts of charcoal so the heat runs out before the meat is ruined? Since I'm unfamiliar with the exact technique, I'm postulating on a blind theory. Ignore as necessary.
ReplyDeleteAll good to offer advice. To be absolutely honest, I don't fully know what I am doing. I am currently working on things. Though, some of the problem is I started doing this when it was deep winter. It is hitting mid spring, so the temperature, humidity, and such, have all changed.
ReplyDeleteI am trying differing levels of charcoal, and this and that. Including close up the grill, more and more, to shunt the thing a lot. Ugh.
Though, this last time, I think the alarm sounded, I shut it off thinking I'd get right to it, but... got lost in thought. So it burned. I have to put the alarm out of reach, so that I have to get up to turn it off. Then I usually get to turning the meat, checking it, right away. Otherwise there is a chance it will burn, char hard. Bleh.
Still up not sure why I'm commenting. Again, I should be getting up at this time ,not trying to sleep. No wonder they say shiftwork takes years off your life.
ReplyDeleteWoman has come home , watched her shows and stole the dogs to bed. I need to sleep. I want a road trip.
Ah. Because you can? Well, and because you are heard. By someone you could walk from, and yet... almost a kin. Our histories make us quite different, and yet... more like brothers than the ones we were raised with. Assholes? But the nicest ones you wouldn't want to fafo more about too.
ReplyDeleteOr... just because. Choose how you see the story, and tell it that way.
Wait? I thought the dogs came to you, when she was home? Or... just at food time? Or... are they neurotic, like many children. Taking whichever parent for whatever they are best for, or moment by moment? Just trying to sort these things out. Will want a dog, if I find a wife sort. Maybe two. Bigger dogs.
Shift work? I don't work it, I live it. No choice. So... I get it. I don't get to choose when, nor does anyone else. I have no choice when I go from standing to standing on my head, or halvsies. Bleh. But, yes, I get that. Oddly, in my case, it's the pain of it, along with a few other pains, that is keeping me alive. *rictus grin*
Are we... having fun yet?
"We're not here for a long time, we're here for a good time"
ReplyDeleteThe dogs are children... seeking favor from the "favored" parent, I can be scary alone, but a mighty good ally if needed. They don't understand. Then again it was bedtime for them. I was up at a time that was an anomaly, they were following schedule.
Huskies wouldn't have been my first choice, given their known faults (high energy escape artists) but I've grown to like/love these two. I still miss the golden retrievers they "... I was going to say replaced but that's not true, they weren't replaced... they were... I don't have the words. They were, and they are, now.
Don't know why I'm tearing up, guess I miss my goldens... Beau, Dakota & Dutchess. Crying now, peace out
Ah. Actually I think I get it. Sassy is not Sam, can't replace her. Fills her own place though. Which is why I still miss Sam so very much, sometimes. They really aren't one and the other.
ReplyDeleteI was telling an old friend that we imbue something of ourselves in them, and they give us something of themselves. In another time, they might be called familiars. For they are far more than just animals, living nearby.
Enjoy the pain. It means it was worth knowing them.
"Enjoy the pain. It means it was worth knowing them."
DeleteProfound...
true...
and "thank you"
still have to clean the teardrops off my glasses.
I do that for pets, women, friends, and family, from time to time. Sometimes I don't mind, other times it's just not... right.
ReplyDeleteMy proof, that death isn't a natural part of things? Is the sadness when it occurs. People want death to be natural, so they can just let it go. But we can't. There will be, I do believe, a time again when life is eternal. Just... making sure I am in the right place is... the thing. That was, once, for fear. But now for grace. Hmm...
Well, do well.