Not today.

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Still in bed at 18:24.  I have been awake for a bit, not awake enough to get going.  Not sure whether it's back to sleep or time to rise.  Stuck in a difficult spot.

Such terrible dreams.  A dream?  Series of them?  Or something else entirely?  If a series, thematically conjoined.  One of the several... dreams, visions.  -  Ask one of the Swords of God a question?  Prepare to not get anything like the answer you anticipated.  No, God is NOT on your side.  You are humbly on His side or you are on your own, in the darkness of your choosing. 

God isn't even on His own side!  He is for that which is divine.  Beauty, truth, reality, life, the truer meanings of love in all it's forms, and things along those lines.  He ISN'T tribal.  So thinking He is on your side is beyond presumptuous.

The man asking the question reminded me of the wealthy young man who asked to join Christ.  Asked to sell all his goods, he would not.  This man didn't refuse the wisdom offered, he was obviously offended by it, however.  His pride sealed his fate.  Nor did I mind.  Just by informing him, I had done him great service.  What he did with that was upon his head.  I prayed a little prayer for him as he backed away in horror from his and the truth.

As well, I prayed for myself.  That what I had said was right, just, true.  That I would, could, hold fast even when it hurt, myself or others.  That truth would endure the indignities of the falsely righteous.  I prayed until tears of blood graced my demeanor.

Reminds me of some of the lyrics of a song, the blood in the eyes, or tears was it, of my enemies...  Am I my own enemy?  Should I be false, then yes.  As was that man who was so wrongly certain.  Smug.

Such... dreams.

Back to sleep.  Recounting that wearied me beyond belief.  Why men think such strange things?  More than annoying.  Tiring, trite, and far too common.  They have to know that isn't true.  Trying to lie to me, themselves, God?  No, just... no.

Later.