Dreaming, living, forever.

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Perhaps you remember when I suggested time, for me, moves slowly?  A day is more like a year, as I sense things.  Mother, and others, suggest, especially as they age, that time moves faster and faster.  I remember a few times in my life when that was true.  Months, a few years.  Mostly, though, for me, time has been an absolute crawl.  To the point, in an odd way, wherein I almost seem to remember what is going to happen better than what did happen?

I... think you would have to have... been, lived, there.

Something I realized tonight is, that sensation isn't from just when I am awake.  Even when asleep, time moves so very slowly.  I didn't go to sleep until around two.  Here it is a bit past seven, and it seems as if I slept a week.  Waking... some number of times, many.

I don't understand it.  Imagine living five thousand years per year, or something.  I might not be... seeming to do anything with all that time.  But, internally, I am.  I think about... things, people, the past, the present, the future, various aspects of reality, many other things, and, of course, God.  God is always on, in, my mind.  Linked, even when I fail.  Especially when I fail, for my part.  As mentioned, that is when I seek Him, rather than hide from Him.  He... doesn't mind that at all, strangely?

More?  The older I get, the slower time moves.  It doesn't matter whether I have many or few projects, topics of concern, pains or pleasures, or just constant gaming for a bit... time just absolutely crawls.  Sometimes it seems to go the wrong way, which is how I "remember" the future better than the past.

Odd, to be told something has happened, and you... thought it already had happened.  That happens way too often to be just a fraction of a fiction.  It's a slice of tomorrow today.  I wish I could make bank on it.  If... I suspect people better at that, and cheaters, are running those tables.  I can't compete in those circles, though, to, there are the princes and principalities aspects beyond even cheaters and seers.

Learn to be just enough ahead to eat and be warm, clothed, and let wealth belong to the filthy who should get what they deserve of God's cup, all they will get while they can.  It's... all they will ever have in a dark eternity.  Not... bitter grapes, the saddest and sweetest.  Pray that some few may be more than the living dead.  That some may share high graces, and earthly.

Time... such an odd thing.  Time for coffee.  Good morning, day.  Be well, and prayers your way.