.
.
How does that saying go, if at first you fail, try standing on your head and making funny faces until someone gives you a push in the right direction. Well, that is how it often really ends up, you are welcome to be a part of my personal addendum to wisdom. So, since I failed, here goes the funny face.
Seriously though, my question about diabetes does not seem to have brought in as much consideration as I had hoped. I do appreciate Anonymous. This person is trying to warn me, and really, did a good job. My difficulty is I understand the warning though have no means I am aware of to alter the outcome. I might as well be the only one left on a jet headed into the mountain. I can only just keep consciousness long enough to realize I am in trouble. Yeah, okay, I will crash. And what does that mean to a man who cannot even get out of bed without the fuel that is driving the plane? Yeah, I mixed it up there. You are clever, you can follow right? Bitter, frustrated, nervous, sure. Please do not mind my bark.
I am curious how long diabetics usually go at such levels of illness before they begin to crash? I would think six years would be more than enough. Should I not already have had a sugar coma? I know there is exhaustion, but the exhaustion is alleviated by the sugars. That is not supposed to happen, is it? Something simply does not make sense here. Either it is not diabetes or they do not understand diabetes. Are Indians subject to different rules regarding diabetes? Are breeds subject to different rules? Why are my eyes improving, down to the capillaries. Why is my peripheral vision improving. Why are my really messed up eyes (vision wise) oddly improvable with glasses and contacts to 20/15? None of this makes any sense whatsoever.
I guess if someone was going to try and answer one question, it would be this. How long do diabetics living at a count of 300 to 700 (or more) have before they systemically fail, or even begin to show failure? I have looked. None of the online (or offline) doctors seem to have that answer or offer it, even in a general way. Well, other than showing wonder every time I walk into one of their clinics and they cannot find a problem. Yes, it bugs me. Oh well.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Dilemma.
.
.
I am in a pickle, so to speak. I was using Coca~Cola to give me the juice I needed to see me to getting the things done that needed doing before, during, and after my lady friend's visit. I suggested I would quit using the stuff once she was gone. Well, sure enough, after I ran out of the last drops of go-juice I reluctantly but honestly stopped purchasing more. And, if the diabetes is not perfectly under control yet, I can feel my organs relaxing, softening, and returning to a more normal state (I think, anyway... some of them were becoming just a wee tight and causing some minor pain).
Diabetes? Yes, I have it and bad. But, so far, I am still healthy as a healthy horse and in a large way. My eyes have improved 3 times in the last 10 years, 6 of those years and two of the improvements being diabetic era, diabetes which is usually out of control at that. However, without something to help me go, I am back to slipping schedules, an inability to focus and push, self care and house care drops to sub-standard levels, and I am not able to even feed myself rightly. Those are bad enough, being a man, but there is bad and there is worse.
The Cola does not really "give me wings", it merely allows me to stay up long enough to have the potential to notice problems or dirty dishes and fix the problems or do the dishes. Ritalin was a step up from that, but the new doctor is dead set against that, without also taking the blood pressure medicine. And, here like Iowa, either neglect, incompetence, or outright avarice plays as a blocking item(s) in my care. I simply cannot afford to do private care at this point. Should I go back to the "sauce", knowing I am risking a great deal? Do I have a choice?
I am thinking about this, but I do not see a lot of options. I may, without touching an ounce of alcohol, still end up drinking myself to death just to be able to get a leg out of the bed more than a few hours at a time or even getting those feet on the floor more than a few days a week. It could be so simple. *grumbles* Oh, right, never go for that "government health care". It really is genocide.
.
I am in a pickle, so to speak. I was using Coca~Cola to give me the juice I needed to see me to getting the things done that needed doing before, during, and after my lady friend's visit. I suggested I would quit using the stuff once she was gone. Well, sure enough, after I ran out of the last drops of go-juice I reluctantly but honestly stopped purchasing more. And, if the diabetes is not perfectly under control yet, I can feel my organs relaxing, softening, and returning to a more normal state (I think, anyway... some of them were becoming just a wee tight and causing some minor pain).
Diabetes? Yes, I have it and bad. But, so far, I am still healthy as a healthy horse and in a large way. My eyes have improved 3 times in the last 10 years, 6 of those years and two of the improvements being diabetic era, diabetes which is usually out of control at that. However, without something to help me go, I am back to slipping schedules, an inability to focus and push, self care and house care drops to sub-standard levels, and I am not able to even feed myself rightly. Those are bad enough, being a man, but there is bad and there is worse.
The Cola does not really "give me wings", it merely allows me to stay up long enough to have the potential to notice problems or dirty dishes and fix the problems or do the dishes. Ritalin was a step up from that, but the new doctor is dead set against that, without also taking the blood pressure medicine. And, here like Iowa, either neglect, incompetence, or outright avarice plays as a blocking item(s) in my care. I simply cannot afford to do private care at this point. Should I go back to the "sauce", knowing I am risking a great deal? Do I have a choice?
I am thinking about this, but I do not see a lot of options. I may, without touching an ounce of alcohol, still end up drinking myself to death just to be able to get a leg out of the bed more than a few hours at a time or even getting those feet on the floor more than a few days a week. It could be so simple. *grumbles* Oh, right, never go for that "government health care". It really is genocide.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Watching minds fail.
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Has anyone else had a favored star, politician, or such who starts out in the right step and ends up in the lock-step of the left? That has been on my mind lately. From Supreme Court appointees to congressmen, even up to the president (not current, he has always been a left-bot). It could be a writer, a diplomat, someone in law, or a screen star. It seems as wealth, power, fame, or any mix of that arrives on otherwise seemingly right minded people's doorstep, their grasp upon reality leaves them, or a new one takes hold. I have been pondering this of late. It is not all of them, but the numbers do not favor the good.
I can plainly see that some of them had dirty little secrets that, as they became famous, became exposed. Rather than denouncing these things, they decided to run with them. That might be due to a sort of blackmail as a stick, and allowances by the left as a carrot (say, homosexuality, drug use, even pedophilia). Once these people have been battered (by the left, the right simply drops them), they turn to the very people who abuse them for being conservative and queer who allow them then to be queer and "liberal". Once there, they can never turn away or they will be all alone (unless they give up on their sinfulness, which many will not do once they taste the putrid meat of their ill desires). These are fragile people, held in place by their vices, their weakness, and their new masters.
The other side is those who have a change of mind all on their own. People who become fantastically rich, famous, or powerful become quite selfish. They do not want to share what they have (come on, if you are worth half a billion or more, $10,000 to Haiti does not even cut into your pedicure fund). And more, they do not want more people attaining their status, as it would reduce, ever so slightly, their standing. They learn quickly that promising money from the working class to the poor (populism), enacting laws which preclude others from climbing their ladder (slash and burn corporatism), and other such options helps maintain their status. In part, though, it is a bit of self hate. They know their money has corrupted them, and they do not want more corruption. Like the gun hater who knows he or she should not have a gun because they themselves are too evil and immature to own such items, the rich then transfer their corruptibility onto others.
Like Gollum, they cannot give up the 'ring'. They would struggle, hunt, go through horrendous privations, and kill to keep their 'precious'. And no other, if they can force it, would have access. They know to whom the 'ring' belongs. They know what it has done to them. They know all this and yet wisdom does not live where intelligence does. One is knowing, one is doing, and they cannot "do". Some of them are obvious, either drugs rule their lives and they must have access. Others have an affinity with sex with children. Some of their lusts are better hidden though. The 'ring' that binds, however, is always there. It shows through in their lock-step faux populism (all populism, actually, is a lie... for example, no country can offer good medical care through the "public option", public option is just another word for medical genocide, which in short order will become politically motivated and directed medical genocide).
Actually, these people are the ones, the very people who would despise the notion in their evil fortresses of hate, who need prayers like few others. Not respect, not praise, not glory, but prayer. They hold onto things which they cannot take with them when they die, or often even while they live, which are worthless in the end. They curse those who know, including themselves and their peers, but more their betters. They decry the very systems which could help cure them and bring them back to sanity and true relationships. Like few others, the evil know what is good and eschew it for a shame so deep even they at their peaks can not ignore it.
Yes, it has been on my mind. Writing about it will alleviate the headache it causes. Maybe, somewhere, somehow, this will reach just one of them. It will touch just one in such as manner as to help them begin listening to the call to true righteousness. It does not mean that they have to give up their wealth or fame or power... someone really must be in their shoes, it is a calling, a gift, and a certainty... only that they become the master of it and begin acting as true leaders and citizens rather than as retched spoiled children trying to keep everyone else away from their toys or hang onto their corruption as a right of what might seem to them as their other gains.
Christ did say that for a rich man to get to heaven he would be similar to the camel going through the eye of the needle. He also indicated, on this same topic, that what is impossible for a man is possible through God. So, rather than just point out the flaw, here too I have written the answer. Or, more, remembered the answer and written the truth. If you are in that trap, go find God, or die with less than what you were born with. As with God, I think, it does... and does not... matter to me. But it will matter to you.
Maybe that headache will pass now that I have this knot out of my head! Blessings and good night!
.
Has anyone else had a favored star, politician, or such who starts out in the right step and ends up in the lock-step of the left? That has been on my mind lately. From Supreme Court appointees to congressmen, even up to the president (not current, he has always been a left-bot). It could be a writer, a diplomat, someone in law, or a screen star. It seems as wealth, power, fame, or any mix of that arrives on otherwise seemingly right minded people's doorstep, their grasp upon reality leaves them, or a new one takes hold. I have been pondering this of late. It is not all of them, but the numbers do not favor the good.
I can plainly see that some of them had dirty little secrets that, as they became famous, became exposed. Rather than denouncing these things, they decided to run with them. That might be due to a sort of blackmail as a stick, and allowances by the left as a carrot (say, homosexuality, drug use, even pedophilia). Once these people have been battered (by the left, the right simply drops them), they turn to the very people who abuse them for being conservative and queer who allow them then to be queer and "liberal". Once there, they can never turn away or they will be all alone (unless they give up on their sinfulness, which many will not do once they taste the putrid meat of their ill desires). These are fragile people, held in place by their vices, their weakness, and their new masters.
The other side is those who have a change of mind all on their own. People who become fantastically rich, famous, or powerful become quite selfish. They do not want to share what they have (come on, if you are worth half a billion or more, $10,000 to Haiti does not even cut into your pedicure fund). And more, they do not want more people attaining their status, as it would reduce, ever so slightly, their standing. They learn quickly that promising money from the working class to the poor (populism), enacting laws which preclude others from climbing their ladder (slash and burn corporatism), and other such options helps maintain their status. In part, though, it is a bit of self hate. They know their money has corrupted them, and they do not want more corruption. Like the gun hater who knows he or she should not have a gun because they themselves are too evil and immature to own such items, the rich then transfer their corruptibility onto others.
Like Gollum, they cannot give up the 'ring'. They would struggle, hunt, go through horrendous privations, and kill to keep their 'precious'. And no other, if they can force it, would have access. They know to whom the 'ring' belongs. They know what it has done to them. They know all this and yet wisdom does not live where intelligence does. One is knowing, one is doing, and they cannot "do". Some of them are obvious, either drugs rule their lives and they must have access. Others have an affinity with sex with children. Some of their lusts are better hidden though. The 'ring' that binds, however, is always there. It shows through in their lock-step faux populism (all populism, actually, is a lie... for example, no country can offer good medical care through the "public option", public option is just another word for medical genocide, which in short order will become politically motivated and directed medical genocide).
Actually, these people are the ones, the very people who would despise the notion in their evil fortresses of hate, who need prayers like few others. Not respect, not praise, not glory, but prayer. They hold onto things which they cannot take with them when they die, or often even while they live, which are worthless in the end. They curse those who know, including themselves and their peers, but more their betters. They decry the very systems which could help cure them and bring them back to sanity and true relationships. Like few others, the evil know what is good and eschew it for a shame so deep even they at their peaks can not ignore it.
Yes, it has been on my mind. Writing about it will alleviate the headache it causes. Maybe, somewhere, somehow, this will reach just one of them. It will touch just one in such as manner as to help them begin listening to the call to true righteousness. It does not mean that they have to give up their wealth or fame or power... someone really must be in their shoes, it is a calling, a gift, and a certainty... only that they become the master of it and begin acting as true leaders and citizens rather than as retched spoiled children trying to keep everyone else away from their toys or hang onto their corruption as a right of what might seem to them as their other gains.
Christ did say that for a rich man to get to heaven he would be similar to the camel going through the eye of the needle. He also indicated, on this same topic, that what is impossible for a man is possible through God. So, rather than just point out the flaw, here too I have written the answer. Or, more, remembered the answer and written the truth. If you are in that trap, go find God, or die with less than what you were born with. As with God, I think, it does... and does not... matter to me. But it will matter to you.
Maybe that headache will pass now that I have this knot out of my head! Blessings and good night!
Friday, January 15, 2010
I have started posting and commenting a bit.
.
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I have gotten out of my dead zone in more ways then one. Blogging has suffered due to being busy and then crashing from having too many things happen too quickly. Fine, fine, the recovery has been quicker and I did get a good deal done while busy.
One thing I note is that, as before, often I am quite misunderstood. That is not so much of a problem, as even in real life people seem to speak a foreign language, to not be able to follow what I see as a simple evolution of ideas, and in some cases simply disagree and so take what I say in whatever context they prefer rather than even trying to follow the context given. Well, that and people, both online and off, tend to lead distracting lives so taking the time to read or listen with comprehension kit in place seems to be skills not rendered. Frustrating, at times, but for me it is not a new thing.
Part of that, I am sure, must be laid at my feet. I do not, will not, push really hard. I have found that pushing hard simply creates a negative reaction. Often, simply planting a simple seed and watering it gently is the way to go. In a "now or never" generation, a thing which affects me like all others though hopefully to a lesser degree since I am aware of it (?), the plant, water, hope scheme is tedious. And, though I might plant 10 seeds, even having 4 or 5 of them eventually bear fruit is frustrating. Still, it is better to gently cultivate 4 or 5 fruiting ideas than to fight my whole life through a negatively reacting world.
Who knows, the world seems to be finally rejecting many of the things which were bringing it to the new world order, such as climate "issues", seeing that world poverty cannot really be fixed, seeing socialism falling apart in this nation when it is shown under the glare of real light (no thanks to the media, which is dying for trying to push that cultural death call). Americans, though asleep on their feet, when their real liberties and the prospect of freedom for their children and grandchildren is threatened, have begun to wake up (if still ever so slowly and cautiously).
Some of us who have toed the line, denounced the foolishness of AGW, decried the lies of politicians (even "our" own), and stayed away from political and social fads, are making a difference. Some of you do it more online, I do it very powerfully in person. It seems I know no one, but I find that people I did not know have listened in on discussions I have had openly with others. I am sure those who did not agree will never say a word, some of those who either do agree or who came around because of listening, have spoken. I am amazed what impact just being solid, honest, and real has on people I did not know and whom I was not directing or even intending my words toward. I guess even a gimp can bring something to this table.
Keep up the good work. It may really be too late, but I am not a believer in that. I think even coma victims can come around. Communists can be saved, socialists can be rectified, and the dead will live once more. Of course those first two are less likely. The change required is actually more dramatic. They have to die to what they are and then experience a quickening right inside of life. Something similar happened to me, I know it can happen for others.
Oh, about Haiti... I am not jumping on that bandwagon. I can only imagine where all the money and food will go, though I am pretty sure little of it will get where it is sent. Much like sending Christmas presents to those in Hell, only the Devil will get the gifts. It is little different from sending food aid to the North Korea, food aid which only goes to the army. Until their nation changes in the non-hopeychangy way, sending anything there is either throwing it away or giving it to people who live to hate those who offer the gifts. Pray for the dead and dying, sure. Give what we can scarcely afford, no. I am not on-board. That both parties are is another problem. Look, what we did (or did not do) in the Katrina thing... that was correct. Changing it for the same type of people because they are in a foreign country is wrong. Bah!
.
I have gotten out of my dead zone in more ways then one. Blogging has suffered due to being busy and then crashing from having too many things happen too quickly. Fine, fine, the recovery has been quicker and I did get a good deal done while busy.
One thing I note is that, as before, often I am quite misunderstood. That is not so much of a problem, as even in real life people seem to speak a foreign language, to not be able to follow what I see as a simple evolution of ideas, and in some cases simply disagree and so take what I say in whatever context they prefer rather than even trying to follow the context given. Well, that and people, both online and off, tend to lead distracting lives so taking the time to read or listen with comprehension kit in place seems to be skills not rendered. Frustrating, at times, but for me it is not a new thing.
Part of that, I am sure, must be laid at my feet. I do not, will not, push really hard. I have found that pushing hard simply creates a negative reaction. Often, simply planting a simple seed and watering it gently is the way to go. In a "now or never" generation, a thing which affects me like all others though hopefully to a lesser degree since I am aware of it (?), the plant, water, hope scheme is tedious. And, though I might plant 10 seeds, even having 4 or 5 of them eventually bear fruit is frustrating. Still, it is better to gently cultivate 4 or 5 fruiting ideas than to fight my whole life through a negatively reacting world.
Who knows, the world seems to be finally rejecting many of the things which were bringing it to the new world order, such as climate "issues", seeing that world poverty cannot really be fixed, seeing socialism falling apart in this nation when it is shown under the glare of real light (no thanks to the media, which is dying for trying to push that cultural death call). Americans, though asleep on their feet, when their real liberties and the prospect of freedom for their children and grandchildren is threatened, have begun to wake up (if still ever so slowly and cautiously).
Some of us who have toed the line, denounced the foolishness of AGW, decried the lies of politicians (even "our" own), and stayed away from political and social fads, are making a difference. Some of you do it more online, I do it very powerfully in person. It seems I know no one, but I find that people I did not know have listened in on discussions I have had openly with others. I am sure those who did not agree will never say a word, some of those who either do agree or who came around because of listening, have spoken. I am amazed what impact just being solid, honest, and real has on people I did not know and whom I was not directing or even intending my words toward. I guess even a gimp can bring something to this table.
Keep up the good work. It may really be too late, but I am not a believer in that. I think even coma victims can come around. Communists can be saved, socialists can be rectified, and the dead will live once more. Of course those first two are less likely. The change required is actually more dramatic. They have to die to what they are and then experience a quickening right inside of life. Something similar happened to me, I know it can happen for others.
Oh, about Haiti... I am not jumping on that bandwagon. I can only imagine where all the money and food will go, though I am pretty sure little of it will get where it is sent. Much like sending Christmas presents to those in Hell, only the Devil will get the gifts. It is little different from sending food aid to the North Korea, food aid which only goes to the army. Until their nation changes in the non-hopeychangy way, sending anything there is either throwing it away or giving it to people who live to hate those who offer the gifts. Pray for the dead and dying, sure. Give what we can scarcely afford, no. I am not on-board. That both parties are is another problem. Look, what we did (or did not do) in the Katrina thing... that was correct. Changing it for the same type of people because they are in a foreign country is wrong. Bah!
Feeling much better and maybe getting back into things.
.
.
I will probably take MK's advice and sit another half a week out or so, but health has returned fully. The inversion is still junking things up, but mostly just outside. I do not really get anything more than the need to blow my nose a bit more frequently from the inversion, which is a winter usual anyway. I think the little dalliance with the flu has actually reactivated my interests and such. I am part way through straightening the house and doing dishes. As a gift for the work, I made a nice spaghetti dinner.
I had been searching for my calculus review material to no good ends in the past. I finally gave up and ordered the material along with more in depth material to study. At some point, I should be ready for school again, this fall I suspect. I also found more in depth physics materials to go along with some other material I already have. I will probably order that in March. I probably do not need the calculus material directly for a class, but the physics will be needed. Then again, I will probably use the calculus material more in other classes than I will the physics. Who knows for sure though?
I really need to get up and get going. The push and pull of getting things ready, having my lady friend here, and then tending to the mess left afterward was a bit much. I have taken some time off after that, but it is time to get back to business. The first major things on my list are to fix both computers and to reconnect with the broker. I really have to get out and begin looking for a house. Spring is coming, and fast. April, while appearing a good ways off, will be here before I know it. If nothing else, I will know that a house just is not in the cards. But I think I will find what I am looking for before too long.
Anyway... Have a great day. And know, really, that someone thinks very kindly thoughts your way. Be well.
.
I will probably take MK's advice and sit another half a week out or so, but health has returned fully. The inversion is still junking things up, but mostly just outside. I do not really get anything more than the need to blow my nose a bit more frequently from the inversion, which is a winter usual anyway. I think the little dalliance with the flu has actually reactivated my interests and such. I am part way through straightening the house and doing dishes. As a gift for the work, I made a nice spaghetti dinner.
I had been searching for my calculus review material to no good ends in the past. I finally gave up and ordered the material along with more in depth material to study. At some point, I should be ready for school again, this fall I suspect. I also found more in depth physics materials to go along with some other material I already have. I will probably order that in March. I probably do not need the calculus material directly for a class, but the physics will be needed. Then again, I will probably use the calculus material more in other classes than I will the physics. Who knows for sure though?
I really need to get up and get going. The push and pull of getting things ready, having my lady friend here, and then tending to the mess left afterward was a bit much. I have taken some time off after that, but it is time to get back to business. The first major things on my list are to fix both computers and to reconnect with the broker. I really have to get out and begin looking for a house. Spring is coming, and fast. April, while appearing a good ways off, will be here before I know it. If nothing else, I will know that a house just is not in the cards. But I think I will find what I am looking for before too long.
Anyway... Have a great day. And know, really, that someone thinks very kindly thoughts your way. Be well.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
I love it when I get sick like that.
.
.
A few aspirin, a little nap, and I am better than I have been in a while. Odd that a little sickness makes normalcy seem blessed. I still have some minor symptoms on the edge, but nothing to worry about. A little gas, I think, is the crux of what remains. I know most of the people I have met wished they had my system. Actually, I do too. I am healthy as a cripple can be. It would be nice to gift this sort of ability to those who struggle through sickness just to work to put food on their tables. I feel some guilt. Perhaps it is nice in a more mind and spirit sense that a cripple is then allowed to have sympathy for the healthy? I do not understand it all or know. I just know it is a strange thing.
I have been, for the most part, ignoring politics. Simply put, there is nothing to be done. Oh, I read D.C. intently, and some of you all's rants and raves. Yes, I agree. Yes, I think it is very bad. No, I do not see much we can do about it. No, I do not see a politician with any real brass stepping forward. Most are still locked in political correctness, even or especially those who claim to be "conservative". Either the world has forced it or men have become weak kneed ninnies, pussies to put it correctly. So, I do not blog about it much. Understand, it is on my mind. Understand, I stand at a readiness most cannot or will not. I am waiting for the call.
Physical fitness will be required, along with other readiness such as what D.C. discusses. A mobile readiness is best, as I see things. Though a home base would be a better first plan. Who knows how far they will try to go, where they will try it, and when. Do not expect a warning signal. They will, like all political pigs, send their minions in the dead of night. Having a few people ready and waiting to warn the rest of us would be good, but that would take planning. These people seem stupid, as evil always does, and they are. But do not think stupid is not clever, even ingenious. They have hackers, politicians, cops, government workers, and some military on their side. They own academics, media, and entertainment. They are quite willing to break a few eggs, as if abortion and a push for geratriside are not evidence. Still, they are few if well placed, more so now.
Anyway, I do the little things I can do in order to be prepared for bigger things which may yet be required. Having pushed to the yurt, I realize a few weeks on the move would get me into shape. And, that run showed me that I could survive a push. Gear has been collected and more is to come. My mind is being readied for intellectual challenges, as well as demands on the will, mind, and body. The time may never come, it may already be too late, or it might be tomorrow. Whichever, but make no mistake that those in power have full intention of bringing it about. Their success will largely depend upon whether Americans have lost the will to live as a free people or whether they have surrendered that and are willing to become wards of the state on a world wide plantation. To be honest, I think it is now as it was when George Washington came into his own. About 1/3 are for enslaving themselves, 1/3 really do not care, and 1/3 are coming to the idea that they not only should but must fight for freedom and what is good and right about this nation. It was a slim victory then, it will be no different now, regardless if it comes to a hot civil war or the continuation of this cold one.
Just so you know, it is on my mind, I am doing what I am doing for a purpose, and that I still believe in what is right. I would like to say my skin is not in the game, but it is. So, it is always on here, even if I do not always bother discussing it.
Happy Independence Day! Like Christmas, this too should be every day.
.
A few aspirin, a little nap, and I am better than I have been in a while. Odd that a little sickness makes normalcy seem blessed. I still have some minor symptoms on the edge, but nothing to worry about. A little gas, I think, is the crux of what remains. I know most of the people I have met wished they had my system. Actually, I do too. I am healthy as a cripple can be. It would be nice to gift this sort of ability to those who struggle through sickness just to work to put food on their tables. I feel some guilt. Perhaps it is nice in a more mind and spirit sense that a cripple is then allowed to have sympathy for the healthy? I do not understand it all or know. I just know it is a strange thing.
I have been, for the most part, ignoring politics. Simply put, there is nothing to be done. Oh, I read D.C. intently, and some of you all's rants and raves. Yes, I agree. Yes, I think it is very bad. No, I do not see much we can do about it. No, I do not see a politician with any real brass stepping forward. Most are still locked in political correctness, even or especially those who claim to be "conservative". Either the world has forced it or men have become weak kneed ninnies, pussies to put it correctly. So, I do not blog about it much. Understand, it is on my mind. Understand, I stand at a readiness most cannot or will not. I am waiting for the call.
Physical fitness will be required, along with other readiness such as what D.C. discusses. A mobile readiness is best, as I see things. Though a home base would be a better first plan. Who knows how far they will try to go, where they will try it, and when. Do not expect a warning signal. They will, like all political pigs, send their minions in the dead of night. Having a few people ready and waiting to warn the rest of us would be good, but that would take planning. These people seem stupid, as evil always does, and they are. But do not think stupid is not clever, even ingenious. They have hackers, politicians, cops, government workers, and some military on their side. They own academics, media, and entertainment. They are quite willing to break a few eggs, as if abortion and a push for geratriside are not evidence. Still, they are few if well placed, more so now.
Anyway, I do the little things I can do in order to be prepared for bigger things which may yet be required. Having pushed to the yurt, I realize a few weeks on the move would get me into shape. And, that run showed me that I could survive a push. Gear has been collected and more is to come. My mind is being readied for intellectual challenges, as well as demands on the will, mind, and body. The time may never come, it may already be too late, or it might be tomorrow. Whichever, but make no mistake that those in power have full intention of bringing it about. Their success will largely depend upon whether Americans have lost the will to live as a free people or whether they have surrendered that and are willing to become wards of the state on a world wide plantation. To be honest, I think it is now as it was when George Washington came into his own. About 1/3 are for enslaving themselves, 1/3 really do not care, and 1/3 are coming to the idea that they not only should but must fight for freedom and what is good and right about this nation. It was a slim victory then, it will be no different now, regardless if it comes to a hot civil war or the continuation of this cold one.
Just so you know, it is on my mind, I am doing what I am doing for a purpose, and that I still believe in what is right. I would like to say my skin is not in the game, but it is. So, it is always on here, even if I do not always bother discussing it.
Happy Independence Day! Like Christmas, this too should be every day.
Not the best.
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Flu or something has me in it's grip. I am not terribly sick, just green around the gills. A slight headache, minor nausea, fear of diarrhea, and that general feeling of poor health. It could be something I ate, it might be the inversion which is making the air bad, or it could be the flu. I just woke up to it. I believe it will be gone shortly, it is just one of those feelings, a sense which is usually right. For the moment, it is miserable.
I plan to go skiing again this weekend. Whether alone or with my friend, I cannot be sure. I am holding off on buying the skis for a bit and will just rent for now. I should go midweek though, fewer people ski midweek, I think. Then again, being a beginner, it might be better to have other people on the trail in case I bungle the venture. Yes, I should so will probably keep my skiing to the weekends. If I go alone, I would like to go a lot further than I did this last time if not quite all the way to the yurt. The way up is quite a bit of work, but the way down for the most part, makes it worth the effort.
I seem to have gained some weight while losing inches. Another notch on my favorite belt is used, simply in order to keep my pants up. I suspect using my legs has actually increased muscle there. It would not seem like two trips would do it, but I think it has. There is no other way to explain a weight gain along with the belt tightening. Since I am, generally, so inactive at this point, I think anything I do will have quite an effect. While skiing, I am on my feet the whole time, so yeah, it probably is simply leg muscle gain.
I called my older former neighbor to see if he wanted to get out to eat and take a drive earlier. We went to a place I do not particularly favor. Several people I have spoken with liked the food. Pasta dishes, sea food. Oh well, there are several places I do like and some places I would like to try. In time I will probably try all of the local restaurants. After dinner, we took a drive out around the far side of Cache County. I had not been out at night, so it was good to have a navigator. The inversion is odd in that it doesn't completely blot out stars let alone the sun. It just hangs mid-air in what would otherwise be clear days and nights. It is not even fog, really. It is a phenomena I have never seen, or knowingly, before.
I hope you are not feeling ill? Be well.
.
Flu or something has me in it's grip. I am not terribly sick, just green around the gills. A slight headache, minor nausea, fear of diarrhea, and that general feeling of poor health. It could be something I ate, it might be the inversion which is making the air bad, or it could be the flu. I just woke up to it. I believe it will be gone shortly, it is just one of those feelings, a sense which is usually right. For the moment, it is miserable.
I plan to go skiing again this weekend. Whether alone or with my friend, I cannot be sure. I am holding off on buying the skis for a bit and will just rent for now. I should go midweek though, fewer people ski midweek, I think. Then again, being a beginner, it might be better to have other people on the trail in case I bungle the venture. Yes, I should so will probably keep my skiing to the weekends. If I go alone, I would like to go a lot further than I did this last time if not quite all the way to the yurt. The way up is quite a bit of work, but the way down for the most part, makes it worth the effort.
I seem to have gained some weight while losing inches. Another notch on my favorite belt is used, simply in order to keep my pants up. I suspect using my legs has actually increased muscle there. It would not seem like two trips would do it, but I think it has. There is no other way to explain a weight gain along with the belt tightening. Since I am, generally, so inactive at this point, I think anything I do will have quite an effect. While skiing, I am on my feet the whole time, so yeah, it probably is simply leg muscle gain.
I called my older former neighbor to see if he wanted to get out to eat and take a drive earlier. We went to a place I do not particularly favor. Several people I have spoken with liked the food. Pasta dishes, sea food. Oh well, there are several places I do like and some places I would like to try. In time I will probably try all of the local restaurants. After dinner, we took a drive out around the far side of Cache County. I had not been out at night, so it was good to have a navigator. The inversion is odd in that it doesn't completely blot out stars let alone the sun. It just hangs mid-air in what would otherwise be clear days and nights. It is not even fog, really. It is a phenomena I have never seen, or knowingly, before.
I hope you are not feeling ill? Be well.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Skiing again.
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It looks like my skiing will be a solo venture. My younger friend tried it, but says the steel rods in his leg do not work well with the confinement of the tracks and the incline, I think. He will be thinking about it though. The first time I went, I went for far too long and with boots that were a little small. If I was not interested in getting beyond, I might have considered quitting too. I hope he reconsiders but will do it on my own until then.
I stopped into a shop that specializes in ski gear and talked one of the guys up and down on the topic. It looks like I should really start with simple cross country gear, which prices to $500 for the whole package. There are places for used in Salt Lake City, and perhaps even Ogden, for the more expensive gear and once I get there, if I get to that point of course. The nice thing about owning is I can go on a moments notice, there are no returns, and I pay nothing after that initial cost. Of course, you would have surmised as much. I would have to ski 42 days to make the price worth the expense but I do not think that will be a problem.
I also found a place very close by which is merely a flat track. It would not be too bad, though it is rather plain in many ways. With Green Canyon just about as close and a lot more attractive and exciting, it would be difficult for me to entertain the notion of a half mile circular level track. Now, if I get different gear, say skate skis or backcountry or something, it would be a nice safe place to explore using the equipment, checking out how things work, and such.
As I said, if I need to go alone, so be it. I am going to try to make it a weekly thing at first. Maybe more often once as I get in better shape. I will be looking into my money, seeing what is coming and going, and then I will decide when to buy. It might not be this year, but I am pushing to have them sooner rather than later. Until then I can easily afford even 6 to 8 times a month. I just hate having to go in, size things every time, ski just a bit, then drop them back. Triple the work compared to owning them.
Oh, and I am learning to really like skiing. I have no trouble with heat or cold now, the exercise is there but if it gets a bit much I can slow down or rest, and the downhill part... well, let me just say that if it looks to steep hiking is then in order. If nothing else, I know when I am going to fast and that I can handle a pretty hearty wipe-out. Better to hit the snow hard than to hit a tree or big rock. A few more times and I might be ready to take my camera. Ha, I did not fall down once this time. Then again, I was not skiing for nearly 5 hours either. We were on the skis for a good 2 hours, though, I would guess.
Good luck in whatever ventures you are up to. Have a great day!
.
It looks like my skiing will be a solo venture. My younger friend tried it, but says the steel rods in his leg do not work well with the confinement of the tracks and the incline, I think. He will be thinking about it though. The first time I went, I went for far too long and with boots that were a little small. If I was not interested in getting beyond, I might have considered quitting too. I hope he reconsiders but will do it on my own until then.
I stopped into a shop that specializes in ski gear and talked one of the guys up and down on the topic. It looks like I should really start with simple cross country gear, which prices to $500 for the whole package. There are places for used in Salt Lake City, and perhaps even Ogden, for the more expensive gear and once I get there, if I get to that point of course. The nice thing about owning is I can go on a moments notice, there are no returns, and I pay nothing after that initial cost. Of course, you would have surmised as much. I would have to ski 42 days to make the price worth the expense but I do not think that will be a problem.
I also found a place very close by which is merely a flat track. It would not be too bad, though it is rather plain in many ways. With Green Canyon just about as close and a lot more attractive and exciting, it would be difficult for me to entertain the notion of a half mile circular level track. Now, if I get different gear, say skate skis or backcountry or something, it would be a nice safe place to explore using the equipment, checking out how things work, and such.
As I said, if I need to go alone, so be it. I am going to try to make it a weekly thing at first. Maybe more often once as I get in better shape. I will be looking into my money, seeing what is coming and going, and then I will decide when to buy. It might not be this year, but I am pushing to have them sooner rather than later. Until then I can easily afford even 6 to 8 times a month. I just hate having to go in, size things every time, ski just a bit, then drop them back. Triple the work compared to owning them.
Oh, and I am learning to really like skiing. I have no trouble with heat or cold now, the exercise is there but if it gets a bit much I can slow down or rest, and the downhill part... well, let me just say that if it looks to steep hiking is then in order. If nothing else, I know when I am going to fast and that I can handle a pretty hearty wipe-out. Better to hit the snow hard than to hit a tree or big rock. A few more times and I might be ready to take my camera. Ha, I did not fall down once this time. Then again, I was not skiing for nearly 5 hours either. We were on the skis for a good 2 hours, though, I would guess.
Good luck in whatever ventures you are up to. Have a great day!
Friday, January 8, 2010
Life in the slow lane.
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Trying to pick up some speed but between my heavy butt, little opportunity, and holding my breath to save some green, it is tricky. I have found that when I have major financials in the works, the rest of life can come to a screeching halt while I am seeing what will, can, should, and does happen. Yeah, money does dictate what I may and may not do. No, no, I am not poor. But I certainly am not rich. I could probably sell what of my life I have and obtain a decent penny, but it would be at the cost of all else. At least, as things currently sit.
At least I am allowing one major purchase, probably early this coming month. Skis, bindings, boots, and poles for cross country, telemark, touring/back country, or some such. I have yet to figure out what I want. I know what each does, mostly, though I would like real input from a real person. The internet is fine as far as it goes, but without the ability to answer MY questions after reading the bits, it just does not fill the whole void. I am hoping one set will see me to my short and medium term skiing goals of cross country, a bit of downhill, and maybe light trailblazing. What would be even better is to have it so that some of the equipment might work for more of the goals. As an example, maybe the poles and boots could work on all the setups I am viewing, or the skis would work with a mere change of bindings. I realize I might have to surrender optimal for subpar, but with versatility I would pay that price. Still, I want optimization in my gains and losses, and that will require a real ski guru. No complaints, this task gives me a task that is real, reasonable, doable, and present. Either this month or next, I should have the decisions made and either have the kit or have it on order.
Skiing is definitely on Sunday. I may have to call my friend Saturday afternoon. Actually, I he wants me to anyway. I plan on gifting him with some thermal long underwear and a thermal undershirt. He is planning on all cotton (two pair of jeans), and I do not want him getting sick or frostbitten. The more realistically comfortable and safe he is, the better the chance of a repeat performance. I will be going on my own as well, still, I do not wish to go solo all of the time. Hey, who knows, maybe he will strike it rich and be grateful. He is the new kid on the block, and I know what that is like. What I spend on him is quite minor, in the scheme of things too, so it is not a strain (buying a house, two rents, and such, those are strains).
Well, I need to get ready and visit the ski shop. And, the electric smoking device for my mother is in. So, it is off my buns and into the snowbank for me. Have a great one. Always remember, you have friends. Just ask. Just ask me if nothing else. I am not a great friend, more like a stuffed teddy bear. But uhrm, sometimes that is all people need. Auri voir. lols
.
Trying to pick up some speed but between my heavy butt, little opportunity, and holding my breath to save some green, it is tricky. I have found that when I have major financials in the works, the rest of life can come to a screeching halt while I am seeing what will, can, should, and does happen. Yeah, money does dictate what I may and may not do. No, no, I am not poor. But I certainly am not rich. I could probably sell what of my life I have and obtain a decent penny, but it would be at the cost of all else. At least, as things currently sit.
At least I am allowing one major purchase, probably early this coming month. Skis, bindings, boots, and poles for cross country, telemark, touring/back country, or some such. I have yet to figure out what I want. I know what each does, mostly, though I would like real input from a real person. The internet is fine as far as it goes, but without the ability to answer MY questions after reading the bits, it just does not fill the whole void. I am hoping one set will see me to my short and medium term skiing goals of cross country, a bit of downhill, and maybe light trailblazing. What would be even better is to have it so that some of the equipment might work for more of the goals. As an example, maybe the poles and boots could work on all the setups I am viewing, or the skis would work with a mere change of bindings. I realize I might have to surrender optimal for subpar, but with versatility I would pay that price. Still, I want optimization in my gains and losses, and that will require a real ski guru. No complaints, this task gives me a task that is real, reasonable, doable, and present. Either this month or next, I should have the decisions made and either have the kit or have it on order.
Skiing is definitely on Sunday. I may have to call my friend Saturday afternoon. Actually, I he wants me to anyway. I plan on gifting him with some thermal long underwear and a thermal undershirt. He is planning on all cotton (two pair of jeans), and I do not want him getting sick or frostbitten. The more realistically comfortable and safe he is, the better the chance of a repeat performance. I will be going on my own as well, still, I do not wish to go solo all of the time. Hey, who knows, maybe he will strike it rich and be grateful. He is the new kid on the block, and I know what that is like. What I spend on him is quite minor, in the scheme of things too, so it is not a strain (buying a house, two rents, and such, those are strains).
Well, I need to get ready and visit the ski shop. And, the electric smoking device for my mother is in. So, it is off my buns and into the snowbank for me. Have a great one. Always remember, you have friends. Just ask. Just ask me if nothing else. I am not a great friend, more like a stuffed teddy bear. But uhrm, sometimes that is all people need. Auri voir. lols
Another day, some progress.
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.
It looks like I will have a skiing partner for this weekend, just Sunday instead of Saturday. I will be checking the ski rental shop to see if they offer crossover bindings on some skis for rent. Bindings where the heel detaches or attaches for whichever terrain is present. If not, I may need to buy them. Downhill on cross country skis is a bit risky. Doable but risky. I will not lose weight with a broken leg or punctured lung, probably. :p
I keep trying to catch up with cleaning, but make more messes than I clean. Nothing major, I just prefer home cooked foods. I have the cooking down, but the cleaning... not so much. There is a dishwasher here, I just do not like the way things come out of them. Dreary, with spots, and I have not found how to fix that. I have not tried all of the soaps, but the ones I have do not succeed at their claims. Glasses (real glass) and silverware are my main issues. Those need to be (look) spotless. It is just one of those things for me.
I was at the tobacco shop today and it was odd. The people who work there look like hippies, give or take. Oh, they are nice. I always chat them up. The guys and dolls are rather nice and inviting, really (unlike they often were in Iowa City, though I did not mind that either mostly). But they were unhappy with the current prez. It seems he is doing things which is hurting their business. I guess the latest is deciding that flavorings for an electric cigarette are to be banned because they "entice children to smoke". Wait until they get the full load of what the crimi-in-charge is doing. They will beg for Bush, who did not care what they do so long as it is reasonable, or at least quiet. Who would have thunk? Well, other than those who think.
Well, that is all for today. Return tomorrow, or the day after, or... *sigh* My blogging has kflopped. (kflopped is a stolen and mutilated a bit German language thing) Have a great day, and weekend!
.
It looks like I will have a skiing partner for this weekend, just Sunday instead of Saturday. I will be checking the ski rental shop to see if they offer crossover bindings on some skis for rent. Bindings where the heel detaches or attaches for whichever terrain is present. If not, I may need to buy them. Downhill on cross country skis is a bit risky. Doable but risky. I will not lose weight with a broken leg or punctured lung, probably. :p
I keep trying to catch up with cleaning, but make more messes than I clean. Nothing major, I just prefer home cooked foods. I have the cooking down, but the cleaning... not so much. There is a dishwasher here, I just do not like the way things come out of them. Dreary, with spots, and I have not found how to fix that. I have not tried all of the soaps, but the ones I have do not succeed at their claims. Glasses (real glass) and silverware are my main issues. Those need to be (look) spotless. It is just one of those things for me.
I was at the tobacco shop today and it was odd. The people who work there look like hippies, give or take. Oh, they are nice. I always chat them up. The guys and dolls are rather nice and inviting, really (unlike they often were in Iowa City, though I did not mind that either mostly). But they were unhappy with the current prez. It seems he is doing things which is hurting their business. I guess the latest is deciding that flavorings for an electric cigarette are to be banned because they "entice children to smoke". Wait until they get the full load of what the crimi-in-charge is doing. They will beg for Bush, who did not care what they do so long as it is reasonable, or at least quiet. Who would have thunk? Well, other than those who think.
Well, that is all for today. Return tomorrow, or the day after, or... *sigh* My blogging has kflopped. (kflopped is a stolen and mutilated a bit German language thing) Have a great day, and weekend!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Life is going slowly.
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.
I had hoped to get more done this week than what has been done, but so goes life. Not just for me I believe. I have gotten out a few times, made some plans, and have some ongoing projects in the works. A few orders have been placed and are either on their way to final destinations or just coming in. The place is beginning to look normal again, give or take, after my visitor. Shopping has been done and cooking is resuming. Oh, and my body is back to normal and has been for a while.
I am not sure if my friend will be skiing this weekend. He was called to do something Saturday, so he cannot, though perhaps Sunday he says. I will rent the skis Saturday afternoon and go Sunday, alone if I must. He has full weeks, and when he is called on Saturday, I have doubts about trying to push one more day by skiing Sunday. We have limits. When I go to the ski shop this time, I am going to ask if they have crossover skis, good for cross country (heals are not bound) and down hill (heals are bound). I know they make such bindings, if I cannot remember what they are called. They may not rent them though, they are rather pricey. I will see if they offer them for sale in their shop. I would like to rig for trail breaking, but that is a bit heavy for standard trails and probably a huge leap out of my league at this point. So, I will probably go with standard to medium and worry about the heavy gear if I get to that point.
We have an inversion, locally, it seems. That, from what I gather and put simply, is when fog comes in and stays, low and thick. When the warning is red, heavy outdoor exercise is advised against as the air is bad. Vehicle exhaust, factory smoke, and such cannot escape. We have had that two or three times this winter. Since I am mostly a house pet, it does not concern me too much. I am not sure if this is a problem where I ski, though I should ask. Then again, there are other places to ski which would not be affected, if I am unfamiliar with them to date.
If I do not like it, I have mostly decided to let school go for the semester. With so many things happening this fall, another move, visit preparations, and a dozen other little things killing my time, sapping my energy, and causing general confusion, I am simply not in "the place" for it. As well, knowing I will have to move in the spring immediately after school would get out does not sound fun. I keep looking at it, trying to figure a way, though. I hate to let another semester pass, for a dozen reasons. But it might be quite foolish to attempt such an endeavor so off-kilter. One more slop shot and I will not have the temerity to return. I must be ready for a last run at the thing. Yes, and I do mean temerity. All medical has absolutely advised against me going to school in the first place. One more plug for the medical field, if you needed more about that from here.
I hope your winter is not too harsh? Bah, if it is, move! :p
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I had hoped to get more done this week than what has been done, but so goes life. Not just for me I believe. I have gotten out a few times, made some plans, and have some ongoing projects in the works. A few orders have been placed and are either on their way to final destinations or just coming in. The place is beginning to look normal again, give or take, after my visitor. Shopping has been done and cooking is resuming. Oh, and my body is back to normal and has been for a while.
I am not sure if my friend will be skiing this weekend. He was called to do something Saturday, so he cannot, though perhaps Sunday he says. I will rent the skis Saturday afternoon and go Sunday, alone if I must. He has full weeks, and when he is called on Saturday, I have doubts about trying to push one more day by skiing Sunday. We have limits. When I go to the ski shop this time, I am going to ask if they have crossover skis, good for cross country (heals are not bound) and down hill (heals are bound). I know they make such bindings, if I cannot remember what they are called. They may not rent them though, they are rather pricey. I will see if they offer them for sale in their shop. I would like to rig for trail breaking, but that is a bit heavy for standard trails and probably a huge leap out of my league at this point. So, I will probably go with standard to medium and worry about the heavy gear if I get to that point.
We have an inversion, locally, it seems. That, from what I gather and put simply, is when fog comes in and stays, low and thick. When the warning is red, heavy outdoor exercise is advised against as the air is bad. Vehicle exhaust, factory smoke, and such cannot escape. We have had that two or three times this winter. Since I am mostly a house pet, it does not concern me too much. I am not sure if this is a problem where I ski, though I should ask. Then again, there are other places to ski which would not be affected, if I am unfamiliar with them to date.
If I do not like it, I have mostly decided to let school go for the semester. With so many things happening this fall, another move, visit preparations, and a dozen other little things killing my time, sapping my energy, and causing general confusion, I am simply not in "the place" for it. As well, knowing I will have to move in the spring immediately after school would get out does not sound fun. I keep looking at it, trying to figure a way, though. I hate to let another semester pass, for a dozen reasons. But it might be quite foolish to attempt such an endeavor so off-kilter. One more slop shot and I will not have the temerity to return. I must be ready for a last run at the thing. Yes, and I do mean temerity. All medical has absolutely advised against me going to school in the first place. One more plug for the medical field, if you needed more about that from here.
I hope your winter is not too harsh? Bah, if it is, move! :p
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Cooking out.
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.
Well, we finally got out. My former neighbor could not make it, he had a tooth come out and needs to see the dentist. We drove up the Logan Canyon a bit, pulled into a camping area with fire rings, gathered wood, talked quite a bit, cooked brots and such, and then ate. My newer friend is a bit uptight, I think. He needs to learn how to relax, I mean really relax. He is always on edge. I wondered if it was his program, he is working on his doctorate. But I am beginning to think it is just him. If we get together, I think I might be able to show him how to take life as it comes. I stress on some things, but no longer allow myself to twitch at everything, or even most things. He sometimes thinks a snapping branch is somehow aimed at him. No, I am not laughing, mostly. I have been there, done that, and quit it over time.
I pray he gets talked into doing more with his teeth. He really needs about $1400 to $2000 and he will be set for, most likely, the rest of his life. He has been quite reluctant, and I think for a number of reasons. Now he has to step in and the dental shop may work with him a bit more. I might be able to put some decent money on this, next month. I want to start building a reserve for the house and in general, and this is my first easy money month, so if he will just get them to give him a real new quote, I will have something to work with. Depending, I would be willing to put $400 up front and promise $600 to $800 in $200 a month payments. It would help him a great deal.
My newer friend and I are planning on going skiing next weekend. I do not think he could handle the whole enchilada, then again I did not think I could. He is nervous about the downhill, but then so am I and I told him. I suggested we just do that first 1/3rd or so, and if still in good shape, do it twice. He likes the plan. He is a sharp guy, if he can learn to relax a bit, I think he might learn to enjoy life a bit more. Exercise sort of forces you to relax by taking the hot air right out of you. Ha! Works for me. Life looks different on the other side of physical exhaustion and comfort. Cold, tired, wet, and even a hot dog warmed over fire sounds good.
I ought to get a few things sorted out. And, actually, I think I will. Nothing can be done until Monday, save perhaps a little list being created. A few things are actually in the works, but the two big things would be contacting the school (and maybe getting in this term) and contacting the broker about a house. There are other things, but these are the most pressing or time sensitive.
That is it. A new year, a new day, and a new week dawning soon enough. Take care.
.
Well, we finally got out. My former neighbor could not make it, he had a tooth come out and needs to see the dentist. We drove up the Logan Canyon a bit, pulled into a camping area with fire rings, gathered wood, talked quite a bit, cooked brots and such, and then ate. My newer friend is a bit uptight, I think. He needs to learn how to relax, I mean really relax. He is always on edge. I wondered if it was his program, he is working on his doctorate. But I am beginning to think it is just him. If we get together, I think I might be able to show him how to take life as it comes. I stress on some things, but no longer allow myself to twitch at everything, or even most things. He sometimes thinks a snapping branch is somehow aimed at him. No, I am not laughing, mostly. I have been there, done that, and quit it over time.
I pray he gets talked into doing more with his teeth. He really needs about $1400 to $2000 and he will be set for, most likely, the rest of his life. He has been quite reluctant, and I think for a number of reasons. Now he has to step in and the dental shop may work with him a bit more. I might be able to put some decent money on this, next month. I want to start building a reserve for the house and in general, and this is my first easy money month, so if he will just get them to give him a real new quote, I will have something to work with. Depending, I would be willing to put $400 up front and promise $600 to $800 in $200 a month payments. It would help him a great deal.
My newer friend and I are planning on going skiing next weekend. I do not think he could handle the whole enchilada, then again I did not think I could. He is nervous about the downhill, but then so am I and I told him. I suggested we just do that first 1/3rd or so, and if still in good shape, do it twice. He likes the plan. He is a sharp guy, if he can learn to relax a bit, I think he might learn to enjoy life a bit more. Exercise sort of forces you to relax by taking the hot air right out of you. Ha! Works for me. Life looks different on the other side of physical exhaustion and comfort. Cold, tired, wet, and even a hot dog warmed over fire sounds good.
I ought to get a few things sorted out. And, actually, I think I will. Nothing can be done until Monday, save perhaps a little list being created. A few things are actually in the works, but the two big things would be contacting the school (and maybe getting in this term) and contacting the broker about a house. There are other things, but these are the most pressing or time sensitive.
That is it. A new year, a new day, and a new week dawning soon enough. Take care.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year!
.
.
I can only hope you can enjoy this day and celebrate in some fashion. If it is only real on paper, arbitrarily picked to some degree, it is still a second chance, a beginning, and the close of the last year. I thought to buy a bottle of champagne, nothing fancy but not cheap either. It was not to be had, I waited too late to look. I decided on a sherry. It was not my usual brand but it is a nicer one or so my wallet says.
Staying up until midnight may not be my thing. Nor, probably, will I consume the whole bottle. A few sips and I think I will be off to bed early tonight. So, cheers! And, good night.
.
I can only hope you can enjoy this day and celebrate in some fashion. If it is only real on paper, arbitrarily picked to some degree, it is still a second chance, a beginning, and the close of the last year. I thought to buy a bottle of champagne, nothing fancy but not cheap either. It was not to be had, I waited too late to look. I decided on a sherry. It was not my usual brand but it is a nicer one or so my wallet says.
Staying up until midnight may not be my thing. Nor, probably, will I consume the whole bottle. A few sips and I think I will be off to bed early tonight. So, cheers! And, good night.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
A drive, dinner, and success.
.
.
My friend and I started out about noon. He had called ahead to our first destination and there were primers available. Up to a box of 1,000 primers could be purchased at the first store, but they only had them in small pistol and a few magnum types. My friend purchased 500 of the CCI, all they had. He skipped on buying a whole box of Remington, though I think he gets a bit confused or is merely quietly sure and cannot always hear and or respond (to me or clerks).
We decided to go to Ogden, he wanted bullets for his 9 mm and I was hoping for large rifle and large pistol. Sure enough, and unusually, they had them. The first place we stopped though, was a mess. They initially said we could buy three little boxes (100 per little box) of the various types. We both thought they meant say, CCI and Winchester large pistol or large rifle. Not so. Good thing we checked our bags before we left the parking lot. Neither of us can use large magnum pistol or rifle. We did get 9 little boxes of large rifle (somehow) and 6 little boxes of large pistol between us. It was messy, they did not want to give us what we wanted, I felt tricked, and then they were not happy about the returns. Done and out of there though.
The next place offered a single box (1,000) large rifle, if meant for bench rifles they will work for any rifle. That was all they had, so I took them. The final place only offered large pistol primers, but we could buy 2,000 of them. I bought 2,000, he bought 1,000 and some powder. It was a fine day for getting my stock somewhat closer to my goals. He was not disappointed either, coming away with brass polisher, large and small pistol primers, bullets for his 9 mm, and more powder. I should be set up to begin when I get to a place where I can develop a reloading station of a more permanent nature. I will still look, just not as hungrily, and my list has grown noticeably shorter. *cheers*
So, we went to dinner at a place called Maddox. The place I have bragged up before. This time, when the waitress came by with the check, she asked how things were. I told her what I wrote here last time, that their steaks equal the next best steak I have eaten in my career of ribeye consumption, and at about 1/3rd the price. I thought it would end there, but she went and told the owner on me. Thankfully he did not come and visit, it would have embarrassed me. But she did say that my comment made his day and he knew the town I was talking about (Ithaca, N.Y.), and perhaps the steak house as well, though she was not sure. She thanked me for the compliment and I suggested that there was no need to thank me, that they had earned the compliment. She was a very happy waitress. A good end to a good day.
I am tired though. The Xterra drives well on the sometimes snowy, icy looking at times, roads, but I worry about other drivers. On the way back there was a warning to drive in four wheel drive or use chains. I shifted down to it and drove slower. I was very surprised to see little cars which could not possibly have had four wheel drive whiz by me. No skin off my teeth, I decided to go slow and low. But driving with drivers like that on roads like that, and worse in the city, wears me out more than standard driving. Home safe and sound, as I said, I am a bit tired but elated to be in better standing regarding primers as well.
Good night.
.
My friend and I started out about noon. He had called ahead to our first destination and there were primers available. Up to a box of 1,000 primers could be purchased at the first store, but they only had them in small pistol and a few magnum types. My friend purchased 500 of the CCI, all they had. He skipped on buying a whole box of Remington, though I think he gets a bit confused or is merely quietly sure and cannot always hear and or respond (to me or clerks).
We decided to go to Ogden, he wanted bullets for his 9 mm and I was hoping for large rifle and large pistol. Sure enough, and unusually, they had them. The first place we stopped though, was a mess. They initially said we could buy three little boxes (100 per little box) of the various types. We both thought they meant say, CCI and Winchester large pistol or large rifle. Not so. Good thing we checked our bags before we left the parking lot. Neither of us can use large magnum pistol or rifle. We did get 9 little boxes of large rifle (somehow) and 6 little boxes of large pistol between us. It was messy, they did not want to give us what we wanted, I felt tricked, and then they were not happy about the returns. Done and out of there though.
The next place offered a single box (1,000) large rifle, if meant for bench rifles they will work for any rifle. That was all they had, so I took them. The final place only offered large pistol primers, but we could buy 2,000 of them. I bought 2,000, he bought 1,000 and some powder. It was a fine day for getting my stock somewhat closer to my goals. He was not disappointed either, coming away with brass polisher, large and small pistol primers, bullets for his 9 mm, and more powder. I should be set up to begin when I get to a place where I can develop a reloading station of a more permanent nature. I will still look, just not as hungrily, and my list has grown noticeably shorter. *cheers*
So, we went to dinner at a place called Maddox. The place I have bragged up before. This time, when the waitress came by with the check, she asked how things were. I told her what I wrote here last time, that their steaks equal the next best steak I have eaten in my career of ribeye consumption, and at about 1/3rd the price. I thought it would end there, but she went and told the owner on me. Thankfully he did not come and visit, it would have embarrassed me. But she did say that my comment made his day and he knew the town I was talking about (Ithaca, N.Y.), and perhaps the steak house as well, though she was not sure. She thanked me for the compliment and I suggested that there was no need to thank me, that they had earned the compliment. She was a very happy waitress. A good end to a good day.
I am tired though. The Xterra drives well on the sometimes snowy, icy looking at times, roads, but I worry about other drivers. On the way back there was a warning to drive in four wheel drive or use chains. I shifted down to it and drove slower. I was very surprised to see little cars which could not possibly have had four wheel drive whiz by me. No skin off my teeth, I decided to go slow and low. But driving with drivers like that on roads like that, and worse in the city, wears me out more than standard driving. Home safe and sound, as I said, I am a bit tired but elated to be in better standing regarding primers as well.
Good night.
A new day, a little more going on.
.
.
Sleep is good, lately. Neither too much nor too little. Timing, as usual, can be a little off and yet it has generally been a day schedule. I woke unusually early this morning, rising at about 03:00 hours almost on the dot. I have simply been tinkering in that game I enjoy so much, filling out the last bit on my newest character. When that character is completed, I will have 8 characters who have done all missions in 3 campaigns (campaigns are equivalent to games, but are connected), plus an add on which might also be called a campaign. Though the add on is shorter, it is a good deal more difficult, evening it all out.
My friend will be contacting some sources of primers today. More local sources. If they are not available, we will travel. Heck, even if they are available, we may well hit the road just to see what else we can find. He likes to get out, as do I. The summer is easier for him, this cold is a bit much these days. I think if he could find a way south, he would take it. The difficulty of moving and the proximity to family and those who know him make such a venture, at his age and in his health, a non-starter. He has seen other places, lived in California, but he is where he needs to be to finish his days, I think.
I am doing a bit better with my lady friend's visit completed. As minor as it seems, it was an epic event for me. Cleaning, purchasing, rental, tickets, luggage, cooking, and being a host used every resource and trick to get myself going I could use. I must be honest, I did not end up doing everything I had hoped, some of my plans simply did not work, and not all of my cleaning chores were completed. But it was enough. She called me this morning to talk about the luggage and some other things and to, once again, thank me. And, that does make it worth it. Imagine being well and truly alone on this planet, because of your nature and history and sex. She is in a place few but fools could envy.
However, this was a one time thing. If she wishes to come out in the future, she will not be a guest but merely a visiting friend. She will be on her own a good bit of the time. I will neither cook specifically for her nor wait on her. I will do this once for each person who visits me, their first visit. After that, they are simple guests and will need to make due on their own to some larger extent. I will, of course, provide provisions. And, when I cook, they will be welcome to my offering. My mother is probably the one exception. Not that I will be subservient on her visits, merely that we have a long time relationship and it does not fit in these systems. God sort of created that parent child thing, we just developed our own system around that, and so it is.
With the stress of the visit and Christmas over, mostly, I am finding that there is a little more going on for me. I am beginning to function better and hope to be up and running a bit better in no time. I might even begin looking for the last bit of paperwork to take in to school and see about all that stuff. I am a bit nervous about it all, but school for engineers is maddening to say the least. This spring or next fall, or to put it another way soon or late, I will be back in school if they will accept me. I want it like someone with appendicitis wants surgery. Very much so and not at all. Ha!
Well, a quick nap before my friend calls and I should be in good order. Oh, I just checked. I have gained 5 pounds over Christmas (so far). I doubt if I will gain more as I am running out of goodies. I am back to drinking regular Coke, but I have been doing that for several months. I tried to use it as a method of gaining energy and because nothing else tasted good (along with the fact I was running out of CO2 cylinders for the water, was worried about money, and was having difficulty keeping bottled water on tap as I was not able to get out as much as I had been). Diabetes must be insanely out of order, but then it always was. The medicine, as I have said, did nothing or caused drops below 60. I know, I know, fasting. But I do that from time to time simply due to the nature of my stress exhaustion. Two and three days can pass without so much as a cracker passing the palate.
Anyway... nap time. Have a great day.
.
Sleep is good, lately. Neither too much nor too little. Timing, as usual, can be a little off and yet it has generally been a day schedule. I woke unusually early this morning, rising at about 03:00 hours almost on the dot. I have simply been tinkering in that game I enjoy so much, filling out the last bit on my newest character. When that character is completed, I will have 8 characters who have done all missions in 3 campaigns (campaigns are equivalent to games, but are connected), plus an add on which might also be called a campaign. Though the add on is shorter, it is a good deal more difficult, evening it all out.
My friend will be contacting some sources of primers today. More local sources. If they are not available, we will travel. Heck, even if they are available, we may well hit the road just to see what else we can find. He likes to get out, as do I. The summer is easier for him, this cold is a bit much these days. I think if he could find a way south, he would take it. The difficulty of moving and the proximity to family and those who know him make such a venture, at his age and in his health, a non-starter. He has seen other places, lived in California, but he is where he needs to be to finish his days, I think.
I am doing a bit better with my lady friend's visit completed. As minor as it seems, it was an epic event for me. Cleaning, purchasing, rental, tickets, luggage, cooking, and being a host used every resource and trick to get myself going I could use. I must be honest, I did not end up doing everything I had hoped, some of my plans simply did not work, and not all of my cleaning chores were completed. But it was enough. She called me this morning to talk about the luggage and some other things and to, once again, thank me. And, that does make it worth it. Imagine being well and truly alone on this planet, because of your nature and history and sex. She is in a place few but fools could envy.
However, this was a one time thing. If she wishes to come out in the future, she will not be a guest but merely a visiting friend. She will be on her own a good bit of the time. I will neither cook specifically for her nor wait on her. I will do this once for each person who visits me, their first visit. After that, they are simple guests and will need to make due on their own to some larger extent. I will, of course, provide provisions. And, when I cook, they will be welcome to my offering. My mother is probably the one exception. Not that I will be subservient on her visits, merely that we have a long time relationship and it does not fit in these systems. God sort of created that parent child thing, we just developed our own system around that, and so it is.
With the stress of the visit and Christmas over, mostly, I am finding that there is a little more going on for me. I am beginning to function better and hope to be up and running a bit better in no time. I might even begin looking for the last bit of paperwork to take in to school and see about all that stuff. I am a bit nervous about it all, but school for engineers is maddening to say the least. This spring or next fall, or to put it another way soon or late, I will be back in school if they will accept me. I want it like someone with appendicitis wants surgery. Very much so and not at all. Ha!
Well, a quick nap before my friend calls and I should be in good order. Oh, I just checked. I have gained 5 pounds over Christmas (so far). I doubt if I will gain more as I am running out of goodies. I am back to drinking regular Coke, but I have been doing that for several months. I tried to use it as a method of gaining energy and because nothing else tasted good (along with the fact I was running out of CO2 cylinders for the water, was worried about money, and was having difficulty keeping bottled water on tap as I was not able to get out as much as I had been). Diabetes must be insanely out of order, but then it always was. The medicine, as I have said, did nothing or caused drops below 60. I know, I know, fasting. But I do that from time to time simply due to the nature of my stress exhaustion. Two and three days can pass without so much as a cracker passing the palate.
Anyway... nap time. Have a great day.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Skiing may be on.
.
.
I spoke with a friend of mine, and I do believe he wishes to partake in my newly found adventure. He is very interested in losing some weight. To that end he is considering going vegetarian (I will work on that, but for the moment...). I asked if he would still indulge in my twice monthly meals, as I have bone-in ribeye and a very nice roast in the queue. He did not have to think long, suggesting that it would be rude (or something) not to indulge. In any case, I think the skiing will help both of us lose some serious weight.
This weekend we will be doing a cookout, brots and fixings, cooked over an open fire somewhere in Logan Canyon, I believe. I will bring chips, sauerkraut, and soda. I took him and his roommate some of my Mom's Christmas breads and cookies and gave another friend some. It was too much for one guy to eat and I hated the thought of her hard work going to waist. It felt like being back in the Navy... when someone received a care package from home, they would split it out with their bestest buds. I also gifted them with a little money to help with a chainsaw they want (for the cookouts). I think the simple gesture really was meaningful to them. All good, all good. My first months here were quite rough financially and in most ways, I understand.
My lady friend received her luggage almost immediately. She was quite thankful, and yet will remember the losing of the luggage for a long time. Hopefully too, though, she will remember that they remedied it rather quickly and painlessly both times. The last time, somehow, it had not even been tagged and they found it and returned it that same day (they now deliver the luggage right to the front door, hotel, or where ever indicated). I hope the trip gave her some time to enjoy a little life, to imagine a better life, and to work towards it. I worry about her but I can only lead a horse to water, with ideas, the horse has to drink all on her own. I am not suggesting a relationship other than what we have, only some things she could do to not live in such a retched financial and social state.
Life is definitely good here. I need to get back on track toward more improvements in my life. Getting out skiing and cooking out will help. Maybe checking in on school to see where I fit and whether I should wait or not might be good too. Though still a bit stiff and sore, I have found that sitting around is much worse than getting busy, even if I am tired. As I said, whether I do things or not, I am tired anyway. So I might as well get out and do something, anything. This Wednesday, my shooting friend and I are going to look around for primers. I am getting low and he is pretty much out. If we cannot find them locally, we will head for Ogden and see what they have in stock. Lucky or not, we will at least be getting out and doing something.
Yes, life is good. Be well.
.
I spoke with a friend of mine, and I do believe he wishes to partake in my newly found adventure. He is very interested in losing some weight. To that end he is considering going vegetarian (I will work on that, but for the moment...). I asked if he would still indulge in my twice monthly meals, as I have bone-in ribeye and a very nice roast in the queue. He did not have to think long, suggesting that it would be rude (or something) not to indulge. In any case, I think the skiing will help both of us lose some serious weight.
This weekend we will be doing a cookout, brots and fixings, cooked over an open fire somewhere in Logan Canyon, I believe. I will bring chips, sauerkraut, and soda. I took him and his roommate some of my Mom's Christmas breads and cookies and gave another friend some. It was too much for one guy to eat and I hated the thought of her hard work going to waist. It felt like being back in the Navy... when someone received a care package from home, they would split it out with their bestest buds. I also gifted them with a little money to help with a chainsaw they want (for the cookouts). I think the simple gesture really was meaningful to them. All good, all good. My first months here were quite rough financially and in most ways, I understand.
My lady friend received her luggage almost immediately. She was quite thankful, and yet will remember the losing of the luggage for a long time. Hopefully too, though, she will remember that they remedied it rather quickly and painlessly both times. The last time, somehow, it had not even been tagged and they found it and returned it that same day (they now deliver the luggage right to the front door, hotel, or where ever indicated). I hope the trip gave her some time to enjoy a little life, to imagine a better life, and to work towards it. I worry about her but I can only lead a horse to water, with ideas, the horse has to drink all on her own. I am not suggesting a relationship other than what we have, only some things she could do to not live in such a retched financial and social state.
Life is definitely good here. I need to get back on track toward more improvements in my life. Getting out skiing and cooking out will help. Maybe checking in on school to see where I fit and whether I should wait or not might be good too. Though still a bit stiff and sore, I have found that sitting around is much worse than getting busy, even if I am tired. As I said, whether I do things or not, I am tired anyway. So I might as well get out and do something, anything. This Wednesday, my shooting friend and I are going to look around for primers. I am getting low and he is pretty much out. If we cannot find them locally, we will head for Ogden and see what they have in stock. Lucky or not, we will at least be getting out and doing something.
Yes, life is good. Be well.
Monday, December 28, 2009
Merry Christmas, if late as usual!
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.
I had meant to post a Christmas themed something a few days before Christmas itself, however, life tended toward way to busy.
My lady friend was probably going to be visiting, I had gifts to buy, food to arrange, a vehicle and place to clean, and a few other odds and ends. I thought I had it pretty well in line. Thinking and reality sometimes diverge at the most inconvenient of moments. Some tasks which I had thought would take an hour, or even a half an hour optimally, ended up taking 3 or more. Tasks I had thought done came undone. Gifts I thought would have taken but a visit to one store... *sigh* Some gifts have yet to be located!
On the good side, I was thanked by the Queen of Darkness, for such a wonderful time. She did not thank me once, she thanked me in and throughout and even after the visit. I remembered her favorite foods and her requested foods, I took her comfort and interests to heart, I ensured she had what she needed and some of what she wanted, my gifts were appropriate and appreciated (save one, but uhrm, I came out ahead on that one and it is bound to happen). That in spite of us having vigorous disagreements about the same old things. Though I think I "expanded" her mind on these things too. She was getting upset, as she usually does, so I suggested she attempt to not take the debates personally. I have no difficulty with becoming passionate, I do that myself. But I do not need her to agree with me, nor do I care what she believes if I will not tolerate her version of intolerance without a struggle. I think she is actually thinking about my techniques of dealing with such hardy arguments. I fling and forget, give or take, there are no wounds to heal at the conclusion. She seems to get in fits. Good thing SHE does not have high blood pressure. Ha!
And more, I did successfully get her out to "cross-country" ski. I use quotation marks because our cross-country journey was more like hiking, mountain hiking at that. Our trip took us over 4 1/2 hours, but closer to 5 hours, to complete. Half of it was up a mountain, the rest was downhill skiing, neither is quite what I think of when I hear "cross-country" skiing. I swear, she really does want to see me dead. I found first a second wind, then a third, and the last quarter of the trip up the mountain I was going on faith alone. Downhill, I knew, if I could survive it, would be much quicker, a good deal easier, and much more dangerous regarding broken limbs, body, and such.
I did amazingly well as inactive as I have been since my friend is not so interested in getting out in the winter weather. I would guess we did about 4 or 5 miles up and in, and then back that same amount. Quite an amazing deed, for my condition. I fell less than she did. I fell about 7 times. The last one was fancy though. It was on one of the steepest of the downhill sections and near the end of the downhill part. I meant to do it because I was pretty sure I could not make the slight curve of the path ahead and did not wish to go off the path into a tree or rock. I hit very hard, at about 20 miles per hour if I had to guess. I landed on my side as I had intended, bounced into the air several times, and rolled while bouncing so that my skis did what I call helicopters. Meh, I was built well. I am, so far, only muscle sore in the legs from the exhertion, no bruises and the elbow I thought might just be tenderized is quite fine instead. The fall(s) did not damage my corporeal goods.
I really was correct about my bear like nature. I did not wear a hat or other ear coverings. The weather was sunny (and actually shining for the top 1/3 of the run) but below freezing. No frostbite. I think I will do more skiing, now that I know where to rent (and only about $12 for a day), where to go to ski, and have learned a bit, once I recover a bit that is. I will not go quite so far though. I would like to practice that bottom third, where the steepest run is. Both for getting up it and for learning to do the downhill part. I figure, if I do that section, if I am tired I can go home, have lunch, and maybe hit it later. If I am not tiring, I can hit it two or three times. I get the most demanding section right there near the bottom. Plus, if I really break something, I have an easier time getting help from other skiers and from medical. Though too, my pride will often be bruised more than anything else.
No camera went with, quite by memory failure. It turns out that was a good thing. The camera would most likely be no more. As I learn, and become sure of myself, I will bring it along at some point. I know, promises promises. And, true, it may end up being broken, but understand that it is in my list, just like the skiing. We will see. I have asked one of my newer friends if he would like to go. It would be good to have someone to go with from time to time. Though, as I have learned in the past, it is best not to rely on friends.
Nothing religious this Christmas, other than loving people who do not necessarily love me. She really does detest me, you know. She does not understand that I am offering her a chance to love someone between her neighbor and her enemy. If she can see her way to it, she has more of a chance at life. I, too, get the idea that my former neighbor really does not like me at times. He was from a rough crew, he was always trouble I think, and he does not understand or appreciate my lawful, religious, respectful nature. If he likes me, he likes me situationally, partially, something. But inside, too, I sense a deep scorn or resentment. He does not like rules, much like my lady friend. Never mind, that is not the point.
I do, sometimes, feel quite alone. No, not lonely, though from time to time there is that. Simply, I feel as if there is no one on the same page. Conservatives who hate cops (I understand some skepticism, but damn it, not hate), or Christians who believe the Church (the fundamental guidance, not necessarily one particular priest/preacher/minister or congregation) is a bit dated or not really a factor in their lives, and such are supposed to be mine so are very frustrating. Liberals do not really get me upset, I understand they are completely blind. It is rare to find someone with a simple honest view of the world and themselves in it. Most seem to want to do only what they wish to do, and often that is to make themselves feel good, never mind the rules, laws, traditions, or such. I believe in these things, these rules and such, so long as they are just and right and follow God's wishes. I understand too, that as broken as I am, I can still lead. As such, I choose to lead in the right direction as far as I am able. If I am leading an army or just myself, it is a lonely place.
Well, it was a good Christmas. A familiar face, a few gifts out the door and in, and a new sport started. I hope your Christmas was something you can enjoy for the year and which will make up for all the advertisements in poor taste, silly songs, and "ho, ho, ho"'s you have had to endure. I suppose I am a bit of a grinch, that way, but are you not? :p Yes, a little family if only on the phone, some familiar faces, a few gifts, and just maybe a good bit of thought about what Christmas really is, the beginning of the potential of heaven on earth and, truly, good will to all mankind. And further, a little look at what heaven might look like, if all goes relatively smoothly. Merry (late) Christmas. And, a Happy (early) New Year!
.
I had meant to post a Christmas themed something a few days before Christmas itself, however, life tended toward way to busy.
My lady friend was probably going to be visiting, I had gifts to buy, food to arrange, a vehicle and place to clean, and a few other odds and ends. I thought I had it pretty well in line. Thinking and reality sometimes diverge at the most inconvenient of moments. Some tasks which I had thought would take an hour, or even a half an hour optimally, ended up taking 3 or more. Tasks I had thought done came undone. Gifts I thought would have taken but a visit to one store... *sigh* Some gifts have yet to be located!
On the good side, I was thanked by the Queen of Darkness, for such a wonderful time. She did not thank me once, she thanked me in and throughout and even after the visit. I remembered her favorite foods and her requested foods, I took her comfort and interests to heart, I ensured she had what she needed and some of what she wanted, my gifts were appropriate and appreciated (save one, but uhrm, I came out ahead on that one and it is bound to happen). That in spite of us having vigorous disagreements about the same old things. Though I think I "expanded" her mind on these things too. She was getting upset, as she usually does, so I suggested she attempt to not take the debates personally. I have no difficulty with becoming passionate, I do that myself. But I do not need her to agree with me, nor do I care what she believes if I will not tolerate her version of intolerance without a struggle. I think she is actually thinking about my techniques of dealing with such hardy arguments. I fling and forget, give or take, there are no wounds to heal at the conclusion. She seems to get in fits. Good thing SHE does not have high blood pressure. Ha!
And more, I did successfully get her out to "cross-country" ski. I use quotation marks because our cross-country journey was more like hiking, mountain hiking at that. Our trip took us over 4 1/2 hours, but closer to 5 hours, to complete. Half of it was up a mountain, the rest was downhill skiing, neither is quite what I think of when I hear "cross-country" skiing. I swear, she really does want to see me dead. I found first a second wind, then a third, and the last quarter of the trip up the mountain I was going on faith alone. Downhill, I knew, if I could survive it, would be much quicker, a good deal easier, and much more dangerous regarding broken limbs, body, and such.
I did amazingly well as inactive as I have been since my friend is not so interested in getting out in the winter weather. I would guess we did about 4 or 5 miles up and in, and then back that same amount. Quite an amazing deed, for my condition. I fell less than she did. I fell about 7 times. The last one was fancy though. It was on one of the steepest of the downhill sections and near the end of the downhill part. I meant to do it because I was pretty sure I could not make the slight curve of the path ahead and did not wish to go off the path into a tree or rock. I hit very hard, at about 20 miles per hour if I had to guess. I landed on my side as I had intended, bounced into the air several times, and rolled while bouncing so that my skis did what I call helicopters. Meh, I was built well. I am, so far, only muscle sore in the legs from the exhertion, no bruises and the elbow I thought might just be tenderized is quite fine instead. The fall(s) did not damage my corporeal goods.
I really was correct about my bear like nature. I did not wear a hat or other ear coverings. The weather was sunny (and actually shining for the top 1/3 of the run) but below freezing. No frostbite. I think I will do more skiing, now that I know where to rent (and only about $12 for a day), where to go to ski, and have learned a bit, once I recover a bit that is. I will not go quite so far though. I would like to practice that bottom third, where the steepest run is. Both for getting up it and for learning to do the downhill part. I figure, if I do that section, if I am tired I can go home, have lunch, and maybe hit it later. If I am not tiring, I can hit it two or three times. I get the most demanding section right there near the bottom. Plus, if I really break something, I have an easier time getting help from other skiers and from medical. Though too, my pride will often be bruised more than anything else.
No camera went with, quite by memory failure. It turns out that was a good thing. The camera would most likely be no more. As I learn, and become sure of myself, I will bring it along at some point. I know, promises promises. And, true, it may end up being broken, but understand that it is in my list, just like the skiing. We will see. I have asked one of my newer friends if he would like to go. It would be good to have someone to go with from time to time. Though, as I have learned in the past, it is best not to rely on friends.
Nothing religious this Christmas, other than loving people who do not necessarily love me. She really does detest me, you know. She does not understand that I am offering her a chance to love someone between her neighbor and her enemy. If she can see her way to it, she has more of a chance at life. I, too, get the idea that my former neighbor really does not like me at times. He was from a rough crew, he was always trouble I think, and he does not understand or appreciate my lawful, religious, respectful nature. If he likes me, he likes me situationally, partially, something. But inside, too, I sense a deep scorn or resentment. He does not like rules, much like my lady friend. Never mind, that is not the point.
I do, sometimes, feel quite alone. No, not lonely, though from time to time there is that. Simply, I feel as if there is no one on the same page. Conservatives who hate cops (I understand some skepticism, but damn it, not hate), or Christians who believe the Church (the fundamental guidance, not necessarily one particular priest/preacher/minister or congregation) is a bit dated or not really a factor in their lives, and such are supposed to be mine so are very frustrating. Liberals do not really get me upset, I understand they are completely blind. It is rare to find someone with a simple honest view of the world and themselves in it. Most seem to want to do only what they wish to do, and often that is to make themselves feel good, never mind the rules, laws, traditions, or such. I believe in these things, these rules and such, so long as they are just and right and follow God's wishes. I understand too, that as broken as I am, I can still lead. As such, I choose to lead in the right direction as far as I am able. If I am leading an army or just myself, it is a lonely place.
Well, it was a good Christmas. A familiar face, a few gifts out the door and in, and a new sport started. I hope your Christmas was something you can enjoy for the year and which will make up for all the advertisements in poor taste, silly songs, and "ho, ho, ho"'s you have had to endure. I suppose I am a bit of a grinch, that way, but are you not? :p Yes, a little family if only on the phone, some familiar faces, a few gifts, and just maybe a good bit of thought about what Christmas really is, the beginning of the potential of heaven on earth and, truly, good will to all mankind. And further, a little look at what heaven might look like, if all goes relatively smoothly. Merry (late) Christmas. And, a Happy (early) New Year!
Saturday, December 19, 2009
How can time slip by so slowly so quickly?
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I hate when I am both holding my breath and pushing forward, but it happens. These times are so odd in that time teams to be barely creeping forward at a rocket's pace. Uhrm, yes, that about covers it. Yeah, no I do not understand it.
Less than a week and my lady friend, unless she cancels, will be here. There are odds and ends to do if nothing large. I must remember to get the trash and recycling out next week the day before she arrives. I forgot this week. Then again, it is winter, anything I put in it will freeze so there is no smell. As well, neither would be more than 2/3rds full even if I pack in a bit more. I use little so throw away little. There are a few details I need to tend, one timed to earlier in the day she arrives but most just odds and ends to be done or not. A quick once around general clean on the day before she is set to arrive should see me in good stead, if I wanted to stop there.
I received a call yesterday from my newer former neighbor. He and his friend were set to go into the canyon to cook brats and asked if I would like to go. I agreed, asked what I might bring, and was told he would call at noon. He did not call at noon, so... I am sure he will let me know what happened sometime. I, for my sake, am not worried. If he does it three times in easy memory, I just do not agree to his ideas. I will still invite him over, I just will not accept invitations. Life is really easy, very easy, if one does not generate emotional attachments to everything and lives simply.
Well, enough about me. Since I do not know about you, how about we close with a prayer? For you of course, silly people! :P
Have a great day.
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I hate when I am both holding my breath and pushing forward, but it happens. These times are so odd in that time teams to be barely creeping forward at a rocket's pace. Uhrm, yes, that about covers it. Yeah, no I do not understand it.
Less than a week and my lady friend, unless she cancels, will be here. There are odds and ends to do if nothing large. I must remember to get the trash and recycling out next week the day before she arrives. I forgot this week. Then again, it is winter, anything I put in it will freeze so there is no smell. As well, neither would be more than 2/3rds full even if I pack in a bit more. I use little so throw away little. There are a few details I need to tend, one timed to earlier in the day she arrives but most just odds and ends to be done or not. A quick once around general clean on the day before she is set to arrive should see me in good stead, if I wanted to stop there.
I received a call yesterday from my newer former neighbor. He and his friend were set to go into the canyon to cook brats and asked if I would like to go. I agreed, asked what I might bring, and was told he would call at noon. He did not call at noon, so... I am sure he will let me know what happened sometime. I, for my sake, am not worried. If he does it three times in easy memory, I just do not agree to his ideas. I will still invite him over, I just will not accept invitations. Life is really easy, very easy, if one does not generate emotional attachments to everything and lives simply.
Well, enough about me. Since I do not know about you, how about we close with a prayer? For you of course, silly people! :P
Have a great day.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Living on the edge.
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I am staying busy even when there is little to do. I may actually be pushing some things a bit. Physical activity, however, is down. Getting out and doing much is limited by a foot of snow on the ground and having no one around to go out into it. Though today we went shooting. The thermometers said 36 as a high, but it felt more like 40 or 50 to me. With little snow melt, though, I suspect the thermometers were correct. I need to find friends who do go out in the cold and know what to do. I am geared for it, should I find an opening.
I have about 5 days until my lady friend arrives. Things are mostly in order. I am still looking for my mother's Christmas present. It is a frustrating search, oddly. I visited the local (or one of them, there may be others) butcher shop today. It actually has two sides, a Mexican side where only one of the people there spoke English, and and English speaking side. It appears to be the same store, with two different shops attached to one main butcher area. Weird, but so some things go. We accidentally went into the Mexican side, as my friend thought that is where we were supposed to go. He had not been there for years, everything had changed. The American "store" section of the place did not exist when he was last there. Though I will do most of my shopping in the American section, the Mexican section had certain cuts for ribs (oddly often referred to as English cut) which the American section did not so I will probably do some shopping in the Mexican section.
What have I been doing? Gaming. I do with 8 different characters in a day what some people cannot do with one character. It is an online multi-player game. WoW was ok, but brutal and as friendly as a knife in the back. This game is a little more for casual, or more casual, players. It can get as technical as you like but everything does not require technical play. Yes, I know, children's games. Yet, I do not think children could honestly play this game well. Certainly they could not master 8 types of different playing. It does keep me busy, keep me awake, make my mind, memory, and logic work (you have to figure things out when your typical way does not work). Oh well, it is something. If too, it is addictive. I have a few goals and then I will back down play again.
That is life in a nutshell. A few more things to plan for Christmas, a little more cleaning, sorting, and storing, perhaps a little greenery for the place and season, and then I am set. As is, I am mostly coasting until my friend arrives.
Have a great day!
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I am staying busy even when there is little to do. I may actually be pushing some things a bit. Physical activity, however, is down. Getting out and doing much is limited by a foot of snow on the ground and having no one around to go out into it. Though today we went shooting. The thermometers said 36 as a high, but it felt more like 40 or 50 to me. With little snow melt, though, I suspect the thermometers were correct. I need to find friends who do go out in the cold and know what to do. I am geared for it, should I find an opening.
I have about 5 days until my lady friend arrives. Things are mostly in order. I am still looking for my mother's Christmas present. It is a frustrating search, oddly. I visited the local (or one of them, there may be others) butcher shop today. It actually has two sides, a Mexican side where only one of the people there spoke English, and and English speaking side. It appears to be the same store, with two different shops attached to one main butcher area. Weird, but so some things go. We accidentally went into the Mexican side, as my friend thought that is where we were supposed to go. He had not been there for years, everything had changed. The American "store" section of the place did not exist when he was last there. Though I will do most of my shopping in the American section, the Mexican section had certain cuts for ribs (oddly often referred to as English cut) which the American section did not so I will probably do some shopping in the Mexican section.
What have I been doing? Gaming. I do with 8 different characters in a day what some people cannot do with one character. It is an online multi-player game. WoW was ok, but brutal and as friendly as a knife in the back. This game is a little more for casual, or more casual, players. It can get as technical as you like but everything does not require technical play. Yes, I know, children's games. Yet, I do not think children could honestly play this game well. Certainly they could not master 8 types of different playing. It does keep me busy, keep me awake, make my mind, memory, and logic work (you have to figure things out when your typical way does not work). Oh well, it is something. If too, it is addictive. I have a few goals and then I will back down play again.
That is life in a nutshell. A few more things to plan for Christmas, a little more cleaning, sorting, and storing, perhaps a little greenery for the place and season, and then I am set. As is, I am mostly coasting until my friend arrives.
Have a great day!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Cleaning, today, I think.
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Today is not a fantastic day. I cannot seem to get it all working again. And yet, I never simply stop working. I will clean the bathrooms today, down to the shine. Then I will be very careful in their use and upkeep so only a small amount of work will be needed when my friend visits. If that goes swiftly and well, and it might, I will then begin working out what goes to storage and doing a bit of laundry from the old place. While I am at it, I will probably make something tasty for dinner, tasty but simple. Pasta and hamburger, a few side items, some spice, and a little imagination go a long way. As well, I suppose it is time to shovel. Either today or tomorrow. Then again, it is forecast to be in the 40's all week, so procrastination may be my friend.
Days and nights are still not straightened out. I suppose with me, there is a 50% chance of sleep in any forecast at any time of the day. Still, I get up when I can and I work as I may. I am learning to do a great deal more. I think the climate, altitude, mountains, and being nearly in my own house have lead me to do more. Actually owning my own house will expand that a great deal. There are things in this house which give me ideas, like a fully tiled shower area, little details about the place, and the sense that with a little work and money, one can turn a house into a very nice home, without being flashy or silly too.
Three Christmas presents have been purchased. Only one remains, though I will send a little money along with that one too. One gift will wait until the person it is for may choose it, or something else she likes. Since she just bought a canoe, and she likes the better gear, I have a catalog with some items she may choose from. It's good gear and it's spiffy.
The things causing me to drag, at this point, are school, house, getting my banking switched over, and getting this place in order for my visitor. There always seems to be more on my plate than I can really do, and much of it is out of my hands. But that is as it is. Pushing does not seem to help, either them or me. Life could be good here, or I should say, it could be even better. I am seeing my way to that.
Just yesterday my former neighbor and myself were out doing a bit of shopping. We met another shooter who just moved here from southern Utah. We talked guns and life for a good hour, right there in Walmart! Should have gone for coffee, but why? Anyway, I took his number. I think we might end up with a small shooter's club. Hunters, shooters, and reloaders weclome, to be sure. Of course, we are all of the liberal bent. Ha! Any guy who buys a gun for his girlfriend, and she likes it, is good in my book. So, I am beginning to network. Oh, and I told my former neighbor this too, if this new guy has a gal, she will know other women. Odd the way that works. And, if they come for a meal some time, and his gal sees poor lonely guys, she might just figure things out. Women are like that, sometimes. Anyway, it is a thought. Capitalism, for me, does not stop at the store or bank!
Well, that is that for now. Stay warm and safe.
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Today is not a fantastic day. I cannot seem to get it all working again. And yet, I never simply stop working. I will clean the bathrooms today, down to the shine. Then I will be very careful in their use and upkeep so only a small amount of work will be needed when my friend visits. If that goes swiftly and well, and it might, I will then begin working out what goes to storage and doing a bit of laundry from the old place. While I am at it, I will probably make something tasty for dinner, tasty but simple. Pasta and hamburger, a few side items, some spice, and a little imagination go a long way. As well, I suppose it is time to shovel. Either today or tomorrow. Then again, it is forecast to be in the 40's all week, so procrastination may be my friend.
Days and nights are still not straightened out. I suppose with me, there is a 50% chance of sleep in any forecast at any time of the day. Still, I get up when I can and I work as I may. I am learning to do a great deal more. I think the climate, altitude, mountains, and being nearly in my own house have lead me to do more. Actually owning my own house will expand that a great deal. There are things in this house which give me ideas, like a fully tiled shower area, little details about the place, and the sense that with a little work and money, one can turn a house into a very nice home, without being flashy or silly too.
Three Christmas presents have been purchased. Only one remains, though I will send a little money along with that one too. One gift will wait until the person it is for may choose it, or something else she likes. Since she just bought a canoe, and she likes the better gear, I have a catalog with some items she may choose from. It's good gear and it's spiffy.
The things causing me to drag, at this point, are school, house, getting my banking switched over, and getting this place in order for my visitor. There always seems to be more on my plate than I can really do, and much of it is out of my hands. But that is as it is. Pushing does not seem to help, either them or me. Life could be good here, or I should say, it could be even better. I am seeing my way to that.
Just yesterday my former neighbor and myself were out doing a bit of shopping. We met another shooter who just moved here from southern Utah. We talked guns and life for a good hour, right there in Walmart! Should have gone for coffee, but why? Anyway, I took his number. I think we might end up with a small shooter's club. Hunters, shooters, and reloaders weclome, to be sure. Of course, we are all of the liberal bent. Ha! Any guy who buys a gun for his girlfriend, and she likes it, is good in my book. So, I am beginning to network. Oh, and I told my former neighbor this too, if this new guy has a gal, she will know other women. Odd the way that works. And, if they come for a meal some time, and his gal sees poor lonely guys, she might just figure things out. Women are like that, sometimes. Anyway, it is a thought. Capitalism, for me, does not stop at the store or bank!
Well, that is that for now. Stay warm and safe.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Up too late.
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Yes, I am just now considering going to bed. I did sleep some last night. Not much, I do what I can. I would like to place a few calls this morning. My Mom needs a call and I would like to find out if cross country skis and whatever other equipment needed is available to rent. If I do those things, and pay a few bills, I will be satisfied today. It is not much but it could keep me sane, or happy, or whatever.
Oh, and writing a bit on the blog. I still have too many unsorted things and only time will sort some of them. Too many nagging little chores, loose ends, and untidy business yet to be sorted. If they were things I could do myself and be done with, they would be done. As is, all I can do is call or write and... wait. Arghhhhh! Lucy keeps moving the ball, too.
Well, have a great day!
Update: All completed. As completed as I can do things. The bills are paid, ski equipment rental has been found and a system set in play regarding that, and I have tried to call my Mom several times (starting last evening, actually). I am now considering trying to stay awake through the day to kick start a schedule modification. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. If I can pull if off, it is worth the effort just for the efforts own sake. Or I like to think that.
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Yes, I am just now considering going to bed. I did sleep some last night. Not much, I do what I can. I would like to place a few calls this morning. My Mom needs a call and I would like to find out if cross country skis and whatever other equipment needed is available to rent. If I do those things, and pay a few bills, I will be satisfied today. It is not much but it could keep me sane, or happy, or whatever.
Oh, and writing a bit on the blog. I still have too many unsorted things and only time will sort some of them. Too many nagging little chores, loose ends, and untidy business yet to be sorted. If they were things I could do myself and be done with, they would be done. As is, all I can do is call or write and... wait. Arghhhhh! Lucy keeps moving the ball, too.
Well, have a great day!
Update: All completed. As completed as I can do things. The bills are paid, ski equipment rental has been found and a system set in play regarding that, and I have tried to call my Mom several times (starting last evening, actually). I am now considering trying to stay awake through the day to kick start a schedule modification. Sometimes that works, sometimes not. If I can pull if off, it is worth the effort just for the efforts own sake. Or I like to think that.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Plans and more plans.
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Whoever thought my cooking ideas might actually begin taking off. I doubt if I will ever quite be the food host of hosts, but to be thought of as a resource and occasional dining spot is good enough. Next is roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, and perhaps a pie of some sort. I will have to see if I can get everyone to agree to one type of pie or consider making two types. After that, I think I would like to do a breakfast. Whether it is eaten in the morning is not important. I occasionally enjoy bacon, egg, toast, and perhaps sausage and corned beef hash out of it's usual time slot, having it for dinner. And I do not think I am alone.
This week I need to check about ski rentals, perhaps a Christmas tree (which she and I might figure out how to decorate more simply as a holiday event), and I do have several other pieces of business to attend. I really need to get off my bottom and get back to work. Oh, I need to see why my checks are not arriving at my new bank. That is irritating, especially when the agencies involved know my new address through my change of direct deposit slips now. Slow is one thing, this is sloth, but on their part.
I truly enjoy having an actual house in which to live. There is no one around to help in the case of trouble, but then anyone who shows up here is trouble and can be dealt with. The people whom own the place, through some contact locally, sent me some jam or jelly they made from fresh fruit on their property in Hawaii. I am saving that to share over Christmas. It was quite nice. I think it humorous, being that they are atheists. But Confucius covers that notion well too. Still, I must grin. It may have to do with me, when I realized their mail was really coming here and I had missed tending it, that I sent what they had (minus fliers and other junk) 1-day. A pricey option to Hawaii. Still, I felt duty bound. Then again, it may be just who they are. They really seem like pleasant people.
Pretty bland writing and material, but it takes a bit for the flow to come back. Still spotty, but I will try to write more. I am nearing a thousand posts in 3 years, that is nearly a post a day, averaged out. And few of them are word, or even paragraph, shy, either. Although, I doubt if half of them have been read widely, and for good reason. Though some of you seem to appreciate from time to time:)
Be well. I hope your Christmas plans are pulling together and you at least find a place to share even if you have to pull a couple of low down out-of-staters in via bribes and tickets. :p
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Whoever thought my cooking ideas might actually begin taking off. I doubt if I will ever quite be the food host of hosts, but to be thought of as a resource and occasional dining spot is good enough. Next is roast beef, mashed potatoes, gravy, and perhaps a pie of some sort. I will have to see if I can get everyone to agree to one type of pie or consider making two types. After that, I think I would like to do a breakfast. Whether it is eaten in the morning is not important. I occasionally enjoy bacon, egg, toast, and perhaps sausage and corned beef hash out of it's usual time slot, having it for dinner. And I do not think I am alone.
This week I need to check about ski rentals, perhaps a Christmas tree (which she and I might figure out how to decorate more simply as a holiday event), and I do have several other pieces of business to attend. I really need to get off my bottom and get back to work. Oh, I need to see why my checks are not arriving at my new bank. That is irritating, especially when the agencies involved know my new address through my change of direct deposit slips now. Slow is one thing, this is sloth, but on their part.
I truly enjoy having an actual house in which to live. There is no one around to help in the case of trouble, but then anyone who shows up here is trouble and can be dealt with. The people whom own the place, through some contact locally, sent me some jam or jelly they made from fresh fruit on their property in Hawaii. I am saving that to share over Christmas. It was quite nice. I think it humorous, being that they are atheists. But Confucius covers that notion well too. Still, I must grin. It may have to do with me, when I realized their mail was really coming here and I had missed tending it, that I sent what they had (minus fliers and other junk) 1-day. A pricey option to Hawaii. Still, I felt duty bound. Then again, it may be just who they are. They really seem like pleasant people.
Pretty bland writing and material, but it takes a bit for the flow to come back. Still spotty, but I will try to write more. I am nearing a thousand posts in 3 years, that is nearly a post a day, averaged out. And few of them are word, or even paragraph, shy, either. Although, I doubt if half of them have been read widely, and for good reason. Though some of you seem to appreciate from time to time:)
Be well. I hope your Christmas plans are pulling together and you at least find a place to share even if you have to pull a couple of low down out-of-staters in via bribes and tickets. :p
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Chili went well.
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I finally got it all together, planning worked, and everyone got over the jitters of joining for a meal. We are a land of individualists, and at my age, this is more prevalent than ever. No one was sure of anyone else, and as I said, I did not care. The group actually did well. Everyone seemed to get along, and in private conversations it seems that my observations were correct. As well, people liked the chili. I went very basic, made sure I salted the beans enough, and used traditional spices though adding cayenne for a little extra throat-bite. I usually do not even add chili powder. This time I went with it. I usually do not have a problem with gas either. This time I did. I think chili powder is the culprit.
I consider it a major success. So, I would like to begin doing this more regularly. Next time I think roast beef is on the menu, though I would like to figure out how to do gravy. I had worked on it a bit with enchiladas, but have forgotten. A call to my Mom should fix that quickly. Oh, and I finished cleaning up by the next day!
I am not doing much else, spending too much time gaming. And my nights and days are just a few hours off, sleeping into the early afternoons again. Little else is going on, my former neighbor is not hot on winter weather. I would go and do but doing things alone is more of a chore than anything. If the weather is not too retched, the new guys I invited over go into the canyon and camp and cook out. So, that may be something to do in time. Perhaps even hiking a bit with the younger one. We could leave the two older gents in camp while we youngers go seek trouble on foot.
I did some cleaning beyond what was called for, in order to prepare for the guests. It was a trial run for when my lady friend visits. It sounds as if she is fully planning on visiting. To that end, I need to do a bit more cleaning and pack some things over to storage as well. I am seriously considering buying a Christmas tree, though that is a lot of work and expense, then there is the decorating, maintaining, and disposal issues. I am rather limited at this point, but I will see what I will see. It will be nice to see her again and to show off Utah to my first guest from back home. Oh, I best get to calling ski rental shops as well, and pre-arranging rentals if snow remains. That and finding paths to ski. She has asked for that, cross country skiing.
I am maintaining the house to a degree. Better than my usual, less than what some might consider optimal, yet good enough I think. Bit by bit I am creating systems of doing things. One does not simply move into a house and there you go. From trash and recycling (which I will do here as it is both reasonable and worthwhile for several reasons), to figuring out where pots, pans, dishes, and such go and then remembering for use, to simply keeping the physical aspects functional such as replacing bulbs (and having a few on hand) to whatever. But I like the practice.
If I do end up finding a place, my mother will visit in the summer and will help me settle. She is quite good at these things. My lady friend might also pitch in. I would guess my new friends might help with some lifting and moving as they are able. I am becoming more social and active, even if I do not think it is doing much. It is far more than in Iowa. I have only spent a few days/weeks down at a time ever. Even then, I am not sleeping as much. It is sunnier here though, but that is not all of it. I do like this place. Oh, and the snow is simply wonderful! Even if we get three feet, that three feet of snow weighs less than a few inches of Iowa snow. Powder, my friends, powder. Though driving over it does the same thing here as it did in Iowa, compacts it into ice. :p
One last thing, I am seriously considering putting off school until fall semester. With having to move in spring, the plan of buying a house soon, and just getting my feet wet here, it may simply be too much to push school in there as well. I know, I know, but that is how I am seeing it. I would like to be a bit more solidly settled here before I begin taking on such a big bite. Now, true, all of the engineering school I have seen so far is the stuff they use to eliminate students. I am not sure, even so, that any of the rest of it is any easier. People have said yes, but that may just be because they became used to that kind of pace and brutality. Perhaps they are correct. I simply do not trust engineering school, at all, at this point. Even the first few years of work might well be just as bad. That is where you will actually be trained.
Just an update. I will try to do more of these, a little more often. Have a great day!
.
I finally got it all together, planning worked, and everyone got over the jitters of joining for a meal. We are a land of individualists, and at my age, this is more prevalent than ever. No one was sure of anyone else, and as I said, I did not care. The group actually did well. Everyone seemed to get along, and in private conversations it seems that my observations were correct. As well, people liked the chili. I went very basic, made sure I salted the beans enough, and used traditional spices though adding cayenne for a little extra throat-bite. I usually do not even add chili powder. This time I went with it. I usually do not have a problem with gas either. This time I did. I think chili powder is the culprit.
I consider it a major success. So, I would like to begin doing this more regularly. Next time I think roast beef is on the menu, though I would like to figure out how to do gravy. I had worked on it a bit with enchiladas, but have forgotten. A call to my Mom should fix that quickly. Oh, and I finished cleaning up by the next day!
I am not doing much else, spending too much time gaming. And my nights and days are just a few hours off, sleeping into the early afternoons again. Little else is going on, my former neighbor is not hot on winter weather. I would go and do but doing things alone is more of a chore than anything. If the weather is not too retched, the new guys I invited over go into the canyon and camp and cook out. So, that may be something to do in time. Perhaps even hiking a bit with the younger one. We could leave the two older gents in camp while we youngers go seek trouble on foot.
I did some cleaning beyond what was called for, in order to prepare for the guests. It was a trial run for when my lady friend visits. It sounds as if she is fully planning on visiting. To that end, I need to do a bit more cleaning and pack some things over to storage as well. I am seriously considering buying a Christmas tree, though that is a lot of work and expense, then there is the decorating, maintaining, and disposal issues. I am rather limited at this point, but I will see what I will see. It will be nice to see her again and to show off Utah to my first guest from back home. Oh, I best get to calling ski rental shops as well, and pre-arranging rentals if snow remains. That and finding paths to ski. She has asked for that, cross country skiing.
I am maintaining the house to a degree. Better than my usual, less than what some might consider optimal, yet good enough I think. Bit by bit I am creating systems of doing things. One does not simply move into a house and there you go. From trash and recycling (which I will do here as it is both reasonable and worthwhile for several reasons), to figuring out where pots, pans, dishes, and such go and then remembering for use, to simply keeping the physical aspects functional such as replacing bulbs (and having a few on hand) to whatever. But I like the practice.
If I do end up finding a place, my mother will visit in the summer and will help me settle. She is quite good at these things. My lady friend might also pitch in. I would guess my new friends might help with some lifting and moving as they are able. I am becoming more social and active, even if I do not think it is doing much. It is far more than in Iowa. I have only spent a few days/weeks down at a time ever. Even then, I am not sleeping as much. It is sunnier here though, but that is not all of it. I do like this place. Oh, and the snow is simply wonderful! Even if we get three feet, that three feet of snow weighs less than a few inches of Iowa snow. Powder, my friends, powder. Though driving over it does the same thing here as it did in Iowa, compacts it into ice. :p
One last thing, I am seriously considering putting off school until fall semester. With having to move in spring, the plan of buying a house soon, and just getting my feet wet here, it may simply be too much to push school in there as well. I know, I know, but that is how I am seeing it. I would like to be a bit more solidly settled here before I begin taking on such a big bite. Now, true, all of the engineering school I have seen so far is the stuff they use to eliminate students. I am not sure, even so, that any of the rest of it is any easier. People have said yes, but that may just be because they became used to that kind of pace and brutality. Perhaps they are correct. I simply do not trust engineering school, at all, at this point. Even the first few years of work might well be just as bad. That is where you will actually be trained.
Just an update. I will try to do more of these, a little more often. Have a great day!
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Up and going.
.
.
My sleep, as usual, has been a bit off. I have been struggling to keep days and nights correct, and doing fairly well all in all. But I was beginning to lose that battle. I think the fighting has tipped in my favor again. Stress, or certain stresses, really mess up my programming. When I have too many things that are messy on my plate, some parts just shut down. I think the biggest mess was the apartment. The remnants of that are the next, and school. But those are relatively easy.
I am still recovering from moving, to be honest, so not a lot will probably get done today. I may try to find beans for chili, and perhaps spices and such. I have asked a couple of people for a chili meal soon. They both drink beer and shoot. One is going for his doctorate and one is retired. They are both picky, so might not like each other, and I do not care. It is about food and some social mixing. Now to get a few women to visit. That would probably shut them both up. I do not even think women looking for love would be necessary. As grumbly as we men can be, a lady or two around settles some things sometimes. I will work on that. Who knows anyway, single women who are not looking for love are sometimes the perfect women to be around to find what is not sought. Tricky that way, yes they are! Rabbits, I say, with teeth like ^^^^ this!
I have gotten back into gaming a bit. Guild Wars is the thing. Not that many would understand, but I have seven mains, 5 or 6 of them through all campaigns and able to hench and hero through most quests, missions, and caps hard mode if I want or need. There are still things in the game too technical for me, believe it or else. I have 3 characters who I could suit up for just about anything but it is not fun to have to run a perfect game. I do not wish to work (too hard) at a game. I have nearly as much money, in game, as a character can have, all the max weapons for each attribute per character, several sets of armor apiece at least, etc. I wonder how much the game would be worth. Might be a small fortune or might be nothing these days. I know one kid, back when, who sold a game account for enough to get him through college (state college, but still... an engineering prospect back in Iowa City).
Oh, I have been praying a bit more regularly as well. Oddly, with this shut down, all communication ability seemed to shut down. I personally did not shut down and kept going if slower than I would have liked. That was a weird one. I do not think that is as bad as a total shutdown, if it has it's own frustrations.
Well, back to doing little. :P Have a great day.
.
My sleep, as usual, has been a bit off. I have been struggling to keep days and nights correct, and doing fairly well all in all. But I was beginning to lose that battle. I think the fighting has tipped in my favor again. Stress, or certain stresses, really mess up my programming. When I have too many things that are messy on my plate, some parts just shut down. I think the biggest mess was the apartment. The remnants of that are the next, and school. But those are relatively easy.
I am still recovering from moving, to be honest, so not a lot will probably get done today. I may try to find beans for chili, and perhaps spices and such. I have asked a couple of people for a chili meal soon. They both drink beer and shoot. One is going for his doctorate and one is retired. They are both picky, so might not like each other, and I do not care. It is about food and some social mixing. Now to get a few women to visit. That would probably shut them both up. I do not even think women looking for love would be necessary. As grumbly as we men can be, a lady or two around settles some things sometimes. I will work on that. Who knows anyway, single women who are not looking for love are sometimes the perfect women to be around to find what is not sought. Tricky that way, yes they are! Rabbits, I say, with teeth like ^^^^ this!
I have gotten back into gaming a bit. Guild Wars is the thing. Not that many would understand, but I have seven mains, 5 or 6 of them through all campaigns and able to hench and hero through most quests, missions, and caps hard mode if I want or need. There are still things in the game too technical for me, believe it or else. I have 3 characters who I could suit up for just about anything but it is not fun to have to run a perfect game. I do not wish to work (too hard) at a game. I have nearly as much money, in game, as a character can have, all the max weapons for each attribute per character, several sets of armor apiece at least, etc. I wonder how much the game would be worth. Might be a small fortune or might be nothing these days. I know one kid, back when, who sold a game account for enough to get him through college (state college, but still... an engineering prospect back in Iowa City).
Oh, I have been praying a bit more regularly as well. Oddly, with this shut down, all communication ability seemed to shut down. I personally did not shut down and kept going if slower than I would have liked. That was a weird one. I do not think that is as bad as a total shutdown, if it has it's own frustrations.
Well, back to doing little. :P Have a great day.
Alive and 260.
.
.
I really froze up there. Might still be a bit tight, but I think I am coming back to life. I finally did get everything moved, but I did not vacuum the floor. The rest was in pretty good shape. I had my former neighbor help. He could not do much, but just having someone there helped me do the work. It is horrible to be so distracted. I need a wife who can be bossy when needed. When needed, of course, will be debatable. :p
I am down to 260 pounds. When I headed here, I was 303 or 305. I have not been doing much differently, eating wise. Perhaps I have been eating more. But, when I am off the clock so to speak, I am still much more active. I get out of the house at least three times a week, I would say. And even at home, I am doing things. I just did not think I would still be losing weight. I think the lack of humidity has something to do with it, and maybe the altitude? Who knows, but I am loving it.
I still have a few things clogging up the brain drain, but I am working on bits and pieces of each, even if I have not been writing. I just ran into a wall here, for some reason. I will not swear that it is over, only that I think it is ending. I need to sort the boxes I brought here and put some of that in storage. I have already gone through about a quarter of it. I need to send out the chain letter to those who said they would. I need to get over to college and talk to them. I need to prepare for my lady friend's visit and get a small gift or three. I have been calling my Mom, or more, calling her back. She does worry, and fairly.
I bought a new chair for the computer room and it is comfortable. The chair here was fine, but being wooden and somewhat antique (and nice, actually), I did not wish to harm it. I am trying to be as good to this place as I can. The rent and utilities are fantastic for what I am getting. With someone renting the old place now, life will normalize a bit both in my mind and in my finances. It was worth an extra month's rent to get into this, trust me, and for many reasons.
I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with the family of my former neighbor. It was quite nice to be in a family setting with rather easygoing people over a fine meal. The food was quite good and I enjoyed the company. Our hostess needed emergency surgery the day before, but she was out of bed and there, though her daughters, husband, and son I think all pitched in to do the cooking. She was a bit pale and moved slowly and ate lightly, but gall bladder removal if better than it was is still quite a thing.
I bought and actually gave my first Christmas present today. I bought a tumbler for my former neighbor, for shining up the spent brass he reloads (ammunition reloader). He was thinking of buying that, but needed warm shirts. He was a bit torn and nervous about the money. So, I simply got him to buy the shirts and grabbed the device. I just hope he does not think he owes me. As you get older, it is funner to give than receive, especially with my tastes. I despise most gifts, as if I am going to buy something, I buy good stuff, really good. Outside of the range of most gift givers. I know, I know, but that is the way of it. And I will not wear ugly clothes! Doh! I have my Mom, my lady friend, and that is about all that is left on my list. I may do one of those tree gift things, for families in need. I will have to look at my finances first.
Well, that is it in not so much of a nutshell. I hope your lives have been good? I have been keeping many of you in my prayers. Your lives, worries, thoughts, and joy cross my mind fairly often. Oh well, perhaps I am sentimental or a bit fruity, but I like to think I just enjoy people.
Good night.
.
I really froze up there. Might still be a bit tight, but I think I am coming back to life. I finally did get everything moved, but I did not vacuum the floor. The rest was in pretty good shape. I had my former neighbor help. He could not do much, but just having someone there helped me do the work. It is horrible to be so distracted. I need a wife who can be bossy when needed. When needed, of course, will be debatable. :p
I am down to 260 pounds. When I headed here, I was 303 or 305. I have not been doing much differently, eating wise. Perhaps I have been eating more. But, when I am off the clock so to speak, I am still much more active. I get out of the house at least three times a week, I would say. And even at home, I am doing things. I just did not think I would still be losing weight. I think the lack of humidity has something to do with it, and maybe the altitude? Who knows, but I am loving it.
I still have a few things clogging up the brain drain, but I am working on bits and pieces of each, even if I have not been writing. I just ran into a wall here, for some reason. I will not swear that it is over, only that I think it is ending. I need to sort the boxes I brought here and put some of that in storage. I have already gone through about a quarter of it. I need to send out the chain letter to those who said they would. I need to get over to college and talk to them. I need to prepare for my lady friend's visit and get a small gift or three. I have been calling my Mom, or more, calling her back. She does worry, and fairly.
I bought a new chair for the computer room and it is comfortable. The chair here was fine, but being wooden and somewhat antique (and nice, actually), I did not wish to harm it. I am trying to be as good to this place as I can. The rent and utilities are fantastic for what I am getting. With someone renting the old place now, life will normalize a bit both in my mind and in my finances. It was worth an extra month's rent to get into this, trust me, and for many reasons.
I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with the family of my former neighbor. It was quite nice to be in a family setting with rather easygoing people over a fine meal. The food was quite good and I enjoyed the company. Our hostess needed emergency surgery the day before, but she was out of bed and there, though her daughters, husband, and son I think all pitched in to do the cooking. She was a bit pale and moved slowly and ate lightly, but gall bladder removal if better than it was is still quite a thing.
I bought and actually gave my first Christmas present today. I bought a tumbler for my former neighbor, for shining up the spent brass he reloads (ammunition reloader). He was thinking of buying that, but needed warm shirts. He was a bit torn and nervous about the money. So, I simply got him to buy the shirts and grabbed the device. I just hope he does not think he owes me. As you get older, it is funner to give than receive, especially with my tastes. I despise most gifts, as if I am going to buy something, I buy good stuff, really good. Outside of the range of most gift givers. I know, I know, but that is the way of it. And I will not wear ugly clothes! Doh! I have my Mom, my lady friend, and that is about all that is left on my list. I may do one of those tree gift things, for families in need. I will have to look at my finances first.
Well, that is it in not so much of a nutshell. I hope your lives have been good? I have been keeping many of you in my prayers. Your lives, worries, thoughts, and joy cross my mind fairly often. Oh well, perhaps I am sentimental or a bit fruity, but I like to think I just enjoy people.
Good night.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Yeah, well...
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.
A few things done. I did find the tools. Yeah! I also went grocery shopping and bought enough for the month. I obtained plenty of boxes. I reestablished a link with my bank online. And I canceled my donations to my old church so that I may start that with the new one. Tomorrow I hope to take the machine apart, pack those boxes, and maybe make it to Ogden so my friend can pick up his rifle. I know there are some other things to do, but... I do not think I can do more until Monday. Perhaps I could call and arrange a meeting for next week with a college guidance councilor. It depends how much time I end up having and whether I can remember to do it. Doh!
Just scribbling and trying to let the lists I put here remind me. I am not sure what else to say. Hope your lives are going well. Take care.
.
A few things done. I did find the tools. Yeah! I also went grocery shopping and bought enough for the month. I obtained plenty of boxes. I reestablished a link with my bank online. And I canceled my donations to my old church so that I may start that with the new one. Tomorrow I hope to take the machine apart, pack those boxes, and maybe make it to Ogden so my friend can pick up his rifle. I know there are some other things to do, but... I do not think I can do more until Monday. Perhaps I could call and arrange a meeting for next week with a college guidance councilor. It depends how much time I end up having and whether I can remember to do it. Doh!
Just scribbling and trying to let the lists I put here remind me. I am not sure what else to say. Hope your lives are going well. Take care.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Things to do.
.
.
Trying to get back to the practical. It is never easy after... some period of off time. I need to finish the move. That will mean getting a dozen boxes and the tools to tear down one piece of equipment. That apartment is 70% skeletonized I would guess, so it is not a lot of work, just several jobs requiring different things. Next, I need to reset my online access with my old account. Not knowing what is going on with my money is a big problem, internally. And, of course, being broke is too. No doubt, one will almost by necessity lead to the other. My ex-neighbor needs a ride to pick up his new .338 Marlin express. I am hoping he will not like it. Finally, I need to get organized here.
My lady friend called, it sounds like she will be coming. I know for certain, if I had not put insurance on the tickets, she would have canceled. She might anyway. That $16 takes a load off my mind. I do not mind spending for something, but not for nothing. I have been seeing much less of my ex-neighbor. I may have made another social contact, if I can keep up contact is another thing. No one has time or interest, yet everybody seems to need contact. It is one of those dilemma things. Like water, you do not miss it until or unless you really need it.
Not much going on. Last night was my first night to sleep here. Getting used to the new sounds is always a task. I just need to get my head straight and get going. I do need to check in at school and ask to speak to an adviser and maybe a professor or two. I would like to know where I stand and where I could go, and maybe where I want to go. Unless they want me to do some of the killer stuff over, I only have engineering physics II left to do for that part. The rest will be core, in which there are several difficult classes too of course. Dream dream, but it is there.
Have a good day!
.
Trying to get back to the practical. It is never easy after... some period of off time. I need to finish the move. That will mean getting a dozen boxes and the tools to tear down one piece of equipment. That apartment is 70% skeletonized I would guess, so it is not a lot of work, just several jobs requiring different things. Next, I need to reset my online access with my old account. Not knowing what is going on with my money is a big problem, internally. And, of course, being broke is too. No doubt, one will almost by necessity lead to the other. My ex-neighbor needs a ride to pick up his new .338 Marlin express. I am hoping he will not like it. Finally, I need to get organized here.
My lady friend called, it sounds like she will be coming. I know for certain, if I had not put insurance on the tickets, she would have canceled. She might anyway. That $16 takes a load off my mind. I do not mind spending for something, but not for nothing. I have been seeing much less of my ex-neighbor. I may have made another social contact, if I can keep up contact is another thing. No one has time or interest, yet everybody seems to need contact. It is one of those dilemma things. Like water, you do not miss it until or unless you really need it.
Not much going on. Last night was my first night to sleep here. Getting used to the new sounds is always a task. I just need to get my head straight and get going. I do need to check in at school and ask to speak to an adviser and maybe a professor or two. I would like to know where I stand and where I could go, and maybe where I want to go. Unless they want me to do some of the killer stuff over, I only have engineering physics II left to do for that part. The rest will be core, in which there are several difficult classes too of course. Dream dream, but it is there.
Have a good day!
Monday, November 16, 2009
No, I am not dead yet.
.
.
Not sure what happened, but... I did not lose track of everything. Oddly, I have been dysfunctionally functional. I have been, if still slowly, moving stuff from place to place, meeting and greeting people, and this and that. But I totally became blind to much else, like posting. I am not getting everything completed which I would like completed. And I am doing nothing as timely as I should like. And yet, bit by bit, the stuff that gnaws at me is tended. I just became deaf and mute in a way. It is like my ability to communicate, online and in real life, turned off mostly. It is different here, if I have not quite been able to corner the market on the better aspects fully yet.
Nothing new or newsy to report. Well, I am not dead. I do not know what is wrong, xactly, so fixing it is a thing for time. I think not having the apartment cleaned out is bugging me and some things which where bothering me but have been cured still slog the machine somehow (like not having the apartment rented, someone will be taking it over in December (yeah!), but it is still messing with me, maybe because I cannot seem to get out! Trapped, confused, waiting, hoping, unsure, quiet, patient, befuddled... That is all I see, it is all I know, and yet... bit by bit anyway. Not bad, I will give it a solid F for effort, with the possibility of improving that with the completion of the project. I will give it an A+ for the fact that I am still walking, working, driving, loading, eating, and grooming as is possible, in spite of having no seeming connection with the world, no taste for life let alone goals, nothing going in this cold dark place in my mind but a want for sleep. Oh, and my sleep is fairly good, dreaming ended (that I remember). I am eating twice a day (though I am not, oddly, having bm's, yet I am not impacted either). I wonder if it just takes a lot more energy to run here, in the winter, in the arid climate, at this altitude. Everything is being used. I have been eating good, but only a few bm's a week. (maybe more information than you cared to know, butt...) :0
That is it. No nut shell needed. My world is smaller than a peanut. But it is a tasty one, I am sure, if I could see flavor!
.
Not sure what happened, but... I did not lose track of everything. Oddly, I have been dysfunctionally functional. I have been, if still slowly, moving stuff from place to place, meeting and greeting people, and this and that. But I totally became blind to much else, like posting. I am not getting everything completed which I would like completed. And I am doing nothing as timely as I should like. And yet, bit by bit, the stuff that gnaws at me is tended. I just became deaf and mute in a way. It is like my ability to communicate, online and in real life, turned off mostly. It is different here, if I have not quite been able to corner the market on the better aspects fully yet.
Nothing new or newsy to report. Well, I am not dead. I do not know what is wrong, xactly, so fixing it is a thing for time. I think not having the apartment cleaned out is bugging me and some things which where bothering me but have been cured still slog the machine somehow (like not having the apartment rented, someone will be taking it over in December (yeah!), but it is still messing with me, maybe because I cannot seem to get out! Trapped, confused, waiting, hoping, unsure, quiet, patient, befuddled... That is all I see, it is all I know, and yet... bit by bit anyway. Not bad, I will give it a solid F for effort, with the possibility of improving that with the completion of the project. I will give it an A+ for the fact that I am still walking, working, driving, loading, eating, and grooming as is possible, in spite of having no seeming connection with the world, no taste for life let alone goals, nothing going in this cold dark place in my mind but a want for sleep. Oh, and my sleep is fairly good, dreaming ended (that I remember). I am eating twice a day (though I am not, oddly, having bm's, yet I am not impacted either). I wonder if it just takes a lot more energy to run here, in the winter, in the arid climate, at this altitude. Everything is being used. I have been eating good, but only a few bm's a week. (maybe more information than you cared to know, butt...) :0
That is it. No nut shell needed. My world is smaller than a peanut. But it is a tasty one, I am sure, if I could see flavor!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Today being Sunday, I did no work.
.
.
Some of the choice to not work was based on religious conviction. I must be honest though, I felt like today was "safe", like in the game tag. I have been doing bits and pieces of moving as I can. I simply am exhausted and confused. I do not remember dreaming last night. But my calves, upper legs, and such, are all so sore and stiff I have been having to drive a bit more carefully. I have had to use my hand to help lift my leg off one pedal and onto the other. It has been like this for a week, though a bit worse the last few days. I have been trying to eat more and better. That does not seem to help.
I just cannot snap out of it and pull together. The good news is I do not need to do so. Reading and goofing. I finally do have it that G.K. Chesterton is supposed to be funny. I had no idea what I would be dealing with when I started to read his book. I would read along a bit and it would build. Eventually I just had to chuckle or laugh, sometimes heavily. I am nearly done with his first book, making progress in rereading the New Testament, and tinkering on the machine in a mindless time eating fashion. For right now, it is enough.
I do have some projects in mind. I would like to do some raking here. No, I was not asked to generally. Call it a sentimental act, or getting the feel for ownership or a simple homeowner pride participation device, or just a simple physical task. Tomorrow or Tuesday I will rake that lawn. Saturday, yesterday, between laundry and moving things in a bit, I did sweep the deck clean of leaves and set up some chairs and such. Who knows, maybe someone will visit and it will be warm enough to sit on the deck. It made me feel better in any case, and then got me thinking about raking the whole thing. I even know some people who merely want the bagged leaves.
Supper, I think, then maybe bed. If I can sleep. Goodnight!
.
Some of the choice to not work was based on religious conviction. I must be honest though, I felt like today was "safe", like in the game tag. I have been doing bits and pieces of moving as I can. I simply am exhausted and confused. I do not remember dreaming last night. But my calves, upper legs, and such, are all so sore and stiff I have been having to drive a bit more carefully. I have had to use my hand to help lift my leg off one pedal and onto the other. It has been like this for a week, though a bit worse the last few days. I have been trying to eat more and better. That does not seem to help.
I just cannot snap out of it and pull together. The good news is I do not need to do so. Reading and goofing. I finally do have it that G.K. Chesterton is supposed to be funny. I had no idea what I would be dealing with when I started to read his book. I would read along a bit and it would build. Eventually I just had to chuckle or laugh, sometimes heavily. I am nearly done with his first book, making progress in rereading the New Testament, and tinkering on the machine in a mindless time eating fashion. For right now, it is enough.
I do have some projects in mind. I would like to do some raking here. No, I was not asked to generally. Call it a sentimental act, or getting the feel for ownership or a simple homeowner pride participation device, or just a simple physical task. Tomorrow or Tuesday I will rake that lawn. Saturday, yesterday, between laundry and moving things in a bit, I did sweep the deck clean of leaves and set up some chairs and such. Who knows, maybe someone will visit and it will be warm enough to sit on the deck. It made me feel better in any case, and then got me thinking about raking the whole thing. I even know some people who merely want the bagged leaves.
Supper, I think, then maybe bed. If I can sleep. Goodnight!
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The time is now.
.
.
Watching financial moves, reading about the political football being played, and just catching on to some of the winds of the world, I realize now is a turning point in history. I might be lead to think this was born in the sixties, and to some extent it was, for here. I might go back further and point to Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, and others. And, that would be true to some extent, of course extending back to Marx. But the truth is, this battle has been waged, won, and lost many times over the course of time. But it culminates, for us and for the world, now.
There are other nearly free nations. Some of them are freer, economically, then America. Some are freer in a libertine manner. None of this will matter if the unilateral world power quits being a free power. If we fail, those nations who have attempted to emulate what we have here, however they have chosen to express it, will fall. No small flame can be lit in the rain. That flame that is the yearning of free men to be free, unless we are truly merely animals, cannot be extinguished. But it can lose voice and representation. It has before. If it does not now, it will in time.
Some of this is due to people being foolish. Some of it is born on ignorance. Some of it, of course is brought about by evil, lying, naivete, and other such things. Though it is not quite right to say that people should not look to themselves, that was actually built into our system. What is the major problem is people who choose to believe they will get something that simply cannot be had. The exchange of power for health care, a loving government, or anything else is merely a scam. It takes money from people, and power, and gives it to those who have proven again and again that they will abuse it.
If it were just the poor, the uneducated, or such, that would be one thing. When you hear a college teacher express that Biden is just so cute when he says the things he does. Or when you hear another who simply knows Obama is going to make the world better (somehow). One has to stop and wonder at all that has gone wrong to bring us to this point and what it would take to correct it. I suppose even that side knows there is a problem, if they cannot really grasp it. Their plan is euthanasia of one sort, but more likely on every front in which they can legislate it or enact it. Those of us who are appalled at the notion have no response except to fight it, and usually lose. It certainly makes me question "conservative leadership" at almost every level. How do you give real hope to people who have none and who have the vote? How do you express the fact that every day is a new chance to people who have quit? How do you tell them that there is something better than lies, death, other people's money, and taxes?
If I were a multi-gazzilionaire and saying these things, that could be put off. I am not. I am a lower income cripple. I am one of those voices who is supposed to believe my government will take care of me. I am supposed to believe the lies. I do not believe. Further, even if I thought these things could be done, I do not believe in the underlying principles required to make them true, that is stealing other people's money at an unbelievable rate, socializing medicine, and undermining whatever founding principles this nation was built on to enact these things. I am weary, my mind is boggled, what else is there to say.
.
Watching financial moves, reading about the political football being played, and just catching on to some of the winds of the world, I realize now is a turning point in history. I might be lead to think this was born in the sixties, and to some extent it was, for here. I might go back further and point to Lenin, Stalin, Hitler, and others. And, that would be true to some extent, of course extending back to Marx. But the truth is, this battle has been waged, won, and lost many times over the course of time. But it culminates, for us and for the world, now.
There are other nearly free nations. Some of them are freer, economically, then America. Some are freer in a libertine manner. None of this will matter if the unilateral world power quits being a free power. If we fail, those nations who have attempted to emulate what we have here, however they have chosen to express it, will fall. No small flame can be lit in the rain. That flame that is the yearning of free men to be free, unless we are truly merely animals, cannot be extinguished. But it can lose voice and representation. It has before. If it does not now, it will in time.
Some of this is due to people being foolish. Some of it is born on ignorance. Some of it, of course is brought about by evil, lying, naivete, and other such things. Though it is not quite right to say that people should not look to themselves, that was actually built into our system. What is the major problem is people who choose to believe they will get something that simply cannot be had. The exchange of power for health care, a loving government, or anything else is merely a scam. It takes money from people, and power, and gives it to those who have proven again and again that they will abuse it.
If it were just the poor, the uneducated, or such, that would be one thing. When you hear a college teacher express that Biden is just so cute when he says the things he does. Or when you hear another who simply knows Obama is going to make the world better (somehow). One has to stop and wonder at all that has gone wrong to bring us to this point and what it would take to correct it. I suppose even that side knows there is a problem, if they cannot really grasp it. Their plan is euthanasia of one sort, but more likely on every front in which they can legislate it or enact it. Those of us who are appalled at the notion have no response except to fight it, and usually lose. It certainly makes me question "conservative leadership" at almost every level. How do you give real hope to people who have none and who have the vote? How do you express the fact that every day is a new chance to people who have quit? How do you tell them that there is something better than lies, death, other people's money, and taxes?
If I were a multi-gazzilionaire and saying these things, that could be put off. I am not. I am a lower income cripple. I am one of those voices who is supposed to believe my government will take care of me. I am supposed to believe the lies. I do not believe. Further, even if I thought these things could be done, I do not believe in the underlying principles required to make them true, that is stealing other people's money at an unbelievable rate, socializing medicine, and undermining whatever founding principles this nation was built on to enact these things. I am weary, my mind is boggled, what else is there to say.
Well, something is working.
.
.
The last few days I was getting up later and the last few nights I could not sleep until early in the morning, 4:00 last night. I set my alarm for 9:00 this morning, hoping upon hope that I would rise (by noon, I am practical). Instead, I woke at a quarter to eight. I did a little damage assessment and some preps for the move, got a load ready, and here I am. Two or three loads a day should see me in good stead. I am not sleeping here yet. I like waking up with nothing to do but move. It offers incentives to get going. In this next week, I should be completely out of the apartment.
I did dream last night as well. Oddly, while I was dreaming, I was also awake enough to hear a conversation next door. At first I thought I was having two dreams at once, or that the conversation was going to become a part of it, without really understanding I was asleep. I simply could not understand what was happening. It sort of killed the dream when I realized the speaking was physical. And yet, I was not actually awake either. That is one of the odder experiences I have had in a while. Awake in mind but not in flesh. Gee, if I were not Catholic, I might have to become a shaman. Then again, I doubt if it pays as well. It might be easier to get a wife though.
More, I do not feel exhausted this morning. It may have to do with spending time here, with all the sunlight available in this place. I simply am not sure what to make of things sometimes.
.
The last few days I was getting up later and the last few nights I could not sleep until early in the morning, 4:00 last night. I set my alarm for 9:00 this morning, hoping upon hope that I would rise (by noon, I am practical). Instead, I woke at a quarter to eight. I did a little damage assessment and some preps for the move, got a load ready, and here I am. Two or three loads a day should see me in good stead. I am not sleeping here yet. I like waking up with nothing to do but move. It offers incentives to get going. In this next week, I should be completely out of the apartment.
I did dream last night as well. Oddly, while I was dreaming, I was also awake enough to hear a conversation next door. At first I thought I was having two dreams at once, or that the conversation was going to become a part of it, without really understanding I was asleep. I simply could not understand what was happening. It sort of killed the dream when I realized the speaking was physical. And yet, I was not actually awake either. That is one of the odder experiences I have had in a while. Awake in mind but not in flesh. Gee, if I were not Catholic, I might have to become a shaman. Then again, I doubt if it pays as well. It might be easier to get a wife though.
More, I do not feel exhausted this morning. It may have to do with spending time here, with all the sunlight available in this place. I simply am not sure what to make of things sometimes.
Friday, November 6, 2009
The machine is moved.
.
.
Unlike what customer service suggested, my internet did not continue at the old place past noon today. My guess is, despite what he said, they merely switched the one off when the turned the new one on. My landlady had worried, since they have not had a land line here and this is dsl (over the phone lines) that it might not work. I figured I would worry about that when the time came. No problems, as I thought. When she voiced her worry, my mother's image overlaced her image, which usually tells me it is merely a feminine neurosis thing, and for the most part to be ignored. Not that she or my Mom are always wrong, it is just that they try and put monkey wrenches into men's work, and cause us psychic tics. Bah! It has taken me years to figure that out and move on through. Oh, and mothers out there, leave your kids alone this way! If you have a worry, let them find the problem if there is one and figure it out. Putting the icy fear of God of doing ANYTHING in your kid's heads is a crime!
I feel better.
Now, on the upside, losing the internet probably allowed me to get cracking. I am, after all, an addict of no small desire. From blogging to a game or two to researching things that mean nothing and I may forget tomorrow, but which expand my felt presence in the world whole, is something I do not like being without. Even if I should not deign to use anything, access is required. I now have the machine over and set up, a couple of loads of laundry done, and a good platform to jump off for my final big push to complete my move. Although I am going to call them and make sure I am not billed for a service I did not receive. If it all works, they will have done me a favor for nothing out of my pocket.
Dreams, dreams, dreams! Where are these things coming from? It is brutal. I am becoming a zombie from exhaustion. I seem to be plagued by so many diseases which are not supposed to be diseases, I really wonder what is truly wrong with me. Could it be spirits? I doubt it, I am clean with God, though a confession is in order and a bit past due. Could it all be sleep and dream related? More sleep, or less, does not change a thing. I simply dream too much. It probably is why I am tired so often. And, to be honest, exhaustion is the only thing wrong with me. There have been times when the dreams were so real that they confused me. Not that I was clinically insane because of it, just confused. Imagine if you dreamed you went to the store and bought many things. Upon waking, you were sure you had them so you did not check when planning a special meal. On that day, you look and find you have none of the things you were sure you had. Now add in more complex things and a few heavier things.
I have had a severe life. Having no roots, not knowing my birth family, not being even in one family but having been in seven different 'family evironments'. A lot of fighting, some acting out, a disinterest in school, some tougher family situations, and some real dangers in the service. That does not help, perhaps those are the fundamental causes of the dreams. I am not sure. But I have done as much, clinically, as is possible with those issues. I have tried prescribed and over-the-counter sleep aids. Those guarantee two things... one that I will sleep, two that I will only sleep about 4 hours. The one thing that did work was taken, Ritalin. It allowed me to overcome the exhaustion, and perhaps some of the confustion and ADD like symptoms from lack of sleep, and to become active enough to function. Though, perhaps, near the end, it was losing it's potency (or they really did put me on a placebo).
One of the really good things about the house I am now in is... windows! Lots of them, plenty of light all day. There is no need for lights until it turns dark. There is a great deal more light here in Utah, even in this northern part, then there is in Iowa. It always seemed dark there. Then again, and added to that, I had my shades pulled all of the time. Too many 'people' simply ignored anything like land rights, being told to keep off the lawn, or even the police (though they were about as helpful as neutered muzzled chihuahuas). I am doing better here, I must just assume this is a part of becoming accustomed to the area. In Iowa, as I am, I would not be moving stuff, with or without internet access, I would be sleeping and for days on end. This is truly the best of the worst times I have ever had. I had this before, here, but it is better yet.
Time will tell, and though I whine and complain, I know life has gotten much better.
Oh, someone asked about my Amazon wish list. I only meant that I had made one. And yes, the name is very personalized to this blog and ID. However, I was only saying I was pleased to have been able to create it, use some of the names I like, and such. It is obscure enough that is not meant to be found by others. If you are a gazzilionaire and would like to hand me a katrillion dollars, we will talk. Though I might even turn that down. Well, okay, I might not. Ha! But I did not mean for people to look, buy me stuff, or anything like that. I am sort of weird that way. There is something about pride being bad, but this is not quite that. If I needed to beg, or thought my writing was worth something, I would publish and sell it. If you ever feel bad for me and want to do something, do this: If you have a relationship with God, lend my name to His ear when you two talk; if you do not believe, then simply think kind thoughts my way. And know to, that I believe suffering is not a complete waste. It is not a waste at all. Through suffering joy is born, treasure is stored in heaven through it whether it is experienced because of His name or merely even if it is handed as a poor man's sacrifice as I do. Suffering for it's own sake is one thing, but my suffering is not that. And, I must add, suffering is only a small part of my life. There is much good.
I blather.
*poof*
.
Unlike what customer service suggested, my internet did not continue at the old place past noon today. My guess is, despite what he said, they merely switched the one off when the turned the new one on. My landlady had worried, since they have not had a land line here and this is dsl (over the phone lines) that it might not work. I figured I would worry about that when the time came. No problems, as I thought. When she voiced her worry, my mother's image overlaced her image, which usually tells me it is merely a feminine neurosis thing, and for the most part to be ignored. Not that she or my Mom are always wrong, it is just that they try and put monkey wrenches into men's work, and cause us psychic tics. Bah! It has taken me years to figure that out and move on through. Oh, and mothers out there, leave your kids alone this way! If you have a worry, let them find the problem if there is one and figure it out. Putting the icy fear of God of doing ANYTHING in your kid's heads is a crime!
I feel better.
Now, on the upside, losing the internet probably allowed me to get cracking. I am, after all, an addict of no small desire. From blogging to a game or two to researching things that mean nothing and I may forget tomorrow, but which expand my felt presence in the world whole, is something I do not like being without. Even if I should not deign to use anything, access is required. I now have the machine over and set up, a couple of loads of laundry done, and a good platform to jump off for my final big push to complete my move. Although I am going to call them and make sure I am not billed for a service I did not receive. If it all works, they will have done me a favor for nothing out of my pocket.
Dreams, dreams, dreams! Where are these things coming from? It is brutal. I am becoming a zombie from exhaustion. I seem to be plagued by so many diseases which are not supposed to be diseases, I really wonder what is truly wrong with me. Could it be spirits? I doubt it, I am clean with God, though a confession is in order and a bit past due. Could it all be sleep and dream related? More sleep, or less, does not change a thing. I simply dream too much. It probably is why I am tired so often. And, to be honest, exhaustion is the only thing wrong with me. There have been times when the dreams were so real that they confused me. Not that I was clinically insane because of it, just confused. Imagine if you dreamed you went to the store and bought many things. Upon waking, you were sure you had them so you did not check when planning a special meal. On that day, you look and find you have none of the things you were sure you had. Now add in more complex things and a few heavier things.
I have had a severe life. Having no roots, not knowing my birth family, not being even in one family but having been in seven different 'family evironments'. A lot of fighting, some acting out, a disinterest in school, some tougher family situations, and some real dangers in the service. That does not help, perhaps those are the fundamental causes of the dreams. I am not sure. But I have done as much, clinically, as is possible with those issues. I have tried prescribed and over-the-counter sleep aids. Those guarantee two things... one that I will sleep, two that I will only sleep about 4 hours. The one thing that did work was taken, Ritalin. It allowed me to overcome the exhaustion, and perhaps some of the confustion and ADD like symptoms from lack of sleep, and to become active enough to function. Though, perhaps, near the end, it was losing it's potency (or they really did put me on a placebo).
One of the really good things about the house I am now in is... windows! Lots of them, plenty of light all day. There is no need for lights until it turns dark. There is a great deal more light here in Utah, even in this northern part, then there is in Iowa. It always seemed dark there. Then again, and added to that, I had my shades pulled all of the time. Too many 'people' simply ignored anything like land rights, being told to keep off the lawn, or even the police (though they were about as helpful as neutered muzzled chihuahuas). I am doing better here, I must just assume this is a part of becoming accustomed to the area. In Iowa, as I am, I would not be moving stuff, with or without internet access, I would be sleeping and for days on end. This is truly the best of the worst times I have ever had. I had this before, here, but it is better yet.
Time will tell, and though I whine and complain, I know life has gotten much better.
Oh, someone asked about my Amazon wish list. I only meant that I had made one. And yes, the name is very personalized to this blog and ID. However, I was only saying I was pleased to have been able to create it, use some of the names I like, and such. It is obscure enough that is not meant to be found by others. If you are a gazzilionaire and would like to hand me a katrillion dollars, we will talk. Though I might even turn that down. Well, okay, I might not. Ha! But I did not mean for people to look, buy me stuff, or anything like that. I am sort of weird that way. There is something about pride being bad, but this is not quite that. If I needed to beg, or thought my writing was worth something, I would publish and sell it. If you ever feel bad for me and want to do something, do this: If you have a relationship with God, lend my name to His ear when you two talk; if you do not believe, then simply think kind thoughts my way. And know to, that I believe suffering is not a complete waste. It is not a waste at all. Through suffering joy is born, treasure is stored in heaven through it whether it is experienced because of His name or merely even if it is handed as a poor man's sacrifice as I do. Suffering for it's own sake is one thing, but my suffering is not that. And, I must add, suffering is only a small part of my life. There is much good.
I blather.
*poof*
Thursday, November 5, 2009
It will work out, eventually.
.
.
Troubles in sleepland continue. I have been waking a bit late, but going to bed at a reasonable time. I am holding on, for the moment, against encroaching sleep chaos. I actually think I will make it out of troubles just fine this time. That does not mean I am as active as I would like. I am in one of those weird moods where I seem to be trying to catch my psychic breath... by holding my breath. Okay, so I think it is sort of funny. At least when I looked a little closer and saw what was happening. No wonder things are screwy. Troublesome and bothersome to be sure. But why not enjoy a little laughter in there with it?
My goal at this point is to merely hang on to days and do whatever I can in the meanwhile. This is truly one of the best "slips" I have ever had. I may be discomboobelated, disoriented, confused, and disassociated with flesh. In spite of that, I am keeping a schedule, I am getting some things done, and I could actually do a light schedule. This is unheard of to me. I am not sure if the dreaming is playing a part, but I know I dreamed again last night, heavily, if I remember next to nothing about them this time. I sense that my dreams are becoming epic. I sort of wish I could remember a few of them. My dreams are far better than most movies, or even series of movies. Take the book form of the Lord of the Rings series, make each book into a series of moves so you miss nothing, then do so for all the books, and you end up with an epic dream. Sometimes, if something interests me, like the dead king wraiths or whatever, I can find out more about them (as an example, I have not dreamed such an actual dream). And, I revisit dreams. I cannot make myself dream about one topic or another, but I can guide the dream, or out and out break it if it makes me angry. Though I like good scary ones, as I have said, so I do not change those.
I will figure it out. And if I can, which I think will happen, keep on track until I get back on my feet, I have a really good chance at expanding life here. I have not been blogging or much of anything lately. Never worry, I am fine, just a bit out of it. It is fun to have some visitors while I am 'home sick'. *chirp* Ha!
Have a great day!
.
Troubles in sleepland continue. I have been waking a bit late, but going to bed at a reasonable time. I am holding on, for the moment, against encroaching sleep chaos. I actually think I will make it out of troubles just fine this time. That does not mean I am as active as I would like. I am in one of those weird moods where I seem to be trying to catch my psychic breath... by holding my breath. Okay, so I think it is sort of funny. At least when I looked a little closer and saw what was happening. No wonder things are screwy. Troublesome and bothersome to be sure. But why not enjoy a little laughter in there with it?
My goal at this point is to merely hang on to days and do whatever I can in the meanwhile. This is truly one of the best "slips" I have ever had. I may be discomboobelated, disoriented, confused, and disassociated with flesh. In spite of that, I am keeping a schedule, I am getting some things done, and I could actually do a light schedule. This is unheard of to me. I am not sure if the dreaming is playing a part, but I know I dreamed again last night, heavily, if I remember next to nothing about them this time. I sense that my dreams are becoming epic. I sort of wish I could remember a few of them. My dreams are far better than most movies, or even series of movies. Take the book form of the Lord of the Rings series, make each book into a series of moves so you miss nothing, then do so for all the books, and you end up with an epic dream. Sometimes, if something interests me, like the dead king wraiths or whatever, I can find out more about them (as an example, I have not dreamed such an actual dream). And, I revisit dreams. I cannot make myself dream about one topic or another, but I can guide the dream, or out and out break it if it makes me angry. Though I like good scary ones, as I have said, so I do not change those.
I will figure it out. And if I can, which I think will happen, keep on track until I get back on my feet, I have a really good chance at expanding life here. I have not been blogging or much of anything lately. Never worry, I am fine, just a bit out of it. It is fun to have some visitors while I am 'home sick'. *chirp* Ha!
Have a great day!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I actually got to be Hell Boy.
.
.
Dream bombed last night and through a bunch of snoozes until I turned the thing off, and then some more. Meh, being Hell Boy is just as problematic as being me, or more. It was not just one dream in which I was Hell Boy, either, it was all of them that I remember. That is simply who I was in all the dreaming that I remember, and I remember many dreams. I tried to remember one of the several dreams from last night but waking at nearly noon, the memory is gone. It was sort of funny. I awoke from the dreams and to go to the restroom enough times to know that I do actually dream all night long, to some extent, and then on into the morning. I suspect it was not the dreams which caused me to sleep so long, it was the work yesterday as I have been so sedentary lately. And I do not normally get up late at night to use the facilities, however I was drinking heavily yesterday and last night (non-alcoholic drinks, mind you). It was a thirsty day yesterday.
No problem, I will try to sleep as usual tonight and maintain my schedule. I have had skips and misses before. With a little extra effort, I may well be able to stay the course. I cannot remember, but I would guess it has been two or three weeks now, that I have been getting up early! In spite of little sun and a constant battle to keep this place from being too hot or too cold, and on even through a period when I simply could not tell whether it was too hot or cold. The temps in this apartment run from over 82 (as high as by glass bead in glass tube thermometers go), to in the low 60's. Oddly, I end up using the air conditioning (still!) at nights because everybody seems to crank their heat and then the heater in the day because they turn off all heat when they go. I really cannot wait to get to the new place.
I have been experimenting with the furnace setting there. Just from feel, the low 60's are fine in that house. Since I have not been living there, I cannot be sure. There is a programable thermostat there. I have it set for 72 F at about 5:30 to 7:00, then 60 F at 7:00 to 18:00, 55 F at 21:00 or something, during the weekdays. Then the high of only 68 F in the morning and a little later on the weekends, the rest being the same. But it has always been pleasant when I am there.
I have a few things to do today, and I will probably get several loads either to the apartment or to storage. The hard part is done, now to get the little stuff tended and the carpet here in the apartment kitchen cleaned. Once the router works in the house, I will have no further need of the apartment. A lot of blathering this morning. But I am planning, thinking, and waking up. It helps. I suppose that is why song birds do their thing, at least when it is past breeding season.
*chirp*
Have a great day!
.
Dream bombed last night and through a bunch of snoozes until I turned the thing off, and then some more. Meh, being Hell Boy is just as problematic as being me, or more. It was not just one dream in which I was Hell Boy, either, it was all of them that I remember. That is simply who I was in all the dreaming that I remember, and I remember many dreams. I tried to remember one of the several dreams from last night but waking at nearly noon, the memory is gone. It was sort of funny. I awoke from the dreams and to go to the restroom enough times to know that I do actually dream all night long, to some extent, and then on into the morning. I suspect it was not the dreams which caused me to sleep so long, it was the work yesterday as I have been so sedentary lately. And I do not normally get up late at night to use the facilities, however I was drinking heavily yesterday and last night (non-alcoholic drinks, mind you). It was a thirsty day yesterday.
No problem, I will try to sleep as usual tonight and maintain my schedule. I have had skips and misses before. With a little extra effort, I may well be able to stay the course. I cannot remember, but I would guess it has been two or three weeks now, that I have been getting up early! In spite of little sun and a constant battle to keep this place from being too hot or too cold, and on even through a period when I simply could not tell whether it was too hot or cold. The temps in this apartment run from over 82 (as high as by glass bead in glass tube thermometers go), to in the low 60's. Oddly, I end up using the air conditioning (still!) at nights because everybody seems to crank their heat and then the heater in the day because they turn off all heat when they go. I really cannot wait to get to the new place.
I have been experimenting with the furnace setting there. Just from feel, the low 60's are fine in that house. Since I have not been living there, I cannot be sure. There is a programable thermostat there. I have it set for 72 F at about 5:30 to 7:00, then 60 F at 7:00 to 18:00, 55 F at 21:00 or something, during the weekdays. Then the high of only 68 F in the morning and a little later on the weekends, the rest being the same. But it has always been pleasant when I am there.
I have a few things to do today, and I will probably get several loads either to the apartment or to storage. The hard part is done, now to get the little stuff tended and the carpet here in the apartment kitchen cleaned. Once the router works in the house, I will have no further need of the apartment. A lot of blathering this morning. But I am planning, thinking, and waking up. It helps. I suppose that is why song birds do their thing, at least when it is past breeding season.
*chirp*
Have a great day!
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