.
.
To the appointment I went. Traffic is murder. Just about as soon as the ignorant college punks get off the road, other unfamiliar drivers arrive. Tourists! From 20 to 90, driving mostly like they are in the upper range. Oh, fine, your old and you drive like Mario, only politely. Sure. Anyway. I make it there alive and without pulling someone over, finding a 2x4, and doing what in all of man's history is a natural thing. And we wonder why we have a "population problem". *sigh* Fine, fine, someone is grumpy. As one of my dumb mom's used to say... or all of them?
After the appointment I did not know exactly what to do. A sandwich at the shop I went to a few days ago. Turkey and swiss this time. I like the beef better, but want to check their other fare. Still, not bad, not bad at all. A run to both Wal-Marts and finally to Lowe's. At Wal-Mart, I did buy a contained kitty litter deal with a floor filter and pan, two collars to get her used to a collar before I try to put on the flea collar (which I will do occasionally if not perpetually), and a kitty litter mat to keep her litter where it needs to be. I ended up going to Lowe's, though, because neither Wal-Mart had plant cages. Lowe's did have them.
I did find my shoes, for Church. That will lend to them being polished. Soon, I am sure. I did not find a furniture store I thought would sell parts for the bed frame, though I did not stop in to check. Chain stores, and sidestreet mall stores, which is all I saw, usually do not offer parts or pieces and often cannot order. Or, at least, from my experience. I was not sure what else to do, and it was getting hot. I had, as usual, been trying to call my friend several times after leaving my appointment. Finally, tired and hot, as it was nearing 5:00 or so, I decided to get gas (my usual spot is near his house), then drove over to see if he was there yet. No answer at his door, so I headed out but decided to drive by the city bus depot and see if he was walking back, as a last shot. He was.
So, with all my business done, I asked if he wanted to go to Smokin' Blues. Yep. He had a half rack of ribs (more like a boatload, probably 3 meals for him). I ordered, making sure they were in strips not chopped, a plate of brisket. That will end up being two meals for me. Very good. I do like their sauces. They have three kinds, all with their own use. I probably prefer the hot Texas style, though any could and have come into play depending on mood. But tonight I used no sauce. A couple of beers apiece, a little flirting with the fine filly who served us, and on the way we went. He went home, then so did I.
I would like to work on the sprinkler system tonight, and see if I can get that going. If the cat or fowl or other livestock can wake me early enough, I would water early morning, before 7:00 anyway. Then water again at noon and then in the evening. In truth, watering twice a day is the most likely scenario. Tomatoes, and really all of those types of plants, need a lot of water to grow and produce. With all of the tomatoes flowering and the one bell pepper plant peppering, the cages and watering will go a long way toward seeing life settle in.
Ah, by the way, today was test day at the doctor's office. My right hand grip is sitting at 152 psi, up 8 psi from last time. I had more, but that is enough. The left hand is a gimp 102 or 104, typical male strength. But I could not even use that hand last time, so it's okay. I am hoping the gyro will get that repaired in a few weeks, a month at the outset. But more, my blood pressure was down. I believe it was 156/98. My doc was happy, and asked what I had been doing. I told him I was staying away from other docs. Ha! A cat, a life and home I am working for, goals, and successes, along with normal complications, headaches, work, need, want, plus a change in diet, actually. Still, I am a bit surprised. I thought it would be down, I can sort of tell by the lowered volume of the ringing in my ears, but not that far down. That is almost as good as I do on meds when they work, with Ritalin, and about as good as it got (135/86 being my best, but not good enough for the docs). As for the hand... I want to break 180 psi. And you know what? I think I will... if his machine goes that far.
Well, on to the unfinished dishes (I thought that out well, ran out of time and had to go). Then to figure out the watering system. I will only be going into town twice a week from now on, as I am doing much better, concerning my back and neck. So I had best get my lists and shit straight. Though that does leave another day I could go in earlier and be done earlier (or not), just for shopping and business.
It is all coming together. A bit at a time, a project at a time, and yet... I am stuck on some things. Short term food storage, yeah, I can do that. Long term food storage? Buckets to buy, deciding whether #10 cans or 5 gallon buckets, both and if so in what percentages, then obtaining this and that. Yeah, I have sticky projects. Lots of them. Those too, in time, will receive the jam hammer. Yes they will. Damn it though, why not all of it now! Ugh-a-chugga
Hey, later. Do not say I did not warn you... Wait, one more thing. When I discussed the reaction of the roomful of young women the other day, I may not have been clear. My predator claws and fangs did not come out, nor did I sprout InternetAl or DoesSheLoveMeDoesItMatterClinton horns during the encounter. It was more like seeing an empty box, opening it to check, and finding a bunch of KITTENS! (assuming you are a cat lover) Warm, fuzzy, happy feelings. If I did note beauty, as is it's due. I did note some friskiness too, and I enjoyed that they were at least as surprised and... pleased... by the surprise(?) as I was. I am wondering if my size has something to do with it? Anyway, just so you know.
Now, back to regularly scheduled programming.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Opportunity taken.
.
.
Whatever is wrong with me on those off days, like yesterday, does not intrude on every day. For whatever reason, I could not have done a butt planting today, sowing the seeds of regret and sorrow later. Who knows though, perhaps I simply need that time off when I take it. As I said, today is not a rest day.
I did not make it to city hall, but that will happen. I want to see if I owe money currently, when bills are due, and make sure they have my correct mailing address. Oh, that is something I could tend today as well, getting both of my old mailing addresses sent to this new one. They never did send mail from my original Logan address to my second address, even after 3 attempts to get that done. I think I will put the change of address cards in this post office. Perhaps Logan post offices are... problematic. And, no, I was not the only one. Both the people I "rented" from and my friend had the same problem for various lengths of time. I would guess my hosts corrected their problem more quickly by putting their card in to an Hawaii post office where my friend and myself kept trying to slog through the Logan post offices. Ugh...
I got the bed together! Well, mostly. I do note that the guys who put it together initially did, at best, a shoddy job. I wondered about some things, like why the headboard always came loose. It is not like I had them working in a bad, dangerous, or hot condition. With AC and lenience, too much it seems, I simply let them do their job. They asked if they could skip a couple of pieces (one now lost somewhere), and I consented. At the time, though, I was more interested in getting back in bed than in doing things right. I had little of anything to offer in defense or even offense. And, they took advantage of it. The bed is together correctly, save for the endboards. There is a piece missing that now goes on my list. I have to do something though, I realize now, as otherwise the parts that connect to the endboard will otherwise present a danger. Even a couple of dowels, drilled through, of low height and decent girth, would be safer. I also need better washers for the head and endboards. You would think for nearly $2k, parts would not only be good but right for the construction. Doh!
I watered the plants. They are looking better. All tomato plants have blossoms and the one green pepper plant fruit is getting larger daily it seems. The other plants might or might not do a thing. I am not even sure I will get tomatoes. But it looks good, it is pleasing, and it gives me more daily chores. I do need to get 'baskets' to put around the plants though. The green pepper plant needs support badly, and if tomatoes do come on, those plants will need even more support. That, too, goes on my list... or is refreshed as I see the plants actually surviving. Another thing with that, maybe tonight, is to rig the hoses, timer, and sprayer so as to water the plants more easily. I have 100 feet of hose, which should be enough. The timer is just a twist timer, so I will need to watch it a bit. I am nervous about the sprayer though. I am hoping I can only partially turn on the water and still use both the timer and sprayer. More engineering is at hand, and it simply might not work. In that case, since I still have not returned the leaky watering hose, that might come in to play. Options, gotta have options.
The dishes are soaking, too. A fresh batch of dish water, and some tumbling, before I changed the cat litter out and then watered the plants. I plan on having those done before I head to my appointment. Time is slipping away quickly, and I also need a shower. Shower first, I think. That way if I need to abandon the dishes part way through, I can. Though I doubt it, there really are not that many. Still, think tactically, then move forward... innit?
Good day.
.
Whatever is wrong with me on those off days, like yesterday, does not intrude on every day. For whatever reason, I could not have done a butt planting today, sowing the seeds of regret and sorrow later. Who knows though, perhaps I simply need that time off when I take it. As I said, today is not a rest day.
I did not make it to city hall, but that will happen. I want to see if I owe money currently, when bills are due, and make sure they have my correct mailing address. Oh, that is something I could tend today as well, getting both of my old mailing addresses sent to this new one. They never did send mail from my original Logan address to my second address, even after 3 attempts to get that done. I think I will put the change of address cards in this post office. Perhaps Logan post offices are... problematic. And, no, I was not the only one. Both the people I "rented" from and my friend had the same problem for various lengths of time. I would guess my hosts corrected their problem more quickly by putting their card in to an Hawaii post office where my friend and myself kept trying to slog through the Logan post offices. Ugh...
I got the bed together! Well, mostly. I do note that the guys who put it together initially did, at best, a shoddy job. I wondered about some things, like why the headboard always came loose. It is not like I had them working in a bad, dangerous, or hot condition. With AC and lenience, too much it seems, I simply let them do their job. They asked if they could skip a couple of pieces (one now lost somewhere), and I consented. At the time, though, I was more interested in getting back in bed than in doing things right. I had little of anything to offer in defense or even offense. And, they took advantage of it. The bed is together correctly, save for the endboards. There is a piece missing that now goes on my list. I have to do something though, I realize now, as otherwise the parts that connect to the endboard will otherwise present a danger. Even a couple of dowels, drilled through, of low height and decent girth, would be safer. I also need better washers for the head and endboards. You would think for nearly $2k, parts would not only be good but right for the construction. Doh!
I watered the plants. They are looking better. All tomato plants have blossoms and the one green pepper plant fruit is getting larger daily it seems. The other plants might or might not do a thing. I am not even sure I will get tomatoes. But it looks good, it is pleasing, and it gives me more daily chores. I do need to get 'baskets' to put around the plants though. The green pepper plant needs support badly, and if tomatoes do come on, those plants will need even more support. That, too, goes on my list... or is refreshed as I see the plants actually surviving. Another thing with that, maybe tonight, is to rig the hoses, timer, and sprayer so as to water the plants more easily. I have 100 feet of hose, which should be enough. The timer is just a twist timer, so I will need to watch it a bit. I am nervous about the sprayer though. I am hoping I can only partially turn on the water and still use both the timer and sprayer. More engineering is at hand, and it simply might not work. In that case, since I still have not returned the leaky watering hose, that might come in to play. Options, gotta have options.
The dishes are soaking, too. A fresh batch of dish water, and some tumbling, before I changed the cat litter out and then watered the plants. I plan on having those done before I head to my appointment. Time is slipping away quickly, and I also need a shower. Shower first, I think. That way if I need to abandon the dishes part way through, I can. Though I doubt it, there really are not that many. Still, think tactically, then move forward... innit?
Good day.
The next opportunity.
.
.
Every day is the next opportunity. At least in a bigger picture short term way. Some nights, and even whole days, I fear falling, failing, or even succeeding. Some days, when I crawl into bed, I have more hounds of doubt and fear both their numbers and even any particular one of their ferocity. Too much to do, I do not know how to do any of it sometimes it seems, and there are no easy answers or helpful people to guide or instruct. I seem to making things up whole clothe to do too much of what I am doing. I am not even certain where my finances sit until the bills... for everything... begin to roll in. Not fun. And yet, quite often, with a nightly prayer, a shutting off of the day as I lay my very weary head in spite of nothing having been done, and then some sleep, I get my next chance every morning.
This morning, Sam woke me to let me know she thought outside sounded more fun than inside. Hmm, glasses I thought? Who cares. I just wobbled through the bedroom, living room, kitchen, and then down the hall to the door and fumbled with the locks until the door opened. Then back the return rout to bed, looking at the clock on the way. It was 8:45. I thought the alarm was set to go off at 9:00, but checked. Yep. I simply reset it for a 10:00, seeming quite tired still. And yet, after moments back in bed, I simply got up, turned off the alarm, and started my morning news and blog routine.
Now, as I wake further, plans are beginning to form. I twist the Dyna-Flex, mostly in my wounded hand, but to give it a break also in my good hand. That cranky finger is getting more flexibility back, and strength too. My ability to use it more fully is returning. It will be a while on this, that is the most severe wound I have had in a long while. Still, pushing through the rehab and reading the news, my nearly subconscious mind is thinking about what is to be done, when, and how. As I wake, that background comes more to the fore and I begin developing a plan for the day, or usually. Today I have not yet developed a plan. I merely know what is on my lists of recent days that has gone undone. The bed, the tax rebate, and clearing the boxes. Other things start to ring a bell, dishes, perhaps some laundry (which brings my mind to the fact that I would like to set up a chorus of clothes lines), and that I want to revisit city hall.
And, today, I am pretty sure I will get to some of that. I might get to all of it. I might even get to more of it. When I get busy and go places with my mind and will back in place as if sleep acted on them like my chiropractor functions on my spine, things pop. And, today, possibly, is one of those days. Wasting a crisis? Sure use it as a learning experience, nothing more. Governments do not make money so opportunizing a crisis only costs us and usually in very bad ways. But an opportunity, that is something that should not be flushed. Capitalizing, turning lemons into lemonade, on the next chance is what all life truly is about. Which, in stated truth, means less government and more self. So, it is time for self.
Lots of farm animals can be heard in the mornings here. I know there is a rooster, geese I believe, lambs or goats, horses, mourning doves (which I do not actually appreciate but my mom will love), and some... other animals yet to be identified. I would guess the others are fowl of some sort, though cannot swear to it. It makes such a rich medley for the ears each morning, like breakfast for the mind. As for waking me up... If they can, they are welcome to it. I really am in the right place. Oh, and farm smells. Feed, droppings, the animals themselves... also a plus. Perhaps, truly, I am provincial. I take that as a compliment, if too I know I do not quite fit in here either. It, at this point, is merely sentiment on my part. It is not my way of life. Even should I go down that road to an extent, I will never even be able to be a farmer. If that is never always needed or even the point. I am a stranger at home, but quite happy to be home.
Well, I best do a bit more waking, maybe put the bed together, then shower and see if city hall is doable. Good day.
.
Every day is the next opportunity. At least in a bigger picture short term way. Some nights, and even whole days, I fear falling, failing, or even succeeding. Some days, when I crawl into bed, I have more hounds of doubt and fear both their numbers and even any particular one of their ferocity. Too much to do, I do not know how to do any of it sometimes it seems, and there are no easy answers or helpful people to guide or instruct. I seem to making things up whole clothe to do too much of what I am doing. I am not even certain where my finances sit until the bills... for everything... begin to roll in. Not fun. And yet, quite often, with a nightly prayer, a shutting off of the day as I lay my very weary head in spite of nothing having been done, and then some sleep, I get my next chance every morning.
This morning, Sam woke me to let me know she thought outside sounded more fun than inside. Hmm, glasses I thought? Who cares. I just wobbled through the bedroom, living room, kitchen, and then down the hall to the door and fumbled with the locks until the door opened. Then back the return rout to bed, looking at the clock on the way. It was 8:45. I thought the alarm was set to go off at 9:00, but checked. Yep. I simply reset it for a 10:00, seeming quite tired still. And yet, after moments back in bed, I simply got up, turned off the alarm, and started my morning news and blog routine.
Now, as I wake further, plans are beginning to form. I twist the Dyna-Flex, mostly in my wounded hand, but to give it a break also in my good hand. That cranky finger is getting more flexibility back, and strength too. My ability to use it more fully is returning. It will be a while on this, that is the most severe wound I have had in a long while. Still, pushing through the rehab and reading the news, my nearly subconscious mind is thinking about what is to be done, when, and how. As I wake, that background comes more to the fore and I begin developing a plan for the day, or usually. Today I have not yet developed a plan. I merely know what is on my lists of recent days that has gone undone. The bed, the tax rebate, and clearing the boxes. Other things start to ring a bell, dishes, perhaps some laundry (which brings my mind to the fact that I would like to set up a chorus of clothes lines), and that I want to revisit city hall.
And, today, I am pretty sure I will get to some of that. I might get to all of it. I might even get to more of it. When I get busy and go places with my mind and will back in place as if sleep acted on them like my chiropractor functions on my spine, things pop. And, today, possibly, is one of those days. Wasting a crisis? Sure use it as a learning experience, nothing more. Governments do not make money so opportunizing a crisis only costs us and usually in very bad ways. But an opportunity, that is something that should not be flushed. Capitalizing, turning lemons into lemonade, on the next chance is what all life truly is about. Which, in stated truth, means less government and more self. So, it is time for self.
Lots of farm animals can be heard in the mornings here. I know there is a rooster, geese I believe, lambs or goats, horses, mourning doves (which I do not actually appreciate but my mom will love), and some... other animals yet to be identified. I would guess the others are fowl of some sort, though cannot swear to it. It makes such a rich medley for the ears each morning, like breakfast for the mind. As for waking me up... If they can, they are welcome to it. I really am in the right place. Oh, and farm smells. Feed, droppings, the animals themselves... also a plus. Perhaps, truly, I am provincial. I take that as a compliment, if too I know I do not quite fit in here either. It, at this point, is merely sentiment on my part. It is not my way of life. Even should I go down that road to an extent, I will never even be able to be a farmer. If that is never always needed or even the point. I am a stranger at home, but quite happy to be home.
Well, I best do a bit more waking, maybe put the bed together, then shower and see if city hall is doable. Good day.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Almost nothing done.
.
.
Two meals, a download of the tax forms I need. One of those filled out, or mostly. The other on hold until I can call someone or talk to someone in person. My problem is this. If I file for 2009, I will definitely be in for a quick return. The catch is that I have to file for 2009 taxes as well. Now, that does not matter, in a way, it is simply extra paperwork I am not familiar with, so one more thing that could go wrong. The problem with filing for 2010 is that, though I do not need a tax filing with it, I will have to wait until they process 2010 taxes. I am not sure, exactly, when they do that. I have not filed taxes in over 20 years. These things mean nothing, substantively, to me. We might as well be talking about womens' periods. Huh? *headlighs!* Huh? Yeah.
I did eat the wheat breakfast, but keep messing up on making the next batch. Yeah, well, okay. I added a sliced up grilled charizo to beans and rice for supper. I simply could not pack another meal in there. Plants have been watered. The cat seems happy, plus I have been letting her in and out all day as she pleases. I also began using the Dyna-Flex on my wounded hand. It is ready and I was able to hit it pretty hard. I think it will help straighten out the finger, which was going crooked due to the healing. It still swells, but this might help that in time too, moving fluid out as muscle is reformed and the circulatory paths are fixed or used. I did not check the faxes though. I only hope they went through.
No, for the most part, I sat on my butt and doodled. Blogging, minor games, news hounding, and resting. Although I may or may not change my mind on the ac. After writing that, I went into the other parts of the house. Only this room is all that hot. In part, as I suspect, because of the computer. No dishes were done, the bed was not set up, nothing else. Maybe I hit a plateau. Maybe I am sliding down. Maybe I just press it too much on the days I do work. I am, deep down, feeling burned out. Pressing on is going to be difficult. I will do as much as I can, and try to get some important things done. But, I do not know.
Well, it is not all bad. I have been sleeping small periods, staying awake the whole day, and doing at least snippets of the list. So much to do, so many things to buy, my mother is arriving before long, and, and, and... Yeah, okay. I will just keep doing what I can.
Good night, Grandpa and Grandma. I hope you get to argue where you are, at least a little bit. I do not think you would be happy otherwise?
.
Two meals, a download of the tax forms I need. One of those filled out, or mostly. The other on hold until I can call someone or talk to someone in person. My problem is this. If I file for 2009, I will definitely be in for a quick return. The catch is that I have to file for 2009 taxes as well. Now, that does not matter, in a way, it is simply extra paperwork I am not familiar with, so one more thing that could go wrong. The problem with filing for 2010 is that, though I do not need a tax filing with it, I will have to wait until they process 2010 taxes. I am not sure, exactly, when they do that. I have not filed taxes in over 20 years. These things mean nothing, substantively, to me. We might as well be talking about womens' periods. Huh? *headlighs!* Huh? Yeah.
I did eat the wheat breakfast, but keep messing up on making the next batch. Yeah, well, okay. I added a sliced up grilled charizo to beans and rice for supper. I simply could not pack another meal in there. Plants have been watered. The cat seems happy, plus I have been letting her in and out all day as she pleases. I also began using the Dyna-Flex on my wounded hand. It is ready and I was able to hit it pretty hard. I think it will help straighten out the finger, which was going crooked due to the healing. It still swells, but this might help that in time too, moving fluid out as muscle is reformed and the circulatory paths are fixed or used. I did not check the faxes though. I only hope they went through.
No, for the most part, I sat on my butt and doodled. Blogging, minor games, news hounding, and resting. Although I may or may not change my mind on the ac. After writing that, I went into the other parts of the house. Only this room is all that hot. In part, as I suspect, because of the computer. No dishes were done, the bed was not set up, nothing else. Maybe I hit a plateau. Maybe I am sliding down. Maybe I just press it too much on the days I do work. I am, deep down, feeling burned out. Pressing on is going to be difficult. I will do as much as I can, and try to get some important things done. But, I do not know.
Well, it is not all bad. I have been sleeping small periods, staying awake the whole day, and doing at least snippets of the list. So much to do, so many things to buy, my mother is arriving before long, and, and, and... Yeah, okay. I will just keep doing what I can.
Good night, Grandpa and Grandma. I hope you get to argue where you are, at least a little bit. I do not think you would be happy otherwise?
Memories.
.
.
I was just thinking back to a discussion I had only a year or two ago. I had spoken with this woman on numerous occasions, covering topics from feminism to politics to environmentalism, and so on. We knew each other somewhat well if I would not have called us friends. I would say we had to my mind a mutually satisfying association. As is the case, I do not quibble. Right, wrong, or somewhere in there, I put it up like I see it. Sometimes whoever I am discussing things with can put a few holes in the idea, sometimes they cannot grasp what the thing is. Those latter usually are not included in future discussions. Of course, whoever I am speaking with gets their turn to float notions. And thus time is spent and familiarity gained.
On this particular occasion, after discussing some particularly contentious topic, we discussed the discussion, my opinions, and her nature. She had a strange look on her face, and looked at me a bit sideways as well, and asked if I knew who she was. I thought about saying yes, and asking if we were together on this, to check the logic baffles. Yet, with a simple affirmative word, acknowledged my understanding hoping it was truly a rhetorical question. Then she asked if I understood where she stood on issues. Well, again, but more weakly, the urge to be cautiously humorous or too literal flittered across my mindscape. And again I went with the simple expected, assuming the sanity of my fellow conversant, and acknowledged that I knew.
Why, she asked, if knowing who I am personally and professionally, what my opinions are, and in the naked light of day do you say what you say, she asked. The answer is quite simple. Because I believe what I am saying and because I doubt if you have ever heard what I am saying or thought about other possibilities other than what you have been taught to believe, or at least in a very long time. I think she finally realized that I believed in nothing she said and was not playing the devil's advocate or simply trying to woo her into cuddling, with all that that entails.
She honestly, up to that point, thought I agreed with her. Then, perhaps, realized the pattern in all that I said. And further realized she had no rational defenses. She could not believe that I would trespass on her tranquility, at least knowingly. At some point she probably thought everything I was saying was wrong, until she peeked behind the wizards curtain a time or two to great horror and surprise.
Yes, I knew who she was. Yes, I knew what she believed. None of that mattered a bit. Further, she was the one who would initiate the conversations and often direct the topics, if I would not necessarily let her sneak out of them when the debate was going down hill for her beliefs. She, honestly, needed to hear what I was saying more than most ever will. She had no real experience in life, business, construction, math, or... anything. And yet she held herself up to be an academic and wise woman.
I do not know what impact any of what I said had. But I do know her brain was becoming at odds with her whole belief system. Something woke up, something she had lulled to sleep with years of incessant indoctrination and social events. We spoke after that, as regularly and randomly as before. But there was something different in the relationship. If I had to guess, I would say her evaluation of me, oddly, went up... a great deal. And yet, in discussions, her views did not seem to change a bit. My guess is, as I, Vox, and many others have noted, what a woman says often has nothing to do with what she means. I even realize, had she been to my taste and within certain parameters of interest at the time, a woman like that could very possibly end up being my wife.
It is an ugly cruel world, there are dark clouds everywhere, the possibility of death and dismemberment abound. But, with a little care, patience, and diligence, one can happily scrape off the silver lining and make a wonderful peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Just saying...
.
I was just thinking back to a discussion I had only a year or two ago. I had spoken with this woman on numerous occasions, covering topics from feminism to politics to environmentalism, and so on. We knew each other somewhat well if I would not have called us friends. I would say we had to my mind a mutually satisfying association. As is the case, I do not quibble. Right, wrong, or somewhere in there, I put it up like I see it. Sometimes whoever I am discussing things with can put a few holes in the idea, sometimes they cannot grasp what the thing is. Those latter usually are not included in future discussions. Of course, whoever I am speaking with gets their turn to float notions. And thus time is spent and familiarity gained.
On this particular occasion, after discussing some particularly contentious topic, we discussed the discussion, my opinions, and her nature. She had a strange look on her face, and looked at me a bit sideways as well, and asked if I knew who she was. I thought about saying yes, and asking if we were together on this, to check the logic baffles. Yet, with a simple affirmative word, acknowledged my understanding hoping it was truly a rhetorical question. Then she asked if I understood where she stood on issues. Well, again, but more weakly, the urge to be cautiously humorous or too literal flittered across my mindscape. And again I went with the simple expected, assuming the sanity of my fellow conversant, and acknowledged that I knew.
Why, she asked, if knowing who I am personally and professionally, what my opinions are, and in the naked light of day do you say what you say, she asked. The answer is quite simple. Because I believe what I am saying and because I doubt if you have ever heard what I am saying or thought about other possibilities other than what you have been taught to believe, or at least in a very long time. I think she finally realized that I believed in nothing she said and was not playing the devil's advocate or simply trying to woo her into cuddling, with all that that entails.
She honestly, up to that point, thought I agreed with her. Then, perhaps, realized the pattern in all that I said. And further realized she had no rational defenses. She could not believe that I would trespass on her tranquility, at least knowingly. At some point she probably thought everything I was saying was wrong, until she peeked behind the wizards curtain a time or two to great horror and surprise.
Yes, I knew who she was. Yes, I knew what she believed. None of that mattered a bit. Further, she was the one who would initiate the conversations and often direct the topics, if I would not necessarily let her sneak out of them when the debate was going down hill for her beliefs. She, honestly, needed to hear what I was saying more than most ever will. She had no real experience in life, business, construction, math, or... anything. And yet she held herself up to be an academic and wise woman.
I do not know what impact any of what I said had. But I do know her brain was becoming at odds with her whole belief system. Something woke up, something she had lulled to sleep with years of incessant indoctrination and social events. We spoke after that, as regularly and randomly as before. But there was something different in the relationship. If I had to guess, I would say her evaluation of me, oddly, went up... a great deal. And yet, in discussions, her views did not seem to change a bit. My guess is, as I, Vox, and many others have noted, what a woman says often has nothing to do with what she means. I even realize, had she been to my taste and within certain parameters of interest at the time, a woman like that could very possibly end up being my wife.
It is an ugly cruel world, there are dark clouds everywhere, the possibility of death and dismemberment abound. But, with a little care, patience, and diligence, one can happily scrape off the silver lining and make a wonderful peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Just saying...
Simply too hot.
.
.
Whatever the temp, I really do not care, I know I will not be able to suffer through the summer without air conditioning of some sort. Though I have a thousand other things I would love to get to first, I realize my capacity to do what I wish to do will be heavily compromised by my inability to work in this heat. Therefore, my next project is establishing at least one air conditioner, a number of fans, and begin figuring out how best to deal with the heat.
The good thing, from what I can tell, is that the house is rather well insulated for the most part. Some of the windows are a bit rough, but most are double paned with a decent air cushion between the panes. The front room, where I currently sit and have my computer, is on the south side, so gets hit hard. As an addition, even well insulated, it does not have the protection of the heavy stone of the main house nor as much shading as might be optimal. Though wherever I put the computer is going to be hotter, it is the nature of that beast. I may, in the long run, consider putting in a weather-proof door between it and the main house. There are a number of things, like that, which might be useful in the longer run but which are too cost and time demanding along with the rest of what is going on to accomplish currently. All new windows downstairs, another couple of compartmentalizations, and probably central air. As well, this fall I will be looking for two more trees. I also need to, in time, discuss the condition of the trees I have and how and when I should begin planning for their replacements. It would be unwise to let these things just go.
I have been dithering between a swamp cooler and central air. After my preliminary investigation though, I am probably going with central air conditioning. Though it costs more to run, it is certainly less expensive than the short term options I will be using this summer. If I worked during the day, only being home in the later afternoons and early mornings, I would not need this. But such is not my lot. I am simply here and it is simply too hot. Further, this is only early summer. Two more months, at least, plus higher heat and less cooling at night means my hopes for a simpler living style are not possible.
Another wheat breakfast was in the offing this morning. I do taste the malt flavor. It sort of has a vanilla and corn flavor to it. I added a bit of sugar today, which made it taste a lot like corn fresh off the cob. It is quite filling. Now, my bm's are a bit odd. I was wondering if I would be going more often, or with other changes. I did not quite understand what D.C. meant, I think, if I did think I did at the time. I am going less often but more densely. Volume and density is way up. I am, I would say, laying lead bricks. My toilets, I think, are old and of the everflush variety. And they struggle. Sometimes I have to let the logs soak. A few times I thought the plunger (which I cannot find) would be needed. Logs, I tell you!
Not much will be completed today. I really am hoping to find instructions for the tax form and find which of those 100's of pages in my closing documents is needed, and have that ready to take to town for mailing tomorrow. I also hope to clear the packing material and cardboard boxes to the trash or recycling as per those rules. Perhaps I will boil some eggs, wash that silverware set in the way, and ready for the next round of kitchen set up, whenever that might happen. I would also love to get the bed officially set up too. It looks like too much work for what I have available and how I am feeling, but it could all happen. Or, little of it could happen. Aspirin, I think, before that. A little time out tinkering some more. Watering the plants to get me outside for a bit. And then I will think on it.
Bah! And again. Bah!
.
Whatever the temp, I really do not care, I know I will not be able to suffer through the summer without air conditioning of some sort. Though I have a thousand other things I would love to get to first, I realize my capacity to do what I wish to do will be heavily compromised by my inability to work in this heat. Therefore, my next project is establishing at least one air conditioner, a number of fans, and begin figuring out how best to deal with the heat.
The good thing, from what I can tell, is that the house is rather well insulated for the most part. Some of the windows are a bit rough, but most are double paned with a decent air cushion between the panes. The front room, where I currently sit and have my computer, is on the south side, so gets hit hard. As an addition, even well insulated, it does not have the protection of the heavy stone of the main house nor as much shading as might be optimal. Though wherever I put the computer is going to be hotter, it is the nature of that beast. I may, in the long run, consider putting in a weather-proof door between it and the main house. There are a number of things, like that, which might be useful in the longer run but which are too cost and time demanding along with the rest of what is going on to accomplish currently. All new windows downstairs, another couple of compartmentalizations, and probably central air. As well, this fall I will be looking for two more trees. I also need to, in time, discuss the condition of the trees I have and how and when I should begin planning for their replacements. It would be unwise to let these things just go.
I have been dithering between a swamp cooler and central air. After my preliminary investigation though, I am probably going with central air conditioning. Though it costs more to run, it is certainly less expensive than the short term options I will be using this summer. If I worked during the day, only being home in the later afternoons and early mornings, I would not need this. But such is not my lot. I am simply here and it is simply too hot. Further, this is only early summer. Two more months, at least, plus higher heat and less cooling at night means my hopes for a simpler living style are not possible.
Another wheat breakfast was in the offing this morning. I do taste the malt flavor. It sort of has a vanilla and corn flavor to it. I added a bit of sugar today, which made it taste a lot like corn fresh off the cob. It is quite filling. Now, my bm's are a bit odd. I was wondering if I would be going more often, or with other changes. I did not quite understand what D.C. meant, I think, if I did think I did at the time. I am going less often but more densely. Volume and density is way up. I am, I would say, laying lead bricks. My toilets, I think, are old and of the everflush variety. And they struggle. Sometimes I have to let the logs soak. A few times I thought the plunger (which I cannot find) would be needed. Logs, I tell you!
Not much will be completed today. I really am hoping to find instructions for the tax form and find which of those 100's of pages in my closing documents is needed, and have that ready to take to town for mailing tomorrow. I also hope to clear the packing material and cardboard boxes to the trash or recycling as per those rules. Perhaps I will boil some eggs, wash that silverware set in the way, and ready for the next round of kitchen set up, whenever that might happen. I would also love to get the bed officially set up too. It looks like too much work for what I have available and how I am feeling, but it could all happen. Or, little of it could happen. Aspirin, I think, before that. A little time out tinkering some more. Watering the plants to get me outside for a bit. And then I will think on it.
Bah! And again. Bah!
Dream thoughts.
.
.
As I shake the dust of sleep from my eyes, pull the jello flesh more tightly to the bones which act as my support stones, and mull life, thoughts seem to flow so easily. Random thoughts come and go. A few themes develop from time to time in that flow. And as I work through my boot process, these themes are sometimes followed down whatever rabbit holes appear to lead to where I think the white rabbit will be. Some mornings are more entertaining. Some are dark, with foreboding, mystery, darkness, and pain everywhere. There is no necessary rhyme or reason to where or what, they just happen. Sometimes, if waking up is proving difficult, I may go into dream states and almost literally see what my mind is doing, like watching a movie of what my mind is developing. This morning, a couple of the notions, if they did not go all that far, have been playing on the screen. One is about the why of liberalism. The other about feminism, if more lightly treated and reviewed.
I wondered why someone would vote, or support, or propose things that are plainly not true. I wondered why people would devote their whole lives to getting other people to believe in something patently false, baldfaced lies, and detrimental governance. I did split the groups up, as must be done. Some of those, to a greater degree, are merely doing what they were told by those they have given authority on the matters or over their lives. None of these are purely innocent. Yet they are merely pawns. The other group are the people who know precisely what they are doing, they understand why they are doing it. Whether they are more amoral or immoral is another matter, though here too I see no purity regarding immoral or amoral reasoning there.
Those who have surrendered their right to think for themselves often simply accept what they are told by those they consider their betters. Often these are people, oddly, who decry social order and having rules imposed upon them. Or put in a more direct manner, people who do things society does not accept. They may do things that are, beyond that, clearly outside of the law. I am not discussing speeding 5 miles over the limit, or even necessarily smoking pot once or twice a month. I am talking about people who deal in drugs or other black market goods or whose living is dependent upon that, like the girlfriend or wife of a smuggler. Of course, there is not an absolute need to be directly related to either a criminal type, the illicit actions, or the money. Some people simply have friendships, almost exclusively, in those groups. Pedophiles, necrophiliacs, heavy drug users, even heavy porn consumers and drinkers might well fit in this category. There are others, but that sort of gives a gist.
Those who prepare the orders for the above, or the troops as they might be called, are a different matter altogether. These people consciously develop strategies to both give the troops cover, expand "rights" in illicit areas, and produce advertising strategies that are comparable to anything major companies can put out in order to expand the rolls of the troops. These people, from "gay rights" activists to drug lords, work diligently to expand their markets, include more people through direct or indirect involvement, and to engage the political powers both illicitly and through seemingly legal means. Socialism and communism fit here, as they exhibit the same types of behaviors and programs.
I was thinking back to when Vox translated Mussolini's motto. All for the state, nothing but the state, nothing against the state, if I remember correctly. If not that serves quite well as at least a tolerable paraphrase. Now, for the 'generals' of whatever liar group you wish to examine, replace "state" with their group and you about have it. Try, 'All for gays, nothing but gays, nothing against gays.' or 'All for the union, nothing but the union, nothing against the union.', and you will begin to see how these false groups work. They all, often, base their advocacy on populist socialist techniques. This generally works better on the left, for some reason. A group that prides itself on it's independence and free spirit. The irony becomes quite plain quickly.
As for the 'little Indians'? They find their own reasons to follow whichever of these socialist populist 3 step self "help" groups they choose for their own tastes. Old women porn your thing? Well, there is a group for that. Add in unions, academia, and a large serving of welfare, and their is a decent bloc from which to gather support. It is a mix and match thing. If these people are not trying to change the world, they are trying to keep what they kill. There logic, when looked at for just a bit, and thought about at all, is so weak it is mush. Though it is the same with their leaders. The difference is their leaders get the media to repeat things so often that they often pass from the consciousness of doubt. How many here believe that lesbians make devoted, loving, happy couples? Do an FBI statistics check on domestic violence, a general social review on infidelity, and a numbers sniff about drug use in that group. Just look, in other words. And yet... why... you never knew!
As for feminism, I just had a funny bone thought. Well, it did not start out as comic, it just morphed into it with my final moments of thought. It started out considering the problem with parity regardless of sex. I related this to other topics, and then thought, what if we decided all things everywhere must be equal. All appliances, all lighting sources, all electrical devices, all of it, had to run on the same amount of electricity, the same wattage, voltage, and current. This would, to be sure, save on complexity for electric providers, electricians (if many would die), and it would be a ton more efficient. Step down transformers, step down and up converters, inverters, and all other electrical/mechanical thingamabobs are inefficiencies, they lose power in the process. People would die, buildings would burn, and life would become hairy for electricians.
Women were never made to be in parity with men. Biological differences make that impossible. Biochemical reactions make that impossible. Even brain size and function alone, given an equal biochemical stimulus, makes that impossible. And yet, here we are, in a "modern" "scientific" nation firing the head of a elite university for even suggesting the truth. The modernists are no more out of stone-age emotionalism then any pre- or post- modern religion they can point out. Simply it is their emotionalism which has power, a power they are not willing to concede, but not due to logic at all. Oh, the funny thing... About parity... Imagine if feminists had pushed for, and the law had seen fit to stride for and to some degree achieved... weight parity! With some feminists today, sure, but imagine if this was the intent of schools. Stuff feeding girls so they weigh the same as boys of the same height! What a gas! No, I mean it. What a gas!
Pun, as an afterthought, included.
Have a good day.
.
As I shake the dust of sleep from my eyes, pull the jello flesh more tightly to the bones which act as my support stones, and mull life, thoughts seem to flow so easily. Random thoughts come and go. A few themes develop from time to time in that flow. And as I work through my boot process, these themes are sometimes followed down whatever rabbit holes appear to lead to where I think the white rabbit will be. Some mornings are more entertaining. Some are dark, with foreboding, mystery, darkness, and pain everywhere. There is no necessary rhyme or reason to where or what, they just happen. Sometimes, if waking up is proving difficult, I may go into dream states and almost literally see what my mind is doing, like watching a movie of what my mind is developing. This morning, a couple of the notions, if they did not go all that far, have been playing on the screen. One is about the why of liberalism. The other about feminism, if more lightly treated and reviewed.
I wondered why someone would vote, or support, or propose things that are plainly not true. I wondered why people would devote their whole lives to getting other people to believe in something patently false, baldfaced lies, and detrimental governance. I did split the groups up, as must be done. Some of those, to a greater degree, are merely doing what they were told by those they have given authority on the matters or over their lives. None of these are purely innocent. Yet they are merely pawns. The other group are the people who know precisely what they are doing, they understand why they are doing it. Whether they are more amoral or immoral is another matter, though here too I see no purity regarding immoral or amoral reasoning there.
Those who have surrendered their right to think for themselves often simply accept what they are told by those they consider their betters. Often these are people, oddly, who decry social order and having rules imposed upon them. Or put in a more direct manner, people who do things society does not accept. They may do things that are, beyond that, clearly outside of the law. I am not discussing speeding 5 miles over the limit, or even necessarily smoking pot once or twice a month. I am talking about people who deal in drugs or other black market goods or whose living is dependent upon that, like the girlfriend or wife of a smuggler. Of course, there is not an absolute need to be directly related to either a criminal type, the illicit actions, or the money. Some people simply have friendships, almost exclusively, in those groups. Pedophiles, necrophiliacs, heavy drug users, even heavy porn consumers and drinkers might well fit in this category. There are others, but that sort of gives a gist.
Those who prepare the orders for the above, or the troops as they might be called, are a different matter altogether. These people consciously develop strategies to both give the troops cover, expand "rights" in illicit areas, and produce advertising strategies that are comparable to anything major companies can put out in order to expand the rolls of the troops. These people, from "gay rights" activists to drug lords, work diligently to expand their markets, include more people through direct or indirect involvement, and to engage the political powers both illicitly and through seemingly legal means. Socialism and communism fit here, as they exhibit the same types of behaviors and programs.
I was thinking back to when Vox translated Mussolini's motto. All for the state, nothing but the state, nothing against the state, if I remember correctly. If not that serves quite well as at least a tolerable paraphrase. Now, for the 'generals' of whatever liar group you wish to examine, replace "state" with their group and you about have it. Try, 'All for gays, nothing but gays, nothing against gays.' or 'All for the union, nothing but the union, nothing against the union.', and you will begin to see how these false groups work. They all, often, base their advocacy on populist socialist techniques. This generally works better on the left, for some reason. A group that prides itself on it's independence and free spirit. The irony becomes quite plain quickly.
As for the 'little Indians'? They find their own reasons to follow whichever of these socialist populist 3 step self "help" groups they choose for their own tastes. Old women porn your thing? Well, there is a group for that. Add in unions, academia, and a large serving of welfare, and their is a decent bloc from which to gather support. It is a mix and match thing. If these people are not trying to change the world, they are trying to keep what they kill. There logic, when looked at for just a bit, and thought about at all, is so weak it is mush. Though it is the same with their leaders. The difference is their leaders get the media to repeat things so often that they often pass from the consciousness of doubt. How many here believe that lesbians make devoted, loving, happy couples? Do an FBI statistics check on domestic violence, a general social review on infidelity, and a numbers sniff about drug use in that group. Just look, in other words. And yet... why... you never knew!
As for feminism, I just had a funny bone thought. Well, it did not start out as comic, it just morphed into it with my final moments of thought. It started out considering the problem with parity regardless of sex. I related this to other topics, and then thought, what if we decided all things everywhere must be equal. All appliances, all lighting sources, all electrical devices, all of it, had to run on the same amount of electricity, the same wattage, voltage, and current. This would, to be sure, save on complexity for electric providers, electricians (if many would die), and it would be a ton more efficient. Step down transformers, step down and up converters, inverters, and all other electrical/mechanical thingamabobs are inefficiencies, they lose power in the process. People would die, buildings would burn, and life would become hairy for electricians.
Women were never made to be in parity with men. Biological differences make that impossible. Biochemical reactions make that impossible. Even brain size and function alone, given an equal biochemical stimulus, makes that impossible. And yet, here we are, in a "modern" "scientific" nation firing the head of a elite university for even suggesting the truth. The modernists are no more out of stone-age emotionalism then any pre- or post- modern religion they can point out. Simply it is their emotionalism which has power, a power they are not willing to concede, but not due to logic at all. Oh, the funny thing... About parity... Imagine if feminists had pushed for, and the law had seen fit to stride for and to some degree achieved... weight parity! With some feminists today, sure, but imagine if this was the intent of schools. Stuff feeding girls so they weigh the same as boys of the same height! What a gas! No, I mean it. What a gas!
Pun, as an afterthought, included.
Have a good day.
Just a bit more done.
.
.
Cooling off always helps. It has cooled off both outside, soon to be inside, and I have as well, or am on the way to that. I might need to add a bit more water in on top of everything else though.
The fax does work, if it took a bit of reading and experimenting to do what I wanted done. I think the letters they wanted have been sent. Though they received two blank ones to start off. I put them in upside down, while juggling all of the new to me steps and potential and actual mistakes or at least unnecessary steps and button presses. I will call them tomorrow and find out if they have indeed received the letters. After tinkering with that, I also pulled down the IRS form, updated thankfully, for the tax credit. I am pretty sure, since my income is from the V.A. for service connected disability, and SS disability, my modified adjusted gross is $0.00, however I have decided to check on that and a few other things. So, that will not be filled out tonight. As well, I am supposed to include some particular paper from the closing, however, I have a manual sized grouping of papers and I have no clue at this point which one they want.
No boxes where broken down, no packing sorted, and yet that is fine. I seem to have a go-get-em' attitude that finds me trying to do, or at least scheduling, more than I can reasonably accomplish. If I can keep track of what I missed, what is coming up that is time sensitive, and some other things, I will do well. I am missing some things, but fill in where I can. I am, to a greater degree, working to get as much of the mundane periodic payments automated, trying to find a pattern in this mess from which to base a regular life upon, and hoping many of these demands will fade a bit into the background so that I might have time to focus on some of the things I actually feel a need to do, such as swimming, fixing the hen house roof, cutting some branches over power lines to one of the barns, and living a bit more of a relaxed life... At least until I can gather finances, strength, will, and whatever, for the next big project. I would guess it will be another month or two until I am on my feet enough to rest a bit.
I would be totally overwhelmed if I thought this was how it would be for the rest of my life. I would hike somewhere and stay out there. I simply cannot tolerate this level of intensity, at least at this point, for long periods of time. I do know the time will come when I can access a bit of a breath, take some serious downtime (if trying to stay active and maybe exploring the neighborhood and meeting local people). Or, really, more time for what I want to do and less time being 'stolen' by necessity.
I am learning a great deal. From how to fax, to how to construct a grill or put in a faucet. I am beginning to resist so much new and strange things coming into my life. I like knowing, I like learning, but I need a break from it from time to time. Every day, something new which leads to three other new processes, skills, or people. Too much too fast. My head is spinning. But I know, as I said, this time of demand will pass.
But darn it, I want to hike to the lake and swim, I want to hike in the mountains, I would like to set up the weights and work with them once in a while, and I want to relax a bit in my new home. Of course, it is not even set up, so that complicates that scenario even if I did force some downtime. On the good side, it is all coming together, and rather well. Perfection is for another life, but a good solid B+ will work here and now. Good guidance, a little effort, a decent bean on my block (if I do say so myself), and... I am getting there.
Grumble as I may, tired as I am, it is all good. Sleep well.
.
Cooling off always helps. It has cooled off both outside, soon to be inside, and I have as well, or am on the way to that. I might need to add a bit more water in on top of everything else though.
The fax does work, if it took a bit of reading and experimenting to do what I wanted done. I think the letters they wanted have been sent. Though they received two blank ones to start off. I put them in upside down, while juggling all of the new to me steps and potential and actual mistakes or at least unnecessary steps and button presses. I will call them tomorrow and find out if they have indeed received the letters. After tinkering with that, I also pulled down the IRS form, updated thankfully, for the tax credit. I am pretty sure, since my income is from the V.A. for service connected disability, and SS disability, my modified adjusted gross is $0.00, however I have decided to check on that and a few other things. So, that will not be filled out tonight. As well, I am supposed to include some particular paper from the closing, however, I have a manual sized grouping of papers and I have no clue at this point which one they want.
No boxes where broken down, no packing sorted, and yet that is fine. I seem to have a go-get-em' attitude that finds me trying to do, or at least scheduling, more than I can reasonably accomplish. If I can keep track of what I missed, what is coming up that is time sensitive, and some other things, I will do well. I am missing some things, but fill in where I can. I am, to a greater degree, working to get as much of the mundane periodic payments automated, trying to find a pattern in this mess from which to base a regular life upon, and hoping many of these demands will fade a bit into the background so that I might have time to focus on some of the things I actually feel a need to do, such as swimming, fixing the hen house roof, cutting some branches over power lines to one of the barns, and living a bit more of a relaxed life... At least until I can gather finances, strength, will, and whatever, for the next big project. I would guess it will be another month or two until I am on my feet enough to rest a bit.
I would be totally overwhelmed if I thought this was how it would be for the rest of my life. I would hike somewhere and stay out there. I simply cannot tolerate this level of intensity, at least at this point, for long periods of time. I do know the time will come when I can access a bit of a breath, take some serious downtime (if trying to stay active and maybe exploring the neighborhood and meeting local people). Or, really, more time for what I want to do and less time being 'stolen' by necessity.
I am learning a great deal. From how to fax, to how to construct a grill or put in a faucet. I am beginning to resist so much new and strange things coming into my life. I like knowing, I like learning, but I need a break from it from time to time. Every day, something new which leads to three other new processes, skills, or people. Too much too fast. My head is spinning. But I know, as I said, this time of demand will pass.
But darn it, I want to hike to the lake and swim, I want to hike in the mountains, I would like to set up the weights and work with them once in a while, and I want to relax a bit in my new home. Of course, it is not even set up, so that complicates that scenario even if I did force some downtime. On the good side, it is all coming together, and rather well. Perfection is for another life, but a good solid B+ will work here and now. Good guidance, a little effort, a decent bean on my block (if I do say so myself), and... I am getting there.
Grumble as I may, tired as I am, it is all good. Sleep well.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Steak!
.
.
I have been a good boy. I have been working every day, if little some days, for... a while now. Does anyone remember the posts from Iowa? I would sometime sleep days, I would lose track of... everything, for... extended periods of time. Months would go by with no more done than... dishes. I was trapped, isolated, confused, and crippled. Not so much so today. Crippled, I suppose, but not like that. If I was comparable to a quadriplegic, I am now a paraplegic. More, I am getting better.
I did not know, coming out here, I would do any better. I might well have settled down in an apartment, lacking the drive or will to find and fight for a home that fit my needs within my budget, and just died. And though I may still die, it will not be from a lack of concerted effort not only to live, but thrive, grow, mature, and develop myself and now the property that has come into my stewardship.
So, a steak was cooked. I also cooked chorizo, though as minor adds to the beans and rice, or whatever. That grill is indeed working better as it becomes seasoned. I may have mentioned this, but I recently purchased a ribeye roast, and had it cut to order. Half of it was sliced 1 1/4 inches, the other half was cut into 1 1/2 inch ribeye roasts! I had the latter. Oh, my, what a fine steer. A baked potato and a couple of beers finished the deal off cleanly.
I forgot to mention that earlier today, while doing my events, I ran into a passel of women. Young, beautiful, women. No, not college girls. These were in their 20's, except for one teenybopper. There must have been, I dunno, a small room full of them. And they were not together. When I walked into the area, surprised by the wonderful event, I meant to duck and scoot. I am no longer a lion, I have retired my youthful ways (and form) and they were so young. Wow! Whatever I used to have must be still in play to some degree. Some ogled me, really. One, the one who caught my eye and slowed my advance, nearly said something. I saw her jaws starting to jaw then quit a time or two, like I was leaving in slow motion. She, in my book, was an 8. No makeup, no heels, just everyday wear. And you know what I think of 8's. Even the teenybopper, not quite sure what was happening but caught the drift quickly, smiled quite nicely, either trying to fit in or really catching something of her own. I do not think she knows what it is about, but seemed catch onto something quickly. Oh, it was mostly just nice, mostly. Pleasant smiles and nods and whatnot. Still, one thing I do know, women are rarely just nice for no reason. Not that nice. Was it Sir Galahad? Just a little peril? No? You must be gay. Anyway, paint me pleased. And, humbled, a little weak (but I did not show it), and excited about the prospects. I am in the land of real women. And, I think they think I am a real man. BoYeah!
Well, a few things will be done tonight. The steak was a gift for good done, with a promise that more would follow. I will try to figure out the fax and get those things sent in. I will pull down and print the IRS forms to get the tax rebate, and fill out what I must for that and have it ready to mail. And I will do as much as I can in the kitchen with the empty boxes being torn down and the paper packing getting a fine toothed comb going through to make sure I did not miss anything.
By the way, my lady friend packed things better than any pro on the planet. She will get some dividends soon enough. Some paddles, wooden ones, ones with a crook in them to ease the pain she gets in her wrists. I meant to get those anyway, but not the case for them that will be along with them. Small things in a way, huge things to someone who has nothing. She earned those, if it is going to hurt to stretch for them.
Hey, yeah, later or good night. Prayers for all of you, want, need, or even like aside. Be well!
.
I have been a good boy. I have been working every day, if little some days, for... a while now. Does anyone remember the posts from Iowa? I would sometime sleep days, I would lose track of... everything, for... extended periods of time. Months would go by with no more done than... dishes. I was trapped, isolated, confused, and crippled. Not so much so today. Crippled, I suppose, but not like that. If I was comparable to a quadriplegic, I am now a paraplegic. More, I am getting better.
I did not know, coming out here, I would do any better. I might well have settled down in an apartment, lacking the drive or will to find and fight for a home that fit my needs within my budget, and just died. And though I may still die, it will not be from a lack of concerted effort not only to live, but thrive, grow, mature, and develop myself and now the property that has come into my stewardship.
So, a steak was cooked. I also cooked chorizo, though as minor adds to the beans and rice, or whatever. That grill is indeed working better as it becomes seasoned. I may have mentioned this, but I recently purchased a ribeye roast, and had it cut to order. Half of it was sliced 1 1/4 inches, the other half was cut into 1 1/2 inch ribeye roasts! I had the latter. Oh, my, what a fine steer. A baked potato and a couple of beers finished the deal off cleanly.
I forgot to mention that earlier today, while doing my events, I ran into a passel of women. Young, beautiful, women. No, not college girls. These were in their 20's, except for one teenybopper. There must have been, I dunno, a small room full of them. And they were not together. When I walked into the area, surprised by the wonderful event, I meant to duck and scoot. I am no longer a lion, I have retired my youthful ways (and form) and they were so young. Wow! Whatever I used to have must be still in play to some degree. Some ogled me, really. One, the one who caught my eye and slowed my advance, nearly said something. I saw her jaws starting to jaw then quit a time or two, like I was leaving in slow motion. She, in my book, was an 8. No makeup, no heels, just everyday wear. And you know what I think of 8's. Even the teenybopper, not quite sure what was happening but caught the drift quickly, smiled quite nicely, either trying to fit in or really catching something of her own. I do not think she knows what it is about, but seemed catch onto something quickly. Oh, it was mostly just nice, mostly. Pleasant smiles and nods and whatnot. Still, one thing I do know, women are rarely just nice for no reason. Not that nice. Was it Sir Galahad? Just a little peril? No? You must be gay. Anyway, paint me pleased. And, humbled, a little weak (but I did not show it), and excited about the prospects. I am in the land of real women. And, I think they think I am a real man. BoYeah!
Well, a few things will be done tonight. The steak was a gift for good done, with a promise that more would follow. I will try to figure out the fax and get those things sent in. I will pull down and print the IRS forms to get the tax rebate, and fill out what I must for that and have it ready to mail. And I will do as much as I can in the kitchen with the empty boxes being torn down and the paper packing getting a fine toothed comb going through to make sure I did not miss anything.
By the way, my lady friend packed things better than any pro on the planet. She will get some dividends soon enough. Some paddles, wooden ones, ones with a crook in them to ease the pain she gets in her wrists. I meant to get those anyway, but not the case for them that will be along with them. Small things in a way, huge things to someone who has nothing. She earned those, if it is going to hurt to stretch for them.
Hey, yeah, later or good night. Prayers for all of you, want, need, or even like aside. Be well!
Wouchies!
.
.
It is not hot. It is fry me weather. And I am not alone. The temps seem to be saying it is only in the 90's, but for some reason if feels much hotter. Perhaps the temps are getting up faster, staying longer, and the nights are not cooling off as much. Whatever the reason, the visit to town was cut shorter today. I simply could not keep it together.
I did stop in at the coop and buy a couple of bundles of various grains for breakfast alternatives, lunch, and other experiments. I bought several textures and types of grain, and will be figuring them out soon enough. I also visited the local outlet for food stores. It is really great. Beyond the capacity to buy in bulk, bringing my own 5 gallon buckets all set up or I can buy empty #10 cans there and they will pack those, with the necessary bits that help maintain the contents. So, I will be looking over prices, soon, and deciding what they have is of interest, how best to pack it, and such. The white rice is out. I will simply have to buy brown rice and store it in 5 gallon buckets myself. White rice is deficient in too much of what would be vital in a SHTF scenarios. Everything else looks good.
I then called my friend, to see if he wanted to be a man about town. Sointenly, Curly! Or, was it Moe? Well, I could have sworn that is what he said. Oh, a wiseguy? Says I. Anyway, we went to Wal-Mart, to look at their wheelbarrows. All plastic tubbed, so a no go. I had stopped at Lowe's earlier. They have steel tubs, but they come as kits. I saw the price for the tubs, between $44 and $165, but not for the kits. Perhaps that was all included, just not assembled, but if so there was no indication of that on the price. The one guy working out there did not seem to speak English. O... kay... Then we went to a bread shop, which also serves as a deli. A sandwich sounded good, and it was. Beef on a rye or pumpernickel bread, with nice veggies and a horseradish mayonnaise mix for an added touch. I also bought a couple of loaves of half and half wheat/white bread.
After that, though, I was shot. I could not even figure out what I wanted to do next. It was simply too hot. So, I took my friend to his house, suggested we go shooting some time this week, and headed home myself. I am still a bit too warm to do too much. I figure a quick shower, change into shorts, and some chill time before I do much more. We will see if I can get to anything until I do chill.
Later.
.
It is not hot. It is fry me weather. And I am not alone. The temps seem to be saying it is only in the 90's, but for some reason if feels much hotter. Perhaps the temps are getting up faster, staying longer, and the nights are not cooling off as much. Whatever the reason, the visit to town was cut shorter today. I simply could not keep it together.
I did stop in at the coop and buy a couple of bundles of various grains for breakfast alternatives, lunch, and other experiments. I bought several textures and types of grain, and will be figuring them out soon enough. I also visited the local outlet for food stores. It is really great. Beyond the capacity to buy in bulk, bringing my own 5 gallon buckets all set up or I can buy empty #10 cans there and they will pack those, with the necessary bits that help maintain the contents. So, I will be looking over prices, soon, and deciding what they have is of interest, how best to pack it, and such. The white rice is out. I will simply have to buy brown rice and store it in 5 gallon buckets myself. White rice is deficient in too much of what would be vital in a SHTF scenarios. Everything else looks good.
I then called my friend, to see if he wanted to be a man about town. Sointenly, Curly! Or, was it Moe? Well, I could have sworn that is what he said. Oh, a wiseguy? Says I. Anyway, we went to Wal-Mart, to look at their wheelbarrows. All plastic tubbed, so a no go. I had stopped at Lowe's earlier. They have steel tubs, but they come as kits. I saw the price for the tubs, between $44 and $165, but not for the kits. Perhaps that was all included, just not assembled, but if so there was no indication of that on the price. The one guy working out there did not seem to speak English. O... kay... Then we went to a bread shop, which also serves as a deli. A sandwich sounded good, and it was. Beef on a rye or pumpernickel bread, with nice veggies and a horseradish mayonnaise mix for an added touch. I also bought a couple of loaves of half and half wheat/white bread.
After that, though, I was shot. I could not even figure out what I wanted to do next. It was simply too hot. So, I took my friend to his house, suggested we go shooting some time this week, and headed home myself. I am still a bit too warm to do too much. I figure a quick shower, change into shorts, and some chill time before I do much more. We will see if I can get to anything until I do chill.
Later.
Another week!
.
.
Excited, meh. And yet, yes. I am not sure what I am doing, how much I have left, how much more will come down the pipeline, or anything. I am a bit dazed and confused from the level of activity, the demands, the work that has to be done, and the work I want to do. That is not including the non-work projects, or simply living. Yeah, okay, things are a bit fuzzy. My choices seem limited to quitting, taking a nap and checking things in a bit, carrying on at half steam, or damn the torpedoes... ramming speed! I am aiming for somewhere between those last two choices. Damn the half steam!
I did cook rice this morning, and added it to beans for a decent lunch. My body is starting to crave what I used to consider goo foods. I think I will be looking over other foods while in town today. I plan on stopping in and looking over the long term food store, the coop where I will investigate other good grain type foods for short term trials, and get to buying the short term (3 to 6 month) storage foods on my list, and then some. Between these foods and the butcher shop, I think I will find myself in good (truly) eats and on my way to a better short, medium, and long term eating habit and survival situation. Yeah, it seems easy, but look how long it took me to get here, get here here, set up enough to begin this, and finally today to activate the purchasing. I almost break into a sweat thinking about it. Do not look back.
Yep, beans and rice for lunch, with a touch of sour cream, a little salt, and I am ready to burn a little energy. Beside the appointment and purchases, I may stop in and check on my friend. If he is around and up to it, I may take him along. No shooting or cruising today though. Perhaps Thursday will be another shooting day? Yes, that would be good. Beside checking on him, I want to see if he has made progress seeing the doctor about fixing his nose. My mother has taken care of what I needed her to take care of, so on that front I am half done.
I do have some things to do and time is running short. So, into the saddle and away. Good luck on getting going, getting it done, and staying with it. Remember what you do not do today may haunt your sleep or at least still be there tomorrow. Good day.
.
Excited, meh. And yet, yes. I am not sure what I am doing, how much I have left, how much more will come down the pipeline, or anything. I am a bit dazed and confused from the level of activity, the demands, the work that has to be done, and the work I want to do. That is not including the non-work projects, or simply living. Yeah, okay, things are a bit fuzzy. My choices seem limited to quitting, taking a nap and checking things in a bit, carrying on at half steam, or damn the torpedoes... ramming speed! I am aiming for somewhere between those last two choices. Damn the half steam!
I did cook rice this morning, and added it to beans for a decent lunch. My body is starting to crave what I used to consider goo foods. I think I will be looking over other foods while in town today. I plan on stopping in and looking over the long term food store, the coop where I will investigate other good grain type foods for short term trials, and get to buying the short term (3 to 6 month) storage foods on my list, and then some. Between these foods and the butcher shop, I think I will find myself in good (truly) eats and on my way to a better short, medium, and long term eating habit and survival situation. Yeah, it seems easy, but look how long it took me to get here, get here here, set up enough to begin this, and finally today to activate the purchasing. I almost break into a sweat thinking about it. Do not look back.
Yep, beans and rice for lunch, with a touch of sour cream, a little salt, and I am ready to burn a little energy. Beside the appointment and purchases, I may stop in and check on my friend. If he is around and up to it, I may take him along. No shooting or cruising today though. Perhaps Thursday will be another shooting day? Yes, that would be good. Beside checking on him, I want to see if he has made progress seeing the doctor about fixing his nose. My mother has taken care of what I needed her to take care of, so on that front I am half done.
I do have some things to do and time is running short. So, into the saddle and away. Good luck on getting going, getting it done, and staying with it. Remember what you do not do today may haunt your sleep or at least still be there tomorrow. Good day.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
The end.
.
.
A slow day, little done, but a good, perhaps a great day.
I did little of my list. I did wash the dishes, which is vital for anything to go forward out that way in the near term, so it is good. I did not cook rice, eggs, or even meats! The beans are still with me in spite of at least one vacation (not the one you pay big bucks for... unless to a surgeon for some reason, ha!). I will change the kitty litter whole clothe though, and set up the second jar of wheat. I will eventually have to mark those so I can tell the difference between jar a and jar b, just in case. Then again, same processes. The sprouter will be self evident, so scratch that.
I have looked over a ton of material today. (he is lying) Well, fine. I did look over a few topics, including soy product hazards. I ended up finding out nothing more than I knew going into that search though. Then, I did not stretch too far. Reading? *yawn* At least today. I did some comparison shopping for computers. I could, indeed, build my own. A gaming rig, built by me, would in theory be spledicious and horribleous! And, quite possibly, would never work. As much hardware and software that needs to be installed just so, set up just right, and balanced and tweaked... I simply think the task has grown a bit too much. At least for a righteous rig. Of course, after looking online, I will probably go into at least two local builders, where I have much more control over the gig, and check their prices. If they are within 30% of online, using my parts list, they would get the hire. This machine, built by local contract and my chosen parts, is relatively competitive and quite functional nearly a decade later. The big name onlines only last about 5 years (and then often die slow miserable deaths, leading me to believe in absolute planned obsolescence).
I see Vox is on Game again. No, no, that's fine. I am not sure I completely buy into Game, or his take on it, but I do think there is something to it. I suppose I simply do not see the need or want. Whether a woman is a so-called 10 or a 7 or a 3, they are not a part of the equation. The natural instinct is to find a mate, short or long term, and "use" what is on hand. Women usually do not need to be tricked, or even coaxed. If one wishes to be abusive of the system, that is simple, though it does not work in limited populations or where contact would be frequent between "participants". A scorned woman really can be a nasty piece of work. But further, the whole talk of it lowers both the joy of the process (for me), and the value of it.
As I slowly get off my butt more and more, finding a woman is becoming important. The war of the sexes has been waged since Adam woke up sore, with a nagging voice in his ear. The war can only be won when a woman defeats a man through utter surrender. In these times, neither party acts their part, and it has become a free-for-all. Thus Game has become a means of defeating the "enemy" without the need for surrender. It abuses women's natural tendencies. To be fair, though, with courts and social pressure being so anti-man as to be discriminatory (thankfully we really are powerful, but that fight will get ugly anyway), men have to fight back. Is it the right way? Is it the only way? Lots of questions and a queasy feeling that science, and the use of it in some areas, is leading us very much astray.
This war, however, like all wars, will come to a close. There is only one way that war will end, if too by the time that happens, this nation may be too weak to stand. Some say that has already happened. While the sexes have been warring, the politicians and corporatists have been fleecing us. Some say that was the plan, others that it was merely those types capitalizing on the situation. And that is only one of many wars being waged on the social, economic, and political landscape. I do see an end to it. But too, I see the casualties and other costs. It is the second Civil War, babies dying by the millions, 10's of millions, as a result.
Anyway. Tomorrow will be a busy day, if I do not plan on a heavy day. Faxes sent, papers filed for tax rebate, an appointment, the bed, what of the list I had earlier done, and maybe the lawnmower set up for use Tuesday. I know I have been pushing hard, if it does not always look like it. For my standards, I have been doing too much probably. I know it has to be done. I know time is sometimes limited. And yet, I am running out of air, coming up lame, limping from place to place. We will see what else I can accomplish, but I might end up needing to take a bit of a break, give myself some time to explore my new home town, and get some simple physical exercise in like walking and swimming.
Good night, Leslie. Third grade was nicer with you in it.
.
A slow day, little done, but a good, perhaps a great day.
I did little of my list. I did wash the dishes, which is vital for anything to go forward out that way in the near term, so it is good. I did not cook rice, eggs, or even meats! The beans are still with me in spite of at least one vacation (not the one you pay big bucks for... unless to a surgeon for some reason, ha!). I will change the kitty litter whole clothe though, and set up the second jar of wheat. I will eventually have to mark those so I can tell the difference between jar a and jar b, just in case. Then again, same processes. The sprouter will be self evident, so scratch that.
I have looked over a ton of material today. (he is lying) Well, fine. I did look over a few topics, including soy product hazards. I ended up finding out nothing more than I knew going into that search though. Then, I did not stretch too far. Reading? *yawn* At least today. I did some comparison shopping for computers. I could, indeed, build my own. A gaming rig, built by me, would in theory be spledicious and horribleous! And, quite possibly, would never work. As much hardware and software that needs to be installed just so, set up just right, and balanced and tweaked... I simply think the task has grown a bit too much. At least for a righteous rig. Of course, after looking online, I will probably go into at least two local builders, where I have much more control over the gig, and check their prices. If they are within 30% of online, using my parts list, they would get the hire. This machine, built by local contract and my chosen parts, is relatively competitive and quite functional nearly a decade later. The big name onlines only last about 5 years (and then often die slow miserable deaths, leading me to believe in absolute planned obsolescence).
I see Vox is on Game again. No, no, that's fine. I am not sure I completely buy into Game, or his take on it, but I do think there is something to it. I suppose I simply do not see the need or want. Whether a woman is a so-called 10 or a 7 or a 3, they are not a part of the equation. The natural instinct is to find a mate, short or long term, and "use" what is on hand. Women usually do not need to be tricked, or even coaxed. If one wishes to be abusive of the system, that is simple, though it does not work in limited populations or where contact would be frequent between "participants". A scorned woman really can be a nasty piece of work. But further, the whole talk of it lowers both the joy of the process (for me), and the value of it.
As I slowly get off my butt more and more, finding a woman is becoming important. The war of the sexes has been waged since Adam woke up sore, with a nagging voice in his ear. The war can only be won when a woman defeats a man through utter surrender. In these times, neither party acts their part, and it has become a free-for-all. Thus Game has become a means of defeating the "enemy" without the need for surrender. It abuses women's natural tendencies. To be fair, though, with courts and social pressure being so anti-man as to be discriminatory (thankfully we really are powerful, but that fight will get ugly anyway), men have to fight back. Is it the right way? Is it the only way? Lots of questions and a queasy feeling that science, and the use of it in some areas, is leading us very much astray.
This war, however, like all wars, will come to a close. There is only one way that war will end, if too by the time that happens, this nation may be too weak to stand. Some say that has already happened. While the sexes have been warring, the politicians and corporatists have been fleecing us. Some say that was the plan, others that it was merely those types capitalizing on the situation. And that is only one of many wars being waged on the social, economic, and political landscape. I do see an end to it. But too, I see the casualties and other costs. It is the second Civil War, babies dying by the millions, 10's of millions, as a result.
Anyway. Tomorrow will be a busy day, if I do not plan on a heavy day. Faxes sent, papers filed for tax rebate, an appointment, the bed, what of the list I had earlier done, and maybe the lawnmower set up for use Tuesday. I know I have been pushing hard, if it does not always look like it. For my standards, I have been doing too much probably. I know it has to be done. I know time is sometimes limited. And yet, I am running out of air, coming up lame, limping from place to place. We will see what else I can accomplish, but I might end up needing to take a bit of a break, give myself some time to explore my new home town, and get some simple physical exercise in like walking and swimming.
Good night, Leslie. Third grade was nicer with you in it.
For a slow day...
.
.
Well, it is pretty slow. I did get out and pick up sticks. I picked up many sticks, branches, and a log or two. I did not pick up every twig and I am simply hoping I got the big ones, or the ones big enough to be a problem. A sickle might work here, though maybe not. It just is not quite high enough nor will it likely get that high. At least the official lawn. The wilds which cover the small bit of my land leading into the next lot, which is vacant and overrun, is another matter. Sam went along, protecting me from mice and deciding I might be tasty or at least worth a go once in a while. I raked up several large areas of twigs, pine needles, and... other stuff, up to 3 to 5 wheelbarrow loads. I am not even sure what to do with this, though I know a wheelbarrow is the next item on my immediate shopping list. I have at least two other demands for a wheelbarrow.
A big bowl of bean soup for late lunch, along with three slices of the bread I bought yesterday. However, I do believe I ate too much. That is something I will be digging into, foodwise, as I begin exploring these new and wonderful foods. Volume, that is. How much should I really be eating is an annoying topic. What it says on the sides of cans or at the food pyramid sites is ludicrous, even dangerous, to me and to many others. It is based on a 54 year old post-menopausal woman's "ideal" diet. First of all, it is for a woman. Secondly, it is for an older women. Thirdly, it is for a time in her life when she is even less physical than ever before, and less capable of the physical beyond it. Fourth, what the hell is an ideal diet, and to whom is it truly ideal... Ideal? No, I will have to experiment and get a feel for the right amounts.
It is not that I feel bloated, it is that I am tired. Come on, we are talking about beans, bread, butter, and milk. A large bowl, to be sure, but with more juice than beans. Sure, three (albeit thin) slices of sourdough bread, and one honking glass of milk, and then another half a glass. I hate petite (standard) glasses, and have found real glasses that fit my size, fist, and strength. Then again, there is the notion that until my body believes food will be offered regularly, it may simply not use it, storing whatever I put in. That, I have heard, along with potentially overeating, will cause drowsiness after consumption of even moderate volumes.
Little else is happening today. The meal beat me up and before that I seemed to be dragging butt. Still, I would like to dig into the dishes, store a few things, clear the empty boxes from the kitchen and elsewhere, and set up the bed. There is no guarantee I will do more than sit here making funny faces, jokes, and gigging about the results of the bean soup late lunch. Yeah, but... that is not all bad. Hmm, better still... a bath! Bubble bath! It would make me perky for the first time in... a while. Or more, percolatory? Never... mind...
Time to let Sambot in, give her some razzing, check her for tics, and maybe do some of that list. Oh... right. With the printer, copier, and fax (I think) going, I might be able to get some paperwork faxed out, after writing a letter (almost done with that, actually, just need the policy number and a few factoids for their bean counters), and pull down, print, fill in, and prepare to register for the tax rebate on the purchase of the home. So much to do, so difficult to keep it all on track, so much gas...
Later.
.
Well, it is pretty slow. I did get out and pick up sticks. I picked up many sticks, branches, and a log or two. I did not pick up every twig and I am simply hoping I got the big ones, or the ones big enough to be a problem. A sickle might work here, though maybe not. It just is not quite high enough nor will it likely get that high. At least the official lawn. The wilds which cover the small bit of my land leading into the next lot, which is vacant and overrun, is another matter. Sam went along, protecting me from mice and deciding I might be tasty or at least worth a go once in a while. I raked up several large areas of twigs, pine needles, and... other stuff, up to 3 to 5 wheelbarrow loads. I am not even sure what to do with this, though I know a wheelbarrow is the next item on my immediate shopping list. I have at least two other demands for a wheelbarrow.
A big bowl of bean soup for late lunch, along with three slices of the bread I bought yesterday. However, I do believe I ate too much. That is something I will be digging into, foodwise, as I begin exploring these new and wonderful foods. Volume, that is. How much should I really be eating is an annoying topic. What it says on the sides of cans or at the food pyramid sites is ludicrous, even dangerous, to me and to many others. It is based on a 54 year old post-menopausal woman's "ideal" diet. First of all, it is for a woman. Secondly, it is for an older women. Thirdly, it is for a time in her life when she is even less physical than ever before, and less capable of the physical beyond it. Fourth, what the hell is an ideal diet, and to whom is it truly ideal... Ideal? No, I will have to experiment and get a feel for the right amounts.
It is not that I feel bloated, it is that I am tired. Come on, we are talking about beans, bread, butter, and milk. A large bowl, to be sure, but with more juice than beans. Sure, three (albeit thin) slices of sourdough bread, and one honking glass of milk, and then another half a glass. I hate petite (standard) glasses, and have found real glasses that fit my size, fist, and strength. Then again, there is the notion that until my body believes food will be offered regularly, it may simply not use it, storing whatever I put in. That, I have heard, along with potentially overeating, will cause drowsiness after consumption of even moderate volumes.
Little else is happening today. The meal beat me up and before that I seemed to be dragging butt. Still, I would like to dig into the dishes, store a few things, clear the empty boxes from the kitchen and elsewhere, and set up the bed. There is no guarantee I will do more than sit here making funny faces, jokes, and gigging about the results of the bean soup late lunch. Yeah, but... that is not all bad. Hmm, better still... a bath! Bubble bath! It would make me perky for the first time in... a while. Or more, percolatory? Never... mind...
Time to let Sambot in, give her some razzing, check her for tics, and maybe do some of that list. Oh... right. With the printer, copier, and fax (I think) going, I might be able to get some paperwork faxed out, after writing a letter (almost done with that, actually, just need the policy number and a few factoids for their bean counters), and pull down, print, fill in, and prepare to register for the tax rebate on the purchase of the home. So much to do, so difficult to keep it all on track, so much gas...
Later.
A question.
.
.
Why does everything have to be so complicated?
I have watered the plants today. One of the bell pepper plants is producing peppers already. It is the only plant of the lot I have any real hopes regarding. Two of the tomato plants are developing blossoms. The rest of the plants, though looking well watered and happy, are like the smiley kids in the back of the class who will end up digging ditches. No, there is no complication here. I will figure these things out over time and that is all good. Though next year I will probably plant my own seedlings indoors and earlier (or try), and use heirloom seeds at that in the hopes of collecting seeds for the following year.
The next task for the day, I decided to review the short term survival food list for my next visit to town, or at least my next shopping day. Being flusher than only having $10 over my limits a week, I decided to consider buying a months supply at once, perhaps more. With enough of a supply, I would also begin using that food as part of my diet sooner rather than after stocking up. I am reviewing as I write this. Herein lies the conundrum. Everything was looking good. Everything on the list, save one thing and initially I thought even it, was going to work well. I printed the file linked from D.C., then from it created a shopping list. The one thing I decided to buy online rather than at the store, after a price check anyway, is powdered milk, whole powdered milk.
I wanted to see what was in the powdered milk I had, through advisement from soandwhositz, decided to go with. It is called Nido and is made by Nestle. I purchased a can of it not so far back to sample it, and it is good (at least good enough but with even a nod beyond that, if it is not fresh either... as good a compliment as that type of product COULD get from me). While looking, I saw the ingredient 'soy lecithin' listed as the second ingredient, meaning the second most common element in the product. Something clicked. Soy... estrogen, phyto estrogen, sex issues, and such. So, I decided to review this ingredient. There is a big hubbub about soy products, for many reasons to include that most of the world is using unfermented soy, gmo soybeans (not an issue on my part), the amount of it sneaking into our diet, and the nutritional hazards it poses.
The Japanese, it is said, eat this stuff and do quite well. The truth is, I doubt the health of the Japanese people without knowing more, they eat far less of it than what we are often eating (in a typical diet, in large part due to our processed food consumption which is often protein bulked with soy byproducts), that the estrogen and vitamin blocking aspect of soy is problematic in large doses and at any dose level for babies (some nations are attempting to ban it from formula), the fact that unfermented (and to a degree any) soy products block receptors for vitamins we absolutely need (calcium and a host of others), the possibility that the estrogen in our foods is having profound effects on the emasculation of our boys (and men?) and infertility (if earlier pubation) and other reproductive issues with our girls, and other possible childhood problems (such as learning disabilities). Beyond that, even if I do not eat soy on a regular basis knowingly, just because it is used to feed livestock (BEEF! Pork! Chicken! Turkey!) I may be eating a LOT more than what I suspect.
In truth, if this is the one processed food I consume with soy, the problem probably does not exist. A glass or two a day of milk, with some product used in cooking or baking from time to time, and considering that even as the second leading ingredient, it is probably quite small in fact in overall percentage of bulk (I tried to find the exact amount to no avail), and the whole thing is probably moot.
However, without knowing how much soy is fed to cattle, how much of the estrogenony stuff is passed to both meat and milk, or even with chicken meat and eggs, or even how much is really in the dry milk product, I cannot assess the threat or possibilities of impaired nutritional value these foods offer and present to the rest of my diet. Yes, complicated. I doubt if I have the equipment, knowledge, or anything else to take on this problem. And I do not see dietitians or the medical field pulling up their sleeves and getting to work.
What a bother. No wonder national health is going the way of the financial markets. Fads, myths, and uncertainty rain on a people who grow more and more cynical and end up burying our heads in the sand because there is simply too much good and bad information, a lack of oversight or genuine consensus, too much government and industrial sway with researchers, too much activism beyond that, and we are left to fend for ourselves in a very complicated world. Are we really sure all that education is needed if this is the result? Uhrm, ignoring for the moment the 'quality' of that education, more so at the price.
Just saying...
.
Why does everything have to be so complicated?
I have watered the plants today. One of the bell pepper plants is producing peppers already. It is the only plant of the lot I have any real hopes regarding. Two of the tomato plants are developing blossoms. The rest of the plants, though looking well watered and happy, are like the smiley kids in the back of the class who will end up digging ditches. No, there is no complication here. I will figure these things out over time and that is all good. Though next year I will probably plant my own seedlings indoors and earlier (or try), and use heirloom seeds at that in the hopes of collecting seeds for the following year.
The next task for the day, I decided to review the short term survival food list for my next visit to town, or at least my next shopping day. Being flusher than only having $10 over my limits a week, I decided to consider buying a months supply at once, perhaps more. With enough of a supply, I would also begin using that food as part of my diet sooner rather than after stocking up. I am reviewing as I write this. Herein lies the conundrum. Everything was looking good. Everything on the list, save one thing and initially I thought even it, was going to work well. I printed the file linked from D.C., then from it created a shopping list. The one thing I decided to buy online rather than at the store, after a price check anyway, is powdered milk, whole powdered milk.
I wanted to see what was in the powdered milk I had, through advisement from soandwhositz, decided to go with. It is called Nido and is made by Nestle. I purchased a can of it not so far back to sample it, and it is good (at least good enough but with even a nod beyond that, if it is not fresh either... as good a compliment as that type of product COULD get from me). While looking, I saw the ingredient 'soy lecithin' listed as the second ingredient, meaning the second most common element in the product. Something clicked. Soy... estrogen, phyto estrogen, sex issues, and such. So, I decided to review this ingredient. There is a big hubbub about soy products, for many reasons to include that most of the world is using unfermented soy, gmo soybeans (not an issue on my part), the amount of it sneaking into our diet, and the nutritional hazards it poses.
The Japanese, it is said, eat this stuff and do quite well. The truth is, I doubt the health of the Japanese people without knowing more, they eat far less of it than what we are often eating (in a typical diet, in large part due to our processed food consumption which is often protein bulked with soy byproducts), that the estrogen and vitamin blocking aspect of soy is problematic in large doses and at any dose level for babies (some nations are attempting to ban it from formula), the fact that unfermented (and to a degree any) soy products block receptors for vitamins we absolutely need (calcium and a host of others), the possibility that the estrogen in our foods is having profound effects on the emasculation of our boys (and men?) and infertility (if earlier pubation) and other reproductive issues with our girls, and other possible childhood problems (such as learning disabilities). Beyond that, even if I do not eat soy on a regular basis knowingly, just because it is used to feed livestock (BEEF! Pork! Chicken! Turkey!) I may be eating a LOT more than what I suspect.
In truth, if this is the one processed food I consume with soy, the problem probably does not exist. A glass or two a day of milk, with some product used in cooking or baking from time to time, and considering that even as the second leading ingredient, it is probably quite small in fact in overall percentage of bulk (I tried to find the exact amount to no avail), and the whole thing is probably moot.
However, without knowing how much soy is fed to cattle, how much of the estrogenony stuff is passed to both meat and milk, or even with chicken meat and eggs, or even how much is really in the dry milk product, I cannot assess the threat or possibilities of impaired nutritional value these foods offer and present to the rest of my diet. Yes, complicated. I doubt if I have the equipment, knowledge, or anything else to take on this problem. And I do not see dietitians or the medical field pulling up their sleeves and getting to work.
What a bother. No wonder national health is going the way of the financial markets. Fads, myths, and uncertainty rain on a people who grow more and more cynical and end up burying our heads in the sand because there is simply too much good and bad information, a lack of oversight or genuine consensus, too much government and industrial sway with researchers, too much activism beyond that, and we are left to fend for ourselves in a very complicated world. Are we really sure all that education is needed if this is the result? Uhrm, ignoring for the moment the 'quality' of that education, more so at the price.
Just saying...
A early rise.
.
.
Not. Try 11:00, perhaps a little after. Yesterday was, as it turns out, an 18 hour day with a heavier work project to start off that day and little things all through out the time. An early rise was somewhere between a hope and a fantasy. To be honest, I did not want to get up at 11:00. It took some effort to start the engine and roll into gear. Well, into gear is more a matter of suggesting I am no longer on my bed than that I am rolling like thunder... or even a whisper.
I was hungry this morning, and so went about looking for something to eat. I rummaged through cupboards and the refrigerator, and then remember the wheat. The thermos was still warm. I drained the water (and saved it, for what I am not yet quite sure though I may simply drink it). I used the blender, not yet quite sure how fine it should be, I suspect I did a minimal blending. Into the bowl, sitting at the table, I added a bit of butter and very little salt. A mix and then a taste. Just a little more salt and I think I have it. It needs very little salt, surprisingly, for as much food as is there.
This is not a typical cereal. If one wants Wheaties, Life, Cherios, or such, one should buy that. Good? Yes, I think I can say that. Different? I think it is an easily acquired taste for some, but for me perhaps because of my other interests it was good from the start. It is not bland, even without salt and butter, actually. It is not blended cardboard. I will be eating this over a period of time and trying to identify what, exactly, to my senses, I am actually tasting. This morning was not a good morning to do that. I did eat the whole thing, without missing a drop, felt full, satisfied, and had no grumble at all about flavor or texture or such. I think, from me, concerning food, on this day, that is honestly as good as a new food could get in the way of praise.
I did miss starting another batch as was scheduled. That, I suppose, is why I thought there would be a day missing. Odd how logic and life sometimes conflict until the idea is put into practice. It, too, is why I am very suspicious of change, especially large changes all at once. I know one of several things will happen. The change will end up having no impact but high costs. The change will work, more or less efficiently, but only fully after success follows success and what was changed is accepted and instituted more and more broadly. The change will be either effective or ineffective, but it will not matter because the cost, complication, or 'social' acceptance will dissipate leaving no means for the change to be fulfilled. There are other possibilities, but the larger the change the more likely failure will occur. At which time, those who implemented the change will have a few options. A common one, for major failure, is the use of force to install the change, regardless of the results.
I suppose that last part comes from reading, today, how "progressives" believe Obama is a failure for not installing enough of what he said he would institutionalize. There is both great anger at him and the Democrats in office otherwise. After having outright eliminated some of the Constitution both procedurally and literally, creating a reverse discrimination based DOJ for the whole nation, installing one of the biggest most government controlled "health" bills even compared to many foreign socialist states, having nationalized everything from banks to automobile manufacturers, and a host of littler socialist agenda plugs, I am missing something. After seeing what this is doing to the economy, I have to stop and think, what would be a success to these people? The elimination of hundreds of millions of Americans, a destruction of cities, and the forced agrarian utopia of Cambodia's Khmer Rouge? Seriously, what more could the quota kid do?
Well, another day off today. I might pick up sticks. I might get the lawnmower unpacked, set up, and started. But no mowing, not today. Today is for rest. Perhaps a few things, such as getting my bed together, finding the parts to re-assemble some furniture, a bit of food prep, and if the meats are thawed a bit of cooking this evening. I might cook two other things today, though too. Rice and eggs. These will fill more fully my dietary changes along with the beans and wheat for lunches and breakfasts. Sardines will begin filling in a bit more too. But at night, meats. The next step is to begin figuring out how to fill vegetables more solidly into my diet. The shopping list linked at D.C.'s will help with that. And now that I have my printer functioning, I can finally now that I am thinking about it, get that printed and take it to the store the next time I go.
Have a good day.
.
Not. Try 11:00, perhaps a little after. Yesterday was, as it turns out, an 18 hour day with a heavier work project to start off that day and little things all through out the time. An early rise was somewhere between a hope and a fantasy. To be honest, I did not want to get up at 11:00. It took some effort to start the engine and roll into gear. Well, into gear is more a matter of suggesting I am no longer on my bed than that I am rolling like thunder... or even a whisper.
I was hungry this morning, and so went about looking for something to eat. I rummaged through cupboards and the refrigerator, and then remember the wheat. The thermos was still warm. I drained the water (and saved it, for what I am not yet quite sure though I may simply drink it). I used the blender, not yet quite sure how fine it should be, I suspect I did a minimal blending. Into the bowl, sitting at the table, I added a bit of butter and very little salt. A mix and then a taste. Just a little more salt and I think I have it. It needs very little salt, surprisingly, for as much food as is there.
This is not a typical cereal. If one wants Wheaties, Life, Cherios, or such, one should buy that. Good? Yes, I think I can say that. Different? I think it is an easily acquired taste for some, but for me perhaps because of my other interests it was good from the start. It is not bland, even without salt and butter, actually. It is not blended cardboard. I will be eating this over a period of time and trying to identify what, exactly, to my senses, I am actually tasting. This morning was not a good morning to do that. I did eat the whole thing, without missing a drop, felt full, satisfied, and had no grumble at all about flavor or texture or such. I think, from me, concerning food, on this day, that is honestly as good as a new food could get in the way of praise.
I did miss starting another batch as was scheduled. That, I suppose, is why I thought there would be a day missing. Odd how logic and life sometimes conflict until the idea is put into practice. It, too, is why I am very suspicious of change, especially large changes all at once. I know one of several things will happen. The change will end up having no impact but high costs. The change will work, more or less efficiently, but only fully after success follows success and what was changed is accepted and instituted more and more broadly. The change will be either effective or ineffective, but it will not matter because the cost, complication, or 'social' acceptance will dissipate leaving no means for the change to be fulfilled. There are other possibilities, but the larger the change the more likely failure will occur. At which time, those who implemented the change will have a few options. A common one, for major failure, is the use of force to install the change, regardless of the results.
I suppose that last part comes from reading, today, how "progressives" believe Obama is a failure for not installing enough of what he said he would institutionalize. There is both great anger at him and the Democrats in office otherwise. After having outright eliminated some of the Constitution both procedurally and literally, creating a reverse discrimination based DOJ for the whole nation, installing one of the biggest most government controlled "health" bills even compared to many foreign socialist states, having nationalized everything from banks to automobile manufacturers, and a host of littler socialist agenda plugs, I am missing something. After seeing what this is doing to the economy, I have to stop and think, what would be a success to these people? The elimination of hundreds of millions of Americans, a destruction of cities, and the forced agrarian utopia of Cambodia's Khmer Rouge? Seriously, what more could the quota kid do?
Well, another day off today. I might pick up sticks. I might get the lawnmower unpacked, set up, and started. But no mowing, not today. Today is for rest. Perhaps a few things, such as getting my bed together, finding the parts to re-assemble some furniture, a bit of food prep, and if the meats are thawed a bit of cooking this evening. I might cook two other things today, though too. Rice and eggs. These will fill more fully my dietary changes along with the beans and wheat for lunches and breakfasts. Sardines will begin filling in a bit more too. But at night, meats. The next step is to begin figuring out how to fill vegetables more solidly into my diet. The shopping list linked at D.C.'s will help with that. And now that I have my printer functioning, I can finally now that I am thinking about it, get that printed and take it to the store the next time I go.
Have a good day.
Well, just thought I would do a final checkout.
.
.
Wow. Taking the skins off garbanzo beans is like, I dunno, peeling frog eyes... all of them. On the good side, it was really slimy, sort of gooey, and made me more interested in marriage. Uhrm, if I can find a woman who will put down her cellphone long enough to have some children and cook. I do not even care if she is jabbering during the hokey pokey. Even to someone else. Mostly. Tired and jabbering, hush.
I finished pretty much everything I had hoped to do tonight. I even have the blender cleaned (roughly, but enough) to go for wheat cereal tomorrow. The hummus was not so great. However, I was eating it warm, at night, after just messing with more stuff than I really should have been doing so late. I have stored it in an airtight container in the refrigerator and will try some tomorrow. I know, already, some things I did incorrectly. I also know some things I changed from the recipe that are to my tastes. Cayenne pepper might perk it up, so I will dabble with food chemistry a bit more tomorrow. I simply have nothing left to put into anything but a pillow fight I cannot win yet tonight. Oh, and I am going to lose in a serious way.
Still, I have my alarm set for 7:00 or 8:00 tomorrow morning, and I will do my best to rise. There is always the chance I could magically find my good shoes, get them polished, shower, shave, and brush my various parts, to find myself at the Church door tomorrow. If I were a betting man, I would not lay your nickle on that race though. Still, stranger things have happened and strange things are happening in my life as is. It is on my mind, and that actually seems to mean something, if a bit weakly, now.
Hey all, good night.
.
Wow. Taking the skins off garbanzo beans is like, I dunno, peeling frog eyes... all of them. On the good side, it was really slimy, sort of gooey, and made me more interested in marriage. Uhrm, if I can find a woman who will put down her cellphone long enough to have some children and cook. I do not even care if she is jabbering during the hokey pokey. Even to someone else. Mostly. Tired and jabbering, hush.
I finished pretty much everything I had hoped to do tonight. I even have the blender cleaned (roughly, but enough) to go for wheat cereal tomorrow. The hummus was not so great. However, I was eating it warm, at night, after just messing with more stuff than I really should have been doing so late. I have stored it in an airtight container in the refrigerator and will try some tomorrow. I know, already, some things I did incorrectly. I also know some things I changed from the recipe that are to my tastes. Cayenne pepper might perk it up, so I will dabble with food chemistry a bit more tomorrow. I simply have nothing left to put into anything but a pillow fight I cannot win yet tonight. Oh, and I am going to lose in a serious way.
Still, I have my alarm set for 7:00 or 8:00 tomorrow morning, and I will do my best to rise. There is always the chance I could magically find my good shoes, get them polished, shower, shave, and brush my various parts, to find myself at the Church door tomorrow. If I were a betting man, I would not lay your nickle on that race though. Still, stranger things have happened and strange things are happening in my life as is. It is on my mind, and that actually seems to mean something, if a bit weakly, now.
Hey all, good night.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Garbanzo beans take how long to cook?
.
.
Three hours, or so the recipe says. If you start with raw, which I did. Why so long? So the hulls will come off. Only the tender part is desirable. Oh, fine, an hour more and I should... be ready for the next step. The good news is that the author, someone who is really into hummus, thinks canned garbanzo beans are fine. Still, I had the dry beans. I had thought it was a simple overnight soak and then a bit of cooking. I had no idea how complicated it was, I had not read that far into recipes. And, I will be able to compare cooked to canned beans. The home cooked beans would have to exhibit a whole lot of taste loving over the canned beans in order for me to do this. Unless it is a slow time, winter, and I am just looking for something more to life.
The regular beans are cooked. I tasted a bowl, with juice, and a bit of sour cream. They are done, and if poisonous, the poison is slow acting. If so... goody, I will get to die in my sleep! And, while thinking about how long the garbanzo beans would take, I decided to get the wheat boiled and stowed. The wheat is now finishing in the thermos. I did have to boil a tad more water, and then overfilled because I am a dork, but it is all good. I will get better in time and go onto bigger and better mistakes. :p
Dishes have been being kept up, though I think the last of the bean cookery will not be tended. The wheat pot is easy, nothing sticks there at all. The tomatoes and the rest were watered again, while checking on Sam. She enjoys the outdoors, especially right after she makes poppa mad by trying to approach while he is eating or jumping on the table. She was weird tonight, usually she knows better. It could not have been the beans that drew her? I thought it might be the milk, but poured some for her, as she went a bit schizo while I was carrying the jug to poor myself a glass of milk. Nope, beans! She seemed to meow. Weird, just weird.
Tomorrow I am hoping to get the bed together and solidly placed. I will look for the attachments, screws, bolts, nuts, and whatever else for the rest of the items to be re-assembled tomorrow. I simply ran out of time today.
I am not working every minute of every hour. I am not even working every hour. I will not even claim to be working half of the time. I would say a good quarter of my time, maybe a bit less, sees me at work. The rest of the time I am... doodling on the computer, interweb, reading some manual or map or something, or chilling somewhere else but on my butt as well. I know that is not much. Honestly, it is what I have to offer, more than I have been doing in... ages, and maybe even as good as it gets. I cannot even seem to do that much every day. Though on some days it does seem, recently, that I have worked (or been driving to, or from, or because of) work for most of the day. Then needing a day of much lower exertion. I do not know if those are irregularities yet or not. Oh fie, I am doing what I can, when I can, how I can. I do more on my light days, honestly, than what I did before. I would even say my weak days are more involved, physically if not quite mentally, than when I was going to school.
Chest pains come and go. They were coming a bit before, heavier, harder, more painful (if that is indeed pain I sense... but I think so). Now, it is a thump, a bit of reverberating throb for a few minutes to a half hour, and then it is gone. Instead of daily as it had been, it is more like weekly. It does not seem to be related to physical output, though stress might have something to do with it. I am not sure what, exactly, it is. But I know what a doctor would say, testing and back on meds. Testing, give or take, fine. Medicine... not going to happen. Wishing in one hand, shitting in the other, I already know which gets filled first and I will not be grabbing anymore. Still, the whistling in my ears is usually less, my urine is cleaner, I have a cat, and I am prepared to die should that be the case.
Too funny.
Hey kids, I think this will be my last post for the night. I do have a good hour more, since it will take me at least a half hour to prepare the garbanzo beans, mix the tahini with the lemon juice, first obtaining the lemon juice, crush the garlic cloves, then figure out the proportions of all that and the olive oil for the recipe, and then blend the goop to the right consistency. Oh, and then, of course, to taste it. If there is enough, I would like to have some plain, add cayenne to some, and maybe something else to another portion. If I had calamari olives, those would go good in a third batch. Anyway, I have... things... to do.
Good night, Charlie and Janey. A prayer for you two and your rugrat troopers.
.
Three hours, or so the recipe says. If you start with raw, which I did. Why so long? So the hulls will come off. Only the tender part is desirable. Oh, fine, an hour more and I should... be ready for the next step. The good news is that the author, someone who is really into hummus, thinks canned garbanzo beans are fine. Still, I had the dry beans. I had thought it was a simple overnight soak and then a bit of cooking. I had no idea how complicated it was, I had not read that far into recipes. And, I will be able to compare cooked to canned beans. The home cooked beans would have to exhibit a whole lot of taste loving over the canned beans in order for me to do this. Unless it is a slow time, winter, and I am just looking for something more to life.
The regular beans are cooked. I tasted a bowl, with juice, and a bit of sour cream. They are done, and if poisonous, the poison is slow acting. If so... goody, I will get to die in my sleep! And, while thinking about how long the garbanzo beans would take, I decided to get the wheat boiled and stowed. The wheat is now finishing in the thermos. I did have to boil a tad more water, and then overfilled because I am a dork, but it is all good. I will get better in time and go onto bigger and better mistakes. :p
Dishes have been being kept up, though I think the last of the bean cookery will not be tended. The wheat pot is easy, nothing sticks there at all. The tomatoes and the rest were watered again, while checking on Sam. She enjoys the outdoors, especially right after she makes poppa mad by trying to approach while he is eating or jumping on the table. She was weird tonight, usually she knows better. It could not have been the beans that drew her? I thought it might be the milk, but poured some for her, as she went a bit schizo while I was carrying the jug to poor myself a glass of milk. Nope, beans! She seemed to meow. Weird, just weird.
Tomorrow I am hoping to get the bed together and solidly placed. I will look for the attachments, screws, bolts, nuts, and whatever else for the rest of the items to be re-assembled tomorrow. I simply ran out of time today.
I am not working every minute of every hour. I am not even working every hour. I will not even claim to be working half of the time. I would say a good quarter of my time, maybe a bit less, sees me at work. The rest of the time I am... doodling on the computer, interweb, reading some manual or map or something, or chilling somewhere else but on my butt as well. I know that is not much. Honestly, it is what I have to offer, more than I have been doing in... ages, and maybe even as good as it gets. I cannot even seem to do that much every day. Though on some days it does seem, recently, that I have worked (or been driving to, or from, or because of) work for most of the day. Then needing a day of much lower exertion. I do not know if those are irregularities yet or not. Oh fie, I am doing what I can, when I can, how I can. I do more on my light days, honestly, than what I did before. I would even say my weak days are more involved, physically if not quite mentally, than when I was going to school.
Chest pains come and go. They were coming a bit before, heavier, harder, more painful (if that is indeed pain I sense... but I think so). Now, it is a thump, a bit of reverberating throb for a few minutes to a half hour, and then it is gone. Instead of daily as it had been, it is more like weekly. It does not seem to be related to physical output, though stress might have something to do with it. I am not sure what, exactly, it is. But I know what a doctor would say, testing and back on meds. Testing, give or take, fine. Medicine... not going to happen. Wishing in one hand, shitting in the other, I already know which gets filled first and I will not be grabbing anymore. Still, the whistling in my ears is usually less, my urine is cleaner, I have a cat, and I am prepared to die should that be the case.
Too funny.
Hey kids, I think this will be my last post for the night. I do have a good hour more, since it will take me at least a half hour to prepare the garbanzo beans, mix the tahini with the lemon juice, first obtaining the lemon juice, crush the garlic cloves, then figure out the proportions of all that and the olive oil for the recipe, and then blend the goop to the right consistency. Oh, and then, of course, to taste it. If there is enough, I would like to have some plain, add cayenne to some, and maybe something else to another portion. If I had calamari olives, those would go good in a third batch. Anyway, I have... things... to do.
Good night, Charlie and Janey. A prayer for you two and your rugrat troopers.
Stamp of approval.
.
.
Today has been a long one, again. Much was done, and much will yet be done. It is hot, and working only adds to the sensation. Still, I seem to be able to chug along at whatever pace required. Even with a short rain burst and clouds giving partial to total coverage for an hour, the weather has not seemed to affect the temperature at all. Such is life in a desert I am learning. No air conditioning, with temps in the 90's, and still working? Really, this does not sound like me at all, and yet there it is.
While the men who helped me move were here today, while we were unloading and then afterward even more while sipping soda, we discussed the house. I know several people who have been here do not consider it much of a house. The kitchen, to be sure, needs updated. The extra bathroom, the one big enough for a tub and shower combo, the one with plenty of room, is rather nicely done. The upstairs is fantastic, really. And the front rooms have been very nicely modernized. But the rest of the house is dated. All but two of the downstairs windows need replaced. The back door and screen door need to be replaced. There is work everywhere. And, in some eyes, I have seen disappointment in my place and choice.
That is fine. This is not their place. This is not their call. What they can offer for a place is well beyond my means, not of interest to me in one case, or simply not my style in yet another. As well, the land means a great deal to me and nothing to most of them. But today, in the discussion, the elder man reviewed some things, asked some questions, and I told him about a few things. Nice place you have here, was his final assessment. I think from him, and the way he said it, that is about as good as it gets. I even took more from it, in that some of my plans met with his approval (regarding livestock, gardening, and such). Not a sourpuss, really, so much as a pragmatist who is not easily impressed. He even showed me something I had missed, a wild rose bush hidden by another bush (which he recommended cutting well back to allow the rose to grow). And, looking at him, I realized he is more on target than the others, even the other man with him. Most people want a bought, immaculate, move in-do nothing home. They want the lawn and garden watered, on a timer, automatic. Mowing, if they must, is to be minimized. They have no other use for the place except as a means of social or economic gain and a place to lay there heads. This I do not mind, but there assessments are also less valuable to me. So, today, I received the only type of approval I would want. And, yes, need to a degree. Perhaps I am being too judgmental myself, but that is how I see things.
What this home offers, if I will work toward it, is self-sufficiency, security, some comfort, and a quieter way of living. I do not believe in organic, if I may end up using heritage seed. I do not believe in what goes for "environmentalism", especially of the activist varietal of the disease, but I will do my utmost to cut my costs and perhaps figure out how to live off the grid. And I worry nothing about much of what the world yammers on about on a thousand topics. I will do fine here, assuming I survive my health issues, better than almost anywhere else in the world, I should think. Even my health issues will be dealt with better by living, should I become functional even in a more minor way, here than by taking medicine. So, having a stamp of approval from a man who has worked his whole life, starting with less or nothing, working with what he has and could make, and making a living for himself and his family, yeah, that was good.
Is it self-serving to accept one compliment against a host of disappointments? No, it is weighting the reasons for the various reactions. If he had merely said that because it was expected, it would mean nothing. If he had said the opposite, because it is not like his place or a McMansion, it would have had no impact. This was purely weighted on meaning, much of which I gained from his questions and interest in certain parts of the discussion. Let us say Vox and D.C. visited, can you guess which one's opinion would matter the most to me? Not a slight to either, but their approaches, means, and ways within those means are very much different.
Well, beans of many sorts need to be attended. The wheat can be done right before bed, though I have room if it needs to be fit in. A loaf of bread, sourdough, was purchased, and I am hungry again. I suppose I should get to it. With the table set up, the chairs around it, and room to access the lot, I might end up having a simple but pleasant dinner tonight. Yes, time to get back to the work at hand. A stamp of approval means nothing if the product is not utilized. I cannot utilize it on my butt, mostly.
Oh, I did finalize the storage shed, so that is done. I did make it to the store and bought the goods I needed, and some bread as I mentioned. I picked my friend up and took him along for a ride. I stopped at the place I mentioned, though my friend was not hungry. He was thirsty though, so a few beers (and a side of chicken wings as they are not allowed to sell beer without food, they are a restaurant and that is the law here). Yep, got a lot done, if I did not make it to Church but it will happen (or even find my shoes! Where are those! I used to lose shoes as a child, all the time, literally, but not for years! Mommy! Hmmm, she will be here in a few weeks, maybe she can find them for me?) Bah!
Later.
.
Today has been a long one, again. Much was done, and much will yet be done. It is hot, and working only adds to the sensation. Still, I seem to be able to chug along at whatever pace required. Even with a short rain burst and clouds giving partial to total coverage for an hour, the weather has not seemed to affect the temperature at all. Such is life in a desert I am learning. No air conditioning, with temps in the 90's, and still working? Really, this does not sound like me at all, and yet there it is.
While the men who helped me move were here today, while we were unloading and then afterward even more while sipping soda, we discussed the house. I know several people who have been here do not consider it much of a house. The kitchen, to be sure, needs updated. The extra bathroom, the one big enough for a tub and shower combo, the one with plenty of room, is rather nicely done. The upstairs is fantastic, really. And the front rooms have been very nicely modernized. But the rest of the house is dated. All but two of the downstairs windows need replaced. The back door and screen door need to be replaced. There is work everywhere. And, in some eyes, I have seen disappointment in my place and choice.
That is fine. This is not their place. This is not their call. What they can offer for a place is well beyond my means, not of interest to me in one case, or simply not my style in yet another. As well, the land means a great deal to me and nothing to most of them. But today, in the discussion, the elder man reviewed some things, asked some questions, and I told him about a few things. Nice place you have here, was his final assessment. I think from him, and the way he said it, that is about as good as it gets. I even took more from it, in that some of my plans met with his approval (regarding livestock, gardening, and such). Not a sourpuss, really, so much as a pragmatist who is not easily impressed. He even showed me something I had missed, a wild rose bush hidden by another bush (which he recommended cutting well back to allow the rose to grow). And, looking at him, I realized he is more on target than the others, even the other man with him. Most people want a bought, immaculate, move in-do nothing home. They want the lawn and garden watered, on a timer, automatic. Mowing, if they must, is to be minimized. They have no other use for the place except as a means of social or economic gain and a place to lay there heads. This I do not mind, but there assessments are also less valuable to me. So, today, I received the only type of approval I would want. And, yes, need to a degree. Perhaps I am being too judgmental myself, but that is how I see things.
What this home offers, if I will work toward it, is self-sufficiency, security, some comfort, and a quieter way of living. I do not believe in organic, if I may end up using heritage seed. I do not believe in what goes for "environmentalism", especially of the activist varietal of the disease, but I will do my utmost to cut my costs and perhaps figure out how to live off the grid. And I worry nothing about much of what the world yammers on about on a thousand topics. I will do fine here, assuming I survive my health issues, better than almost anywhere else in the world, I should think. Even my health issues will be dealt with better by living, should I become functional even in a more minor way, here than by taking medicine. So, having a stamp of approval from a man who has worked his whole life, starting with less or nothing, working with what he has and could make, and making a living for himself and his family, yeah, that was good.
Is it self-serving to accept one compliment against a host of disappointments? No, it is weighting the reasons for the various reactions. If he had merely said that because it was expected, it would mean nothing. If he had said the opposite, because it is not like his place or a McMansion, it would have had no impact. This was purely weighted on meaning, much of which I gained from his questions and interest in certain parts of the discussion. Let us say Vox and D.C. visited, can you guess which one's opinion would matter the most to me? Not a slight to either, but their approaches, means, and ways within those means are very much different.
Well, beans of many sorts need to be attended. The wheat can be done right before bed, though I have room if it needs to be fit in. A loaf of bread, sourdough, was purchased, and I am hungry again. I suppose I should get to it. With the table set up, the chairs around it, and room to access the lot, I might end up having a simple but pleasant dinner tonight. Yes, time to get back to the work at hand. A stamp of approval means nothing if the product is not utilized. I cannot utilize it on my butt, mostly.
Oh, I did finalize the storage shed, so that is done. I did make it to the store and bought the goods I needed, and some bread as I mentioned. I picked my friend up and took him along for a ride. I stopped at the place I mentioned, though my friend was not hungry. He was thirsty though, so a few beers (and a side of chicken wings as they are not allowed to sell beer without food, they are a restaurant and that is the law here). Yep, got a lot done, if I did not make it to Church but it will happen (or even find my shoes! Where are those! I used to lose shoes as a child, all the time, literally, but not for years! Mommy! Hmmm, she will be here in a few weeks, maybe she can find them for me?) Bah!
Later.
A nap? No.
.
.
There is simply too much to do just to do what I have to do even yet today. I cannot seem to get rolling any further than out of bed though. I had stripped and crawled in, thinking a nap would do. I set the alarm as well. After cooling down though, my mind started counting the things that have to be done.
The wheat is sprouting, and it is time, or will be tonight, to finish that process and start another batch. Did I miss a night in there? Until I get this down, some steps may be missed. As well, the garbanzo beans are soaked, and will be needing attention. I lack fresh garlic and fresh lemons, which I am going to try and obtain sometime today. And the standard beans, a mix, has soaked overnight and will need to be cooked this evening. None of those tasks, as it ends up, will be a major concern. All of them together, at once, is not a concern. What is a concern is that some of what was brought from storage will complicate the process where it sits currently. So, to even begin doing what I need to do, I will have to... I am not sure exactly, though it has to do with moving boxes, deciding things like where the cat food should now go, seeing if the table will fit in the dining niche along with the chairs, then reconfiguring the boxes so as to have some usable space back in the kitchen. No job, when dealing with a home, is quite digital. Idea meets fact, fact goes back to idea level if it fails or proceeds, considerations arise which either let the process continue or sends it back to the idea stage, and so on, until either the job is done, all available energy is spent, or time runs out on the work period.
There are other things I really would like to do, as much because they are one shot jobs (such as setting the bed up properly) as because the items which will be used to do those jobs are currently underfoot, more so in an already overcrowded with boxes and furniture home further conflated by the new arrivals. There are far too many of those jobs to do them all right now, the bed, 3 bookshelves, a couple of end tables, and whatnot else, plus then figuring out where to put them, to try the whole set of tasks at once. Of course, with the things which need rebuilt, finding the fasteners first seems to be as much of an issue as anything else. These jobs, all little, but when connected with what needs to go on before them, then the jobs themselves, and what to do after, make the simple into minor to major headaches. Hopefully, with the bed together tonight and the kitchen re-ordered, these things become more possible tomorrow and throughout the week. If I remember to look for the connectors, bolts, nuts, and whatever else tonight, that will be a great start.
Still, a shower, a run into the store, perhaps a check up on my friend, ending my storage account, and maybe a lunch. Perhaps maybe a mix of some of those things, if my friend wants to go around town a bit to get out of his apartment. But, only after I get the kitchen done I think. A little work here, a restful drive, some chow, a little social, and then back in time to begin working on the food. Yes, that is how I am seeing things.
I just could not rest. Cooling down and chilling for a half hour was quite good though. Now to get back to it. At least nothing will be as hard as this morning was, as reasonable as even that turned out to be. Wow, life really is beginning to pop a bit. I think I am actually getting a bit excited about the prospect of getting my home in order and beginning to then get popping on the outside, yard, and maybe checking some other areas for repairs, updates, upgrades, or other types of care. (Keep saying that...)
Later.
.
There is simply too much to do just to do what I have to do even yet today. I cannot seem to get rolling any further than out of bed though. I had stripped and crawled in, thinking a nap would do. I set the alarm as well. After cooling down though, my mind started counting the things that have to be done.
The wheat is sprouting, and it is time, or will be tonight, to finish that process and start another batch. Did I miss a night in there? Until I get this down, some steps may be missed. As well, the garbanzo beans are soaked, and will be needing attention. I lack fresh garlic and fresh lemons, which I am going to try and obtain sometime today. And the standard beans, a mix, has soaked overnight and will need to be cooked this evening. None of those tasks, as it ends up, will be a major concern. All of them together, at once, is not a concern. What is a concern is that some of what was brought from storage will complicate the process where it sits currently. So, to even begin doing what I need to do, I will have to... I am not sure exactly, though it has to do with moving boxes, deciding things like where the cat food should now go, seeing if the table will fit in the dining niche along with the chairs, then reconfiguring the boxes so as to have some usable space back in the kitchen. No job, when dealing with a home, is quite digital. Idea meets fact, fact goes back to idea level if it fails or proceeds, considerations arise which either let the process continue or sends it back to the idea stage, and so on, until either the job is done, all available energy is spent, or time runs out on the work period.
There are other things I really would like to do, as much because they are one shot jobs (such as setting the bed up properly) as because the items which will be used to do those jobs are currently underfoot, more so in an already overcrowded with boxes and furniture home further conflated by the new arrivals. There are far too many of those jobs to do them all right now, the bed, 3 bookshelves, a couple of end tables, and whatnot else, plus then figuring out where to put them, to try the whole set of tasks at once. Of course, with the things which need rebuilt, finding the fasteners first seems to be as much of an issue as anything else. These jobs, all little, but when connected with what needs to go on before them, then the jobs themselves, and what to do after, make the simple into minor to major headaches. Hopefully, with the bed together tonight and the kitchen re-ordered, these things become more possible tomorrow and throughout the week. If I remember to look for the connectors, bolts, nuts, and whatever else tonight, that will be a great start.
Still, a shower, a run into the store, perhaps a check up on my friend, ending my storage account, and maybe a lunch. Perhaps maybe a mix of some of those things, if my friend wants to go around town a bit to get out of his apartment. But, only after I get the kitchen done I think. A little work here, a restful drive, some chow, a little social, and then back in time to begin working on the food. Yes, that is how I am seeing things.
I just could not rest. Cooling down and chilling for a half hour was quite good though. Now to get back to it. At least nothing will be as hard as this morning was, as reasonable as even that turned out to be. Wow, life really is beginning to pop a bit. I think I am actually getting a bit excited about the prospect of getting my home in order and beginning to then get popping on the outside, yard, and maybe checking some other areas for repairs, updates, upgrades, or other types of care. (Keep saying that...)
Later.
Done.
.
.
Getting up and going was a bear. Going to bed early does not mean going to sleep any earlier, and I knew this but had to try. I was 5 or 10 minutes late, but that was the best I could muster. I will not go to Church late, period. But on some other things, there is that window. The work was not as bad as I had thought it was going to be if it was not a breeze. My wounded had performed well enough, if a couple of times it really got my attention and let me know there are still some real limits.
I tried to give the men some money for gas, offered breakfast or lunch, and came up flat. They just did it to help and that was that. At least I had a some soda they liked. What can you say to that? Thanks, thanks a lot.
As for today, I do not know what is going to happen. I would like to do a lot of things. I would like to see if the storage unit office is open and close the account, settling up if necessary. I would like to actually shower before going in, which if I go in I will do. I would like to get the bed set up, the extra furniture arranged, the table placed with the chairs around it. I would like to go to Church. I still cannot find my good shoes, which need polished if I find them! Huh? Is this not a Saturday? Bah, who needs weekends off. Just Sundays, or so they say.
The house, of course, is still a mess. I was midway through unpacking just the kitchen when I fumbled into the beehive of plumbing. Though, I do believe, that will be getting settled much more quickly with the rest of my goods here, a table to use in the kitchen (oddly, that is huge), and the plumbing tended. But too, it will not be overnight. I would guess it is going to take me two weeks to have things mostly sorted, cleaned if needed, furniture and bookcases up, and everything roughly placed. That gives me, roughly, a week to then begin cleaning a bit, grocery shopping, and any final things in preparation for a smoother visit with my Mom.
Yes, I am running at about 300 miles an hour, from the work. It feels good, if I know I will be paying a price before too long? Maybe as I am getting used to doing much more, that price is going down though. I could almost see where it might eventually simply go away for the most part. Even the 100 pound weights, if heavy, left me with no impression that I was overdoing. Things have certainly changed here, and without the need for any medicine. I really wonder if my blood pressure has fallen? Once I get on a more reasonable diet, more regularly, I think my diabetes will come into control as well. Actually, even with my occasional poor choices, my diabetes was a lot better the last time I saw it checked. And, I can get an idea about how things are when I urinate. Too much foam, not good. Sticky crystals on the toilet, I am way out. Though the lower but still too high diabetes will not always show.
I am pleased, and thankful. Good day.
.
Getting up and going was a bear. Going to bed early does not mean going to sleep any earlier, and I knew this but had to try. I was 5 or 10 minutes late, but that was the best I could muster. I will not go to Church late, period. But on some other things, there is that window. The work was not as bad as I had thought it was going to be if it was not a breeze. My wounded had performed well enough, if a couple of times it really got my attention and let me know there are still some real limits.
I tried to give the men some money for gas, offered breakfast or lunch, and came up flat. They just did it to help and that was that. At least I had a some soda they liked. What can you say to that? Thanks, thanks a lot.
As for today, I do not know what is going to happen. I would like to do a lot of things. I would like to see if the storage unit office is open and close the account, settling up if necessary. I would like to actually shower before going in, which if I go in I will do. I would like to get the bed set up, the extra furniture arranged, the table placed with the chairs around it. I would like to go to Church. I still cannot find my good shoes, which need polished if I find them! Huh? Is this not a Saturday? Bah, who needs weekends off. Just Sundays, or so they say.
The house, of course, is still a mess. I was midway through unpacking just the kitchen when I fumbled into the beehive of plumbing. Though, I do believe, that will be getting settled much more quickly with the rest of my goods here, a table to use in the kitchen (oddly, that is huge), and the plumbing tended. But too, it will not be overnight. I would guess it is going to take me two weeks to have things mostly sorted, cleaned if needed, furniture and bookcases up, and everything roughly placed. That gives me, roughly, a week to then begin cleaning a bit, grocery shopping, and any final things in preparation for a smoother visit with my Mom.
Yes, I am running at about 300 miles an hour, from the work. It feels good, if I know I will be paying a price before too long? Maybe as I am getting used to doing much more, that price is going down though. I could almost see where it might eventually simply go away for the most part. Even the 100 pound weights, if heavy, left me with no impression that I was overdoing. Things have certainly changed here, and without the need for any medicine. I really wonder if my blood pressure has fallen? Once I get on a more reasonable diet, more regularly, I think my diabetes will come into control as well. Actually, even with my occasional poor choices, my diabetes was a lot better the last time I saw it checked. And, I can get an idea about how things are when I urinate. Too much foam, not good. Sticky crystals on the toilet, I am way out. Though the lower but still too high diabetes will not always show.
I am pleased, and thankful. Good day.
Friday, July 9, 2010
I best be getting to bed.
.
.
A wake up which allows me to be somewhere at 9:00 is going to take everything I have, and then to do heavy work shortly after waking, will make it quite a day. But I am planning on confession and Church as well! Ugh... I have set my alarm for 6:00 in the hopes I can drag my lump out of the sheets, get a shower, throw something edible down my gullet, and make the half hour drive for the 9:00 meeting. But going to be at 3:00 will not work.
I have been doing very minor things, and few of them, today. Some things were done and a few things were set up. It seems I needed rest a great deal. There is only so much I can pull and push out of what I have, only so much blood, just so many dollars, and that is the way of it. I have enjoyed the day. The house stays cool enough compared to outside to really enjoy a day off. No driving was wonderful. I even took a nap in the afternoon and enjoyed it immensely. I have no guilt and will not delve into disappointment. I did what I could.
Wheat, garbanzo beans, and a mix of standard beans are either soaking or continuing on their path to being edible. It really is not much work, and I am terribly curious about both the wheat and the garbanzo beans (for real hummus). While in town tomorrow, I may even stop and get real fresh lemons for the juice and fresh whole cloves of garlic. I have bottled lemon juice and garlic powder, but I thought, if I am going to go through the kind of work it takes to actually soak, cook, and otherwise work garbanzo beans, why not go the whole way?
I put out some meats to thaw, and will buy some bread, good bread, while I am in town tomorrow. I am sure there is fresh kiln baked bread somewhere in town, being a college town and all. Though, with the economic collapse, I am not sure what we used to take for granted will remain true. Johnny's and Janey's parents are not quite so rich that they can be fat and stupid and spoil the brats anymore. Heck, the credit card companies can no longer just give the dolts cards like they used to. Still, fresh bread. Hmmm, something with a good crust, nice bite like a partial whole wheat mostly white bread, farmers bread, or sourdough! I would love to keep sourdough going, but... come on. I think that takes daily work? Even if not... I do not know...
Hey, kids, it is time for me to quit gabbing with my fingers and hit the hay. You all sleep well and, know you make my prayers from time to time. Good night.
.
A wake up which allows me to be somewhere at 9:00 is going to take everything I have, and then to do heavy work shortly after waking, will make it quite a day. But I am planning on confession and Church as well! Ugh... I have set my alarm for 6:00 in the hopes I can drag my lump out of the sheets, get a shower, throw something edible down my gullet, and make the half hour drive for the 9:00 meeting. But going to be at 3:00 will not work.
I have been doing very minor things, and few of them, today. Some things were done and a few things were set up. It seems I needed rest a great deal. There is only so much I can pull and push out of what I have, only so much blood, just so many dollars, and that is the way of it. I have enjoyed the day. The house stays cool enough compared to outside to really enjoy a day off. No driving was wonderful. I even took a nap in the afternoon and enjoyed it immensely. I have no guilt and will not delve into disappointment. I did what I could.
Wheat, garbanzo beans, and a mix of standard beans are either soaking or continuing on their path to being edible. It really is not much work, and I am terribly curious about both the wheat and the garbanzo beans (for real hummus). While in town tomorrow, I may even stop and get real fresh lemons for the juice and fresh whole cloves of garlic. I have bottled lemon juice and garlic powder, but I thought, if I am going to go through the kind of work it takes to actually soak, cook, and otherwise work garbanzo beans, why not go the whole way?
I put out some meats to thaw, and will buy some bread, good bread, while I am in town tomorrow. I am sure there is fresh kiln baked bread somewhere in town, being a college town and all. Though, with the economic collapse, I am not sure what we used to take for granted will remain true. Johnny's and Janey's parents are not quite so rich that they can be fat and stupid and spoil the brats anymore. Heck, the credit card companies can no longer just give the dolts cards like they used to. Still, fresh bread. Hmmm, something with a good crust, nice bite like a partial whole wheat mostly white bread, farmers bread, or sourdough! I would love to keep sourdough going, but... come on. I think that takes daily work? Even if not... I do not know...
Hey, kids, it is time for me to quit gabbing with my fingers and hit the hay. You all sleep well and, know you make my prayers from time to time. Good night.
Quality check on beauty?
.
.
Reading one of my daily blogs today, the notion of rating women on a scale of 1 to 10 was part of the discussion. Along with it was possibly more advanced theory regarding how those numbers vary with the intended outcome by the participants (male), of the equation. While all interesting, and possibly quite true, or not, I found myself thinking about the rating system to begin with. I did leave some ignored as usual comment about there really not being any real 10's, none that I have met, seen in pictures or movies, or have any connection with or have, ever.
Why no 10's? Simply, every beautiful woman I have seen and the ones I have encountered more closely, have flaws. Imagine if, Farrah Faucet is your thing, if she talked like Donald Duck or something. Every woman, no matter how beautiful, and to my knowledge and certainly acquaintance, has had at least (say) four things a bit... off. Weird boob sizing issues, moles where they really are not attractive, voice issues, or... something. The whole notion of 10 is an ideal that I have never seen fulfilled. Further, once the mystery is gone, the rating further declines. If you chase a 10, successfully, hope to wake up with at least a 7 or maybe an 8. And, this will change too, if you are into the long term deal. Usually it goes down from there. If you want to be a father however, pregnancy can bring back that 10 status, if in a very different way.
Oh, how dare I judge woman, compare one woman's beauty to the next? Do tease. Woman are the most horrendously judgmental beings on the planet when dealing with appearance discrimination. They can get past it too, but never letting go of their firmly held position. Changing only if some social situation calls into question her long held belief, like seeing a woman she knows to be... less, with a man she greatly admires or desires. This will either shake her confidence, lower the man's status, or both until her processes yoyo into a more or less subjective balance somewhere in there. Women are absolutely brutal in their assessments and judgment regarding beauty. They do not apply this to men, as we are not and not considered beautiful. We are powerful, perhaps, and can lend that power to a degree to their pet projects. Same with wealth and fame. And whether that be on an interpersonal, a local, regional, national, or an international level, that is how men seem to be judged. Women are so judgmental they will starve themselves, force themselves to regurgitate what they have eaten, take pills and other odd things, on to surgical procedures. But make no mistake, it is not for men. It is for their own hyper-self-image.
So, I have no problem assessing women based on a subjective objectifying basis. I also look at myself and try to see what they are seeing. I am stumped there though. Each woman seems to view things extremely differently, some loving what they see, others not so much. I do not have a good model by which to predict any woman's reaction. Though too, I know that their hormones, on top of anything else, and possible what pheromones I am giving off, have more to do with it than anything conscious or even subconscious. Not even what I bring to the table monetarily or anything else matters at the stage of the game I am in, so long as it is seen as 'decent'. The one physical attribute I have that is almost like catnip though, is my height. Well, catnip or as a vacuum cleaner to cat. Either it pulls them in, or sends them looking for cover. The majority, I would say vast majority, are attracted.
Anyway... Does the fact that women, on a scale of 1 to 10 can only reach 8 change anything? Not really. I think it simply adjusts for the emotional or psychological limitations of men and the reality of women and the truth of living in imperfect skin. What was always said about food... ah, hunger is the best spice, or some such. As with hunger, lust.
I still enjoy women, I just hold no false hope of finding the perfect woman. I am merely saying she does not exist. The woman, should I find her, will be accepted, warts and all as they say. Just as she will have to come to simply appreciate what I am when no one else is looking. And that is fine. I suppose, like the fairy tales of princes and princesses, I think we as a people have been focusing on the wrong things, filled with false hopes, and being lead down a path that cannot lead to success. I want to burst that balloon. I want to chastise the hype. I want to see men and women go back to doing what men and women do, and quite successfully, at least if left alone to it. Bah!
.
Reading one of my daily blogs today, the notion of rating women on a scale of 1 to 10 was part of the discussion. Along with it was possibly more advanced theory regarding how those numbers vary with the intended outcome by the participants (male), of the equation. While all interesting, and possibly quite true, or not, I found myself thinking about the rating system to begin with. I did leave some ignored as usual comment about there really not being any real 10's, none that I have met, seen in pictures or movies, or have any connection with or have, ever.
Why no 10's? Simply, every beautiful woman I have seen and the ones I have encountered more closely, have flaws. Imagine if, Farrah Faucet is your thing, if she talked like Donald Duck or something. Every woman, no matter how beautiful, and to my knowledge and certainly acquaintance, has had at least (say) four things a bit... off. Weird boob sizing issues, moles where they really are not attractive, voice issues, or... something. The whole notion of 10 is an ideal that I have never seen fulfilled. Further, once the mystery is gone, the rating further declines. If you chase a 10, successfully, hope to wake up with at least a 7 or maybe an 8. And, this will change too, if you are into the long term deal. Usually it goes down from there. If you want to be a father however, pregnancy can bring back that 10 status, if in a very different way.
Oh, how dare I judge woman, compare one woman's beauty to the next? Do tease. Woman are the most horrendously judgmental beings on the planet when dealing with appearance discrimination. They can get past it too, but never letting go of their firmly held position. Changing only if some social situation calls into question her long held belief, like seeing a woman she knows to be... less, with a man she greatly admires or desires. This will either shake her confidence, lower the man's status, or both until her processes yoyo into a more or less subjective balance somewhere in there. Women are absolutely brutal in their assessments and judgment regarding beauty. They do not apply this to men, as we are not and not considered beautiful. We are powerful, perhaps, and can lend that power to a degree to their pet projects. Same with wealth and fame. And whether that be on an interpersonal, a local, regional, national, or an international level, that is how men seem to be judged. Women are so judgmental they will starve themselves, force themselves to regurgitate what they have eaten, take pills and other odd things, on to surgical procedures. But make no mistake, it is not for men. It is for their own hyper-self-image.
So, I have no problem assessing women based on a subjective objectifying basis. I also look at myself and try to see what they are seeing. I am stumped there though. Each woman seems to view things extremely differently, some loving what they see, others not so much. I do not have a good model by which to predict any woman's reaction. Though too, I know that their hormones, on top of anything else, and possible what pheromones I am giving off, have more to do with it than anything conscious or even subconscious. Not even what I bring to the table monetarily or anything else matters at the stage of the game I am in, so long as it is seen as 'decent'. The one physical attribute I have that is almost like catnip though, is my height. Well, catnip or as a vacuum cleaner to cat. Either it pulls them in, or sends them looking for cover. The majority, I would say vast majority, are attracted.
Anyway... Does the fact that women, on a scale of 1 to 10 can only reach 8 change anything? Not really. I think it simply adjusts for the emotional or psychological limitations of men and the reality of women and the truth of living in imperfect skin. What was always said about food... ah, hunger is the best spice, or some such. As with hunger, lust.
I still enjoy women, I just hold no false hope of finding the perfect woman. I am merely saying she does not exist. The woman, should I find her, will be accepted, warts and all as they say. Just as she will have to come to simply appreciate what I am when no one else is looking. And that is fine. I suppose, like the fairy tales of princes and princesses, I think we as a people have been focusing on the wrong things, filled with false hopes, and being lead down a path that cannot lead to success. I want to burst that balloon. I want to chastise the hype. I want to see men and women go back to doing what men and women do, and quite successfully, at least if left alone to it. Bah!
Another tough day.
.
.
But it will not be an empty one, not completely. A headache is creeping in, the body does ache, and the will is somewhat sapped. My interest, physically, to be active is sapped. But need, my mental will to get things done, and the greater physical activity of late which finds me restive when idle, among possibly other things, no longer allows me to stay seated for too long. As I roam my new frontier, something always catches my eye. A task I have been considering, a chore which should be attended anyway, something out of place or a collection of items not yet sorted, all find my hands laying to work, if work of a more minor nature.
A few eggs were in the offing for breakfast. I have 3 more, so may boil extra this evening. As well, I need to soak beans, I did not get that task completed last night. The wheat has been drained, the wheat rinsed, and the jar containing them placed on a side. Further, I found a recipe for hummus, using dried beans, and they are now soaking for handling tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a tough day for it, as I will be completing the move from storage and going to Church. Still, I felt called to do that task. The cat box has been cleaned. The plants have been watered. And, while stepping out to water the plants, the condition of my yard struck me again, as did the pleasure of being outdoors. Picking up sticks might be done today. Sam will help, I am almost certain. Little bits and pieces like this are being tended and contemplated, if too, pushing too hard or far is not likely to happen.
It is both wonderful and terrifying to be on the edge of this chasm. I know, if I start down it with full force, that it is a never ending line of tasks until the day I die. There is no rest down there, only moments with which to catch a breath. My life, for the last two decades, has been just the opposite. Work being a thing I use to refresh my ability to breath easier with. Everything I think and do will change. I am not sure at this point if I can stop the change. I am not sure I want to stop it. But I do have a deep fear. Fundamentally, it has been this fear which has kept me back.
I have looked at this basic underlying problem. But, like a cubic foot of water in some sort of separated suspended place where it may still be felt, manipulated, and studied, the form and reality of it is perplexing. As a people, we have developed words and ideas to attempt to name it. We have created whole schools of thought to try and tame our fear of it. Those are just about as useful as the theory of dark matter is currently though and in truth. They fill a void we fear and do not know.
I suppose it has something to do with a lack of faith in all things of flesh. I know everything here changes, grows, dies. I know no truth can be had here, we are not capable of truth, not full complete truth. I think our minds would overload and our hearts would stop if we were to suddenly face truth. Actually, I think to a greater degree that is what death is to a degree. There are many aspects to this difficulty. Like water has physical characteristics, observable and objective properties, chemical properties, and yet is simply what it is. So too this... whatever it is.
Anyway, I am not sure I can avoid the properties of this problem interfering with the solution. It is the immovable object, in my life, being confronted by the unstoppable force. That is what is happening. One or the other will give way, and this causes no small fear. I may break. Some aspect of me has to break. Will this kill me? I am dying no matter what I do. But do I want to drown in a river, over my head in the waters of life, bashed against rocks of hard labor and an intractable world, running to my last breath in a race I cannot win? Or do I want to quietly, silently, painlessly, drift under the current without but a gurgle and maybe a start as I realize my time is done?
Yes, perhaps deep. Perhaps too deep. Perhaps childish machinations that matter not a whit in the end. But that is where today leads me, as I sense I can neither stop what has started, comprehend how I got here, decipher the future, or even understand what has been holding me back. I will say death is near. My death. I am not sure if it is here like a vulture, merely waiting for the inevitable no matter what I do. Or if it is here to see why I will not be visiting with it as soon as was slated. Is it pushing me in one direction or another. I simply know that death is near.
Whatever the case, I cannot stop now. If for no other reasons, I have things to do. Things I want to do, things I am obligated to do, things I need to do, things I simply am doing. I know like few other times in my life that my hands are not my own. I know to Whom I have placed control over them. I feel, and perhaps even see, the strings. And yet, not all of them nor the future. Perhaps the death I sense is for me, perhaps it is for some aspect of who I was, perhaps it is here to threaten me back to that easy life and death.
Too much. I have... things to do... A few aspirin might help the body. I might even take a short nap. But more will be done, the treadmill of life has been purchased, brought home, set up, and I am addicted now. There is no choice regardless of my fear. And this, too, I think, is good.
Perhaps a few pictures might help. Of how I feel and what I hope? Yes.
Later.
.
But it will not be an empty one, not completely. A headache is creeping in, the body does ache, and the will is somewhat sapped. My interest, physically, to be active is sapped. But need, my mental will to get things done, and the greater physical activity of late which finds me restive when idle, among possibly other things, no longer allows me to stay seated for too long. As I roam my new frontier, something always catches my eye. A task I have been considering, a chore which should be attended anyway, something out of place or a collection of items not yet sorted, all find my hands laying to work, if work of a more minor nature.
A few eggs were in the offing for breakfast. I have 3 more, so may boil extra this evening. As well, I need to soak beans, I did not get that task completed last night. The wheat has been drained, the wheat rinsed, and the jar containing them placed on a side. Further, I found a recipe for hummus, using dried beans, and they are now soaking for handling tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a tough day for it, as I will be completing the move from storage and going to Church. Still, I felt called to do that task. The cat box has been cleaned. The plants have been watered. And, while stepping out to water the plants, the condition of my yard struck me again, as did the pleasure of being outdoors. Picking up sticks might be done today. Sam will help, I am almost certain. Little bits and pieces like this are being tended and contemplated, if too, pushing too hard or far is not likely to happen.
It is both wonderful and terrifying to be on the edge of this chasm. I know, if I start down it with full force, that it is a never ending line of tasks until the day I die. There is no rest down there, only moments with which to catch a breath. My life, for the last two decades, has been just the opposite. Work being a thing I use to refresh my ability to breath easier with. Everything I think and do will change. I am not sure at this point if I can stop the change. I am not sure I want to stop it. But I do have a deep fear. Fundamentally, it has been this fear which has kept me back.
I have looked at this basic underlying problem. But, like a cubic foot of water in some sort of separated suspended place where it may still be felt, manipulated, and studied, the form and reality of it is perplexing. As a people, we have developed words and ideas to attempt to name it. We have created whole schools of thought to try and tame our fear of it. Those are just about as useful as the theory of dark matter is currently though and in truth. They fill a void we fear and do not know.
I suppose it has something to do with a lack of faith in all things of flesh. I know everything here changes, grows, dies. I know no truth can be had here, we are not capable of truth, not full complete truth. I think our minds would overload and our hearts would stop if we were to suddenly face truth. Actually, I think to a greater degree that is what death is to a degree. There are many aspects to this difficulty. Like water has physical characteristics, observable and objective properties, chemical properties, and yet is simply what it is. So too this... whatever it is.
Anyway, I am not sure I can avoid the properties of this problem interfering with the solution. It is the immovable object, in my life, being confronted by the unstoppable force. That is what is happening. One or the other will give way, and this causes no small fear. I may break. Some aspect of me has to break. Will this kill me? I am dying no matter what I do. But do I want to drown in a river, over my head in the waters of life, bashed against rocks of hard labor and an intractable world, running to my last breath in a race I cannot win? Or do I want to quietly, silently, painlessly, drift under the current without but a gurgle and maybe a start as I realize my time is done?
Yes, perhaps deep. Perhaps too deep. Perhaps childish machinations that matter not a whit in the end. But that is where today leads me, as I sense I can neither stop what has started, comprehend how I got here, decipher the future, or even understand what has been holding me back. I will say death is near. My death. I am not sure if it is here like a vulture, merely waiting for the inevitable no matter what I do. Or if it is here to see why I will not be visiting with it as soon as was slated. Is it pushing me in one direction or another. I simply know that death is near.
Whatever the case, I cannot stop now. If for no other reasons, I have things to do. Things I want to do, things I am obligated to do, things I need to do, things I simply am doing. I know like few other times in my life that my hands are not my own. I know to Whom I have placed control over them. I feel, and perhaps even see, the strings. And yet, not all of them nor the future. Perhaps the death I sense is for me, perhaps it is for some aspect of who I was, perhaps it is here to threaten me back to that easy life and death.
Too much. I have... things to do... A few aspirin might help the body. I might even take a short nap. But more will be done, the treadmill of life has been purchased, brought home, set up, and I am addicted now. There is no choice regardless of my fear. And this, too, I think, is good.
Perhaps a few pictures might help. Of how I feel and what I hope? Yes.
Later.
How much today, not much..
.
.
The day started late. Then again, I worked from 8:15 to midnight or a little later, to a degree then did not end up in bed until almost 3:00. Now, at some point, I would like the notion that I can do everything I did yesterday as a slightly unusual day and keep on hiking the next day. I might, or at least could, get to that point. Today though, my body and mind simply are not in that kind of shape. I am in better shape than I have ever been off medication, with only one medication ever offering this kind of function. If too, that medicine was hard to take just like the rest. I am nearing that "high" though, and doing it free-range.
As I work to expand my days, handle appointments, work on the house, fill other obligations and duties, climb out of bed earlier and regularly, eat better, and exercise, I can only see that getting better. My main threat is finding life normalizing and seeing me shrink to fit a less demanding life. This is going to be a true test. When appointments are no longer requiring me to go into town, when the paperwork is completed for all and asunder, when everything is moved in and settled, it will be my will, created need (if literal in some theoretical or health sense), and wants which will either drive my wagon, or not.
School was good for this, but I was not ready to attend school and may still not be fit. I need to be more regular in my schedule for a longer period of time. I need to be more fit, physically. And I will need to revisit old course topics and review the material well before I contemplate a return to academics. At this time, I have to prove to myself that I am not just ready but that I am able. Honestly that may never happen. I may simply be unfit for school and am not interested in chasing the rabbit down the hole only to have it disappear again.
I think Church might offer opportunities. One of the things I have been thinking about since living in Iowa is visiting those condemned to die in prison. Here the Pope and I have a slight disagreement. It is not directly over the issue, as I think we concur fully. However, where we disagree is in whether men can (and will be when they should be) kept in prison safely. Prison guards and other inmates are at risk with many of those who are or should be condemned to death. They cannot be warehoused safely at a reasonable cost to the 'state'. Anyway, that has nothing to do with me visiting them. Iowa did not have a death sentence but Utah does. So, that could be an avenue to work. Of course, going to Church and becoming a bit more involved would be a good step all by itself. As would occasional spiritual retreats with men's groups and to the monasteries. There are several here in Utah, when visiting Iowa I would like to visit the one I visited the fist time, and I could travel to many of the monasteries in the U.S. and even abroad perhaps.
Of course, my interest in the outdoors, in hunting, fishing, hiking, and camping could easily be more fully realized here, in neighboring states, and further afield should I meet and make friends with others who like to travel a bit. Horse riding and hunting using this means has been on my mind as well, if the costs are currently prohibitive. Some of this can be done quite inexpensively, considering I have been gathering a good deal of gear over the years. Any extra outfitting might merely be a 4-season tent if I want to extend that into the winter, a few minor tweaks to my gear list over time, and a few higher end pieces to facilitate safety, comfort, longevity in the field, or such.
Back to earth, I have much to do in and around the house for some time. Both simply making this home functional by setting it up, and then maintenance. I must admit, I will never quite be a homebody. Whether it is because I am a guy or because I am the type of guy I am, keeping a house neat and tidy is about as interesting and functional for me as managing a show poodle. I would rather sick Sam on the little bowed dog-mice. That would be much more fun. Bah!
Still, I will make all attempts to create some sort of functional household, maintain appearances on the outside and lawn, and do a few other things. Then again, there are real things I am planning that do not require 'Ladies' Home Journal' at all. A cistern with a rain water catch system to fill and filter the water. Considerations regarding alternative energy sources and developing a system of backup electricity, and deciding about then implementing tying that all into my current system. The repairs on the hen house. And other little needed or wanted improvements of a more mechanical, electrical, or logical nature. As well as the simple improvements possible in ones own home for optimization, comfort, or simply added function or form.
Livestock, of course, is a large responsibility, but one I am considering as well. These things would tie me down a bit. But, with a little ingenuity and in the process of making friends and become a local, this and some limited occasional travel could be managed. All of it is going into the bean grinder and being sorted. I would like to develop some means of extending my ability to be gone for a day or more. Whether through automating, or that combined with friends who can check the system, only time will tell.
For now, prepping the place, setting up the house sum total (and outfitting it a bit more), getting into better physical shape to include a little hand therapy to begin today, and taking care of external demands will see me on my way to that time where it will all come down to me getting off my butt and moving in the right direction... or not. Life and these demands, at this time, with my improved ability to function out here, is my virtual Ritalin... It is nearing an end though. The "docs" are pulling the script and all I have left is a 30 day to 3 month supply left, depending on how I use it. The choice is coming soon.
Well, that is how it is here and now. That is the forecast. I have no answers yet about anything else. I do not understand more or less. I could be wrong though I do not see where. For today though, I will rest. I might see to the lawnmower setup. I may start it. I might pick up sticks and such in the yard to prepare for mowing. I might even mow. Or, I might not. Hopefully though, whatever I do, I will not simply sit here.
Have a good day.
.
The day started late. Then again, I worked from 8:15 to midnight or a little later, to a degree then did not end up in bed until almost 3:00. Now, at some point, I would like the notion that I can do everything I did yesterday as a slightly unusual day and keep on hiking the next day. I might, or at least could, get to that point. Today though, my body and mind simply are not in that kind of shape. I am in better shape than I have ever been off medication, with only one medication ever offering this kind of function. If too, that medicine was hard to take just like the rest. I am nearing that "high" though, and doing it free-range.
As I work to expand my days, handle appointments, work on the house, fill other obligations and duties, climb out of bed earlier and regularly, eat better, and exercise, I can only see that getting better. My main threat is finding life normalizing and seeing me shrink to fit a less demanding life. This is going to be a true test. When appointments are no longer requiring me to go into town, when the paperwork is completed for all and asunder, when everything is moved in and settled, it will be my will, created need (if literal in some theoretical or health sense), and wants which will either drive my wagon, or not.
School was good for this, but I was not ready to attend school and may still not be fit. I need to be more regular in my schedule for a longer period of time. I need to be more fit, physically. And I will need to revisit old course topics and review the material well before I contemplate a return to academics. At this time, I have to prove to myself that I am not just ready but that I am able. Honestly that may never happen. I may simply be unfit for school and am not interested in chasing the rabbit down the hole only to have it disappear again.
I think Church might offer opportunities. One of the things I have been thinking about since living in Iowa is visiting those condemned to die in prison. Here the Pope and I have a slight disagreement. It is not directly over the issue, as I think we concur fully. However, where we disagree is in whether men can (and will be when they should be) kept in prison safely. Prison guards and other inmates are at risk with many of those who are or should be condemned to death. They cannot be warehoused safely at a reasonable cost to the 'state'. Anyway, that has nothing to do with me visiting them. Iowa did not have a death sentence but Utah does. So, that could be an avenue to work. Of course, going to Church and becoming a bit more involved would be a good step all by itself. As would occasional spiritual retreats with men's groups and to the monasteries. There are several here in Utah, when visiting Iowa I would like to visit the one I visited the fist time, and I could travel to many of the monasteries in the U.S. and even abroad perhaps.
Of course, my interest in the outdoors, in hunting, fishing, hiking, and camping could easily be more fully realized here, in neighboring states, and further afield should I meet and make friends with others who like to travel a bit. Horse riding and hunting using this means has been on my mind as well, if the costs are currently prohibitive. Some of this can be done quite inexpensively, considering I have been gathering a good deal of gear over the years. Any extra outfitting might merely be a 4-season tent if I want to extend that into the winter, a few minor tweaks to my gear list over time, and a few higher end pieces to facilitate safety, comfort, longevity in the field, or such.
Back to earth, I have much to do in and around the house for some time. Both simply making this home functional by setting it up, and then maintenance. I must admit, I will never quite be a homebody. Whether it is because I am a guy or because I am the type of guy I am, keeping a house neat and tidy is about as interesting and functional for me as managing a show poodle. I would rather sick Sam on the little bowed dog-mice. That would be much more fun. Bah!
Still, I will make all attempts to create some sort of functional household, maintain appearances on the outside and lawn, and do a few other things. Then again, there are real things I am planning that do not require 'Ladies' Home Journal' at all. A cistern with a rain water catch system to fill and filter the water. Considerations regarding alternative energy sources and developing a system of backup electricity, and deciding about then implementing tying that all into my current system. The repairs on the hen house. And other little needed or wanted improvements of a more mechanical, electrical, or logical nature. As well as the simple improvements possible in ones own home for optimization, comfort, or simply added function or form.
Livestock, of course, is a large responsibility, but one I am considering as well. These things would tie me down a bit. But, with a little ingenuity and in the process of making friends and become a local, this and some limited occasional travel could be managed. All of it is going into the bean grinder and being sorted. I would like to develop some means of extending my ability to be gone for a day or more. Whether through automating, or that combined with friends who can check the system, only time will tell.
For now, prepping the place, setting up the house sum total (and outfitting it a bit more), getting into better physical shape to include a little hand therapy to begin today, and taking care of external demands will see me on my way to that time where it will all come down to me getting off my butt and moving in the right direction... or not. Life and these demands, at this time, with my improved ability to function out here, is my virtual Ritalin... It is nearing an end though. The "docs" are pulling the script and all I have left is a 30 day to 3 month supply left, depending on how I use it. The choice is coming soon.
Well, that is how it is here and now. That is the forecast. I have no answers yet about anything else. I do not understand more or less. I could be wrong though I do not see where. For today though, I will rest. I might see to the lawnmower setup. I may start it. I might pick up sticks and such in the yard to prepare for mowing. I might even mow. Or, I might not. Hopefully though, whatever I do, I will not simply sit here.
Have a good day.
Even done does not mean done.
.
.
Baked, tired, sore, but... I drove in to town. My friend was not hungry, so I got myself some chow. The restaurant I had hoped to be open had just closed. I tried to call in a pick-up order. It was a no-go. So, I went to Tacobell, I think, and ordered 6 taco supremes and 2 burrito supremes. Yeah, yeah, Mom, soda too. And I ate most of it. I did say hungry and bear, I do believe. He is looking better. Think, 5 pints of blood, or units anyway, and an equal amount of saline solution, in two days.
I asked whether he had contacted his nose doctor, or whoever, about his nose. He thought he would wait until this was all finished, and I suggested he call anyway. Get an appointment set up where he can get some iron pumped in and see his other doc all in one fell swoop. Seeing a doctor who has the potential to stop the bleeding in the middle of getting enough blood and iron pumped into one to completely replenish a human should provide a little bit of gravitas toward the stated goal of him doing his magic and fixing the only known source of bleeding. Just a hat tip there.
Well, a lot of food, some chitter chatter, some tv, and then it was time to head home. On my way home, though... I thought, you know... no hiking, but I do have the lawn mower right now. How about, since I am sort of taking Friday off, if I picked up a gas can and filled it. Then I thought, well, my snowblower takes regular gas, but I am not sure about the lawnmower. Why not get two cans. Then I thought, well, if it does not take straight gas, then I will need oil. I will need oil, to some degree, no matter what. So, to Wal-Mart I go. A 2 gallon tank for the snowblower, a 1 gallon tank in case the lawnmower needs a mix, and a can of oil. On the way home, I filled the 1 gallon tank and my gas tank. I figure if it needs oil mixed in, I can simply pour some of that gas into the two gallon tank.
I just cannot seem to quit tonight. But gee are my bones, muscles, brain, back, neck, and other unidentifiable parts tired, sore, and overheated. I might not get to mowing tomorrow. Might not even pick up sticks and check for hidden items I should not run over. But... I can if I want to. Yes indeed.
Now, good night. Ugh... Wherever you are.
.
Baked, tired, sore, but... I drove in to town. My friend was not hungry, so I got myself some chow. The restaurant I had hoped to be open had just closed. I tried to call in a pick-up order. It was a no-go. So, I went to Tacobell, I think, and ordered 6 taco supremes and 2 burrito supremes. Yeah, yeah, Mom, soda too. And I ate most of it. I did say hungry and bear, I do believe. He is looking better. Think, 5 pints of blood, or units anyway, and an equal amount of saline solution, in two days.
I asked whether he had contacted his nose doctor, or whoever, about his nose. He thought he would wait until this was all finished, and I suggested he call anyway. Get an appointment set up where he can get some iron pumped in and see his other doc all in one fell swoop. Seeing a doctor who has the potential to stop the bleeding in the middle of getting enough blood and iron pumped into one to completely replenish a human should provide a little bit of gravitas toward the stated goal of him doing his magic and fixing the only known source of bleeding. Just a hat tip there.
Well, a lot of food, some chitter chatter, some tv, and then it was time to head home. On my way home, though... I thought, you know... no hiking, but I do have the lawn mower right now. How about, since I am sort of taking Friday off, if I picked up a gas can and filled it. Then I thought, well, my snowblower takes regular gas, but I am not sure about the lawnmower. Why not get two cans. Then I thought, well, if it does not take straight gas, then I will need oil. I will need oil, to some degree, no matter what. So, to Wal-Mart I go. A 2 gallon tank for the snowblower, a 1 gallon tank in case the lawnmower needs a mix, and a can of oil. On the way home, I filled the 1 gallon tank and my gas tank. I figure if it needs oil mixed in, I can simply pour some of that gas into the two gallon tank.
I just cannot seem to quit tonight. But gee are my bones, muscles, brain, back, neck, and other unidentifiable parts tired, sore, and overheated. I might not get to mowing tomorrow. Might not even pick up sticks and check for hidden items I should not run over. But... I can if I want to. Yes indeed.
Now, good night. Ugh... Wherever you are.
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