Why trust doctors?

.
.
No reason I can summon, that is why I do not trust doctors. Among the many things they try to foist on patients, is the notion that drinking, at any level, is bad. I have heard this from almost every doctor I have seen, the ones who did not say so only omitted doing so because they were actually far too busy doing something that they actually do know something about (or think they do?). Here is one indication of how wrong doctors are. My guess is this also works with other things. Smoking tobacco, I might agree with the general findings. However, I will not stand by that absolutely. As for chewing tobacco, I doubt the prevailing medical opinion absolutely if without concrete evidence. What I have found though, is there has been NO RESEARCH into health benefits of chewing tobacco. Why? It is political in nature. Tobacco gives to Republicans, and despite what any particular doctor eventually smartens up to believe (if he gets beyond his indoctrination), the system which indoctrinated him from professor to dean to member of the AMA is so leftist it is scary. Researchers to physicians, this group cannot be relied on to use the science they claim as their cover. Anything regarding diet, health practices, to... almost anything they suggest, is at least questionable.

If doctors knew what they were talking about, there would be a lot less drug use in their ranks, they would be healthier and happier people, and they would honestly be able to help people with serious complicated health issues. Here is another example, how many overweight people have been helped by modern doctors? How many people do they functionally cure, from any disease, illness, or imbalance? These are not doctors who heal. These are pseudo scientists who use humans as guinea pigs. If I had a way to do it, I would make sure my doctor could not sell my file (even stripped of "personal information") to researchers. That, I think, is as much about what they do as anything. Do you honestly trust researchers? Bah!

Look what the cat dragged out of bed.

.
.
I went to bed very late, again. A 3:30 bedtime is not conducive to an 8:00 wake and makes it tight for a 10:00 wake up. I did set the alarm for 8:00, and tried to put it in my mind to wake up and then reset the alarm for 9:00. I woke, but not until 8:30. Sam helped. When the alarm goes off, she knows she has my permission to pounce, purr, tickle my face with her whiskers, and otherwise pester me to rise. Not that I am too bothered if she does so otherwise, it is that her attempts then are less likely to succeed and she knows I try to rise with the alarm, and she can help me with that. She can be a persistent pest. She wants let out.

The alarm did not wake me until 8:30, so instead of resetting it for 9:00, I reset it for 10:00. Again, the alarm did not wake me immediately. Beyond, I am moving slowly. I did make some breakfast immediately and started my manual caffeine drip. At least I do not have a headache or anything else with which to contend. I need to see if today is a holiday or not. I am always lost on those things.

I looked over my list from yesterday. Hmm, someone was full of himself. Further, it is raining, has rained anyway, and is threatening rain again. I am not sure how much will really be done. The appointment will be made, unless today is a holiday. I might go in anyway to see if doc is still going to be in. He was gone all last week, in the corner of one of those new mixed martial arts fighter's corner. He really is good at what he does, the doc anyway.

I do not follow the fighters, so I am not sure who this one is. For me, fighting is not a sport. I think beat them down, kill them if necessary, take a walk to cool down, and take a shower, assuming you are not dead, and that is fighting. Since now I would have to discuss things with policemen, I would rather avoid altercations. Well, it is more than that. I never really did like fighting, it was simply necessary at some points in my life. Anything else is a game, and I do not play games. So, I really do not care to watch. And lest you think I have not faced serious opponents, I have fought against 7 opponents at once, martial artists, and a golden gloves winner. Meh, wrestlers make me the most nervous, tricky bastards.

Well, I best get to figuring out what is going on today. Have a good one.

Blimy, I have to figure this out.

.
.
My sleep patterns that is. I have not been able to sleep until very late and thus I have not been able to wake up until 15:00 for the last two days. This will not work. I am going to have to call on all the willpower I can muster and fix this. Oh, I do not mind it. I am not sleeping long hours, actually quite the reverse, I am staying up longer and longer. I do not mind it in one sense, and yet I need to maintain both regular sleep patterns and be functional during the day. I have many reasons to do that and I like the notion. So, though these last few days have not hurt me, that is not the point. Tomorrow I am going to try and be awake by 10:00. Same goes with the rest of this week. That is the goal, though if I can wake up a little earlier, say 8:00, I will. I really have a goal of getting up at 6:00. That would be an excellent time to take a stroll to the dam and see if I am still coldproof, dipping into the waters and seeing how far I can go for about an hour.

I am somewhat surprised how quickly prepping goes when in the correct environment. No doubt, I could technically have been doing more before now. Practically, however, I have had my hands more than full. Even the down times I have had were needed, and they were slight. What I have done here, already, is nothing short of miraculous, perhaps even for a normal guy. At this point though, I am finding that I have large holes of time that are being wasted. Some of that is needed, some of it is due to overload, some of that is due to my existing condition. My improvement regarding wasted time, however, has been huge. How does one measure going from zero to 25 mph, perhaps up to 45 mph, and maybe eventually highway speed? There is not a chart or a math formula which functions with that well. Inertia has changed, but I am fighting both it and all the other factors which tend to get and then keep that zero quality and quantity.

Some short term food storage, more bullets, extra gear, matches, and hopefully some gardening set up. Actually, despite these last two days and occasional slips, even my schedule has been altered. To survive, daylight living is a must. Then again, without television, the computer, and with only work and reading perhaps, a regular schedule would be much easier to maintain. Especially since lights out would mean sundown. There are so many things yet to do, so many things I could and should buy, contacts to make, and livestock in which to invest.

Something that does concern me, about livestock, is husbandry. Unless I have neighbors who have similar stock for crossbreeding, those lines would be rather limited. Oh, I am sure three breeder rabbits and chickens and a buck and rooster would produce for years. Then what? How much inter-breeding is tolerable? Same for two or three she-goats and a billy. Horses are long-lived, but are also prone to disease, injury, and could bolt. Unless I have people within a 30 mile radius, the closer the better, raising similar stock, I would be in trouble. I am probably in better company for that here in Utah, but that is not a guarantee. Further, foodstock for those would be easy enough here, mostly. But water would be an issue, quickly. I suppose this township would figure something out swiftly, but a full water system as we know it? Lots of things to think about.

You know, if I won the lottery (a hypothetical, as I do not play), I would definitely have a well here. Then again, I am not sure that is possible. I still have not been able to track down whether a well is allowed within a certain distance from city water. Some states outlaw that, but I have not found that out for this state. A well would cost, roughly, between $10k and $20k, with no guarantee that water would be available. Now, that is after swimming through the water rights freakshow to even purchase the necessary water rights, which cost $3.5k to $4k. I just looked over my finances and they laughed, you heard that, laughed at me. I thought about laughing back, but my feelings were hurt. Ha!

Tomorrow. I will simply take one foot, put it before the other, and march on. So it is tomorrow I will consider. Actually, today. I will finish the dishes. I did none of them last night. I will also do what laundry I have and the bedding this time. Tomorrow I have an appointment. Though, is tomorrow Labor Day? Anyway, if I have an appointment tomorrow, fine. I also plan on doing two sessions of weed whipping, testing the vinegar concoction (just vinegar at various strengths and a spray bottle, but concoction sounds... more erudite!), finishing the shoveling, and then cooking something on my recently cleaned grill. I will also send a request of information to the V.A. and see if they will send me proof of disability to use for tax purposes. If I do get that, I will attempt to get my auto and home taxes arranged Tuesday. If they cannot send proof, I will try to figure out the next step in that process and go on from there. Assuming tomorrow is not a holiday. That is that, other than making every effort to be awake and moving by 10:00 or earlier. That is going to be the tough part.

Well, later. I am done rambling for a bit.

It could be worse.

.
.
I kid you not. Though I have some serious problems dealing with life, I have avoided death (sort of), drugs, hoarding, obesity (technically still obese, but that does not make sense in my case, really), or other problems. No, I cannot make decisions well, or quickly, but I do make them. And, if all else fails, I begin chucking things. I have some sort of limit. I did dance on my grave with alcohol. But I beat it, finally. I never really tried drugs seriously. They are expensive and I worried about control. Not as in control of my life in the broader picture, more about control of my limbs, balance, and cognitive function. And, for being very unhealthy, I am very healthy. I have set up an appointment for the 15th, a general checkup. I have not checked my blood pressure in a bit. The last time I did it was much lower than what it had been. I am curious about my diabetes too. My urine does not cause foam in the toilet, so I am guessing it has improved as well.

Though I do have some underlying problem, in a way, this is compounded by having no need to work. They play on each other. When one fails to hold me down, the other may kick in. I am, honestly, amazed I am out here, in a home, and have done what I have done. I had a lot of help. But I had to ask for help and direct it or let that help do what it did. I am, slowly, too slowly, trying to work my way out. It reminds me of a particular type of problem in calculus. In those problem types, two functions (linear formulas for example) are both going to zero. If the problem leads to a real solution, the one in the numerator goes to zero first. Otherwise the problem will not produce a useful answer. This has real world implications. In my case, the math cannot actually help, the problem merely outlines what I see. There are no formulas I can use to check and see, as well I have no means of changing the numerator or denominator. However, outside influences can impact those formulas, somehow. Anything from trauma, which could bring me back more quickly or sink me, to economic situations, to perhaps simply figuring something major out, and there is always the potential that the medical field will seriously re-evaluate my health, find the real problem, and actually have a method of treating it that works.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring. There will be changes. There will be good things. And there will be bad things. None of these are actually important. What is important, for me and others, is not what happens but how we deal with whatever happens. Within certain constraints, I do well. Outside of those constraints... I know I have dealt with very harsh things. I know I can do so. I guess I simply do not like the notion.

Bed time. I need to cut off caffeine earlier. I am staying up way later than I like, if too I still wake in 8 hours (unless I really push my up time, and the vast majority of the time otherwise). Anyway, good night.

Not much.

.
.
Getting out of bed was a bear today. I think I finally dragged bottom out at about... 14:00 or 15:00. Whack! Getting to anything proved tough. I have the dishes soaking again. I did get out and finish cleaning the grill. More degreaser, more scrubbing with the steel bristles and scraper, hosing things down, and a final bit of work with an oven cleaner. I cannot say it is beautiful or new looking, but it should be clean. Oh, then I let it burn for about 45 minutes on high. That should remove any trace elements. I will cook on it a few times between now and next weekend to make sure things taste good and are safe. Chemicals can be nasty and long lasting.

I have enjoyed Sam and Sassy today. Sassy needs attention, Sam just wants it from time to time. They are still at it and I suspect another month or more. I am not sure how old Sassy needs to be before she is more a cat than a kitten. That might be required too. Sam comes to me when she wants out, Sassy when she wants a teet, company, because I make an odd sound or meow, or just because while running around she ran out of steam near me and noticed me. *laughs*

Tomorrow will be a little or nothing day too. I might do some laundry, finish any dishes if I do not do them tonight or what I do not do tonight, and straighten the house a bit. I am sort of keeping to my weekly schedule, if things might be done a day or three late, they usually get hit soon or late. How often should bedding be washed? Some people do it weekly, but that seems a bit heavy to me. I know nothing about these things. Then again, I think everyone else just makes it up too, so...

I ordered enough kit to fill 50 buckets for long term storage. I now need the food and the buckets. I will probably only buy 25 buckets and lids right now. The food will come in even slower. I am hoping to split things up so that I do "sets" of foods all together. Something, for me, is I would like a lot more beans (legumes) than what is suggested. Though I like grains, and I know the 'grain to legume' model, I also know I usually eat a lot more beans than that model would suggest. In a mix, I add about 50% of each. I am not sure what that means nutritionally, I only know that is how I like it. I also eat more than what is suggested. Then again, what is suggested is aimed at small people. I would lose serious weight and too fast on a 2k, even 2.5k diet. If I am active, in the heat or cold, doing work, traveling, or exercising, I need about 3.5k calories. If I get to 2.5k or less a day, I simply begin shutting down. Anyway, that part of my prepping is beginning.

I am having to consider both the life I have now and the life potentially to come. Getting my mind wrapped around it is not a simple thing. Understand that driving to the city, should that even be tenable, would be a days exercise both ways, there will be no gas. A medical situation could easily be fatal, there will be no medical. I saw what it took for them to even find what was bleeding and sew it shut when I cut my hand, and I realize how quickly and easily that happened. It does make me glad that I am not taking any medications, as well. You cannot stock up enough for that and who knows if it will ever be produced or available. Electricity will be down, so no freezer, so meats we are used to will not be available. Beef will be missed. Milk will be missed. Most "fresh vegetables" will be missed most of the year. Heating will be difficult. I have been thinking about figuring out how to add a wood stove, though there are problems with that. Wood, even here, would be a long haul. Even with the plethora of horses in this area, wood would be a problem. I would guess that using a wood burning stove to heat the place for the winter and cook, I would need 7 to 12 cords a year. Look, if production, some form of government, and other resources did not come back online within 6 months to a year, most of us simply would not make it. Biker gangs would kill everything that could sustain them within a reasonable reach and even they would starve and die relatively quickly. Only the military would hang on for an extended period of time, and most likely, they would not share. They might accept serfs to handle gardens and the like, or to replace troops, but they would not simply help. It would not be sustainable. Anyway... just rambling through some things.

Good night.

Everything on the list...

.
.
Save dishes, so far. Although I did a number of things not on the list too. I will not bore you with details today. I am pleased that I got up, got busy, got done, and it is just 22:00. Shooting went well. Today, there were places to sit. I cannot believe how easy it is to shoot while seated. Oh, I knew. I just did not realize I had become that good of a shot. At least a good shot within 50 yards. Pistols, at that range, are a little rough. Actually, that is not true either. My friend loads to the max capacity, not caring a whit about accuracy. And this load will be this velocity, that one another, there is no similarity between rounds. It is still fun to shoot. With my .22 pistol, with similar rounds throughout the shoot, I can pretty much peg anything in the 50 yard area. With the .45, I can usually reach out to 35 yards, sometimes a little farther.

I found a good price on the chainsaw I would like. However, I am still unsure about whether to buy one. While in the store looking at the chainsaw and picking up more degreaser, I happened to notice they had a "survivalist" section. Browsing it, I saw they had survival blankets. They had the cheesy ones and heavy, multiple usage ones. I picked a heavier one. Sure, it weighs a slight bit more, takes more space, and cost a lot more, but it will pay for itself with a few uses. The tree saw they had, the chain type one, I passed on. Most of those are too flimsy and this was among those.

I have noticed that while I shop now, I am always looking for little bits and pieces. My eyes, as I like to say, are always on. They are anyway, though usually because people are dangerous, stupid, and seem to be unaware of just what I am. Too stupid to see a giant or at least give one space, too stupid to not to become a problem, I think. People like to push. Rather than push back, I simply point out that they are in my space and face them directly. The stupid move on, the rude think about it then move on. I have not yet faced an aggressor. Fools.

I do not know what I can get done tomorrow. I may go out and use oven cleaner on the grill, leaving it overnight. I purchased another hose today, a single hundred foot hose. I thought I had figured out how to control spray, I was wrong. I will need to get a fitting the next time I am in town. I would like to weed whip and shovel as well. And, probably, the dishes. I may get those done tonight, or not.

The business I was doing is still not done. I have talked to someone about all these things, completing some of them. Business is such a pain. No business can be done until Monday though. But, like last Monday, I will be ready.

Later.

I suspected noon.

.
.
And so it was. At 12:00, actually a little before, I woke. Sam has been letting me know it is time to go outside all morning, I think even earlier. But at 11:45 she started putting her cold damp nose into my business. That and getting an inch and a half from my eyes and meowing. I really think she means to scare the bejesus out of me. It used to work too, stupid cat. Of course, I like frights, so enjoyed it. I am complicated, like an onion. I almost made it out of bed before the alarm went off too.

Though I did turn on the television to get my morning, and local, news fix, I also prepped breakfast. It takes a long time, 20 to 30 minutes, to make cereal. Well, cooked cereal. I will not mess with Wheaties, Cheerios, or the like anymore. There is simply too much gunk in it all. And it is cold. I suppose I could add some milk, make it soggy, and microwave it. I could also just eat bugs. I know making breakfast right out of bed is normal for many of you. For me, though, it is irregular. Doing anything right after waking is a sign of a potentially good workday.

Yesterday was a twelve to thirteen hour workday. Though I did have the tube on while doing things, it was mostly background noise. Folding clothes, cleaning guns, and some other things require more attention than not. I am not sure how much I will be able to get done today, though rising even at this time of day, with breakfast in my stomach, and with a list and a good will already, I could get many things completed. Perhaps this will make up for the slack I was feeling with the days before this. I almost dropped into lethargy again, scary.

In about a half hour, after waking properly, letting breakfast process, and getting into the afternoon where people will be available for phone calls, I will begin calling. I have many phone calls to make, including that last bill. If I can knock those out early, any real work will be a breeze. I went online last night and looked at the price of tools I would like at Sears. I should check Lowe's too. Sears priced a variable 26 foot ladder, circular saw and blade pack, chainsaw, and a few sawhorses at just at $1060 IIRC. The ladder is expensive, but it does everything I would need, from a 26 foot extension ladder, a step and uneven step ladder, to a varied level scaffold, and it holds 300 pounds while being tested to up to 4 times that amount before failure. A circular saw is on the list for sure, as are sawhorses. Though I might simply rig up a few extra of those. The chainsaw is the one thing that is questionable. But damn it, a chainsaw would really be good.

Anyway, the plans for today were outlined last night. I am going to get through what of that I can. Knowing me, I will hit some snags and find additional jobs, so who knows what will be done. Good day, I hope you get your lists completed as well.

Another nothing day.

.
.
*sigh*

Almost.

I woke late, ran slow, but at 15:00 I called to check on my home insurance. It looks to be going through. They received the inspection and have sent it on to the underwriter. As far as I know, that is it. I let another hour roll by, then almost another. But there have been things on my mind. With a little work and some concentration, I finally got off my butt. At first I was a bit overwhelmed with the number of things to be done and a number of additional items on top of those things.

What to do first. So many things needed tending that I simply decided to dive in and see where I got and then make plans. I decided to see what was in the laundry room and figure that out, plus some towels. While I was at it, I finally put up a retractable clothes line. I had a bathroom rug and a runner rug Sam had... despoiled... in various ways. They had been soaking. Along with the towels, a half cup of vinegar as some of the towels were sour, and the towels and washcolths, I put in the first load. There were towels in the dryer. I worried that they would be a bit sour, but they were fine, so I folded those and the jeans that were in there. I also took the shirts I had put on hangers from my last wash day to my bedroom. A few last towels from the last load and the jeans need to be put away, but they are on my bed so that will be easy.

After that, I began soaking dishes. Those things really creep up on a guy. As I was doing that, I realized the beans needed to be cooked and I had meant to clean the grill. I also remembered I needed to fertilize the plants and clean my guns. It was getting late though. I decided to take one job at a time and see how far I could go. I rinsed the now well soaked beans, remembered the ham bone and some side pork I had recently purchased. A quick searing of the pork fat, and thawing of the ham bone, a fresh load of water on the beans, a combination of all that, and I started cooking those. Fertilizing the plants was an easy and quick job, so I did that. Then I realized the cat and kitty litter really needed hit. So, I did that, sweeping everywhere afterward. Since I have double kitty litter tubs for each size, this time when I switched them out, I cleaned the used tubs and set them to dry.

Then I grabbed the degreaser I had recently purchased, and to the grill I went. I need more degreaser and will need to spray off that area before I let Sam out tomorrow. I am not sure how she is with that stuff, but knowing cats, I will err on the side of caution. Of course, the job will not be completed without a lot more degreaser. Still, I gave it a hearty go, using all the degreaser I had, using the steel brush as well, between spraying. I then came in and got to work on cleaning my guns.

I cleaned my .45 spic and span clean. The .22s are a pain to clean. Simply put, getting cloth down the barrels is proving impossible with the equipment I have. I do have a bore snake for that, but it is not the same. At least with the Henry, it is not so vital. Actually, cleaning it then oiling it makes it somewhat sticky. After a hundred rounds the Henry gets cranky when levering the action. If I do not clean her for a couple hundred rounds, she then cycles easily no matter how many I put down her tube. Still, I prefer to at least give her some care. The .22 pistol has to be kept clean. Ruger makes a good pistol, but it is a semi-auto and a picky one. I get more misfires, rare as they are when clean and probably due to the "quality" of standard .22 ammunition. If the pistol is not clean, I think it becomes a 'dirt' issue. She is as clean as I was willing to do tonight. She really needs stripped down and hard core cleaned. However, there is a trick to reassembling this pistol. I have forgotten it. It is on YouTube, but I do not currently have sound on this machine, so... That is another job for another day.

I never did get to the dishes. I will reset the soak, take out anything wooden for the overnight soak, and get to that tomorrow. I also need to pay my final bill tomorrow, call the V.A. for an appointment (standard checkup), call around to see if I can get a better number to call for a V.A. rep to get my files transferred and obtain proof of my V.A. disability for tax purposes, call my chiropractor as nothing is set up and should be, and maybe get to town for some hard water conditioning stuff to try and open the cold water in my washing machine, buy some more degreaser, and maybe go shooting. Well, we will see about all that. Then again, I did not think I could do what I did today either, not in the time allowed.

Hey, have a good night. You know some of you are still heavily on my prayer list. It is good to see checks coming in again for you and life getting back to normal after the scare with the pox on your house for you. And of course, we all need prayers in these times, as we prepare for what is to come. Yes indeed. Good night.

Addendum:

I had hoped to work up the energy to do the dishes before going to bed. That did not happen. However, I did scratch one major and long time itch. I went through old emails, cleaning my main system to a mere fifty or less. I had to go through nearly a thousand emails. Some I want, and had been looking for. Most were needing to be circular filed. I had not gone through them because of time and because some were necessary for a dozen bits of business, including buying this house. I have been wanting to dump those for so long. I think, I say I think, I can safely dump those. Either way, that itch has been scratched. Of course, it is nearly 4:00 here, now. Oh well. Tomorrow starts early... afternoon. I will get done what I may. Good night.

It is time to get busy again.

.
.
I still have some business to tend this week. Still, I think I can line up the last five or six tasks and begin doing some manual work. I am hoping to finish the business tasks and then begin shoveling, weed whip a couple of times, check out the hen house and make a decision about that, and that will be all for this week. Next week I would like to have the weed whipping completed, be set up to do some tree trimming Saturday, build what of my reloading bench I have lumber for (if I do not do that tonight...), and hit the boxes I still have stored upstairs, and begin figuring out the wiring and plumbing in the house.

Everything beyond that is more money dependent than time dependent. I am not sure how much steel roofing is needed or how much it might cost, for example. And even if I cannot quite pull the money for a chainsaw out of my budget, I might get a ladder. There are a dozen things a ladder could help me do, things that do not cost money. I need to figure out if the light at the peak of the garage is merely burned out or if there is an electrical problem, I need to finish painting over purple trim that I had not noticed before, and the ladder might see me to some of the tree trimming. The thing is, if I get a step ladder (more useful), it very well exclude even attempting most of the trimming. A step ladder would be the best. There is a ladder which supposedly acts as both types, and even can act as a scaffold. I am simply unsure about how real the claims on that are. And it is a good deal pricier. Decisions...

Even if it seems like a slow week, I have been doing more than it seems. The work is different. Calling, waiting for replies, recalling, finding people, faxing, figuring out bills, reimbursement check validities, and mucking about in money and insurance notions. I could have done more along the physical side, but I tend to get jammed up doing this kind of work and cannot repurpose myself. Yes, I get stuck. Still, only a few tasks left of the pile I started with. I need to shove through that, I want it done by Friday, maybe even tomorrow... my part of it anyway.

Hmm, I think I am going to look over the reloading table, get the tomatoes watered, soak some beans, and clean as many of my guns as I can. It is about time with those, past time. I would like to go shooting soon but have decided I will not do so until I get my guns cleaned. Darn it, I want to plink!

Good night.

Late start, little done.

.
.
The phone number I was given to try and call the V.A. to get proof of disability and to have my file transferred is bogus. After fifteen calls I have yet to even get past being told that the phone lines are too busy to even put me on hold, saying that I should call back. I have tried to get an advocate directly, I have followed the "directory" around to various call centers, and it always ends up the same. I will need to speak to someone, probably Scott (I think, the first man I visited recently), and see if they have a real number or a particular person to call. If nothing else, I may have him arrange an appointment there in Salt Lake City.

As well, I have heard nothing from the electrician. I have called him two or three times since the initial call, his call back, and faxing him the material he needs to sign and send. I will be calling him again tonight, two or three times if needed. I have until the end of the month to get this done, actually a little less. However, there is nothing I can do if he will not call back. I really cannot afford to have some other electrician come in, possibly doing repairs that were supposed to be done already, and even if I could there is little or no time. Trouble, that is what this is becoming. I may need to inquire into the services of a lawyer. Trouble indeed.

Another day of doing little. I have to figure out how to get some more work done. I have done much of the business that I can do. I have one thing waiting for tomorrow to complete. The rest of my business hinges on a defunct phone number and an electrician who does not seem to be interested in doing what he was asked to do. So, where to go from here? It is all... confused. This, you see, is why I hate doing business.

Sam and Sassy are doing well. Sassy is playing less, and I am weening her off playing with my hands. She still misses her mom, though I think her mom would be weening her by now anyway. Then again, Sam still misses her mom. I guess cat types never quite get truly weened. Then again, men do not either. The two have not started getting along any better than they have been for about a week. I do not think they will until Sassy is a good deal older. Sassy continues to attempt to creep up and just be near Sam. Sam is stuck on boxing the minx, lightly, then leaving. Though she sometimes hunts the kitten, acting all cool and casual, but I can tell what she is doing. Again, I cannot believe how much a kitten eats. No problems, I have enough food to last 2 to 3 months, I think. During the winter, I would like to stock up about 6 months worth of food, and more if I think the expiration dates are good. Just like me, I need to have extra foods on hand for the furballs.

I will be buying some foods and some water storage containers this coming month. I would like to buy 30 to 60 gallons worth of containers. As well, I am looking for collapsible canteens. I think 50 pounds of wheat, beans, and rice would be a good starting point. I do not have the containers for that yet. I will be putting them in the basement, wrapped in plastic, for now. I think the most expensive of the lot will be the rice, since I am buying brown rice. I think those are $30 to $40 per 25 pounds. As I do my shopping, I may pull out that list I tried to fill before and look around town again. Some things are simply difficult to find. I may have to be very creative in filling my short term survival larder. If I get these items purchased, next month I would like to get larger batches of multi-grains (more for short term, I think). I will also consider, in October, finding buckets, bags, dryers, and such. I will probably buy enough for my total planned needs, that is enough gear to stock a one year supply of food for three people.

I will be considering buying a chainsaw and ladder this coming month as well. I am not sure if I can afford them though. The food storage stuff is first. I have considered a used chainsaw, but that is... too problematic. Brand new chainsaws are often highly problematic as is. A used device would be a headache from start to finish. I think I can get a ladder for $200 to $300. Though I would like 2 ladders, that may not be in the cards for a long time. Deciding which ladder, then, becomes the deal. What a pain decision making can be. I know the Mr. will be bringing his chainsaw and his ladder, but that is for one critical area and a means for me to explore the notion of doing the rest on my own. Being how I have, if I end up being able to do it, a great deal of limbs to trim, that I have no idea how long it would end up taking me, and because I do not want to be responsible for someone else's equipment, I would not borrow.

Well, enough for now. A phone call, a little more research, perhaps the final shoveling, and then some dinner. Later or good night.

Addendum:

I did get in touch with the electrician. He suggested he is going to fill out the form, in the positive, and fax that to my insurance company. I will call them tomorrow to check on that. I can only hope that is the final thing needed to ensure I can keep the insurance. If so, that will be a huge relief.

Curious.

.
.
Memory, how to expand it. I have been reading material on this. I have a few books at home and I have looked online a bit. I forget what it all says. What I did get to, however, is that for memory to work well, sleep and being fully awake are required. Ah. But of course, I knew this. The thing is, this advice is everywhere and always and considered vital. Though I am awake for the better part of 14 to 16 hours a day I am still not fully awake even most of that time. Instead of being miserably exhausted when awake now, I am usually merely a bit sleepy. I would say it is much like after a long day and after one has cooled and cycled down. I still have enough mind energy and body energy to do trivial things. I still am not in shape to tackle major things. Or, not very regularly. This is what makes tending business so tedious most of the time. It is why I fear calling, writing, figuring a budget, and such. I can pump myself up for a minor haul through mental land, but usually only for one or two types of tasks at once.

While this is an improvement, it is not enough. I found that in school I could do very well if I pushed very far beyond understanding and into an area where I seemed to know nothing but could function in it anyway. I hated that feeling. I want conscious understanding, to a greater extent, of what I understand mechanically. I am not sure that is possible. As is, learning high level material makes me feel like cats feel when walking on wet ground. We both tread lightly, carefully, toward the quickest rout out, and ickily.

I am not sure how to improve memory or cognition. I am about to begin taking the math and physics materials out and recovering what I can of that material. I would guess, before I get back to class, I am going to be asked to demonstrate I have some grasp of the material. The good thing is, though it will take some work, I think I can bring back a decent bit of it rather quickly. But that is old material. Even though I can become, honestly, crack* at the type of calculus engineers are required to do, that is old material (*within the confines of how it is presented). New material, at the pace required, is always a pain. I cannot consciously learn 3 or 4 subjects quickly enough or well enough that I am not on 'wet' mental ground.

It is not just for school that I wish to develop these skills. To make it past where I am at, it is required for the next level. *ding* "You are now level 46! Only 34 more levels to go." Certainly, a long way to go. Then again, I am no longer level 5, 15, or even 30. I have come a long way. It is at this point, however, where I realize a mate would actually be functionally sound for me. A good woman. If she would work as hard getting me to and through school as she could, leaving me to work on getting through the coursework, I think I could make it. I might do so on my own, but a wife to tend the light home work, cooking, cleaning, and even occasional wake up calls, the possibility would increase greatly. It is something I certainly have to consider. The caveat is that the first year of marriage really messes men up. It, I have heard, is like losing one's right arm and having it regrow, if one were a guitarist, pianist, or otherwise works with the hands. I have to assume that will not happen though. So, how do I get from here to there? How do I push through from somewhat sleepy to more fully awake?

I mailed out the bills needing sent, I deposited several checks to finish the last of bills soon, I took my friend to Ogden for reloading kit and purchased another 1k .22 rounds and some gun cleaning solutions, then on the way home I purchased a corded drill and eight 8 x 2 x 4s. Next week, after payday, I will probably consider buying a circular saw. Well, maybe. I am considering whether I want a circular saw or a bench circular saw, if bench I will need to save up a bit. For my purposes, a bench saw should be every bit as good along with the added function, if price too. I am thinking on that.

I was not able to buy the plywood sheets. For one thing, I was not sure what thickness is needed. Further, I am not sure how to bring that back. The 2 x 4s, with a little work, fit in the cabin. I have rope, cinch straps, a cargo top, and ingenuity, which I used (except for the top) to safely transport the boards. I simply have some doubts about trying to drive with two 8 x 4 x 3/4 (1/2, or 1/4) strapped to my roof. Something up updraft, overhang, and such makes me a little wondrous at the affair. Still, that might have to be the way of it. You know, a wielder, some supplies and personal kit for that, a used axle, some steel beams, plywood, and a towing bar, all mixed, matched, paired, and plied could see me into my own cart. Though I am not sure if the thing would have to be inspected, licensed, wired, or what. You know, you really cannot just go and do today. Not without great risks, in more ways than one.

Ramblings as I close up shop. I think I will have a beer or two, watch some stupid tube, and then hang it up.

Oh, wait... Today I saw something that amazed and horrified me, in a way. No, no, nothing traumatic. On my way home, I stopped through a drive through. Ahead of me was a woman driving a new Ford "truck". It had been lifted, 6 or 8 inches I would guess, and all around. It had a double cab and a 4 foot bed. The back panel windows did not, by the looks of things, open. Further, the truck bed had a cover on it, one of those snap on jobbies. The driver, a woman, gave me a snide look which seemed to have something to do with my choice of vehicles, since it followed a quick review of the Xterra. Which, made me chuckle. First, she is not buying American, there is no such thing anymore. How many of the parts of that truck are foreign in origin? And further on not being American, she is supporting unions who support Democrats only, who are (both) trying to undo America. Secondly, the quality of the truck is impaired, and the price inflated above and beyond that, in the support of unions, Democrats, and foreign parts manufacturing. Next, she had a television in the back seat, and her kid, strapped in, staring at the stupid thing. Start em' stupid, start em' early? Yes, I think so. Get them hooked into the commercial matrix as soon as possible. Finally, her "truck" could not even haul the 8 x 2 x 4s I was hauling, let alone the plywood panels I am considering. What a *close your eyes here, virgin eyed readers* ... What a fucking LARK! And she honestly, sitting in Blue America (I do not care what "msm" has convinced you, conservative is blue... not red... assholes), looking down her nose at my vehicle. What a fucking laugh. Anyway.

It is about time to begin buttoning down. Another cool night in the offing and I will enjoy it greatly. The drive was not bad, or too tiring. However, I had my air on middling rather than cool for more than half of the drive, which added strain where it was not truly needed. Bother, but it happens. At least my fears of a dying ac were unfounded. Good night.

A few thoughts.

.
.
I have been considering a few things. One of my problems is having enough tasks to maintain function. Affordable tasks. Sure, building a house, rewiring the house, redoing the plumbing, updating the kitchen, and a dozen other tasks could keep me busy, and more. The problem is that all of them merely cost money, providing nothing back for the cost. Essentially, they are unsustainable. So, as I consider some tasks around the home and grounds, I must consider what jobs I could do which could end up making some money once I finish with my place. I am looking at tree trimming for this. A chainsaw, a ladder, the climbing gear I have and perhaps some more, a little experimenting, and I might have a money making situation. It can be a heavy set of tasks. It can be dangerous. But it can pay well also. And, if those interested are not in a great hurry, I could do it for less, at least initially.

No, that is not a guaranteed thing. I am not solidly looking that as probable and only slightly possible. However, I am considering what I could do which would begin providing income. Why? Because money talks. If I want to get out of my chair, walk, and work, I need an incentive. Though I could always use more money, the truth is, I do not. However, there are things I would really like. A new computer, a number of additional tools including a top drawer wielder, air tool set with compressor and tank, and more "camping" gear, not to mention a horse or three and all that takes, goats, milking equipment, and even cheese making equipment, chickens, and rabbits, with all those things take... including a hand once in a while so I can use some of that camping gear and ride those horses. Hmm, with a wielder, and some training, and more gear, I could begin building go-carts to trailers and such. There it is, lots of up-front layouts, training, and no guarantee of income.

I am trying to sort out jobs or products which I could find my way to doing or producing, that have at least local value, which require little in equipment and knowledge to start up, and which I could do in my own time within reason, or at least relatively part time. Right now I really do not have a clue. Sure, there is manual labor. That leads nowhere. As well, the economic fruits of that are quite small. Further, those types of jobs require early rises and full days. It is not even that I do not want that, it is more that I simply cannot do that. Though, and in truth, digging ditches, post holes, or shoveling manure... that really is not of interest. And I can afford to choose, to a degree. For my home and land, sure if it is needed, I could, have, and probably will do, lots of work.

There are some things out there that can bring lots of money. Carving, engraving, even jewelry making. Most of those are time consuming, require high startup costs in equipment, knowledge, or both. And none of those are in great demand in this economy. It would be good to think of something involving technology. Almost anything can involve electronics, computers, or such, with enough of an outlay. I simply am not sure where to start.

My skillset? Well, that is mostly computer based. Research, for example. No, the internet is only a good place to collect actual resources, then explore those. I can study and learn, though if it is theory... okay I am burned out regarding learning for no other reason than to say I learned something, something I will never ever use. I am, oddly, good with my hands. I can put things together, take them apart, figure devices and processes out and often improve them given a little time. If I like it, I can become obsessive doing it.

Right now, I am just considering things. I am considering trying to start school in the spring, again. And I will, hopefully this week, look into first aid and first responder training and volunteering. I am continuing to work on the grounds and puzzling a few things in the home. But I really have to pile on to dig out of this hole for sure. I need, if I am to ever truly make it through school, to be full force life involved before I get to it. But it would be nice to earn a few dollars while doing so, and perhaps right on through and after school and a potential future job. A hobby that pays for itself, job on the side, an additional worth to others.

Money is not the fruit, nor are the items it buys. Money is a benchmark of the value of what one does or provides. Those other things are just means of enjoying appreciation, of spreading that valuation around, and of using some of one's capital. Any other view of money could rightly be considered sinful. Of course, as anyone with a billion, or even a million, might tell you... the line blurs at some point. No worry about that at this point, eh? Ha!

Later.

Weird sleep and day.

.
.
My watch was an hour off. I could not sleep really well, looked at my watch, and thought 4:30 was not too early to rise. I tinkered, waiting for the morning to breach the sky and work to begin. And then I waited. And then I waited some more. I then, through a number of devices, realized I had woken at 3:30. No wonder it was taking so long. At 5:30 real time, I crawled back into bed and did not see daylight until noon or 13:00 or a little later. Foolishness!

Still, the sleep I received was excellent. And the awake time was rather pleasant too. Oh it has been deliciously cool. The last I looked, the inside thermometer read 72 F. When it is dry, with a little fan action, this is downright cool. Stepping outside, I see the difference, and enjoy the warmth of the day. It has been a fantastic and needed last few days of cool. I think I might even be hydrated again.

Actually, I woke at 13:15 or so. I woke rather well, actually getting to things by 14:00. I checked a pile of bills. A quarter of them are on automatic pay, one or two are a bit late but not drastically so, and the rest are just fine. I have written out checks, filled out envelopes, and had hoped to make it to town as well. I ran out of time. I have received two checks which need to be cashed, including the $500 reimbursement for rental insurance for my last place in Iowa. All very good. That check makes some other things a bit less... troubling. As well, I have tried to call the number to speak with someone at the V.A. To no effect. There is usually no one available, so much so, they just suggest I call later, every time. This is going to be a huge hassle.

A lot of paperwork has been done, and more needs to be done. If I have to, I will drive to wherever this V.A. center is and speak with someone. I may have to call ahead to make sure someone will see me, indeed. I need my files transferred, I need proof that I am disabled, how much, and what type, to go forward with tax exemption. My auto and perhaps property taxes are due this month, so I need to have the above proof to gain tax exemption. I have to figure out how to apply the tax exemption to escrow account and get that sorted out as soon as possible. Nothing like gunning on the run, under a clock, with my hands tied and no one answering the phones. One snafu smorgasbord after another? Heh! My life would not be complete without that?

The last bits of business are a few phone calls tonight. I need to speak with the electrician and find out if he can sign the inspection for the insurance company. If not, there will probably be problems. If he can, great. I received the fax number he can use to send that to my agency. As well, I will be calling the Mr. and trying to set something up for the first Saturday in September. I know the Mr. and Mrs. have something this coming weekend and I am rather glad they do. As much as I will be doing business wise, plus a little work wise, I think Saturday will be a good day to sit still and murmur. Not bad for a late start and just getting over whatever I just got over. The cat and kit are getting tired of me always being on the run or sick. They need some loving time too. Hmm, reminds me, while I think about supper, I think a kitteh needs chased and befouled! *woof*

Have a good day. Remember, if you cannot laugh at yourself...

Pick someone else.

I was able to dig in.

.
.
I did try to keep it on the light side, as I am still in rough shape. I did a bit of straightening, the litter boxes were tended as usual though, dishes were done, a few things which were soaking will go into the wash tonight, a couple of meals were cooked, and dishes were maintained with the last bits soaking now. I drove into town and did some shopping, picked up my friend, and barbecued for us tonight. There were some other tasks tended. Like I said though, light work.

I am still nursing a headache. I have been trying to drink like a fish. I ate pickles in hopes of adding salt to my system. Sore, with a headache, and still with a light fever which comes and goes. The world, to my great pleasure, cooled down hereabouts. We had a good deal of very cool rain today. I forgot to dance in it, next time, I assure you. Then again, I was not in great shape TO dance in the rain. Still, I promised, and I will... Someone else already danced when she got rain. I am not going to let a girl out rain dance me! Equal is fine, on this point, though. :p

I had meant to clean my guns today. I do not think that will happen. I am about at the end of my rope. Tomorrow... I will just have to see what happens. It will be cool enough to sleep well, though cool enough that waking up might be difficult. Especially after half a week of little sleep. It has been too hot and I have been too ill to sleep well. Still, when I rise, I hope to charge forth and tackle whatever I can tend. I hope to have most or all of my business handled by afternoon. If I get it finished early enough, I will call my friend. He wants to go to Ogden for some reloading supplies. I will take him either tomorrow or Tuesday. On the way back, whichever day it is, I plan to get a number of 2 x 4's for the construction of my reloading table. I have the other pieces, needing only wood. I also need plywood panels and pegboard for the hutch part.

A small handful of Tylenol, maybe some stupid tube to let that soak in, and I think it is bed time. No, trash has to go out first and Sam has to be lead or carried in. Silly cat. Both the mouse monkeys are doing good, really good. Maybe they are not getting along like sisters yet if they are getting... a little closer each day. Fewer batting practices by Sam, who is also getting closer and smelling a bit before she beings boxing. Sassy, she almost does not care. She stays as long as she can, hoping Sam will... relent, forgive, embrace... something. And I am sure it will happen.

That is all for today. A much better if still weak day. Tomorrow is the test. I am hoping for another cool day. Oh yes, one more cool day and I should be right as a rhinoceros. Good night. Prayers for all, on the house!

Okay, now what to do.

.
.
I am feeling a lot better today. There is a potential headache in the background. I will take aspirin today. I am just about awake too. I am not sure what will get done though I know I do not want to just sit. I am soaking dishes and will then pull some meats out of the freezer. After dishes are done, I will probably do some cooking. Though I would like to cook rice and more beans, with heat as it has been, I doubt if I will make more than some grains for "breakfast". I may take a drive into town to get some groceries as much for a few nutritional adds as to get out of the house.

Being Sunday, though I would love to finish the last pile of dirt and do some weed whipping I will not. Not only for my sentiments but because of the sentiments of my neighbors. Sure, I would pull my ass out of a hole, should it fall in on a Sunday, but weed whipping and shoveling can be done tomorrow. I am not quite so stringent that I think cooking or minor home tending is out of the picture. So, some of that will go forward.

It has been a very rough couple of days. Hydrating may or may not have been all of it, though I do suspect dehydration may have been a part of it. I ran out of soda a few days ago, as I was getting ill anyway, and there is the caffeine angle which probably did not help. I also lost my ability and interest in eating. But too, dishes needed doing so as to feel comfortable with more cooking. It is a whole cycle the runs through when things go bad. Still, a few days of a bad downtime is not all that bad.

Something else that will be done today is that I will make plans for Monday. I need to do a lot of business and time is ticking on much of it. I am not sure what I can do, other than call and try, wait and hope, then check back on these things in due time. This type of work is the most irritating. By the way, I did find that, as a vet, I have exemption from about a quarter of million in taxes. Since my home is not worth that much, I can use anything over that against my auto. However, I first have to get my files transferred from Iowa to here, then wait for a form indicating my disability, and then take that to whoever needs it. Nothing is all that fast or easy. However, unless I call, it will never be done. So, Monday will see that call being made.

Time to finish waking up, doing some dishes, cleaning the kitty and cat litter, getting trash ready to go out tonight, handling recycling for next week, perhaps finally changing bedding, and a drive into town... in some order or other. Have a good day.

Addendum:

No, it is not quite over. After doing just a few chores, I am fevered again. It is not hot outside, it just rained. It is 80 F inside and out, rather than 90 or higher outside. It is getting and staying in the 80's indoors regularly now though, so I suspect added heat does not help. I need to eat and drink much more regularly. I cannot be certain though. I have had fevers and such, off and on, for a long time now. It is part of why I suspect I contracted something either overseas or simply have a permanent bad reaction to some of the junk they gave us to prevent us from getting sick. The Navy piled on shots every time we were to go abroad. Still, I will get to what I want to do today. If nothing else, it is less severe than it has been the last few days. I can work through it now.

As sweat trickles down my neck...

.
.
And I prepare to add another large dose of Tylenol to continuing use of the junk because a heavy headache is setting in, I have to try to think through some things. My sleep patterns are changing, but I am still only sleeping about 8 hours a day. Perhaps I need to shift my sleeping pattern a bit more. Then again, that is not good. Sleeping in high heat, to me, is terrible. I have the worst of my dreams more frequently, I sleep poorly, headaches are more frequent, and I often feel ill much of my time after waking, even worse than now.

I am not sure what to do. I guess I just ride it through and hope. Though I am starting to think that central air might not be a bad choice.

Good night.

On fire.

.
.
Not sure why, but fevered and with a heavy headache. I probably pushed things too far. I will relax and set up for Monday. No problems. Hmm, maybe eating a little more often and a bit better could help. No sugars though, so it should not be that. Ouch. Yeah, I will pick it up and put it down when I can. I will just deal with the failures as they happen. No plans until Monday except to be ready to jump and run when it arrives.

Have a great weekend. Good night.

Dang it.

.
.
Nothing is working today. I have done nothing. I do have hopes of getting to some of the more important business, and maybe doing some shoveling this evening. Neatening the house, doing some dishes, and a little cooking would be good. But I simply do not know. I am not tired, I might be a little sore but that is minor (the boulders busted my mackrels... remember, I cannot sense when I hurt hard or overdo things). Still, I am in a dead zone. My mind and body are on vacation and pushing is not working. We will see.

I have been thinking about the upcoming election. Democrats, or worse, of course, are out of the question. Many if not most Republicans, and the party itself, however, are at the best troubling. However, there is only one real option. I will be voting a straight Republican ticket. Why? Because it is a direction thing. I do not believe Republicans are anything like a reversal of direction from Democrats. They are only a slower injection of the same poison... for now. Anything they might do would simply slow down what is happening. However, once the slowing begins, there is a chance to push that into a full stop. Going further, there is a possibility to reverse direction. As with engineering, economics, and every other school, politics is about increments. Incremental change is the only way, and to a degree this is how it should be. Imagine if the brakes on your vehicle were only ever either fully deployed or off. Driving would be... difficult and dangerous. Another example might be when prescribed medication, if you were only issued full dosage immediately or no dosage. Trust me, that is not good.

With a strong Republican majority, we can then begin weeding. Some areas, like our far North-East, will only ever provide token Republicans. Some areas are so fundamentally leftist that getting a candidate with an "R" after his name will be as good as it gets. They will be weak, they will split on even crucial votes, and they will be questionable about their reasons even when they vote with conservatives. The systems that have created politicians, from schools to medical care to professional unions, all play a part in why even when conservatives can be found and elected, they cannot be counted upon to act as they were elected to act. Those have to be changed, disbanded, shamed into abeyance, and financially strangled. Actually, much of this is happening due to a weakening economy. Their own creation is their own doom, in many ways. If we suffer with them, we suffer less for it.

I still think about some things. I do believe, as I wrote at the time of the creation of it, that "Bush's tax cut" was a fundamental stroke of genius. He could not get many things done, he simply did not have the power. This is one of those things that has done some of what I hoped it would. Beyond that, the sunsetting of it has caused such chaos in the ranks of both sides that it is proving to provide fruit even as it prepares to die. Another issue was putting Fannies in conservatorship. It did not, fundamentally, change anything going on with the two. What it did do was to point it out as being a problem long before it was considered a problem in the mainstream. It, in essence, gave the monster baby to those who really own it. As Riddick would have said... beautiful. Yes, beautiful indeed.

Though I have not been attending Church, I do listen to the Catholic radio Station and watch EWTN (one of the few gifts of having television). For me, going to Church with people is fine, unless half of them believe in murder. If I was in a Catholic Church in Germany in the 1930's and 1940's, if half of the attendees were devout NAZIs, I would not have attended either. Yes, abortion means the same thing to me... and the Pope... pick one. Not a Catholic and pro-abortion? That is another issue. But a Catholic who claims to be pro-abort, that is my territory. That would be like a "fellow" U.S. sailor, soldier, or marine who is a devoted communist. I was watching a show on EWTN recently which also affects this. When Christ said something along the lines of spitting out those who are lukewarm. The worst of the worst it seems. So many issues. And yet, at some point, I will have to enter the Church and find out if this Church... it's attendees, are lukewarm... or worse. Just so you know, it is on my mind almost always.

Well, I should try to get a few things done. Life is tough, doing nothing is worse. I must begin it. Good day.

Nothing.

.
.
Done, that is. I am simply all done in. I rested, relaxed as I could, and enjoyed Sassy. She needs and wants attention, as much as she can get. She wants a cat friend even more. She now shadows Sam, takes her beatdowns, and keeps coming back for more. If it gets too hot for her, she may run off and play for a bit. Sam, for her part, is becoming more tolerant. She still squints her eyes when she realizes (or remembers) Sassy is right under her or otherwise very close. They are both in good shape, and they will become friends soon, I think. I watched Riddick last night. The first movie in that line and the cartoon in the line the night before. Sassy reminds me strongly of Jack. (Jack being a girl who initially dressed like a boy, then mimicked Riddick in the first movie, and became the catalyst for Riddick's success in the final movie, should you be forgetting or interested.)

I am going to bed early tonight. I hope I can wake up at 8:00, drag my mind to the calls I need to make, and make plans beyond that. I do need some time off, again. I will take it. If too, like I said if only in hope actually, that my off time is more active than not.

Sleep well. God's blessings, prayers, and thoughts are going out for you tonight. Do not worry about deserving them, I do not deserve to offer them. It is what I have though. Good night.

Cooked.

.
.
I am, cooked that is. I had a tough time getting out of bed and a tougher time getting on the road. I was late, yet made it to my appointment in enough time to gain information. I have a phone number, some papers which will help me figure things out, a contact, and... that was it. I am simply finished. I will, however, perhaps, finish that last half of the last pile of dirt this evening. Other than that, nothing. Scratch that. The only other thing I will do is begin plans for what business needs to be tended, a long list just made longer, and begin making calls tomorrow, whenever I deign to lift my royal buttocks from under the sheets. I should be able to get all of it done, or at least touched on, in one day.

After the shoveling, then making a list and gathering pertinent information to complete the list, then the calls and visits tomorrow if required, I will take the weekend off. Actually, once I have done what I can tomorrow, all bets are off. I had hoped to work on the tree limbs this weekend. I just cannot get to that this week. I need a break.

And yet, I do not want to just sit and stew. No no my friends. I believe I will get to my first hike sometime Saturday morning. After that, I may do some research regarding a number of topics. I think I have the sprinkler down, but looking over ladders, chainsaws, and a few other things will occupy my time. As well, I purchased vinegar and several sprayer bottles. I needed more serious spray fire power for the kitteh, so I have extras. I will find a little spot to experiment with vinegar on weeds. Though I am not exactly sure what proportions to use. As well, I will be experimenting in a place where, if it all goes wrong and everything dies or something, I am not going to have great pains regarding appearances.

I am not quite ready for Church. It is still too hot. An excuse, but coupled with some other real issues and conditions and my already frayed nerves after recent Church experiences, that is the way of it. If there were several Churches nearby, where I could ease into things... no, that still would not work. I will get through this, and on to Church, as soon as I really can. I do not wish to throw the baby out with the bath water, but if there is no baby left... However, finally, I think I might begin working on learning the rosary tonight. I will look for my bible and catechism, but if I cannot find them immediately, I will probably go ahead with my study anyway. It is time for this.

Later.

Sleep.

.
.
I will need it tonight. Yet it is still quite warm, into the mid 70's F inside, the last time I looked. I never did take that shower, though I did finish the laundry, watered the lawn in several spots, watched another movie, and made popcorn. By the way, popcorn two nights in a row is more than enough. I will check the last dryer load in a bit, fold whatever needs it, take a quick body shower, and head to bed. Up late, but so it goes.

If I rise early enough tomorrow, I may try to finish moving the pile of dirt. If not, I will just go to town. I have the pictures in the Xterra, so that is set. I am not sure what tomorrow will bring. Perhaps there is no tax savings, perhaps there is. And I may find out about schooling, who I need to speak with here in Utah to get my case transferred. If I do have tax savings, I will probably need to get some paperwork, fill it out, send it in or hand deliver it, and... who knows what else. I am hoping he will know who to go to for help regarding the rebate. I should take in some paperwork for that as well. It should still all be pretty handy, in the "necessary" pile I recently created. On the way back, I have to get gas if I wish to weed whip, mow, or anything else. Of course, I am going to get a bigger spray bottle for a vinegar and water trial on the weeds. I am curious.

Oh, Sassy, the kitten, usually smells okay. Tonight, however, she smells bad. She has licked everything except her 'toilet' it seems. I think she knows how to clean herself, but she had not done a good job. I am wondering if she is getting too much milk. I try to give that to the furballs every other day. She usually drinks more than Sam, so I pour more for Sam, who then only takes a bit. The kitten may just be getting too much milk and this is causing problems. I cannot be sure, but I will work on it.

Good night, again.

Still hot.

.
.
The house and outside are still right at 80 F. The sun is well and truly down, has been for about an hour. I suppose, regardless of the newscasters, it really did get to 99 F today, or more. I did get out there though, working until I could not. I moved a small herd of boulders, the biggest of which I barely managed to lift. Then again, I doubt if I was at peak strength. It is a monster in any book though, at least for man powered lifting and moving. I used most of the boulders to line up a parking space parallel to the east-west road and to the west of my official driveway, putting the monster on the small spit of land to the east of my main driveway, all lined up. The next biggest boulder is directly across from the monster. Both have holes which will make fine planters. I am not quite sure what to put in them, but someone will help with that I am sure. After that, I began on the, as I know now, bigger pile of dirt. This thing is huge, about 2 times the size of the other pile or more. At least there are few rocks in this pile and that does make for lighter loads. I first thought to simply move the dirt, but after a few loads reconsidered and began neatening up the area and creating a main pile from which to work. I moved 1/3 to 1/2, I think. The ground underneath the pile is uneven, so it is difficult to gauge just what I am working with. I watered the plants and began watering the lawn again. At 22:00, it will be time to move the sprinkler.

In spite of my work, I am a bit... unhappy with today. I did not call the electrician, I did not get to the bedding, I did not call the Mr., I did not take the pictures back to the insurance company, and I did not work on bills. I really have to pick up the pace and begin making lists and keeping too them. I want to pick up the pace. How much have I improved? It does not matter if I cannot keep up with simple household chores, a few simple tasks, and business. I have to pick up the pace and keep on track. How to do this is another thing. That I will have to work on. Actually, I am just finishing off yesterdays laundry, though I suggested I might let that go so it is forgivable.

I think I will look for a valve or fitting that allows me to adjust the flow, in line, with the garden hoses. Then buy another set of hoses for watering the rest of the lawn, along with a better sprinkler for the job. The one I have puts out a circular pattern, I am hoping for something that does more of a square or rectangular pattern. I know nothing of sprinklers though, so I may do some research. Yes, researching a lawn sprinkler. It is almost sad. So much to figure out, limited money and time, but no one else will do it... nor should they. I just have to figure things out.

Oh, fie. I may be disappointed, but I cannot say that I have not improved drastically. I cannot deny I have and will do a lot of work. I am even getting my hands dirty. At least they are not getting greasy, at least not yet. That has always been a pet peeve of mine. I would not have taken a job where my hands are so oily and greasy that I could not get it out, or that my hands got that way for more than a short time. No rub on the guys who do and love it, it just is not my gig. Without them, what would the rest of us do? No, it is going well. But I really do have to pick it up and move a little faster. Excuses, or even reasons, are not acceptable anywhere anymore. If I want to live, grow, learn, and become a solid man, citizen, and student I have to just do it.

Well, that is that for the night. I am a little sore, tired, sweaty. When I cool down I will take a shower. I had thought I would grill some meat tonight, but I think I will put that off until tomorrow. Hmm, POPCORN! Yes, popcorn and a movie. Well, it was pretty darn good yesterday. Sleep well. Prayers going out tonight, some named, some not. I have been praying a bit more for a named. Yes I have.

So hot!

.
.
I did an hour of weed whipping today. First the machine ran out of gas. After filling it, the machine quit again and would not start. Still, I did a solid hour of work and that part looks much better. That fence line, though, will take a long time to work. The good news is, being as late as it is in the year, the weeds will not come back. I will try to figure out a way, next year, of battling the weeds early. I do not like the idea of chemicals, for many reasons. It may be the most reasonable option though. After that, I went to my appointment. I was running too late to take the pictures in to the insurance company. After the appointment, I stopped at Wal-Mart and now have four mini-spray bottles. Those are now filled and will be set around. Sassy does not seem to bothered by them though. Odd. I did not stop into the insurance company on the way home. Traffic was down from 50 mph to 35 mph, being far heavier than usual. As well, I read on two different signs that the temperature was 99 F. That may be why the weed whip quit. I started it up when I got home, to see if I needed to take it in. It started well, so I used it to clean up some of the area I had already hit, mostly to check it. It worked well.

Beside not taking the pictures in, I also failed to remember to fill up the gas tanks. I have an appointment tomorrow with the veterans' advocate. I am not sure what is on the menu tomorrow, work wise. Some of that is because today is not finished. I am cooling down and letting the world cool down before hitting it again. I am hoping to move the boulders and move the last dirt pile. I think I can, I really do. If I do those tasks, tomorrow will be weed whipping. If it does not storm. There is a chance of that. If it storms, tomorrow will be all about business. Then again, depending on what happens with the veterans' advocate, I may end up running from office to office after that visit, in order to do a bunch of other business type work. Everything is up in the air.

I will be calling the electrician tonight. The insurance company received nothing from him and I have heard nothing from him. I am pretty sure I put the material in correctly and I know I used the number he gave me to send the fax (and the material was sent and received somewhere). I will also call the Mr. I am hoping this Saturday will see some of the more troubling trimming completed and give me an idea of what I can and cannot do regarding trimming these giant trees myself. If that goes well, I will be quite pleased. Though that will mean I may need to buy a chainsaw and a ladder to do the work much more completely. I would not care to do that myself, or at least alone, so I may ask my friend to come over and be here should I fall, cut off the wrong limb, or have a heart attack.

I am almost not sure what to do after this. I have some notions, but money has become an issue. Even the purchase of a chainsaw and a ladder is dubious. For one, I do not purchase bottom dollar items. I do not by top dollar items either. What I like to do is research the items, look at variables, and make an informed reasonable decision. For example, with the chainsaw, how well does it cut, how much it weighs, whether it is balanced or how it is balanced and why that would be advantageous, cost, how easy it is to sharpen the blade and how much blades cost, and how simple the machine is to maintain. That is a whole passel of variables. There is, truly, no perfect purchase. There is only better for certain applications at a price point and lesser quality or higher price point. It is messy. The ladder... some review, talking to several people who know, discussions with a few sellers, but not as much investigation. Still, I am guessing I need two ladders. A story and a half step ladder and a two story extending ladder. I would guess the ladders could cost as much at $600 (more like $400), and the chainsaw... perhaps another $250 to $400. I have not looked, but... and that could be another $1,000.

Other things on my list include tracking the water supply in the house, tracking the electrical system, and diagramming those. It would be good to include as many components as possible too. Corners, tees, switches, valves, outlets, and all. This, at least, is free. However, it will require a lot of crawling around in questionable areas under the house. Before I get in too deep, I will make sure my cell phone works under there. Barring that, I may have to ask my friend to visit. The other thing I can add to my free list is checking out the hen house. Now, with wasp spray, I feel more comfortable checking those out. I have seen no wasps, but I have seen plenty of nests. I need to see if the hen house is worth spending money on. If I cannot afford an actual roof this year, I can afford thick plastic sheeting with the hopes of keeping it dry this winter. From what little I have seen, I think the thing is worth the work. But I need to know for sure. Money is becoming scarcer and I have to watch my step.

I had not realized how hot it was. That is why I did not understand why the weed whip up and quit earlier. It is still hot, even with cloud cover that has come over. If it is simply too hot, I might even have to call the rest of the work off today. We will see. I will just go out and get the tomatoes watered and see.

Hey, you know what though? This is amazing. Just go back a few years and read. There were times were I could not take care of grooming, could not stay up for more than a few hours at a time, could not think. Sure, this is relatively short term. Sure, this last winter I shut down for periods. But the level of work I am getting done, the daily chores I am doing, the care and tending of a pair of little friends, and the ongoing plans and such... This is very good. Another year of this, at this level and on, might really see me back in college. I will not go back unless I can actually stay awake, work regularly and heartily, and am in better physical condition than I am even now. This is very good.

Well, enough of my blathering. Work is on my mind. I need to sort it all out. That is what this whole post is about.

Good day!

Really late start.

.
.
Should have known. I did a lot yesterday and could not get to sleep until fairly late either. Still, I am up and at it. I woke at about 10:30. After an hour, though, I think I am about ready to do something. I called the chiropractor and... they did not have me scheduled. I know the doctor had set something up, so I am not sure what that is about. Still, the doctor will not be in tomorrow so they decided to put me it. I was able to schedule for just a bit later than what I had thought anyway, so I get a little extra time for work, shower, and then a cool down before I go.

I think I will start up the weed whip and get going with that soon. I do not think I can do the whole perimeter, but I can get a decent chunk of it. Ice water for mini breaks if I need them. Still, from what I have experienced, weed whipping is not an extreme lawn sport. Still, I have no idea yet how much I can really do per hour. I neither know the work that well, nor the area itself. I am hoping, after the appointment, to do boulders or the other dirt pile. I might even get both done. Whatever weed whipping remains will remain until my next day of work. That might be tomorrow, or it might end up being next Monday for all I know.

Tomorrow is a business heavy day. Bills, autopayment checking, the insurance company needs the pictures again as they sent black and white copies but the underwriter wants color copies (hmm, will get that done today), and I best find out where the electrician is on signing the paperwork for the insurance company. Perhaps he needs to look again. However, I certainly hope his work and inspection, with the requirements therein, match up with this. I would hate to think corners were cut. Would he cut corners with an insurance company if he was willing to do so with a federally mandated inspection, or to "allow" my purchase of faulty wiring? This all can get messy fast if things were not done correctly. I only offer that as a worrying possibility.

Well, on to some work. Have a good day.

Officially a good day.

.
.
I took my time about getting the salt in from the Xterra. I did take an hour or two to cool down. And then I got to work. One pile is all I could do for the day though. The pile was 8 by 5 by 3 1/2 feet at the peak. That pile was as much rock as dirt, littler rocks about the size of my fist or smaller. As I was finishing, I brought out a garden rake and that allowed me to get most of it up, including all but the tiniest of rocks. Actually, there are fewer rocks left in that area then what there are in the other areas. I put it right back where it had been taken from. Inspections can be such a huge waste, sometimes. One pile of "dirt" down. I still have one more pile of similar size. As well, I have a half dozen smaller boulders to move to the front lawn. I think I will make a front parking lane with them. There are holes in some of them which where created to be planters. That may end up being exactly what I use them for. The lawn is being watered, as well. The crops were watered right after that last post. I even remembered to fertilize the tomatoes, if a day late.

I do need a shower, in spite of knowing I will take one again tomorrow before leaving home. I just hate crawling into bed grungy. Further, I should not worry so much, since I will be changing sheets tomorrow. Whatever, a shower will feel great, will cool me down, and settle my mind about such things. I ought to cook something though I am not sure what. I need to make rice. I have beans. No meat is out, however. Then again, I already had meat earlier. Still, I think I will make the rice and just put that up, making plain cereal instead. Yes, that sounds like the way of it.

My goal is to get up early and call the chiropractor tomorrow. I am almost certain the appointment is at 14:00, but I need to check. If so, I will get to weed whipping. I do not want to start that before 9:00 or 10:00. It will still be cool enough and it will be less likely to be a bother to my neighbors. If I still have time, after a shower from that and with time remaining, I will begin checking on my bills. I have been trying to get them on automatic pay, but sometimes that takes a while, sometimes it does not always go through, and I wish not to be too late on too many things. After the appointment, I want to stop at Wal-Mart again, for smaller water sprayers, for the kitteh. She has to learn. Sprinkling with the fingers simply has lost the magic kitteh annoyance factor anyway. Hmmm, super soaker? Oh, that is a thought. *evil grins* After that, I will see if I have anything left. If I did not wake and get going fast enough to weed whip, I will do that. If I did, I might start on that other pile of dirt or the big rocks.

I will get things done this week. I think I can get everything, yardwise, on my list. If I remember, I will have to call the Mr. of the couple I now have dealings and try to set up a Saturday workday. A ladder would help me get some final painting finished and a chainsaw with that would allow me to try to figure out the tree trimming situation. This might end up being my best solo week ever since I have been disabled. And you know what, it will not stop there, I think.

Though from now on, I am planning to have swimming in the schedule, set up my weights and include them in my schedule, and set up my reloading kit and begin tinkering with it. I need to create layers of work, play, exercise, and business. I actually think this is coming around fairly well. Who knows, the next time my mother visits, she may not have to pull punches. Then again, she will have to sit with me and get both of us on the same page rather than merely leading the party as well. Oh, no, that was not a problem this time, at all. I simply did not know, so I asked her to be the brain of the thing, and this she did well. Next time, if I keep this up, I will be a bit more on the ball and will be able to be a part of the planning. I actually think, for the most part, she will like that.

Ah, I did a few extras today as well. I found a drop cloth for my piano, so it does not simply sit and collect dust. As well, I am doing laundry. I might get a load or three through, though I do not wish to push that. I will not stay up for laundry. Hmm, moving the sprinkler around will coincide nicely with the laundry if I do it on the hour marks. One last thing, I did not get the kitty litter cleaned out this morning. I have two large boxes, each enough for 3 cats if I wished to push it, so I probably do not need to do them daily. Still, it is much better if I do. And I need to sweep up. Sam is neat, but Stinkerbell has no clue, yet. Then again, she is almost doing gymnastics just to get in the boxes. It is funny about the kitten, she has eaten more, in the two weeks she has been here, than Sam has eaten sum total the whole time I have been feeding her. No problem, she needs a lot of food to grow and burns off calories like a chimp. I was surprised about it is all.

Well, I am off to figure out the water, laundry, make a little food, and watch a movie. Actually, you know what? Popcorn. I think I will simply make some popcorn. I will pull some meats out of the freezer though, too. Yes, that is the ticket.

Good night. Oh, hey, if you could add some prayers for Jean tonight, along with me and others, I would appreciate it. She is in a tough spot and is sorting things out. Help her as you may.

A late slow start.

.
.
I did not get showered, dressed, and on the road until about 13:00. I first went to DOT and changed the address on my driver's license. They merely put tape on the license with the new address written on it, to my knowledge. Perhaps they will send me another license. I could not change my registration to vote there, but they knew where I could go. After going and doing that, I asked about the county veterans office. I also went and found that. The representative was in a meeting, which was set to last until 17:00, so we set up an appointment for Thursday. After that, I drove to Wal-Mart. I had used the small camera I purchased last December to take pictures of the front and back of my home, for the insurance company. I used Wal-Marts self-serve photo center (for the first time) to process the photos. It was rather easy, with only one thing I had to figure out... you have to pass the code through first to get the system to process the pictures and then again to have the machine spit them out. I also purchased 8 bags of salt for the softener. Then, on my way home, I took the pictures and a blank check into my insurance company.

I did buy a meal at Wendy's. There fries are not my favorite, but I must admit their burgers are really good. The fries I got were fresh out of the cooker, and that did help as well. Beyond that, I love the way people around here are nice. They often go overboard to do a good job. And you know what, I love that. I like to think I would do that, but since I do not do anything, I do not. Ha! I can only hope it is the thought that counts?

I still have to get the salt down to the basement. Being in the 90's, I will not be doing a lot of work right now. However, I am still considering working on the piles of dirt this evening. Tomorrow I am having to go in to my chiropractor for a review. Thankfully, I have nothing to remember. I am doing a lot better, physically, but we will see. I am a bit nervous, because Monday was so very harsh. I am still recovering from whatever that was. We will see though. I think my appointment tomorrow is at 14:00, though I will get up early and call to be sure. If so, I may do some weed whipping early while it is cool. Other than the salt and dirt moving, I plan on moving the sprinkler around the yard again tonight, after I water the tomatoes.

I hate it when I cannot get done what I need to do, whether it is my fault or not. My list gets rearranged and I have to figure out how things will work together after that. Today's failure is no one's fault. I am waiting for the appointment with the veterans advocate to figure out where to go both with home and auto tax work, and of course the rebate. They might all, or some of them, end up finding me needing something from the advocate's office and at the same office altogether. I just have to wait but keep it on my list too. It will work.

To the salt, then some cool down time, and then hopefully the wheelbarrow will be used for the first time. Oh, I had best get the tomatoes watered too. Good day!

Up and going.

.
.
Not exactly a bull out of the shoot, but better than I have done for a while. Sam wanted out early, or... I wanted her out. She is definitely female. She wakes me up by pestering me for... however long. Then, when I get up, put on enough clothes that I will not be arrested if someone is watching and I head to the door. What does she do? She all of a sudden, after a half hour of pestering me awake, or again and this time, needs food, water, and a potty break. Five minutes later, she saunters out like I should be happy with her wise choices. That did not wake me up, it just started the ball rolling toward waking up. I decided to let the kitten in this morning, for the first time, after Sam headed out. She has no off button. With the bell on, and her rambunctious nature, I kept dreaming of Christmas! A bit before 10:00, Sassy went into a full flight hissy fit at something. I almost thought Sam had gotten back in and was hunting the kitten. Nope, just Sassy being a fruit cake. She is going to have to be made to realize that my finger and toe nails do NOT PROVIDE MILK. Then again, Sam somehow still thinks my earlobes might be good for that.

Oh, something I remembered about television in this last week... it is a complete waste of time. There is nothing it offers that teaches or informs or entertains at a reasonable speed. If one wishes to sit and drool, it is the perfect device. Though may I also recommend thorazine? The pairing is remarkable. Add in commercials and it is complete. To think people pay good money for that. I doubt if I will watch it again soon. Although, I now know why we have so many Democrats, Socialists, and such (all the same to me). I would guess though that television is merely an expression or example, being a cause only to the otherwise uninvolved and uneducated. The internet really is the way to go. I might have to actually read something, I might have to tie things together, I might have to remember a few names, affiliations, and a few other things... but, how can you say you know the news by watching someone tell you something they probably and often do not understand? You do realize the news is brought to you by, essentially, actors... right? Read your news and other information. You can actually check the logic of what is given you instead of looking at boobies while drooling and then thinking you are informed. Fox news is the best out there and it is idiocy.

I need to find some paperwork and some photos. I do not wish to give the photos in, so I will get copies. I have decided that going in to Logan first is the way to start. I will take my V.A. paperwork and register at the county office for veterans. There I might find out about taxes and the home rebate. Which I will track down from there, or wait until after lunch if the timing is wrong. The DOT is the next stop, for a change of license and voter registration data. Next I will buy some salt in town, 8 bags should see me with plenty for a goodly bit. And, finally, on the way back, I will stop at my insurance company with a canceled check, a couple of photos, and perhaps more news. Oh, yes, I suppose I should find out what has happened with the electrician regarding that paper I faxed to him. I did not think it had an address or phone number on it to send it on. I cannot find the paper so I am not exactly sure.

Anyway, if I get these things done, I am hoping that I will be able to move one or both piles of dirt this afternoon. I may be shooting for far too much. Running around Logan in 90 plus F weather, shopping, and dealing with a bunch of strangers about a ton of things, and the lines, all independently have a way of tearing me down. Perhaps I am being ambitious. Perhaps I cannot do it. But all written here is merely a hope. As I learn to work, learn my limits, and do more, I may someday have a better idea of what can be done. Then again, as a confirmed knothead, that may never happen.

Well, I best get off my butt and going. I still have a few things to find here at home, a shower and shave most likely, Sam to call in, and then a bit of a day of running and jumping. Good luck with your stuff.

Really tough day!

.
.
I woke okay. I also woke with a world wide headache. I do not think it was, completely, the beer. I do not believe alcohol played more of a part than being a fast sugar fix. I had also had sugar at dinner, too much. And, I have been finishing off the sugary stuff purchased during my mother's visit. I think I toxed bad. I was moving too slow and harhsly to do more than suffer through my appointment and return home. It was also really hot today, though that may have been in part due to my reaction to the sugar spike. Very tough day. Thankfully, I am pretty much out of sugar. A few aspirin, well a handful of aspirin, well several handfuls, moving very slowly, and I am almost feeling human tonight.

I did a little straightening, made some late lunch and then late dinner, and have been watering the lawn. Little else could be done. I have not had a migraine this bad in a long while. Two straight doses of aspirin to begin to tame the thing. I had wondered if I was simply "out", so that the chiropractor work would fix it. I was really out, but that was not the whole picture. Yep, sugar high probably caused me to sleep too deep, thus still. You have to love it when you crash and then burn? Ha!

Something I noticed today was that I probably had worked pretty hard physically while my mother was here. Though I knew I worked long, I did not think any of the work was really hard. However, I see the muscle gain now a lot more plainly. As well, veins are now becoming much more apparent on my hands, forearms, and to a lesser degree on my upper arms. I would not say that I am now chiseled. But the gains are decent. I also note that I bruised myself extremely deeply shortly before my mother arrived. I did not really think it was much then, but the inner part of that bruise is just now blooming on my left forearm. It is coming out like a 4 to 5 inch dark rose. I still have no idea what I bumped into, dropped on it, or whatever.

I really have to dig in. I am taking a small handful of Tylenol tonight, going to bed a bit early, setting two alarms for no later than 8:30, and trying to get it in my mind to get up and get going tomorrow. I have business I want to tend. I need to find some pictures (of the front and back of my house) for the insurance company. I need to take those and a blank check to initiate automatic pay on insurance. I then want to go on in to Logan and talk to someone about changing my driver's license and voter information, and find out about the tax rebate and whether as a vet I have a tax exemption. I also need to pick up salt for the water softener. If I get most of that (insurance part is vital), and I return home with a little spit in my polish, I hope to move the dirt piles.

Hey, it might not happen. Simply put, life is hard and I am broken. But I have to keep the goals fresh, keep trying, and go at it when able. I have to assume I can dig in again tomorrow. It is all I have, today is gone. I know tomorrow will be hot again (though that may just be a sugar issue, or not?). I am hoping to have the weed whipping done soon too. And I need to get those big rocks moved to the front yard, or wherever. I am not sure, yet, what to do with the piles of branches and other such. But I might have figured out how to treat next years garden spots. The fellow who is cutting the alfalfa has not paid me for that yet. Instead of pay, I might ask if he could disc those areas, plowing in goat, chicken, horse, or such dung richly and deeply this fall. I cannot be sure the deal works to my advantage. But the truth is, with personal trades, it often simply comes down to "good enough". Horse trading comes with practice and use. Perhaps it would be a great deal, in "real terms", or not. But it is what I need and he already has the goods from my part. Wish me luck? On all of it.

Oh yeah, while I was shooting, I picked up 1k .22 long rifle and 400 .22 shorts (excellent at close range... quiet and accurate as heck). I may get another 1k before the month is out. As well, I picked up 12 medium sized boxes of strike anywhere matches, they were on sale. I had been looking for those anyway, and not finding them. So finding them, and lot of them, and then on sale... A no-brainer. I am keeping my eyes out for tradeables and usables. I have a heck of a collection, if there is a very eclectic and disordered nature to it. I just... do not have what it takes to run this thing with military precision. Come on, I have trouble knowing my name... or getting on simple projects, moving, or taking care of simple business. Honestly. I will get there.

I am going to hit it. For as easy a day as it has been, it has been one of the toughest days I have had in a long time. Good night.