As I chill...

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Oh, foam, I seem to have caught your curse.  It has been three days for this headache now.  Sometimes, when really busy, I don't notice it.  When I stop to catch my breath, bang!  It's not strong enough to cause an upset stomach, I don't need low light if I generally prefer that, and it isn't the worst I've had.  But it is always with me.  Now, I know what the problem is.  There is little I can do about it.  It is from lack of sleep.  Six hours, max to be honest, the last two or three nights.  It isn't even all the hubbub and doings.  Those help me forget for a while.  Tonight I will get in some decent sleep.  It might take a few days of good sleep to get rid of this though.

I am cooling off well.  It is wonderful, too.  The headache sort of has me down, but I think when I catch my breath fully from this morning, and as the evening draws cool in, I will find my way to more sorting, storing, working, and shuffling of this and that.  My over-glasses goggles showed up.  I was worried that they might not.  The "possible delivery date", posted online, went from Aug 15th, to September 1-7, then on to the 19th.  I really didn't know if I would get it.  White clown face paint arrived.  I simply couldn't afford the good glow in the dark stuff.  I did buy some standard stuff, and some cheapo black light stuff, and some standard face paint.  It will just have to do.  I might play with some of it tonight, to get a feel for how well it goes on, how easy it is to do a few designs, and just get used to the stuff and then on my particular face.  Oh, and I bought some stuff that will keep it on the face.  Next year, perhaps, without bedding, and a ton of other equipment I have bought, I can focus more on that end of things.

Ugh.  I think I am going to surrender, though, and take extra aspirin.  It is all I am supposed to take, and now that I am on a train I can handle, and am improving so can toss some trust into the gig, I'll... try to keep to more of the doctors orders.  Hmm...  I wonder if the wine is ready.  Oh, that would be splendid with face painting!

Well, did I get it all done?

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Uhrm, you tell me.  I forgot to make a list and probably would have forgotten it if I did.  *laughs*  Oh, but I sure plan to plan, and make a list of lists to make.  I do, I twuly do!  I found the list I posted here and I'll go down the list.  Now, realize, I got a late start.  No surprise, going to bed at 2:00 and expecting to be out by 9:00 is stretching it further than I usually can, by a long shot.  I was only an half hour late, and I called before I would have been late.  No problem, they just pushed it up to 9:30, which I barely made.

That list grows, and this time I will include non-purchase tasks; check deposit, oil change/inspection, turning over the KoC jewels (which I just located and set with the check, and where I will be putting ice chests before long for ease on the memory in the morning), paraffin, drink and mixer, coffee beans, auto plates, and finally regular ice.  Added: tool to get the old/broken kickstand off.  Ackh!  And add a gallon of white gas.  Oh, well, there are some exceptions.  I can get paraffin tomorrow, and maybe see who else might carry white gas, just a bit of it.

I didn't get mixer, save Kahlúa, a pseudo mixer.  I would really like margaritas, but...  As noted, and again, I forgot the paraffin.  I did check for white gas at two places to no good ends but I did buy a little bottle for it.  I will simply have to hope it works as I don't want the lesser fuels to junk up the works in the interim.  As for the bike tool...  I could not find anything exact.  But I did find larger hex keys.  I purchased a two set group, SAE and MM, just because this bike is a basket case and seems to have both.  I had no way of telling which would, or might, work.  Bleh.

As well, I got in a 10 block hike.  When she was in for an oil change I got them to deliver me downtown to buy coffee.  I decided just to stretch my legs and return.  It might not be 110 out there, but I am guessing it was at least 90.  On  the way back I saw a fellow who seemed local, so I asked him about dry ice.  He suggested either Smith's, a local grocer, or the other place I had suggested.  He also told me where it was.  It seems I had, in my failure to write the address down, transferred east and west and north and south so that where I was looking was juxtaposed to the actual position of the shop.   Irritating though that may be, I love when I make a mistake that is so... to me... mathematically or geometrically... clean.  Yum!  Other than that I just stormed the streets.  Oh, wait, I did stop into the store in question, as it was on the way.  They do indeed carry dry ice.  On my way out of town I will be stopping there.  Actually, I think the day before.  They are a 24 hour shop, it's just when I start I want to go.

I was rather crafty with how I did things.  The events were planned out.  At the oil shop I also ran for coffee, at the tire rotation shop it worked out that I could turn over the jewels or I would have done something else.  And I was as efficient as I could be as to locations.  It was truly a sweet deal.  I was done, and having a burger as I didn't want to cook but needed food, by 12:30~13:00.  I have stuff to cook or just heat up for later tonight.

Okay, I didn't do too badly.  Tags have been updated.  If I don't do it right then it might not get done for... a while.  Yea... not bad at all.  I also grabbed a mirror for the bike, another patch kit (one for with the bike saddle pocket, one for in camp),  two rolls of duct tape, and a couple of plackets of the better paper plates.  No paper cups could be found.  And I stopped at the post office on the way home and grabbed what packages where in there.  Nothing here at home, but the MRE's were in yesterday, if you can believe it.  Damn.  I'm almost thinking this thing will slip off like clockwork, give or take, and considering it is me.

It was a darned good thing the extra money came in though.  I haven't nubbed out my allowance, but with road gas and lodging, and maybe a few incidentals in between and beyond maybe, it will be tight.  There have been expenses I hadn't accounted for, extras I needed but didn't think about until into projects, and just... nibble, bite, sting, here there and everywhere.  Yowzas!  Oh, and I still have dry ice, fuel, hotels, and... travel foods and such if I want.  Though I might just go with MRE's on the road.  Bleh, but...  Beats the dry, foiled, lemon wax survival food.  By a lot.  I will have a couple of bars of that, too.  If nothing else people who have never tried it can get a taste.  Yum in a yuck way!  Hmm, and no contact lenses, at least yet.  I'll just have to make my four remaining trial pairs last.  Or...  I'm thinking on it.  Depends on if they have them in stock, though, too.  No reason to order if they won't be here in time.  At $70 a month....  Hmm...  Thinking.  See?  *nibbles*  Later.

Oh, right, one last thing.  While buying liquid refreshments I thought, for all my bad deeds, a bottle of Riesling and a bottle of port sounded about right.  I think I will enjoy the evening.  Though if I get to the point where I am able to use either bottle as a telescope type thing, I probably will avoid blogging.  Lets just call it the night of the werewolf and leave it at that.  Good, bad, and ugly, you got to admit, even if just once in a while, I can lay it down as if I was still alive, innit.

Pushing it.

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I didn't get the bike tire off.  Mentally frustrated with the kickstand, oddly.  Though it's not like that has stopped the rest of the work.  My last load is in the wash, I dried the dishes if some remain to be put away, I found my stove but not the canister, so I will buy a new one of those with some fuel.  I have a spare part kit, bought it all together as is my want, if it happens to be needed.  And, yeah, it's a Whisper, multi-fuel, taking white gas, gasoline, kerosine, or diesel.  With the kit was a small cooking pot and steel can/cup and the a four by three piece set of Lexan, I believe.  I have some metal, which I might take as well.  Steak and Lexan really don't mix well.  I should add paper plates and cups to the list.  Burnable.

Oh, that isn't all I have done or been doing.  Just... the things I said I would do so I'm listing them.  The ice chests were a bit... rough.  They just need washed.  They are soaking now, and after I put the last load into the dryer I will then tend those.  Ugh, piles of piles of things, stacks here, groupings there, plastic bags partially filled here and there.  Annoying, but sort of exciting too.  Ah, I best make some lists for tomorrow.  I am going to have to hope the list will keep me on track.  If I start forgetting, reality drifts away and I just want to be home.  If I know what I am doing, it's in black and white, then the chances of it getting done, even after I exhaust myself, are much increased.

I haven't heard back about the vest, whether they will send it expedited or not.  Then again it might already have been out the door.  Hard to know.  I never did find the engineering boots.  My guess is my mother didn't like the looks of them and tossed them.  No, she wouldn't remember.  A women learns to forget when she does something she wants done but which will be unpopular.  No fuss.  I just had to order a new pair rather than buff out the old.  I couldn't find high ones, but I found a pair I could live with.  The only down side is they have zippers.  The world has gone so very lame.  Those, my hiking boots, camp boots for inside, and maybe another pair of something or others or two.  Bleh.  Shoes just aren't my thing.  I only have so many because I never throw them away and I am only taking so many in case I need to dry something out, well, and a bit for show/sport.  Bleh.

Tired, so very very tired.  Bits and pieces, here and there, coming together or being planned.  That headache has been hounding me all day, just... back there.  Sometimes I've been so busy I didn't notice.  Light though.  I'm wondering if I'm catching foam's disorder!  I didn't even get a kiss!  :p 

Yes...  goodnight. 

So many things today.

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Yeah, well, I received information that the vest was mailed to the wrong address, somehow.  So, they offered a 15% discount and want to resend it.  I let them know when I needed it, and asked if they would use the discount to send it via a faster delivery method.  It is useless to me if it is cheaper but unavailable for where and when I need it. 

I also received, or noticed, the invitation to join as a common blog author.  I took up the offer, but being short on time, I did as they suggested and ported a few of my posts for their perusal.  One about organics and such, one about Cohen and some of his songs.  We will see.  I sort of felt rushed, as I was pretty sure I wanted to dance that dance but wasn't sure about time.  The email suggested a ten day window, in spite of me letting them know of my time crunch.  Never the who, I just jumped and ran.  One of them needs a bit of time distortion editing, the other should be fine as is.  If they post one of them I should then be let in to edit as needed.  From what I have seen, anything I send over that way from here will have to be edited.  Some of what I write is okay, but it's mixed with personal weeds, or is dated, or such. 

Hmm, every time I get up to go I check something first, get a call, need to act and end up... lost.  Oh, but never worry.  I will get to a few more things before I pirouette into sleep.  It isn't as graceful as those fours... they are wearing two two's, right?  Anywhile.  Later.

More of it coming together.

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I was cooking in here.  I finally realized I wouldn't get a thing done without some ac so I kicked that on.  While up I heated the rinse, put laundry together and put the first load in, emptied the water just and left them open to dry.  I can only find five, might have to buy a few more.  One did burst though.  Forty gallons would require eight of them.  Are we taking 40 gallons each?  Let me see, forty divided by seven is five and change gallons per day.  That's not an awful amount, assuming it fits by weight and volume.  That will be the heaviest grouping of items, the water tanks.  Hmm, a gallon weighs 8.35 pounds, times 10 is 83.5, times 4 is 344 pounds, times 2 is 688 pounds.  We have both of our carcasses, which adds to 500# (minus a bit), so that is 1188# right there.  The Xt'er can haul, I believe, around 900# total weight.  The trailer is said to be limited to 1,000#.  I think it is reasonable to try to take that much.  I doubt if my clothes and gear will be more than 200#, maybe 250# with food, absolutely max.  I have to guess D.C.'s kit will be similar.  But there is, technically, room for 712# over the water.  I don't know, it will shake out in the loading.

I have gathered my bike kit and tools.  I also split out some tools for the road.  After changing laundry, then drying the dishes, I will begin making a few lists.  The first one is for what is needed in town tomorrow.  That list grows, and this time I will include non-purchase tasks; check deposit, oil change/inspection, turning over the KoC jewels (which I just located and set with the check, and where I will be putting ice chests before long for ease on the memory in the morning), paraffin, drink and mixer, coffee beans, auto plates, and finally regular ice.  Added: tool to get the old/broken kickstand off.  Ackh!  And add a gallon of white gas.   Hmm, while resting just a bit, I will look for the stove, while I am thinking about it and before I forget.  Bah!!!  Something along that order of events, as well.  I might even get them to drive me downtown to do some shopping while I wait for the various tasks, perhaps at both the oil and tire shops.  Sometimes they can, sometimes not so much.

Let me see, Saturday I will be going in to get my friend downtown.  If he has gotten a ride for that already I will see what else he wants to do.  It would be a good day to look for dry ice, just to find the place.  I looked last time I was in town but I didn't see it when driving through the area.  He might even know where to go.  He... knows a lot.  Not all, but that is his back yard and he ain't no slouch.

Sunday I have to be showered, dressed, and out by 9:30.  They are just going to have to deal with the deathhawk, minus the side fringe sissy looking things.  I just wouldn't go there.  Not my gig.  Then Monday I have to be in early enough to get my friend, maybe have lunch, then get in for a final trim.  I think I am going to get rid of the extra I had her leave on last time.  It'll just be a tire track haircut, not a partial mohawk as is.  Yea...

All the little times in between here and there and this and that I will be sorting, washing, filling, packing, or setting aside for my return.  A bit of cleaning as I can.  Oh, and I have to get the front tire off the bike today so as to test the bike carrier in a less critical way, all else fails I have the room to take it off and put it in the back, something not easily possible on the long road.  Plus... I need a tool to get the old kickstand off.  Gah!  Still, it's coming together as well as I could have hoped.  The goal is to be zipped up and ready to roll by Tuesday morning, afternoon at the latest, and maybe just do some light cleaning, perhaps some plumbing, and more or less relaxing into the early morning rollout Thursday.  The original goal was to be ready Monday but... well, we will see.  Yum-deliche!  Oh, I best check the mail tonight.  The box might be quite full.

Well?

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Okay, 99% of my time, more really, is free.  I have been neglecting my friends, associates, and associations more profoundly than usual, but I honestly can't quite keep up on everything.  I missed the last KoC meeting, and I did want to be there.  Again, though, no call, email, or text.  And, yes, I get lost down my various rabbit holes, so a reminder is good, if even then I can't always make it.  Still, without the offer I don't always have a way to take the opportunity.  Never mind.  After having let it be known, I take it that this is planned, not accidental.  Fair enough.

I got a call from my friend.  He wanted me to go in today, but I am trying to get my list done.  And while I will be in Friday, I have so much to do I am not... sure... even about getting done what I want done.  Saturday isn't planned, so I offered that day.  Anything I miss Friday can be caught on Saturday, as well.  If... Ugh!  Yeah, I feel like a rat bastard about not being able to be in today after such negligence, but I do what I can.  Well, and I will be in Monday for a hair cut.  I asked if he needed one.  Yes, indeed.  So I will arrive a bit early, go for lunch with him, and then we will head in a bit early even to the shop, or that is the plan.  Fine, so I get back to ignoring my duties for today and... another call.

I still have the jewels for the KoC.  There is a new officer holding my old pseudo position, and there is an event coming up which will require the jewels.  He is the new keeper of the jewels.  So be it.  But, then to figure out when and where to get him the jewels.  He talked about today, but that it would be tight.  He could have come out here, but he was trying to do this and that on top of everything else he had going today.  I suggested that I will be in town tomorrow.  Okay, but he has something in the morning, but will be off otherwise.  Perfect.  I only have the 9:00 oil and inspection thing, the rest is loose change, timewise.  So, another thing to do tomorrow.  Yep.

Oh, and there is a KoC swearing in ceremony at Church this Sunday.  Mass starts at 10:00, but we are gathering to do a rosary at 9:30.  And while I may not seemingly be wanted, I am a member, and if I know, I will do my damnedest to be there.  A pin indicating membership as well.  One more thing, but duty calls.  It is part of why I joined if my efforts have been lackluster.  Still, as I keep reminding myself, not bad for a dead man walking.  I do need to remember that.

All good.  I suppose when God sees you are busy, He takes the onus of handing more to those with talents, even if temporarily.  I take that challenge and add three more things myself?  *grins*  Who wants a Father that doesn't ask for more?  It seems good in the short run, but in the long run it is the one who demands who will create other masters, not the one who merely allows, indulges, coddles.  He is a Father after my own heart.  Between His pushing and my honest endeavors, if alternative attempts at finding the way, I have found my way to my knees.  I'm... quite surprisingly content there.  When He calls me to stand, I will do that.  As He wills it.  My ability will be within that, even if it hurts.  Pain?  I know how to deal with pain.  Offering that to the souls in purgatory.  Bleeding for the suffering.  Not like Christ, save as well as men can do, but I learned from His Offering, I did do that.  If I had to say, I would guess if that works then I have freed many a soul, and happily.  Well, happy that the pain is neither wasted on them, there, and that it has taught me much as well, and here.  Happiness isn't always giddy or even seemingly pleasurable.  Comfort is for the dead.  Only my flesh is... mostly... dead.  I live quite strongly.

Yeah, okay, I best get to getting to what I've been not getting to?  Yes!  Later.

Sometimes words can't cut it.

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No, not the future, hopefully.  Uhrm, mostly.  A past.  How to keep it there...  Some things words just don't, can't, convey.  So...  I present the facts in music and vid.  Had to pull out the big guns for this one.  Run from her(s)?  Indeed.  Mostly.

Bonjour.

To bed late and up late.

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With six hours of sleep I am just almost on the edge of grumpy with a minor headache.  I'm not going to let that stop me, can't.  I didn't get to laundry, so that will go forward.  Then I will tend the dishes that are rinsed.  Next that bike tire and figuring out the roof luggage.  I did, while messing with the Xt'er, look through the manual.  The crossbars can indeed be relocated, even removed, from the luggage rack.  The tool is included, and is in a tool kit in one of the stow compartments, though I'll check for that.  It's a damned star drive, so I hope it is there.  The only way to be sure to get the right star drive, otherwise, is to buy a whole kit.  Damned monstrosities if you ask me.  Unnecessary, probably started out as proprietary then union rules fucked us with them forever as part of manufacturing.  If I get those things done in a timely fashion, then I will do general sorting and packing later in the day.

I am hoping to have the bike set up and the bike rack installed for my run into town tomorrow.  I will also take it into town when I go for the trim, Monday.  I can't keep the luggage bag in place, as it doesn't fit the garrage, so that will have to be packed right as I am leaving.  Actually, since I will be leaving in the early morning, I might just set that up when I pack everything in the evening before going, then leave it parked and ready to go.  Yeah, that might be the better of plans.

I still have to figure out the kilt, what, and how much to trim, both for length and width, whichever those are for a kilt.  Never mind, doesn't technically matter.  I need to purchase a few libations, and what else?  Dry ice the day before I leave I suppose, but before that?  I can get regular ice.  I need to deposit that check.  Oh...  So much...  I know there are other things.  Ah!  I need to find the camp stove and find out what fuels I need and where... Wait... I should check to see if D.C. is buying a gallon of the stuff.  I am pretty sure white gas will work and that, I believe, is what he was planning to buy.  Oh, and paraffin, I do need that as well.  Cripes, I best get more on the ball.  I'll be making a shopping and to do list, with some order to it, today!  And maybe a pack list check sheet.  Having so much time but so little energy and focus...  well... it's like trying to collect water with only one arm or something.  Hey, this exercise is excellent for me though.  Hopefully the process smooths with practice.  After doing this, smaller ventures might... be more likely to happen.  Hmm, check deposit, regular ice, paraffin, drink and mixer, coffee beans, auto plates...  That I can think of...  A list here helps.  I best take a cooler or two in for the ice.  No need to have it melt any more than it already will on the way home.  Block ice lasts longer, cools slower, but also takes a lot of space.  I haven't seen block ice around, though, either.  Hmm...  I'll... think on things on the way.  Friday is going to be a very long day in town.

Oh, just... twitching as I try to quicken and do.  Not bad though, really.  I'm surprised how well it is going to be perfectly honest.  Oh, I'll make huge errors, miss things, and such.  I am sure.  As I said the whole thing is about limiting, having enough that if I miss something perhaps I will be able to share out something I have extra of in order to 'karmically' get what I need.  Best case I simply become a go-to guy for kit and such.  Hmm, thinking on that, I best get an auto and bike tool kit going, actually two of them.  One for on the bike, one for mostly the auto.  Nothing fancy, all small, perfectly useful and portable.  Bleh.  Lists of lists to organize the lists of things.  At least the lists don't need to be alphabetical, if that, in some cases, might help?  Gah!  *laughing bear fur down to the shiny*

Bits and pieces.

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I cleaned out the Xt'er.  I thought that was going to take an hour or two, but... I am neater than I thought.  If it took five minutes it was because I was looking through a few things.  Good thing I did.  There was something from some credit looking company, but it was very non-descript, like so much other junk mail.  If it had arrived in a group I might never have gotten to it.  Hmm, on top of returning my last payment I just received a refund from my last mortgage holder.  It's almost as big as the utility check.  Okay, so I'll cash that when I go in, send my mother a couple of quacks, and now I can plan on purchasing the wheat grinder upon my return.  The rest of the leftover money will go right back to the loan.  Uhrm, unless someone out there has a more enticing notion?  :p

I don't have the tire off the bike yet.  But I did check the pump, and the tires actually.  They still hold air and the pump puts it out.  I checked the lights, they still work.  I will need to check about how to open them up to find out what kind of batteries they take.  Those have been in there since I got the bike, or very shortly thereafter.  I doubt if the batteries will last much longer.  I tried to put the new kickstand on.  In the pseudo dark of dusk, with only the porch light and a small flashlight to attempt to make sense of things, it took me a bit to realize the damn thing isn't removed using sockets and wrenches.  As it it takes some sort of hex screw driver thing that is bigger than a 1/4, smaller than a 1/2, drive.  Bleh.  Still, if I can find it, it is another tool.  Unfortunately one that will be used to take something off and probably never used again.  If there was another way I would find it.  Simply no other tool will work and I can't see how to... improvise a fix.  I could try to wedge something in, and maybe glue it.  But it would have to be something I could use a socket or wrench on.  I suppose a bolt would do, though I don't think it would have what is needed to hold, no matter the glue.

I had hoped to take a ride down to the post office to get my mail tonight.  Then I realized I wouldn't be out and about without a shower, and further I don't think I could ferry the packages back easily on the bike.  The lack of a kickstand I can work with.  And there are lights.  Still, I kicked off and sped down the driveway and back, just to... see.  I think I am in much better shape this year than last, if that was a very short ride.  Still, it is getting used to the saddle that will bust my mackerels.  I absolutely hate bike seats, I have decided.  I guess I will just have to pucker up or stand and pedal.  Youch!  I suppose I just don't want to become a hardass?  More of one?  Branch out in a new direction on that?  :p

Oh, right, a load of laundry in, then some dishes, or a rest and then some dishes.  A couple of loads is the goal.  A late start, a slow go, but... it's coming together.  Yum!

Some days just work out.

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I'm about to finish the dishes, after a bite to eat.  Then I plan on emptying the Xterra and working on the bike.  Without ac today I still feel cool.  Then again I haven't stepped a foot out of doors, mostly.  Ah, the successes?  First, knowing my brother is sending my mother some money shortly.  Well, and an enjoyable conversation with my brother.  And then another plan came together.  I wanted to call the neighbors, to see if they could use some mostly shredded pork.  I thought about calling at 15:00, but then thought he might still be at work.  Perhaps 16:00?  I think it was a little later, I simply lost track.  As it turned out the meat would be quite welcome AND he was heading through town right about then, so it wasn't even an extra trip.  I gave them most of it.  With seven mouths, considering the mum is off and away, I gave most of it.  I kept just one smaller portion for myself, which is warming as I speak.  Heh...  As I told him, I rarely get the chance to feed others.  He was quite pleased himself.  All very good.

Yes, the auto, then the bike, right after a bite.  Later.

Today?

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Going to bed at 4:00 led to waking at 9:30 to 10:00.  It could have been much worse.  Reasonably I could have slept until noon.  I keep thinking I ought to take a down day, literally doing little or nothing.  The problem is I don't think that will help me feel more rested and it could turn into a true rut.  As is my rut is that there isn't order to my work.  I make a plan and it doesn't get followed.  The stupid help can't or won't read!  Truth of the matter is that, when I start something, actually seeing it through to completion means doing things that become visible only while doing the task.  It's like the idea of cutting a limb high on a tree.  Okay, you just cut it, right?  Well, no.  First you need to get to that branch.  If the tree doesn't offer easy access then ropes, ladder, mix, or even something else, must be used to get to the branch.  Ah, but is the saw in order?  Is there fuel, oil?  Alright, so the limb finally comes down.  But now you have a tree limb in your yard.  No job, almost no job, is as simple as doing it then being done.  Why find something, for example, without putting it with other things like it so as to not simply lose it again?  Well, and you can end up fiddling with minor organization while doing that.

Oh, right.  First thing though, a call to try to arrange an oil change and a tire rotation on the same day, hopefully Friday.  Hmm, and I best look over what I need from town again.  With the oil change I will plan an inspection, and with that I will get my plates renewed.  I've got another year on my driver's license, so one less hassle.

Talking to my mother I found out she is low on money.  I simply don't want to risk money right now.  Next month, if all looks as it does from this side of things, I should be able to fire a dough rocket her way.  However, I can call my brother and see if he could shoot her some liquidity.  If she gets back on her feet she is good, it's just some car expenses have her seeing red.  I don't know if he will do it, I doubt if he will like being asked, but... that's the kind of son I am.  If I can't do it one way, I will try another.  And it's not like I am asking him to do something I haven't, would not if simply and safely optional, or even will be doing in a month or two.  Can't give her too much money, she will just spend it.  That sounds harsh, and maybe it is, but...  Keeping her afloat when she has legitimate expenses though, that is fine.  I simply don't have enough to give much, there isn't enough to split out.  A total vacation expenditure, since I have been retired, of perhaps four thousand dollars, over 20 years, most of it on my last trip.  Some of it just gas to and from parks back when I had a wilderness wanderer as a guide.  This trip, with gas, will be, maybe, $1,200-$1,500 depending on what gas actually ends up costing, at the very most, and at least a quarter of that is gear I should have had as a prepper anyway.

Hmm, well... a few calls, then back to organizing, packing, dishes, and whatever else pops up.  Oh, the pulled pork was good.  I had a couple of small stacked sandwiches this morning.  It's nothing special just not bad and it will do.  Sans sauce of any kind.  I wanted to see what the meat is about before ever thinking of rubs or sauces.

Good day.

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Brother isn't answering.  Hmm, might try the home phone.  The tire shop said I could bring it in any time and that it takes an half hour.  The oil/inspection shop set up an appoitment... 9:00!  Ah well, that will get that stuff out of the way so that I can get the plates and do some last minute shopping without too much of a rush, and be back in time to... probably not do much else, if that isn't the point.  Yeah, I'll try the other number I have for my brother.  It's weird, I'm just not sure I am welcome to use that, is all.  Then again, we all say things we prefer, without meaning to limit strictly, and yet other people take those little quips so seriously.  The world is a mess.  *grins*
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Yep yep, he answered the other phone.  And, it sounds like he is already on the program.  Between us we should be able to get mom going again.  If you can't catch a man, at least have children.  Teach em' hard but true, and in time they will return.  It's the only investment some can make, she did what she could and it is paying off.  Wish we could do more but the reality is what it is.

The dishes are in their final soak.  Next to put in some laundry.  And then maybe get that tire off since Friday is on for a drive.  Oh, and I should completely empty and clean the inside of the Xt'er, while thinking about things.  Three more packages arrived today.  Still no soak vest.  Bleh.  Later.

Up late, but for good reason.

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After cooking, I set the grill to go lower, temp wise.  After it hit the general temp I wanted, I put the pork roast in.  Well, it took a while.  I expected it would so this isn't a problem.  I am letting it rest now, for an hour, then I will try to turn it into pulled pork.  No, I didn't use a rub and I won't be using a sauce.  Just meat.  Great?  Well, it will do.  As I suggested, I will offer some of it to one of my neighbors.  It should come in handy with the Mrs. missing.  If she is back, it is one less thing for her to mess with for a meal.  I have no idea how many such a roast can feed.  It's plenty more than I could possibly eat though.

I just had to try it.  Ugh... so much to do, I probably shouldn't have messed with this at this time.  Especially at the pace I am forced to usually take.  It had to be cooked, at this point.  And so it has been.  I really can't wait to, eventually, try brisket on it.  Preferably a smaller one though. 

I had planned to a bit of research but I lost track of what I was going to investigate.  Oh well.  Good night.

It is coming together.

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A bit hot, again, today.  Even with the ac.  I wish I could nap in the cool but unless sleep can happen and I feel the need I can't make it happen.  Some of the clothing has been bagged.  I think I will just have a couple of bags of standard clothing, one small bag for a homeward bound outfit, and another bag for my cold weather gear.  It won't keep it perfectly dust free, save the home bound outfit, but it will keep it freer of dust than otherwise.  Yeah, I need to do some laundry.

I have steaks and hamburgers ready to go.  They should be bricks by now.  Hmm, three by two packs of steaks and four or five by two packs of hamburgers.  Actually I have another four by two hamburger pack I may take.  Those can always just be grilled and broken up into other food, or even cooked and stored, or offered to some hungry looking fool who it too tired to cook.  I don't precook and store steak but I will with hamburgers.  I bought a inexpensive burger press and it worked very well.  I just grilled a couple of the burgers and I've got to tell you, they are much better flame grilled than cooked on the infrared grill.  And they cooked up very fast.  The infrared grill merely cooks them, it doesn't add anything.  Which is fine, sometimes.

I have to finish the last of the dishes, and perhaps do a load of laundry or two yet tonight.  I am also thinking of finally putting the pork roast in.  I won't fuss with it too much, just let it cook low and slow through the night.  I've been fiddling with this that that, none of the big jobs mostly.  And I will have to rearrange some of the clothing I have packed, as it is just going in randomly, at this point.  Just to clear some space and secure some of the clothes I am taking for sure.  A couple of pair of jeans, a pair of zip-off at the leg pants, several shorts.  Probably a shirt and a half per pair of bottoms.  Hmm, and of course the kilt and some odditites.  Several pair of woolen pants and thermal shirts.  Probably too much but...  I'll see when it comes time to pack the packs though.

Medical and artistic stuff is in one small bin, another bigger bin has rope, camping kit, and bowie knife.  I'm trying, as I gather things, to put them into piles with like gear.  Even though I am not always getting to exactly what I planned, I am doing this and that.  It might seem like hemming and hawing but it is required.  It just amazes me how much detail can go into a camp, to try to do it right.

I think the only left to buy for the trip are a couple of pounds of coffee.  I will be taking my hand grinder and French press.  It doesn't produce all that much coffee, but I think I will only be having a couple of pots a day... or two of my glasses, most likely on the rocks.  Vodka tastes horrible in that, which means some secular contrition might be in order.  Oh, oops.  Yeah, I better pick up a few bottles of stupid and perhaps a case or two of brown bottle flu developer.  :p  Ugh...  Well, and dry ice, but that may literally be purchased on my way out of town.  I might be able to by regular ice on any of these next two trips though.  Regular ice last nearly indefinitely in my drop in freezer.  I am, just now, using the last of two bags purchased when my mother was here.

I better make a town run soon, but I want to have the bike stripped of the front tire and attached.  At that point I will also fill her up for the ride, maybe try to make an oil change and tire rotation appointment.  Tuesday is it?  I'll call tomorrow about the appointments and let everything else work it's way from there, hopefully get it set for Friday, if both places are agreeable and have time slots.  Hmm... I will wait on gasoline.  I have an appointment the 19th, I'll fill up then.  Ugh, and plates.  I could wait until I get back but I hate giving the police any reason to possible stop me.  That may wait until the 19th, depending on how well I last with the rest of my doings.

Just in case you ever think of going on a trip into the unknown, keep reading and you will find out what one guy did and eventually how it all worked out.  Yeah.  Later.

It's starting to look like Christmas?

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Well, if you are used to having boxes and boxes opened and glittering new gear all about, then yes.  My watch arrived, along with some "alternative wear" for BMan (if you have to dress funny, dress as you would prefer to dress funny?), and the ziplocs.  I plan on stacking clothes in, sort of by when I suspect I will be using them, and in several bags.  A bag or two for dirty clothes wouldn't be bad either.  I may or may not have extras.  If I do I will offer them to my partner in desert grime who may or may not wish for them.  Still, having bits and pieces of extras around might lend themselves to various uses.  Since I probably have the space I might as well use it.  My guess is I am more conservative as to use, though time may prove that notion incorrect.  *grins*

Ah, best turn the ac on.  I don't want to let my potential cook away today.  Just that little extra kick of cool makes life a whole lot easier.  I am counting on the harder, possibly faster, cool down of the nights, and direct exposure to it at Burning Man, to handle my indelicacies regarding heat.  I do think it will work, and quite well.  Even being ill and heat averse I am... more survivable than most.  I guess that notion will be tested.

Now to find the magnifying glass in order to read the instructions in order to set the watch.  Oh, even if I had gone with bifocals this year I would not have had a chance at reading these instructions.  Far too small and poorly printed.  It is the same watch that just died, or as close as is possible.  But then, setting a watch once every seven years doesn't lead to a good grasp of those fundamentals.

Packing, today.  Some of the clothes I have set aside.  While I do it I will make a list and include it in the pack.  Other clothes will be washed or taken out of wherever they are stored and added.  How many clothes to take, give that there is the trip up, the stay itself, and then the trip back... Sum total that is a week and a half.  Some clothes are needed for day wear, some for night wear, some for costume.  Further, some of it needs to be for the heat, some for the cold, and some for transition?  Perhaps the switch from hot to cold and back will be rather quick though.  I just have no idea what to actually expect.  I love that I will be learning though.  Beside mountains here in Utah, there are deserts, plateau desert, and other sorts of areas to explore.  I can do standard mountains, as per my knowledge.  Deserts are new to me.

Let me see.  I have road assistance covered.  The tent works and cot fits, mostly, and works with what goes with it.  Water bottles are good to go, though I could empty them from my storage and use this spring.  I ought to see how well the topper fits the Xt'er, and get a better idea of just how much room is in there and whether I can lock it.  And I best get going on that bike.  I did order a floor pump and will test that while I am messing around.  Hmm, might as well gather all of my bike gear and put that in one location as well.   

There is simply so much to do and seemingly so little time.  Oh, it'll get done.  I just wonder what will be forgotten.  Later!

Yeah, okay.

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I am currently on hold, talking with AAA.  Yes, premium.  It includes RVs, if those are in my future, and work as a passenger, plus with 200 miles of towing, lock issues, and flat tires.  Now it takes seven to ten days for the card to arrive, but with the membership number and a drivers license that will be enough for any claim. ~ Done and done.  Now I have some road side assistance, good for my vehicle, D.C.'s RV, anything else drivable really, as the driver or passenger.  Yum.  I had allowed that to lapse since I was pretty much having to get used to driving less with less money flow due to the purchase of my home.  If I am going to begin traveling a bit more I best get that back on track.

As well, it looks like the ziplocs will be arriving today, so I can begin packing that part of things.  I am moving slowly, but... plans are fomenting, little things are happening, and it is coming together.  Yeah, it finally hit me, today, how fast this is coming, and yet somehow how long it really is before it gets here.  Hmm, maybe a big old cup of coffee will settle my nerves?  Ha!

Through the fog.

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I finally sat down to figure out when I need to leave.  The hotel suggests the office is only open from 9:00 to 17:00 at the hotel where I will be staying.  Motel?  Can't tell from the pic, though I suspect a two story gig.  I definitely want to be there before the office closes, if I would suspect they have some one there for later checking.  Still, that will give me time to cool down, assess, look at what else is happening, and figure out some other things, plus with enough of a window for error.  The next thing I want to do is check about AAA motor, or other road, services.  Yeah, it's cautionary but...  And it lasts a year.

So much yet to do.  Oh, I suppose, I could just shove it all in and hope.  The tricky part is to pack in an organized fashion.  Not necessary if rushed, but helpful in many ways to be organized.  The check lists are coming out and I am going to work on those more than anything else next.  Yes, yes, I am a mess right now.  This will not go off as planned.  It can't.  I don't have the experience to make that happen.  I can do it in such a way that seemless improvements can be made.  I can do it so that the damage is limited to inconveniences.  I can avoid larger errors.  To that end, though, I am going by other people's checklists, a few of my wanted adds, and a wing plus prayer.

Yes, the clock is a bastard even when I've been prepping for weeks and months really.  As the time approaches, something kicks in.  I'll be in sprint mode, now that I have set the calender and have little more than a week to go.  As I wrote to D.C., it is times like this when I truly miss being in the Navy.  We did this kind of crap often, and I loved it!  I miss it.  I just wish I could do it more often.  And, this may be the start, thanks to medicine and improvements.  Yum!  *3...2...1.... jump, dive, go... go, go, go!*

Haiku Monday - Shallows

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Fishy won the prize and took home the burden.  Hmm, sounds like a marriage made in heaven?  *laughs*  She is up and ready for all comers, here.   Of course, I put in a few to let her know I listened to her Haiku Monday history lesson.  And... I wrote nary a word about hurrying up with putting up a post.  If I know her, and I don't, I would guess she might be the type to drag her feet when feeling pushed or rushed.  Okay, I base this off my inclinations.  Never the mind.  I may have more.

Ain't it the truth, brother.

Oh, a completely natural theme.  Difficult to get in dying, killing, sexual immorality and amorality, but...  Well...  It's my job.  I'll be working on it.  *chuckles*  Something about if you can't laugh at yourself, find someone else.  Quite often I need not stray a step out of my own yard, just that it becomes worn quickly.  Today's the day!  Yum!

Sparkling Water Glitter

peripheral glint
here then not, sparkle or wave?
for food or bait- neat
----------------------

Hot days

toes sink into wet
shiver goes the heat up spine
want in- NOT happening

----------------------

Love's got nothing to do with it, sometimes.

Even There

superficial depth

replete with emptiness- but

fertility is

----------------------

Mostly

 restfulness near shore
no danger- choices and freedoms
water and beast mīt*

{*mīt : find mitigate in the dictionary and read the sources}
----------------------
KISSING THE SHOALS

a place to wallow

where sores and strains dissipate-

careful of the flow

DREAMLIFE

unconscious * awake

the line between the two shrinks-

can't tell difference

SHORE

calamity- not

beginning for some little ones

for love for other ones

Yes, I could write these all day long.  They do lose something when you keep writing.  Uhrm, assuming there was anything there to begin with.  Then again, I would guess out of sheer tedium in the practice, one might ascend to true art, if only in one's mind?  I don't quite have the aptitude.  I won't add these, I've added enough.

Just checking on things this morning and...

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I seem to have lost my hotel.  Oh, I am pretty sure I have a room secured.  I just can't remember exactly which hotel it was.  As I bring them up, none of them seems to match what I remember.  I will just have to start making some phone calls.  And hope.  I am sure I put my email address in and asked for confirmation to be sent, but then didn't check on it. I hate when things work like this.  Yeah, I do little things to check on stuff or set them up or such perpetually... Mostly.  Usually I don't run into lost reservations though.  Later.

Found it, it's all good.  Even if I was... asking for the wrong day.  Doh!  Shouldn't get in a panic while still waking, makes for terrible checking.  And, yet, it worked out.  The 22nd, not the 25th.  What was buzzing through my bean.  Never mind.  Now I can get on with things.  Like figuring out when I need to leave, with room in there.

Oh, and on another topic, it seems there might be salvation from mindrot for even the rich and famous.  There is a long path yet to walk, but...  It is amazing what happens when people become fearless and finally actually look, learn, and think instead of feel.  The poverty that is out there is truly horrid.  What it leaves people, human beings, to live in and die in is... breathtakingly wretched.  But giving them anything, save in cases, and temporarily at that, where their lives have been upended through acts out of anyone's control such as with extreme drought, flooding, or other catastrophes, is leading them into further suffering.

While it is difficult to say no, just as with a child and candy, the better for seeming heartlessness is that the child grows to both appreciate correct nutrition, learns to seek what beyond that they might need or want with cocomitted limits to that access, and helps the child understand law.  Take those things away by indulging and the child, man, woman, are ruined.  Eventually they can't help themselves.  It's... why I really prefer to avoid hospitals.  The years I was constantly hospitalized by needs were the worst of years.

Yes, if Bono can come around, and yes I was praying for him, and specifically, then who knows who else might be able to be lead to reason by knowledge, truth, even the Truth it may seem.  They do have to get over their fear of the truth, they have to get over their emotions relating to events, they have to get over their own excesses and the belief that those are normal, then they have to be brave enough to see, and admit, they were wrong.  It's a hell of a haul.  I'll... give him... a point or two for going this far.  Now to see that to fruition.  Where he goes from here is what will matter.  Will he begin advocating for an end to the bad sorts of aid?  Baby steps, I suppose.  I know them well, in many ways.

Of course, he still has a major problem.  He still believes poverty can be ended.  As a Christian he doesn't seem to even know what Christ said, or simply chooses, yet, not to believe.  Poverty, as with war and rumors of war, will haunt the steps of men for all of our days.  Fine, do what we can for our brothers and sisters.  But... don't think you can undo the truth as spoken by God, and directly to us.  Oh, it wasn't that He cursed us with these things, He merely noted our choices lead to this reality.  That choice cannot be undone here, only there and only through Him.  Still... Bono is... coming along about as well as could be expected in the best of circumstances given his... past.  That, my friends, is the power of prayer.

Yea, yea, I'm going.  Oh, and I received a email confirmation, so I shouldn't lose my hotel again.  Later.

A good morning.

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Still a bit off from yesterday.  Ah well.  The heat will sometimes get to me is my guess.  If I can't do the big things I will go ahead and do the little things.  Which I have been doing.  Technically, if I want to keep my plan in action, I have about a week to be arranged and packed or mostly packed.  Yeah, I am going to have to lean on things a bit.  Not hugely, just...

With a tent, sleeping arrangements, water, and food ready, the rest will just have to sort itself out.  I looked, again, at how to wear a kilt.  There are those who suggest sewing the pleats in, adding belt loops, and such.  Then there are those who do quite well without either of those.  I am, probably, going without sewing this year.  I just don't think I have the time with all else needing to be done.  Should work well.  However, I do need to measure and cut for length and breadth.  I doubt if I will, as it turns out, need all that material. 

Well, today?  A bit of gardening if I can get to it early.  Today, however, I will be using the ac a bit earlier, say around noon, to keep from cooking again.  I've simply become a bit sensitive to the heat.  Pushing will do that, even if it doesn't seem, objectively, that I have been doing so.  Pushing to one man is a relaxing stroll to another.

Later.

No shower, a little time in the garden, that's it.

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I did set the bladder in to see hot it fits.  And I ran some water.  The hose from the bladder to the shower head is rather... kinked.  It will be a perpetual difficulty getting that shower to work.  No troubles with shooting water everywhere though.  You'll be lucky to get wet.  On the other hand, at least the thing isn't a 30 second wonder.  The problem with trying it wasn't any of that.  The bladder cooled off quickly.  It's probably room temperature now, but that seemed a bit cool to me.  In the high heat that may be fine though.  It will certainly be easy to soak the vests well with it.

I'm simply off my game.  Why is for a time when questions will have answers.  Oh, well, I continue to tinker.  Little things fall in place, lists are made and being slowly checked.  It's not like I am completely stopping, it's just that the bigger jobs aren't being done.  No focus, though right now there is something physical going wrong as well.  Perhaps some part of my mind is overwhelmed with all the projects, lists, packing, and testing.  While I consciously am doing fine with it, some part of my brain may simply be overloading.  Or I am merely having a minor fall.  As I said, I can't know at this time. 

To bed early, out there, this time with a pillow.  The bee seems to be gone.  There are a few things I still hope to do as I get ready for bed.  The first is to find my camp stove, the last will be to spray the other wasp nest I found.  That I will do last, in the hopes most of the little monsters are too comfortably perched, and cool, to do more than what I have intended... die.  Still, after a few quick sprays, I will probably retreat to my abode for a good half hour to allow them to die in peace, on all of our parts.

I am considering trying to cook eggs on the skillet in the cooker tomorrow.  Even with my tinkering I have not yet gone through a bag of coals.  I have a bag left.  I am pretty sure I will need at least another bag though, for a week, and I am thinking two would be better for insurance.  From what I remember of the camp stove, it is fine for squat.  It is top quality, high-end, multi-fuel, with bells and whistles.  I was not impressed.  It can, if you use a match on it, light another match.  It might even be able to light the match used to light it back to flame.  For cooking?  Well, it's... something.  Better than nothing, not much more.  And yet, it will have to do for some things, like coffee, and heating MREs.  Oh, that makes me think...  I wonder if I can get a box of regular MREs in before the trip...

Later.

Dinner was good, at least.

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I am slowly cooking in here, for whatever reason.  I've been out a few times, to tend the shower, to put dinner on the grill, and to tend the wasp nests.  I may end up in the garden yet this evening.  It should be cooling off.  Hmm, I ought to see how the shower fits together, and have that ready for after the garden, with swim trunks on for propriety's sake.  I might even simply change clothes in the tent, just to see what that is like.  Well, and to see if that idiot bee has found it's way out.  I'm not quite sure how to shoo it out safely.  The other sting seems to be healed, pretty much.  I don't want to test my theory about why I dealt with the first sting, and healed as well as I did.  I have heard that allergies can do one of two things, get better or get worse, with exposure.  In this case it would seem that it got better.  However, there is another idea that a long absence of exposure to an allergen can reset the clock.  Now, whether I am over the allergy, or simply from lack of exposure have reset... I don't know.  I also do not wish to find out.

Then again, these are just theories created by scientists and doctors who are trying to explain the fact that they, also, don't know.  Not in any specific case or circumstance, and it isn't even a theory, just words created to explain what has been seen.  It amazes me what people will take from academia as if it knew something they can't plainly see.  Put a ph. d. in front of a name and people act like that guy actually knows.  He doesn't. 

Well, work in the garden, maybe the tire removed, don't know.  It's just been a rough day.  At least supper was good.  I didn't overcook last steak this time, mostly.  Hmm, better take some kind of timer for cooking.  I have no idea what to expect cooking there, regular times won't always work with the large variances in temps, but the altitude is similar, so that is a start.  Hmm, might take one of my meat thermometers as well.

Okay, so one more order of things.  Stuff to light up the bicycle.  The problem is, many have at least some doubts about how long the various items last.  Some take special batteries.  Some have to be configured to last.  Lots of minor detail work and questionable results.  I also finally remembered to order goggles.  One pair is supposed to fit over glasses, the other won't.  I only went with this order because my last payment on the house was returned.  As I said, I plan on using that and a probable other reimbursement when the deal is finalized, to put right back against my home.  However, having that money in the bank allows for a cushion, along with what else I have, what I have in my secondary account, and what I have available for credit, on top of the fact that I will be returning in a new pay period.  

Look, I just like to make sure I am not shooting myself in the foot financially.  I won't bother with the wheat grinder unless I do get another month of home payment returned, or close enough.  This extra will go right to the house payment when I return, along with the regular payment.  And, actually, while this deal saves me $200 on my monthly payment, I plan to keep my payment right where it is.  Simply put I am not using the break to live larger, merely to gain a better financial position regarding the home.  Yeah, it's all bound to fall apart, as the economic world prepares to collapse, but...  There is then and there is now.

 Later.

Dragging but beginning.

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I didn't get started right away, even after that last post.  Just couldn't do it.  After a bit though, my conscience got the better of me.  I set the charcoal chimney, then got the shower kit out.  *Le Sighe*  It works fine, assuming you have a sky-hook.  I happen to have found a branch that would work.  Oh, perhaps the shade structure would support the weight?  Dunno.  All I know is it is not what I had hoped.  It's not at all bad for what it is, especially for what I paid for it, less than a $10 spot on some kind of blind sale I ran into while thinking on such things.  The bladder is full, and heating, as well.  It seems to hold the water just fine.  Still, the thing with hanging it somewhere?  Tent spikes hold four, roughly, corners.  It is a pretty weak thing though, it won't hold up to much.  There is a center zipper on the front, and it is roomy enough for me, though I have yet to see how much room the bladder will take.  It's... something, anyway.  And I have two in case one dies.  Yea, better to take them both.

Potatoes are going.  In about fifteen I will put the chuck steak on.  Yeah, that will work.  I'm honestly, given the doldrums of the day, not sure what else will happen.  All I know is I will keep planning and what gets done will just have to suffice.

Oh, I ordered some glop, something D.C. recommended, four tubes of the stuff.  It arrived today.  When I looked at the package, especially not knowing what was in it, I was almost sure it would be broken.  Why?  When you see a tired tread essentially covering the whole length and width of the package, some things are safer to assume.  As it turns out none of the tubes burst.  One is pretty wrinkled, another has the nipple bib pretty dented, but nothing oozed out.  Still, really?  Why would you even continue sending that package.  If it had been anything else, and they couldn't have known, it would have been destroyed.  Still, I now have gobs of goop.

I also checked the wasp nests.  One of them is completely dead.  I took out the actual nest and found around sixty, perhaps more, wasps dead in there.  The other nest had a single wasp messing around on it.  I sprayed it, and the nest, but had to move.  The thing came right at me right through the spray.  Bet he won't do THAT again.  If it is clear I plan on removing it, and burning it, along with the other nest.  I also found another nest that I will spray tonight, right above the garage door.  I have been around the cave looking.  That is all I saw but it would be easy to miss some.  For some reason they just love me.

Just feeling a bit run down and out of sorts today.  We do have weather moving in and around the state, perhaps that is it.  Or maybe, trying to work the garden in the heat, got to me.  Or maybe it just is the way summers are sometimes.  Later.

Slow start.

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I'm not exactly sprinting to get things done.  Actually I haven't started.  Yeah, yeah, I know.  *tick-tock tick-tock*  Ah, but it is such a fine morning for leisure.  So I have been leisuring like a champ.

I suppose it's time to get out of my pajamas and put the shower tent up.  It will be too hot to really do much work in the garden.  Simply put, if I try to do it now I will cook off the rest of the day on top of having wasted the morning.  I may, however, be able to get out and start the grill while putting up the shower, even filling the first bladder, then a little cooling, then get the bike tire off.  A little more rest, and then looking for the camp stove.  Just bits of things, here and there.

I seriously have to do things as I can.  This morning I really couldn't do much.  I am finally learning how to fit things into the spaces and times where they will fit.  My last gal was excellent at sorting and packing.  I can do that, but not really well.  This is sort of like that, only not with objects but with tasks.  A big job has to be planned, guided, fit into my life.  Little jobs, though, can be done in the in-between spaces, if I am able.  I can never get done what my mind sees to do, not all of it, sometimes not any of it, if that has improved.  It is difficult having the intellectual ability, now, to see what needs to be done but to have little capacity to do it.

I suppose the reason I don't keep up on my home is two-fold.  One, it is a perpetual task.  It is never done.  As such, I both fall behind and become intimidated by the very notion of it.  When I fall behind, catching up, when I can do it, exhausts me.  Which means it's one of those big things, and I don't have that much 'space' for big jobs.  It just doesn't fit.  I suppose the other half is that I am a guy.  Guys simply and honestly are neither prone nor fully interested in such projects.  I think women are into cleanliness, as I suggested before, due to health issues for not keeping up.  Issues guys simply don't share.  I like the results, but as women like some things they can't really do well, without another to do them they, and I, do without.  What I find so funny about the notion is that while women I have been with usually do clean and keep a place up, and I enjoy the results, it is often a point of contention between us.  *laughs*  I just wish they got the joke.  And, yes, they are similar.  The things they want me to do they fuss about me doing them at all, the time and the money it takes are often debated, and they seem to sabotage my efforts on top of it.  Oh... I do enjoy this game.  Moving targets, that's what I am suggesting.  Yea, need to find a wife.

Ah, but it is a beautiful day.  It is supposed to hit 92, but that... really... that is cooler than most of the days this summer.  I have figured out my home, and with the ac I can keep it very satisfyingly cool, or cool enough.  It still reaches the high 70s and low 80s in here on the worst days, which isn't terribly comfortable, but a short trip outside makes that feel better, a shower now actually helps a great deal, and I can always turn the ac on for some spot cooling.  It is difficult to imagine no electricity, air conditioning, motors.  Some think that is, or should could, be the way forward.  Only if you want a quarter, or more, of the population to end... and a new brutality of existence to begin for those who survive.  People like to point fingers at the harshness of even our moderate historic figures.  What they fail to realize is those people lived and acted as they did, not because they were different men but because they lived in mean times.  Hard times make hard men who make harsh choices, and need to do so.  Then again, despite their false notions, perhaps mean times are again called for.  The gilded age seems to have spared the rod and spoiled the children.

Yeah, well, there is a potent chance I would not survive it.  So, it's not really something of a concern for me in one sense.  It is just something I wouldn't wish on even my enemies, though I might wish it upon those I loved, who have fallen into the disrepair of forgetting "why".  I've seen that sort of life and do not think it is stellar.  I'll take ac any day, but there are too many who don't understand.  Oh, yes, imagine NYC losing electricity.  No elevators would immediately end skyscrapers, high rise apartments, and much else.  No fuel would mean getting food and other resources would be quite labor intensive for all parties on all fronts.  Just how many horses would be required to fill that many bellies?  While the water would still flow, a whole new paradigm regarding it's distribution would have to be created.  Essentially cities would die, in days.  Was it the Inca, or some other of the greater uncivilized civilization that ended in a day, or days?  Though I think their problem was food, if that was based on drought?  Hmm, yes, in days, the survivors would be streaming out of cities from any of a number of causes... the end of electricity through a catastrophic grid failure, a major water crunch, food distribution problems, and a dozen or more other even singular problems.  Most likely, though, the problems will come in groups.  And, actually, it will almost certainly happen, probably even in my lifetime.  Now think of cities evacuating at once.  Yuck.

Well, I suppose.  Later.

Oh, one more thing...  I was able to sleep quite comfortably with the sleeping bag open, with just a bit of it covering me, and my feet out without socks, at 52 degrees.  While it does get a bit cooler there, 12 degrees give or take, I think I am rather well set.  Oh, I'll take a blanket or two, if less for need than for... just because, traditional notions, other uses, take your pick.

Yes, yes indeed.

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A night spent in the wilds of my backyard went quite nicely.  I thought I would wake earlier but it just didn't happen until 8:30, nearly 9:00.  From what I read, it was supposed to get down to 52, I think, last night.  It is already 72 now, here.  That is probably more what woke me, the warming.  It's a tight fit out there.  It's, essentially, a cot tent with spare room on the sides for storage.  Getting in is tricky.  Oh, and there was something in there with me, a bug of some sort.  My flashlight was not up to identifying it and it made no sound, if it did get tangled in my hair for a few seconds.  After the wasp thing yesterday, I almost thought to call it off.  I ended up being way too tired for that, or even to go back in for even a single pillow.  Even without a pillow, and I usually use two, the sleep was much more comfortable than what I had anticipated.  I woke rather easy, naturally, though I usually do.

I also found out what was in there with me... a fat bumble bee.  One of those big boys.  *le sigh*  Now... how to get my stuff and get out with nary enough room to even set up.  Crawl, boy, my mind said.  Do you, I suggested, have any idea how long it has been since I have crawled, says I?  It's been so long I was thinking it was just an expression.  Just give it a go, my mind suggested, I will help.  The bee will give you subjective reinforcement.  Thanks, bastard, says I.  Oh yes, one of us often chuckles at the other's expense.  I prefer to be on the chuckling side but it's more like a coin toss who gets to do what.  I obviously lost this coin flip.  Oh, I made it out without a bee sting and with my stuff.  I think.  Doh!  Keys!  I'll get those... in a bit.

When dinner arrived yesterday I showed my neighbor the tent and grill.  No reason, he has a tent and grill.  I guess I just wanted to show that I could set them up?  That I wasn't a complete gimp, all of the time anyway.  Something.  As we circled the home, he noticed a couple of things that might be of interest to me.  Wasp nests, up and off to the side of the door where I got stung and another nest further along near a window.  He even spotted the wasp spray, though I knew where that was.  He suggested it would be a good time to spray, as they seemed to be in for the night.  I thought it still too warm, so waited until this morning.  I sprayed the far group first, then the one closest to the door, and shuffled in like an athlete trying to beat the competition at the finish line.  I sprayed them good.  Best to look for other nests and, if I am up later tonight, spray those.  Perhaps spraying those nests again as well.  Damn dangerous.  And from what I have seen, spraying these things doesn't kill all of them or quickly.  When working on several nests in what I hoped to become the chicken hutch, I sprayed and sprayed and sprayed and never, to my knowledge, killed them all.  Further, they would start up right nearby.  If I want them out of there I am going to have to bugbomb the place.  Damn wasps.

The sting site did disappear on my arm, but then it came back with a vengeance.  By bedtime last night the sting area itself had developed a little blister and the redness around it was bigger than a dollar coin.  This morning it is mostly a very mottled red patch and the blister has popped leaving a really small open wound, much like a small cut, circular in nature.  And some muscles in that arm continue to feel as if they had been strained, with very minor spasms.  I am surprised I have not been stung before this, all givens known now.

Today?  Yeah.  Into the garden hopefully twice today, the last of the dishes need to be done, the shower tent will go up, the camping stove will be found and checked and researched so as to figure out which fuel(s) to buy for it, and the front tire of the bike will come off and then perhaps it will be mounted on the Xt'er.  Well, that is the plan.  A very nice sleep, a good if not perfect day yesterday, and a clock that is ticking faster than my heart!  Time is going so very fast.  Oh, and I best remember a birthday card for someone special the next time I go into town.  Yes indeed.  If I don't remember that, then at least a call.  Yeah...  I know me.  It's ugly but the way of it.

Oh, and it looks like my final order has shipped, in pieces and parts, if mostly set to arrive on the same day somehow.  Ziploc bags for clothes and such, but very importantly a new watch.  An exact duplicate, more or less, of my old watch.  My watch died, after seven or eight years, a run through some of the worst rapids experienced rafters had seen a manthing survive, and lots of other incidences.  When you are my size, and you intend to move things or even just moving through the world, you hit things, hard sometimes.  I am hard on watches.  So, finding one that survives my delicate care... I'll stick with it.  I had thought about fancier ones in the line, moving up a bit.  But, even without money as a consideration, I just didn't want to risk it.  Heck, I often kill even pricey wrist watches just because of my body movements or something.  No, I'll stick with what works.  I'll leave the fancy for fan-boys, tech geeks, and man-glams. 

I have so much left to do.  I need to figure out how to make the material for the kilt work.  I have vids back there somewhere, but I may need to hem the cloth.  Simply put, I have no idea what I am doing.  Time is running so short.  I need to get my lists going, look over what I have and what I need, and tend that.  The tent and cot system seems to work, I may sleep out there another night or two to... well... just check things and figure out how I should set things up.  So many things to do, so little time, and always with the threat of a gimp shower to wet down production.  And yet... I love it!  Never the who.

Good day.

Dead tired.

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No, I didn't get to another session in the garden.  Setting up the tent, then wrestling with the cot, first to figure it out then to try to get it inside the tent.  Bleh.  Still, no complaints.  I did what I honestly could.  Now to get a shower, put on some outside worthy jammies, and crawl into the tent for a little shuteye.  I don't know if the girls will go out with me, Sam probably will, if she wants to.  Should be interesting.

Tomorrow?  More work in the garden, as I can.  I also want to set up the shower tent and test both bladders.  Perhaps I will take a shower in it tomorrow evening, if the bladders hold, and I suppose if the shower tent is usable.  I am also hoping to get the front bike tire removed.  All of it seems simple enough.  And I suppose it is.  It simply comes down to energy, or stamina.  At least fuller days aren't killing me now.  A bit of rest, perhaps a day of rest if I have pushed for days on end, then back to it.  Mostly.  Hmm, oh, and I should find my camp stove and figure out what fuel I need for it.  I am pretty sure it's multi-fuel.  White gas, regular gas (or some such), and possibly even diesel?  I know it can use at least two fuels, if one burns hotter.  I think it is white gas, which is also a bit of a nuisance, as white gas iirc has both a short shelf life and is somewhat toxic, and is more expensive?  Something like that.  I'll put a bottle or two on my list for the next time I am in town, whichever I am getting.  I think I bought a larger container, too.  Hmm, I'll have to research a bit on it, it's been a long time.

Oh, dinners are off.  The wife who cooks most of my dinners is going to be away for a few days.  As I hear it, the mister is on his own as well.  Fair enough.  I had hoped to do a few things on the grill anyway.  All good.

Good night.

It took a while, but I have it.

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A bit of a break but I didn't want to spend too much time down.  Down time has a way of procreating one's way out of work.  But I did need some time down.  Next up was the tent.  While it is still at max temp for the day, that is mild compared to what is coming.  The shade won't feel like much, but just tent outside of it and... yeah.  Anyway, the tent went up.  It wasn't too difficult.  I did have to figure a few things out, but nothing that took more than a few moments to understand.  Nothing got broke and no hard words were needed.  I also measure it, once up.  Without extra guylines, the footprint of my tent is, roughly, 93" square.  It is bigger than I thought.  And, probably a good thing on one side of things.  I next got the cot out, set it up, some cussing was used on this project.  It seems a good thing I decided to check these things out.  I need a pry bar to put this thing together.  I happen to have a minor wrecker that will work well for that, and installing rebar as well.  A little too hard for regular tent stakes, so a rubber mallet will also be going.

Now, fitting the cot in the tent was a whole other story.  I can get it in.  Luckily the tent has two doors or I wouldn't be able to fit it.  I can mostly zip both doors but not quite, and the last set of legs will not fit in, I think.  I added the cushion, then put my bag in on top of it.  I haven't messed with the side organizer to see if it fits yet.  I am thinking about, perhaps, later, after another cool down then another shift in the garden, another cool down and shower, sleeping out in the contraption.  Why not?  It will be getting down into the low 50's, so I will have some notion of how that all works.  The sleeping bag is much too warm, probably, to actually sleep in.  But I could use it as an additional mattress or just have it open and use a blanket or two.

I haven't set the shower up yet.  I am thinking, if I get another session in the garden and take a shower I will have, for me, done a man's man job for the day.  Now to keep up this pace, and actually increase until kickoff.  Loverly.

Oh, I guess there is still a little mark on my arm.  In the dark of my cave I couldn't quite make it out, or maybe it wasn't there earlier?  It looks like a zit, at this point.  My guess is, though, that this is puss from the poison or infection that wasn't there earlier, as I think about it.  I did touch my arm, as well as look, and I am certain there was nothing.  Oh well.  Still, that I didn't go into apoplectic shock, or even have a strong reaction, is a promising event.

Oh, that was a bit rough.

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I thought I would be able to put a couple hours in the garden, maybe two or three sessions of it.  Not a chance.  I got an hour and a skinned ego in though.  It wasn't the heat, it is only 90 anyway.  It was the bending.  Oh, I'll go out and get another session in.  Especially after seeing how beautiful, large, and flowering, some of the plants are!  As I was going down rows, clearing a path to still possible run drip line and simply finding the plants, I was absolutely astonished.  Some of them have many flowers.  Whether they will go on to create actual peppers is a whole other issue.  Still, they are worth putting more skin in the game, and perhaps the drip line to kill off weeds.  Being high summer, I just don't know if there is time.  But between water starvation and a simple hoe, it might still work.

The simple act of bending over, time and again, was just getting to me.  Now, I wasn't going at a leisurely pace, either.  I cleared out at least two rows, enough to allow much more sun around each plant and lay the pipes, and more.  I started out henpecking and just tinkering around four or five tomato plants before I decided to try to be more systematic about it.  If nothing else, as I have suggested, this will get me in some kind of shape leading up to Burning Man.  Oh, I filled my canteen with fresh water, but water didn't seem to help nor was it the issue.  Still, it's nice to have it back in play.  I'll sip from it on my break, every half hour to hour...  Just like I plan on doing there.

Just a few hours of tinkering, until it begins to cool I suppose.  The goal is to get a couple of sessions in, setting up the tent and possibly the shower system, and putting my cot and sleep kit up to make sure that is all functioning as intended.  Bike tire?  Well, it's just... a notion.  Actually, all of it is just an idea I may or may not be able to give form or breath life into.  Time tells all if some already know.  Later.

Youch!

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As I was putting Sam's food and water out, I felt this terrible pain on my arm.  I had no idea what...  A wasp!  I don't even know why it stung me.  I was probably in it's way, it simple ran into me, and attacked immediately?  I am going to see if you pull those stingers out, if I am not really seeing one.  And I better be careful.  When I was a child I was truly deathly allergic to stings, bee, wasp, whatever.  I literally had to be carried to the hospital to be given a shot as breathing was impaired and worsening.  So far, other than that minor if surprising and sharp pain, and a bit of pain in lengthening echoes from that, no problems.    Oh, well, and a bump smaller than a dime by half the diameter.  Weird, just damned weird.

No stinger was left, so...  I'll just let nature takes it's course.  There are many bits of advice, how helpful is another story.  Using a penny as the copper works with body chemistry, mixing baking soda with water as a poultice, vinegar, among others.  Meh...  I'll live, probably.

Later.

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 As it turns out, a wasp sting wasn't a problem at all.  Then again, I am three times my previous body mass and quite acquainted with severe pain.  This wasn't it.  The only reason it seemed like it was painful was the shock of it coming out of the blue.  The bump did increase to the size of a quarter, then flattened out into about a fifty cent piece as it faded.  I assume my body slowly broke the poison down and then transported it away.  At this point there is nothing remaining.  Even the sting site itself is invisible.  The odd thing is I have and continue to have minor sensations that resemble minor cramps, but not in a huge area, more like a few strands of some of the minor muscles in there are going through very weak spasms.  Could be.  On the surface, there is slight discomfort at the touch, as if a shallow bruise, or having been snapped by a really thick rubber band.  All good, now I can get going.  Yes, I did hold things up.  If I was going to go into shock I wanted not to be in the heat and to be close to the phone and a place to lay down.

Another late night, another early morning.

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The goal, this morning, is to get into the garden as hard and often as I can.  Hitting the weeds like a hammer.  As well, I hope to set up the tent and the shower stall, including putting my cot together and testing that out.  If that all goes easier than I thought, perhaps getting the front tire off the bike.  Honestly, that is a bucket load of work.  I don't know how much of even what I suggest will get done, let alone a bike tire, but that is what the plans name.

I went to bed late, again, as I suggested.  It was definitely after midnight, possibly after 1:00.  I woke at a bit after 7:00 and in good shape.  Sam is out, she goes out first thing most mornings.  Sassy just howls for food for a while, and maybe attention.  If I am up early I don't feed them right away.  It's a long day, they only get fed (wet food) twice a day (dry is always available), and feeding them too early doesn't work well.  Now I put out the cans so I know how much they have been fed.  Their mealtimes vary though.  Sometimes they don't get their first can until noon, sometimes as early as 9:00.  For dinner?  That can fall anywhere from 17:00 to 22:00, a bit earlier if I am going to be gone for the day, maybe, and later if I forget.  Oh, yes, doing quite well this morning.

Working in the garden will just have to be my exercise prep for Burning Man.  It's what I can do.  I will definitely be taking a few days off right before the drive.  Oh, from the garden.  I will be busy packing, and hopefully just the first day.  The last day I hope to indulge in gaming to get my hit of that stuff before heading out.  It is junky fodder, true.  But I have learned to, mostly, keep it in it's place.  As a reward for good behavior it works well.  It also works to get me out of funks.  It reminds me of what can be survived, how to lose and figure things out, and reinvigorates me.  Look, it's a miracle I walk, talk, breath even.  What ever I have done to facilitate that seems to work.  There might be better ways but my guess is that unless it is tried it can't be known.  Well, and I am not sure I am of the health to follow some strict guideline.  That is the one thing I positively can't do for long.  Simply taking medication regularly is a huge trick.  That's it for complexity over longer terms.

Yeah... Hmm...  Later.

Oh, reading the news I saw an article that brought back the memory of a dream.  Some... years ago, a decade or two, now is it...  I dreamed of the Archangel Michael setting aside war and becoming a healer.  In the dream he used honey.  He practiced his arts on soldiers in some ancient battles, over there.  Whether from guilt for having maimed and killed so many, weariness from battle over eons, frustration at the long arduous process of reality until it is time, I don't know, but I felt a distinct sadness emanating from him, one I know as well if not half and less still so powerfully next to his.  Now, even after the dream I had thought the use of honey for medicinal purposes was a silly notion.  But the notion stuck in my craw.  I ended up doing a bit of research and found out that honey was used as a powerful medical product at one time.  It seems, also, what is old is new again.  Who could have known that a dream could teach?

Actually, I pretty much dismissed the dream out of hand.  My disregard for doctors at the time didn't help.  And I wouldn't have believed someone like St. Michael would weary or choose to heal.  Live and learn, and much.  Yeah, it's in the bible, but...  I didn't remember that part, or might not have read that part yet.  OT?  If so, then I had not read it. 

Okay, well, learning.

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The potatoes, outside, were on the verge of being burned, it seemed.  Inside?  Fantastic.  And the burn wasn't bad enough to add bitter, a thing I simply don't enjoy with potatoes.  Further, beside putting in wedges I added two whole potatoes.  I put them all on the lower grill, turned them every ten minutes for about an half hour.  The whole potato, while it didn't appear to be, was quite done yet unburned.  I then put the steak on, also on the lower grill.  I gave it three minutes on one side, four on the other.  It was okay, just a bit more done than I had hoped.

Oh, right, I was discussing how I enjoyed the Gaelic language.  Irish or Scottish, I quite enjoy them both.  And, truth be told, I can't tell them apart.  Here is an example of both spoken and sung, then on to how odd it is they can sing English without much of an accent.  I am sure there is a trick that none understands.  I am almost going to bet the last singer would stand out hugely if he merely spoke what he is singing.  His accent would be wild.  As is it sounds like he has a minor, somewhat vague, accent.  East coast, perhaps Appalachian, something.

Oh, and it is much... brighter in real life.  Something magical to it, at least to my ears.  Much of it dulled by the limits of recording.  In my opinion.

Hmm...  Just a bit of tinkering then on to bed I do believe.  Good night.

Not much more, but a little.

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What I ended up doing in the garden sort of squashed me.  Well, and the disappointment at not being able to get the drip line in.  I did figure out the lawn water problem.  Not only had the timer been turned off, someone had put a kink in the hose.  I suppose they thought if I found one it might be a while before I found the other.  Now, if the town wants to shut down lawn watering, so be it.  But I expect that to be even steven, across the board or not at all.  I best not catch who is doing that.  It is running as I speak.  Actually, I better give it a good long soak.  It's been a very long time and shows.

Tomorrow the goal is to get back into the garden and get going after weeds.  Mostly I just want to clear out a sun path for those plants that are doing fine other than being in the shade, and create aisles.  Who knows, I might yet get the drip system in.  That might also take care of some of the weeds through lack of water.  I just don't know at this point.

I got the steaks sorted, stored in bags, and freezing as I write.  After that I decided to light up the grill for a steak.  I bought two, just chuck for grill trials, here at home.  Ribeye for the road.  Hamburger is my next mission.  I will be chopping onion to fill a few hamburger centers.  I might even grate or chunk some of the last bits of cheddar I have for a few centers.  Just something novel that I am working at improving.  I won't be able to get center fills down tight until I have the time and resources to develop a technique.  Which means a lot of hamburgers.  Hmm, I could always offer the extras out to various families around town.  Not that they are even poor, it's just with six kids and two parents, I have to think mom loves even a partial night out of cooking.  There are three, wait four, families, that I know personally, who probably wouldn't mind a freebie.  Especially since they would be helping me out.  Oh, I'll have the things down pretty well before offering such a thing.  That will just be to cement the skill and know doneness.  Now, I like mine rare, but understand the flaws in that.  Instead, I go to a solid medium/medium rare... when I have the skills down.  It's been a while.

An half hour for the grill to heat up, then a steak.  Hmm, I should split out a couple of potatoes, into wedges, and put those on.  Yeah...  Later.