.
.
Beside not having eaten yet this morning, a few ideas about food have been floating in the upstairs goo factory for a while. Things I have meant to include in posts. The timing never seemed right, or I got caught up in other ideas.
The first is a new understanding. I had always thought that sashimi, aka human edible raw fish, needed to be fresh. Like right out of the water, right when being caught, or very close to it. I suppose that was true for a long time, especially before refrigeration. And, I would guess, it probably is the best, if also something most people cannot enjoy. Most of the world population does not live close enough to large bodies of water to enjoy raw fish before it goes bad. As such, at this time, the truth of sashimi grade fish is that it is supposed to be frozen. Caught fresh, frozen immediately after whatever form of cleaning, descaling, or such. Why does that matter? It means that, on a more or less level playing field, I can buy a fish, from time to time, with which to create a true sushimi dish. And there is some possibility that I might trust local shops a bit more to prepare such, if that is easier. Yes, boys and girls, I like "bait".
Another thing is... scotch eggs. I have been considering trying these, but... The first few recipes I reviewed for this food must have been pranks. There was no indication of whether to remove the shell when the eggs where still wet, and put them into the sausage shell or whether to hard/soft boil the eggs first, then crust them with the sausage. So hungry to try those at home, but no good instructions. It was just a thought, anyway, so I didn't really dig. Recently I found a more practical means of producing such foods. A picnic food, or so they say. Now, hard-boiled or soft, breading the eggs themselves, the sausage as this vid does, or both... many options. Still, here is one of many examples.
Oh, on this particular one, h/t AoSHQ (well, they didn't originate the thought, just reminded me this morning, still...)
There was something else. I have simply lost it. I might figure it out and add it later. As I mentioned, however, I am hungry. I didn't eat dinner last night. That might do well this morning. Hungry to be sure. Oh, and if you think of, or are introduced to some odd or different or even slightly spooky food? Give it a shot. You only live once... well... you being operative. Might as well explore. Explore while risk remains, curiosity is fresh, and opportunity exists. Later.
Monday, November 16, 2015
Rough, but a better rough?
.
.
Yep. That is as rightly as I can phrase it. I keep not taking meds, or dropping off. Not a choice thing, or ornery inclination, simply... I forget? Yeah. I'll start it up again today. All the dark, perhaps. The cool is creeping in as well. I am fighting, I am simply not winning. Thought that I am fighting means I am not losing, or worse just sleeping. I may be recovered from the day I pushed a bit too hard. Then again, I thought that if I got enough done I might be able to get out. Sometimes that works, not this time. I am going to hit a few things today. The dishes, trash, and recycling. The dishes just went for a hot second third soak for a second wash. Most of the trash and recycling is out. I won't even try to get the boxes out. Instead, I may break those down, put them in the back, and take them to the center in town. There are simply too many. I have not been keeping up on those at all.
Dreams of late. But not just... these have been different. A lost woman. But she isn't trying to kiss or kill me now. It is more like she is trying to, oh, come to some sort of agreement. She didn't like being forgotten. She seemed jealous of other women. A ghost in the machine that is me. I have been looking for a way to lover her, let her go, and move on. I don't think most will ever quite know that. Oh, sure, we, even I, have done that with people. But not with people who were forgotten to such an extent that their haunting was a terror. Even the memory of her had been buried. A child too, unborn or in the process. I still don't have many details, just feelings, and that she was a lovely woman, girl. We both had each other wrapped around our fingers. I had to go through something like this about other memories, and people. But a woman and child are so much closer than anyone else even can be.
I don't know what will happen. I just know that we have been talking and holding on in order to become familiar enough to finally let go, but in such a way that I don't simply forget, mostly. Being as close to a ghost as I am, and what else I am, memory isn't always available. And yet there should be more than night terrors, anger, doubts, and such. If I could remember her name I might even take a trip to where she was buried. I am not sure I ever went. Being in the Navy at the time, and keeping her off the charts, I doubt if I let anyone know. As well, I might have been gone, if I don't think so. Very shortly after, but I was there. This was required for anything else to happen. Of all the things, I think this was the most difficult to 'remember'. Easier in some ways. I am doing enough better that, when it came do, I just didn't ghost through the memories for a decade, as I did with the others. Bumping into to their ghosts and running away, or sleeping, or becoming so much more ill that I couldn't deal with it. More difficult, but being capable of facing it full time, much shorter. This might work itself out in short order, shorter order.
Yes, a few jobs today. But I don't want to push it as with last time. Trash, dishes, and bringing the hoses in. Tomorrow a shopping trip. I have been making sandwiches with the deli items. I have also been growing clove sprouts, which won't be ready until tomorrow. Just some added greens. I wish I had the forethought to set those up ahead of the purchase. The problem with that is, even if I plan to get out, I may not do that as scheduled. Remember, I have been trying to get out, even to SLC, for a week or more. Can't do what I wish, not always, and certainly not when I want. Still... I am saving the sandwich makings for when the sprouts finish and green. Just sounds good. Though I might also buy lettuce and onion. Crisp and sharp adds that final bit to a sandwich.
I best get on to waking. Later.
.
Yep. That is as rightly as I can phrase it. I keep not taking meds, or dropping off. Not a choice thing, or ornery inclination, simply... I forget? Yeah. I'll start it up again today. All the dark, perhaps. The cool is creeping in as well. I am fighting, I am simply not winning. Thought that I am fighting means I am not losing, or worse just sleeping. I may be recovered from the day I pushed a bit too hard. Then again, I thought that if I got enough done I might be able to get out. Sometimes that works, not this time. I am going to hit a few things today. The dishes, trash, and recycling. The dishes just went for a hot second third soak for a second wash. Most of the trash and recycling is out. I won't even try to get the boxes out. Instead, I may break those down, put them in the back, and take them to the center in town. There are simply too many. I have not been keeping up on those at all.
Dreams of late. But not just... these have been different. A lost woman. But she isn't trying to kiss or kill me now. It is more like she is trying to, oh, come to some sort of agreement. She didn't like being forgotten. She seemed jealous of other women. A ghost in the machine that is me. I have been looking for a way to lover her, let her go, and move on. I don't think most will ever quite know that. Oh, sure, we, even I, have done that with people. But not with people who were forgotten to such an extent that their haunting was a terror. Even the memory of her had been buried. A child too, unborn or in the process. I still don't have many details, just feelings, and that she was a lovely woman, girl. We both had each other wrapped around our fingers. I had to go through something like this about other memories, and people. But a woman and child are so much closer than anyone else even can be.
I don't know what will happen. I just know that we have been talking and holding on in order to become familiar enough to finally let go, but in such a way that I don't simply forget, mostly. Being as close to a ghost as I am, and what else I am, memory isn't always available. And yet there should be more than night terrors, anger, doubts, and such. If I could remember her name I might even take a trip to where she was buried. I am not sure I ever went. Being in the Navy at the time, and keeping her off the charts, I doubt if I let anyone know. As well, I might have been gone, if I don't think so. Very shortly after, but I was there. This was required for anything else to happen. Of all the things, I think this was the most difficult to 'remember'. Easier in some ways. I am doing enough better that, when it came do, I just didn't ghost through the memories for a decade, as I did with the others. Bumping into to their ghosts and running away, or sleeping, or becoming so much more ill that I couldn't deal with it. More difficult, but being capable of facing it full time, much shorter. This might work itself out in short order, shorter order.
Yes, a few jobs today. But I don't want to push it as with last time. Trash, dishes, and bringing the hoses in. Tomorrow a shopping trip. I have been making sandwiches with the deli items. I have also been growing clove sprouts, which won't be ready until tomorrow. Just some added greens. I wish I had the forethought to set those up ahead of the purchase. The problem with that is, even if I plan to get out, I may not do that as scheduled. Remember, I have been trying to get out, even to SLC, for a week or more. Can't do what I wish, not always, and certainly not when I want. Still... I am saving the sandwich makings for when the sprouts finish and green. Just sounds good. Though I might also buy lettuce and onion. Crisp and sharp adds that final bit to a sandwich.
I best get on to waking. Later.
Saturday, November 14, 2015
She had been working.
.
.
Given the givens, she can't do as much as she used to be able to do. And steps are too much. So she had... enticed, a woman actually, to help. Her bedroom is now on the ground floor and her house is getting neatened. As a favor, she cooked dinner for the woman, or women. A true treat, actually. So she wasn't able to get to the phone. I do understand.
I told her, after watching an episode of a show in which the last vid existed, that I thought immediately of her. She isn't familiar with the show, so I described the principle characters in the scene and how the scene played out. Oh, she got a kick out of it, and laughed, and cried, and... Glad I wasn't closer. All I'm saying. Though she suggested that only I could get away with such a... notion... I think she was being more diplomatic. And yet, I think she really did enjoy the sentiment, somehow. Anyway.
After all that, a fine discussion. She is doing better, or as better as better is these days. With age, medicine is more often discussed. But too, the good things. Oh, she knows I love her. It isn't just because I say so, it's in the voice, and eyes. Mothers have their witching ways, and like certain of their sons, can see right past the phone and into the eyes. Indeed. She always knew I had that too.
It's been a good day. Some things were done. I changed the water for the dishes once. I did a few other things. But I am sore. I wasn't so tired, really, just sore. Mostly my forearms, but not only there. I hope a bit more rest tomorrow, other then finishing the trash and maybe recycling, also taking out the not as easy to collect, and getting that all to the curb. I keep trying. Monday maybe more, and on to some business. Good night.
.
Given the givens, she can't do as much as she used to be able to do. And steps are too much. So she had... enticed, a woman actually, to help. Her bedroom is now on the ground floor and her house is getting neatened. As a favor, she cooked dinner for the woman, or women. A true treat, actually. So she wasn't able to get to the phone. I do understand.
I told her, after watching an episode of a show in which the last vid existed, that I thought immediately of her. She isn't familiar with the show, so I described the principle characters in the scene and how the scene played out. Oh, she got a kick out of it, and laughed, and cried, and... Glad I wasn't closer. All I'm saying. Though she suggested that only I could get away with such a... notion... I think she was being more diplomatic. And yet, I think she really did enjoy the sentiment, somehow. Anyway.
After all that, a fine discussion. She is doing better, or as better as better is these days. With age, medicine is more often discussed. But too, the good things. Oh, she knows I love her. It isn't just because I say so, it's in the voice, and eyes. Mothers have their witching ways, and like certain of their sons, can see right past the phone and into the eyes. Indeed. She always knew I had that too.
It's been a good day. Some things were done. I changed the water for the dishes once. I did a few other things. But I am sore. I wasn't so tired, really, just sore. Mostly my forearms, but not only there. I hope a bit more rest tomorrow, other then finishing the trash and maybe recycling, also taking out the not as easy to collect, and getting that all to the curb. I keep trying. Monday maybe more, and on to some business. Good night.
Thinking of mother.
.
.
They are the most jealous of creatures. And a bit of darkness resides in each. As it is, there are three who can claim that, if only one is called, only two remain alive. I called a bit ago, just went to voice message. Odd, though maybe she is working, or driving in heavier traffic, or napping. Or simply doesn't wish to speak to her sweet Ferg... Doom. No matter, I'll call later. Might not be the king of hell, but whoever one is, mother is... mother.
Any of them who watch this might well be so upset. Until or unless they get something for their pain. Witches! Love your mothers, I suppose. Just don't trust her. Even if she thinks she has your best interests at heart, what she will do to get her way is... Never mind. Do note, I still call. Mostly. And watch closely. Mostly laughing at the notions. Mostly is operative.
I can't do a whole lot today. My forearms are absolutely useless. The cramps aren't too bad. But the overworking, then the cramping, have combined left those areas so weak that pouring out of a gallon of milk is a bit of a test. I grew soft being down so long, then truly overextended, given my condition, yesterday. Lovely though. I enjoyed hitting as many areas as I hit, having food in the cave, my camera found and ready for a project, trash and recycling (the easy stuff) out, cat litter tended, dishes set, a load of laundry pushed through, and literally another dozen things, plus a trip to the post office and grocery store. Brutal though. I am hoping to keep doing, and have been if much less and slower today, and then kick back into fuller gear before long. At least once I can use my arms again. Ugh.
I grilled several steaks, and toasted some of the bread along with garlic powder and butter. Oh, man. When it has been a long time since I have eaten, and more eaten beef, it is a treasure. Oh, I've learned to like this and that and enjoy much else. It's just that I need fatty beef once in a while. More often if I could eat well, and afford it. This will do me for a bit. Oh, I used the bread I didn't care for as to sandwich making. It worked perfectly in this application, if I won't do this much, so... At least I won't waste it all.
I see the French are in trouble. A minority that is better armed than their police, in part because they simply wouldn't or couldn't refuse "immigrant communities" arms that not even their police forces have access to, and that in part because they have nearly completely disarmed their civilians. Now they are locking the sheep in with the wolves, hoping it will all work out. As a Buddhist I favor well recently said, there is no sleeping with rabid dogs. I honestly don't think it matters what the French think of their government, they simply don't have a means of changing it, or expelling the muslims. Best to start with government officials, but then... they were elected. Who, really, is to blame? Not my problem and there is nothing I can do about it.
I will pray that the French come to their senses before they lose their minds, or nation. Then again there are many lost causes I send prayers regarding. I know there will always be the poor, and yet I pray for them. I cannot undo what Christ has noted. I pray for peace, knowing likewise that there will always be war and rumors of war, especially if what I suggest is my nature has any truth, but even so. My Lord has stated that to be the case as well. Though these things, neither, should be a great worry. Only things to resist, if not to lose oneself resisting. Only to do what little we can in true faith, and in hope, to the tune of charity. No more. No less. So, I pray. Secular versus a false faith, and it is obvious which will win if nothing is done, or even too little is done. Not my concern, in the end.
Up at 16:00. I'll try to make it a few more hours. I may call mother, again, shortly. See if her royal highness has a moment for her beloved child. *grins* Later.
.
They are the most jealous of creatures. And a bit of darkness resides in each. As it is, there are three who can claim that, if only one is called, only two remain alive. I called a bit ago, just went to voice message. Odd, though maybe she is working, or driving in heavier traffic, or napping. Or simply doesn't wish to speak to her sweet Ferg... Doom. No matter, I'll call later. Might not be the king of hell, but whoever one is, mother is... mother.
Any of them who watch this might well be so upset. Until or unless they get something for their pain. Witches! Love your mothers, I suppose. Just don't trust her. Even if she thinks she has your best interests at heart, what she will do to get her way is... Never mind. Do note, I still call. Mostly. And watch closely. Mostly laughing at the notions. Mostly is operative.
I can't do a whole lot today. My forearms are absolutely useless. The cramps aren't too bad. But the overworking, then the cramping, have combined left those areas so weak that pouring out of a gallon of milk is a bit of a test. I grew soft being down so long, then truly overextended, given my condition, yesterday. Lovely though. I enjoyed hitting as many areas as I hit, having food in the cave, my camera found and ready for a project, trash and recycling (the easy stuff) out, cat litter tended, dishes set, a load of laundry pushed through, and literally another dozen things, plus a trip to the post office and grocery store. Brutal though. I am hoping to keep doing, and have been if much less and slower today, and then kick back into fuller gear before long. At least once I can use my arms again. Ugh.
I grilled several steaks, and toasted some of the bread along with garlic powder and butter. Oh, man. When it has been a long time since I have eaten, and more eaten beef, it is a treasure. Oh, I've learned to like this and that and enjoy much else. It's just that I need fatty beef once in a while. More often if I could eat well, and afford it. This will do me for a bit. Oh, I used the bread I didn't care for as to sandwich making. It worked perfectly in this application, if I won't do this much, so... At least I won't waste it all.
I see the French are in trouble. A minority that is better armed than their police, in part because they simply wouldn't or couldn't refuse "immigrant communities" arms that not even their police forces have access to, and that in part because they have nearly completely disarmed their civilians. Now they are locking the sheep in with the wolves, hoping it will all work out. As a Buddhist I favor well recently said, there is no sleeping with rabid dogs. I honestly don't think it matters what the French think of their government, they simply don't have a means of changing it, or expelling the muslims. Best to start with government officials, but then... they were elected. Who, really, is to blame? Not my problem and there is nothing I can do about it.
I will pray that the French come to their senses before they lose their minds, or nation. Then again there are many lost causes I send prayers regarding. I know there will always be the poor, and yet I pray for them. I cannot undo what Christ has noted. I pray for peace, knowing likewise that there will always be war and rumors of war, especially if what I suggest is my nature has any truth, but even so. My Lord has stated that to be the case as well. Though these things, neither, should be a great worry. Only things to resist, if not to lose oneself resisting. Only to do what little we can in true faith, and in hope, to the tune of charity. No more. No less. So, I pray. Secular versus a false faith, and it is obvious which will win if nothing is done, or even too little is done. Not my concern, in the end.
Up at 16:00. I'll try to make it a few more hours. I may call mother, again, shortly. See if her royal highness has a moment for her beloved child. *grins* Later.
Not everything works out.
.
.
The lens I purchased doesn't seem to be panning out. I checked glass clarity immediately upon opening. That seemed fine, though scads of photos would be an additional piece of evidence. After arriving home with the goods and shopping, putting everything up, and settling in, I didn't have the energy to try to new lens. While waking, though, I was quite curious.
The thing with old glass on newer bodies is that they don't talk. You have to do some of the leg work. It IS an af lens, but the new bodies don't understand what they are. You can program the new lens, to a very minor degree. The maximum aperture is simple enough, but with a zoom lens... only one focal length can be entered. Mine, for example, runs from 35 to 70 mm. So... what to put in? I did a minor bit of research. The middle point, it was suggested, in several sources, was the way to go. Done. Now... I ran with it. Nothing was doing anything, which was, sort of, fine. I figured I would have to work with this lens in mostly manual, all manual I suspected. And yet I could not get it to perform. I could not bring it into focus. I will do a bit more research. Perhaps the lens did break in transit, or wasn't working when sent. I will tinker with it for a few more days. If I can't get anything clean from it, no matter how good it can be or should be, I will simply have to return it. I may have to find a more local shop for lenses. Since the economy took a major dump, the local middling college town stopped having (as far as I have been able to find) a photo shop. The next town that might/should have such a shop is about an hour drive. I suppose, if I don't have to do it on a timed basis, I might, eventually, be able to make it there. Just to see the lens before buying, no shipping or returns. If the clerk can't bring it into focus, take some photos, and then I see those on the laptop (if I can get that right), then I won't buy. Can't trust anyone, though that isn't new.
I'll tinker a bit more, just not at night. I'll wait until daylight, maybe even go outside. I'll compare and contrast with the prime. I am a noob. Noobs are teh stupid. Which is fine. Ignorance isn't truly stupidity, at least if you work to rectify that. Only if ignorance is a choice is it a form of stupidity. Though if someone is too weak to be escape ignorance, they need that mansplained and then they need to shut up. Only if they can't learn. If they can, they need to get to it, or again shut up. Choices. Can't have both. Men hammer each other over that, and it works. Not so with women, or even very many men these days. Politeness is supposed to trump function, and fail is the obvious cost. Bleh. Anyway, I'll tinker. Might be me. With a little help, study, practice, and such, I should be able to figure this out in the next few days. Oh, and I best find the battery charger and get the extra camera battery going. I have plenty of AA and AAA batteries, which will also work, but that gets spendy and annoying in the long term. Still, if all else fails, that's why I have those.
All I know is if this fails, try that. If that fails too, improvise. If it all fails, reconsider your wants, needs, direction, speed, and all else. If you have no other choice, then find the way. If it really must be done, guess what? It will be done. If not, then it's just you. It all seems so simple. If that is very false. Ask and you shall receive if God helps he who helps himself. Both are true, they flavor, modify, each other.
Sandwich time! I might butter the roll, and grill that, but the rest will be cold. I think I have mayo, perhaps sparkly Italian dressing too. Ah, but no lettuce. I did forget that. Maybe next time I am in. Even kale on that ain't too bad, if you don't mind a little chew. Oh? No editing. I'm not quite able right lately. Later.
.
The lens I purchased doesn't seem to be panning out. I checked glass clarity immediately upon opening. That seemed fine, though scads of photos would be an additional piece of evidence. After arriving home with the goods and shopping, putting everything up, and settling in, I didn't have the energy to try to new lens. While waking, though, I was quite curious.
The thing with old glass on newer bodies is that they don't talk. You have to do some of the leg work. It IS an af lens, but the new bodies don't understand what they are. You can program the new lens, to a very minor degree. The maximum aperture is simple enough, but with a zoom lens... only one focal length can be entered. Mine, for example, runs from 35 to 70 mm. So... what to put in? I did a minor bit of research. The middle point, it was suggested, in several sources, was the way to go. Done. Now... I ran with it. Nothing was doing anything, which was, sort of, fine. I figured I would have to work with this lens in mostly manual, all manual I suspected. And yet I could not get it to perform. I could not bring it into focus. I will do a bit more research. Perhaps the lens did break in transit, or wasn't working when sent. I will tinker with it for a few more days. If I can't get anything clean from it, no matter how good it can be or should be, I will simply have to return it. I may have to find a more local shop for lenses. Since the economy took a major dump, the local middling college town stopped having (as far as I have been able to find) a photo shop. The next town that might/should have such a shop is about an hour drive. I suppose, if I don't have to do it on a timed basis, I might, eventually, be able to make it there. Just to see the lens before buying, no shipping or returns. If the clerk can't bring it into focus, take some photos, and then I see those on the laptop (if I can get that right), then I won't buy. Can't trust anyone, though that isn't new.
I'll tinker a bit more, just not at night. I'll wait until daylight, maybe even go outside. I'll compare and contrast with the prime. I am a noob. Noobs are teh stupid. Which is fine. Ignorance isn't truly stupidity, at least if you work to rectify that. Only if ignorance is a choice is it a form of stupidity. Though if someone is too weak to be escape ignorance, they need that mansplained and then they need to shut up. Only if they can't learn. If they can, they need to get to it, or again shut up. Choices. Can't have both. Men hammer each other over that, and it works. Not so with women, or even very many men these days. Politeness is supposed to trump function, and fail is the obvious cost. Bleh. Anyway, I'll tinker. Might be me. With a little help, study, practice, and such, I should be able to figure this out in the next few days. Oh, and I best find the battery charger and get the extra camera battery going. I have plenty of AA and AAA batteries, which will also work, but that gets spendy and annoying in the long term. Still, if all else fails, that's why I have those.
All I know is if this fails, try that. If that fails too, improvise. If it all fails, reconsider your wants, needs, direction, speed, and all else. If you have no other choice, then find the way. If it really must be done, guess what? It will be done. If not, then it's just you. It all seems so simple. If that is very false. Ask and you shall receive if God helps he who helps himself. Both are true, they flavor, modify, each other.
Sandwich time! I might butter the roll, and grill that, but the rest will be cold. I think I have mayo, perhaps sparkly Italian dressing too. Ah, but no lettuce. I did forget that. Maybe next time I am in. Even kale on that ain't too bad, if you don't mind a little chew. Oh? No editing. I'm not quite able right lately. Later.
A little work seemed to help.
.
.
I have, along with all else, been pushing to move my day into daylight hours, or closer. With the work that was done yesterday I moved the goal post between two and three hours toward my goal. Only four to five more hours to go. And actually I had been sliding backwards on that.
I did more yesterday than accounted. Some bigger and smaller jobs, three average if averaged. Not bad, really. However, today, my forearms are cramping. It started yesterday afternoon. I can still do a few things today, just not bigger things. Hmm, I can find more trash bags though. Oh, and I found my camera. So... I do have stuff go missing, it just isn't stuff for insurance company consideration. Boxes of trash bags, zip-lock bags, little things like that. So I'm pretty sure it's small domestic use, or just something a kid finds interesting. They leave the bigger items, but don't mind borrowing other things. More annoying, usually, than anything else. Still, I best not catch them. And, no, I wouldn't shoot first. If they tried to run I might well attempt to tackle, which in real terms, might be worse. Even with solid efforts at not actually harming. While a thief is a thief, there are... layers, depths, differences.
Ah, I wanted to find my camera, actually, to begin taking pictures, before and after. Both as a photographic project and as an incentive to do more and keep going. Will any of it happen? Don't know. I do know I have my camera, a decent lens, a secondary lens (which at 35 to 70, with the cropping, is 52.5 to 105 mm (sort of... not quite as direct, and more visual than actual... never mind, just trust me, sort of)). Well, and that makes the 50 mm prime act more like a 75 mm. The latter is feet focused, the former has some on camera adjustments. And the lighting in here is atrocious, which is excellent as a starter lab for low-light work, well and lighting. Next month or the month after I plan on buying off-camera potential speedlights, with diffusers and a small kit really. It isn't just the cave I hope to target, but foods as I work on things. Perhaps a photo journal/recipe card for producing kefir, photos of my favorite little home cooked/made items. Pictures of the girls being girls. Even out into my yard, and as it begins to snow.
What makes a photographer good, or possibly great? It isn't the best body or glass, the snazziest pro classes, or youtube vids... it's take the camera out, learning to adjust for this and that, and snapping until your fingers are sore while pulling from the lot, keeping in mind the shots and how or why this or that proved to tell the story more surely, and how it was able to be captured, then making that repeatable. After that, there comes even more in-depth technicals, followed by improving storytelling, and back and forth until you die. If you are ever as good as you can get you might as well quit photography. It, like all other skills, is always a work in progress. Or you begin losing your skills. It's that simple.
Oh, great. First thing this morning? Not one but two bloody noses. I wasn't thinking when I went to gargle after brushing. You do realize proper gargling requires, at least for me, a closed mouth. And, you do realize, if you didn't think to gulp air before hand, that closing your mouth with your nose blocked with tp means no blowholes? Yep. I held out for 15 seconds, but I must have just exhaled before I started gargling. No air is no air, no matter how big your lungs air. *splat* :p
Later.
.
I have, along with all else, been pushing to move my day into daylight hours, or closer. With the work that was done yesterday I moved the goal post between two and three hours toward my goal. Only four to five more hours to go. And actually I had been sliding backwards on that.
I did more yesterday than accounted. Some bigger and smaller jobs, three average if averaged. Not bad, really. However, today, my forearms are cramping. It started yesterday afternoon. I can still do a few things today, just not bigger things. Hmm, I can find more trash bags though. Oh, and I found my camera. So... I do have stuff go missing, it just isn't stuff for insurance company consideration. Boxes of trash bags, zip-lock bags, little things like that. So I'm pretty sure it's small domestic use, or just something a kid finds interesting. They leave the bigger items, but don't mind borrowing other things. More annoying, usually, than anything else. Still, I best not catch them. And, no, I wouldn't shoot first. If they tried to run I might well attempt to tackle, which in real terms, might be worse. Even with solid efforts at not actually harming. While a thief is a thief, there are... layers, depths, differences.
Ah, I wanted to find my camera, actually, to begin taking pictures, before and after. Both as a photographic project and as an incentive to do more and keep going. Will any of it happen? Don't know. I do know I have my camera, a decent lens, a secondary lens (which at 35 to 70, with the cropping, is 52.5 to 105 mm (sort of... not quite as direct, and more visual than actual... never mind, just trust me, sort of)). Well, and that makes the 50 mm prime act more like a 75 mm. The latter is feet focused, the former has some on camera adjustments. And the lighting in here is atrocious, which is excellent as a starter lab for low-light work, well and lighting. Next month or the month after I plan on buying off-camera potential speedlights, with diffusers and a small kit really. It isn't just the cave I hope to target, but foods as I work on things. Perhaps a photo journal/recipe card for producing kefir, photos of my favorite little home cooked/made items. Pictures of the girls being girls. Even out into my yard, and as it begins to snow.
What makes a photographer good, or possibly great? It isn't the best body or glass, the snazziest pro classes, or youtube vids... it's take the camera out, learning to adjust for this and that, and snapping until your fingers are sore while pulling from the lot, keeping in mind the shots and how or why this or that proved to tell the story more surely, and how it was able to be captured, then making that repeatable. After that, there comes even more in-depth technicals, followed by improving storytelling, and back and forth until you die. If you are ever as good as you can get you might as well quit photography. It, like all other skills, is always a work in progress. Or you begin losing your skills. It's that simple.
Oh, great. First thing this morning? Not one but two bloody noses. I wasn't thinking when I went to gargle after brushing. You do realize proper gargling requires, at least for me, a closed mouth. And, you do realize, if you didn't think to gulp air before hand, that closing your mouth with your nose blocked with tp means no blowholes? Yep. I held out for 15 seconds, but I must have just exhaled before I started gargling. No air is no air, no matter how big your lungs air. *splat* :p
Later.
Friday, November 13, 2015
Much done.
.
.
It beat me up. I am both sore and getting tired. Everything had come to a stop, again, a bit ago. Today, and really to a degree yesterday, I set things back in motion. No, I didn't get what I had been hoping to get done. There is to much for a day, two days, even a week of heavy work. What I did is what I could, what had to be done, and what will help.
Showering was quite good, again. Being groomed and dressed, then out, was a gift of it's own. I made it to the post office where I had a number of items. I missed one item. I should have signed for it, but I wasn't in shape to realize I could do it. Yeah, really. I will have a few more items next week.
After that I headed to town. Groceries, mostly. Nothing fancy. But I wanted some easy food, but good food, and of course the staples I truly enjoy. Milk! I haven't had milk for... a while. I also found ribeyes on deep discounts, and some other beef. I haven't been able to afford beef for quite a while now. I can't buy, won't buy, steak for more than $7~$8. Heck, last time I checked chuck roasts were at that, and no, I won't buy any meat at that price. The beef industry is going to have to go through some growing pains. This isn't Japan. I found steak for $6 per, chuck roasts for $3.50, and hamburger for $3.50. I wasn't as happy with the hamburger, but that sure beat the $4.50~$5.50 it has been. I feel sorry for meat departments. I know they have taken a drubbing. Nothing they can do until production ramps up, and that will require things that aren't in their control to balance out. Drought first, then the exorbitant cost of feed from and added to the drought, then a sell off. Now to rebuild stocks, all with a government, local and federal often, who are anti-beef. Hell, ranchers are being treated like terrorists!
Anyway. Oh, but before all that, of course, I did take a shower. Then cleaned out the kitchen sinks, taking the dishes into the tub in tub operation. When there are too many, or it is more convenient, that just works. I don't know if I can get to them today, but... sooner than the last set it is hoped. And I did tear into boxes. More organizing them for an eventual run at them. I was also looking for my camera. So far I haven't been able to find the camera, and I am a bit worried. Where I was almost certain it would be... I'll look more soon. Worst case, I turn it in to my insurance company, along with some other things. I've been avoiding that, but... I hope I find it.
I purchased a new lens, my first telephoto, a 35-70 (x1.5 due to crop factor) f/2.8D. No, only available used. I've actually been spending time looking at new and/or old glass that works well with my system. Once every six months to a year I will buy a new lens, until I am happy... or die. I might also pick up, say, a d52/5300, as a... grab, run, shoot, without as much worry about damage. And it takes all the same glass. Or, if need be, it's always nice to have a backup. Much of the gear is crossover, even the memory chips... I think. Oh, since it was used, and a "value find", I did buy another lens. both lenses together were less than my 50mm prime, which is less expensive than most even kit lenses. Yeah, I did my research. I have a small list, though not all are that inexpensive. The most expensive glass on my list is about $800, the majority are in the $150~$300 range. I would say, currently, I have about four or five on my short list. These are budget (for what they offer), gems in hiding sort of... a three year procurement project. Those glass will allow me to explore every type of photography in at least a fairly general way. If I like, then I might go deeper on glass, or a set of that for various specifics beyond the general. Yeah... But that is the idea.
Ah, and, yes, I used some of the food I purchased. I have, for the first time in my life, over the last six months, noticed there is more to an oven than just roasting and baking. The broiler! I stopped at the deli. I tried various roast beef types, choosing home-style easily. Then added a few slices of various salamis and cheeses. Stopped at the bakery and bought rolls and hoagies. Yeah, but I have had so few carbs, or anything really lately, that I just didn't mind. I turned one batch of the various items into a sandwich, then broiled... almost too much. I'll need to practice with that. Mine, on high, is FAST. Still, it worked. Oh, and smoked gouda and creamy havarti with roast beef, genoa and hard salami, on a right sandwich roll? S-a-weet! And to think I thought about buying a sandwich in town. No, nothing wrong with that, at the right store. But I needed this, homemade, mostly, and hot and fresh. Just something about, sort of, cooking at home.
Well, time for me to begin pulling back and backing down. Sleep is needed, if I do have to chill just a bit longer. I hope to get the geese delivered tomorrow. I just had too much backing up, on top of the limit to my endeavors, to get out. We will see how caught up and able I become in the next day or three. It sucks to be a cripple from time to time. But that's just how it goes. Good night.
.
It beat me up. I am both sore and getting tired. Everything had come to a stop, again, a bit ago. Today, and really to a degree yesterday, I set things back in motion. No, I didn't get what I had been hoping to get done. There is to much for a day, two days, even a week of heavy work. What I did is what I could, what had to be done, and what will help.
Showering was quite good, again. Being groomed and dressed, then out, was a gift of it's own. I made it to the post office where I had a number of items. I missed one item. I should have signed for it, but I wasn't in shape to realize I could do it. Yeah, really. I will have a few more items next week.
After that I headed to town. Groceries, mostly. Nothing fancy. But I wanted some easy food, but good food, and of course the staples I truly enjoy. Milk! I haven't had milk for... a while. I also found ribeyes on deep discounts, and some other beef. I haven't been able to afford beef for quite a while now. I can't buy, won't buy, steak for more than $7~$8. Heck, last time I checked chuck roasts were at that, and no, I won't buy any meat at that price. The beef industry is going to have to go through some growing pains. This isn't Japan. I found steak for $6 per, chuck roasts for $3.50, and hamburger for $3.50. I wasn't as happy with the hamburger, but that sure beat the $4.50~$5.50 it has been. I feel sorry for meat departments. I know they have taken a drubbing. Nothing they can do until production ramps up, and that will require things that aren't in their control to balance out. Drought first, then the exorbitant cost of feed from and added to the drought, then a sell off. Now to rebuild stocks, all with a government, local and federal often, who are anti-beef. Hell, ranchers are being treated like terrorists!
Anyway. Oh, but before all that, of course, I did take a shower. Then cleaned out the kitchen sinks, taking the dishes into the tub in tub operation. When there are too many, or it is more convenient, that just works. I don't know if I can get to them today, but... sooner than the last set it is hoped. And I did tear into boxes. More organizing them for an eventual run at them. I was also looking for my camera. So far I haven't been able to find the camera, and I am a bit worried. Where I was almost certain it would be... I'll look more soon. Worst case, I turn it in to my insurance company, along with some other things. I've been avoiding that, but... I hope I find it.
I purchased a new lens, my first telephoto, a 35-70 (x1.5 due to crop factor) f/2.8D. No, only available used. I've actually been spending time looking at new and/or old glass that works well with my system. Once every six months to a year I will buy a new lens, until I am happy... or die. I might also pick up, say, a d52/5300, as a... grab, run, shoot, without as much worry about damage. And it takes all the same glass. Or, if need be, it's always nice to have a backup. Much of the gear is crossover, even the memory chips... I think. Oh, since it was used, and a "value find", I did buy another lens. both lenses together were less than my 50mm prime, which is less expensive than most even kit lenses. Yeah, I did my research. I have a small list, though not all are that inexpensive. The most expensive glass on my list is about $800, the majority are in the $150~$300 range. I would say, currently, I have about four or five on my short list. These are budget (for what they offer), gems in hiding sort of... a three year procurement project. Those glass will allow me to explore every type of photography in at least a fairly general way. If I like, then I might go deeper on glass, or a set of that for various specifics beyond the general. Yeah... But that is the idea.
Ah, and, yes, I used some of the food I purchased. I have, for the first time in my life, over the last six months, noticed there is more to an oven than just roasting and baking. The broiler! I stopped at the deli. I tried various roast beef types, choosing home-style easily. Then added a few slices of various salamis and cheeses. Stopped at the bakery and bought rolls and hoagies. Yeah, but I have had so few carbs, or anything really lately, that I just didn't mind. I turned one batch of the various items into a sandwich, then broiled... almost too much. I'll need to practice with that. Mine, on high, is FAST. Still, it worked. Oh, and smoked gouda and creamy havarti with roast beef, genoa and hard salami, on a right sandwich roll? S-a-weet! And to think I thought about buying a sandwich in town. No, nothing wrong with that, at the right store. But I needed this, homemade, mostly, and hot and fresh. Just something about, sort of, cooking at home.
Well, time for me to begin pulling back and backing down. Sleep is needed, if I do have to chill just a bit longer. I hope to get the geese delivered tomorrow. I just had too much backing up, on top of the limit to my endeavors, to get out. We will see how caught up and able I become in the next day or three. It sucks to be a cripple from time to time. But that's just how it goes. Good night.
A fine start.
.
.
So many things had backlogged. Not just travel and seeing my friend. The computer construction came to a dead stop, the geese (while still nicely frozen) are just... well... sitting there, and other things simply haven't been attended. It has been very off this summer through now, though it was getting better a few weeks back. Then another drop. Fall shifting toward winter, too much on my plate, too big of bites on my part, it all just added up to another dip. Even so, these dips are complete losses. Just... dips, not drops. I don't have to actually get up from these, merely figure out how to get going again. Big difference. Just as frustrating, though a lot less painful to recover.
In recovery, or while attempting it, the want of tobacco hits the hardest. Nicotine is the only known drug that can give a high or a low and that be based on the will of the user. Yes, boys and girls, it is a very unique drug. It is mild enough that it really shouldn't be as addictive as it is. It is that little part about choice that makes it so darned difficult to quit. Imagine if when drinking coffee you could use it, by choice, as easily to help wake you as to put you to sleep at night? In spite of that, there is no real temptation. Just a blind want that sneaks up on me once to three times a month. It usually leads to a bit more physical hunger. Until I realize what it is, it is nearly inconsolable. But, yeah, no. That should get easier through time.
After the shower and dry time, I did make it to town. Nothing fancy. I had thought to attempt shopping. I just didn't have that in me. A bite to eat, then back home, nothing more. As little as that was, it was fine. Just to be clean, groomed, and fed... life, a good life, can easily be that simple when you are sometimes forced to live without one or all of those things. I am hoping to make it to the post office, and then on to some shopping, in the morning proper. I forgot to take anacin, sort of. I was almost hoping the pain would cease on it's own. Not so much. So, after returning, and more to deal with it as an annoyance, I took a small handful of the things. It's not like I do that more than a few times a month, often ignoring pain and sometimes serious pain.
I dreamed last night. I was living in a world in which men and women no longer married, ever. But it was as if I didn't get the memo. Everyone laughed at my notions, sort of, behind my back. Though there was some sympathy, and even joy, that someone could be so simple or naive still. It wasn't totally cruel. As in real life, I purchased a home, and tried to get it arranged. As in real life, I had a heck of a time keeping it sorted. While buying a home, in real or dream life, wasn't so much about making an offering to a prospective woman to make her a wife as it was about beginning to live the life of the husband type. The home, itself, is a commitment. Being a married man is being a slave, to a degree. A servant, certainly. And not just in flesh or of coin, but of will and ways. It means surrendering the wanderlust, some curiosity in "out there", and other such things.
And darned if a good woman isn't worth the cost. If you can find one. Also, in the dream, as in life and sometimes on this blog, I have expressed just how much you may have to do, as a man, to keep her. Animal husbandry and people husbandry... it's not all pheromones and sweet-spots. As much as anything, it is making sure that all the right actors are in the right places when everything important is supposed to happen. It is making it so. It isn't always pretty, or nice. And yet, it really is, if only when done rightly, what makes the world go around. As failingly as that happens, it is as good as it gets, when done right. When done wrong hell on earth can be seen from it, is produced by it.
I am sure, in life and from the dream, that I know the right way. I won't say I'll hit that out of the park every time, only that I know what I am supposed to do. And, finally, I am quite willing to do my best at... nailing it. I am fully on board, if I am not perfect yet. Working on it though. Now to find a woman who wants to work on it as individuals, together, then as a family. Golden.
Well... a bit of reading and goofing, then maybe a bit of this and that in the real morning. But I won't be able to go anywhere, or do daytime things at a distance, for a while. I have decades. And with a good woman more and better. I can manage a woman and more, with a little help from my friends, and a house too. If she does her part. You know, with forty years in me? I might leave her ready for a rest at my passing. You know I want to go out with a smile. And I've never known a woman who hasn't wanted to love me just to death. Daydreaming, perhaps.
Later.
.
So many things had backlogged. Not just travel and seeing my friend. The computer construction came to a dead stop, the geese (while still nicely frozen) are just... well... sitting there, and other things simply haven't been attended. It has been very off this summer through now, though it was getting better a few weeks back. Then another drop. Fall shifting toward winter, too much on my plate, too big of bites on my part, it all just added up to another dip. Even so, these dips are complete losses. Just... dips, not drops. I don't have to actually get up from these, merely figure out how to get going again. Big difference. Just as frustrating, though a lot less painful to recover.
In recovery, or while attempting it, the want of tobacco hits the hardest. Nicotine is the only known drug that can give a high or a low and that be based on the will of the user. Yes, boys and girls, it is a very unique drug. It is mild enough that it really shouldn't be as addictive as it is. It is that little part about choice that makes it so darned difficult to quit. Imagine if when drinking coffee you could use it, by choice, as easily to help wake you as to put you to sleep at night? In spite of that, there is no real temptation. Just a blind want that sneaks up on me once to three times a month. It usually leads to a bit more physical hunger. Until I realize what it is, it is nearly inconsolable. But, yeah, no. That should get easier through time.
After the shower and dry time, I did make it to town. Nothing fancy. I had thought to attempt shopping. I just didn't have that in me. A bite to eat, then back home, nothing more. As little as that was, it was fine. Just to be clean, groomed, and fed... life, a good life, can easily be that simple when you are sometimes forced to live without one or all of those things. I am hoping to make it to the post office, and then on to some shopping, in the morning proper. I forgot to take anacin, sort of. I was almost hoping the pain would cease on it's own. Not so much. So, after returning, and more to deal with it as an annoyance, I took a small handful of the things. It's not like I do that more than a few times a month, often ignoring pain and sometimes serious pain.
I dreamed last night. I was living in a world in which men and women no longer married, ever. But it was as if I didn't get the memo. Everyone laughed at my notions, sort of, behind my back. Though there was some sympathy, and even joy, that someone could be so simple or naive still. It wasn't totally cruel. As in real life, I purchased a home, and tried to get it arranged. As in real life, I had a heck of a time keeping it sorted. While buying a home, in real or dream life, wasn't so much about making an offering to a prospective woman to make her a wife as it was about beginning to live the life of the husband type. The home, itself, is a commitment. Being a married man is being a slave, to a degree. A servant, certainly. And not just in flesh or of coin, but of will and ways. It means surrendering the wanderlust, some curiosity in "out there", and other such things.
And darned if a good woman isn't worth the cost. If you can find one. Also, in the dream, as in life and sometimes on this blog, I have expressed just how much you may have to do, as a man, to keep her. Animal husbandry and people husbandry... it's not all pheromones and sweet-spots. As much as anything, it is making sure that all the right actors are in the right places when everything important is supposed to happen. It is making it so. It isn't always pretty, or nice. And yet, it really is, if only when done rightly, what makes the world go around. As failingly as that happens, it is as good as it gets, when done right. When done wrong hell on earth can be seen from it, is produced by it.
I am sure, in life and from the dream, that I know the right way. I won't say I'll hit that out of the park every time, only that I know what I am supposed to do. And, finally, I am quite willing to do my best at... nailing it. I am fully on board, if I am not perfect yet. Working on it though. Now to find a woman who wants to work on it as individuals, together, then as a family. Golden.
Well... a bit of reading and goofing, then maybe a bit of this and that in the real morning. But I won't be able to go anywhere, or do daytime things at a distance, for a while. I have decades. And with a good woman more and better. I can manage a woman and more, with a little help from my friends, and a house too. If she does her part. You know, with forty years in me? I might leave her ready for a rest at my passing. You know I want to go out with a smile. And I've never known a woman who hasn't wanted to love me just to death. Daydreaming, perhaps.
Later.
Ouch!
.
.
No, I didn't get out. I have been pouring as much gas as I had onto the fire to try to push events. It turns out I only burned myself. I never did get my hours right. Any progress I made collapsed in the last few days. Medicine is still hit in miss, though more because there is some other problem than just an item issue. I've fallen and I can't get up, basically. Oh, I'll be fine. It just bothers me when I really want/need to do something and knowing that, at least on my own, I might not be able to do it, at least if it is really time sensitive.
I hope to make a call today. To find out condition. The other friend was supposed to call, then call me back. I have heard nothing.
Sleep of late has been that dry harsh stuff that just allows me to get through life. It isn't the rich settling calming good stuff. For a month or more I have just simply been getting just exactly the absolute minimum, no matter how long or short I sleep, and nothing more. Even so, this isn't an actual complaint. It so beats sleeping for days and not even really sleeping, or staying up for many days but not being awake, then going back and forth in that for months. Still, it's not as good as what I have generally known these last four or five years.
When I woke I decided to hit the shower right away. After I dry, I may shave. Just using the trimmer this morning, I don't feel like trying to mow down the forest with a herring! Then maybe a trip to town. I have been eating bits and smatterings of this and that. I wouldn't want my mom to know. Canned bread, pickled pork hocks, olives, and omelets once in a while, when I can stand to stand long enough. Those canned hog brains I ordered recently are even being viewed with a strange sort of fearful curiosity only deep hunger can produce. I might just run to town tonight, for something to eat, then go back in the morning for shopping and to check the mail. I think something is in. I missed one item, don't want to miss another.
Yes, it is rough. I am not the only one in trouble, if I think my friends are in far more serious trouble. All of us, this time, have heart issues. They are in their 70's though, which suggests that there is a way through, as I had suspected. I really need to call about my friend. I could drive, I just couldn't find the hospital, then his room, then find an hotel or lodging, and make subsequent trips back and forth to the hospital. My schedule is off, and even getting going has proven out of my reach. Frustrating. But it is what it is. humbling as that is.
Yeah, and I hurt this morning. Sinuses? Just a headache? General ache from exhaustion is there too. I'm not awake enough, quite yet, to get a grip on what the problem is. I might take some otc painkillers though. More that the pain is annoying while I am confused than that the pain is too much.
Later.
.
No, I didn't get out. I have been pouring as much gas as I had onto the fire to try to push events. It turns out I only burned myself. I never did get my hours right. Any progress I made collapsed in the last few days. Medicine is still hit in miss, though more because there is some other problem than just an item issue. I've fallen and I can't get up, basically. Oh, I'll be fine. It just bothers me when I really want/need to do something and knowing that, at least on my own, I might not be able to do it, at least if it is really time sensitive.
I hope to make a call today. To find out condition. The other friend was supposed to call, then call me back. I have heard nothing.
Sleep of late has been that dry harsh stuff that just allows me to get through life. It isn't the rich settling calming good stuff. For a month or more I have just simply been getting just exactly the absolute minimum, no matter how long or short I sleep, and nothing more. Even so, this isn't an actual complaint. It so beats sleeping for days and not even really sleeping, or staying up for many days but not being awake, then going back and forth in that for months. Still, it's not as good as what I have generally known these last four or five years.
When I woke I decided to hit the shower right away. After I dry, I may shave. Just using the trimmer this morning, I don't feel like trying to mow down the forest with a herring! Then maybe a trip to town. I have been eating bits and smatterings of this and that. I wouldn't want my mom to know. Canned bread, pickled pork hocks, olives, and omelets once in a while, when I can stand to stand long enough. Those canned hog brains I ordered recently are even being viewed with a strange sort of fearful curiosity only deep hunger can produce. I might just run to town tonight, for something to eat, then go back in the morning for shopping and to check the mail. I think something is in. I missed one item, don't want to miss another.
Yes, it is rough. I am not the only one in trouble, if I think my friends are in far more serious trouble. All of us, this time, have heart issues. They are in their 70's though, which suggests that there is a way through, as I had suspected. I really need to call about my friend. I could drive, I just couldn't find the hospital, then his room, then find an hotel or lodging, and make subsequent trips back and forth to the hospital. My schedule is off, and even getting going has proven out of my reach. Frustrating. But it is what it is. humbling as that is.
Yeah, and I hurt this morning. Sinuses? Just a headache? General ache from exhaustion is there too. I'm not awake enough, quite yet, to get a grip on what the problem is. I might take some otc painkillers though. More that the pain is annoying while I am confused than that the pain is too much.
Later.
Wednesday, November 11, 2015
Gah!
.
.
Sleep was too off to make it out today. And there are some other issues. I have to see about figuring some things out and getting out today. Medicine has been spotty. It's not that I mean it to be. But when things are off, choices aren't exactly available. What happens, happens. I did a load of laundry, a few things I wanted, for sure, for the trip. I need some food, so might head out for a bite. I will need to shower and shave, though I can shave later. It's sort of a messy time to try to be doing anything, but especially a random outing with no set plans, a need for an eye on the budget, medicine and sleep still off kilter, all while trying to figure out some other things on the side. Brutal and ugly.
I am feeling good, and it is all improving. I am running fairly well for purely survival issues. Just that adding anything extra is shorting something in the machine. I'll keep at it. Hopefully I can head out today. I am aiming from somewhere between 10:00 and noon. As well, I will probably only be able to afford to stay a couple of days. Reality and all that. I do need to go though. Yeah, it's a lot easier, in many ways, not to go. This isn't my sort of thing on top of all the rest. And, yet, I think I can do it, want to do it, and should do it. So... A shower, shortly, a bit of airdrying, then to town for a spot to eat, and shaving when I get back. Finally, a call in the morning to see about the other friend. He may have needed a bit more time off anyway, though, too. Sucks to be this ill.
Later.
.
Sleep was too off to make it out today. And there are some other issues. I have to see about figuring some things out and getting out today. Medicine has been spotty. It's not that I mean it to be. But when things are off, choices aren't exactly available. What happens, happens. I did a load of laundry, a few things I wanted, for sure, for the trip. I need some food, so might head out for a bite. I will need to shower and shave, though I can shave later. It's sort of a messy time to try to be doing anything, but especially a random outing with no set plans, a need for an eye on the budget, medicine and sleep still off kilter, all while trying to figure out some other things on the side. Brutal and ugly.
I am feeling good, and it is all improving. I am running fairly well for purely survival issues. Just that adding anything extra is shorting something in the machine. I'll keep at it. Hopefully I can head out today. I am aiming from somewhere between 10:00 and noon. As well, I will probably only be able to afford to stay a couple of days. Reality and all that. I do need to go though. Yeah, it's a lot easier, in many ways, not to go. This isn't my sort of thing on top of all the rest. And, yet, I think I can do it, want to do it, and should do it. So... A shower, shortly, a bit of airdrying, then to town for a spot to eat, and shaving when I get back. Finally, a call in the morning to see about the other friend. He may have needed a bit more time off anyway, though, too. Sucks to be this ill.
Later.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
E-gaming.
.
.
I don't know how many of you folk play games. Consoles such as ps 4 or xbox, computer gaming, or the handheld units some of which are interactive with consoles now, sharing some games and usable as controllers, all offer various content with some overlap. Oh, and not all of it is hardcore gaming. They have created content for just about everybody. Yes, your momma too! No joke, if it is funny, at least to me. Of course, what they play isn't exactly what true gamers play. And, yes, there is a difference.
Some believe gaming is an addiction. And for some people more than others, it is. Though in truth, most gaming has some element of that. Some of that comes from having very old aspects to our brain and a very new living paradigm. Even fifty, but certainly an hundred, years ago, we were struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. We really were. Today we have very little difficulty finding food. Even at midnight, living in a berg that would have been consider the boondocks just thirty years ago, and I can drive in and by fast food or go to a store and buy less processed/ready foods. It's a different life.
Without the push just to eat, stay moderately clothed, and find shelter, we look for something to fulfill that need and want for a driving factor. Most of us realize we really can't change, certainly not fix, the world. Socialists and communists believe that, which is why they are so driven for politics. If they ever realized the truth, and that even if they do change the world, given who and what they are and how they do things, that change would definitely be for the worse, we might have a better world (and more gamers). Many of us realize the only thing we might be able to improve is ourselves. And, if that happens to make the world better, it is more likely to be through example. Not quitting, not choosing the easy way, not taking what isn't ours, even if supposedly for someone in need. And, actually, gaming offers considerations regarding self-improvement that civil socialism and communism can't offer. Verified better scores, expanding a mind in order to explore ways to solve problems, both in game and life, that might not otherwise have been considered.
Of course, gaming can be taken too far. So, too, can television/movies/reading. As can even education. Have you ever met those types who have half a dozen masters and ph.ds but who have never worked? Further, much of the education is phony. They just learned how to get the answers for the quizzes and tests, without actually learning the material. There are those who stick so much to the real world, as well, that they know nothing else. They are known as workaholics. Everything can be taken to extremes, and most things will be, if they are satisfying and more available, or seemingly available, than other/better options.
For me, it is something I can do when all else fails. It keeps me from dropping into a cavern of nothingness. Medicine has been helping these last few years. But without something to do, something that isn't to physically demanding, yet gives that feel, I would be sleeping a great deal more than I am. Regardless what you may have heard, sleep is death. So, for me, often, games are a lifeline, for the mind. They even help the body, in some ways.
In any case, over the next week or three, I am hoping to discuss various topics related to gaming, at least for me. Subjects such as open world versus small and linear, means for producers to raise or lower difficulty and which of those I prefer, among other topics. To be honest, I don't think there are many who don't play. Even my mother games! And, yes, she takes her gaming seriously... if I chuckle at her choices. Then again, to a degree, that is exactly what I started with as well. Yes, gaming. I will be discussing much. Just... not until I return. Hmm... I may take a notepad and, for when I'm not at the hospital, so as to work on some of these notions.
I have been considering taking a book of short stories. I'm not sure if my friend would care to be read at though. I'll ask him when I arrive. I sort of wish I had some of the ebooks in physical form. I meant to do that, but got lost in life and illness. Some of those, even the end time ones, are pretty good and generally short enough, some of them, to be read in a fairly short session. Perhaps I could just read off my smartphone ereader. Reading to someone ill is a good practice, mind you. Can't talk a lot, and have little else to really do. Depends on if he can stay interested or at least enjoys the notion.
Later.
.
I don't know how many of you folk play games. Consoles such as ps 4 or xbox, computer gaming, or the handheld units some of which are interactive with consoles now, sharing some games and usable as controllers, all offer various content with some overlap. Oh, and not all of it is hardcore gaming. They have created content for just about everybody. Yes, your momma too! No joke, if it is funny, at least to me. Of course, what they play isn't exactly what true gamers play. And, yes, there is a difference.
Some believe gaming is an addiction. And for some people more than others, it is. Though in truth, most gaming has some element of that. Some of that comes from having very old aspects to our brain and a very new living paradigm. Even fifty, but certainly an hundred, years ago, we were struggling to keep food on the table and a roof over our head. We really were. Today we have very little difficulty finding food. Even at midnight, living in a berg that would have been consider the boondocks just thirty years ago, and I can drive in and by fast food or go to a store and buy less processed/ready foods. It's a different life.
Without the push just to eat, stay moderately clothed, and find shelter, we look for something to fulfill that need and want for a driving factor. Most of us realize we really can't change, certainly not fix, the world. Socialists and communists believe that, which is why they are so driven for politics. If they ever realized the truth, and that even if they do change the world, given who and what they are and how they do things, that change would definitely be for the worse, we might have a better world (and more gamers). Many of us realize the only thing we might be able to improve is ourselves. And, if that happens to make the world better, it is more likely to be through example. Not quitting, not choosing the easy way, not taking what isn't ours, even if supposedly for someone in need. And, actually, gaming offers considerations regarding self-improvement that civil socialism and communism can't offer. Verified better scores, expanding a mind in order to explore ways to solve problems, both in game and life, that might not otherwise have been considered.
Of course, gaming can be taken too far. So, too, can television/movies/reading. As can even education. Have you ever met those types who have half a dozen masters and ph.ds but who have never worked? Further, much of the education is phony. They just learned how to get the answers for the quizzes and tests, without actually learning the material. There are those who stick so much to the real world, as well, that they know nothing else. They are known as workaholics. Everything can be taken to extremes, and most things will be, if they are satisfying and more available, or seemingly available, than other/better options.
For me, it is something I can do when all else fails. It keeps me from dropping into a cavern of nothingness. Medicine has been helping these last few years. But without something to do, something that isn't to physically demanding, yet gives that feel, I would be sleeping a great deal more than I am. Regardless what you may have heard, sleep is death. So, for me, often, games are a lifeline, for the mind. They even help the body, in some ways.
In any case, over the next week or three, I am hoping to discuss various topics related to gaming, at least for me. Subjects such as open world versus small and linear, means for producers to raise or lower difficulty and which of those I prefer, among other topics. To be honest, I don't think there are many who don't play. Even my mother games! And, yes, she takes her gaming seriously... if I chuckle at her choices. Then again, to a degree, that is exactly what I started with as well. Yes, gaming. I will be discussing much. Just... not until I return. Hmm... I may take a notepad and, for when I'm not at the hospital, so as to work on some of these notions.
I have been considering taking a book of short stories. I'm not sure if my friend would care to be read at though. I'll ask him when I arrive. I sort of wish I had some of the ebooks in physical form. I meant to do that, but got lost in life and illness. Some of those, even the end time ones, are pretty good and generally short enough, some of them, to be read in a fairly short session. Perhaps I could just read off my smartphone ereader. Reading to someone ill is a good practice, mind you. Can't talk a lot, and have little else to really do. Depends on if he can stay interested or at least enjoys the notion.
Later.
Back on some sort of track.
.
.
I can't swear when I actually went to bed. I think someone called, maybe several people. Not sure I spoke with any save one call. I have no idea what was said. Or I dreamed all that. If I look at the phone records, I might be able to be sure, though I am not sure it is important. Not at this point. I am sure I stayed up until at least mid-afternoon, maybe a bit later though possibly earlier. Up at midnight yesterday, and perhaps a sixteen hour day. Good enough as I am working my way through things.
I best call and cancel dinner. Or did I? Either way, I need to make sure. Then I need to get some food down, omelets are pretty good. A little cheese added, perhaps sliced olives, sometimes plain. It's good enough. Maybe a run to town? And I need to get a shower in, maybe a bath later too. Plus a bit of packing. It doesn't take much. Taking the right stuff means you can take less. How much, or little, you pack, depends on a lot of things. Still, even for four days, a very small case should do. Oh, but the cats. I best figure that out.
I am not sure when travel will begin. I would guess that a 10:00 start might be pushing it. Though time will tell on that. Sometimes it just happens, when it happens. First, though, I need to finish waking. A fresh pot of coffee and something to eat after that, then a shower. Later.
.
I can't swear when I actually went to bed. I think someone called, maybe several people. Not sure I spoke with any save one call. I have no idea what was said. Or I dreamed all that. If I look at the phone records, I might be able to be sure, though I am not sure it is important. Not at this point. I am sure I stayed up until at least mid-afternoon, maybe a bit later though possibly earlier. Up at midnight yesterday, and perhaps a sixteen hour day. Good enough as I am working my way through things.
I best call and cancel dinner. Or did I? Either way, I need to make sure. Then I need to get some food down, omelets are pretty good. A little cheese added, perhaps sliced olives, sometimes plain. It's good enough. Maybe a run to town? And I need to get a shower in, maybe a bath later too. Plus a bit of packing. It doesn't take much. Taking the right stuff means you can take less. How much, or little, you pack, depends on a lot of things. Still, even for four days, a very small case should do. Oh, but the cats. I best figure that out.
I am not sure when travel will begin. I would guess that a 10:00 start might be pushing it. Though time will tell on that. Sometimes it just happens, when it happens. First, though, I need to finish waking. A fresh pot of coffee and something to eat after that, then a shower. Later.
Monday, November 9, 2015
As it turns out...
.
.
And it always turns out, if not always how you planned, hoped, worked... Yes, as it turns out...
While it was suggested that my other friend would not be going to the SLC area today, as his friend, who was supposed to be released today had been set to not be released until tomorrow... from another hospital... Well. It turns out that he will be being released, and at mid-day, likely at noon. Right. He called and... my phone has been forgotten in the other room. I didn't hear either call. I did get the messages. Our mutual friend, however, was called. But he was a bit out of it. When asked about me, he thought I was going to moving the hospital buildings around. And, while that may or may not be, I had not discussed this with him previously. :p
Now, after I realized I had been called, listened to the messages, and got a handle on the data, I called back. There is no way I could have gotten ready, by that point. And he had already, of course, being 10:30, taken off. I would have needed a shower and all. However, this is all actually pretty good. Being that the release was noon, there was little likelihood that we could have visited our mutual friend, and picked up his other friend. And a visit after picking up his friend would be unlikely. He, too, is in bad shape and needs to return home.
Which means there is some better chance of taking single vehicles, splitting some costs, and not needing to rush up and back. All assuming our mutual friend is able to have visitors. To know this, I will need to call the hospital and his sister, and find out what I can. I could call him, but he wouldn't be all that helpful. And probably wouldn't quite know who I am. He might not even when we visit, but that is something else. Yeah, well... Two guys with really bad hearts trying to manage visiting two ill friends. Time runs oddly, pushing isn't always possible, and it is tricky. Still... it's what we can and wish to do.
I think I'll make an omelet, have a spot of coffee, fresh if possible, let that settle, then make an attempt at figuring out contacts and trying to stay up to make it a full day. I am feeling better. But this is the latter part of the day, which is always a time to begin slowing down. Not bad though. And I think I can have things arranged before too long, and make those calls, eat some food, and maybe get another shower in. I just need something to make me work and I can then get to more than I thought, by far. Later.
.
And it always turns out, if not always how you planned, hoped, worked... Yes, as it turns out...
While it was suggested that my other friend would not be going to the SLC area today, as his friend, who was supposed to be released today had been set to not be released until tomorrow... from another hospital... Well. It turns out that he will be being released, and at mid-day, likely at noon. Right. He called and... my phone has been forgotten in the other room. I didn't hear either call. I did get the messages. Our mutual friend, however, was called. But he was a bit out of it. When asked about me, he thought I was going to moving the hospital buildings around. And, while that may or may not be, I had not discussed this with him previously. :p
Now, after I realized I had been called, listened to the messages, and got a handle on the data, I called back. There is no way I could have gotten ready, by that point. And he had already, of course, being 10:30, taken off. I would have needed a shower and all. However, this is all actually pretty good. Being that the release was noon, there was little likelihood that we could have visited our mutual friend, and picked up his other friend. And a visit after picking up his friend would be unlikely. He, too, is in bad shape and needs to return home.
Which means there is some better chance of taking single vehicles, splitting some costs, and not needing to rush up and back. All assuming our mutual friend is able to have visitors. To know this, I will need to call the hospital and his sister, and find out what I can. I could call him, but he wouldn't be all that helpful. And probably wouldn't quite know who I am. He might not even when we visit, but that is something else. Yeah, well... Two guys with really bad hearts trying to manage visiting two ill friends. Time runs oddly, pushing isn't always possible, and it is tricky. Still... it's what we can and wish to do.
I think I'll make an omelet, have a spot of coffee, fresh if possible, let that settle, then make an attempt at figuring out contacts and trying to stay up to make it a full day. I am feeling better. But this is the latter part of the day, which is always a time to begin slowing down. Not bad though. And I think I can have things arranged before too long, and make those calls, eat some food, and maybe get another shower in. I just need something to make me work and I can then get to more than I thought, by far. Later.
As things find their place.
.
.
I can't be sure if these things are mood music, or salves for healing, or expressions of pains recently felt or soon perhaps to be known. I only know they seem to work. Enjoy, or... something... as you may.
.
I can't be sure if these things are mood music, or salves for healing, or expressions of pains recently felt or soon perhaps to be known. I only know they seem to work. Enjoy, or... something... as you may.
It sometimes amazes me.
.
.
How can I go from being in horrible shape, being confused and distraught, to hitting a stride that is as good as it gets. A few days back on meds, mostly, and I am like a new man. Yeah, medicines can help, especially as I have arranged them. Doctors can't be left to their own devices, but if they offer certain medicines, and you use due diligence, figuring what works with what they offer and your body, plus obtains the numbers they are looking for, you... well... you won't walk out of this alive, but you might just live a little longer and more meaningfully. But you have to do your part. Given, if you are ill enough, sometimes, all on your own, you won't always be able to do your part. A helping hang really would be good. No less than if you are well. A helping hand is something we all need from time to time.
I have been messing with my foot as well. No matter how good I was beginning to feel, if I couldn't put my foot in socks and a boot or shoe, it simply wouldn't matter. And, until yesterday, that wasn't possible. After another shower, and letting that soak, then spending a good deal of time figuring out what hurt, and why, I did a bit of doctoring. I found that the major problem was a cuticle spike. I was able to gently trim that so as to be able to bandage it. After that worked for a while, I added a sock. All good. It looks like I should be able to travel, as a driver or passenger. Next is to figure out when, where, and how. I might even try to locate lodging and stay a few days. You don't know what it's like to be that close to death and all alone. I do. His sister may be there, but it's nice to see other faces, especially if this is going to be his time. I don't like that, but... I think I can handle that now. He won't just become a ghost without a name and face now, either. If that's how it goes. It's the nameless and faceless ones that... are the problem.
I have also been trying to push my days and nights into correct order. Waking at midnight doesn't sound great, but it should give me an easy to noon, and a little more drawn out until 18:00~20:00. That should be enough for a trip, finding lodging, and crashing... then daily visits for a bit. So much work for such a simple seeming thing. It feels like I am running through mud, sand, and water. But it is coming together. And it isn't killing me, it's bringing me back from my own edge.
Anyway, that is how things are going. I might head out to grab a meal, then tinker on the machine to keep life going. I called the other friend, who may be traveling with me, or vice versa, or we may go down as a minor convoy. No answer. Then again, I wasn't sure there would be. Late as it is. I'll try at 6:00, then 8:00, and if need be 10:00... the latter would be pushing a trip tomorrow. So after 8:00 I may try to call my ill friend's sister for more information. Yeah... I know. Not sure, yesterday, I could have even planned this out. So, it's good enough to go, if I can find an exact address, visitation times and permission, and perhaps an inexpensive local room to let. I'd do it for any of my folk, if I knew. Later.
.
How can I go from being in horrible shape, being confused and distraught, to hitting a stride that is as good as it gets. A few days back on meds, mostly, and I am like a new man. Yeah, medicines can help, especially as I have arranged them. Doctors can't be left to their own devices, but if they offer certain medicines, and you use due diligence, figuring what works with what they offer and your body, plus obtains the numbers they are looking for, you... well... you won't walk out of this alive, but you might just live a little longer and more meaningfully. But you have to do your part. Given, if you are ill enough, sometimes, all on your own, you won't always be able to do your part. A helping hang really would be good. No less than if you are well. A helping hand is something we all need from time to time.
I have been messing with my foot as well. No matter how good I was beginning to feel, if I couldn't put my foot in socks and a boot or shoe, it simply wouldn't matter. And, until yesterday, that wasn't possible. After another shower, and letting that soak, then spending a good deal of time figuring out what hurt, and why, I did a bit of doctoring. I found that the major problem was a cuticle spike. I was able to gently trim that so as to be able to bandage it. After that worked for a while, I added a sock. All good. It looks like I should be able to travel, as a driver or passenger. Next is to figure out when, where, and how. I might even try to locate lodging and stay a few days. You don't know what it's like to be that close to death and all alone. I do. His sister may be there, but it's nice to see other faces, especially if this is going to be his time. I don't like that, but... I think I can handle that now. He won't just become a ghost without a name and face now, either. If that's how it goes. It's the nameless and faceless ones that... are the problem.
I have also been trying to push my days and nights into correct order. Waking at midnight doesn't sound great, but it should give me an easy to noon, and a little more drawn out until 18:00~20:00. That should be enough for a trip, finding lodging, and crashing... then daily visits for a bit. So much work for such a simple seeming thing. It feels like I am running through mud, sand, and water. But it is coming together. And it isn't killing me, it's bringing me back from my own edge.
Anyway, that is how things are going. I might head out to grab a meal, then tinker on the machine to keep life going. I called the other friend, who may be traveling with me, or vice versa, or we may go down as a minor convoy. No answer. Then again, I wasn't sure there would be. Late as it is. I'll try at 6:00, then 8:00, and if need be 10:00... the latter would be pushing a trip tomorrow. So after 8:00 I may try to call my ill friend's sister for more information. Yeah... I know. Not sure, yesterday, I could have even planned this out. So, it's good enough to go, if I can find an exact address, visitation times and permission, and perhaps an inexpensive local room to let. I'd do it for any of my folk, if I knew. Later.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Some things known.
.
.
I now know where my friend is, which hospital. In SLC, of course. What is going to be done, or not done, I don't know. It is a valve in his heart. While his family said the doctor hadn't put the nub on the surgery because of smoking, it seems as if that isn't true. I have a second source that seems to confirm that side of the story. The surgeon may simply be refusing to do the surgery because my friend smokes cigarettes. I'm not, myself, convinced there is any connection, especially since the valve problem seems to be congenital/genetic, and not due to smoking. It is medicine deciding to to kill and who to try to save based on external factors. If he was overweight by forty pounds, and the doctor refused to treat him, it would be similar. And, trust me, they will come for all of you, for this or that, if they get away with this. Drink coffee or tea? Eat "health food" that the doctor doesn't approve (potentially even "organic" food)? Eat junk food? Eat meat? Are a vegetarian/vegan? Any of these could be a basis, more so as the government is adding bureaucratic layers, and depending where you live and what the local "norms" are. Just something you best be considering.
The other thing to note, is, as people live longer, there is less concern by the medical field for the elderly. Some will argue that this is practical. And, maybe, it is. Faith in God, however, isn't practical... on a purely science based world, either. Then again, neither is science, since most even it has to be taken on faith since none can know even enough to be sure about the practices in their own field, even if they are the top of their field. I would rather put more faith in life, and take the risks, and treat seniors, children, and others, than to just surrender. Unfortunately I have no access to medical ethics panels, aka death panels. They were already being put in place before Zerocare. Zerocare just gave those the Stalinist stamp of approval to murder whoever they saw fit. Damned practical. God damned, as well.
In any case, there is a chance that a visit might be figured out Monday. If they will be doing the operation, probably, that would happen Wednesday. (All according to what I have heard, which is second or third hand, perhaps more, depending on how you count things.) Still, there is some hope. I would just figure out how to drive down, but there is a good chance they wouldn't even let me visit him without family clout. Yes, there are ways to work around even that, if weekends make that much more difficult. Bleh. A bit frustrated, but at least it looks like a plan is coming together. Just that he is still alive, and in some sort of supervised care, leaves some hope about how things will turn out.
Ah, the computer has been just sitting there as my mind has been elsewhere and my body has been repairing... I haven't been walking as much. Oh... and I realized, finally, that I haven't been taking medication since I dropped that one recent time. I wrote that I would be getting back to it, but that never happened. I started medicine again two days ago, minus insulin so far, mostly. Bleh. I'll keep at it. But that does explain some things. Sometimes that hurts terribly, but being broken up and interrupted, as well as not having much and resupply lines being highly questionable, it's... it's been difficult and I was already suffering so it mostly went unnoticed. Yeah.
Later.
.
I now know where my friend is, which hospital. In SLC, of course. What is going to be done, or not done, I don't know. It is a valve in his heart. While his family said the doctor hadn't put the nub on the surgery because of smoking, it seems as if that isn't true. I have a second source that seems to confirm that side of the story. The surgeon may simply be refusing to do the surgery because my friend smokes cigarettes. I'm not, myself, convinced there is any connection, especially since the valve problem seems to be congenital/genetic, and not due to smoking. It is medicine deciding to to kill and who to try to save based on external factors. If he was overweight by forty pounds, and the doctor refused to treat him, it would be similar. And, trust me, they will come for all of you, for this or that, if they get away with this. Drink coffee or tea? Eat "health food" that the doctor doesn't approve (potentially even "organic" food)? Eat junk food? Eat meat? Are a vegetarian/vegan? Any of these could be a basis, more so as the government is adding bureaucratic layers, and depending where you live and what the local "norms" are. Just something you best be considering.
The other thing to note, is, as people live longer, there is less concern by the medical field for the elderly. Some will argue that this is practical. And, maybe, it is. Faith in God, however, isn't practical... on a purely science based world, either. Then again, neither is science, since most even it has to be taken on faith since none can know even enough to be sure about the practices in their own field, even if they are the top of their field. I would rather put more faith in life, and take the risks, and treat seniors, children, and others, than to just surrender. Unfortunately I have no access to medical ethics panels, aka death panels. They were already being put in place before Zerocare. Zerocare just gave those the Stalinist stamp of approval to murder whoever they saw fit. Damned practical. God damned, as well.
In any case, there is a chance that a visit might be figured out Monday. If they will be doing the operation, probably, that would happen Wednesday. (All according to what I have heard, which is second or third hand, perhaps more, depending on how you count things.) Still, there is some hope. I would just figure out how to drive down, but there is a good chance they wouldn't even let me visit him without family clout. Yes, there are ways to work around even that, if weekends make that much more difficult. Bleh. A bit frustrated, but at least it looks like a plan is coming together. Just that he is still alive, and in some sort of supervised care, leaves some hope about how things will turn out.
Ah, the computer has been just sitting there as my mind has been elsewhere and my body has been repairing... I haven't been walking as much. Oh... and I realized, finally, that I haven't been taking medication since I dropped that one recent time. I wrote that I would be getting back to it, but that never happened. I started medicine again two days ago, minus insulin so far, mostly. Bleh. I'll keep at it. But that does explain some things. Sometimes that hurts terribly, but being broken up and interrupted, as well as not having much and resupply lines being highly questionable, it's... it's been difficult and I was already suffering so it mostly went unnoticed. Yeah.
Later.
Friday, November 6, 2015
Attempting change.
.
.
Attempting change? Or attempting to alter the change that is happening already? The latter, I think. Have you ever been stuck. You try to go one way. If that fails, you try to go the other way. If neither works after several attempts, you may begin an attempt to rock back and forth, or push, pull, press, tighten. Anything to get out of what is becoming claustrophobic. I haven't, exactly, had great success. I will keep at it.
On top of that, I found out that my big toe has not healed. It has merely stopped throbbing pain in the form of massive bolts of electrical PAIN every few to quarter seconds. And I can walk. Swelling went down. But touching the top of it... reminds me what I escaped. My toe cuticles can become like razor blades. While kept down (short, not far off my toe), mostly, that cuticle had hardened. It's more like a three-way blade, with one of the blades coming off the toe, the other two split to either side of the vertical one, on the horizontal plain. Now, whatever else happened, some large part of that cuticle was broken loose. So touching it moves the skin, broken off the toe with the cuticle, causing some serious pain. However, the bruise/sprain part is better, so long as I don't bump it... which... after a small error, I assure you I don't. And I can walk on it without yowling. Yeah, I'm a big baby on this. Shut that. I handle many pains quite well, and can ignore many. This is one of my kryptonites. So... I'm not quite sure how to do more to treat it.
I did stay awake long enough to call the middle friend about the other friend. No one answered. I will keep trying. I'm not sure which hospital he is in. Learning that I will call to find out if he can have visitors and what times are best. I know what it's like to be in a hospital alone. I even know what it is like to die alone. I am hoping to cut some of that out for him. Hmm... might have to see if reading, or a game item, or something, might help him soak up time. Though if he is in really bad shape, there might not be much to do. Still, I can visit more often, maybe read to him if that helps. I just have to, literally and figuratively, work out how to get back on my feet, and figure out where and when. Fighting through fog of health and pain of body and some tricky things.
Later.
.
Attempting change? Or attempting to alter the change that is happening already? The latter, I think. Have you ever been stuck. You try to go one way. If that fails, you try to go the other way. If neither works after several attempts, you may begin an attempt to rock back and forth, or push, pull, press, tighten. Anything to get out of what is becoming claustrophobic. I haven't, exactly, had great success. I will keep at it.
On top of that, I found out that my big toe has not healed. It has merely stopped throbbing pain in the form of massive bolts of electrical PAIN every few to quarter seconds. And I can walk. Swelling went down. But touching the top of it... reminds me what I escaped. My toe cuticles can become like razor blades. While kept down (short, not far off my toe), mostly, that cuticle had hardened. It's more like a three-way blade, with one of the blades coming off the toe, the other two split to either side of the vertical one, on the horizontal plain. Now, whatever else happened, some large part of that cuticle was broken loose. So touching it moves the skin, broken off the toe with the cuticle, causing some serious pain. However, the bruise/sprain part is better, so long as I don't bump it... which... after a small error, I assure you I don't. And I can walk on it without yowling. Yeah, I'm a big baby on this. Shut that. I handle many pains quite well, and can ignore many. This is one of my kryptonites. So... I'm not quite sure how to do more to treat it.
I did stay awake long enough to call the middle friend about the other friend. No one answered. I will keep trying. I'm not sure which hospital he is in. Learning that I will call to find out if he can have visitors and what times are best. I know what it's like to be in a hospital alone. I even know what it is like to die alone. I am hoping to cut some of that out for him. Hmm... might have to see if reading, or a game item, or something, might help him soak up time. Though if he is in really bad shape, there might not be much to do. Still, I can visit more often, maybe read to him if that helps. I just have to, literally and figuratively, work out how to get back on my feet, and figure out where and when. Fighting through fog of health and pain of body and some tricky things.
Later.
One of those calls.
.
.
A friend called sometime today. I just checked, saw a message, and listened. My friend is in the hospital and it isn't looking good. I am going to have to figure out how to be awake at the right time to call back, figure things out, and get in to the hospital. A simple visit at least, though I will check to see if there is anything he needs while I am there. He had a minor stroke recently. I don't know if this is related to that or something else. I'm not good with these sorts of things, but I have improved. So... tomorrow? I am hoping.
To get my mind off that, since I can't do much about it, I messed with the keyboard for the new system, rechecked plugs, unplugged some things from the motherboard that aren't required yet, and am about to take the monitor I am using to type this post in and set it up for an initial post attempt. If that goes well, then I break it all down while figuring out how to install it all into the case, in the same simple configuration, hook everything back up, and attempt a post in the case... or I troubleshoot until I can get a post or figure out what is wrong and begin dealing with that.
I may take a shower or bath first though. If I can get it to post, I will head in for a bite and see about some of the items I want/need. Walmart probably won't carry what I need. And yet it is worth a shot. With my time off.. Even if I get in to town tomorrow, I don't know if I will be able to go shopping on top of it, being that it will be a very harsh change in my schedule. Hmm... I ought to see if the fellow who called wants to go along when I go in to see the friend he called about. Yeah, I'll ask when I speak with him.
Yeah, well, I'll do what I can. Later.
.
A friend called sometime today. I just checked, saw a message, and listened. My friend is in the hospital and it isn't looking good. I am going to have to figure out how to be awake at the right time to call back, figure things out, and get in to the hospital. A simple visit at least, though I will check to see if there is anything he needs while I am there. He had a minor stroke recently. I don't know if this is related to that or something else. I'm not good with these sorts of things, but I have improved. So... tomorrow? I am hoping.
To get my mind off that, since I can't do much about it, I messed with the keyboard for the new system, rechecked plugs, unplugged some things from the motherboard that aren't required yet, and am about to take the monitor I am using to type this post in and set it up for an initial post attempt. If that goes well, then I break it all down while figuring out how to install it all into the case, in the same simple configuration, hook everything back up, and attempt a post in the case... or I troubleshoot until I can get a post or figure out what is wrong and begin dealing with that.
I may take a shower or bath first though. If I can get it to post, I will head in for a bite and see about some of the items I want/need. Walmart probably won't carry what I need. And yet it is worth a shot. With my time off.. Even if I get in to town tomorrow, I don't know if I will be able to go shopping on top of it, being that it will be a very harsh change in my schedule. Hmm... I ought to see if the fellow who called wants to go along when I go in to see the friend he called about. Yeah, I'll ask when I speak with him.
Yeah, well, I'll do what I can. Later.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Weird.
.
.
That toe I told you about? Yeah, well, it is healed. I swear it looked like the knuckle was turning, darkening, heading toward black. I banged it solidly. That is a very rare occurrence, thankfully, but I guess it was time. Beside the knuckle, I had somehow terribly ripped the cuticle. Don't ask, I don't know how that all happened. Or even, exactly, when. I was nearly sleep walking, and realized a few seconds after that I had done something not good. I did bandage it, and have changed that, and take bandages off at night often, to let them breath. And, after trying to ignore it for the previous day, I decided to put a pillow under that foot and be careful with it. Today it is as if nothing happened. The bruising is gone, the pain is gone. I'm not sure if the cuticle is still sore, though when I take a bath I will explore that. Strange. Oh, and I can walk without that odd limp that was becoming more required than not. Very odd.
Today I am hoping to simply work on the machine, take a shower, and do a bit of cleaning. There is some chance of working my day around and getting out. Most likely, however, I will try to find some phone numbers and let some people know some things. Life is still a bit crazy lately, but it'll do.
I have to admit, the more I work on this machine, the more sure I am that I didn't make a mistake with that first machine. I am beginning to believe the guy who sold me the parts sold me bad parts. Between greed and wanting to build the computers himself, he discouraged others. And, yes, I can see it. I was, and am, very careful with how power supplies are connected, which cable goes where, and such. That hasn't changed. Either that or the parts were bad, and since he liked building, he just used that as an excuse to take over the project. There isn't much you can get wrong without forcing things. And I simply don't. He never did say what was wrong, and I was naive enough to believe him. I really hate the things people do.
Anyway... I am hoping to do one more check, then attempt a post yet tonight. If it posts, I will go from there. A case install of just the main parts, then another attempt to post to make sure everything is right in there, then the remainder of the build... though I need a few things to complete it... a sata III card and a few more sata cords, possibly a few extensions. When it is in the case I can check more carefully and make a final list of final needs. Later.
.
That toe I told you about? Yeah, well, it is healed. I swear it looked like the knuckle was turning, darkening, heading toward black. I banged it solidly. That is a very rare occurrence, thankfully, but I guess it was time. Beside the knuckle, I had somehow terribly ripped the cuticle. Don't ask, I don't know how that all happened. Or even, exactly, when. I was nearly sleep walking, and realized a few seconds after that I had done something not good. I did bandage it, and have changed that, and take bandages off at night often, to let them breath. And, after trying to ignore it for the previous day, I decided to put a pillow under that foot and be careful with it. Today it is as if nothing happened. The bruising is gone, the pain is gone. I'm not sure if the cuticle is still sore, though when I take a bath I will explore that. Strange. Oh, and I can walk without that odd limp that was becoming more required than not. Very odd.
Today I am hoping to simply work on the machine, take a shower, and do a bit of cleaning. There is some chance of working my day around and getting out. Most likely, however, I will try to find some phone numbers and let some people know some things. Life is still a bit crazy lately, but it'll do.
I have to admit, the more I work on this machine, the more sure I am that I didn't make a mistake with that first machine. I am beginning to believe the guy who sold me the parts sold me bad parts. Between greed and wanting to build the computers himself, he discouraged others. And, yes, I can see it. I was, and am, very careful with how power supplies are connected, which cable goes where, and such. That hasn't changed. Either that or the parts were bad, and since he liked building, he just used that as an excuse to take over the project. There isn't much you can get wrong without forcing things. And I simply don't. He never did say what was wrong, and I was naive enough to believe him. I really hate the things people do.
Anyway... I am hoping to do one more check, then attempt a post yet tonight. If it posts, I will go from there. A case install of just the main parts, then another attempt to post to make sure everything is right in there, then the remainder of the build... though I need a few things to complete it... a sata III card and a few more sata cords, possibly a few extensions. When it is in the case I can check more carefully and make a final list of final needs. Later.
Well...
.
.
I couldn't sleep. Though getting out probably wouldn't have happened anyway. I stubbed my big toe about as well as a person can. Three hundred pounds, moving quickly but in a sleepy stupor, and a three foot thick stone wall makes for a serious bungle. I knew I hurt it, but thought it would just be better. I avoided putting weight on it, just in case. I don't break bones. I think, thought, that I came about as close to that as I get. Oh, and I ripped the top of it open pretty harshly, somehow. So, for a day or two, I am not going to be getting out. I will changed the bandage occasionally, perhaps take a soak bath a couple of times, and if it doesn't sort out, I may actually find something to use as a bottom splint. Not broken, but I think I bent it far enough back to have hurt the stuff in the knuckle... tendons... ligaments?
The pain has sort of thrown me off my game. I think it was numb for the first half day to day. Now it is screeching. Big baby. It's really starting to hurt. Doesn't look infected, so I am suspect it is just seriously out of shape.
I'll do what I can. With the birds frozen, I am not worried about getting them out in an absolute hurry. Thanksgiving is fine, but Christmas is the traditional time for a goose. Even Thanksgiving isn't too awful close, enough time to heal most likely. Though I might take anicin. If that doesn't work, or the swelling gets worse, I might try that other stuff. Not my favorite, and I don't know that I have seen it work on swelling, but... I might have a chance at an objective observation of it's claimed ability. It is about bedtime now, though some painpills might be required. Good night.
.
I couldn't sleep. Though getting out probably wouldn't have happened anyway. I stubbed my big toe about as well as a person can. Three hundred pounds, moving quickly but in a sleepy stupor, and a three foot thick stone wall makes for a serious bungle. I knew I hurt it, but thought it would just be better. I avoided putting weight on it, just in case. I don't break bones. I think, thought, that I came about as close to that as I get. Oh, and I ripped the top of it open pretty harshly, somehow. So, for a day or two, I am not going to be getting out. I will changed the bandage occasionally, perhaps take a soak bath a couple of times, and if it doesn't sort out, I may actually find something to use as a bottom splint. Not broken, but I think I bent it far enough back to have hurt the stuff in the knuckle... tendons... ligaments?
The pain has sort of thrown me off my game. I think it was numb for the first half day to day. Now it is screeching. Big baby. It's really starting to hurt. Doesn't look infected, so I am suspect it is just seriously out of shape.
I'll do what I can. With the birds frozen, I am not worried about getting them out in an absolute hurry. Thanksgiving is fine, but Christmas is the traditional time for a goose. Even Thanksgiving isn't too awful close, enough time to heal most likely. Though I might take anicin. If that doesn't work, or the swelling gets worse, I might try that other stuff. Not my favorite, and I don't know that I have seen it work on swelling, but... I might have a chance at an objective observation of it's claimed ability. It is about bedtime now, though some painpills might be required. Good night.
Slight change of plans.
.
.
Okay, I did finish the last of the research and feel as if I could attempt to run the machine for the first time. I will check everything, but I won't attempt to post. I want to sleep, and think I can, in order that I might wake earlier tomorrow (this afternoon), deliver some geese, and then if I am doing well enough and all, get to town to look for a few extensions, a few more cords, and a pci-e based sata III card. Then, if I can, I will begin attempting to work the machine through, problem solving as I go. If it all works well, and I find the last of the things I need, perhaps I can even finish the build, or get a good start on it.
.
Okay, I did finish the last of the research and feel as if I could attempt to run the machine for the first time. I will check everything, but I won't attempt to post. I want to sleep, and think I can, in order that I might wake earlier tomorrow (this afternoon), deliver some geese, and then if I am doing well enough and all, get to town to look for a few extensions, a few more cords, and a pci-e based sata III card. Then, if I can, I will begin attempting to work the machine through, problem solving as I go. If it all works well, and I find the last of the things I need, perhaps I can even finish the build, or get a good start on it.
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
How am I feeling?
.
.
On the outside, or how well I can move and do, not the best. Not the worst, simply nothing much to write. On the inside, however...
If I could just write that to a file and export that feel and energy to the outside world... Oh well. I'll enjoy it anyway. *woof!*
.
On the outside, or how well I can move and do, not the best. Not the worst, simply nothing much to write. On the inside, however...
If I could just write that to a file and export that feel and energy to the outside world... Oh well. I'll enjoy it anyway. *woof!*
Awake and awake.
.
.
I kept fussing before going to bed earlier. I was absolutely strung out into exhaustion, but I didn't want the geese to just sit on the porch. Between it still being above freezing and raining off and on, leaving birds outside would not have been wise. And it's a good thing I did force myself to stay awake.
When the geese arrived, I realized I don't have my freezer back in order! Ah, but remember, I purchased that secondary fridge/freezer? Yes. It was still in the garage, in packing. So... I had to, while still in pseudo epileptic fits from exhaustion, cart that thing through the cave, find a place to set it up, unbox it, and figure out the instructions. UGH! A beastly chore but I was not about to allow such precious gifts to go bad.
Relocating the thing was truly a beast. Unpacking it was just as bad. Some things, no matter how strong one is, are one-man jobs. And, yet, that is what I had. A woman can help on these sorts of things, because strength isn't needed for one part, just extra hands and at certain angles. Anyway, I got it moved, unpacked, sorted the interior, plugged it in to get it going, then grabbed the instruction manual. There wasn't much to the instructions, and yet there was a major point. The "FF" (fast freeze), which I really wanted and needed, has a four hour use limit. Ugh... Which meant that, while I could use it to plunge the geese into a solid freeze to initiate the thing, I couldn't go to bed. I figured about an hour up to let the freeze set deeply, then I could set the temp and go on to bed. More than four hours of FF use could damage the cooling system.
After that, I checked on the geese. Still frozen but just. There was no more dry ice, or whatever they used. They must set it to just exactly how much is needed to get to your door. And just that. How much longer it would have stayed frozen I can't say, but surely not through the afternoon. Dang good thing I forced myself to stay awake, then pushed through the work. I checked them, first thing, when I woke. All good. Probably a bit harder frozen than before, but they never even got actually close to feeling thawed. Worry. Those are a small fortune in foul. Still... all good.
Since waking, and while waking, yeah... got to be ^this old to say that... I did a bit more research regarding the i/o connections. I will check it, and the other connections, again. I need to ensure that the power cables are in solid states. Power being quarky is more than likely what will fry a machine. The wrong connection, not all the connections, a short. The wrong device connection could be a problem. But those are pretty difficult to get wrong. It's sort of like trying to use your foot to activate the turn signal. Still, some go that extra mile! Power, however... if it isn't even, and solidly attached, can smoke things. And it can look good and not be good. The again, too much pressure and you can snap boards, causing shorts and other problems. Unlike, say, sockets that are pressure sensitive, there are not rated, controlled, power connection tools. It takes experience, and that sort of experience can be very expensive.
Anyway. I did figure out what I needed. I will look over the connections. And I did look for, and find, sata III pci-e cards. They have them in the $30-$40 range, on up to dedicated raid boards at ten times that base range. I'll be sticking with the $40, though I hope to sift through the offerings to find something that has decent reviews and fewer reported problems. Many seem to have trouble being used for raid. But they would do just fine with the disc players, leaving the native board sata III for the two raid configs I want to arrange. Bleh... so much! Oh, and I will need another couple of sata cables, perhaps a few extensions as well. Baubles to be bought locally. So close, so very close.
If I check the connections, and feel satisfied, I may well end up attempting a post tonight, and working with the bios. Though I have everything needed for minor overclocking, I won't even consider that until I see that everything is running, and well, at basic settings, and for a while. A burn in, benchmarking, OS install, and a few other things first. In time, if all works, and after I have the system, software to hardware, all set up and arranged... and backed up twice over... then I might think about it. That is a while off. But a first stab at getting a solid post, and any troubleshooting, might happen yet tonight.
Later.
.
I kept fussing before going to bed earlier. I was absolutely strung out into exhaustion, but I didn't want the geese to just sit on the porch. Between it still being above freezing and raining off and on, leaving birds outside would not have been wise. And it's a good thing I did force myself to stay awake.
When the geese arrived, I realized I don't have my freezer back in order! Ah, but remember, I purchased that secondary fridge/freezer? Yes. It was still in the garage, in packing. So... I had to, while still in pseudo epileptic fits from exhaustion, cart that thing through the cave, find a place to set it up, unbox it, and figure out the instructions. UGH! A beastly chore but I was not about to allow such precious gifts to go bad.
Relocating the thing was truly a beast. Unpacking it was just as bad. Some things, no matter how strong one is, are one-man jobs. And, yet, that is what I had. A woman can help on these sorts of things, because strength isn't needed for one part, just extra hands and at certain angles. Anyway, I got it moved, unpacked, sorted the interior, plugged it in to get it going, then grabbed the instruction manual. There wasn't much to the instructions, and yet there was a major point. The "FF" (fast freeze), which I really wanted and needed, has a four hour use limit. Ugh... Which meant that, while I could use it to plunge the geese into a solid freeze to initiate the thing, I couldn't go to bed. I figured about an hour up to let the freeze set deeply, then I could set the temp and go on to bed. More than four hours of FF use could damage the cooling system.
After that, I checked on the geese. Still frozen but just. There was no more dry ice, or whatever they used. They must set it to just exactly how much is needed to get to your door. And just that. How much longer it would have stayed frozen I can't say, but surely not through the afternoon. Dang good thing I forced myself to stay awake, then pushed through the work. I checked them, first thing, when I woke. All good. Probably a bit harder frozen than before, but they never even got actually close to feeling thawed. Worry. Those are a small fortune in foul. Still... all good.
Since waking, and while waking, yeah... got to be ^this old to say that... I did a bit more research regarding the i/o connections. I will check it, and the other connections, again. I need to ensure that the power cables are in solid states. Power being quarky is more than likely what will fry a machine. The wrong connection, not all the connections, a short. The wrong device connection could be a problem. But those are pretty difficult to get wrong. It's sort of like trying to use your foot to activate the turn signal. Still, some go that extra mile! Power, however... if it isn't even, and solidly attached, can smoke things. And it can look good and not be good. The again, too much pressure and you can snap boards, causing shorts and other problems. Unlike, say, sockets that are pressure sensitive, there are not rated, controlled, power connection tools. It takes experience, and that sort of experience can be very expensive.
Anyway. I did figure out what I needed. I will look over the connections. And I did look for, and find, sata III pci-e cards. They have them in the $30-$40 range, on up to dedicated raid boards at ten times that base range. I'll be sticking with the $40, though I hope to sift through the offerings to find something that has decent reviews and fewer reported problems. Many seem to have trouble being used for raid. But they would do just fine with the disc players, leaving the native board sata III for the two raid configs I want to arrange. Bleh... so much! Oh, and I will need another couple of sata cables, perhaps a few extensions as well. Baubles to be bought locally. So close, so very close.
If I check the connections, and feel satisfied, I may well end up attempting a post tonight, and working with the bios. Though I have everything needed for minor overclocking, I won't even consider that until I see that everything is running, and well, at basic settings, and for a while. A burn in, benchmarking, OS install, and a few other things first. In time, if all works, and after I have the system, software to hardware, all set up and arranged... and backed up twice over... then I might think about it. That is a while off. But a first stab at getting a solid post, and any troubleshooting, might happen yet tonight.
Later.
Wha?!?
.
.
Too "late". The mind is drifting.
I did get the front panel power set up. Correctly? I guess I will find out, before too long. Though I am leaning toward it being correct. Several forums seemed to indicate the same setup, and that made sense, potentially. I installed the video card and connected that to power... which is off of course, for now. Then I began tinkering with the 2.5" sled rigs, sata cords, and power cords. It wasn't as bad as I thought, assuming the connections are actually good. I have both sleds set up with two ssd's each. That is the main thing, other than the blu-ray, that was left before attempting a post. That way I can set up raid 10 on those, installing win 7 shortly thereafter. I don't know if 7 is as bad as some of the others, so that if I add those hybrids in raid 1, if I will have to reset 7 as if I bought a whole new computer? I should check on that. Oh, and I did get the cpu aftermarket fan cooler off and back on. It is MUCH easier to use a socket. It's still tricky, just not as tricky.
Thirty years ago, I would have pushed on through, taken my monitor in and hooked it up, then attempted to run the numbers. I am not that impertinent, impatient, or foolish. Of course, "that" is the key word. But no, not tonight. I will sleep on it. Then, when I wake, I will begin checking all of the power cords, all of the connections, finding things I am not sure about and researching those (or again, probably). They really did a horrible job of explaining the front panel i/o and led hookups, adding in something totally different without even explaining what it was or how to deal with it. The manual for both the motherboard and the case seem to be well out of date, and shamefully. The tech that is there is... two, maybe three, years old, at least. No excuse. Though I am beginning to suspect sales suck. These devices have been sitting on a shelf since they were made, only some were sold.
Yeah, something is really odd about the world economy. Everything that is moving is a fraud. Transferring goods from one place to another, without any sales taking place, to make it look like sales are happening... building cities no one is or probably will ever live in. How much tech even actually works? The newest mainstream chips I have seen from Intel look more like a green based step back. It's crazy out there. No one is willing to cross the line, call in debts, pull, push, or scrumming. Fascinating to watch. Terrifying to understand. Imagine watching lions and lambs all too afraid to run or chase, just looking around in a sort of shock or stupor. Do you have any idea what it would take to make that happen? Now... think about what it would take to make greedy men, warful nations, even terrorists, all reconsider what they are doing. Spooked.
Anyway. I won't be turning her over tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow night, depending on how well my research and certain goes. I want to have it pretty much nailed, at least in my mind, before I push the buttons. It is definitely about bedtime though. I actually expect there to be some problem. Major or minor... that's just how it goes. I have already hit some, though I seem to be figuring them out, so far, faster than they arise, mostly.
Good night.
.
Too "late". The mind is drifting.
I did get the front panel power set up. Correctly? I guess I will find out, before too long. Though I am leaning toward it being correct. Several forums seemed to indicate the same setup, and that made sense, potentially. I installed the video card and connected that to power... which is off of course, for now. Then I began tinkering with the 2.5" sled rigs, sata cords, and power cords. It wasn't as bad as I thought, assuming the connections are actually good. I have both sleds set up with two ssd's each. That is the main thing, other than the blu-ray, that was left before attempting a post. That way I can set up raid 10 on those, installing win 7 shortly thereafter. I don't know if 7 is as bad as some of the others, so that if I add those hybrids in raid 1, if I will have to reset 7 as if I bought a whole new computer? I should check on that. Oh, and I did get the cpu aftermarket fan cooler off and back on. It is MUCH easier to use a socket. It's still tricky, just not as tricky.
Thirty years ago, I would have pushed on through, taken my monitor in and hooked it up, then attempted to run the numbers. I am not that impertinent, impatient, or foolish. Of course, "that" is the key word. But no, not tonight. I will sleep on it. Then, when I wake, I will begin checking all of the power cords, all of the connections, finding things I am not sure about and researching those (or again, probably). They really did a horrible job of explaining the front panel i/o and led hookups, adding in something totally different without even explaining what it was or how to deal with it. The manual for both the motherboard and the case seem to be well out of date, and shamefully. The tech that is there is... two, maybe three, years old, at least. No excuse. Though I am beginning to suspect sales suck. These devices have been sitting on a shelf since they were made, only some were sold.
Yeah, something is really odd about the world economy. Everything that is moving is a fraud. Transferring goods from one place to another, without any sales taking place, to make it look like sales are happening... building cities no one is or probably will ever live in. How much tech even actually works? The newest mainstream chips I have seen from Intel look more like a green based step back. It's crazy out there. No one is willing to cross the line, call in debts, pull, push, or scrumming. Fascinating to watch. Terrifying to understand. Imagine watching lions and lambs all too afraid to run or chase, just looking around in a sort of shock or stupor. Do you have any idea what it would take to make that happen? Now... think about what it would take to make greedy men, warful nations, even terrorists, all reconsider what they are doing. Spooked.
Anyway. I won't be turning her over tonight. Maybe not even tomorrow night, depending on how well my research and certain goes. I want to have it pretty much nailed, at least in my mind, before I push the buttons. It is definitely about bedtime though. I actually expect there to be some problem. Major or minor... that's just how it goes. I have already hit some, though I seem to be figuring them out, so far, faster than they arise, mostly.
Good night.
One thing figured out.
.
.
Okay. It looks like the manual simply decided not to explain the difference between "FP PWR/SLP" and "PWR SWT". They both do the same thing, only use the light to indicate on/off or on/sleep (and maybe /off, too, somehow). It wasn't in the manual, it wasn't online, it wasn't in the fast connect. You were just supposed to know it. As to proper connections, in theory only the hard drive led is, from what I have read, vital to be in the correct polar setting. Settled, unless it isn't. A few more things to dig into. I might install the video card first though, and then sleep.
It isn't hard work. Between contorting to get into a position where I can work on some things to concentrating on figuring out what things mean, finding the information I need for certain, and applying all of that, though, can be a bit taxing. You can burn a grand or three in a heartbeat and have nothing to show for it. I'll take my time and play it as safe as possible. Still, at the end of the day, I will have to plug it all in, fire it up, and hope.
Oh, this will be done shortly. Remember, my hands are massive. Somewhere between an extra and a double extra large. I, thankfully, don't have sausage fingers. It is still a lot of landmass to mess with tiny details. I do really well with that given. To tell the truth? I've already done this. The problem? I... didn't take the sticker off the bottom. *shrugs* At least I know I could do it. Though I think I'll see about a socket with just a screwdriver drive for it. And maybe an extender. (start the vid at about 6:52 for how to install... before that is just... nerd stuff... going over what is in the box and all)
Well, back to work. Later.
.
Okay. It looks like the manual simply decided not to explain the difference between "FP PWR/SLP" and "PWR SWT". They both do the same thing, only use the light to indicate on/off or on/sleep (and maybe /off, too, somehow). It wasn't in the manual, it wasn't online, it wasn't in the fast connect. You were just supposed to know it. As to proper connections, in theory only the hard drive led is, from what I have read, vital to be in the correct polar setting. Settled, unless it isn't. A few more things to dig into. I might install the video card first though, and then sleep.
It isn't hard work. Between contorting to get into a position where I can work on some things to concentrating on figuring out what things mean, finding the information I need for certain, and applying all of that, though, can be a bit taxing. You can burn a grand or three in a heartbeat and have nothing to show for it. I'll take my time and play it as safe as possible. Still, at the end of the day, I will have to plug it all in, fire it up, and hope.
Oh, this will be done shortly. Remember, my hands are massive. Somewhere between an extra and a double extra large. I, thankfully, don't have sausage fingers. It is still a lot of landmass to mess with tiny details. I do really well with that given. To tell the truth? I've already done this. The problem? I... didn't take the sticker off the bottom. *shrugs* At least I know I could do it. Though I think I'll see about a socket with just a screwdriver drive for it. And maybe an extender. (start the vid at about 6:52 for how to install... before that is just... nerd stuff... going over what is in the box and all)
Well, back to work. Later.
Yeah. Not quite.
.
.
I did find information on the audio. What surprises me is that they have analog still, as an option. Perhaps non-gaming motherboards might still have very low level audio? Or is that the cpu? Or, possibly, both, with the weakest link being the deciding factor? I still can't find good information regarding the front panel i/o ports, leds, and such. Half of them I am sure about, the other half simply don't make sense. They are contrary to various sources, the manual only offers information that is explicit regarding two of the plugs (two of five) and those are contrary to how one of the others is shown in a diagram to be arranged. Huh? Yeah... Why so fussy? Some power arrangements can be backwards without a problem. Some can smoke a motherboard, and more. You can wipe a system with the wrong connections.
I keep looking. I might just give up on youtube and look for other sources, which might then, possible, have videos (from whatever source), and a more sure information set. Possibly even finding a forum that is still active. Oh, and I am finding some problems. I can't, easily, or even with the cables I currently have, connect all four ssd's. While they do fit on the bay sled, connecting power and sata cables as they are arranged... I suppose it should be possible. Or they wouldn't have designed sleds that could handle two drives, right? I suppose I could contort the power cords something fierce, but the sata cables... I am just not seeing it. I have looked on youtube for that as well. No real luck. I found someone who suggested that they were going to do it, or had done it, but didn't show how, or even show it after it was done. I, with this too, might look at sources other than youtube. Youtubes search engine seems shot. I might have to, sort of, give up on them.
Something I would suggest to youtube is... know thine enemy, and friend. And, yes, treat them differently. If someone brings you a ton of traffic, don't try to paywall them out of using you. Is it worth trying to scrape $10 out of someone's wallet when they bring you a ton of traffic? Seriously? Think about that. For the casual viewer, whatever. For free advertising that brings in many viewers? It's their call. It looks like they haven't plugged every hole, but they are getting close to it. If done, they will lose far more than they gain. I promise. I just can't pay for every service out there. Especially not the ones I keep in business through links. Choices. Consequences.
Anyway, on to a bit more work. Oh, I can probably do without the drives, of any sort, up front. I just need to check which i/o and led wires go where, toss on the video card, and see if I can get to the bios, update that, and see how it all shakes out. If that is good, I can begin arranging settings, then install the motherboard if that works. THEN get the rest of the system up and running. For the fiddly bits I will look around locally. I have enough power supply cords, it's the correct type and angle of sata cords that is the catch... and the nerve to twist-bang all of that to somehow fit.
Later.
.
I did find information on the audio. What surprises me is that they have analog still, as an option. Perhaps non-gaming motherboards might still have very low level audio? Or is that the cpu? Or, possibly, both, with the weakest link being the deciding factor? I still can't find good information regarding the front panel i/o ports, leds, and such. Half of them I am sure about, the other half simply don't make sense. They are contrary to various sources, the manual only offers information that is explicit regarding two of the plugs (two of five) and those are contrary to how one of the others is shown in a diagram to be arranged. Huh? Yeah... Why so fussy? Some power arrangements can be backwards without a problem. Some can smoke a motherboard, and more. You can wipe a system with the wrong connections.
I keep looking. I might just give up on youtube and look for other sources, which might then, possible, have videos (from whatever source), and a more sure information set. Possibly even finding a forum that is still active. Oh, and I am finding some problems. I can't, easily, or even with the cables I currently have, connect all four ssd's. While they do fit on the bay sled, connecting power and sata cables as they are arranged... I suppose it should be possible. Or they wouldn't have designed sleds that could handle two drives, right? I suppose I could contort the power cords something fierce, but the sata cables... I am just not seeing it. I have looked on youtube for that as well. No real luck. I found someone who suggested that they were going to do it, or had done it, but didn't show how, or even show it after it was done. I, with this too, might look at sources other than youtube. Youtubes search engine seems shot. I might have to, sort of, give up on them.
Something I would suggest to youtube is... know thine enemy, and friend. And, yes, treat them differently. If someone brings you a ton of traffic, don't try to paywall them out of using you. Is it worth trying to scrape $10 out of someone's wallet when they bring you a ton of traffic? Seriously? Think about that. For the casual viewer, whatever. For free advertising that brings in many viewers? It's their call. It looks like they haven't plugged every hole, but they are getting close to it. If done, they will lose far more than they gain. I promise. I just can't pay for every service out there. Especially not the ones I keep in business through links. Choices. Consequences.
Anyway, on to a bit more work. Oh, I can probably do without the drives, of any sort, up front. I just need to check which i/o and led wires go where, toss on the video card, and see if I can get to the bios, update that, and see how it all shakes out. If that is good, I can begin arranging settings, then install the motherboard if that works. THEN get the rest of the system up and running. For the fiddly bits I will look around locally. I have enough power supply cords, it's the correct type and angle of sata cords that is the catch... and the nerve to twist-bang all of that to somehow fit.
Later.
Build instructions are as clear as mud.
.
.
I have been working on the machine for a while. I was able to get what could be done without being grounded yesterday. Last night I snuck out for both a meal and a power bar. I wasn't sure I wanted to work on the machine today. It took a good long time to wake and become functional, longer than I thought. I finally became aware enough to begin tinkering.
Between what the various devices, including the case, provide, and the various manuals from the manufacturer... it is very difficult to make heads or tails of things. Beyond, it seems that each device might well be at a different tech level. For example, perhaps the case has wiring set for a certain sort of sound connection and the motherboard has a different connection. Neither manual, in this case, is telling me what to do. The board has a label by what seems to be the sound connection, but doesn't discuss that in the book. The case manual offers less. I remember this from the first time, but thought youtube would make this process easier. So far, not really. There are some areas youtube does have vids regarding, some it doesn't.
I am building the motherboard outside of the case first. I have the cpu and memory in, the larger duel fan cpu cooler in (youtube was great for that... that was a bear, but with advice from some guy I was able to do that in much shorter time, and much easier, that what he and most others would go through without advice). I have some of the connections for the front panel on, though between the instructions in the booklet and manual vs what they offer at youtube (which are contrary), I am not sure about those. I am not sure about the pci connection through the front panel either. That looks like it goes to a sata III, but... I haven't started tracking that down yet. I want to make sure I have the front panel right, then work on those odd extras. I may have to skip the sata to the front panel, at least for now. With four ssd's and two hybrids, I pretty much have used all of my native sata connections. I'll bet they make a small pci-e card with additional internal sata connections though?
Not bad, really. It does help to have a second machine to look things up. Well, and not have to worry about not being able to hop online, even just to blog out what I am doing. It can help to have folks know and prey. Well, and I pulled an update for the bios onto a thumb drive while I was at it. That may be the best way to get updates. This machine isn't for online. Though if I can figure out how to use linux, say, to get on and off, and install/update, I may use it from time to time. Just keep images, several layers of them, for the machine and be prepared to lose everything in order to get the machine functioning again. Even with safety arrangements, with a company as big and powerful as Microsoft trying to force us into software we don't want it will be difficult to keep them off my machine. Fry it all, if need be, and start over. As often as it takes.
Well, on to a bit more research. I am guessing some things should be pretty... standard, across brand and type of device. It's just a matter of finding the information. They really want you to buy whole systems, especially with MS and probably the government both trying to shove win 10 at us now. So they may be hiding this sort of information. I'll more. Yeah. I have already looked. But not quite as specifically so I might have just missed it. Later.
.
I have been working on the machine for a while. I was able to get what could be done without being grounded yesterday. Last night I snuck out for both a meal and a power bar. I wasn't sure I wanted to work on the machine today. It took a good long time to wake and become functional, longer than I thought. I finally became aware enough to begin tinkering.
Between what the various devices, including the case, provide, and the various manuals from the manufacturer... it is very difficult to make heads or tails of things. Beyond, it seems that each device might well be at a different tech level. For example, perhaps the case has wiring set for a certain sort of sound connection and the motherboard has a different connection. Neither manual, in this case, is telling me what to do. The board has a label by what seems to be the sound connection, but doesn't discuss that in the book. The case manual offers less. I remember this from the first time, but thought youtube would make this process easier. So far, not really. There are some areas youtube does have vids regarding, some it doesn't.
I am building the motherboard outside of the case first. I have the cpu and memory in, the larger duel fan cpu cooler in (youtube was great for that... that was a bear, but with advice from some guy I was able to do that in much shorter time, and much easier, that what he and most others would go through without advice). I have some of the connections for the front panel on, though between the instructions in the booklet and manual vs what they offer at youtube (which are contrary), I am not sure about those. I am not sure about the pci connection through the front panel either. That looks like it goes to a sata III, but... I haven't started tracking that down yet. I want to make sure I have the front panel right, then work on those odd extras. I may have to skip the sata to the front panel, at least for now. With four ssd's and two hybrids, I pretty much have used all of my native sata connections. I'll bet they make a small pci-e card with additional internal sata connections though?
Not bad, really. It does help to have a second machine to look things up. Well, and not have to worry about not being able to hop online, even just to blog out what I am doing. It can help to have folks know and prey. Well, and I pulled an update for the bios onto a thumb drive while I was at it. That may be the best way to get updates. This machine isn't for online. Though if I can figure out how to use linux, say, to get on and off, and install/update, I may use it from time to time. Just keep images, several layers of them, for the machine and be prepared to lose everything in order to get the machine functioning again. Even with safety arrangements, with a company as big and powerful as Microsoft trying to force us into software we don't want it will be difficult to keep them off my machine. Fry it all, if need be, and start over. As often as it takes.
Well, on to a bit more research. I am guessing some things should be pretty... standard, across brand and type of device. It's just a matter of finding the information. They really want you to buy whole systems, especially with MS and probably the government both trying to shove win 10 at us now. So they may be hiding this sort of information. I'll more. Yeah. I have already looked. But not quite as specifically so I might have just missed it. Later.
Monday, November 2, 2015
I've suggested.
.
.
There is great doubt even so. I probably shouldn't, as you, as usual, even if you choose to, and are capable to, understand you will miss the full picture. Oh well, I will go for it.
.
There is great doubt even so. I probably shouldn't, as you, as usual, even if you choose to, and are capable to, understand you will miss the full picture. Oh well, I will go for it.
Serusly?
.
.
Yeah, well, yeah. I didn't go to sleep until... right at 8:00... depending of whether the daylight savings has corrupted the official time yet or not. My computer says it has, but none of my other, supposedly, dls sensitive clocks or watches have reset. I'll... figure that out sooner or later. I would outlaw daylight savings and have the men and their families who invented that forced to live on a swing shift life schedule until they admit they were wrong. Well, and every bureaucrat and politician who helped along the way. Of course, that would just be the beginning. The politicians and bureaucrats who corrupted many things would be punished or exiled going back in history. The Kennedys would once again be Irish, but be living in North Korea, where their sort of politics is mandated. Things like that.
Anyway. I woke at 15:00, give or take, depending on if dls is in play or not, and all. I reset the dishes first thing. I want a shower, boys and girls. Didn't get one yesterday. Could have used it then, need it now. Then I realized the ssd's might be in, and they were. I was in my shortest of shorts. Still being only half awake, I looked at the package, for a bit, and whined. I couldn't go out, as things... stood. But I couldn't think what else to do. Finally, it hit me. Pj bottoms. Problem solved.
While the dishes were dealing with a fresh soak, and after dressing enough to reach the package, I brought them in and looked them over. Then I cracked open the case, brought the 2.5" sleds out, and began figuring out how to install. At first I thought the manufacturer of the case had made a mistake, suggesting the sleds would hold two ssd's. Then I flipped one of the ssd's over. Ah, holes not just on the side, but on the back. This I should have known. I have seen cases which have indentions specifically for ssd's on the motherboard panel, to be mounted through the panel, which means holes on the flat. Still, knowing and doing are two different things, especially the first time you functionally work with an item. You have to not only intellectually, but physically (sort of) learn. Odd how that is, at least for me. Sometimes it is natively intuitive, thankfully, just not this time. Then again, I had just awoken, so...
Yes, all rigged. All I really need to do is get a multioutlet with some spike shielding. I have a power cord if I need a little more distance from the plug. Then I can arrange the grounding then connect the motherboard, and set it all up outside of the case to make sure it all works, and posts. If that all works, then I can begin installation. Somethings can fail, and that be just fine. Some things have to work for the build to succeed. If even two of the ssd's work, I am good. Even if both of the hybrids fail, that is fine as they are just mass storage, not OS related. Memory has to work.
There is a lot you can't understand, directly, about these machines. You really have to do research. Thankfully there is youtube. That only helps to a degree. Ignore opinions, look for someone who has access to enough parts, software, and experience, to actually know what questions to ask, and how to answer those questions. For example, many people believe that quad sli (four video cards working together) will offer the best performance, or that an eight core system would be more powerful. Actually with the quad sli, that simply isn't true... as a general rule. Some games are arranged to use that, but even so the difference between the best and worst fps rates becomes an issue the more cards there are. It's only good for two cards, as a general rule. And that still isn't as good as a more powerful card. The reason I consider that is, for me, and my budget, the trade-off is acceptable, and two cards is the best of the worst. As for eight core? That is better but only at some things. For gaming you would absolutely have to overclock to make that pay (and, thankfully, that does overclock, for the intel chip anyway). But stock it isn't as good. Even overclocked, many games may not really make use of the extra cores, those being almost more of a drag than a boon. If you are into video editing? Yeah, there you go. But for gaming, no. The price to performance simply isn't there.
I have been chewing through as much information, cross checking that, figuring and learning. Things change, so what was true a couple years ago, or even last year, may not still hold. Though there are reasons to know more recent history. Realizing that there is a difference will lead to learning what has changed and why, perhaps. And that gives you a leg up on the next change. What it means, and why it was changed. It takes a great deal to be out ahead of the industry, from power supply to ram speed to pci-e slots. And you really won't ever be. No matter how true it seems on paper, it still has to be jacked in, sometimes made to run despite itself, then tested. Some things that should be butter from paper specs simply do not function in reality, or not well.
I may never be a pro. I simply like being aware enough to tinker, build my own, and such. It is my version of sports. Only, as a general rule, I don't have to worry about one of my "teams" throwing the game for individual fear or payoffs. I do have some worry about one of the teams getting lazy, or greedy, in other ways. But there are enough fans who will boo loudly enough that even my rheumy ears catch wind. Though, sometimes, fan boys will be fan boys, and perfection will be demanded that just can't really work. Well, and, sometimes, what is is.
After I get this going, my next move is to update, secure, add linux, and set up in other ways this (the one I am using right now) computer for a more secure online use. The gaming rig isn't for online. Anything I need, after initialization of some things, will be gotten through this machine, downloads, and a thumb drive. With a little care and tweaking, this ancient computer can last another four or five years. More if components last, if I may have to switch purely to linux if windows keeps up it's queer intolerance to the free-market and forces it's old OS's off the page, one way or another.
Oh... right... Dishes were finished, machine is as complete as possible without a trip to town. But a shower is needed. I just... need a bit of sit time to wake. What a rush, though, already. Too asleep to have realized how much I did end up rushing. Cool. Didn't wear me out, I'm just back to normal waking routines is all. A bit of time, a shower, a bit more time, then... who knows. Might get a decent part of the machine together tonight. I will be taking it slow though, and just doing a few very specific things at a time... say... cpu install, then sata III connections, then take a break. Then come back and connect the board to the power button and speakers so I have those controls. Just a bit at a time, so I really know what and were with a clear mind. Yeah, you can sort of do it all in a nebulous cloud... but that is better if you have a lot more, and more current, experience. For now I need to keep it simple, and have the instructions fresh.
Later.
.
Yeah, well, yeah. I didn't go to sleep until... right at 8:00... depending of whether the daylight savings has corrupted the official time yet or not. My computer says it has, but none of my other, supposedly, dls sensitive clocks or watches have reset. I'll... figure that out sooner or later. I would outlaw daylight savings and have the men and their families who invented that forced to live on a swing shift life schedule until they admit they were wrong. Well, and every bureaucrat and politician who helped along the way. Of course, that would just be the beginning. The politicians and bureaucrats who corrupted many things would be punished or exiled going back in history. The Kennedys would once again be Irish, but be living in North Korea, where their sort of politics is mandated. Things like that.
Anyway. I woke at 15:00, give or take, depending on if dls is in play or not, and all. I reset the dishes first thing. I want a shower, boys and girls. Didn't get one yesterday. Could have used it then, need it now. Then I realized the ssd's might be in, and they were. I was in my shortest of shorts. Still being only half awake, I looked at the package, for a bit, and whined. I couldn't go out, as things... stood. But I couldn't think what else to do. Finally, it hit me. Pj bottoms. Problem solved.
While the dishes were dealing with a fresh soak, and after dressing enough to reach the package, I brought them in and looked them over. Then I cracked open the case, brought the 2.5" sleds out, and began figuring out how to install. At first I thought the manufacturer of the case had made a mistake, suggesting the sleds would hold two ssd's. Then I flipped one of the ssd's over. Ah, holes not just on the side, but on the back. This I should have known. I have seen cases which have indentions specifically for ssd's on the motherboard panel, to be mounted through the panel, which means holes on the flat. Still, knowing and doing are two different things, especially the first time you functionally work with an item. You have to not only intellectually, but physically (sort of) learn. Odd how that is, at least for me. Sometimes it is natively intuitive, thankfully, just not this time. Then again, I had just awoken, so...
Yes, all rigged. All I really need to do is get a multioutlet with some spike shielding. I have a power cord if I need a little more distance from the plug. Then I can arrange the grounding then connect the motherboard, and set it all up outside of the case to make sure it all works, and posts. If that all works, then I can begin installation. Somethings can fail, and that be just fine. Some things have to work for the build to succeed. If even two of the ssd's work, I am good. Even if both of the hybrids fail, that is fine as they are just mass storage, not OS related. Memory has to work.
There is a lot you can't understand, directly, about these machines. You really have to do research. Thankfully there is youtube. That only helps to a degree. Ignore opinions, look for someone who has access to enough parts, software, and experience, to actually know what questions to ask, and how to answer those questions. For example, many people believe that quad sli (four video cards working together) will offer the best performance, or that an eight core system would be more powerful. Actually with the quad sli, that simply isn't true... as a general rule. Some games are arranged to use that, but even so the difference between the best and worst fps rates becomes an issue the more cards there are. It's only good for two cards, as a general rule. And that still isn't as good as a more powerful card. The reason I consider that is, for me, and my budget, the trade-off is acceptable, and two cards is the best of the worst. As for eight core? That is better but only at some things. For gaming you would absolutely have to overclock to make that pay (and, thankfully, that does overclock, for the intel chip anyway). But stock it isn't as good. Even overclocked, many games may not really make use of the extra cores, those being almost more of a drag than a boon. If you are into video editing? Yeah, there you go. But for gaming, no. The price to performance simply isn't there.
I have been chewing through as much information, cross checking that, figuring and learning. Things change, so what was true a couple years ago, or even last year, may not still hold. Though there are reasons to know more recent history. Realizing that there is a difference will lead to learning what has changed and why, perhaps. And that gives you a leg up on the next change. What it means, and why it was changed. It takes a great deal to be out ahead of the industry, from power supply to ram speed to pci-e slots. And you really won't ever be. No matter how true it seems on paper, it still has to be jacked in, sometimes made to run despite itself, then tested. Some things that should be butter from paper specs simply do not function in reality, or not well.
I may never be a pro. I simply like being aware enough to tinker, build my own, and such. It is my version of sports. Only, as a general rule, I don't have to worry about one of my "teams" throwing the game for individual fear or payoffs. I do have some worry about one of the teams getting lazy, or greedy, in other ways. But there are enough fans who will boo loudly enough that even my rheumy ears catch wind. Though, sometimes, fan boys will be fan boys, and perfection will be demanded that just can't really work. Well, and, sometimes, what is is.
After I get this going, my next move is to update, secure, add linux, and set up in other ways this (the one I am using right now) computer for a more secure online use. The gaming rig isn't for online. Anything I need, after initialization of some things, will be gotten through this machine, downloads, and a thumb drive. With a little care and tweaking, this ancient computer can last another four or five years. More if components last, if I may have to switch purely to linux if windows keeps up it's queer intolerance to the free-market and forces it's old OS's off the page, one way or another.
Oh... right... Dishes were finished, machine is as complete as possible without a trip to town. But a shower is needed. I just... need a bit of sit time to wake. What a rush, though, already. Too asleep to have realized how much I did end up rushing. Cool. Didn't wear me out, I'm just back to normal waking routines is all. A bit of time, a shower, a bit more time, then... who knows. Might get a decent part of the machine together tonight. I will be taking it slow though, and just doing a few very specific things at a time... say... cpu install, then sata III connections, then take a break. Then come back and connect the board to the power button and speakers so I have those controls. Just a bit at a time, so I really know what and were with a clear mind. Yeah, you can sort of do it all in a nebulous cloud... but that is better if you have a lot more, and more current, experience. For now I need to keep it simple, and have the instructions fresh.
Later.
Sunday, November 1, 2015
Yeah, well...
.
.
I didn't get back to the dishes, so no shower yet. I did open up the space for tinkering with the computer. I laid out the anti-static mat, hooked up the various connections for the various bands and other grounds, if they aren't yet hooked up to the power supply, nor is that plugged in. I then set up the components and case for easy access.
While I was at it, I decided to do some of the minor things which do not require me being grounded. I changed out two of the 230 mm fans. Actually I changed them all out. I had hoped to put a blue one on the front panel and side panel. Nope. The front panel simply didn't have mounting holes that worked with the new fan. I must have spent an hour trying various alignments, comparing it to the fan I removed, and just... working everything I could imagine. It simply would not fit. I didn't give up so much as realize that without some dubious physical modding, it just would not fit. And the modding? I could always use small bungee cord or the material and a little imagination. It would always be a bit doubtful. I'd have to use the small gauge bungee cords that look like parachute cord. Some come with balls, with which to wrap and tighten. Hmm. I may have some of those somewhere. I might just try it. The trick is to get it tight enough that there is no rattling! That is unnerving.
I also put in the two blu-ray drives. Yes, writers. They (manufacturers and makers, big and small) are pushing people away from discs. They want us to download everything. Some of it is to be green (a fiction) or to push downloading software (supposed to secure patents, copyrights, and such, but just as often a way to break into your computer for any number of reasons, and not in your favor in any way save lazy convenience). Don't do it, boy! Force them to offer cd/dvd/blu-ray discs. If you don't own a copy, do you even honestly own the software? No. You are renting, and that rent is subject to their changing the rules at any time, potentially requires being online to even use "their" software, and their stuff might remove software you have put on it if it thinks you shouldn't have it... software unrelated to it. Yeah, I'll keep those drives. And I might begin learning to crack. If they want war, they'll get it.
I also added the hybrid drives. I did a few other odds and ends as well. Installing the 120 mm fan for video card cooling shield (not vital now, but I'll be doing sli/xfire when my card's price drops $100, then it will be needed), then reinstalled the shield, installed the power supply, and just gave the case and some of the other components a once over, as I think about how to keep the installation clean. Hiding wires can be easy or not. Sometimes, no matter what, something just doesn't, and can't be made to, look just right.
Yes, I really enjoy this sort of thing. It is risky, which is something I do enjoy. It is technical, if in a more minor way. I would say there is more tech in figuring out what runs best with what, aiming and tweaking the building, listening to pro's but not just following like a complete tool, and such. Putting it together is minor work. The real work is using the mind to begin with, and learning what these things actually mean. Some suggest that you aren't really tech unless you know how these things work. The problem, and argument, I have with that notion is... I don't think even the manufacturers honestly know how these things work. They know, sort of, mostly, that they can get certain functions from the electronic components (most of the time). But just as often, that is merely a buildup of engineering that has worked more than theory that has been brought to practical applications. Much like rocket science. Even now, neither are truly science, merely engineering stacked to a point where, when someone goes into those fields with practical application, they just use those stacks of data, then trial and error, until... *poof* it... sort of, mostly, usually, or sometimes works... depending on how well they did their trial and error and engineering studies. Bleh.
If the ssd's arrive tomorrow... I just am not sure. Depends on when they arrive and when I wake. I might be able to get some things going tomorrow, though I won't swear to it. One thing I forgot is that I need a grounded shielded multi-outlet kit, and probably a grounded extension cord, so I can get the grounding I need before working on the hard drive and motherboard. I will be putting that together outside, making sure it will post and the components work, before putting that all in the case. It just works better that way. If I can, I might get out tonight and get that. I'd have to do dishes first, and get a shower in. Being done with the new computer, having done as much as is possible without the rest of the required grounding equipment, I just might get to those dishes, and a shower. Walmart is good enough for this sort of thing, and is 24/7 minus Christmas? Yeah, I think that is it minus floods and other natural disasters.
Well, later.
.
I didn't get back to the dishes, so no shower yet. I did open up the space for tinkering with the computer. I laid out the anti-static mat, hooked up the various connections for the various bands and other grounds, if they aren't yet hooked up to the power supply, nor is that plugged in. I then set up the components and case for easy access.
While I was at it, I decided to do some of the minor things which do not require me being grounded. I changed out two of the 230 mm fans. Actually I changed them all out. I had hoped to put a blue one on the front panel and side panel. Nope. The front panel simply didn't have mounting holes that worked with the new fan. I must have spent an hour trying various alignments, comparing it to the fan I removed, and just... working everything I could imagine. It simply would not fit. I didn't give up so much as realize that without some dubious physical modding, it just would not fit. And the modding? I could always use small bungee cord or the material and a little imagination. It would always be a bit doubtful. I'd have to use the small gauge bungee cords that look like parachute cord. Some come with balls, with which to wrap and tighten. Hmm. I may have some of those somewhere. I might just try it. The trick is to get it tight enough that there is no rattling! That is unnerving.
I also put in the two blu-ray drives. Yes, writers. They (manufacturers and makers, big and small) are pushing people away from discs. They want us to download everything. Some of it is to be green (a fiction) or to push downloading software (supposed to secure patents, copyrights, and such, but just as often a way to break into your computer for any number of reasons, and not in your favor in any way save lazy convenience). Don't do it, boy! Force them to offer cd/dvd/blu-ray discs. If you don't own a copy, do you even honestly own the software? No. You are renting, and that rent is subject to their changing the rules at any time, potentially requires being online to even use "their" software, and their stuff might remove software you have put on it if it thinks you shouldn't have it... software unrelated to it. Yeah, I'll keep those drives. And I might begin learning to crack. If they want war, they'll get it.
I also added the hybrid drives. I did a few other odds and ends as well. Installing the 120 mm fan for video card cooling shield (not vital now, but I'll be doing sli/xfire when my card's price drops $100, then it will be needed), then reinstalled the shield, installed the power supply, and just gave the case and some of the other components a once over, as I think about how to keep the installation clean. Hiding wires can be easy or not. Sometimes, no matter what, something just doesn't, and can't be made to, look just right.
Yes, I really enjoy this sort of thing. It is risky, which is something I do enjoy. It is technical, if in a more minor way. I would say there is more tech in figuring out what runs best with what, aiming and tweaking the building, listening to pro's but not just following like a complete tool, and such. Putting it together is minor work. The real work is using the mind to begin with, and learning what these things actually mean. Some suggest that you aren't really tech unless you know how these things work. The problem, and argument, I have with that notion is... I don't think even the manufacturers honestly know how these things work. They know, sort of, mostly, that they can get certain functions from the electronic components (most of the time). But just as often, that is merely a buildup of engineering that has worked more than theory that has been brought to practical applications. Much like rocket science. Even now, neither are truly science, merely engineering stacked to a point where, when someone goes into those fields with practical application, they just use those stacks of data, then trial and error, until... *poof* it... sort of, mostly, usually, or sometimes works... depending on how well they did their trial and error and engineering studies. Bleh.
If the ssd's arrive tomorrow... I just am not sure. Depends on when they arrive and when I wake. I might be able to get some things going tomorrow, though I won't swear to it. One thing I forgot is that I need a grounded shielded multi-outlet kit, and probably a grounded extension cord, so I can get the grounding I need before working on the hard drive and motherboard. I will be putting that together outside, making sure it will post and the components work, before putting that all in the case. It just works better that way. If I can, I might get out tonight and get that. I'd have to do dishes first, and get a shower in. Being done with the new computer, having done as much as is possible without the rest of the required grounding equipment, I just might get to those dishes, and a shower. Walmart is good enough for this sort of thing, and is 24/7 minus Christmas? Yeah, I think that is it minus floods and other natural disasters.
Well, later.
Yes, no, maybe?
.
.
Do I look like a woman, or like I'm awake? Default is no until further processes are functioning. Wait, that is rather feminine. But they learned it from us! Stole pants too, but they can look good in them. *grins* Don't hate me, blame it on my bootup routines, well, and the truth!
I slept well. I'm not waking until 17:00 though. Having to use an alarm at that. Which... isn't the best. I think I went down at... actually I am not sure. I know, for waking, day over day, I lost two hours, waking around 15:00 yesterday. I think. It's the growing darkness and added cool. The latter... actually both... suit me fine. Most of the rest of you simply have to push on through, and be grumpy. *smile* We really do live in a day and time that is unnatural. While working from morning to early evening is a rather European thing, which was unnatural as well, America has taken that and doubled down into serious expectations of effort. While that is totally collapsing with this generation, employers aren't capitulating just yet. Going foreign in a last-ditch attempt. Though doing that even more than necessary to cut costs. While not realizing, one way or another, they are also cutting their bottom line. Pay your employees less, as an across the board thing nationwide in all industries and? And people have less to spend.
Americans are the major buyers of anything new, innovative, odd, one off, or cutting edge especially. Not every American in every area. From hot-rod kits to screaming computing machines for home to fancy housing items. Chinese can't afford what our working poor can buy. Russians are rich in comparison but also can't afford toasters! Europeans are, on average, our upper class working poor. There isn't another consumer base like America. And our leaders have decided to end our prosperity. Every policy out of the government for the last nearly eight, but honestly more like 24 years, has been directly and intentionally or not aimed at destroying that middle class. And it has succeeded. But there is a price. The wealthy buy fancy, but they don't buy much. A hundred million dollar yacht doesn't make up for thirty million $10-$30 k sport/speed/fishing boats (and all that goes with them, such as trailers). The volume isn't there. And the wealth taken for the creation isn't spread around either. Still, Americans were too busy believing politicians to see what they were doing. It wasn't until Bush the Younger's second dance with disaster that I realized the gig was up, myself.
Yes, companies have slit their own throats. Currently just trying to stay afloat, but by supporting an academia that more and more spent huge amounts per child and have children that only feel good about themselves but often can't negotiate making change or reading and following simple instructions. It must be daunting doing interviews. A college degree provides little better, and more adds an insulting attitude of deserving a job and a social say through it. I guess this is how civilization will grind to a halt. It takes competent workers, a reasonably indifferent and uninvolved government (so it doesn't interfere), a viable ability to easily generate an income, family, and faith. Which of those areas even exist at this point. It was never perfect, but those things did exist. Now?
Anyway... I meant to take a shower, but without thinking, I reset the dishes to soak. No real problem. I have been showering every or every other day for a while now. And this will get me focused on doing those last dishes, I really want another shower today. Love those when I am feeling up to it, or more, simply able. I have really been thinking of, somehow, getting one of those walk-in baths. It wouldn't be something I'd buy tomorrow. And they are exceedingly expensive. Further, they might actually be too small for me. The idea of them leaking is terrifying. But the prospect of a bath two to three times a week, plus showers, is wonderful. Much easier to clean than a standard tub, too.
Well, I best get to something then. With the shower out while the dish rinse water cools, perhaps I can finish at least the area for the computer while I wait. Later.
.
Do I look like a woman, or like I'm awake? Default is no until further processes are functioning. Wait, that is rather feminine. But they learned it from us! Stole pants too, but they can look good in them. *grins* Don't hate me, blame it on my bootup routines, well, and the truth!
I slept well. I'm not waking until 17:00 though. Having to use an alarm at that. Which... isn't the best. I think I went down at... actually I am not sure. I know, for waking, day over day, I lost two hours, waking around 15:00 yesterday. I think. It's the growing darkness and added cool. The latter... actually both... suit me fine. Most of the rest of you simply have to push on through, and be grumpy. *smile* We really do live in a day and time that is unnatural. While working from morning to early evening is a rather European thing, which was unnatural as well, America has taken that and doubled down into serious expectations of effort. While that is totally collapsing with this generation, employers aren't capitulating just yet. Going foreign in a last-ditch attempt. Though doing that even more than necessary to cut costs. While not realizing, one way or another, they are also cutting their bottom line. Pay your employees less, as an across the board thing nationwide in all industries and? And people have less to spend.
Americans are the major buyers of anything new, innovative, odd, one off, or cutting edge especially. Not every American in every area. From hot-rod kits to screaming computing machines for home to fancy housing items. Chinese can't afford what our working poor can buy. Russians are rich in comparison but also can't afford toasters! Europeans are, on average, our upper class working poor. There isn't another consumer base like America. And our leaders have decided to end our prosperity. Every policy out of the government for the last nearly eight, but honestly more like 24 years, has been directly and intentionally or not aimed at destroying that middle class. And it has succeeded. But there is a price. The wealthy buy fancy, but they don't buy much. A hundred million dollar yacht doesn't make up for thirty million $10-$30 k sport/speed/fishing boats (and all that goes with them, such as trailers). The volume isn't there. And the wealth taken for the creation isn't spread around either. Still, Americans were too busy believing politicians to see what they were doing. It wasn't until Bush the Younger's second dance with disaster that I realized the gig was up, myself.
Yes, companies have slit their own throats. Currently just trying to stay afloat, but by supporting an academia that more and more spent huge amounts per child and have children that only feel good about themselves but often can't negotiate making change or reading and following simple instructions. It must be daunting doing interviews. A college degree provides little better, and more adds an insulting attitude of deserving a job and a social say through it. I guess this is how civilization will grind to a halt. It takes competent workers, a reasonably indifferent and uninvolved government (so it doesn't interfere), a viable ability to easily generate an income, family, and faith. Which of those areas even exist at this point. It was never perfect, but those things did exist. Now?
Anyway... I meant to take a shower, but without thinking, I reset the dishes to soak. No real problem. I have been showering every or every other day for a while now. And this will get me focused on doing those last dishes, I really want another shower today. Love those when I am feeling up to it, or more, simply able. I have really been thinking of, somehow, getting one of those walk-in baths. It wouldn't be something I'd buy tomorrow. And they are exceedingly expensive. Further, they might actually be too small for me. The idea of them leaking is terrifying. But the prospect of a bath two to three times a week, plus showers, is wonderful. Much easier to clean than a standard tub, too.
Well, I best get to something then. With the shower out while the dish rinse water cools, perhaps I can finish at least the area for the computer while I wait. Later.
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