Awake for hours.

.
.
Not much, any, effort put into it.  If I need more sleep I'll take it.  Aspirin helped, if it does nothing for exhaustion.  Though pain is an exhaustion multiplier.  A new type of pain, something between heartburn and indigestion.  Probably from starting eating again.  It's never fun ending an extended fast.

I am beginning efforts to sort sweeteners.  There was a lot of crystalization in the bottles, on the caps, and in the droppers.  I cleaned that out, though whether appearances are enough I don't yet know.  I will say this, the stuff is a lot less sweet than it used to be.  If this works, I'll have to refresh and clean the dropper bottle monthly.  As well, put the main supply in a double or triple dehydration preventitive system.  Perhaps putting dropper bottles in single systems, such as zip-locks or sealing containers.

Being a bit before time to let the ducks out, and suspecting I'll be asleep for twelve hours when I go down, I am hoping to make it the two hours, and get them out.  I'll have to break open the water.  Every other day with that.  The fellow who I received the ducks from heats the water.  I didn't want to tell him, so sound as a know-it-all... more than I already do, but I think that makes it freeze faster.  Plus, that is something I heard somewhere... unsure.  Though since the water here stays thawed all day, but not there, I suspect so.  I am almost sure if I emptied it a bit, and dragged it in, it wouldn't freeze.  Hmm, worth a shot.  I just hate them not having water, thus food.  Though perhaps that  is good for them?

I also fed the girls an extra time.  Sam is happy, Sassy is still giving me some stink-eye.  I understand.  I still chuckle.  I am cool enough again finally to turn the furnace up, while awake.  Now, again, I need it.  I just need to remember to turn it off before bedtime or it is too hot for me to sleep.

Not laundry, or dishes save for the sweetener droppers.  I'm still worn, wear easier, far too quickly.  Just doing the droppers about dropped me.  Less pain, and that just from getting my g.i. to work again.  I'm almost enjoying life again.  Although I am glad for the pain.  It goes to those in pergatory, some I might know... suspect, some I don't know... the nameless to the world, the forgotten.

Oh, right, gravy.  It is a solid means of increasing fats in a meal.  Of course, generally based on flour, it is verboten.  There are other flours... almond seems preferred, though I would like to research coconut flour.  Further, I have doubts about the raw thickening power of almond flour, either kind.  So I looked into xanthan gum.  An half teaspoon (or full depending who tells the tale) per cup of fluid.  Those combined, plus liquid smoke or paprika (latter for color), should work.  May look into psyllum husk (?spelling?) as well.  Good for gluten free fixings as well.

Later, or good night.

Much better.

.
.
Still exhausted.  No food through three to five days of fever and as I think on things a few days of illness before that, a week?  Putting food back in, slowly.  Started with milk, now chicken and milk.  It'll take a week to strengthen up, but will require consumption and work, a push-pull effort.  Food doesn't taste all that good, then again the deeper in keto I get, the more that is true.

Blood sugar is high.  I couldn't drink unsweetened tea, sorely needed fluid when I could drink, so used the sucra drops as needed.  It's an older container, which may be the problem.  If I can prove it to be dehydration, I may create a solution to the problem.  I'm in a bit of a problem otherwise.  Plain tea is as difficult for me to drink, in the volume needed,  as plain water.  They both irritate the throat until I actually can't eat or drink.

If the bit of food I could eat gives enough energy, I'd like to get a shower or bath, and maybe start laundry.  Probably then back to bed.  Then, each time I can wake for longer than moments, the goal is to eat a bite or three and do some work.  For now, gaming, to stay awake long enough to let the food do it's job, or at least begin expanding my wake cycle.

It's been a rough one.  I expect this every three to five years.  Actually I would get this worse, and every other year when I allowed vaccination.  Yeah, no.  I won't enrich failure.  I can't believe so many people do.  So many just follow along with the crowd, and poor advice.  It makes big pharma a lot of extra money, never kept me well, go figure.  I actually wonder if the vaccines are going to increase virulence.  As with any government involved operation, you have to wonder how unintended just such a consequence is.  Trust?  Verify.  How can I verify when the companies and government agencies involved hide, and are allowed to hide, the real information?

Later.

Amazing how difficult simple efforts can be.

.
.
When ill.  I did use the small sledge hammer and steel stakes, but that usually isn't difficult.  I didn't think aluminum stakes would go into frozen dirt, didn't think the rubber mallet would drive the stakes.  Though, to be honest, I suspect both would have been equally exhausting.  On the good side, I feel better, with the covering.  I used part of the broken cap on top.  Wasn't sure the staked bag b would hold, seems to, if not fully covered.

The ducks were happy to go in.  Being so tired, this was a gift.  The temp is reading around 30° F, give or take.  Which made doing the projects much easier.  This type of illness makes cooler temperatures much more difficult.  At 30°, compared to 12°, it didn't hurt, if it was still exhausting.

You have no idea how difficult editing has been.  Fevers are anti-logic.  If there are still large errors, be patient.

Back to bed.  Food almost sounds good, I just can't do the work.  Good night.

Doing what I can.

.
.
Sleeping still.  Most of the day.  So much pain and weakness.  I haven't been drinking either.  I finally got to drinking.  My throat was parched.  I feared the chapping would get stuck and I might choke.  Some of it was dried blood.  A quart of milk, then I will try that and double tea.

The girls have been patient.  While they had dry cat food, it has been several days since canned food.  I tried, I was just so hard hit I couldn't feed them.  It actually hurt to be awake and out of bed.  I had to restock their food, which was actually hard on me, having to stand, even sorting the cans.  In my condition it was a lot of work.  Oh, I'll grab a new bottle of aspirin.

I realized a water problem.  The water connection has not been covered.  It froze last time it was left uncovered.  That would be a major with the ducks and my illness.  I don't know who to call, though I know some folk who might, called them.  And, tonight, I'll put a plastic bag over the hole, stake it down, then pray that works until a proper cover is installed.

Back to bed.  The girls shouldn't be bothering me.  But the organs are terribly troubling.  If I can sleep deeply enough though... later.

Almost edging towards better.

.
.
To bed, again, nearly directly, at 0:30.  Then awake at 7:30.  Just long enough to handle the ducks.  A very fast effort in brutal cold, given the fever.  Though at 12° F, It has started to count.  I used to be able to handle -20° F, now 20° F is closer to the limit.  Not always, though the fever makes it much worse.  Pain everywhere, doesn't help.

Everything has a tint of feverishness,  it is in the eyes, various pains, burning lungs, no way out.  Extra sleep isn't helping.  I woke two hours after going back to sleep.  I still hurt.  Actually I am a bit more rested, if all pains are equally troubling.  Tea is all I can drink, if not well.  I have given up on food for now.

I am taking medicine and feeding the critters.  It's rough, a challenge.  Oh, and perpetual bloody noses.  Every time I finish one I wake to another.  I keep groups of Kleenex at the ready, enough to stop and reset an half dozen bloody noses if need be.

I haven't been this sick in a long time.  At least no fevered dreams for the moment.

I thought I might wake for a while, but I don't think so.  I can't believe how heavily I am falling.  I simply can't wake.  A prayer would always be welcome.  Later.

Not bad.

.
.
It was difficult to remain awake.  The aspirin did it's job, or the pain subsided, maybe a bit of each.  The fever is... relieved, if it sits back behind the skin.  The skin still hurts, if more mildly.  The burning in the lungs is better.  The organs still hurt, just not as brutally.  Everything still hurts, only a third to two thirds less so.  While that might not sound great, it truly is.  There is in the frying pan and in the fire.  Neither sounds fun, neither is, but there is worse and much worse.  I'm horribly grateful for worse.

Back to bed, while I still feel comparatively better.  I am fully tired again, ready to sleep another twelve hours or more, if I need to feed and water the ducks and cats.  It might be a quick up then back down.  If I go too far sideways I may have to compromise safety for food and water.

Good night.

PAIN!

.
.
The last day, day and an half, has been the harshest in memory.  On top of organ problems, achy muscles and joints, my skin has hurt to even touch.  Sleep has been the only reprieve, as if I had a choice.  My eye sockets were too sore to rub my eyes, still are.  Aspirin is being taken, 350 by four, if I may add a pill.  Everything, where, hurts in some twisted and terrible way.

Even so, I have been tending the ducks and cats.  I will eat if I can.  Not quite now... nausea from pain is a bit excessive.  I slept most of the day.  After several attempts, I was able to push out, if late, just after 21:00.  If late, the ducks are roosted.  I may mot be able to stay awake, if I hope to... extra sore from laying on sore skin, a side effect from fever, I think.  Rarely have I had such a terrible fever.

I have kept up on medicine, if my plans to begin checking bp has not succeeded.  Ugh.  If I can stay up, and aspirin solves some of the pain, fever, I might get to checking bp.  Later.

More like naps.

.
.
Down pretnear 20:00, awake around zero dark, or thirty.  I'll take morning meds, check bp and pulse, and perhaps get laundry going.  I started bacon wrapped chicken drumsticks and a pork roast, which should keep me in vittles for the week.  I would sure like veggies though, cabbage, a few potatoes, cauliflower... Soon.

Dishes and laundry, it is hoped.  And paperwork.  Food, mostly, first.  Not hungry in one way, yet starving under the skin.  It's strange lately.  What little I have been eating has been perfect.  Yet my system is acting as if I was eating fast carbs and drinking soda.  I am going to back cream off to every other day, perhaps every third day.  If it isn't that, then the sucra drops may have to be eliminated.  It is okay, usually.  It is either being doped with sugar water or dehydrating into something different?

Yesterday was cold for me, in spite of being well, rightly, fully clothed.  Cold later in the day that is.  Could not get or stay warm, if I suspect it was health issues.  When the heart isn't working well I can become cold even in high summer.  So far tonight it seems better.  No need to turn the furnace up, I have learned.  It doesn't help, only making me miserably warm when I improve.  Still more heat than cold sensitive.

Have a good morning, day, or night.

Had to wake.

.
.
The ducks need safety when darkness arrives.  They know how vulnerable they are, so huddle, stay quiet, in a sort of middle area, where escape in any direction is possible.  I prefer to have them in before dark, but my crushing need for sleep doesn't always allow that.  So tired still, may return for more sleep.

Tonight they were a bit more goofy.  They knew where to go, wanted to go there, and yet seemed to not know how to get in.  I just chuckled, which ended startling them in.  I laughed as they were going in, to a near revolt.  I stifled another bark of a laugh until I pushed them in.  Then let go to a cacophony.  They were just fussy tonight, and I found great mirth in that.

The benefit of tending the ducks is that I have a reason to pass the cat hard food and water on my way out.  Keeping up on their food and water makes for a more civil environment.  Cats get rather fussy when low on something.  But, they have gained patience.  They give me four to six hours after waking before they begin asking for food.  On my part, I try to make it so they rarely have to ask.  On the very rare day they don't get canned food, they can last two days before cutting loose.  They are quickly fed, when they become aggressive, with apologies, and it suffices as long as rare.

Meds are back on normal track, as long as it lasts.  Morning meds in the morning, night meds at night.  My sleep schedule is still wonky, but more with two sleeps/naps per twenty four hour cycle.  Staying up past noon, up by 2:00, so morning meds can be taken early... if remembered.  Today is the fifth, after tonight's medicine, of full dose, every dose.  I may start bp readings... no reason to check until medicine is in, regular, and full dose.

I did get the trash out.  I'd like to bring the barrel back before crashing.  No laundry started, or dishes.  Ugh.  Needed.  When I wake?  I hope.  I'll keep at it.  Later, or good night again.

Almost a nap.

.
.
Up at 2:00 or so, down around 13:00, if probably closer to 14:00.  No choice, crashed hard.  Back up at 17:30.  Wouldn't have been able to push out then if I didn't realize the squad was solemnly staring at the door to what is now home.  They just huddle, face the door... about seven feet away... and stare, once the sun goes down.  They actually more remind me of penguins than ducks, the way they stand tall and walk upright.  I like them as they are in any case.

I'm amazed that I can go out in that cold for ten, fifteen, up to an half hour, in nothing but pj's, and right after crawling out of bed.  Perhaps longer, there simply hasn't been any call.  It sure makes the 70 setting seem good upon returning.  I think helping the ducks will end up offering returns beyond eggs.  Daily dailies, exposure to the heat and cold, a few more friends, and some healthy laughter.  Since I am never in a hurry, if one splits off, I can enjoy how, between it and I, the squawker finds it's way home.  Or, various other issues.  Oh, they can be seriously funny.

Their water was okay, but I like refreshing it every other day anyway.  Either that or refilling and hoping it won't freeze.  I haven't had great luck with the latter.  I think it is duck... stuff... sediment... which keeps the water from freezing as quickly,  along with volume.  Adding water does increase volume, but reduces sediment by volume, removing some in inevitable overflow.  OR it has merely usually been colder most nights I tried that.

If I could get a thermometer I trusted to check against a thermometer which could be trued which also showed the lowest temperature in the last twenty four hours, then could check that regularly enough, perhaps I could begin to know better.  Can't know in absolutes, anything.  But even working knowledge is limited without quantifying sediment... as well as a few other variable treatments, accountings, although with just those, a functional understand may be established.

A bite, then gaming.  I am hoping to start with laundry and reset dishes again tonight.  Trash will go out tonight.  I put it out by 10:00 last week, but it was oddly too late.  Not this week, it is so full.  I think, as troubling as meds were, are, can be, they are starting to help again.  Help more than hurt, I should say.  Later.

A good sleep.

.
.
Too much sleep, but needed.  I will try to sleep a bit more.  Trying to push for regular days is too much.  I am probably sleeping too much, if that still isn't enough for my body.  Until medicine and winter are figured out.  I haven't been fighting sleep, merely oblivious to the need... until red eyes and a bleary existence in general became impossible for even me to not notice.

Medicine seems to be smoothing.  I am just truly starting on a very regular schedule again, with them, but I was hitting half time plus since my last appointment.  V.A. doc called, and others.  It seems she will be resetting scripts, despite my seeming laziness. Not an exact quote.  I'll try to call them Monday, reset some things.  I haven't been able to do bp readings, I'll try to start that too.  They don't understand how crushing medicine and my health issues are.  Telling me to take care is like telling me to just be healthy.

I checked calories for raw cream, and general information.  A teaspoon contains 51 calories of which 50 is from fat, 5.51 g fat,  0.42 g carbs, and 0.31 grams protein.  The site says that is a 95% by fat ratio, while my calculations suggest a 98% by fat ratio.  I am well satisfied with my notion of consuming three quarts of the stuff a week.  My one concern is that, being liquid it doesn't work the same as solid food.

The goal is to figure out how much per day, and how to skip a day to three and still use that amount.  A quart is four cups, a cup is sixteen tablespoons, so... 3 x 4 x 16 is 192 tablespoons.  And 192 x 51 is 9,792 calories, divided by 7 is 1, 399 calories per day, divided by 51 is... 27 tablespoons... divided by 16 is 1.71 cups of yum per day.  Some days will be skipped, some of it will go into sauces, so...  But, yes, for keto?  Perfect.  I am not sure MTC oil is still required, though it has keto bonuses... might be held in reserve until I accidentally, or willfully, drop out of keto.

I have dropped out, or last I checked.  Diabetes has gone bad again as well.  I have been careful to, given my impossible to function, think, remember, focus situation, eat right.  Am I grazing? eating bad foods unaware? is my body just failing?  too much artificial sweeteners?  Can't know, not in this deep hard fog.  At least the ducks and girls are well tended.

Later.

Does another morning ever surprise?

.
.
Okay, not quite that bad.  Or, bad but I realized hard days like this isn't going to kill me. In a sea of dead days, this is an exceptionally difficult day.  Thankfully I just recently had a worse day.  I can't remember pain, but I have learned to... qualify the depth to some reasonable level of accuracy.  Even so, if it isn't very recent, within days, comparison isn't possible.  A few exceptions: the worst was getting used to a bad heart, perhaps exceptionally in that I was told the pain was all in my mind; then there was draino; next was the cracked ribs.  Each of the latter two took months.  The former... I still suffer.  It is what pains me, directly and not, to and on this day.

The ducks get let out, and back in, plus food and water;  the cats are fed, watered, and have their litter tended; I get fed, something, several times a day, even if just a hot fatted tea.  Exhausted as I am I do what is possible.  Gaming, too, as that is all that is possible.  Today is tough, but not from pain, directly.  It exists, but the real suffering derives from absolute exhaustion.  After putting the ducks in I will try to sleep again.

Later.

Me, myself, and ducks?

.
.
I think we are really beginning to get along.  I tend them at least twice a day, though sometimes more.  I am learning what can be done, regarding water.  It is easier, so far, to water them outside.  If it gets low volume, by a given night, it is easier to dump it after letting them in... or if it will be too cold or I suspect it will.  But they seem motivated to keep the water thawed during the day.

As well, we have a jolly time herding.  They squawk and fuss, if at this time the way small nieces and nephews while playing tag, or it.  I actually think they are beginning to like me.  An ugly adopted duck... huge, no bill, but good for food, water, safety and freedom as is best, if with strange quacks.  Sometimes I merely talk, other times I attempt to emulate.  My quack is awful.

Today has been the closest to a painless day since...  In a month?  More.  Why tell docs, their treatment methods are not acceptable.  I lived with bruised or cracked ribs for months without pain  pills.  Like it or not I will take pain before pills.  The exhaustion though...  No matter how long, or often, I sleep, I can't wake well, fully.  My eyes are staying a hangover shade of red-pink from exhaustion?  Perhaps too little oxygen?

Since days and nights are crossed, I am back taking medicine in the oppositional pattern.  It works.  Then I take the water pills at a time I am awake.  Otherwise they are at least partially wasted, and probably disturb my sleep as well.  I may attempt a nap shortly.  Oh, diabetes has become a problem again.  I'll have to work on it.  If, as someone noticed, I am nearing a catatonic like state.  Not lost of mind, just having my body lost to me.

Later?  Good night?

Attempting to get back to it.

.
.
First things first.  Which means medicine.  I couldn't find either medi-set, containers for two weeks of medicine, per.  I tried to take medicine out of the bottles, but that didn't work at all.  I pushed to find at least one of the medi-sets, did, and filled it.  I do my best, but especially when off off medicines and in winter or summer I can't guarantee.  So I check meds closely when taking them.

I changed vitamins back to the old way, one daily not two, plus adding minerals and a b super mix.  These really help deal with the water pill problems, such as leg cramps.  It also prevents as serious a drain on potassium.  I've experimented with more, less, and other.  This is about perfect.  Despite my calorie load by size requiring double the vitamins, while taking twice as much, but dropping the extras, I started cramping again.  Hmm, I still wonder about the extra plus two dailies... that water pill really takes it out.

I have gone another way with the ducks.  Instead of trying to keep water in and out, I just water them outside.  After speaking with the gent who sold them, watering them once or twice during the day seems enough.  With how my system works, they get watered all day.  The tub fills quickly.  Plus is the right size that between volume, the duck's thirsts, and bathing, it stays thawed, so far, all day.  I feed them inside and out, though.  Without water they eat less, but do eat some.  I really enjoy my little friends.

Oh, and in spite of all else, effort was made to begin climbing.  A simple lower single rope technique was arranged.  I didn't think I'd be able to do srt, single ascender.  I was correct.  There are other methods, including nearly double and triple pulley type riggings.  The goal is to get to single systems, just not yet.  Descend, sure.  Just not up... yet.  Part of the problems is medicine, both on and off, and the season... if those probably aren't the majority of the problem all combined.  I am too weak and still overweight.  Next time, a more complex setup.

Very rough.  Lots of pain.  I have been hitting the aspirin hard.  Not to ease the pain, save that focus and actions can happen.  It offers a larger chance at some function, better sleep, and a few other things.  Brutally painful, some days.  I have a lot to do, slim chances at doing it.  I'll keep at it.

Cold out there.

.
.
The outdoor thermometer I trust read 12~13 ° (F).  Which isn't horrible, unless you are wearing thin pj's or working with water, or both.  I am and was.  It looks like I'll be redoing water morning and evening pretty much from now on.  I could only imagine doing it for more or larger animals.  If my... when my sleep schedule is off, I'll just have to do it when I can, but twice a day.  They require water to eat.

I have started medicine, but it is brutal.  Everything hurts, and my sleep patterns are going wild.  I was stuck in night mode, but it was regular... ish.  Now I am sleeping and staying awake or asleep in six to twelve hour increments.  For some reason, it is blocking up the nasal passages too.  It all works out eventually.

I actually started this early morning, but crashed so hard I couldn't finish until mid-afternoon.  Still tired.  May barrel roll back to bed still.  Later.

Too hungry.

.
.
I kept trying to eat less.  Succeeded, but without results.  Blood sugar is staying in the 160's ~ 180's.  So, yesterday, I made a placket of chicken drumsticks, and ate them.  While tasty, I realized, after gorging twice, that the problem was not enough fat.  Pork ribs and bacon was thawed for tonight.

Rather than have them separately, I combined them.  Pork ribs aren't the fattest, at least not these.  Wrapped in two pieces of bacon, however, and you are getting there.  I haven't done this before, so had to make it up.  I cooked the rip cuts partially first, then wrapped them in bacon for another equal time, having flipped them halfway in each cooking half.

It added a lot of flavor and the fat I needed.  A few smaller pieces and I am absolutely stuffed.  Two pieces is all I need, unlike the chicken, of which seven pieces just, mostly, worked.  Ugh, way too full.  May have to see if bacon wrapped chicken works.  Not a bad trick, if working with partially cooked meat is novel and... odd.  Worth the price of admission.

Crashing.  Ate too much in spite of being a tiny... smaller anyway, amount.  Nap time?  Later.

Stuck.

.
.
I did get out, to buy cat food and litter, mostly.  The cats have solidly chosen the cheaper... i should say less expensive... litter, it works just as good as the pricier brand.  Even when the litter of choice became rank, my very bad, they still wouldn't use the other.  I think it's the strange, strong, and large volume of dust the expensive stuff dumps airward when disturbed.  All good.

If I keep up on it, clean mostly daily, freshen with extra before it gets too bad, three bags will last well over a month, going on two.  At $5 instead of $9 per bag, I too like the less expensive.  I will remove that last pan of it from the trials, even if mostly unused.  With it taking space but not being used, it exacerbates the wear on the others.  The girls rotate well when given right options.

I also needed t.p. and paper towels.  I want to use cloth more, but I am terrible about keeping up on those, as opposed to paper towels.  And some jobs are just too nasty for cloth.  Throwing cloth is further out of my financials and less resource managing.  A big group of t.p. this month, another next, and I am good for a year or more.  I usually keep two big packs on hand, but forgot, then finances snuck up on me.

Oh, I also bought a few large tall shirts at walmart, various brands, to see if a large is true.  It is!  They even had large talls!  Anyway, it looks like I am actually, at 260~265 pounds into 38 waste and a large shirt size.  I am aiming at 36, maybe 34 waist.  I don't think I ever did, or could, fit a medium shirt.  But a slimmer waist would look even better.  As is, my still 52" chest going down, if over a smaller belly... slight tire... to the 38" waist, is starting to look... better.  A large?  A "v" chest again?  Crazy.

The ducks won't be out today?  Hmm, I have to feed them, so perhaps.  But they won't get the whole day out.  I need to check their water, it is freezing every night now.  I guess it is a daily, perhaps to become a twice daily?  Ugh.  I best get too it, check the cat litter and change that one out.  The indoor girls are quite happy to have litter cleaned and dry food back in supply.  Life might be picking back up.

Later.

Strange.

.
.
Rumbles from the past.  One has been named as significant, the other was passed off as something I never saw it as.  I... didn't want to write it as such.

Is she thinking of me?

.
.
I suppose... I could hope.

She is definitely on my mind.  Oh, she knows who.

Darker.

.
.
Much darker much earlier.  I needed to recharge batteries for my hefty flashlight after last night.  I don't think I used it much.  It's more that it was left in the auto a few nights, when it dipped below freezing.  The real problem with all batteries.  Though there are other problems.  Batteries can only be counted upon for a short bit, after a collapse.  Solar rechargeable or not.  Still, charged and blazing tonight.

Anyway, it's easier to herd the feathered pals when it is darker.  Shining the light in the coop, when they see little else, and they know home.  The only trick is to get around behind them, to shine on into the hutch or they become reluctant to enter.  Then I need to approach from behind to seal the deal even so.

I had to laugh.  While they could see the light, from the source on out, and hear me approach, when I  spoke, to calm them, I ended up doing just the opposite.  They went from church women in the pews to the same, but later in the bingo parlor.  I had to laugh, a bark... then stifle that and just grin so as to avoid a flight back out into the yard.  A bit of extra food, plus their water looked good enough... changed yesterday, and tomorrow.  I like that their home is getting aired.

So late, but a good day.

.
.
I went to bed relatively early, again.  It didn't matter.  Going down at 2:00 but I couldn't wake until 13:00, pretty much on both dots.  No pain.  All else seems good.

I chased my feathered friends out, broke the thin ice on their outside water, and took their food out for them.  They and I are working out just how to do things were hassle and fuss are minimal.  Then I open the coop as fully as possible, to let it air out.  It's a sunny but cold morning.  The ducks probably prefer the cold.  It's the summer that will get them, if winter will be the more complicated time for me as to water freezing.  I... have an idea or two in that regard.  We'll see.

Later.

A new, if dark, day.

.
.
Down shortly after 6:00, at about the last post... despite the obama timestamp.  It'll take a while to bring white truth back to America.  Depending on whether deep state does a soft coup or if democracy and Trump wins today will dictate the speed... if... not in the way the crass might suspect.  Deny even the poor choice of political "choice" and people do it for themselves.

Anyway.  Waking at a bit after noon.  I did feed the ducks, but didn't, won't, put them out today.  Too gray of a day.  Though... I may try to push past such.  It is good for me to get out, ambulate, more with the herding thing.  Plus it is good for the ducks and the coop.  Cleaner, clearer.  I need a better, smaller, outside waterer... trough.  Perhaps extra feeders, just for outside.  It might not be much, but a few ducks has proven to be impetus enough to stretch my life just a bit more.  I may try to get them out five days a week, as a goal.  That gives me a few days off.

Oh, an oddity concerning the ducks...  I found the coop open yesterday afternoon, when I woke.  Which is fine.  I suspect a goodly neighbor has... thoughts for the birds, perhaps me, and does this kindness if they have time.  That isn't the odd thing.  I found one of the hens out.  I suspect a fowl quarrel lead to a window escape... quite probably accidental.  She returned to the inner door, begging to be returned to the... not gaggle but it'll do for a temporary plural... gaggle of quacks.  I'll need to 'fence' the windows.  Should have already.

After fatted tea in a bit, and a meat and egg platter, plus several hours... up to two... I'll do a blood test.  Oh, and the Veteran's Administration has told me, through the puppet, that they won't give out blood sugar testing supplies if I am not on insulin.  To save money.  This despite that with the tester I have learned to eat right rather than cost them over a thousand a month in two shots they were trying to force me to take.  A thousand dollars a month, PLUS glucose testing - versus thirty dollars (at least if they didn't make "unfortunate" back door deals for overpriced goods with unscrupulous crony capitalists).  Money savings?  What?

Get rid of the V.A., president Trump.  For the good of vets first, then the nation as a whole.  Flush the white collar criminal union, give vets a truly open health policy, free from the worst elements of bureaucratic and crony capitalist malfeasance.  We will go were doctors understand they are employees... or unemployed.  Burn it.

Later.

Not quite back to it.

.
.
One concern is tended.  On my return trip, I stopped for fast food, and caffeine.  As bad as "diet" soda is, without tea or my sugar alt, I went with regular soda.  Then, Saturday, I tore into the remnants of Halloween candy.  I had been hoping to offload it Friday but the opportunity fell through.  I finally tested Monday midday, expecting high 180's, perhaps more honestly into the 200's, maybe higher.  It was 124.  I generously called it pre-meal, but I think it was after-meal... between an hour and two after.

One test could be a fluke.  It is... promising.  I haven't been fasting, not even intermittent fasting.  Not quite enough fat for keto either... probably.  I'll test tomorrow, blood sugar and ketones.  Hungry.  Now.  Will have a bite before crashing.  Pork coins or a few chicken thighs?

I got the ducks out, then back into their home.  They don't go far, and always as a group.  It gives their roost time to air.  As well, if their food and water containers get too messy, it is easier and quieter to change those with the group removed.  They are beginning to leave and return with less prompting.  As well, I am learning duck rodeo-fu.  Like kung-fu, only with quacks.

Good night, and morning.

Mostly recovered from the three day stretch.

.
.
I have been awake, plenty, since returning Friday.  My sleep cycle is rife with holes... will have to be patched before an attempt at a day schedule can be attempted.  My body aches, of muscle and bone, from the shoulders up.  Hmm, while I rest I may try to remember neck and shoulder maneuvers every few hours.  So tired still I will otherwise blindly, simply, just... sit.

I put on a shirt that used to be too small.  It fits loose.  I didn't ever think it could fit.  The shoulders.  I didn't think I would fit a large... not extra large, a man's large.  I do need tall size, still, of course.  I just wanted to check another brand of large.  Crazy.  I am only down to the 260's, if I am muscling heavily somehow.  Not large bulk, but what I have is nigh onto feral, impossible, raw, strength.  Always been a sort of stupid strong.  This is heading back to crazy strength, by way of feral?  Yes.

I'll keep at it.  I also need to rest med-sets and begin testing bp again.  Ugh.  Can barely think.  I'll do it today high or hell water.  I have meat thawed, to be grilled.  Will have hot tea for fatted tea by the time that rolls around.  Ducks are fed and watered.  I won't push them out today... raining, gloomy.  I doubt if they care, it's more about me not wanting to herd them later.  Usually I will, several days a week, just not this day of recovery.

I called my mother.  All seems well.  It's good to talk.  This week I'd like to call my brother.  A few times a month.  I'd like to become friends again.  We have gone through phases.  I... think it is time to mature beyond phases.  And I enjoyed our last conversation, if that isn't the absolute point.  While many may be called brother, if your brother is not among them there is a problem.  Hopefully, if it works out, he might start calling when he feels the want or need to talk.  Once he... trusts.

Have a great day.  Remember the Lord's day.  Later.

Three days awake?

.
.
Until yesterday evening, yes.  Which made posting impossible.  The first night was a fuss from the early, false, drive to the appointment, the second was trying to get days and nights sorted.  The third day too.  Then it was Halloween.  I had to get candy and be up for visitors.  With the early appointment, it got too late for me to sleep.

I wasn't sure if I would make it, or back, but I did.  Then I stayed awake until early afternoon.  I crashed so hard I think I heard thunder with the impact.  I think it was a fourteen hour sleep, if I may go back to sleep, or get a nap in a few hours.  I am wavering on that, would prefer to be awake for a bit.

Medicine is again available.  And they will be supplying a blood sugar tester, if limiting it to twice a day.  Didn't want to since I refused their so-called medicine, but I told her food is my medicine.  They just don't get it. I, we, don't trust them or their medicine.  She keeps trying to convince me, but either won't or can't answer a set of questions that allow faith... her answers prove my disbelief.  Going on insulin is only slightly different than going on heroin.  Only without it you die.  Permanent.

Later.

Wrong day.

.
.
I thought I had an appointment today.  I stayed up, since I couldn't both sleep and make it to the appointment.  Oh well.  The only bad thing is the cost of gas.

I was testing blood sugar through the night.  It stayed around 130, checking every four hours.  I expected the fasting waking blood sugar to jump, perhaps up to 140 or more likely 160.  Nope, it was a 124 reading.  Fantastic.  I'll never quite figure this out.  Perhaps now that I am probably in ketosis, consuming body fat (?just not sure how well into keto, or if that really works as advertised?), maybe my body acts very differently to... many, all?, foods?

I let the ducks out before going to bed.  I gave the girls, cats, a treat during the night, but need to feed them soon.  I also got trash and recycling out.  Was today recycling?  Will know shortly.  Oh, and stopped at the post.  I didn't waste the opportunity of being up and out.  Of course, shaved and showered first.  Okies.

Later.

Not much.

.
.
I keep starting without finishing things.  I just get lost.  I'll get a shower shortly.

Blood sugar has been doing much better.  While it was 166 last night at bedtime, it was strangely lower fasting, at 159.  Unusual, unless this is the start of the breaking point were that becomes the norm.  I kept eating yesterday, which is why it was so high.  Anyway, the two other readings today were 130 then 133 later.  My seven day average is 147 for the week, down from 152 for the two week and 161 for the month.  I have finally recovered from visiting my mother.

The rough measure of ketones available to me suggests it is right at 80.  All good.  Perhaps to much protein today, but not a major complaint.

Forgot to mention...

.
.
While cleaning in the front room, the grip exercisers were found.  From one fifty to three fifty in fifty pound increments.  The Boss... I had said I got up to doing three fifty... he questioned how long ago.  I had to think.  Two, maybe three years ago?  Since I did any working?  Yes.

Anyway, that made me nervous to test.  I started with the three hundred gripper.  I was able to kick out five without thinking, then several more, right and similar left.  I could do about three or four half pulls on the three fifty.  All without real strain, wasn't up to pushing... I'm old, ill, ya know.  Yeah, I am satisfied.  When I got to doing three fifty regularly I became able to hurt my hands just by gripping things full force.

Not bad for an old, mostly dead, guy.  *grins*  Dang kids question everything.  They say, for an adult man, greater than 144 pounds is excellent.  For my age group alone though?  I guess that counts.  Serious mojo.

Not these escargot.

.
.
I tried this type before, but didn't rinse.  I ended with, it seemed, as much sand as meat.  I was unsure whether to try this kind again.  I had some so I did.  This time I rinsed the snails extremely well, several times.  Then fried shortly in butter and onions, adding sour cream to cool quickly plus add fat.  Far from cold, but no longer cooking, I ate.

No.  Too... gamey.  If you have ever eaten good and bad... gamey... frog legs you understand.  Gamey, for swamp critters, means swampy tasting.  The mire, decay, vegetal nature is what one is left with.  The texture was so-so.  I have other types I will try.  I have eaten wonderful escargot.  I am positive it couldn't have been fresh.  I truly desire the experience, so will keep trying.

The sauce was delectable.  I might like fresh garlic rather than powdered.  I might add lemon.  Or not.  Nice options if available.  Oh, just a rare holiday treat, so price... to a degree... isn't a major issue.  A bit disappointed.  I'll try again with one of the better brands.

Blood sugar, after eggs and chops, and a fatted tea dropped to 130.  It surprised me.  I took the read at what is usually the high after meal read, two hours after.  With nothing else save corn, because of the escargot debacle of '18, I am having another fatted tea, this time with MTC oil.  I need to remember that from now on.  Even twice a day, with or without the full ketonic load.  It really adds solid good extra fat.  Which really is working.  I'll take another read at 18:00 and 22-23:00 if still awake.

Later.

-------
Forgot to post.  The last blood sugar was 129, after more.  I tried two other cans of escargot.  What seemed best was one in which the snails were not precooked.  It still wasn't fantastic, only tolerable.  Perhaps more exacting effort or different or slightly different recipe.  Just baked in butter, perhaps garlic, with fresh lemon might work best.  Everybody needs an occasional luxury... and challenge in obtaining it?  I think so.

The problem is that I am still hungry.  Perhaps a glass of milk and sardines.  Not perfect, or terribly filling, but... doable and keto right.

Good night.  Probably.

A good morning.

.
.
Or.  Not a bad one.  I'm a bit worn and slightly down... more on the physical side of things.  Though the spirit and mind offer nothing to help dig out.  Still, I'm not truly in the dumps, just... worn, as suggested.  I'll check the chops in a bit.  If thawed, I'll have a few with eggs and fatted tea with said.  A fatted tea gets my fat count way up, quickly and easily.

A few stopped by.

.
.
I'm never sure.  According to blogger, my range the last four to five years has been from a low of just under a thousand to a high of 11,650 or so in a month.  Average is two to three thousand.  So far this month I hit about 3560.  Never sure about those numbers, if goog is just as likely to undercount as over.  Especially for those of us who bucked the rez.

Or, more, depending on if the sjw's get their hands on counter algo's.  They keep lists of bad thinkers, probably share data between federal bureaucracies such as the V.A. and social security through union "workers" (who are paid tax dimes to spy on malcontents) which share data with drivers license to auto registration and probably on to big tech.  So, hard to know how much, or when, someone in there is corrupting data or for what purpose.  Anyway...

Blood sugar was high this morning, at 162.  After a meal it dropped, but not much.  Dropping to 152, for what it was worth.  I did get hungry and so ate later last night.  All good for keto stuff.  Ugh.  Frustrating.  Often I have little trouble keeping blood sugar down, until right before doctor appointments.  Keto is back to between 40 and 80.  While I keep slipping on intermittent fasting (The last few days) I am certainly eating a very low calorie and higher fat diet.  Bleh.

Later.

Cancelled.

.
.
I had an appointment today.  Couldn't make it.  Just in bad shape.  Blood sugar was good, 130 fasting if I hadn't written, 141 later.  Not sure about after dinner.  I'm planning on a fatted tea before sleep.

I did make a shorter trip. Just to drop off paperwork to my doctor.  I am getting a copy, in case this bureaucracy also 'doesn't receive' the paperwork.  I also took the vehicle in for a cleaning.  Still a bit rough, but not the cleaner's fault.  It's just been to long.

It's a rough day.  Cool and dark.  I'll go on to bed shortly.  Tired.  Ill a bit.  I did get a shower and shave, and in all ways was ready to go.  I just... couldn't.  I did call, cancel, and reset.  There is that.

It's as good as a bad day gets.  Good night.

---------
A pleasant surprise update as I head to bed.  Didn't want to check blood sugar.  I bought a couple of Hardee's roast beef sandwiches, a medium and large.  No soda, just tea, with the one that lasted the trip home.  Still... bread.  Anyway, I tested.  My blood sugar was 116 four hours after the meal, or so?  All good.  Good night.

Uhmm, love the vibes.

.
.
They come pouring in sometimes.  Some from past loves, some from guys who get it... or want to.  Vicarious might be what is left?  Some from dames with... things of their own in mind.  Sometimes, usually, it's a small joy, sometimes grand, though it can be a terror.  Today it is a small joy, or more.  Too early to quite get the sense... other than that it is good or better.

Oh, fasting blood sugar was 130.  I haven't done anything different.  Yesterday it went 150 fasting, 180 after a fatted tea lunch, then 130 for bedtime.  Nothing but plain tea and that fatted tea... wait, I did have a can of corn and three drummies.  Hmm... same as the last few days.  I don't get it, but I'll take today's result.

Not good.

.
.
I don't hurt all the time.  Four or five hours a day it gets rough.  Thankfully aspirin handles it when I  need relief.  Too tired to do much, not tired enough to sleep.  The ducks and cats are tended.  I even mostly take care of self.  Mostly.  I need to do some things, but am having difficulty getting going.

Blood sugar was weird yesterday.  It started at 180 fasting, then dropped to 156 after my fatted tea, 165 after my one food meal, 152 without anything for hours.  Oddly it is starting out at 150 fasting this morning.  It's still lame for as little as I have been eating.  We'll see.

I sometimes wonder if sugar is being added to things.  It only takes a little, wouldn't be noticed in some things.  Though, perhaps some foods develop sugars?  Oh, ketones dropped to nil too.  All I ate yesterday was two fatted teas and three pieces of slightly overdone chicken drummies and about four ounces of pork roast.  Hmm, I drank a lot less, the last two days.  I wonder if that is, or part of, the problem?

I turned the furnace to 72, just because, yesterday.  I couldn't tell the difference.  I will definitely keep it at 68.  I used to turn it up before a shower.  I have decided that isn't helpful either.  I would go down to 66, but that doesn't give me much margin if the heat goes out.  Yeah.

This is my 9009th post.  Apparently someone IS counting.

Well, tea time.  First some cold, then hot fatted.  Later.

Oh, forgot to post.

.
.
Up around 9:00.  It is nearing noon.  The ducks were checked.  I opened their hutch, left it open for half an hour.  They didn't go outside.  Being wet, sprinkling or more, I didn't wish to put them out and chase them back in.  Still, they had the opportunity.  I'll be a bit more pushy on the next sunny day.  I want to do work in there.

Fasting blood sugar was 180.  Not fantastic but better then into the 200's.  Ketones are not just measurable again, but are between 40 and 80.  A fast return if I had been so much better.  It looks like impetus, keto momentum, ore something along those lines, if you get right back to it, might work to allow a faster return to ketosis.  Amazing.  It also means diabetes should be back under solid control shortly... the two seem to be kissing cousins, and least in my biosystems.

Hot tea for a fatted tea ketonic is on the way.   That usually lowers my blood sugar, with or without keto goop.  If so, I'll eat a small chunk of pork roast, with another fatted tea... the second without any keto goops.  Actually, a fatted tea minus goop, just tea and heavy raw cream, lowers my blood sugar the most and quickest.  Weird, if cool.  The blood test doesn't have a method or reason to lie.  And the data is contrary to my preferred theory, so it actually is a data confession, not a boast.

I was becoming worried.

.
.
My blood sugar not only spiked, it was stat at or above 200 for a bit more than 24 hours.  It finally went down to 171, after a farred tea.  Three hours since, it just hit 123.  Crazy that it took so long, then dropped so far so fast.  I'm a bit worried still.  It has popped back up for no good reason.

I did set the pond up, hopefully better.  But it was near their bedtime, and started raining.  Sprinkling, if with a chance of heavier, longer, rain.  I didn't wish to herd in the rain.  Tomorrow.  As well as cleaning, adding wood chips and leaves, plus adding friction, via bath grip tape, to the ramp... in an attempt to get them to nest on the platform.

I am going light on food.  Two fatted teas, with ketone crystals and various other of the mixes, plus four small chicken pieces, mostly drummies.  I'll go light on food until diabetes is back well into the good numbers.  Perhaps ketones too.  I can, might as well.  I am amazed the fatted tea isn't a problem, for either reading.  My weight is holding steady at 263.  No more loss, if as mentioned, that isn't actually the or even a point to the process.  I am losing size againg.  PJ's are falling off.  Time for new, before I lose them.  It seems as if I just got these.  But, okay.

I am burning up, and it is 68° F.  I was thinking it was the higher blood sugar... until the 123 reading.  Bah!  It could be holdover from... nope, it's been this way all week.  It... winter is coming.

An extra duck hen arrived.

.
.
They had six drakes but only one hen.  I had hoped for more hens, so asked about her. I'll have to offer them some beef next time I do a larger buy, or pork.  Meat in, meat out.  I then let them out, built up logs around a small tub, and let them out.  They didn't go far.  They also wouldn't get in the pool.  I'll see about building around the tub more, with rocks.  Though, maybe, they just don't have that in their specific breed nature.

Chasing them back in was more entertaining than frustrating.  I have improved my odds.  I yet need too feed them.  May let them out again, feeding them near the water. No worries about them drowning.  But first I'll build up a better approach to the tub.  They were enjoying the overflow.  Still, I am hoping they go swimming.  Perhaps they won't, since only two or three can be in at a time?  All together or none?  I should get a kiddie pool.  I thought this would do.

Blood sugar jacked and I dropped out of ketosis.  I think the potato salad did some of it, but it was jam and bread.  Oh well.  Might as well finish off the potato salad, if I will add horseradish and sour cream to the last of it, as per advice.  Chicken, cold for a change, to accompany for a late lunch before playing landscaper.

Later.

A haunt of perfume...

.
.
The echoes of heels.

Cleaning fowl.

.
.
We ended up only cleaning five.  Eleven were planned, but a skunk got in and killed the rest, and some ducks.  It isn't hard work, in a physical sense.  Killing gets to one a bit.  I can do it though.  Hoping for more practice.  They are done for the year.  They said winter butchering is an art of misery.  Next spring will be the next chance.  I won't start a spring batch, preferring a fall butchering time.  Spring is too fickle, weatherwise.

I was impressed with these chickens.  Larger and far better looking than anything I have seen at the store.  Removing feathers wasn't as bad as I has anticipated.  Removing the entrails was the trickiest, if more fore a need for delicacy while having such large hands.  Feather removal was more tedious than difficult.

All good.  I was sore and tired of body going into yesterday, so I am very rough today.  I wanted to learn, and help, no complaints.  I'll just have to move a little slower, take it a bit easier, this next week, maybe two.  Back, ribs, neck, legs, and more.  A serious headache brewing, and organ s screaming for no good reason.  I'll make it through.

Later.

More than possible.

.
.
I did make potato salad.  It was a bit bland, to me, but I couldn't figure out what was missing and more salt would have been too much.  I did salt the potato cubes while they cooked, or it is far worse.  Hmm.  I did find a pure dill relish that is quite good.   I used two kinds of mustard, the regular yellow and a stone ground type.  Perhaps the potato cubes were simply too large.  Still, a homemade potato salad is still a bit of a treat.

I had brots to offer as well.  The guests had to bring buns, as I ran out of time and energy on else.  It was perfect weather for an outdoor small picnic.  After, I slow cooked a pork roast and chicken hindquarters.  I sampled some of each.  I was worried that the blood draw would be bad this morning.

I didn't want to get up this morning, in part for fear of the blood test.  The other part for being sore.  I haven't written everything I have done in the last few days, but it has been much.  So I am sore and stiff today.  All good.  Aspirin, for I have chickens to help butcher, and more to do here as well.

As to the blood sugar?  Not bad, for a fasting draw... 155, which is six points higher than yesterday's fasting blood sugar, seven points lower than the day before that, seven points higher then total average for the week, four points lower than the two week total average.  As the fasting blood sugar, that is actually awesome.  As fasting blood sugar, until it goes to 120 or lower, is the highest reading of the day.  Yesterday's other readings were 137 after a hearty breakfast and 114 before dinner.

My guts hurt, but this time it has a simple cause.  I have been down, at home.  As such I have been wearing pj's.  So, putting on jeans and cinching down the belt, has put a bind where it has been unbound for a long time.  It has literally sqeezed the, well, crap out of me.  At least I didn't have to stew prunes!  Truth is I had become irregular, but not truly bound.  I was mostly out of food, and the battery was dead, plus money is low.  I simply wasn't eating much.  The belt mostly just pushed dust out.  :p  Still, a bit sore for that, bending to wash pots and pans, and a dozen other littler and bigger efforts.  Aspirin for certain.  That, fatted tea, and pork or chicken.

Oh, as for ketonic?  I actually have several types.  The one I usually discuss, is the base of fatted tea... tea and whole raw cow cream, with ketone salts (a single dose, were two or three doses are possible a day, as with all the additives listed after), a dose of taurine, a dose of berry green powder, and a dose of electrolytes.  Depending on what I am doing the rest of the day I may have another.  I may exclude some things, or all but fatted tea.  I use this on multiday fasts, sometimes.  On intermediate fasting days, I just have the fatted tea or two, as a means of getting more fat into my diet.  As with today.  It allows me to consume a small hunk of meat or a few small pieces of chicken, and still get enough fat and generally be satisfied.

Well... I'll see how the clothes are doing, reset the rinse to the remaining dishes, have something to eat, and then do a bit of crocheting before showering in prep for the trip.  I'll need to rest tomorrow.  Later.

Wonderful.

.
.
It is too early to see if I am back in the game for long.  But after a month, months?, of pretty much sitting, I got busy yesterday and am cracking the whip already this morning.  Waking a quarter to 8:00, my first thought was a grumble.  Usually, lately, it has taken me hours from waking to opening up the hutch.  So I grumbled. The ducks probably don't care all that much.  It is a matter of... consistency as a fowler, as a man of intent, to do right by those under my care.  Rights, say to eggs?  Responsibilities first.

Anyway, I wanted to begin in the house first.  I started pots and pans soaking, then reset the other dishes.  I want to make potato salad today.  So need clean... everything... and space.  After that, I gathered laundry from the bedroom and bathroom, took it back, sorted enough for three loads and will sort the rest in a bit... bedding tomorrow or Sunday as well.  Yeah.  Then I got out and fed the quackers, opening things up for them.  All before 8:00?  Yes, crazy fast, for me.

Blood sugar, after supper, was 159 an hour after, then 152 two hours out. I feared it might be really jacked this morning.  Nope. It was a reasonable 149.  If it continues it's (lately) usual pattern of dropping twenty to forty points, I'll be in very good shape.  The total result average is down to 154 (for 17 draws over the last week).  It's... gooder.  I want better, but this is enough.

A few things today, and Monday, and I can collapse again for a time, if needed.  I hope to dig in rather than fall, but you know it isn't always a choice.  Later.

Had to push.

.
.
With all the force I could muster it still took until noon to start.  A slow start.  I was running out of feed, for the ducks.  I was completely out for myself.  I hadn't been to the feed store before.  I believed I knew where it probably was, and sort of had it suggested.  It was as I thought.  I have enough for a good while, until I can sort other options.

After, to the grocery store and bank.  My card almost didn't go through at the store.  I tried it as credit and it worked.  However, at the bank atm, their machine ate the card.  They gave me a story of three wrong pin entries, which I know to be bunk.  Truth.  One wrong punch, got someone's or something's attention, and I look... very different.  Anyway, they wanted an up close and personal.  Funny thing?  Once in they never asked for my id.  They knew, but I look... lost a lot of weight, new very different glasses, and my hair wasn't in a tail... among other things.

I did get the cash I needed.  I am simply surprised they are watching accounts, or at least mine, that closely.  It may be time to go back to cash.

I grilled less expensive steak.  I was so hungry for meat.  I have enough food for a while.  Especially if I continue to go light with meals and frequency of them.  I am hoping to try cauliflower 'rice' this weekend.

Oh, butchering is on, Saturday.  Apparently Sunday best isn't required.  :p  I am looking forward to learning.  I'll become more of a homesteader yet.  Next thing you know, I'll have a flock of meat birds, or two, then a few goats.  Sneaks up on you.  Good night.

It is beginning.

.
.
A shower, so far.  A fatted tea as I write, with a shave yet to finish the morning.  Blood sugar tested to 119.  I never will understand why it dropped 48 points in a few hours.  I am not actually fasting, if I am eating less.  The kitchen is backed up.  Oh, the ketone strips indicate I am over 80, not to the deepest level. if deeper than I have ever been before.  I think I was stuck at 40 for the less fatty proteins.  It takes a bit to... get it through the head, decide to go for it, then sort it all out.

Crocheting went well, while I could keep at it.  I am going larger with the dishcloths.  The main problem that remains is getting the row ends to be even and general stitch tension regulation.  It is improving, if I think a thousand projects under the belt is probably just a start.  I think I could, in time, kick out five a day, maybe more, if there would be no good reason.  Further, I couldn't afford the hobby and am extremely dubious there is a real regular reliable market demand for these things.

I have explored audio book at Amazon.  They do have the Tolkien series.  I didn't bite, as I am not sure how to get the audio books to my smart phone or other system.  The price seems reasonable, though I wonder if they have an upgrade, or might allow two enrollments?  I'll check.  I might burn through books rather quickly, even doing one or two projects, or the time equivalent, most days.

I would like to get to solid ability, then produce a few items for family and friends, then make more complicated products.  Mitten-gloves, caps and hats, shawls and scarves, throws and blankets, and those with color blocks and patterns.  Just... a hobby.  I am improving, if I am still on the simplest stitches and patterns.  All good.

Time to shave, finish suiting up, and doing a few other things.  Good day.

Good, actually, morning. In the morning.

.
.
Nothing fancy.  No pain, slept well, got enough sleep, woke easy.  Fasting blood sugar is 162, not bad but up from yesterday's at 147.  My other two blood sugar tests were 121 around lunchtime and 128 a bit before bedtime.  I can hope to keep it low again.  There actually isn't a reason for it to have increased.  I hadn't eaten for hours before that or after to now.

It took all day, off and on, to finally finish the trim so the washcloth lies flat.  I kept adding curl!  I think the trick was using slightly less tension and making absolutely certain to hit every stitch, as well as doing extra in the corners, sometimes more than suggested.  I had to do many teardowns.  I refused to develop a flaw right at the end.  I... hope I have learned.  Odd thing is, the oblong (is it?) one?  I had no difficulty with it's border.

It isn't perfect, or appear so, but it is rather mildly and scarcely marred.  It is rather square, it is much improved, it was excellent practice.  Another start, to kick of my morning.  It is times like these when I hearken back to the golden days of radio, when talkies were the deal.  Hmm, they do have speaky books.  I wonder if they have Tolkien, perhaps the church doctors, on audio?  That... would do well.  I'll begin research.

Later.

An observer, several, many?

.
.
Someone(s) has been... examining.  To my oldest posts.  Seem to have some idea of where to poke, if the pattern doesn't seem... singular.  Various topics, or random reviews, are occurring.  Do they see, as I present, through the eyes of a darkness redeemed, but not blind to or done with darkness?

A good start.

.
.
Sleep was good, no pain today, I think cold weather and less sun has registered, and recovery from summer exertion has been fulfilled.  Now to get to some things.  Oh, fasting blood sugar was 147.  Yeah, it's a good thing.  Tea is steeping for a fatted ketonic, but first some cold tea.

YT, last night, became inaccessible.  It is back this morning.  They want me to switch to something I won't enjoin.  It includes tv stations.  I didn't cut cables as a purely economic issue.  It was content, intense leftist propaganda, politically correct actors and ideals, as well as advertising with all those evil traits and more.  If you wish to push white genocide, any genocide really, don't expect me to buy it.

With some help.

.
.
Garden hoses were thawed, as were fittings.  So they were drained, rolled, and stowed.  Placed on boards, centered on rafters in the back of the garage.  It is nearly 18:00.  I'll close the coop, checking food first.  I hate to have hungry animals.  Fasting is more of a human or wild thing.  Odd that.  What takes humans, et. al., willpower is a natural part of wild animal life.  Sharpness is found from it, and health and vigor... until it becomes lethal.  No different from excess, just faster.

Blood sugar started out wicked high, at 214 fasting.  It dropped to 181, post fatted tea which I count as a meal. It is more reasonable now, at 144.  Whatever.  It is again trending lower, but jumping for no good reason.  The premeal average is in the 150's, after meal is fifteen points higher, average.  It's the loopy fasting blood sugar which is driving the overall average to above the after meal average!  Foul!

It was cold this morning.  I thought it was still cold.  Not so much.  It felt almost into the high fifties?  I brought my thermometer in the other day.  It was rattling so terribly from wind I thought it would break.  Two wood screws and a drill.  Yeah.  Soon.  And another one for out back, the other back... maybe on the coop.  Plus a rain gauge.  Yeah.

Good night.

A good start back to daytime.

.
.
At 15:30, and counting, I have done well.  I can't do much work, if no better or worse than usual of late.  I did call and get to speak with both my mother and brother.  A very good thing.  I'll have to call more often.  It's late, in life.  Though, beside my recent pronouncement that the future is in the past, my previous observation that there is always tomorrow... until there is only tomorrow adds to it.  You do the math.

I actually have nearly completed another washcloth.  It is so close to square.  It is flat. I am struggling with the hem stitching.  Keeps curling.  I think I am too tired to do the work correctly, so I have set it aside for now.  I made two runs at the final part, only to have to strip it all out.  I won't put in a flaw that isn't necessary, if I can't do otherwise at the moment.

There are still flaws.  Fewer, smaller.  Still, this isn't an art potential exhibit, a fair product, or even a farmer's market fare... perhaps a flea market item.  :p  It is a surprising amount of improvement from the last, vastly superior to the first.  A dozen more and... we'll see.  I am improving, if there... I'm not sure how I could do worse than that first.

I had hoped to do housework.  Not going to happen.  I will close the ducks in, and feed them, before bedtime.  Might check the hoses and fittings, bringing in some of it.  Hungry, but out of pretty much... oh, but eggs.  If I can find a pan.  Gah!  Maybe just hardboil... or better soft, just enough for a meal?  Maybe.  Later.  Good night, in case I crash.

Better, faster.

.
.
Finished with a second washcloth.  This one does lie flat.  It isn't square though.  It looks like a pyramid, if much closer to a square.  It beats the first by a country mile.  I did three tear outs, of various sizes.  I just can't seem to get it square.  Yet.  Oh, and these take a lot less thread than anticipated.  Mine is probably eight to ten by ten to twelve inches, but used far less than indicated.

Never could nap.  Now I have a headache.  Just as when gaming, getting into a new game, I end up sitting in one position for too long.  Maybe a nap soon.  Staying up to call and wish my brother a happy birthday.  I may, will, call my mom, to remind her.  He may not take my call.  I will leave a message if not.

Later, or... probably good night.

Wrong again.

.
.
The washcloth is about half finished and rather rectangular, well on the way to being square.  Or, mostly.  I was much more careful with stitches, the pattern, and tension.  I did tear down part way, twice.  Almost did it again, until I tried something else.  I gently stretched the project.  It squared without undo force.

Further, I caught myself making stitching errors.  A lost step, or added... I am sure I missed some mistakes.  As well, I couldn't always tell where the next stitch was supposed to go.  It will simply take time.  I am improving, slowly.  It will take time.  I am finding improvement increases more through crafting, finishing, a flawed project than by ripping down and trying to improve.  Not sure why, but completion is more important... if resisting the desire to tear down in the hope of perfection is a gnawing haunt.

Nap time.  Later.

I am almost sure.

.
.
I just can't guarantee, but I think this fall has been colder sooner than usual.  It seems to have geared down at a gradual pace, so as to hide it's depth.  But it is already freezing out there much of the time.  All the hoses outside had frozen water.  None are likely ruined, as they were mostly drained... just small amounts of residual water.

I removed attachments and put all on the sunny south side to let everything thaw.  I had to refresh the water trough.  Luckily I had a hose in the basement.  I'll check the hoses tomorrow, get them coiled and in.  I think the hydrant is suitable for cold weather, though, maybe, a wrap for the exposed pipe might be good.  Watering in freezing weather was always going to be the trickiest part of ducks.

Thankfully, I think my feathered friends keep, so far, the water from freezing.  Won't work in the harder weather, I'll need more containers.  Pull what is frozen in, just replace... fill another.  Beside just needing water, water is also necessary for them to eat.  And they need to clean their bills.  Oh, it is time to add wood chips and leaves to the floor.

I went ahead with an attempt at a dishcloth.  Many tearouts, before finally getting something going.  I finally got close enough, so I finished it off.  Far from square, if it will do.  More practice.  I learned a bit of a trick.  Eyeballing stitches, then adding or removing stitches in the next row in order to control.   I've heard counting stitches is a way.  But that is difficult and would really slow things.  Perhaps, while learning, I may have to count.  To be honest, I don't think the pattern, as given, works.  Though maybe it is my inexperience.  Time might tell.

I am going to try another one today.  I may try exact counting, and definitely go over her pattern again.  Maybe women just talk in a way that doesn't always make a correct transaction through man ears or brain... or necessarily each other's?  It is something that isn't gaming.  The place settings, hats, and gloves and mittens are no longer short term goals.  Maybe by next year, if I can keep at it.  I have to wonder how many start and end up dropping the craft.  It certainly isn't a quick skill to obtain.  I really thought I'd... be better faster.

Later.

Yeah, okay.

.
.
Ah.  The example I tried to follow, as the simplest example, must have been a spoof.  I kept looking.  I didn't want complicated patterns, weird stitches, or a mix.  I finally think I found an actual pattern, with the correct and simplest stitch.  Not tonight.  Too tired.  Probably.  If I can, I'll work on the blanket.  The smaller yarn and needle takes a lot more concentration, too much for now.

Wrong, incorrect, in err.

.
.
Sometimes this is a good thing.  Crocheting.  Two errors.  The first regards dishcloths.  I can't use the same pattern, scaled down.  The material just doesn't work correctly.  I am trying simple single stitches but that gets too tight.  Perhaps looser or/and skipping stitches?  I'll work on it.  As for the blanket?  I have learned a great deal.  I have about a third of the first skein stitched, and it is looking quite right.

I reviewed the video.  Which helped, though too as I run the stitches I stop to check my work.  If needed stitches are pulled, several times so far, if usually not far.  The edges are being kept even, but by eyeing the project and using whichever of several row stopping methods which allow alignment rather than just following instructions.  That allows me to correct for tension problems.  Not bad.

I can work longer, without cramping, though the smaller hook, well... not so much.  I'll get better at that too.  Surprised how well and fast improvements are occurring.

It looks like butchering chickens this or next weekend.  I am looking forward to training.  This will let me know if I will try to raise meat birds next year.  I'll help this couple any time they want help.  I am pretty sure about the meat birds.  All the practice I can get would be for the better.  Social time is a rare plus too.

Later.

I like riddles.

.
.
Not all riddles are lyrical, or apparently complex.  Seen through the eyes of flesh, they might even seem silly.  First, the answer: Yesterday.

Technically finished.

.
.
With the baby blanket, that is.  I... don't think I'll attempt to give it away.  The question is, should I keep it... evidence, or undo and try again?  Any of you have an opinion?  It is my first project.  Not a dishcloth or any other item has been crafted before.  I'll be considering it's fate over the next week, as I try again.  I have to admit, I am not sure I improved from start to stop.  Oh, a bit.  I just don't know.  I'll watch the vid again, too.

I did learn a different way to use the skein.  By finding the end inside, there was no need to spin the yarn off.  I have learned several tricks.  The main thing is tension.  When not done correctly, bad tension will make counting difficult, stitching correctly by pattern difficult, and makes turning around not work well.

I may try two projects at once this week.  Another blanket, and smaller sized dishcloths with a scaled down pattern, yarn, and hook.  I don't expect learning to be fast.  And yet the only way to get better is right through the cold lunch of abject failure.  Something I am noticing, when viewing more complex patterns, is that they make sense.  I couldn't replicate, but I understand... the idea.  I can even, in my mind, begin to plot patterns.  Sometimes what I devise is more or less complex.  Some of what I imagine would be useless, save as mathematically derived art forms... conches, coils, and such.  And I realize Amazon is definitely not where to buy yarn.  Jo Ann's, Walmart, Michael's, Hobby Lobby, perhaps others.  Amazon's is way out there on prices.  Weird, but it did get me started.

A darker day.  A good one, perhaps.  Later.

So dark.

.
.
When it goes dark, it isn't only less light and heat by time, but also by the weakening of what little sun there remains, and that it is nearly as likely to be overcast as well.  This year the struggle to hold on is hampered.  A bit too much of a push earlier in the summer, if I was happy to do it.  Will do similar next year, if at all possible.

Fasting blood sugar is finally coming down again.  Yesterday it was 180ish, today 157.  The thing about today is the fasting test is lower than the bedtime test, if only by almost a handful of points.  That signals the beginning of something good.  It offers no promise of future performance, but offers a signalling snapshot of a good moment.  Collect a dozen of those snapshots and... then I have gotten somewhere.  From then on, it's a matter of maintaining balance and focus.  The right, or no, food, at the right times.  Activity as possible.

I've decided to go with more milk, which I am mostly converting to kefir.  I want more, to maintain kefir volume, plus have some actual milk to drink and with which to cook.  If only through the generous help of others, I am enjoying a much better food situation.  Milk is food much more than drink.

I finished the first skein of yarn on my project.  I tied another in and kept going.  I think two skeins will do.  These are 10.5 ounce, 220 yard jobbies, and this is only a baby blanket, if probably a rather large one.  If wanted, could be used by the child until the end of grade school unless she is a giantess.  I have to take long breaks, for hand cramping, but am improving.  It's... far from perfect.  But it will hold together.  The ends, sides, aren't even... some stitches are treble or single rather than double.  But it will easily do.  It has flaws, as the one who made it.  Perhaps forgiven, in love, for what is offered despite the problems.  Perhaps, in time, loved even in part for the flaws.

Oh, and I am still working on the game.  I probably had it, just could have started with a specific save and done things slightly differently from then on.  Unfortunately that save is gone.  This time, for sure.

A few things sorted.

.
.
Visitors.  Helped with raking.  Actually, they raked.  Only two rakes.  I trimmed shoots from around the trees, picked up larger sticks, and did odd jobs.  We collected the fresh leaves, for the ducks.  Branches have been put, mostly, into a main pile.  After being so chill for the last many days, today couldn't have been nicer.  The sun was generous and smiling like a fool with no ill devisement, there was a gentle friendly breeze, and it was still just cool enough that a bit of work was more a pleasantry than effort.  A rare day to be savored in thought on through time as winter consumes all other vestiges of the day.

Then a call to AAA.  I don't know where their call center is, if I'm thinking Gainsville women's prison?  Eventually sorted it out, to get a tech sent.  After a goodly lot of fussing, the battery was tested.  Dead, but charging was still good.  All good.  I got the last battery they had in stock.  At $150, almost, I was happy.  Other than tires, and after seven years, no gripe.  I will never kick a beast which goes down after good service.

I got a shower in before, am crocheting right along, though finishing gaming when my hands cramp.  I am sure hand endurance will increase.  I continue to find mistakes.  And, yet, the project has a unique charm only it will ever posses, for no other blanket will exhibit those flaws in exactly those ways.  As a baby blanket it will serve well.  At this pace it coul well take three to five more days to complete... in sum, in case I don't work on it in consecutive days.  I think I have the double stitch down though.  It's more perfecting ends work, patterning, and tension.

The V.A. glasses are in.  Damn fine job.  It'll take a bit to adjust to them.  All knew glasses are that way.  Bifocals are that way, in spades.  I can now, when I have the money, order several pair.  Another bifocal and two plain, for now.  The last set was off to, which actually hurt my vision.  I am hoping right scripts willl... help.

Eh?

.
.
Not quite finished with the game.  Even so, at a point were something else can go forward, namely crocheting.  With the really big hooks and yarn, in the right colors, I can, have, begun.  Baby blankets, to start.  I had thought about hats, table placemats, dishcloths, and such.  But for the yarn and hook sizes, after experimentation, I needed/wanted to learn using, those projects weren't good fits.  I think practical.  Who wants hats or place settings with huge gaps.  The blanket works as it's mostly indoor, and can be wrapped.

I have no need for such, but I know a few folk with very small ones.  Helping them is helping me and my country.  I'll do a couple of those.  Then a bigger blanket.  Then, perhaps, try washcloths.  The thread was difficult, cotton poly, and I heard full cotton.  Plus, the yarn/thread is much smaller.  With the washcloths, I'll practice different stitches and patterns, to get a feel for results and the simple experience.  After those, then on to hats, maybe gloves or mittens.

Blood sugar is weird.

.
.
My averages are: total is 165; before meal is 162; and after meal is 159.  The problem with the before meal average is I started including fasting tests.  I don't think that should go there.  It is too different, it's own category.  Actually, let me remove those and see... yes, before meal changes to 150 average.  Good enough averages while just starting back into things.  Still, my fasting blood sugars are so very high, though drop into the 140 range, plus or minus 20, but only after eating or drinking a ketonic.  As for keto, the strips indicate I am at 40, or moderate.  I do need more fat and less protein.  Proteins are my real sweet tooth craving (well, and donuts).

I'm working on things.  I believe I am going to attempt a single meal a day, with an earlier and later ketonic, if keeping all consumption within eight hours, for now.  Only tea before and after.  Knowing my blood sugar won't drop without food/fats, I'll begin consumption early... well, according to me whacked schedule.  If I have my first fatted ketonic tea now, a real meal in several hours, want or not, the last ketonic should be started by 6:00.

Since protein seems to be a necessary evil at this point, I really have to add fat.  A butter and cream sauce, in which to warm the protein, might be the trick.  Then, perhaps, slicing the meat, as a pasta replacement.  Just thinking out loud.  Less protein?  Yeah.  Sadly.  Although more fat is always a happy thing.  I am in keto, this should work.  I fear potassium deficiency, and water gain.  I seem to have enough water pill, and can probably afford at least the potassium.  If I can figure a way to town.  Ugh!

Cool out there.

.
.
Right for the season, mostly.  A little cooler and a lot wetter than usual?  Maybe a tadge.  But, then, in truth, what really is usual, typical, normal?  I am beginning to believe that typical, if it actually happened, would be extremely rare.  And that for a season.  For a whole year?  Preposterous!  So a bit to the cool and rainy sides is, well, quite... normal?  Aye.  To be expected.  Enjoyed if possible.

Ducks have been closed and fed.  Watered and fed earlier, but they cleaned their  plates well enough for a dinner.  They look and sound well.

I did make it to the post.  Beside a few packages and letters, a rug.  At least it wasn't huge, if still a bit to handle.  More the length than weight, as to me it was rather light.  Got it all home easily enough.  Part of the problem is that I am out of meds, can't afford more, not this month, especially not knowing if the battery is gone or... if there is more to it.  Though just the battery replacement would keep me shy.

I'm not feeling the best off medication.  Nor doing the best.  Ugh.  Blood sugar went to 220's, fasting test.  Being able to fast again, next time I'll fast for three days, and do that weekly.  I did end having two more chicken legs, an half cup of corn, and a large glass of kefir, but no fatted tea.  Ah well, will keep at it.

If I don't finish the game today, by Friday almost certainly.  Then to crocheting.  I will have everything I need by then.  I should have enough bulky yarn for a blanket or two, then can start with less bulky, and then thinner stuff, upping complexity as I go.  I am hoping to kick out at least three hats this year, perhaps matching gloves or mittens for two of those.  It's... a goal.  No idea, though, how long this stuff takes to make?

As to chain mail?  Not until I can sort how to easily weld the pieces.  Which also means I have to be able to afford the kit.  I... don't quite have the resources available for that, currently.  Time, perhaps.

Later.

Finished fasting.

.
.
Enough was enough.  I hadn't hit a wall this time.  It's more that my diabetes was managed more quickly.  My blood sugar peaked two hour ago, at 169.  It has since dropped to 147.  It was a bit higher earlier though, into the 140's.  So a twenty to thirty point jump on a meal isn't a problem as I measure things.  And, to be honest, for the last few months, a read of 169 would have been superior.

I wonder if my body hates fasting so much that it kicks over to keto more swiftly in order to cease fasting?  It, I was amazed how quickly and deeply it fell.  That with consuming cream, between an half and a full cup of cream while fasting.  Food, the right food, in the right amounts, really is the only medicine most need... for some things.

What did I break the fast with?  Iowa sweet corn and chicken legs.  Six legs, which really isn't much, and probably two and more cups of corn.  Oh, and a now rare glass of milk.  I turn most of it to kefir now.  Cuts the carbs, adds probiotics.  Plus carbonation.  Love me some carbonated milk!  I think I'll have a glass of that, then tea and cream to get fats in.   Too stuffed for more chicken.

Raining, and bitterly dark.

.
.
A smell woke me.  Fire.  Not close, too close, or intense, too intense.  It must be a fireplace, or wood stove, heater... perhaps several.  A comforting scent.

I woke without undo pain this day.  But pushed into gear.  Ducks.  I am not worried about when, regarding food.  Feed is based on need, but generally twice a day, once in a pinch, none once a month.  I merely want them to have plenty of water, which isn't a time thing.  But I do want them fully closed in when it grows dark.  I know what lurks in the darkness.  It is amazing how quickly it grows so dark.

Sleep was good.  Dreams, but I don't think much remains of them.  The taste of her lips, but not her name.  We must have been in our teens, if from memory... which... I only knew a dozen women, three of them were adult, four?  It narrows the choices but I really only recall her general slim shape and lips.  I miss... yeah.

Fasting blood sugar surprised me, 141.  It's a beautiful thing.  I'll have my cream tea right after this first cold tea... earlier by far than usual.  I am curious if that, even the idea of it, lowers blood sugar.  I suspect some of this is psychosomatic.  Not all of it, probably... not yet.

Raining, dark, but up to the high forties.  Crazy.  Yesterday it dipped to 32ish.  I half expected snow, by logic though not my other senses.  Rained yesterday too.  I watered before rain, yesterday, if a bit overlong, then feared a harder freeze.  Fall and spring can be so messy.  Still, good seasons.  Can potentially do more in the cool than the cold or hot, if navigating the waterworks becomes the trick.  Later.

No post office or town.

.
.
The battery finally quit grumbling and keeled over.  I have a charger... which, if I am not mistaken, is also dead.  I called my usual shop, they are thinking later in the week.  I'll see about a jump.  Failing that a tow.  Question is, do I want to seek a jump to see if it will even work before the day?  So tired.

Meant to be asleep by now.  Time just slipped away.  Then I got stuck messing with this.  I did check blood sugar one last time.  Back down, to 124.  After it went up, I... just had to see if it would continue to climb or drop.  I dreaded to know, but had to check.  If I could get, and keep, it between 80 and 120, I'd be golden.  I'd take 100 to 140.  Would?  Will have it.

I guess I'll sleep now.  Did get a shower in.  The fowl are breathing fresh air, fed and watered... if water needs to be filled or changed later.  I'll... do one or the other if I have to do it at midnight.  Good night.

Blood readings can be so strange.

.
.
The blood sugar did drop.  It was more a matter of time.  By the time I got around to tea and cream, but before consumption, it had dropped to 130.  A few hours after consuming tea with cream, it dropped to 122.  I just tested again, it is up to 130.  One more day of fasting and I should be good for a while.

About to open up for the ducks, and get a shower.  Then crash for a bit.  I have some things this afternoon.

I am almost finished with the game.  Then to crocheting.  The game has sort of eaten my life, if there wasn't much functional life to me to start.  And it has kept me awake, more aware.  I am hoping crocheting can... offer me similar.  I am coming at it from 180° opposite of why women do this.  They need something to take their minds off... everything.  I need something to... wake me, keep me in the present and local.  I need reals, they need escape.

Oh, going to make it to the post office this morning too.  I have items in.  Hope nothing has been returned.  Oh well.  Later.  Or, good night, actually, mostly.

Sleep was good.

.
.
Woke on a sour note.  It felt like a solid punch, solid enough to jar the liver.  Funky.  It was dulled by sleep, was a one time thing, and is sliding off the radar.  Aspirin may or may not be helping.  Other than that, life is peachy.  I am hoping to do a few things tonight.

Fasting blood sugar was 181, two hours later it was 177.  Go figure.  I do, sometimes, slightly cheat on my fast, heavy cream and tea or broth.  I had it yesterday.  Thought it might throw things off, but just the opposite.  I'll see about tonight.  A hundred point blood sugar drop, in eleven hours yesterday.  Crazy.

Never did sleep.

.
.
Couldn't.  Not really sleepy even now.

Crazy thing?  Fasting since waking from my nap.  Blood sugar was 200 at 10:00... right before my nap, then 222 at 19:40, a late fasting test.  It dropped to 145 at 4:31.  I didn't believe... trust... that number, so tested several hours later... 122.  Okay.  Still, will fast for another day or two.

Not much else.  May crash shortly.  Good day and night.

Good night.

.

.

Yeah.

Long naps.

.
.
Being cold and dark I'll take what control over sleep I may garner.  No easy way through.  I may have thirty to forty years left, but it'll be a slippery slide down a water shoot rather than a dignified organized exit strategy.  Then again, nothing different from the last thirty years.

The hutch were not opened up, but the fowl have been fed, and water refilled yesterday.  A change of their water pan, and cleaning of the one currently in us, tomorrow, and some work in their pen... plus putting the rest of the cage shelving together.  No more of that will go in the closet... time to rearrange the bedroom.

It's a good day.  Pain is unusually light for recent times.  I may actually take aspirin just to be, probably, fully pain free for a bit.  So close, and it has been so long... yeah, that would be pleasant.  Four to six hours, then back to the grind.  I don't truly need, but while I am here...  Fasting today, and for several days if possible.  No sugar replacement.  Just raw tea and air.

I watered the grass.  Just a bit.  I should do it earlier, but I was napping.  It is cold out there, but shouldn't freeze.  An half hour, every other day, unless it rains.  Restart the count after that.  More seed in the spring, as needed.  But I really have to keep up on watering in the summer.  Ugh.  Oh, I may try a hot tea ketonic.  I usually use coffee, trying something different.  Oh, that is, hot beverage of choice (I let it cool to warm-hot), add MTC oil, ketone crystals, and electrolyte powder, plus another ketone-friendly powder.  I really have to fix things... eating correctly is not working.  Fasting and keto are the only non-bigpharma ways.

Day days?

.
.
Finally.  Maybe.  If the pain can be endured I can usually switch back to days.  For how long is the question.  I can handle the pain any time, if it is the only current suffering.  Although I may not choose such even so.  If I just made it through a dark hard period, I may choose to rest before attempting to change my schedule.

I am hurting, tired, weak, and beset externally at the moment.  But I need days.  I didn't brute force the effort though.  I saw a potential back door, took it.  It took longer, and isn't always possible.  This time it worked.  The cool allowed me to sleep earlier, so as to engineer my new schedule through extra sleep.

I have decided, this year, to put the furnace at 68 F.  I'll just wear more clothes.  And, if necessary, sleep more.  It wasn't a money saving thing when formulated, though it seems to be working out as a feature due to Social Security spoofing again.  I'm working out what to wear to be just right.  The thing is, that changes for many reasons.  And, sometimes, just sitting makes it impossible to warm.  I'll get better at it, I'm sure.

I've been up since 3:45 or so.  It's about time for a nap.  It's dark out, which doesn't help.  Blood sugar was 161, fasting, this morning.  Not sure why it came down, but I'll take it.  Consuming kefir rather than milk?  Maybe.  I'm hoping for better yet.  Nothing but tea and it's up to 200.  I need to eat.  Difficult as I'm not digesting well, and don't have much on hand.  Hmm, perhaps I'm up to fasting?

As with changing sleep cycle, I have to be ready for extra suffering in order to fast.  The allowances are different though, more on what sorts of pain can be present.  I'll give fasting a shot.  Oh, some entertainment (?) for you.