Some weeks...

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Didn't get to the dishes.  Mostly.  I reset some, and I did clean off the area where they are going.  Plus I washed some towels for drying them, initially, and setting the dishes on to finish drying.  So... some, just not the bigger part... actually washing!  I got dry laundry in last night.  The rest is still out.  I checked them as I tended the ducks.  They... I think... are dry.  But they are cold, so I can't quite be sure.  I am leaving them out to warm in the morning sun.

With laundry pretty much done, I will do dishes today.  Dishes washed, set aside, a shower, dishes back for a rinse, then dried and put up.  I will.  I will!

Since I can't shower, and need it, for now I am using powder hair shampoo.  I should have used it yesterday.  Today, anyway, and it really does... improve the world.  Keeping it on hand for one of those, or several, stupid days... it really helps.  None of us are perfect, and the world seems to try to eat us alive, sometimes rather successfully.  I'll do what I can.

I don't add essential oils, I don't believe in them for anything but scent.  And even that is rather weak, pretty much the only one who can smell it is the applicant/user, and just for a very short time... mostly just when applying it.  It scatters quickly.  No one else notices, so...  As to health benefits?  Yea... I'm... not a believer.  I don't think most of what the doctor and your mother give you are real either.  I'm... just not a believer of much that is earthly.  Still, do as you will.  Oh, and as to organics, cacoa, and gmo?  Phooey.  Buy the cheap stuff, your health will not suffer.  Might even be healthier.  Don't be a fool snob.

Blood sugar is rather high, low 220s.  Yeah, well, at least I have remembered heart medicine.  I'll get back on it.  Bleh.  A bit of breakfast right off, and a fatted coffee should be cool enough to actually add fat... cream.  Don't want it curdled.  Well, and a dose of insulin while at it.  Mild dose.  Insulin, when fresh, can really crash my numbers, gotta be careful.  Anyway... I've only missed for a day, so... it's all good.  Later.

Laundry, anyway.

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 Two loads washed, one in. Both first loads are hanging on the clothesline. They are occupying one of the two available threads. I keep having to tighten the rope. Both were done today. I will be using the last one for heavy bath sheets and very light if many pillow cases. When that finishes. That will be it for laundry today. If I am hoping, by bedtime, that everything will be dry.

As well, I am hoping to get to the dishes, shower, and get the dishes back in for a rinse while cleaning the counter. It isn't bad, it just needs a bit of work. If I can get half of the dishes done today, I will be in excellent shape, along with laundry. If I can get them all done, I will do some sawing tomorrow, then take a break until Monday... other than food, the critters, showering daily, and getting trash and recycling ready. I don't think recycling is this week, will figure it out... be ready either way.

I could do some folding over the weekend, too. And a bit of stitching... that pj bottom which wasn't sewn well, a, or several, leather thimble creations or recreations... I think that would be it for sewing. Just a few small things... if I can finish the dishes, and put some time in on the branches. Won't do all the branches, but will get to some of it.

I did hurt my hand. The left one. In tightening the rope, I had to pull strongly. I didn't realize until a bit afterward, but the skin on about half of the back of that hand was burning from the little bit done. As if it was on fire. I noticed bruising was back. This is the third time bruises have appeared on the hand. Not sure how that is possible, but... they come and go for sure. It hasn't gone back to swelling, again again, or yet. The burning was both just as is, and more so when touched. Strange, but... I think I'll work my way out of a gimped hand. Nothing else. 

I had hoped to have these things done by noon, to be honest. Or, at least, most things, as much as possible, including dishes. I simply could not move. No pain, really. Aspirin helped. Not even too cold today, perhaps a bit warm? Or... I think that is all perception. The temperatures have been rather static for a while now. So... it's just me, my health... or lack of it. All good, I'll keep at it. Good afternoon, day, and possibly night. Or just, later...

Not bad.

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I hurt every time I woke last night.  And I woke enough to fill six liters of pee bottles.  Nah, I've got big ones, medical/hospital types.  When doing my best, I don't use them.  When not doing so well... I've filled as much as nine to ten liters before, in a single night.  Pretty much, that is the max before having to go down stairs.  Anyway, as mentioned, I hurt pretty badly every time I woke, whether to go or just roll over.  I was... a bit afraid of this day.

There are aches, minor pains, but they all went away almost immediately, at least the really bad ones.

I think I went to bed at 21:15 give or take five.  And I woke a bit after 07:15?  Thought I woke about ever two to three hours through the night, so sleep wasn't perfect.  It was good for what it was, though.  I feel, mostly, rested.  Could definitely be better, but with the givens, could definitely be worse.  A fistful of aspirin though, just to... start on a possible plus side.  That should relieve most of what is left.

Ducks were fed, watered, and released right away.  The girls got a treated, as I was going out.  I decided to feed them fully when I returned.  A snack, as fatted coffee is cooling enough to add the fat and consume.  I like it warm, even hot actually, just not blistering hot.  I'll spend an hour or so waking... two hours... three, maybe.  Bleh.

Back to it today.  A trim, dishes, a shower, laundry, if a break or two in there.  A shave, and... whatever else is possible after that.  Should be good.  I don't think I will hit the branches today, but tomorrow.  If I can do as much tomorrow as I did the other day, I will be down to, pretty much, the biggest remaining branch.  I can't cut that one with what I have.  Not absolutely sure about all of the remaining other branches the next size down.  But I can trim the smaller branches from those last ranges of thicknesses.

All good.  Hmm, I have chicken leftover, so can have a real meal, after a bit of work.  Three drumsticks is actually enough for a full meal these days.  Sometimes a bit more is nice, but it isn't always needed.  I'd sure like to get a phone back, and get the app set back up.  That really works well, if it can be difficult to maintain... especially with fast deep whether changes.  It isn't about perfection, it is about tracking, and working with what you know.  Doing your best, and getting there over time.  Later.

Almost nothing.

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The girls and the ducks have been tended well.  I did make a spot of beef and chicken.  The beef was only so-so, but the chicken was to die for.  Sometimes it comes out just right.  This was that and then some.  Plus I have two more meals worth.  Three drumsticks is usually enough, with a veggie and fatted coffee or tea.  Plus, the girls got the bones to strip.  They really love chicken.  And, often, pork.  Beef?  Not so much, oddly.  Cheese?  Depends on which cheese and which of the ladies, but yes... oddly.

The ducks... it took a while to let them out.  Nearly eleven? noon?  But out there got.  Fed well, water was good.  And I chat with them.  Sometimes they interact back, sometimes not so much.  I don't mind.  I think they know I like them.  They just aren't sure about trusting an ogre.  Fair enough.  Still, I do enjoy going out and see to them.

I keep hoping to get started on dishes.  So tired.  Odd how little work can trash me.  Though... I did a bit Monday.  And it is coming from doing nothing, for long stretches.  It's not just a laziness, it's from an exhaustion I can't seem to escape.  I pushed it helping with the tree, and got well and truly hurt doing it.  Should have broken, but that I didn't... I guess that's good.  But it did cost.

I'll... keep trying to kick the engine over, get going, and do what is needed.  I... will do what I can, as I can, when I can.  And, thank God for the opportunities to do, and when I can't, thank Him for the opportunities to pray and contemplate.  Be grateful, even, eventually, for death.  But, as long as you live, be grateful for life.  I am.  I just... I would like to do a bit more.  He knows, oh but He knows.  Later.

A bit rough.

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Small aches, pains, scratches on my shins... new ones, and the left hand is still in standby mode.  Sleep was very good.  Down at 21:30?  22:00?  22:30?  Somewhere in there.  Then I kept waking.  Couldn't get out of bed.  I kept thinking it was late, but the sun just wasn't showing because of clouds?  I... kept trying to get up!  Wake!  It just wasn't happening.

Finally, I was able to roll.  I figured looking out, seeing that the sun was up and it was late, would help my body get going.  Only... there was a problem.  The sun wasn't up.  there were no clouds.  It just wasn't dawn yet.  The clocks... finding that can be a trick when nothing is quite working yet and it isn't yelling at me...  Ah, there.  A quarter after seven?  Well, okay.

Chastity was in peril this morning.  It can strike any time, but it likes when I am in pain, tired, or especially both.  When will is weakened through else.  If you have ever been fishing, and had a fish grab and take your lure?  Right.  That is about what it was like.  The impulse is... strong.  But, no.  A few prayers and I just cut that line.  Just trying to remember the words was difficult, for a trifecta of reasons.  Remembered and... too tired to speak them, so I just thought them?  I can't remember, with certainty.

Awake, now, and feeling better.  Odd how I can hurt so much earlier, sometimes for an hour after waking, only to... at some point, sometimes, begin feeling better.  Even much better.  I'm, so far, only middling better.  But I'll take it.  Gladly.  I am hoping it will get even better, if I suspect this is it.  I may take aspirin today.  It's been a while anyway.

Dishes, then laundry in, a shower, and dishes back in.  Then to town.  Dishes and laundry set or hung to finish drying later.  I'm getting to it.  But, first, some time to wake, a fresh pot of tea, and a fatted coffee.  Yeah.  I think that is the plan, as well as I can do it.  Oh, ducks and girls fed and else.  Sam sits behind me, and wet swallows from licking her lips.  Yeah, they have lips.  It's meant to let me know she is hungry.  Annoying little... still, okay.  Got to admit, she doesn't mind annoying a giant.  She might be a skinny girl, of the itty bitty titty committee, but brass titties, that one!  I don't scare her one little... *run*  If I notice, spin about, and glare, she'll sit there.  If I begin to move, she'll split like pea soup.  If come back in three to five... like a fly.

Later.

Not much.

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I just couldn't get going.  Which... I knew might be the deal.  So?  So I enjoyed the day.  Doing small nothing things, mostly.  A meal, tending critters, oh, and a visit.

My mother called neighbors.  Something... about calling.  I think they explained my problem.  Suggested she seemed a bit steamed.  Something about... hearing things under the breath?  Oh... sounds like my mom, to be sure.  Hopefully something can be done about that tomorrow.  I can sure hope, but not promises.  I just... think so.

I received a few photos, of the tree on the roof, and the biggest remaining part of it, but I can't figure out quite yet how to transfer that from an email to a place where I can upload it for here.  I'll keep working on it.  The part that remains is something between half and a third of the length of the whole branch which fell on my house.  It's... impressive, with all considered.

Oh, I best get the ducks closed up.  They go in on their own.  All I do is a headcount, after closing them in.  Just... to make sure.  I can't keep them in, the muscovys anyway, but I like to make sure they have safety.  They stay in, as a general rule, if the lady muscovys are leaving, usually out by the time I get out there.  But they know, mostly, when it is safe.  And often sit perched higher up as well, anyway.

Oh, fasting blood sugar was 148 today!  I had to take glucose tabs yesterday too.  So very odd.

Good night.  Rather tired tonight, for as little as I did.  Yesterday was a bit of a sprint though, if it felt like sprints on the beach.  Ugh.  Took the lungs out of me.  I'll sleep well tonight, very shortly.  Good night for sure.

Someone is out there.

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I enjoy the thought of a scent, or sound, that might make me think a human doe is nosing around.  To obtain attention?  Attracted by some trick, trap, or just nature hereabouts?  Passing through, without an idea where she is?  Even an echo... echoes... from memory... her's or mine.  All I know is, I enjoy the moment, even if I can't quite tell who, or why.

Rather good.

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I will know healing is nearing completion when my left hand isn't swollen to discomfort as I wake.  But given the efforts put out yesterday, this morning is otherwise wonderful.  Oh, and ache here, a pain there, but mild enough, and in very limited points and places.  I am excited to get started today.  I will probably push a bit hard again today, and it could end the week, but I hope to be caught up.

First things... ducks and cats, fed, litter, out, whatever.  Next, dishes... I didn't wash the counter, but had to mostly clear it to put meats away.  So that will be easy.  Then washing, setting them out, showering, and setting them to a rinse... perhaps doing parts of them through the morning.  As well, laundry time.  I can imagine at least three loads are ready, one or two through today, and hopefully hung to dry this time.  I don't mind if it is cold or hot, as long as it isn't wet out there.

Food?  I should have something ready.  Oh... right...  I had planned to grill burgers.  I may be out of charcoal.  *scribbles on list*  That can be amended today.  I'd like to fry up burgers, essentially for the week.  Not fully, just a few minutes on each side, then stored in an airtight container.  Add them in with a can of corn, or as simple patties with a bit of mustard and mayo.  Hmm, need to pick up lettuce and some veggies today... I don't order those through online, like to look at what I am getting.  For this morning though?  Dunno.

Today?  Checking about a phone, checking about an inspection on the car, getting the car washed.  Hmm, a bit of final grocery shopping.  I can't remember else, will look at my recent posts, there might be other things on the list, or hints.  I am almost sure there was something else.  Maybe a couple of things else.  Just a bit of tinkering, then I'll get to it.  Ah... down at ~22:00, up at ~7:00.  Later.

When everything hurts...

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But you still feel good?  I put that in the win column.  Plus, the pains and aches are more earned than just of condition or poor health.  Some old, some new, some old refreshed from today's efforts.  Happy.  I'll take it.  Hoping to sleep well and do it again at least tomorrow, then maybe through the week as far as I can get.  Assuming I can do a thing tomorrow or the rest of the week.

Blogger has forced me onto the new blogger format.  If that doesn't end, I may just have to quit blogging.  I didn't accept the offer, so it's being foisted on me.  As such... yea.  If the return to the old doesn't happen quickly, I will stop posting.  I hate the format.  I can't tell well, what has been read recently.  It's just not conducive for me to stay more well informed about what is happening on my site... it is a claustrophobic means of looking at the day, now, week, etc.  It is a poorly constructed piece of work.  If they want to force something, force something that isn't totally objectionable.  Then again, if their intent is to end blogging, then... by all means... continue.

Blood sugar had been 181.  I didn't really check it, but ate several meals, without dosing.  I had a final meal, then took slow acting at the usual time, plus a medium dose.  Blood sugar was 80 a moment ago, but seems to be falling.  I can feel it, like the world opened up under my feet.  Glucose tabs... it's the only way.  Ugh...  I have been so careful!  Blah!

Good night.

Brutal, but successful!

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I was running late.  Getting started was an absolute bear.  A shower, then dishes in for... actually a resoaping, for a final final wash.  Then to get the battery in.  Not bad... if I'm not absolutely sure it is perfect.  It is as good as I could get it.  And, then, to try to start it?  Oh, I hate tests.  No, not tests.  Tests are fine, even if I sweat them.  It's the return of the test, right before, that I hate.

And?  Nothing.  Nothing?  Nothing!  I... turned it again.  And again.  I was about to get out and have a looksee under the hood, when I remembered.  Stick shift... clutch.  Check!  Vrrrooom!  Oh, so nice.  I swear, I give myself a start just to see if I'm still alive sometimes.  My subconscious wants to make sure my responses are still good... I... really... hate tests... actually... too.

On to town.  Hoping not to see anyone who might see me as a ticket quota.  Drove directly to the place for registration, went on in.  It seems I drove the wrong vehicle!  It's even on evens, odd on odds.  I... am sure I knew that, but for some reason... choking lately... I mixed it up.  Still, all good.  They gave me a temporary.  I have a bit to get it inspected...

Then, with that taken care of, on to the grocery store.  Everything was ready.  I did go in, which was fine.  All of it is back, and put away.  So tired though.  I couldn't have done another thing in town.  Tomorrow, with the car running and registered, roughly, I will get in, register the suv... check about a phone... make an appointment with the auto shop... wash the car perhaps...  Actually, I will hold off registering the suv until I get the inspection on the car, so I can do it all at once.

Ugh, so brutal.  I had to push to do anything, so doing all I did was amazing!  I... do love to suffer, for a good cause.  I am so toasted, tired, shot.  Still, I'll try to get to dishes a bit later.  Outside and in, currently, it is about 72... except this front room, which is more like 75.  Yeah, I have to get to the dishes, so I can shower again tomorrow.  I have been working on my body, teeth, and else, so as not to be a fright.  That... frightens me.  I... wouldn't know, I suspect.

I had hoped to do a bit of cutting.  That just can't happen.  I will have to push to do dishes, which might not even happen until tomorrow.  Something to eat, though.  Cold tea.  Medicine.  Blood sugar was 181 this morning, fasting, so... all good... considering I thought it would still be outrageous from recent events.  I'll... work on it.  Meat is thawed, or thawing.  I'm ready to eat right again.  Later.

Gaming.

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Gaming, on any platform, is becoming difficult.  They keep putting out sjw games.  They try to put them out without us knowing.  It worked on several games, which I ended tossing.  So bad I wouldn't even give them away.  And, what started as an occasional bad product is turning into most of the products offered.

I had several games set to be purchased when they were released.  I found out how to undo that, get them off the list, and am very glad for it.  Every game of interest in the last few years has been, at the least, questionable.  Some, out and out, were without a doubt politically as troubling as the NFL, most politics, the church hierarchies, even corporate America... if there is much of such a thing at this point.

It started a while ago, and has progressively been getting worse.  Mass Effect: Andromeda if all could be called into question, Wolfenstein 2 for sure, even Red Dead Redemption 2 in my book.  But then it began to unravel completely.  Now, finding a game that isn't broken is not easy.  I wait, for months, even years.  But even that isn't quite cutting it.  Finding a list of sjw titles isn't always available.

I am beginning to wonder if lawsuits bring down such lists.  And the developers hide their work.  Even quite some time after it is released.  I have fallen for a few of those games, but only on deep discounts.  Should have been a warning, but... sometimes even good games have gone on sale.  At this point, I am seeking older games.  Where and how I can find them.  I had been excited for the Last of Us II, if the first one was... trending possibly questionable already... it... just was.  I had hoped they would hold the tards back, keep them out of the guts... but... no.

A few games I am definitely not ever going to play include Vampire: The Masquerade II, The Last of Us II, even quite suspicious of Cyberpunk 2077.  I really think they sold players out.  Is Soros and et al buying these people?  Do they realize there is no way back?  Perhaps that is the point.  Destroying gaming may be seen as a social good.  Or dumbing it down enough so a dindu can play, or girl/woman... and would want to... is supposed to improve sales.  Females are far too fickle, and dindus don't buy anything someone can hack for them.  The Chinese and Indians can't afford such.  Perhaps they are hoping for mass volume.  I don't think it's there.  At my age, I'm not sure I care.  I can walk away without a scratch.

Toes hurt from cold?

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Weird.  A shower should help.  Probably.  Last I checked, perhaps an hour, half hour, ago, it was up to 52.  Still pretty chilly.  It should be warmer by now.  I still need a bite to eat, then a shower.  It's not that time, but time is ticking off like it's going somewhere.  I better get a move on.  Cool, hungry, needing a shower, with dishes to do and a battery to arrange.  Bleh.

I am feeling better.  Just sluggish.  No real trouble, I think I'll be able to muscle through it.  A few things to do today.  Many things to do yet this week.  I'll keep at it.  Hopefully, tomorrow, back to cutting branches.  I did a good job of it.  Getting the rest will be a bit of work, but doable... until I get to the main trunk of the branch.  I'd guess that is three to four feet in diameter.  I'm not even sure the big saw will do that?  I'm pretty sure that won't be axe-split, either?  Though, with a sledge hammer and spikes, maybe?

I'd best feed the girls again.  They are sure hungry lately.  I ordered treats for them.  I had run out, and won't go to walmart anymore.  But amazon had not had them available at reasonable prices until recently.  So... an extra can of food a day, between them.  Though I am going to have to be... sparing... in treats.  Sassy begs herself fat, Sam begs to vomiting.  She absolutely loves to eat enough to vomit.  Bleh!  But, a few, every few times they beg, plus else... should do swell.  Later.

That ol' late fall sun.

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I kept wanting to let the ducks out.  I just won't until dawn hasn't just peeked, but is full on.  In the winter I may not even let the ducks out on really cloudy days... just feed and water them right in their coop, watering twice.  Though some may have a way out?  No, I can close those, mostly, I think.  Predators.  I smelled a skunk the other day, it smelled like... within a block... it had perfumed a curious dog or car.  I know there are raccoons.  And I have personally been in the presence of a mountain lion.  Though, if a mountain lion really wanted in, not sure much could keep it out.

It wasn't until after eight before it really showed.  Or, that I noticed and was satisfied.  A quarter after?  Or so.  I thought I had checked every quarter hour or so, but... who really knows.  Finally, when out, I got out.  Changed their water.  Truth is?  I don't think the muddy water is at all poop, as I had thought.  It is about all from their bills, from rooting for shoots, roots, and whatever else.  Anyway, I change it all clean every few days, filling as needed between.  If their pool is about to go up.  I can't maintain it through freezing.

I found a rat.  Too big to be a mouse.  Huge, for around here... probably 9" to 12" long... not including the tail.  Quite dead.  It had been beaten to death.  Too big for them to eat, so they just killed it.  Not in the hutch, out between food and water.  I cover the food now, so it can't really get in.  Jealous of their food, the birds.  As were the others, sometimes.  I think they just plain eat mice, smaller critters.  I wonder if they would eat voles and moles?  That rat died a pretty harsh death though.  Bruised to bloody all over it's crushed body.  Good!  I love my ducks even more now.

I checked the battery again, just... because.  Still topped up and out.  That doesn't mean it will stay that way, when hooked to a load.  But... I have some hope.  It is a bit cold to be out there working, quite yet.  It was 38 just now.  38?  Already?  Well, okay.  I must be acclimating to the slow... if steeper than usual... reduction in temps.  I am able to keep the house at 66, mostly.  Some days I have had to turn it up to get going, or just shake that death-cold that gets into the bones.  But... I am handling the cold better.  Winter may be different, when every crook and cranny is filled with cold and/or drafts, looking to snatch the very breath of life from me.  But for now, at least, all good.

A shower shortly, then setting the last dishes up.  I need to do a bit more with the surface they will be final drying on, as I've used it for meal prep.  Very minor work.  The dishes are the big job.  After that, and a bit, if it could get to mid 40s, I'd happily get the battery back in.  Either way, by noon at the latest?  I can hope.

Oh, it wasn't dying for sitting, it was that the trunk would pop, if keys were bumped, which would turn on a light or two, and... I am beginning to hate remotes.  Hmm... I wonder... is there a way to get the remote to not function?  Could pull the battery, but there might be some sort of lockout?  I ought to check.

I'll probably have a breakfast in a bit.  A slice of the pork roast.  Veggies of some kind would be good, with a pat of butter.  I have burger out.  Patties.  But they can be broken up and used as any other burger, in whatever.  I probably should begin thawing more meat too.  Chicken?  Yes, haven't had that in a bit.  Something else though too.  It will be a few days before that is ready, right as I need it.

What a wonderful day and last night.  A gift from God for an old dog, long in the tooth but still at least as willing as able.  Mostly entertaining, I suppose, to watch sleep... dreaming of the days of chasing rabbits and... not rabbits.  A wonderful, if often wrong, life.  Long considering.  Full as I could make it.  Finally given over to a better purpose.  Even pain is a gift, now.  Good morning and day.

Chastity? And, up and at it.

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No... connections... in the title... mostly.

I can't be sure when I went... wait!  It was just after 23:00, 11:00 pm to some of you.  I couldn't work, much, couldn't shower, couldn't cook, couldn't eat.  I got a bit done, but had to drag the day clean around to get very little completed.  Still, it was important, what was done.  Then I couldn't get to sleep!  The day just wouldn't let me go for my... good deeds?

I slept well.  Odd thing, from the title?  As I am wounded, healing, damaged, ill?  It is then when chastity is most difficult.  My resolve is weak.  My mind drifts.  Oh, I have been doing well.  It's just... I am noting when I am weakest physically, I am still strong enough to be weakest in that way.  How can that even be?  You'd think, with pain seething around me like pools of hate blood pouring out of me and attacking me, when my flesh is physically weakened, when my mind is confused, that women would be the last things on my mind?  You would think that God would give me a break, while I'm down?  Nope.  That's when it's unnervingly intense.  Challenges.

Hail Mary's, Our Fathers, and I need to add a few more.  If I could just wake up and get just a bit ahead... ever again!  Horrors.  I had, at one time, gone through and memorized about a dozen to score of Catholic basic prayers.  Longer and shorter...  Then had to learn a few more for the rosary, if some never quite got fully memorized.  I need to go back and... get those back under.  The creed, and other longer (or shorter) form, to St. Michael, a few traditional standard and special issue prayers... and actually the meal prayer?  I have a good one, I use over every meal, and now snack.  But I think there was a traditional Catholic one.  Why learn a traditional prayer?  To be a part.

I really don't play nice with others.  But... separating playing nice and becoming a part of a holy union?  I don't have to play nice to know, and want, my place.  Well, in the short run.  I think it is required in the long run.  (musings of a great and terribly sinner, like... everyone else I guess, but coming to the faith later in life, and weaker in all ways)  It has taken God a lot of work to get me to even this point.  It's not His fault, or weakness, it is His... patience, and the rough material He is working with.  No complaints, on either side.  Like a special needs of the spiritual sort child, I just... take some work.  But I know it, and allow it as possible.  Like Xavier and Logan, or Jean... and... especially after, if truth were told and written, the singularity.  Keep what you kill.  *wink*

Pain is light to breezy, with a slight possibility of chill or fever, the shakes, and exhaustion.  So far, though, so good.  AND???  The battery, according to the device, is not only repaired, but fully charged!  Yeah!  Seriously.  That thing has saved to batteries to point.  And charged one.  It has proved worth it's cost if it breaks tomorrow.  That just in battery replacement cost!  Considering pulling it, driving it in, possibly buying new because... they say so... and all the song and dance and drama of dealing with service, sales, and travel?  Oh, double or triple in cost and aggravation.  A very good buy.  Uhrm, assuming it... holds the charge, and is as it reads.

I will, when the sun comes up, after letting the quackles out, put the battery back in and give it a start... see what happens.  Rough, but... it... I am doing what I can.  Oh, I woke right at 5:00.  Struggled with chastity this morning.  Lots of prayer, much internal resistance, worth the effort.  It's sort of fun, once you get the hang of it, if you can succeed.  It's like playing a complicated bit on the piano, or memorizing a speech, or... being right when your inclinations are otherwise disposed.  Amen.  Later.

Oh, just some last thoughts.

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A few oddities popped.  Curious?  Maybe.  Cautionary first.

A part of it.

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I reviewed how to remove a battery, from my particular car.  It was a lot more involved than a standard battery.  I watched a video, twice.  I found myself out there, hoping I wouldn't forget anything.  Well, and hoping everything was stock.  I... didn't remember everything?  But, yea.  And, everything was stock.  So the battery is out and charging... repairing actually.  Will know more tomorrow.

I did get the trash out, by 10:30 I think.  Still too late.  It happens.  Next week.  I have been trying to get going all day.  I just couldn't... stand, think right, move, act.  Stuck.  The girls have been fed, and tended elsewise.  The ducks have been fed, watered, released, and closed back in.  I have eaten, the pork roast was cooked, a portion consumed, and then cooled and stored rightly.  I would like to have eaten more, but it just isn't happening.  Not just not able to cook, really, or just, but not... I couldn't eat.  There is no there there to consume, or digest, food.  Hollow, even if hungry.  Shoeleather would be good to at least gnaw?  A dog leather bone...

I am saving up the last of my energy for a run at a shower, maybe a shave.  After that, if that happens, I will air dry my hair just long enough, then go on to bed.  I have been blogging, but... things... click there.  Some strange notions have filtered through, and are continuing.  Some wish me to be miserable, others seem glad I won't let it get me.  Human or other, I have a good idea which groups are on my side.  Or... at least... on the right side.  I am not sure if anyone is on my side.  Which, too, is okay.  That was the first pain I learned to bear.  The rest have been relatively easy.

I did email my store.  Let them know I couldn't pick things up today.  Okay, they said.  Not that either of us had much of a choice on the matter.  No reply from my hoped contact, for help getting to town.  Never worry, people.  Even if you die because no one can help you, don't worry.  There are... truly... worse things.  Perhaps it is my time for... some admittedly deserved... punishment.  Pile it on.  I'd rather take it here than there.  *wink*  Later, or more likely, good night.

Plans made.

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Plans delayed.  Still, feeling much better.  A headache, from bones in the neck and shoulders being off, attempted an attack, but was set aside.  My shin hurts, in some odd way.  More like a charlie horse, in spite of barely having skin there.  Not sure what that is about.  But it is mild, if persistent.  Being milder, it wasn't noticed for a day or three after the others.  If I really don't know what is, or even could, cause it.  Other than that, all clear.  Well, save for still being extremely tired.  Exhausted.  Moving, typing, is taxing.  Still, far better than earlier.

I am trying to figure out a way to get to town, in order to register at least one of my vehicles.  The suv would require an inspection, and... I am having trouble getting them to do that.  Further, they never seem to be able to do it same-day.  So...  As mentioned?  Also, perhaps, mentioned, the battery in the car is down.  I need to figure how to remove, and attempt to charge it.  If that fails, a new battery?  Maybe.

I ordered groceries, for pickup, before realizing my dilemma.  I am attempting to find someone with an automobile, who might be able to do transport, at least for registration, arranging an inspection, and perhaps to pick up a battery as well.  But, without a phone, my access is... limited.  Yea, when it goes off, it goes all the way off.  So difficult some days.  I'll keep at it.

I best feed the girls.  They get just a bit rough if I don't feed them.  They aren't there, but... yea.  They are beginning to lean that way.  Nothing like furry vultures, sitting around you, eyeing you as if you might, yourself, do for a nibble.  I did get the trash out.  In time though?  I'll find out shortly.  Rough, running hard, fighting to get through.  I will get a shower.  I will then set the dishes to a final rinse.  I hope to finish the dishes, or a large portion of them, yet this evening.  And get the battery out and charging.  Ugh.  Later.

Someone thinks, someone knows.

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Hmm? Fie.

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I was looking as I was getting ready.

How does that happen?

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I was almost at the point of considering figuring out how to get to the hospital.  Something was terribly wrong this morning.  The pain wasn't just pain, it felt like a little death, getting worse as it went.  So many things to do, though, and little means to do them, so that I got lost in the possibilities, thus intention for medical considerations was lost along the way.

I decided to have a snack, then prepare a meal.  The ducks, and girls, have been fed and mostly tended.  A shower soon?  If I can.  Then it hit me.

I am doing better.  A lot better.  Almost to normal.  Well, normal for these last few days.  The left hand is still gimped.  But... I hung from a rope, twisted about them three times, with 280 pounds being held pretty much by just those.  I am lucky I didn't lose them.  That they are just a bit sore, swell if I use them much, and such, is a grace.  Devils and demons can't heal you, by the way.  Not from real harms.  They have lost such graces.  That leaves angels, saints, and God... if miracles are happening, it would be them.  Though, perhaps, God builds some of them exceptionally well.  That's my bet.

Anyway, yeah.  I think something peculiar just happened, whatever the case.  I... have things to do.  I'm not sure how much I can do.  But I am forming plans.  Trying to organize the order of application.  For whenever I may start.  Just because the excruciating pain has been released, doesn't mean I am not still exhausted, in part by the suffering.  Still... better... I'll take it, and run with it as far as possible.

Pain.

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In my face, intense.  Broken.  Ribs, stomach, innards, left hand...  Just those areas... wait... elbows?  As if I had slept against their bends, but didn't.  Yes, even the elbows... sprung?  Now, for being such a small area, and limited things that hurt, they all hurt worse than they hurt anywhere along the path to recovery.  If, too, I think initially I had so much pain that my mind couldn't hear it all, or hear it as loudly as it was being pronounced.  NOW I CAN HEAR.

Oh, my backbone, too, literally.  It feels as if it was cracked.  As with ribs.

The left hand is not going to be able to do much.  No, not today.

I half dreamed she visited, the one who died.  She had questions.  Where was I?  I don't know.  I don't remember.  I explained that I can't remember much.  I don't think I was at sea though.  I just don't know.  Her parents, of course, didn't much care for me... us...  They may simply not have contacted me.  Or, the Navy had me on a non-mission mission, or moved me, or... had lost track of me themselves.  It... happened other times, for other people trying to reach me.  Ask my mom.  They tracked me down for her every year I was in, but only did it once a year, so...  yea.

I told her I am still not sure she was real.  It seemed to hurt her, but then I think she... understood better than most... from wherever she is.  Oddly, she flowed over with sympathy, which I asked her not to do.  But I think my situation made her sadder than she had been.  She was still her old age, I could tell.  Her voice, couldn't see her.  Probably just a dream, but had quite a conversation.  If she was real, she did ask if I remembered she was from Florida.  I had, I think I may have mentioned it here?  Anyway... it was... a different dream... or whatever.

Things to do today.  Really got to hit some things.  Can't do much, or physical, must be ready for tomorrow.  Ugh.  Later.
-------------

Someone already knew.  They had left this as a viewed post before I woke.  It was in the "now" section, so had been viewed just an hour or two ago, at the most.  Someone definitely sees.  More than...

Whisperings.

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I can sometimes hear, see, know.  Sometimes just see, or hear and see, or know but none of the others.  I don't get to choose.  It's as if... either I am seeing beyond my allowance, or if things aren't supposed to be fully known, or prevented, yet?  Whatever the case, I receive plenty of material in any case.  As mentioned, usually I can't see about me.  Or... not me, as you know me.  Even that is scant.

I had hoped.

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I thought I had a chance at doing the dishes, showering, shaving, and moving some of the wood cut yesterday.  I'll be doing good to get a shower and shave.  Just tired, worn.  But the... idea won't die.

It was cold, to me, this morning.  It wasn't really cold, about 66 in the main upstairs, if more like 70 in my area.  And downstairs has been in the high 60s to low 70s rather quickly.  To me, it seemed like the 40s or 50s.  Just a bit too cool to get going.  So, I dressed warm.  I refused to turn the furnace up, as mechanical temperature wasn't the problem.

Meds taken, food cooked and in.  Ducks and girls fed and otherwise tended.  I'd like to shower but I may need a nap first.  I did order groceries, for pickup.  I will have to go in, as I don't have a cellphone... unless I am able to pick one up Monday.  I also need to register the vehicles.  Bleh.  Always more to do.

Double burgers, and baked beans.  It's what I have.  I needed to eat, or I was going to begin munching on carb tabs.  Blood sugar has been blown out, but I am losing it with that... for whatever reason.  Still, I'll... figure things out.  A pork roast for later, which should last nearly the week... a meal a day for three or four, maybe five days if it lasts well.  I could pick up veggies while at the store, since I have to go in anyway.  Lettuce, avocado, cucumber, tomato... if those look good... plus a head or two of cabbage... and butter.  Yea...  Along with meats, that should last me well.  Most or all of the month.

Later.

Sleep.

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Such a good sleep!  I went down between 20:00 and 21:00, I am almost certain.  Waking between 03:30 and 04:00.  Remembering little between?  I did set the alarms, for 08:00 and 10:00, just in case.  No need, this time.  I woke a bit cold, if all the blankets had been twisted and kicked off.  It was 66 in the main, up there.  Near me that could mean it was 67 up to 74.  I... put out some serious heat.

I put undersocks, socks, and leg warmers on right away.  I... sensed today would be a bit of a struggle.  I want a shower, and to finally finish catching up on dishes.  With more paper plates and such, I shouldn't fall as far behind, as quickly.  Now to add to my collection, including disposable utensils and bowls better suited to soups.  Then, mostly, I just have cooking ware to keep up on.  Anyway, I will need to be warm to get get going.  But I don't want to turn the furnace up.

It'll be several hours before I can let the ducks out... after dawn, and then some.  Their water is still good.  The next time I get to town, on the way or way back, I need to stop for more feed.  It looks like someone is, from time to time, getting back into my feed.  They aren't taking as much, but a bucket every few days, or half a bucket.  Yea... I started marking it.  I know.  My guess is, doing it more slowly, they are hoping to not have to repay... think I won't notice.  Suspicious, so I set a measure.  Anyway...

A bit sore, but not too bad.  Probably not as bad as any day for the last week.  But that may be... an illusion.  The body has a way of putting out painkillers when it's hurt, that just crush pain sensations for a while.  Or... it's a bitter pill that is helping me getting over the last of the old pains?  I just can't be sure.  All I know is I feel pretty good, if a bit tired.  A bit more tired, albeit, than usual.  A fair trade.

Hmm... breakfast?  I am sure I can figure something out.  A fatted coffee, perhaps turkey burgers?  I just can't be sure.  Later.

A shower, if it took a while.

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No shave, just couldn't do that extra.  Had to just dump the water from the dishes, and move those out in the tubs they were soaking in.  All good.  They will go back in to rinse, as a first task tomorrow.

My hands burned.  That didn't make sense, at first.  They have been swollen to the point of non-usability for a week, give or take.  I haven't gripped anything that tightly in a while.  Still a bit swollen, I would guess.  So, yea, okay.  Oh, and it looks like stigmata might be returning.  I asked to be relieved of it, and was... for a while.  If God has a reason for something, so it goes, and so be it.  I won't ask for relief again, if I will moisturize and tend as well as possible.  it is mild, currently, but it's been slowly getting "worse" over the last three to six weeks.  Very slowly, but... I can't escape noticing, at this point.  So be it.

Oh, two showers in a day, three over two days, I'm in a little bit of heaven!  Another shower first thing, and a shave, I hope.  Then setting the dishes up.  I did, finally, remember to put meat out the thaw.  Burger patties, a pork roast, and... something else...  As well, I had to catch up on tea.  I like to keep four half gallons in the fridge, cooled and ready.  Plus my half gallon drinking vessel... a giant sippy cup, but piss off!  It is the most convenient way to consume.  Anyway, I had gotten behind a couple of half gallons.  Not now.

I am up very late.  Ducks are in, the girls were fed,  I have had a snack or two, but with as many carb tabs as I ate, I am assuming blood sugar will be shot for a bit.  I guess I have to take even less.  I did just change out vials, and I did use them a bit long.  I hate using them for less than a full month.  They say 28 days, and I think, by potency, they aren't joking.  Will... try to give up my obsessive compulsive tendencies from now on.

So very good.  I am so ready for bed.  A few aches, and the burning in the hands, but mostly pretty good.  I should sleep extremely well tonight.  I am getting there.  Just waiting for the water jug to fill...  I like keeping a jug of r.o. filled and ready for the next tea batch.  And I still haven't inflated the bladder, or tried, so that it holds as much as it should.  So... for now, trickle filling an half gallon takes about 16 minutes.  Yea, it's a... minor science.  Actually engineering.  I remember fill and flow rates, plus pass-through and other sorts of filters in engineering courses.

Good night.

Oh yea.

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I didn't start until 17:30?  Give or take a quarter.  And I won't tell you I worked hard, only that I worked as hard as I could, and then some.

The driveway is cleared...  I'll want to rake remnants, but that which needed cutting and could easily be moved by tossing, carrying, or dragging has been moved.  Then, on back to the back door... other back door.  I cleared a long way around path, and was pushing it at that point.  So... I kept going.  I cleared a straight path through.  Talk about a jungle walk!

I cleared some branches I want to keep for wood, if there are a few more I moved but didn't work right then.  I was running out of steam.  I cut most logs into four to six foot lengths, the ones for actual burn use.  I stacked branches and burn wood separately.  Mostly.  Yea, I did it.  I did well.  Monday will see even more done.  Tomorrow is a day of rest.  I know I will need it.

Very good.  I am so pleased.  Little and meek as that was, it was all I could do... plus.  And it took all week to recoup well enough to even do that.  The long underwear and warm clothing did help me get to a place where getting out was possible.  The cold saps, kills intent and ability.  I'm not a snot-nose who can handle it all and more anymore.

Beautiful.  Sweating like I did some work though.  Slathered.  I may take another shower before crashing... just a quick rinse, a one shot on the hair.  Then a bit of time down, gaming if I can.  It might be beyond me.  I might have an easy game to play?  Or, perhaps I could start the game on easy mode, for another play through... and playing when I am shutting down, or already shut down as is the probable case.

Oh, yes!  Finally.  I haven't, and won't, finish the dishes tonight.  Tomorrow.  I am almost certain of it.  And another shower.  Plus food.  I'd best thaw some meat.  Trash had best go out, it was... not pleasant, last time I could remember to notice.  Still, I'll get to things, I'll... keep going, if more lightly.  I'll get it done.  Finally.  Or... amen.  These works are to His glory.  I simply was allowed to do the silly work.  Amen.  Good afternoon, day, and night.

Feeling better.

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I'm still not sure I am ready to cut and pile.  But... I am feeling quite a bit better.  I just had a meal, perhaps that will help.  I am hoping to get out and get to it.  And... I may, or may not.  I need a bit of rest, after the meal.  I have never been able to just jump to after even a moderate meal.  Still hungry, probably hangover from carb tabs.  Those... create a strange hunger.

It was in the low 70s out there.  I still feel cold.  It's in the low 70s in there too, or high 60s?  Somewhere around there.  I gamed for a bit.  I am trying the game on the most difficult setting.  There is even a more difficult setting, but only because if your character dies that ends the game, there are no extra lives, or returns, plus at the most difficult settings.  It's rough.

I am getting old to be playing games, especially games like Doom Eternal, on max settings.  I'm sure the kids would laugh at me.  Still, I enjoy a... bit of a challenge, from time to time.  I did play it on the easiest setting, got some things down, understand various mechanics, learned trigger control... thus ammunition conservation, the map, and monster/demon systems, strengths, and weaknesses.  I probably could have started on this mode, but... I like easing into things, reconning as I may, doing the half to quarter speed trials, first.

Yes, I will go out and begin cutting.  It is the day.  It is the time.  Or, it will be time.  I still need a little time to digest lunch.  Later.

We will see.

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I tried to get a nap going.  I got up, settle in, but it wasn't happening.  Too cold?  Well, and not tired.  So I got up, put on midweight thermal long underwear, warm socks and undersocks, and dressed for work otherwise.  I wasn't going to work for a few hours.  I did need rest, after all else.  So, computing, then possibly gaming, I thought.

Then it hit.  I was pretty sure it was, as impossibly as it was, blood sugar dropping.  A quick check showed blood sugar at 66.  I tried to snack my way out of it, but, again, no dice.  I started the grill, and... not fast enough.  Carb tabs, by the fistful.  No choice.  Food is being prepared, but it will take another twenty to thirty minutes.  Yeah...  Brutal.

I am not sure I will get to work today, for that.  I feel absolutely drained, sick, sweaty, mentally foggy, and else.  Perhaps food will help, in time.  I hadn't planned to get to work until around 16:00, and it is twenty shy of 15:00.  I might even be able to push it to 17:00, or 18:00.  Or... not.  I just don't know, at this point, when or if work is possible today.

I don't understand.  I was cautious with dosing.  Beside the sardines, I ate a serving or two of various nuts... each... pistachios and pumpkin seed.  I have had a fatted drink.  It was ~180 when I dosed.  There is no good reason for a ~114 point drop!  It just doesn't make sense.  No matter.  I have done well, as mentioned, even if the rest of the day is a flop.  If I can pull this out of the fire, and eat it yet, though, I will be quite happy.  Hmm, I should be able to get a shave in there somewhere, if nothing else.  Later.

On schedule.

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Dishes washed, set out, a shower taken, then the dishes reset.  Dishes in the kitchen sink set up.  The area reserved for finish drying dishes cleared, cleaned, and ready.  My dinner tray is on it, but.. not a problem.  I haven't shaved, but I did trim.  As I dry, before I go to bed, perhaps a shave?  Maybe.  Blood sugar is still a bit high, but I don't think I dosed, or ate.  Even so, it dropped about forty points, to ~180.  I am about to have sardines, so just dosed.

I'll have an hour or so to dry, post this, and game.  Then I'll try to hit it.  I may shave first, if my legs are good.  A few to several hours down, then out to cutting.  If not, I am very ready for Monday.  Even if I fail, I... have done much better than I have in a week or more.  It is all looking better.  A shower, twice in a row too, is quite a thing.  A shave would really add to the feeling of being special.

Not bad, not at all.  If I can cut this afternoon, I will feel like a king.  Believe it or else, a good king works.  And likes to work.  Later.

No promises, but...

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Breakfast, or late lunch... lunch?  I never can quite place a meal...  Done though.  And a trim, of whiskers.  Ready for a shower, but I need a bit of a break.  The dishes... a lot of them... a lot of work.  On the good side, my ribs, back, and some other suspect parts, don't hurt after the work.  A bit of gaming, then a shower, air drying, and a nap.  If I can get the dish drying area sorted, too, that would be very good.

I am almost certain I can get to the cutting, if later this afternoon.  Ducks need to be fed, watered, and released... actually I'll do that before a bit of gaming.  An hour down.  Seems like a lot, but I am surprised I haven't crashed.  So, maybe two hours down.  Then, after a shower and setting the dishes up to soak, another hour before a nap.  Yeah, it'll work.

I really think I might, when I finally get out there, be able to hit it hard.  I really am excited to get out there.  Get to it.  I will examine splitting axes, research them... what seems to work best.  And, the next time I am in town, I will seek one.  Compare prices online.  As well as wedges and a sludge hammer, if I can afford those extras.  Definitely an axe.  I might wait on the others, just setting troubling logs aside until next month and more tools?  We'll see.

It's looking good, people.  I've already passed hope, and gotten to some of what I thought would be the more difficult parts, the dishes.  I think the rest is downhill, easy... easier.  I think.  Later.

Yea, well, I am almost certain?

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Work.  Not yet, but... feeling so much better it is almost sure.  I lit the grill, for a bit of food in a short while.  Dishes, perhaps, after this post.  A meal after that.  A shower after that... a trim first.  It is 35 out there, so cutting won't be really early.  If I can get dishes, a meal, and a shower, air dry for a while, then nap, cutting will be easy.  This time I am almost certain.

Dreaming has been on fire.  Dealing with dark things, good and bad men, understandings and mistakes.  It is morel like an intense class, as in education, on tenants, principals, virtues, vices, sins, and such, but through function... by example.  Looking at ancient through recent history of politics and war, discovering right and wrong... and gray.  A good, done for the wrong reason(s), a wrong for the right reasons.  Gray earns you no points, worse if for the right reason(s)... it meant someone understood the difference but didn't fully act on it.  Such... dreams though.  Some are horrible, some are... very good.  I pray, often, right in the dreams.

I am excited though.  I think I will get to it, and do a decent amount.  Further, while I will take Sunday off, at least outside, I will be back to it Monday.  I am... I see things, sometimes.  These I... I think I saw.  As well, I will do a bit of work in the house.  I am almost certain.  I have been praying little prayers, asking that I may succeed, and promising to offer up my efforts as sacrifice in thanks.  I... think so.

I am feeling better, as if that matters always.  I feel much better, if that comes and goes, as well.  I feel mostly rested, ready, able.  It is an exciting thing, to be on the cusp of action.  Prayer is fine, but it is only a portion of the way.  I may have only been able, even then, to pray in my sleep, but even so.  Oh, a few hail Mary's, and Our Fathers, and hailing Jesus and Mary with a hearty "good morning" as I wake, or... sometime after.  I do my best.  But action is a gift of it's own.

I best get to things.  A bit of gaming as the grill heats, some dishes as the meat cooks, then dinner and back to dishes.  Hmm, a trim right away, before gaming.  Trying to get things organized for the attack.

Nothing but something.

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I didn't do a single task.  Couldn't.  I keep asking myself if I am just being lazy, or willful back there.  But that really just isn't the case.  I live in a broken body.  Some days, waking up and getting out of bed is as much as I can do.  Especially when I stretched well beyond it for a day or two.  The body IS mending, but almost every muscle and organ is needing repair, either from the work or from the damages.  Some things healed almost miraculously.  Some of the torn skin, on my stomach, from the sharp edges of the roofing bolts, healed completely in a day.  Some remain, mind you.  About half to two thirds of the torn skin don't even show as scars or other marks they were even there.  But that... was one of dozens of rips and tears, in and out, and the only area to heal as it did.  I have... limits.

That and wrestling back on medicine and insulin, which had dropped in my fallen healing state.  I couldn't... think, remember.  Back on it, but there is a price to coming back on medicine, especially while in such bad shape to start.  Getting there.  And medicine has been regular for, what, a week now?  It will ease, the suffering from it, soon.  Perhaps it has eased, and all that is left is healing?  I am not sure I could tell with so many body complaints at once.  I don't know what is needed, overwhelmed in the suffering as to knowing what hurts and how.  Even now.  If... getting to the point I might be able to bull through... soon?  Today?  I keep... hoping, trying.

The success was being awake until 17:30!  It's a small thing, but... I got to see the sun, as much as I am able.  I stretched my day.  I may well be able to get to work today, for it.  Like a creature coming out of a pain cocoon.  Stretching my blood eagle, but for flight.  It might hurt, but I'll... I am all about pain.  It is all that keeps me stapled together.  If, as mentioned, there are limits.  I woke at midnight, to close the ducks in.  I always do a headcount.  Yep.  I woke, finally, around 03:30.  Just blogging as I wake.

Blood sugar is 220 or so.  It kept dropping, precipitously.  Food wasn't doing it, even a bowl of higher carbs.  I finally had to go to carb tabs, and couldn't stop.  I can't do below 70.  I won't sit on the border.  There is a limit to how much I can eat, plus how much I have on hand, and ready.  I just didn't have a choice, so... *glomb, munch, crunch*  No choice.  I'll do as I can.

I have serious plans to hit dishes, clean off the counter which is mostly ready though, rest probably after, shower, then set the dishes for a rinse.  Another break, probably an hour or two, then finish the dishes.  Oh, a beard trim first, perhaps a shave after finishing dishes?  Maybe.  Then, later, getting into the branches.  I still think, once started, I can hit two groups.  If, too, it will be another two to three days before I can hit more.  It'll... get going.  Later.

Ugh.

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I let the ducks out a bit ago.  It was 38 out there.  Not horrible, but... a bit chill.

Rough, still.  I began feeling very off.  Ah, blood sugar.  It had dropped to 75 and was still falling.  I had been careful with dosing, too.  That just isn't right.  I have food ready, and was able to get more going.  I decided to try to eat my way out of the collapse.  Successful?  I don't quite know yet.  I'll check in an half hour... hour more like.  Then nap if all is good.  I feel like crashing now, but I am not willing to sleep without seeing if I halted the drop.  Keto food only does so-so with that.  If it wasn't all, strictly, keto.

Responses are interesting.  I still think it is an algorithm or someone who just plays from time to time.  I have doubts about... everything.  Still, if a certain set of vids pop, I go in for the puzzle.  I enjoy even a simple game from time to time.  Something or someone really enjoys the game too.  It certainly gives me something to think about.  Curves and a sharp tongue, all good.

Later.

She cheats.

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How does she do that?  She... just... catches me off guard, from time to time.

The plan still stands.

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A day late?  Maybe a week late.  Still, I'll be to it, soon enough.  I woke at almost three, internet was down, so I gamed while trying to wake.  Still tired.  So dark, getting darker, almost magic.  Sleep is off, so what little sun there is, I don't get to enjoy.  Another reason to push for days.  Which, along with else, is part of the program.

A bit of the roast, for breakfast.  Even the small roast will turn into three meals.  The ribs, though few, will be two meals.  Good ones.  Blood sugar is a bit high, if I think I have been missing the slow acting insulin as my days and nights are twisting.  Not too awful high, 191 fasting I think.  So, a dose with breakfast, and the slow acting in.  Heart medicine has been a little screwy.  Trying to know when to take which.  With long sleeps, short waking periods, and changing times for them, I have had to be very cautious.  But, so far, I have stayed on track.  Perhaps not always optimally, say having to take the water pills as I go to sleep, but... that's... it's worth taking it as is possible than missing it.

The hope is to wash the dishes a last time, hop in the shower, set the dishes to a soak, then nap.  It'll take a while to get that done, but it's possible.  Then, when I wake, dress to get out and begin cutting.  I am hoping to get both the batch on the driveway, and a similar portion in the back yard, so as to be able to leave the back door.  I think it may be possible.

Dreams of late, every night.  Some of them very harsh.  Demons to fight, devils too... some of them... most of them?  Indoctrination centers, and escape... while slaughtering those who operate it.  Every night, twice a night often.  I... won't go into details.  Just... be on your toes.  Not sure how much, if coming, can be avoided.  But... it's... ugly.  The dreams for sure, the future, soon or late, as well.

The body still hurts.  Less.  Everywhere that still hurts is both milder and less throbbing or coming and going.  Constant, but often forgettable.  For whatever reason, the damage has caused me to be gassy.  I haven't changed my diet.  I am almost never gassy.  Not sure what exactly would do that.  A specific organ bruised?  The stomach on down shaken up or bruised?  Or did the heavy carb consumption from a bit back do that?  Dunno.  Still, feeling generally better, if still rather wickedly exhausted often.  I'll get to work today, if it kills me.  Swelling is only in my left hand now, and only sometimes.  About half the time?  Or so.  All good.  Healing is happening.  Later.

Not today.

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I did get a shower.  I reset dishes.  I made a meal, with more for two or three meals.  And, I did get my schedule in line with work.  I can't do more.  Sleep, for now.  And, I will attempt to sleep late again.  Of course, I will need to wake, go out, and get the ducks put up.  So very tired, but a partial success.  Medicine and a shower make life better.

Close, doing and feeling better, just not... quite today.  Good day, and night.

Getting there.

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I almost forgot the ducks.  Some quacking, so... I got to them.  Food, water, their pool reset, and out... the muscoby hens can all get out on their own.  But with no food available, they weren't all that happy.  The accusing looks women give, human, duck, cat... They... really are rather demanding as a sex.  All good, keeps me on my toes.

The girls, cats, are on some sort of a warpath today.  Not sure what is up.  Then again, for the last week or three, or more, I have been sleeping days.  So, maybe, this is their playtime?  I am just in the way?  Not sure.  They have been fed, watered, and their litter has been being tended well.  Not sure what their deal is, so I just... try to enjoy it.

I have emptied the dish water and set them out.  I will shower in a bit, took care of the ducks first.  Then put the dishes in, but also clear a space to dry them.  It is mostly ready, the drying space, just needs a touch or two.  I am hoping to do bits of dishes along with parts of the wood, in small sections per.  So tired, still.

The body is feeling a bit better.  The swelling in the hands goes down more quickly, if any use brings it back fairly quickly too.  At least I can hold a grip, even in the left hand, for a goodly while now.  Only swelling sort of mechanically interferes with some sorts of gripping, not pain.  And I probably wouldn't drop something from a whincing pain happening randomly.  Better.  If I am about to challenge that.

It is just hitting 60.  Or was about an half hour ago.  It should be warmer before long.  All good.  A shower and a rest, some gaming and blogging, noon is looking very possible.  I will be doing a roast while at it, and partially doing ribs... the ribs to be grilled tomorrow.  I'm not sure what to do with it, but... some veggie or other.  I am definitely still hungry, if it is fading as I begin heading into ketosis.  Ugh... it takes a bit.  Later.

Maybe?

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I did get back down to bed at around 05:00.  And I woke... around 09:00, give or take an half hour.  I am feeling better.  Nothing hurts too terribly, if I am still a bit tired, sleepy type tired.  I would happily sleep another half day.  But, it seems good enough.  Oh, and blood sugar dropped to 117.  I dosed carefully, and probably a very good thing.  Blood sugar is being very odd, I am being very careful.

I didn't get to dishes.  I think I will do some, but much will simply be drained and set aside.  I want a shower, but can't quite get to all the dishes.  Then air dry as I game just a bit.  I am hoping it hits 60 or 70, before I head out.  Then begin work.  An half hour to hour of work, an hour or two down, then back at it.

I am avoiding working too much.  I am still recovering, hard.  But I want to get to this.  I don't want to beg help of others, this time, if possible.  I will need help getting branches moved, I simply don't have anything to transport the material rightly.  Not without a lot more processing and many more trips.  But I would like to do as much as possible.  The one thing is, there is a branch, pretty much whole, which I won't be able to move, or cut, alone.  But I can do most if not all of the rest... in time.

I am not in a huge hurry.  But... a quick effort on the dishes, then a break, then a shower and another break...  Hopefully out and too it by noon at the latest?  That's sort of the goal...  If not until 14:00, there is that.  I will do what I can do.  I am... to this point, which took nearly a week to near.  I won't just quit, even if it... takes longer.  It is a blessing to be to this point, and I do thank God for it.

No, nothing.

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So very tired, even now.  I did make food, actually.  A bit higher carb, but it's what I had.  Taco salad, again, but with beans this time.  So hungry.  Hmm, more than I thought.  Blood sugar is through the roof.  I'll... have to be careful.  Ugh.  But it is about bedtime.  I would like to hit the dishes first.  So as to shower before bedtime, or when I wake.

So very tired though.  The neck is still hurting, the rest seems to settle quickly once awake.  Fewer water pills next time I take it.  Just cutting by one, for now.  Will see after that.  I almost lost track of heart medicine in there.  Sleep is so off, sleeping far too much if with no choice.  Dark, cooling, healing, trying to work... it's a mess.  But I did keep meds going.

I am hoping to sleep shortly, then wake, shower, and then get to work on the tree limbs.  I think I can.  A day, or dozen, late.  But it is time.  I think... think... I can.  Everything is set to go.  I have three batteries charged up, and will do a roast while working.  A good meal always makes work easier.  It also helps heal if need be.

Later.

Yea, well...

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I never did wake during the day.  I woke around 20:30, and had to fight to wake to get out and shut the ducks in.  I thought it was later.  It is getting so dark so early that I am losing track.  Then, back to bed.  Not even an option.  I am waking just at midnight.  I am only getting up to feed the cats, even so.  But I will stay awake a while this time.  Hoping to nap around, say... 04:00~05:00.  I am also hoping to get a load of dishes done, or two.

I have decided that sleeping on the floor makes recovery more difficult.  It increases the pain from the wounds, and makes healing more painful generally.  On the other hand, I think it speeds healing.  The problem is, I really hurt myself well and truly.  Nothing broken, probably nothing sprained or technically strained, by the whole width of my torso, and a lot of organs, deeply bruised.  Plus rips and tears and muscle overusage.

All good.  It is just that my body can only heal so much, and it does it slowly.  I don't know if it uses some biomedical triage system, or just randomly hits areas.  With so much, think about being a doctor in the middle of a hospital of seriously damaged people?  Possibly with more showing up from time to time.  My body is it's own doctor, and is overwhelmed.  It crashes just from that effort every once in a while.  So, yea, it'll... be a while.

Even so, a part of healing can be working.  Don't want to overdo it.  Though, where that line is is anybody's guess.  I really am hoping to clear the driveway tomorrow.  It won't be taking it all down to raw branches.  The thinner pieces can just be stacked as leafy smalls,  Then, to cut anything that could be firewood, cutting it initially into six to eight foot logs.  Then stacking each group off to the side of the driveway.

Dishes?  Yea, I will try to ease my way into those, using as little energy as possible.  The drill, with brushes, is a good way for serious heavyduty cleaning, but absolutely wears a body out.  Thankfully that isn't needed this time.  I can sit, do a few, rinse and dry those, and set them out to finish air drying.  A dozen or three smaller dozen pieces at a time.  Ugh.  I'll... get there.  I want a shower today.  It's been a bit.  Healing has me pretty crippled up.

I want to say life is almost back to normal, but it isn't even close.  Between the covid bs-ery, my continued need to heal, falling off meds and getting back on them, and some other things, life is as tight as it has been in a very long time.  The good thing is, I am willing and able to... dig for it.  And I am digging.  And that is working.

Blood sugar was 185 today.  It got down to 109, then 98 as I was going to bed yesterday... without any more insulin.  A very strange up and down with that insulin.  I am going to have to be very careful with dosing.  Especially as I get more to eating nearly pure keto again.  The mix is potent.  Hmm, reminds me, I am hungry.  Another taco salad, if definitely something else this afternoon.  I thawed a few beef rips, and a small roast.  I'll next thaw a pack of hamburger patties later this week.  It was quite cheap.  Later.

Uhm, I'm... thinking.

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Last I checked, it was 42 out there.  I am sure it has warmed.  However, I need some sleep.  I am hoping a nap will do, so as to get to work on the limbs this afternoon.

The ducks are out.  They seem quite pleased with the cool.  I need hay though, fresh.  The stuff I had was quite old, musty.  Fresh hay is very needed.  I can clean out their hutch one last time, as I mess with the limbs.  Say a wheelbarrow full out to the pasture every other hour.  It's a heavier task, but would vary against limb cutting.

Feeling better.  A bit of food.  I fried up t he ground meats I had.  Then made a taco salad... just lettuce, meat, cheese, and a dollop of sour cream, if two servings.  I was hungry.  After a dose with a fatted coffee, blood sugar only dropped to 171.  I am, albeit, being rather cautious with dosing.  I had a minor dose with the taco salad, but blood sugar is down to 109.  I won't dose again, even if I were to have more.  Which... I'm not.  At least not until after the nap.

A bit rough.  My neck hurts in odd ways.  As mentioned, my arteries actually hurt.  Or along those tracks.  I may have to cut the water pill.  I think I have heard that such pains can be an indication of excess fluid loss?  I keep hitting it.  And, my feet are exceptionally 'skinny' lately.  Yeah, odd.  But, perhaps, I am not drinking enough to be at that high of a dose with the cooling taking place?  I need to be cautious with such pain, I think.

It's not the only pain.  Aches, pains, and general complaints.  Still, it might well help me to get to work.  Not quite yet.  My sleep is still too off.  But, if with the longer sleep last night, and perhaps a nap this morning to the early afternoon, I might be able to get to cutting and hauling.  I am truly excited to get the saw going.  I just... have to be able to stand, do, act, move the limbs before and after cutting.  I... think I will.  Today or tomorrow, it is coming.

A visitor, of sorts.

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Just her, again.  I don't think she meant to... disturb.  She was just looking at things, strobing my cortex but for her own reasons, exploring her feelings.  But, I... caught a scent of something, so went looking.

And found what was strolling my mind.  Her.  Definitely.

Pushed for more sleep.

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I can't be sure when I went to bed.  Later in the morning, I think.  Blood sugar had dropped terribly, to 70.  It was dropping still, I could sense it.  Carb tabs by the fistful.  I feared it would spike my fasting blood sugar, but I... had not choice.  Actually, at 191, it isn't too bad.  The weekly average is down to 158 as well!  Quite good, actually.  I wasn't in any shape to cook, and didn't have anything prepared, no choice.  And, no, I hadn't dosed at lower levels.  Not sure... what happens, always.  It just crashes.  At least, awake or asleep, I am aware.

I woke at around 21:00 and change.  Ducks!  Even if I am going to sleep longer, I have to put the ducks in.  The ones who can get out can fly, and up into branches.  They will just have to take care of themselves.  I could close the windows, but... I... would rather not.  Then I have to open them during the day.  Hmm... I may close them during the winter... even winterize them a bit?  Maybe.

Then, back to bed.  I woke a bit after 01:30?  Some time in there.  Waking was painful.  Mostly the midsection and tight muscles.  But they are getting better.  The torso pains feel old, dated, fading.  Muscles?  I keep pushing them, every few days.  Until the tree is gone, they won't be allowed to heal fully.  Which... is why I tried to sleep later.

I am hoping to work on the branches tomorrow.  Clearing at least the driveway.  Perhaps working on the back porch area, at least to allow access again.  Piling the cuts into easy to remove piles.  Stacking wood to be chopped into separate piles.  I will need a splitting axe.  I have a felling axe, but that just isn't the same.  As well, I may look for splitting wedges and a larger sledge hammer.  I really do want to begin splitting logs.  Even a few a day, as I tend the ducks.  For my health.

I will tinker a bit, perhaps hit dishes, fold some clothes, work on the leather thimbles?  I may nap through the night yet, as well, to be fresh.  It got to the 60's at least, if very cold in the morning.  I can do 60's.  Probably 50's, but not quite lower.  I am excited to get to the saw again.  I was afraid it would eat batteries.  But, honestly, in the half hour we used it, it didn't lose even one of the three battery life led bars!  Even if it loses a bar every half hour, I have several batteries, and I doubt if I could keep up with the battery life anyway.  Not for long.  So, it's all good.  I'll bet the battery will recharge faster than I can recharge!  Bah!  Getting old sucks!  If... it isn't all bad.  Later.
-------------

Oh, but a dream.

I met... something... after the time of man.  A creature, several of them actually but the lead is the one I involved myself with.  His, or it's, name was Oblivion.  I... couldn't place him, at first... I will use "him" as a simple convention... if not a literal thing.  For he was of not one sex, or the other, or even indifferent... as the wind, or sun, or moon, or earth.

Anyway, we were speaking, and... I realized he and his cohorts had to... go.  They had to become no more.  They did not wish to be no more, so, of course, put up a fight.  They were no contest to my ways and will, and so, soon, all were gone.  But... who... were they?  I use they, who, and such, much as I use "him".  Convention, not literal, for they were not people.

It bothered me.  So long in, and the dream was hanging on the thread of knowing whom I had just dispatched.  Who had I just destroyed?  Then, it... began to dawn on me.  It was death, and plague, hunger, and some others.  No, not the riders or angels.  But the ones which had troubled man since his eviction from the Garden of Eden.

You might believe that the angels of death, and the riders, are the same as those spirits which inflicted, or blessed, men... in their fallen state.  You would be wrong.  It was these who I slew, and gladly.  Their time was over, their existence needed to be ended.  In heaven, and even from those suffering hell, of the man type, there was much rejoicing.  Funny?  I... had forgotten I now had an aware audience!  And a lively easy to please crowd at that.  Woot!

Cold out there!

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Most of the late night, I checked three times after 02:00, it was about 32.  It didn't, to my knowledge, dip below that.  With the sun up for a while now, it has risen to 36 degrees.  It has been that the last few days, into the low forties before that, so it's... a trend.  I am calling that winter weather, if I am not quite convinced winter is here... not quite yet?  We shall see.

The ducks have been fed, watered, and released.  Mourning Dove freely goes out before being let out.  Several of the others definitely can, but very rarely choose to leave.  As well, she seems to be t he only one to roost higher.  I am considering putting in a wooden slat ladder, for me, but also some sort of means for them to get up there in stages.

Getting them to go up doesn't do anything special, but it does double the floorspace.  It just eases crowding.  Plus, I might be able to create a few brooding areas up there, just for a few of the hens.  I'd have to create a small fence, to keep the chicks up, but... it's all possible.  I also plan to make small fenced areas, for brooding, with shelters within.  Waiting on materials...  I will just have to see what I can do, what works, and what is possible.

I would like to get out, and cut.  But it really is too cold, for now.  Until I acclimate, the cold just eats me alive.  It will happen, just... not quite yet, not today.  I must admit, I am excited to get out and cut.  The new saw is a thrill and... honor.  Plus, after I get the wood cut into right lengths, I will begin chopping that.  A log or three a day... something meaningful to do.  I will be giving much of it away, but... that... allows service, allows me to be useful.  All good.

I am feeling slightly better, if quite tired and weary.  Tomorrow, I hope, I can get back at things.  Probably just dishes, maybe a load of laundry, thawing meats for the week... and cooking a ground meat mix for various things as well.  Taco salad sounds really good.  I am trying, and mostly, sticking to keto.  But I must have done something wrong.

Blood sugar started out at 179.  I had a bowl of popcorn.  Not perfect keto, at all, but it usually isn't a problem.  Today it was, driving blood sugar to 219.  After a hefty dose, with a fatted coffee, it is back to 129.  I mean to maintain with food, only using insulin as a minor boost until I can stop using it.  As mentioned, popcorn usually isn't a problem.  Perhaps too many carbs in too short of a period, between yesterday and today.  Tracking is difficult, I sort of have some presorting, but mostly postrealizations to work with.  I do need to replace the phone, soon.

A nap, or bedtime, shortly.  Later or much later.

A gift.

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While I can't do much, I can help very slightly.  Nothing worth much.  Just... a little help, now and again.  A few hours, a few times a week, and sometimes dinner... if I shared out the costs on that, so.  Well, someone thought that was worth something.  And, so, offered something of great use and value.  I won't say I deserve it, I did offer sincere gratitude.

A DeWalt, electric, cordless, chainsaw!  We go it running, right before I crashed.  And did some work with it.  It cuts like a charm.  Plus an extra blade, blade sharpening files, and a mount for my wrist if I ever lose a hand!  Well... maybe not the wrist mount.  So, now, I can get to it!  Ah, but... I realized something from the little bit we did in testing.

A goodly part of my problem is that I am extremely worn.  Whether it is just medicine, the ongoing illness, just being out of shape, something else, many other things, or a combination of some or all of those and some unknowns?  I... I just don't know.  But that little bit of work we did absolutely did a number on me.

My hands are swollen again.  Every ache that had slowed it's boil to simmer is back on full burner.  Aches that had gone have returned.  Muscles in my upper chest, arms, and legs have all gone violin string tight again.  Skeletal hurts are back, to include some sort of headache from that.  Even my innards have turned back into dancing beans, in the worst of ways.  All good, it just means I need to take it more slowly.  I now have the tools needed.

Oh, but this thing cuts like a charm!  And it's light as a feather.  What wore me wasn't cutting, I think, it was moving the branches, and getting them in place to cut.  That wood... some of those branches are the equivalent non-branching thirty foot trees, with seven to ten inch diameter trunks.  I had help, and we didn't move many or far, but that ate me.  I'll not do a lot of moving.  I think I will clear the driveway first.  Branches on every side of my house... lots of them.  All good.

Still, I was so pleased.  I didn't expect anything.  Didn't think what little I had done was worth it.

Fasting blood sugar is 177.  That is down from a day reading of 331 on the 25th.  Day readings are lower.  Oh, and 565 day reading the 20th.  My current day readings are in the low portion of 100's... as a comparison.  Fasting is always... almost always... my highest reading... until a flip at some point... even then it can be iffy.  Oh, and only, say, 20 cc's of insulin total yesterday?  Actually 45, if you count the 25 slow acting.  But that may begin coming down too.  I'll... keep on it.  Later.

A very strange breakfast.

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I have malt-o-meal, from time to time.  It is rather high in carbs, but if I haven't eaten carbs in a few days... say less than 10 grams, I will have a bowl of this stuff.  A childhood favorite, and nice and warm, filling too.  The last time I made it, I grabbed a container out of the fridge without looking closely.  The raw whole cream and sour cream arrive in the same shape and sized containers.

Yes, yes indeed.  Sour cream in there.  I... really wanted to hate it, throw it out immediately, and never discuss the matter.  However... it... wasn't... terrible?  It... was so weird though, true.  But I was hungry, and... I could at least muddle through it while thinking on the matter.  I just couldn't quite call it good, or bad, or unworthy.  Yes, I had sweetened it, if with keto-friendly sweeteners.

This time, today, I wanted to add cream.  Then I realized, I am using that up heavily, trying to get into ketosis.  I need that for coffee.  So, I thought about the sour cream, but this time doing it on purpose.  You know, that really isn't too bad.  It is so very rich, creamy, with just a little sour back-bite.  I won't say I would want this every time.  But I wouldn't mind it from time to time.  I wonder what else sour cream might go into?  It's... amazing, really.

I haven't gone on back to bed.  Not yet.  I also haven't gotten back to work.  I will let the ducks out at sunup, then go to bed then?  I think so.  Oh, but trash has to go!  It is getting cool, cold really, out there.  Last I checked, it was down to 36, perhaps 32?  It may well have dropped since.  Sometimes it holds steady, sometimes there is a little or bigger drop right before through to right after sunup.

I am still rough.  Arteries in the neck are troubling again.  Ribs have eased up.  It's as bad as when I woke, just different areas.  I need more food.  Oh, blood sugar was 104 last I checked... about an hour ago.  After this, I think I will eat something else, dose though too... lightly... stay up until the ducks can be let out, then crash.  I can't do any work.  Gaming, I suppose.  And food.  Later.  Or, more likely, good night... and morning, day.

Someone has been digging.

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Going way back, looking at specific topics.  I don't forget, but I don't always recall.  I am not, exactly, sure what they are seeking, hinting at, suggesting, or trying to understand.  I can't read well, but I can look at the videos.  Too tired to read, and sometimes I can't handle my own writing.  I just... can't always face what was, what I suspect, what will be, what could be or might have been.  Not today, to be sure.  I already hurt a bit much.

The rest of the cabbage for breakfast.  Either you love, or hate, the stuff.  I can eat, currently, as much fat as needed to get into keto... before backing it off.  And butter makes everything better.  Salt ain't bad either.  Dang, forgot to crack fresh pepper.  Even if you can't taste pepper, it still adds some magic.  Try it sometime, with a salad, or soup, or piece of meat... split the meal into three portions... one will have only standard spice... say salt; one will have enough pepper added to really taste it; and one will have a decent sprinkling of pepper, but be below the threshold of taste.  Try the plain one, then the one where it's presence isn't know after a five minute wait, then eat the last portion five minutes later.  Do it several times.  You will be amazed, especially if you don't generally like pepper (which, at once, I thought I didn't) how much the middle plate, the unsensible pepper dish, has changed.  I drool just thinking about it.  Pepper is almost magic.  Now that I actually like pepper, I like to add it to full flavor from time to time, but not every time.  That can be a goodly lot of pepper and doesn't fit with every dish.

I am feeling better, without having done anything but take meds, eat, and take all medicines.  Not better enough to get going.  I am still so very crushingly tired!  So tired.  Still, I am hoping to hang on, and get some things done.  I can't do dishes, I don't want to go upstairs or I may sleep.  Hmm... I could get the trash bagged and out.  Yes, I could.  And, then, I'll play games until it is time to test blood sugar.  If at that time I am still toasted, I will go on to a nap.

There is still some pain, but it's not agonizing.  Still pretty rough.  Not sure why.  I didn't do anything too strenuous, but did do some work to keep stretched and loose.  It doesn't make sense.  Oh well, I'll keep at it.  Trash, then gaming, then... whatever is possible.  So tired, sore.  I have had much worse.  I still remember cracking or breaking ribs... that was pretty awful.  I think the worst in... though... maybe that is what happened this time?  Bah.  Later.

Brutal.

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It's like it's all back.  The torso has reset back to the day of the incident.  I slept well, didn't roll, wasn't in pain, remain chaste... not sure what the problem is.  It is a horrible 'morning'.  Headache is gone, from yesterday... well... lessened by a lot.  Arteries don't hurt, yet?  On the good side, when I hit it, I hit it hard!

Tonight?  If I can round up enough wool, I will do a load of that.  Same with synthetics.  I might just have enough, if I go through every room and pick up everything.  They will be very small loads, but that isn't a problem.  It makes life easier, actually.  I have started, as a general rule, wearing liner socks.  It both keeps the feet a bit warmer, but helps the more expensive wool or specialty synthetic socks last longer.  I need to start sorting out the socks which need heels, or other spots, darned, and get going on that.  I... like the idea.  The practicum might even actually be a small joy of a hobby.

Dishes as well.  I am so close to being caught up.  I need to cook something tonight, ground meat crumble, I think, is what is left... a pound of pork, beef, and turkey.  Makes a good mix, lasts a week, and can be added to anything.  Even if I spice it, herbal or hot, I'm not picky about using, say, italian or mexican spiced meat in the opposite, or just for general meals.  I'm just not worried.

As well, a shower, and shave, plus trash out.  Well, that's the goal.  I'll set the alarm for a few hours.  If I can't get started by then, I may go back to  bed for a bit, hoping to wake in better shape.  I won't take aspirin.  I took it yesterday to no affect.  Whatever is wrong, aspirin isn't helping.  I'll get to things tonight, one way or another, when I can.  Hmm... best do trash first.  If I end up napping first, which I would bet money on if I were a betting man, I will grab everything possible to wash of wool and synthetic while up there.  Later.

Much of it.

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All save dishes.  Three loads of laundry.  Though I did set up dishes, doing more isn't going to be possible.  Neck problems?  Something is wrong with it.  As if I strained it.  The arteries hurt, too.  I'm always a bit concerned when that happens.  I suspect it has something to do with blood pressure, either coming down a bit fast, or going up.  Being that I started meds, and have been on them well since restarting, it must be a lowering... plus, when I work, pulse won't go up.  So exercise can be risky.  Or I am just getting to neck problems after the other problems have been solved from the falls and etc.  Bleh.

I did eat, got full too.  But I am still HUNGRY.  So very hungry.  I couldn't eat any more, filling up fairly well on cabbage, with a bit of pork rib on the side.  I will have a fatted coffee again before bed.  Fatted tea this time?  Meh, who knows.  Blood sugar is 111 after the meal and a 10 cc dose again.  Very good, exceptional return to control.  But... that has to do with watching, within my capacity, caloric, carb, and protein intake.  It's not ideal, my ability to guesstimate portions, but it's... just keeping that in mind and trying is helping.  But why so HUNGRY!?!  HUNGRY!

The ducks are out.  I got the new pool under the old one, and filled.  I had to herd them to food.  Thankfully, ducks heard quite well.  If you go slow it works much better.  The cats have been fed and watered, I should check their litter before crashing.  I'll let them up with me, too.  They wake me, but... I don't mind.  I would probably wake anyway, from time to time, just alone.

I did take a handful of Anacin.  I am almost out.  I had an extra bottle in the bathroom, that is gone.  I am really thinking about doing some sort of inventory, and locking things up somehow.  I am being robbed blind.  Whatever.  Not a lot I can do about it.  And, over time, they would figure out the locks.  Still, I wouldn't mind trying.  I had been making it to early afternoon the last few days.  But then, with starting back in working, I think it is taking it out of me.  All good.  I will gladly trade a bit of time, currently, for work.  I am pretty sure it will lead to a more solid schedule when I make it back to days... if I can keep working.

Good night, morning, and... day.  Be well, get to church if you have wisdom and the health, and say a little prayer for me, if you wouldn't mind.